0:00:00.373,0:00:05.729
For the time being, the English subs are being made as "English, British subtitles". See the comments to the main page for the video.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The American dream

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's a reason they call it a dream...

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"Ah! Who's there?"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Cock-a-doodle-doo, pal."

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*knock knock knock knock*

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"No, no, no, no, no! I don't have any

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more money! My job sucks right now, please!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'll have more money next month!

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You can't take my house."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Is that your signature?"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Ohhhkay just help me work something out, okay?"

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I mean, you said I'm a good credit guy, right? I mean- hey! Wait!

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My dog is in there! No, don't take my dream!" <i>sobs</i>

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Oh, how did this happen?

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-explosion-

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-gasp- huh?

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Hartman? I-i-is that you?

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Been a long time since the fourth grade.

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...Is that a time machine?

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There's no need to concern yourself with my

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
astounding accomplishments. Best get in, there's not much time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But I gotta go down to the bank and get my life back-

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they took everything!

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Ohh!! Bank ain't gonna help you now.

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Now: check in the trunk.

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There's an extra set of balls. Put 'em on, you're gonna need 'em.

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You're gonna get my dream back?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No, pal, you are. I'm here to show you how.

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Submitted for your approval.

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1: First national bank.

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What is a bank, you ask?

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A curious place where both space, time, and irony exist,

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and yet, don't.

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Uh, are you gonna be doing that the whole time?

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Pay attention, Pyle.

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Exhibit A: Those who have come to deposit and safely store their earned monies.

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Exhibit B:

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Those who need to borrow said money for purposes

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unkown.

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Hey! That's me!

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Ergo, Exhibit C:

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The bank only has so much money in the vault to lend out to people such as you.

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Hey, hey that's the guy!

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He took my house!

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Really schoolin' my vibe here, Pyle

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Space time continuum, he can't hear you;

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just let me narrate.

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Where was I? <i>ahem</i>

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But you see, by the time he got to you

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Pyle, his bank was out of money.

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But, he gave me lots of money, and charged me a lot of interest.

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Yes,

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that's the only way banks make money-

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By making debt loans.

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Debt equals money, Pyle. Remember that.

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Debt equals money.

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The more loans they make, the more money they make.

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But if they don't have any

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money, then where did my money come from?

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You're gonna want to take a step back, Pyle.

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Whoa! No way!

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Yes way.

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And that's nothing.

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Hey buddy, need some money?

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They didn't do that!

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Oh they did exactly that, Pyle!

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Remember, banks make money by making loans,

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by selling debt.

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even to... bad credit risks.

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Yo! Have some money, dude! Just sign here.

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Oh my gosh!

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Mmm they called it free money.

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Yeah, that's exactly what my loan guy told me: free money!

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But it ain't free!

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The worst part was offering money to people who don't even need it.

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People, Pyle, like you.

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You're right. I didn't need him.

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I was happy here.

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I didn't need it!

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Why is he sad? He's making all that money.

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Shhh. He's thinkin'

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Now wait for it... now wait for it....

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Bingo!

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See the bank is loaned to everyone in town

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but to make more money, they have to loan

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even more.

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More!? How much money do they need?!

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More...

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Wha! What's that?

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Behold! A black horse riding!

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Credit card.

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Wow! Look, I mean, it's gonna be okay.

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Everything is gonna be okay.

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What now?

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Now, piled with all this money, we might as well partay.

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Oh-ho, this is awesome! I needed to

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get my head clear.

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When I get back, I'm gonna straighten all this out

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I just hope dream is doin' okay.

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I'm going to get you, my pretty.

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Yep! He is. I'm sure he is.

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<i>burp</i>

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Would you put it on his tab? Little somethin' for yourself.

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Mm.

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You know, wait a second Hartman. I just thought of something.

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If I got this money from the bank, and the bank got it from the federal reserve dove tracks

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Then where does the federal reserve gettheir money?

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Real nice time, ladies. Real nice.

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Excuse me while I borrow your bikini.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hartman, why am I wearing a burglar bikini top?

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Because no one is allowed inside the fed.

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Not you, not me, no American citizen, no duly elected member of Congress

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not the Supreme Court-

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Not the Supreme Court?

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Not the Supreme Court.

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Not the Justice Department, CIA DIA, FBI

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ATM, ATE, NBC, not even J ol' D

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How come the government isn't allowed inside its own building?

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Government? Pyle, the fed is a private bank owned by private stockholders

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Do not let the name federal fool you.

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This place is about as federal as federal express.

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A-a-a a private bank? But

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private?!

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Shh

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Best to keep your voice down, Pyle.

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This is Ethan, federal reserve.

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Hey Ethan, Bill here!

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First National. Hi there, Bill, how are ya?

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Good, good, we're running a little

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low on money.

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No problem, how much you need?

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Oh, how does $20 million sound?

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What!?

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Excellent, we'll ship it over first thing tomorrow

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Wait, he can just call up the fed and ask for more money

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and they give them whatever they want?

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No, Pyle, the fed don't give them

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banks money- the fed LOANS the banks money.

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The banks have to pay it back with interest

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Come on, time to go

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Wait wait wait wait wait, I still don't understand

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Where does the fed get their money? I mean, if they're a private bank

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You said they're a private bank right? Okay, so who puts money into the fed bank?

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This is Mel, United States Mint.

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Hiya Mel, First National needs another 20 millies.

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We're already runnin' the process full steam here, Ethan.

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Gotta keep makin' loans, gotta keep the money flowin'.

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Ahhhhlright, you're the fed... Whatever you guys say!

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$20 million more, put more in it!

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But I don't get it, what's so wrong about the fed printing money?

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Because it's unconstitutional, Pyle!

