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The American dream
There's a reason they call it a dream...
"Ah! Who's there?"
"Cock-a-doodle-doo, pal."
*knock knock knock knock*
"No, no, no, no, no! I don't have any
more money! My job sucks right now, please!
I'll have more money next month!
You can't take my house."
"Is that your signature?"
"Ohhhkay just help me work something out, okay?"
I mean, you said I'm a good credit guy, right? I mean- hey! Wait!
My dog is in there! No, don't take my dream!" sobs
Oh, how did this happen?
-explosion-
-gasp- huh?
Hartman? I-i-is that you?
Been a long time since the fourth grade.
...Is that a time machine?
There's no need to concern yourself with my
astounding accomplishments. Best get in, there's not much time.
But I gotta go down to the bank and get my life back-
they took everything!
Ohh!! Bank ain't gonna help you now.
Now: check in the trunk.
There's an extra set of balls. Put 'em on, you're gonna need 'em.
You're gonna get my dream back?
No, pal, you are. I'm here to show you how.
Submitted for your approval.
1: First national bank.
What is a bank, you ask?
A curious place where both space, time, and irony exist,
and yet, don't.
Uh, are you gonna be doing that the whole time?
Pay attention, Pyle.
Exhibit A: Those who have come to deposit and safely store their earned monies.
Exhibit B:
Those who need to borrow said money for purposes
unkown.
Hey! That's me!
Ergo, Exhibit C:
The bank only has so much money in the vault to lend out to people such as you.
Hey, hey that's the guy!
He took my house!
Really schoolin' my vibe here, Pyle
Space time continuum, he can't hear you;
just let me narrate.
Where was I? ahem
But you see, by the time he got to you
Pyle, his bank was out of money.
But, he gave me lots of money, and charged me a lot of interest.
Yes,
that's the only way banks make money-
By making debt loans.
Debt equals money, Pyle. Remember that.
Debt equals money.
The more loans they make, the more money they make.
But if they don't have any
money, then where did my money come from?
You're gonna want to take a step back, Pyle.
Whoa! No way!
Yes way.
And that's nothing.
Hey buddy, need some money?
They didn't do that!
Oh they did exactly that, Pyle!
Remember, banks make money by making loans,
by selling debt.
even to... bad credit risks.
Yo! Have some money, dude! Just sign here.
Oh my gosh!
Mmm they called it free money.
Yeah, that's exactly what my loan guy told me: free money!
But it ain't free!
The worst part was offering money to people who don't even need it.
People, Pyle, like you.
You're right. I didn't need him.
I was happy here.
I didn't need it!
Why is he sad? He's making all that money.
Shhh. He's thinkin'
Now wait for it... now wait for it....
Bingo!
See the bank is loaned to everyone in town
but to make more money, they have to loan
even more.
More!? How much money do they need?!
More...
Wha! What's that?
Behold! A black horse riding!
Credit card.
Wow! Look, I mean, it's gonna be okay.
Everything is gonna be okay.
What now?
Now, piled with all this money, we might as well partay.
Oh-ho, this is awesome! I needed to
get my head clear.
When I get back, I'm gonna straighten all this out
I just hope dream is doin' okay.
I'm going to get you, my pretty.
Yep! He is. I'm sure he is.
burp
Would you put it on his tab? Little somethin' for yourself.
Mm.
You know, wait a second Hartman. I just thought of something.
If I got this money from the bank, and the bank got it from the federal reserve dove tracks
Then where does the federal reserve gettheir money?
Real nice time, ladies. Real nice.
Excuse me while I borrow your bikini.
Hartman, why am I wearing a burglar bikini top?
Because no one is allowed inside the fed.
Not you, not me, no American citizen, no duly elected member of Congress
not the Supreme Court-
Not the Supreme Court?
Not the Supreme Court.
Not the Justice Department, CIA DIA, FBI
ATM, ATE, NBC, not even J ol' D
How come the government isn't allowed inside its own building?
Government? Pyle, the fed is a private bank owned by private stockholders
Do not let the name federal fool you.
This place is about as federal as federal express.
A-a-a a private bank? But
private?!
Shh
Best to keep your voice down, Pyle.
This is Ethan, federal reserve.
Hey Ethan, Bill here!
First National. Hi there, Bill, how are ya?
Good, good, we're running a little
low on money.
No problem, how much you need?
Oh, how does $20 million sound?
What!?
Excellent, we'll ship it over first thing tomorrow
Wait, he can just call up the fed and ask for more money
and they give them whatever they want?
No, Pyle, the fed don't give them
banks money- the fed LOANS the banks money.
The banks have to pay it back with interest
Come on, time to go
Wait wait wait wait wait, I still don't understand
Where does the fed get their money? I mean, if they're a private bank
You said they're a private bank right? Okay, so who puts money into the fed bank?
This is Mel, United States Mint.
Hiya Mel, First National needs another 20 millies.
We're already runnin' the process full steam here, Ethan.
Gotta keep makin' loans, gotta keep the money flowin'.
Ahhhhlright, you're the fed... Whatever you guys say!
$20 million more, put more in it!
But I don't get it, what's so wrong about the fed printing money?
Because it's unconstitutional, Pyle!
Our treasury is supposed to create our money, but now the fed controls the printing of
America's money. Nobody gets a friggin' dollar that the fed didn't print.
So?
