(Sold)
(For Sale)
(Bank like family!)
(Loan)
(Pile signs loan contract)
[Dog barks]
[Brakes screech]
[Off voice] The American Dream.
There's a reason to call it a dream.
[cock cries] [Man] Who's there?
[Off voice] Cockadoodledo, Pile!
[knocking] (Foreclosed)
[Pile] No, no, no, no no!
I don't have any more money!
My job sucks right now, please!
I'll have more money next month!
(Bank)
You can't take my house!
[Banker] Is that your signature? (Loan contract signed Pile)
[Dog whines]
[Pile] OK, just tell me we'll work something out, OK?
I mean you said I'm a good credit guy, right?
Hey, wait! My dog is in there!
No, don't take my Dream! [He weeps]
Oh, how did this happen?
[Explosion and flare noise]
(OUTATIME)
Hartman? Is that you?
[Hartman] It's been a long time since the fourth grade.
(4th Grade)
[Pile] Is that a time machine?
[Hartman] There's no need to concern yourself with my astounding accomplishments.
Just get in. There's not much time.
[Pile] Well, I got to go down to the bank to get my life back.
They took everything!
[Hartman] Oh! Bank ain't gonna help you now.
Towel in the trunk.
It's a set of balls. Put them on, you're going to need them.
[Pile] You're going to get my dream back?
[Hartman] No, pal: you are. I'm here to show you how.
(E=mc squared)
(Winter of 2006)
[Hartman] Submitted for your approval: 1. First National Bank.
What is a bank, you ask?
A curious place where both space, time and irony exist -
- and yet, don't.
[Pile] Are you going to be doing that the whole time?
[Hartman] Pay attention, Pile.
Exhibit A: those who have come to deposit and safely store their earned monies.
Exhibit B: Those who need to borrow said money for purposes unknown.
[Pile] Hey, that's me! (Not so prime)
[Hartman] Ergo.
Exhibit C: The bank only has so much money in the vault to lend out to people such as you.
[Pile] Hey! Hey, that's the guy! He took my house!
[Hartman] Really screwing my vibe here, Pile.
Space-time continuum: he can't hear you. Just let me narrate.
Now where was I?
So you see, by the time he got to you, Pile, his bank was out of money.
[Pile] But he gave me lots of money and charged me a lot of interest.
[Hartman] Yes: that's the only way banks make money,
by making debt loans: debt equals money, Pile. (DEBT=MONEY)
Remember that: debt equals money.
The more loans they make, the more money they make.
[Pile] But if they don't have any money, then where did my money come from?
[Hartman] You're going to want to take a step back. (FED)
[Pile] Whoa! No way!
[Hartman] Yes way. And that's nothing.
[Banker] Hey, buddy! Need some money?
(BUM)
[Pile, offscreen] They didn't do that!?
[Hartman] Oh, they did exactly that, pal.
Remember: banks make money by making loans, by selling debt, even to -
bad credit risks.
[Banker] Yo! Have some money, dude!
Just sign here.
[Pile] Oh my gosh!
[Hartman] Mmm! They called it free money.
[Pile] Yeah! That's exactly what MY loan guy told me: free money! (Loan contract signed Pile)
[Hartman] But it ain't free!
The worst part was offering money to people who don't even need it. (We own your ass!)
People, Pal, like you. (New Home Magazine - New Bank Offers)
[Van honks] (Bank like family!)
[Pile] You're right! I didn't need him: I was happy here.
I didn't need it! (New Home Magazine - New Bank Offers)
(Bank Like Family)
[Pile] Why is he sad? He's making all that money.
[Hartman] Shh. He's thinking.
[Clock ticking]
[Hartman] Now wait for it, now wait for it...
Bingo!
See, the bank has loaned to everyone in town.
But to make more money they have to loan even more.
[Pile] More? How much money do they need?
[Hartman] More...
[Pile yells] What's that?
[Hartman] Behold! A black horse riding: credit cards.
(Refinance your home!!!)
[Pile] Wow! Look! I mean it's going to be okay, everything is going to be okay.
What now?
