If you're still struggling with consent,
just imagine instead of initiating sex,
you're making them a cup of tea.
You say: "Hey, would you like a cup of tea?"
and they go: "Oh my god, yes!
I would fucking love a cup of tea!"
Then you know they want a cup of tea.
If you say: "Would you like a cup of tea?"
And they're like: "I'm not really sure."
Then you could make them a cup of tea,
or not, but be aware:
They might not drink it.
And if they don't drink it, then -
- and this is the important part -
- don't make them drink it.
Just because you made it doesn't mean
you're entitled to watch them drink it.
And if they say "no, thank you."
then don't make them tea, at all.
Just don't make them tea.
Don't make them drink tea,
don't get annoyed at them
for not wanting tea,
they just don't want tea, ok?
They might say: "Yes please,
That's kind of you"
And then when the tea arrives,
they actually don't want the tea at all.
Sure that's kind of annyoing as you've
gone all the effort of making the tea,
but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea.
They did want tea, now they don't.
Some people change their mind in the time
it takes to boil the kettle, brew the tea
and add the milk.
And it's ok for people to change their mind
and you are still not entitled to watch
them drink it.
And if they're unconscious, don't make them tea.
Unconscious people don't want tea and they
can't answer the question "do you want tea?"
because they're unconscious.
Ok, maybe they were conscious when you
asked them if they wanted tea and they
said yes, but in the time it took you to
boil the kettle, brew the tea and
add the milk, they are now unconscious.
You should just put the tea down,
make sure the unconscious person is safe.
And this is the important part again:
Don't make them drink the tea!
They said yes then, but unconscious people
don't want tea.
If someone said yes to tea, started
drinking it and then passed out
before they finished it, don't keep on
pouring it down their throat.
Take the tea away, make sure they're safe.
Because unconscious people don't want tea, trust me.
If someone said yes to tea around your
house last saturday, that doesn't mean they want
you to make them tea all the time.
They don't want you to come around at their
place unexpectedly and make them tea,
force them to drink it, going:
"But you wanted tea last week"
Or to wake up to find you pouring
tea down their throat, going:
"But you wanted tea last night"
If you can understand how completely
ludicrous it is to force people to have
tea when they don't want tea, and
you're able to understand when people
don't want tea, then how hard is it to
understand when it comes to sex?
Wether it's tea or sex,
consent is everything.
And on that note, I'm going to go
make myself a cup of tea.