[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.58,0:00:12.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me ask you something.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.60,0:00:15.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have you ever been in a situation
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.72,0:00:18.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where you've asked yourself\Nthe following question:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.40,0:00:26.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is this person, is this person\Nflirting with me?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.47,0:00:30.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Picture the scene:\Nyou're at a friend's party.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.44,0:00:32.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You sashay into the kitchen
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.59,0:00:34.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we all know\Nthat's where the fun is.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.43,0:00:37.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you see an attractive stranger
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.01,0:00:40.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,getting a drink refill from a box of wine.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.08,0:00:43.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your friend's a student.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.48,0:00:46.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so you get a drink refill,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.51,0:00:50.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you say something hilarious\Nto the attractive stranger.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.62,0:00:52.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Attractive stranger laughs.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.17,0:00:53.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Good for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.76,0:00:55.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then for the next few minutes
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.48,0:00:58.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's some eye contact, more talking.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.83,0:01:00.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But then after a few minutes
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.90,0:01:04.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you start thinking,\N'Is this person flirting with me?'
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.68,0:01:07.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sound familiar, anyone?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.13,0:01:12.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See the person sitting next to you,\Nit's happened to them.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.78,0:01:15.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The person in front of you,\Nit's happened to them.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.96,0:01:18.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see this is a universal conundrum.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.96,0:01:20.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But no more!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.42,0:01:22.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because in the next ten minutes
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.22,0:01:25.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to tell you\Nthe signs of flirting
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.10,0:01:29.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and never again will you wonder:\Nis this person flirting with me?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.79,0:01:32.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm Jean Smith.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.16,0:01:35.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a social anthropologist\Nwho studies flirting,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.03,0:01:38.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a flirtologist, if you will.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.11,0:01:44.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, as a flirtologist, I do research,\NI write books, I give talks.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.14,0:01:48.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I work with clients\Nboth private and corporate,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.40,0:01:52.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all with the goal of helping people\Nto become better flirts.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.15,0:01:56.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I can see some of you\Nsitting there, you're thinking,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.06,0:02:00.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Really!? Is this necessary?\NI mean teaching people how to flirt?'
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.89,0:02:02.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.16,0:02:03.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.30,0:02:04.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, it is.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.42,0:02:06.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been doing this for over a decade.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.51,0:02:07.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if the question -
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.99,0:02:10.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is this person flirting with me -\Nwas popular then,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.92,0:02:14.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's now everyone-wants-\Nto-take-it-to-prom popular
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.43,0:02:16.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because over the last decade
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.39,0:02:19.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the way that we flirt\Nhas changed dramatically.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.32,0:02:23.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People are relying more and more\Non digital ways of communicating.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.75,0:02:24.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But let's face it,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.94,0:02:27.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an emoji with its tongue sticking out,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.34,0:02:30.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's only going to get you so far.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.06,0:02:32.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At some point, you're going\Nto have to meet in person.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.32,0:02:35.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unless of course, you're a Japanese male,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.57,0:02:39.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in that case, you could go on to marry\Nyour video game girlfriend: Rinko.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.73,0:02:44.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So as part of my quest\Nto help people become better flirts,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.48,0:02:45.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did research.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.86,0:02:49.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went to the cities of London,\NNew York, Paris and Stockholm,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.60,0:02:53.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I researched the flirting behaviour\Nof its inhabitants.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.41,0:02:57.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I found there were six things\Nthat they all had in common.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.51,0:03:00.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Six ways that they could signal\Nthey were flirting
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.67,0:03:04.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and understood when someone\Nwas flirting with them.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.57,0:03:06.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I teach this as
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.18,0:03:09.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,H.O.T.-A.P.E.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.83,0:03:11.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.59,0:03:16.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the six signs - it's an acronym\Nfor the six signs of flirting.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.29,0:03:21.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what if I were to say to you:\N'You must be a parking ticket
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.18,0:03:24.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because you've got "fine"\Nwritten all over you.'