[Hartman] Now? Pile, with all this money, we might as well party.
[Music plays...]
[Pile] Woahao, this is awesome! I needed to get my head clear.
When I get back I'm going to straighten all this out.
I just hope Dream is doing okay.
[Howling]
[Barking]
[Male witch] I'm going to get you, my pretty.
[Pile] Yup, he is. I'm sure he is.
[Burps]
[Hartman] Yeah, you put it on his tab. A little something for yourself.
Wait.
[Pile] You know, wait a second Hartman, I just thought of something.
If I got this money from the bank
and the bank got this money from the Federal Reserve dump trucks
[Hartman] Go on.
[Pile] Then, where does the Federal Reserve get their money?
[Glass breaks]
[Hartman] Real nice time ladies, real nice.
Excuse me while I borrow these. [Women screech]
[Pile] Say, Hartman. Why am I wearing a burglar bikini top?
[Hartman] Because no one is allowed inside the Fed.
Not you, nor me, no American citizen,
no duly elected member of our Congress,
not the Supreme Court
[Pile] Not the Supreme Court?
[Hartman] Not the Supreme Court.
Not the Justice Department, not the CIA, the DIA, FBI, ATF, ATENBC
not even G-O-D.
[Knocking]
[Pile] How come the government isn't allowed inside its own building?
[Hartman] Government? Pile, the Fed is a private bank, owned by private stockholders,
do NOT let the name "federal" fool you.
This place is about as federal as Federal Express.
[Pile] A-a-a private bank?
But, private?
[Hartman, quietly] Shh.
Best to keep your voice down Pile.
[Phone ringing]
[Ethan] This is Ethan, Federal Reserve.
[Bill] Hey Eth, Bill here, First National.
[Ethan] Hi there Bill, how are ya?
[Bill] Good, good, we're running a little low on money.
[Ethan] No problem. How much do you need?
[Bill] Oh, how does 20 million sound?
[Pile, loudly] What?
[Slaps]
[Ethan] Excellent. We'll ship it over first thing tomorrow.
[Pile] Wait, he can just call up the Fed and ask for more money
and they give him whatever they want?
[Hartman] No, Pile. The Fed don't give the banks money.
The Fed loans the banks money.
[Slams]
[Hartman] The banks have to pay it back with interest.
Come on, ...
[Pile] Wait wait wait wait, I still don't understand.
Where does the Fed get their money? I mean if they're a private bank.
You said they were a private bank, right?
Okay, so who puts money into the Fed bank?
(US MINT)
[Phone ringing]
[Mal] This is Mal, United States Mint.
[Ethan] Hiya Mal, First National needs another 20 millies.
[Mal] We're already running the press at full steam here Ethan.
[Ethan] Gotta keep making loans, gotta keep the money flowing.
[Mal] All right, you're the Fed. Whatever you guys say.
Twenty million more, by morning!
[Horn blowing]
[Pile] But I don't get it, what's so wrong about the Fed printing money?
[Hartman] Because it's unconstitutional, Pile!
Our Treasury is supposed to create our money
but now the Fed controls the printing of Americas money.
Nobody gets a friggin' dollar that the Fed didn't print.
[Pile] So?
[Hartman] They print the money, then they loan it to the government
then they charge the government interest,
then the government taxes you to pay for it.
Wake up Pile!
[Pile] I don't see what the big deal is.
[Hartman] You know, you're right Pile.
[Pile] Wait a minute, wait, I am?
[Hartman] Yeah, I forget how effective they are at keeping you ignorant.
[Pile] Well that's okay -
Hey! I'm not ignorant!
[Hartman] Do you even know what money is, Pile?
[10th Century]
[Pies]
[Hartman] In the long, long ago, people bartered:
they traded things they had, for things they wanted.
I'll trade you my raspberries for that there pot pie.
[Pile] I don't want your berries.
[Hartman] Come on, Pile, they're sweet berries.
[Pile] They're not sweet, they're old, and I don't like berries.
[Hartman] Give me that pot pie!
[Pile] No.
[Hartman] As you can see, this bartering situation created some problems.
