1 00:00:00,373 --> 00:00:05,729 Please do not edit these "English" subtitles, and do not translate them into other languages. Due to a glitch explained in the comments to the main page, the complete English subs are in the "English, British" subtitle track: please use that for translations. 2 00:00:33,899 --> 00:00:36,416 The American dream 3 00:00:37,083 --> 00:00:39,961 There's a reason that they called it a dream 4 00:00:39,961 --> 00:00:40,791 Ah! 5 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:41,771 Who's there? 6 00:00:42,122 --> 00:00:43,927 Cock-a-doddle-do pal 7 00:00:43,927 --> 00:00:45,006 knocking 8 00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:50,709 No no no no no 9 00:00:50,709 --> 00:00:52,649 I don't have any more money. 10 00:00:52,810 --> 00:00:55,215 My job sucks right now, please! 11 00:00:55,215 --> 00:00:57,218 I'll have more money next month. 12 00:00:58,951 --> 00:01:00,601 You can't take my house! 13 00:01:00,601 --> 00:01:02,141 Is that your signature? 14 00:01:04,121 --> 00:01:07,211 Oookay well just help me work something out, okay? 15 00:01:07,211 --> 00:01:08,580 I mean you said I'm a good credit guy right? 16 00:01:08,580 --> 00:01:10,140 I mean...hey, wait! 17 00:01:10,630 --> 00:01:11,940 My dog is in there! 18 00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:14,700 Nooo, don't take my dream! 19 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,330 sobbing 20 00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:20,448 Oh, how did this happen? 21 00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:24,955 BOOM 22 00:01:24,955 --> 00:01:25,635 Huh? 23 00:01:27,875 --> 00:01:30,035 Hardman? Is that you? 24 00:01:30,243 --> 00:01:32,555 Been a long time since the fourth grade. 25 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:43,280 Is that a time machine? 26 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,110 There's no need to concern yourself 27 00:01:45,110 --> 00:01:46,550 with my stand accomplishments. 28 00:01:46,550 --> 00:01:47,505 Best get in. 29 00:01:48,019 --> 00:01:49,149 There's not much time. 30 00:01:49,434 --> 00:01:50,974 crying I gotta go down to the bank 31 00:01:50,974 --> 00:01:52,146 to get my life back. 32 00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:53,956 They took everything! 33 00:01:53,956 --> 00:01:56,683 Ooh! Bank ain't gonna help you now. 34 00:01:56,904 --> 00:01:58,194 Towel in the trunk. 35 00:01:58,414 --> 00:01:59,394 Extra set of balls. 36 00:01:59,394 --> 00:02:00,515 Put 'em on, you're gonna need 'em. 37 00:02:00,595 --> 00:02:02,275 crying you're gonna get my dream back? 38 00:02:02,275 --> 00:02:05,165 No, pal. You are. I'm here to show you how. 39 00:02:05,165 --> 00:02:07,673 ZOOM 40 00:02:08,507 --> 00:02:10,917 "The Twilight Zone" theme music 41 00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,403 Submitted for your approval, 42 00:02:14,403 --> 00:02:16,173 one First National Bank. 43 00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:17,812 What is a bank, you ask? 44 00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:18,920 A curious place 45 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:21,502 where both space, time, and irony exist. 46 00:02:22,023 --> 00:02:22,623 And yet... 47 00:02:23,221 --> 00:02:23,521 don't. 48 00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:25,186 Uh, are you gonna be doin' that the 49 00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:25,956 whole time? 50 00:02:25,956 --> 00:02:27,328 Pay attention, pal. 51 00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:28,312 Exhibit A: 52 00:02:28,312 --> 00:02:30,912 Those who have come to deposit and safely 53 00:02:30,912 --> 00:02:31,990 store their earned monies. 54 00:02:32,654 --> 00:02:33,374 Exhibit B: 55 00:02:33,714 --> 00:02:35,914 Those who need to borrow said money 56 00:02:35,914 --> 00:02:37,524 for purposes...unknown. 57 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:38,611 Hey! 58 00:02:38,812 --> 00:02:39,672 That's me! 59 00:02:39,672 --> 00:02:41,672 Ergo, exhibit C. 60 00:02:41,956 --> 00:02:43,666 The bank only has so much money 61 00:02:43,666 --> 00:02:44,837 in the vault to lend out. 62 00:02:45,282 --> 00:02:45,792 To people 63 00:02:46,157 --> 00:02:46,937 such as you. 64 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:48,227 Hey! 65 00:02:48,274 --> 00:02:49,144 Hey that's the guy! 66 00:02:49,283 --> 00:02:50,400 He took my house! 