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Our treasury is supposed to create our money, but now the fed controls the printing of

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America's money. Nobody gets a friggin' dollar that the fed didn't print.

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So?

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They print the money and then they loan it to the government, then they charge the government interest

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then the government taxes you to pay for it.

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Wake up, Pyle!

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Gah! I-I don't see what the big deal is!

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Hmm.. You know you're right, Pyle.

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Wait, I am?

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Yeah! I forget how effective they are at keeping you ignorant.

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Well that's okay- Hey! I'm not ignorant.

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Do you know what money IS, Pyle?

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In the long ago, people bartered.

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The people traded things they had for things they wanted.

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I'll trade you my raspberries for that there pie.

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Ehh, I don't want your berries.

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Come on, I've got sweet berries.

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They're not sweet, they're old! And I don't like berries.

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Give me that pie, Pyle!

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No!

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As you can see, this bartering situation created some problems

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Then one day, a goldsmith walked up and said...

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Now, everybody thinks gold is

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valuable, so why doesn't everybody trade gold for things they need? <i>cheers</i>

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The price was set for gold and now it was very easy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to conduct commerce because people could trade gold

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for all the things they needed.

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Hartman!

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Wow!

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Look at all my gold!

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Hey, hey stop them!

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That's my gold!

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Damn thieves!

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Say there, Pyle, I've got a vault and some guards. I could keep your

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gold safe for you, for a small fee.

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Yeah, sure that'd be awesome.

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You see, Pyle, this is how the first banks made money.

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There ya go, Pyle. I owe you 100 gold coins.

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Okay, great!

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Come back any time and redeem your

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gold when you want it, it'll be right here- in my vault.

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Now you're holding the very first paper money, Pyle.

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Wow, this is great, it all makes sense.

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Oh, that's right, it was good, and everybody started using I.O.U.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because everybody knew that I.O.U. was as good as

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gold.

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Wow, this candy is really a good price- 1 I.O.U.- I'm getting some more for later

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hey! Wait a minute, it was just 1 I.O.U.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
10 I.O.U.s for chocolate?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He can't just raise his prices like that.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh the candyman can

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ohhhh the candyman caaaaaaaan

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Wait...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That is just friggin' wrong.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Call it inflation, Pyle.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Makes your I.O.U.s worth less and less

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
until they are worth nothing.

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With less bang for the buck, a dollar ain't what it used to be.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But I worked hard and I baked all those pies

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Now I have to work harder to make less? That's not fair.

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Oh! If you think that's not fair, you're gonna love the next part.

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What's he doing?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
How do banks make money, Pyle?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Umm.. by making more loans?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh that's right, he's good.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
See, he prints more I.O.U.s

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
without any more gold, loans them out for interest, makes a pretty penny

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and nobody is the wiser...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Unless, everybody wanted their gold back at the same time

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No, no, no, no, no, that's MY gold.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Not anymore.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Whaaaat are you talking about?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'd like to redeem my I.O.U.'s please.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Thank you very much.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hey!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I want my gold back now!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Thief! Thief!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Gotta love the banker, huh? Bringing people together.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
See they all found out he was

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
stealing, made a run to the bank and demanded their gold

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But as you can see...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there ain't no gold to get.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hartman!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Don't worry, Pyle, back in these towns

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
vengeance will be yours.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Three things in this world you don't do:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Never mess with another man's woman.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Never mess with another man's ego

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and most importantly,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you never mess with another man's money.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Else a man will mess with you

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
My god, you hung him?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yes, Pyle! Oh we hung him, we hung him high!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And do you know why?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Mm... because he was a thief?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because, Pyle, an evil invention was born.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Man discovered how to turn worthless paper

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
into gold

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Thus was invented

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the ultimate machine to steal real money

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and enslave all the nations on earth

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's alive!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh now, come on, you're just being dramatic

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I mean, I lost my house

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but-

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What is that? Explain.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
A nuclear power plant?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Mmhm. Produces lots of electricity and little pollution,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ohhhkay.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But what's this have to do with?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
3... 2...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Holy!--- atomic energy!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a discovery more powerful than anything man had yet to see.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It can be used for good...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or evil.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Now, unlike Einstein, the goldsmiths

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
discovery has been kept a closely guarded secret

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it was never intended for you to see

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
this discovery is called fractional reserve banking

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In the wrong hands, it's more powerful than a nuclear bomb

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in it ability to completely and utterly destroy a nation who is subjected to its perversion

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No, no, no, no, no, no

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It is time we stop this evil secret

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the men behind it!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You're being ridiculous.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Before America is destroyed forever, beeelieve it Pyle.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No, no, no, no I just want my dog back

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Dammit, that's it, I give up, let them live in chains.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No, Hartman, the tree of liberty must be

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Thomas Jefferson?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Mr. President, how do I get him to understand?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
As we did, son.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Remain vigilant. Too many have hidden the truth

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the light of our liberty dims with every passing day.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Quickly, take my horse, show him!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Wait, show me what, where are we going?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Heeeey, stallion of libertai!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ride on the holy wind!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh, where are we?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Battle of Waterloo, hold on we gotta get through!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The money machine- there it is!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hey, is that the same people?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Rich bankermen from Germany

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
flying under the banner of the red sheep

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
they fought against both sides of the war.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We must hurry!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That's him, the red-shield courier, shoot him!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No! I'm not shooting anyone.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Dammit, Pyle.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He beat everyone back with the news of the war and told England that Napoleon won.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The red shield bankers of London pretended that England was doomed

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and started selling their English stocks.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the English went into a sellin' frenzy to get rid of worthless English money.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But, the English won, right?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Of course they won, but it was a trick by red shield!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They waited until the stocks plummeted to pennies