Then one day, a goldsmith walked up and said,
"Now, everybody thinks gold is valuable,
so why doesn't everyone trade gold for things they need?"
[Cheering]
The price was set for gold and now it was very easy to conduct commerce
because now people could trade gold for all the things they needed.
[Pile] Hartman! Wow, look at all my gold!
[Robber snickers evilly]
[Pile] Hey! Hey, stop them! That's my gold!
[Hartman] Damn thieves.
[Ethan] Say there, Pile
I've got a vault and some guards.
I can keep your gold safe for you.
For a small fee.
[Pile] Yeah, sure, that'd be awesome.
[Hartman] You see Pile, this is how the first bank made money.
[Ethan] There you go Pile, I.O.U 100 gold coins.
[Pile] Okay, great!
[Ethan] Come back anytime and redeem your gold when you want it.
It will be right here-
in my vault.
[Hartman] Now you're holding the very first paper money Pile.
[Pile] Wow, this is great. It all makes sense.
[Hartman] Oh, that's right, it was good,
and everybody started using "I.O.U"
because everybody knew the I.O.U was as good as gold.
(Chocolate $1)
[Pile] Wow, this candy is really a good price.
1 I.O.U, I'm getting some more for later.
(Chocolate $10)
Wait a minute, it was just 1 I.O.U.
10 I.O.U's for chocolate?
He can't just raise prices like that!
[Hartman] Oh, the candyman can.
[Music plays]
[Hartman] ♪Oh, the candyman can!♪
[Pile] Wait, that is just freakin' wrong!
(Water 20)
(Water 200) [Hartman] It's called inflation Pile.
It makes your I.O.U's worth less and less
until they are worth nothing.
Less bang for the buck, dollar ain't what it used to be.
[Pile] But I worked hard and made all those pot pies.
Now I have to work harder to make less?
That's not fair.
[Hartman] Oh, if you think that's not fair
you're gonna love the next part.
[Pile] Oh, what's he doing? (Chart - Gold | I.O.U.S)
[Hartman] How do banks make money, Pile?
[Pile] Errh, by making more loans?
[Hartman] Oh, that's right! He's good.
See, he prints more IOUs without any more gold,
loans them out for interest, makes a pretty penny - and nobody is the wiser,
unless -
- everybody wanted their gold back at the same time.
[Pile] No no no no no no, that's my gold!
[Hartman] Not -
anymore.
[Pile] What are you talking about?
[Hartman] I'd like to redeem my IOUs, please.
Thank you very much.
(Out to lunch) [Pile] Hey!
[Crowd shouting] [Pile] I want my gold back now!
[Man] Thief! Thief! [Hartman] Battle of the bank run. Bringing people together.
See, they all found out he was stealing,
made a run on the bank and demanded their gold.
But as as you can see, there ain't no gold to get.
[Pile] Hartman!
[Hartman] Don't worry about it. Back in these times,
vengeance will be yours.
Three things in this world you don't do:
Never mess with another man's woman.
Never mess with another man's ego.
And, most importantly, you never mess with another man's money.
Else, man, we'll mess with you.
[Pile] My God! You hung him?
[Hartman] Yes, Pile. Oh, we hung him, we hung him high.
And do you know why?
[Pile] Well, because he was a thief?
[Hartman] Because, Pile, an evil invention was born
Man discovered how to turn worthless paper into gold.
Thus was invented the ultimate machine to steal real money
and enslave all the nations on earth.
[bang and growling]
[Financier] It's alive!
[Pile] Oh now, come on! You're just being dramatic.
I mean, I lost my house, but...
[Hartman] What is that? Explain.
[Pile] A nuclear power plant?
[Hartman] Mmm. Produces lots of electricity and little pollution.
An invention for the good of humanity.
[Pile] OK, but what does this have to do with... [watch ticking]
[Hartman] Three, two,
[Explosion]
[Pile] Holy...! [Hartman] Atomic energy.
A discovery more powerful than anything man had yet conceived.
It can be used for good
or evil.