67 00:02:50,424 --> 00:02:52,439 Really screwin' my vibe here, pal. 68 00:02:52,582 --> 00:02:54,762 Space-time continuum, he can't hear you. 69 00:02:54,762 --> 00:02:56,467 Just let me narrate. 70 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:57,837 Now, where was I? clears throat 71 00:02:58,100 --> 00:02:58,960 So you see, 72 00:02:59,131 --> 00:03:00,801 by the time he got to you, pal, 73 00:03:01,036 --> 00:03:02,766 His bank was out of money 74 00:03:03,625 --> 00:03:03,995 But 75 00:03:04,371 --> 00:03:05,532 he gave me lots of money 76 00:03:05,532 --> 00:03:07,150 and charged me a lot of interest. 77 00:03:07,544 --> 00:03:08,044 Yes. 78 00:03:08,237 --> 00:03:10,167 That's the only way banks make money. 79 00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,599 By making debt loans. 80 00:03:11,599 --> 00:03:13,301 gun cocks Debt equals money, pal. 81 00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:14,470 Remember that. 82 00:03:14,773 --> 00:03:16,195 Debt equals money. 83 00:03:16,278 --> 00:03:18,958 The more loans they make, the more money they make. 84 00:03:19,188 --> 00:03:20,610 But if they don't have any money, 85 00:03:20,610 --> 00:03:22,260 then where did my money come from? 86 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,569 beeping You're gonna wanna take a step back, pal. 87 00:03:27,673 --> 00:03:28,273 Woah! 88 00:03:29,147 --> 00:03:30,167 No way! 89 00:03:30,423 --> 00:03:31,073 Yes way. 90 00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:32,145 And that's nothing. 91 00:03:32,749 --> 00:03:35,157 Hey buddy, need some money? 92 00:03:37,456 --> 00:03:39,306 They didn't do that! 93 00:03:39,688 --> 00:03:41,798 Aw, they did exactly that, pal. 94 00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:44,311 Remember, banks make money by making loans, 95 00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:46,473 by selling debt, even to 96 00:03:47,165 --> 00:03:49,197 ...bad credit risks. 97 00:03:49,197 --> 00:03:51,817 hip hop music 98 00:03:51,817 --> 00:03:54,282 Yo, have some money, dude. 99 00:03:54,282 --> 00:03:55,677 Just sign here. 100 00:03:55,927 --> 00:03:57,220 Oh my gosh! 101 00:03:57,220 --> 00:03:59,313 Mm-hm, they called it "free money". 102 00:03:59,382 --> 00:04:02,060 Yeah, that's exactly what my loan guy told me, 103 00:04:02,060 --> 00:04:03,142 free money! 104 00:04:03,317 --> 00:04:04,597 But it ain't free, 105 00:04:04,723 --> 00:04:06,172 The worst part was offering money 106 00:04:06,172 --> 00:04:07,755 to people who don't even need it. 107 00:04:07,755 --> 00:04:09,743 People, pal, like you. 108 00:04:10,491 --> 00:04:11,771 horn honking 109 00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:12,912 You were right, 110 00:04:13,031 --> 00:04:14,431 I didn't need him 111 00:04:14,431 --> 00:04:15,841 I was happy here, 112 00:04:15,841 --> 00:04:17,031 I didn't need it! 113 00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:26,632 Why's he sad? He's makin' all that money. 114 00:04:26,987 --> 00:04:29,087 Shhhhh...he's thinkin'. 115 00:04:31,670 --> 00:04:33,080 Now wait fo it... 116 00:04:33,853 --> 00:04:35,733 Now wait for it... 117 00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:37,409 Bingo. 118 00:04:37,994 --> 00:04:40,354 See the bank has loaned to everyone in town, 119 00:04:40,437 --> 00:04:42,091 but to make more money they have 120 00:04:42,091 --> 00:04:43,424 to loan even more. 121 00:04:43,977 --> 00:04:44,607 More? 122 00:04:44,895 --> 00:04:46,425 How much money do they need? 123 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,020 More. 124 00:04:48,824 --> 00:04:50,374 ominous music Waah? What's that? 125 00:04:50,374 --> 00:04:52,574 Oh ho, a black horse ridin'... 126 00:04:53,404 --> 00:04:59,204 credit cards. 127 00:05:12,298 --> 00:05:13,293 Wow! Look, 128 00:05:13,553 --> 00:05:15,040 I mean it's gonna be okay. 129 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,690 Everything's gonna be okay. 130 00:05:16,978 --> 00:05:17,738 What now? 131 00:05:17,897 --> 00:05:18,637 Now?