They print the money and then they loan it to the government, then they charge the government interest
then the government taxes you to pay for it.
Wake up, Pyle!
Gah! I-I don't see what the big deal is!
Hmm.. You know you're right, Pyle.
Wait, I am?
Yeah! I forget how effective they are at keeping you ignorant.
Well that's okay- Hey! I'm not ignorant.
Do you know what money IS, Pyle?
In the long ago, people bartered.
The people traded things they had for things they wanted.
I'll trade you my raspberries for that there pie.
Ehh, I don't want your berries.
Come on, I've got sweet berries.
They're not sweet, they're old! And I don't like berries.
Give me that pie, Pyle!
No!
As you can see, this bartering situation created some problems
Then one day, a goldsmith walked up and said...
Now, everybody thinks gold is
valuable, so why doesn't everybody trade gold for things they need? cheers
The price was set for gold and now it was very easy
to conduct commerce because people could trade gold
for all the things they needed.
Hartman!
Wow!
Look at all my gold!
Hey, hey stop them!
That's my gold!
Damn thieves!
Say there, Pyle, I've got a vault and some guards. I could keep your
gold safe for you, for a small fee.
Yeah, sure that'd be awesome.
You see, Pyle, this is how the first banks made money.
There ya go, Pyle. I owe you 100 gold coins.
Okay, great!
Come back any time and redeem your
gold when you want it, it'll be right here- in my vault.
Now you're holding the very first paper money, Pyle.
Wow, this is great, it all makes sense.
Oh, that's right, it was good, and everybody started using I.O.U.
Because everybody knew that I.O.U. was as good as
gold.
Wow, this candy is really a good price- 1 I.O.U.- I'm getting some more for later
Hey! Wait a minute, it was just 1 I.O.U.
10 I.O.U.s for chocolate?
He can't just raise his prices like that.
Oh the candyman can
Ohhhh the candyman caaaaaaaan
Wait...
That is just friggin' wrong.
Call it inflation, Pyle.
Makes your I.O.U.s worth less and less
until they are worth nothing.
With less bang for the buck, a dollar ain't what it used to be.
But I worked hard and I baked all those pies
Now I have to work harder to make less? That's not fair.
Oh! If you think that's not fair, you're gonna love the next part.
What's he doing?
How do banks make money, Pyle?
Umm.. by making more loans?
Oh that's right, he's good.
See, he prints more I.O.U.s
without any more gold, loans them out for interest, makes a pretty penny
and nobody is the wiser...
Unless, everybody wanted their gold back at the same time
No, no, no, no, no, that's MY gold.
Not anymore.
Whaaaat are you talking about?
I'd like to redeem my I.O.U.'s please.
Thank you very much.
Hey!
I want my gold back now!
Thief! Thief!
Gotta love the banker, huh? Bringing people together.
See they all found out he was
stealing, made a run to the bank and demanded their gold
But as you can see...
there ain't no gold to get.
Hartman!
Don't worry, Pyle, back in these towns
vengeance will be yours.
Three things in this world you don't do:
Never mess with another man's woman.
Never mess with another man's ego
and most importantly,
you never mess with another man's money.
Else a man will mess with you
My god, you hung him?
Yes, Pyle! Oh we hung him, we hung him high!
And do you know why?
Mm... because he was a thief?
Because, Pyle, an evil invention was born.
Man discovered how to turn worthless paper
into gold
Thus was invented
the ultimate machine to steal real money
and enslave all the nations on earth
It's alive!
Oh now, come on, you're just being dramatic
I mean, I lost my house
but-
What is that? Explain.
A nuclear power plant?
Mmhm. Produces lots of electricity and little pollution,
Ohhhkay.
But what's this have to do with?
3... 2...
Holy!--- atomic energy!
a discovery more powerful than anything man had yet to see.
It can be used for good...
or evil.
Now, unlike Einstein, the goldsmiths
discovery has been kept a closely guarded secret
it was never intended for you to see
this discovery is called fractional reserve banking
In the wrong hands, it's more powerful than a nuclear bomb
in it ability to completely and utterly destroy a nation who is subjected to its perversion
No, no, no, no, no, no
It is time we stop this evil secret
and the men behind it!
You're being ridiculous.
Before America is destroyed forever, beeelieve it Pyle.
No, no, no, no I just want my dog back
Dammit, that's it, I give up, let them live in chains.
No, Hartman, the tree of liberty must be
refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants
Thomas Jefferson?
Mr. President, how do I get him to understand?
As we did, son.
Remain vigilant. Too many have hidden the truth
and the light of our liberty dims with every passing day.
Quickly, take my horse, show him!
Wait, show me what, where are we going?
Heeeey, stallion of libertai!
Ride on the holy wind!
Oh, where are we?
Battle of Waterloo, hold on we gotta get through!
The money machine- there it is!
Hey, is that the same people?
Rich bankermen from Germany
flying under the banner of the red sheep
they fought against both sides of the war.
We must hurry!
That's him, the red-shield courier, shoot him!
No! I'm not shooting anyone.
Dammit, Pyle.
What?
He beat everyone back with the news of the war and told England that Napoleon won.
The red shield bankers of London pretended that England was doomed
and started selling their English stocks.
the English went into a sellin' frenzy to get rid of worthless English money.
But, the English won, right?
Of course they won, but it was a trick by red shield!
They waited until the stocks plummeted to pennies