Now, unlike Einstein, the goldsmith's discovery has been kept a closely guarded secret.
(Fractional Reserve Banking - Reserve | Loans) It was never intended for you to see.
(Depositor) This discovery is called Fractional Reserve Banking.
(Borrower) In the wrong hands, it's more powerful than the nuclear bomb
in its ability to completely and utterly destroy a nation who is subjected to its perversion.
[Pile] No - no no no no no.
[Hartman] It is time we stop this evil secret and the men behind it ...
[Pile] You're being ridiculous! [Hartman] ... before America is destroyed forever.
Believe it, Pile!
[Pile] No no no no no! I just want my dog back.
[Hartman] Damn it! That's it. I give up.
Let them live in chains.
[Tinkling]
[18th c. ghost] No, Hartman!
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."
[Pile] Thomas Jefferson?
[Hartman] Mr President, how do I get him to understand?
[Jefferson's ghost] As we did, son, remain vigilant.
Too many have hidden the truth and the light of our liberty dims with every passing day.
[Tinkling] Quickly, take my horse! Show him! [Tinkling]
[Pile] Wait. Show me what? Where are we going?
[Horse whinnies]
[Hartman] Away, Stallion of Liberty! Ride hard the hoary wind!
[Pile] Oh, where are we?
[Hartman] Battle of Waterloo. Hold on! We gotta get through!
A money machine. There it is!
[Pile] Hey, is that the same people?
[Hartman] Rich banker men from Germany flying under the banner of the Red Shield.
They financed both sides of the war. We must hurry.
That's him, the Red Shield courier. Shoot him!
[Pile] No. I'm not shooting anyone.
[Hartman] Dammit, Pile. [Pile] What?
[Hatrman] He beat everyone back with the news of the war
and told England that Napoleon won.
The Red Shield bankers of London pretended that England was doomed
and started selling their English stocks.
The English went into a selling frenzy to get rid of worthless English money.
[Pile] But, the English won, right?
[Hartman] Of course they won.
But it was a trick by Red Shield. (London Stock Exchange)
They waited until the stocks plummeted to pennies and then bought England back for nearly nothing.
[Pile] What? They did that? How?
[Hartman] When the English leaders found out,
they had no choice but to give themselves over to the Red Shield.
Their money was gone and they were slaves to the Red Shield war debt.
Since that time the English have been paying their national taxes
directly to the Red Shield private bankers.
The people have no idea.
But the bankers bragged about what they did to us,
laughing at us all the way to the bank. {Buckingham Palace)
[Nathan Rothschild] Why, it's the best pistes (?) I've ever done.
If I can control a nation's wealth I cannot make its laws.
[Pile] Oh, is this what Jefferson wanted to show me?
[Hartman] No, Pile. Look.
[Pile] They're in America too?
[Hartman] The Red Shield banks are here, Pile, seeking a way to conquer our American Dream.
The dream you had, Pile. The dream of free men.
They tried to take over our country many times
and failed because Jefferson and the patriots vowed to stop the evil tyrants at all costs.
[Kiss - tinkling]
[Hartman] By authority of eternal God he would not let the bankers win here.
[Jefferson] To preserve our independence we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt.
We must make our choice between economy and liberty or profusion and servitude.
(Thomas Jefferson actually said this...) [Pile] Wow!
[Jefferson] I place economy among the first and most important of republican virtues,
and public debt is the greatest of the dangers to be feared.
It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes.
(Banking) [Banker] We must have a central bank to secure this country's finances!
[Jefferson] If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their money,
(Yes. He actually said this.) first by inflation and then by deflation,
the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of their property
until their children will wake up homeless on the very continent their fathers conquered.
[Banker] Jefferson, you're mad! This country will have a central bank.
[shouts]
[Pile] Who's that? [Hartman] America's first Secretary of Treasury.
[Pile] Alexander Hamilton. [Hartman] Not for long.
Aaron Burr, Thomas Jefferson's Vice President.
They didn't take too kindly to our first Sec[retary of] Treasury. [Gun shots]
[Off voice] Sweet shot, Burr. [musical note]
[Hartman] The first attempt at a central bank only lasted 20 years and was shut down.
But the bankers tried again against "Old Hickory", President Andrew Jackson.
[Jackson] You are a den of vipers and thieves.
I intend to rout you out and by the eternal God I will rout you out.
[Hartman] After surviving an assassination attempt, Jackson finally defeated the bank in 1836.
When asked what was the greatest accomplishment in his life, Old Hickory replied:
[Jackson] I killed the bank.
And those were his last words: "I killed the bank."
And, with real money backed with real gold,
our country experienced the greatest boom in any nation's history.
Oh, it was beautiful, Pile.
But the bankers, greedy for more power and wealth, were concocting their most ambitious plan yet:
to once and for all take control of the finances of the United States.
In 1910, a secret meeting was held in the J.P. Morgan estate on Jekyll Island of the coast of Georgia.
This meeting was so secret, so concealed from government and public knowledge,
that the 10 attendees used code names.
(J.P. Morgan code name: Hula Girl)
[Morgan - clears his throat] I am clearly the richest man, so I should be the one to run the super secret central bank.
(J.D. Rockefeller code name: Lube Job)
[Rockefeller] I own all the oil in America. I'm clearly richer than you will ever be Hula Girl.
I should run the super secret central bank.
[Morgan] You're nothing compared to me, Lube Job.
I shall run the secret bank.
[Boom!] [Off voice] Silence!
[Morgan] Supreme Master Leader, I didn't know you were gonna be here.
(Supreme Master leader (name withheld for scary security reasons))
[Supreme Master Leader] I'm not. Neither are you, dumb ass.
[Rockefeller] Oh yeah, right, right.
[Morgan] He's so smart! [thunk]
[SML] None of you shall run the bank.
We have failed in the past because of openness. This time the key to success is secrecy.
The people must believe that they run the bank.
[Morgan] Yes, brilliant! A sneak attack. What's the plan? [thunk]
[SML] We first create panic, then we show them the solution.
With our man in office and well-planned timing, we will have our central bank.
And so the people think it is theirs.
We shall christen it Federal, the Federal Reserve. [general laughter]
[Thunderclap] [Hartman] ["Jingle Bells" tune] They struck on December 23rd, 1913,
when most of our Congress were at home eating fruit cake,
these bastards - I mean bankers - presented their treasonous act
to their newly elected accomplice Woodrow Wilson,
who had fortuitously already agreed to sign it (Federal Reserve Act - The 10th Amendment to the Constitusion of the United States - I.R.S)
before he was even elected.
[Pile] Wait. The IRS? I thought we always had the IRS.
[Hartman] No, Pile. They did this to us too.
The Fed now has the exclusive power to print America's money.
They loan this money to our banks and our government at interest,
putting immediate debt on our own money,
printing more and more so each dollar they print becomes worth less than the one before.
[Bang] [Hartman] Merry Christmas.
(IRS) [screeching, mechanical noises]
[Pile] What in the hell is that?
[Hartman] That, Pile, is how our government now must pay back these debts to the Fed.
Your taxes did not go to your government.
[Pile] They don't?
[Hartman] Hmm. It's the greatest theft in human history.
[Pile] But... Okay. I mean, I sorta get what you're saying,
but it's also confusing and really Hartman, I don't see how it affects me at all.
If I had more money, none of this would have happened.
Hartman? [Car door clanks - engine revs up - cash register clinking]
[Pile] 1955! Wow, what are we doing here?
[Hartman] Oh, a little bit of shopping.
Here, hold this. Gallon of gas: 23 cents.
Postage stamp: 3 cents.
Ounce of gold: 35 dollars.
Hot baby: priceless.
Best be getting back. [Flying noise]
[Boy] Hey, Hartman! I need my car, man!
[Pile] Oh, was that Michael J?
[Hartman] Yeah, he'll be fine.
[Cash register clanking] (For Sale $20,000 -> $400,000)
(Gas - Everything Must Go!!!) [Hartman] Now Pile,
would you agree that you have the same exact things you had in 1955?
[Pile] Yeah: one stamp, one gallon of gas, one ounce of gold and one home.
Wow, we just made a lot of money.
[IRS men] Grab grab grab grab grab.
[Pile] Hey! [IRS starts noisily]
[Hartman] Gotta pay your taxes. Then it's nice to have made all that money.
[Pile] Wait, that isn't fair! Now I actually have less money. I can't even go buy the things I just sold.
[Hartman] The IRS and the Fed's inflation work together, Pile.
They aren't just taxing gain, they are taxing their inflation.
You are no richer than you were in 1955.
Now, does that sound fair or American to you?
[Pile] Yeah, but I mean, who doesn't hate taxes? I hate the IRS anyway.
[Hartman] Pile, the higher they make the inflation, the more of your money they take.
It's thievery. You're not paying taxes on any more,
you are paying taxes on the same and now you have less.
They take our property away right in front of our eyes just like Thomas Jefferson said they would.
[Pile] What's that?
[Hartman] They found us! Quick, my sword!
[Pile] What sword?
[Hartman] We don't need your banking machine! I condemn you to die, dammit!
Die! Pile, Bernanke bogie on my nine! Take him at his knees!
[John Fitzgerald Kennedy] For we are opposed around the world
by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies primarily on covert means
for expanding its sphere of influence.
[Pile] What's happening? Where am I?
[Hartman] I believe perhaps you understand now, Pile. But you are afraid.
[Pile] JFK. Hartman, what does this have to do with my house and my dog?
Okay, that's enough. I want to go home now.
[Hartman] This is the last president to stand up to the Fed.
You must see.
On June 4, 1963, President Kennedy signed Executive Order 11110.
This executive order empowered the U.S. Treasury to issue real money without the Fed.
It would have worked.
Kennedy's plan to dismantle the Federal Reserve machine had begun.
But six months later, John F. Kennedy went to Dallas and never returned.
[Pile] No way. No way they can do that.
[Hartman] The new president, Lyndon Johnson, threw out Kennedy's order.
And since JFK, no president has dared confront the secret powers behind the Federal Reserve.
They consolidate bigger and bigger banks, print more and more money, accountable to no one,
decimating our nation's wealth for the benefit of a few. (For Sale - Sorry we're closed)
[Pile] Why? Why do this? If they hurt us it hurts the global bankers too.
[Hartman] No, Pile, they are protected! They are too big to fail.
[Pile] But I'm not. Those sons of bitches!
[Hartman] Mmm, sons of bitches all.
[Wind blowing]
[Hartman(?)] The day was cold, the wind sharp and strong, but we were determined.
The bankers and their parasites had us vastly outnumbered, but their hubris made them weak.
Not like us, not like this band of immortals we have assembled.
We have come to take back our... (If lost call Hartman)
[Pile] Hartman, is that...?
[Hartman] My dog.
[Pile] Oh, sh...
[Hartman?] Then the inevitable. The money kings could ignore us no longer.
They sent an emissary, a cog in the machine of greed, to bring about our submission:
Hank Paulson.
[Paulson (?)] Hartman, this is blasphemy. We own the corners of the earth. It is futile to challenge us.
Oh, I've seen that look before, that of a predator taking in the scent of its prey:
bold, fearless, the look of a free man.
[Paulson (?)]You have come far, Hartman, farther than most.
Be smart now; join us. We will bring you money, power, everything you want.
You can be one of us if you will kneel.
[Woman singing wordlessly...]
[Paulson] Madman! You're a madman! We're offering you everything!
What do you think this is?
[Hartman] This...is...America!
(The End)
(He who sacrifices freedom for security deserves neither. Ben Franklin)
(Written and directed by Tad Lumkind and Harold Uhl)
(Produced by Tad Lumpkin)
(Executive producer John Stagliano)
(Animation services by Six Point Harness)
(Sound design Onnalee Blank)
(Music by Tom Hiel}
(Starring Jess Harnell)
(DC Doughus (?))
(??????)
(The Provocateur Network Presents)
(The American Dream)
(www.theamericandreamfilm.com)