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.46,0:03:26.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Would you laugh?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.18,0:03:28.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, 'H' is for humour.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.83,0:03:32.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Raise your hand\Nif you thought my joke was funny.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.91,0:03:35.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go ahead, don't be shy.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.05,0:03:37.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,OK, everyone with their hands up,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.05,0:03:38.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would totally date you.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.97,0:03:40.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.28,0:03:42.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, if my husband\Nweren't such a control freak.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.85,0:03:45.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But anyway, if you\Ndidn't raise your hands,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.48,0:03:46.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's not a good match.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.83,0:03:49.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just not going to work between us.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.12,0:03:50.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's me, not you.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.53,0:03:53.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But this is a good thing
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.39,0:03:55.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because HOTAPE-ing people -
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.48,0:03:57.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it takes time.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.15,0:04:00.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Does anyone here\Nlike reading a good novel,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.63,0:04:03.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,watching an interesting TED talk?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.85,0:04:06.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Does anyone here like test cricket?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.72,0:04:11.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These things also take time,\Nespecially test cricket, five days?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.47,0:04:14.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is where people\Noften get it wrong
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.50,0:04:16.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they want to attract everybody.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.91,0:04:19.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But no, you just want\Nto attract those people
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.67,0:04:21.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who match with you.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.47,0:04:23.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's why humour,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.04,0:04:25.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,specifically a shared sense of humour,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.37,0:04:28.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is really important\Nfor helping you to differentiate
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.64,0:04:34.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,between your potential HOT-APEs\Nand squirrel monkeys.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.50,0:04:37.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, yeah, they're cute.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.10,0:04:39.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sure they have a great personality.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.68,0:04:42.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But at the end of the day\Nit's a squirrel monkey.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.07,0:04:43.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's no HOT-APE.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.40,0:04:47.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So 'O' is for open body language.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.26,0:04:49.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Three things to remember.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.63,0:04:52.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Number one, don't do this.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.27,0:04:55.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know some of you are guilty of this.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.36,0:04:56.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've heard it all before,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.84,0:05:00.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,oh, but I'm cold, or, this is comfortable.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.23,0:05:03.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,OK, whiny voice aside, in which instance
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.36,0:05:04.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do you want to HOT-APE me more?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.04,0:05:06.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like this?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.66,0:05:09.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or like this, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.80,0:05:11.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not HOT-APE.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.40,0:05:12.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,HOT-APE.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.49,0:05:17.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Number two: make sure your shoulders\Nare facing the person.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.98,0:05:20.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So not HOT-APE,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.01,0:05:23.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not HOT-APE, still not HOT-APE.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.78,0:05:25.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,HOT-APE.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.69,0:05:27.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not HOT-APE.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.48,0:05:29.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,HOT-APE.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.03,0:05:32.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, the third,\Nthis is the most important,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.72,0:05:34.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm only telling you guys.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.73,0:05:36.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is a really good one.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.62,0:05:38.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To see if someone's interested,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.46,0:05:41.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,look at the direction\Nin which their feet are pointing.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.09,0:05:44.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if their feet\Nare pointing at you, a good sign.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.33,0:05:46.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If they're kind of out to the side,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.52,0:05:49.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it means they're planning\Ntheir escape route.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.36,0:05:52.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The further away our limbs\Nare from our brain,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.71,0:05:56.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the harder it is for us to control them.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.97,0:05:59.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, Shakira, I know you say:\Nthe hips don't lie,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.09,0:06:03.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the flirtologist is here\Nto say the feet don't lie.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.05,0:06:07.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'T' is for touch.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.71,0:06:13.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like humour, touch also has a positive\Nphysiological response on our body.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.70,0:06:17.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now as a general rule, shoulder -\Nit's a safe place to touch.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.75,0:06:22.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But as you go down the arm\Ntowards the hands,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.14,0:06:24.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the touch gets more intimate.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.22,0:06:28.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's why I recommend everyone\Nshould kind of tap the hand
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.13,0:06:29.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and say something like:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.100,0:06:31.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Oh, you're so funny',
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.42,0:06:33.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people seem to love that stuff.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.55,0:06:39.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, another place\Nthat would be nice to touch
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.36,0:06:40.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would be just here
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.70,0:06:43.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at the top of the back\Nbetween the shoulder blades,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.14,0:06:46.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,perhaps if you're passing by,\Nyou can give a light touch.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.100,0:06:49.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, of all of the flirting signs,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.53,0:06:53.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people seem to be wariest\Nabout using touch.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.71,0:06:55.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As one of my clients said,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.73,0:06:58.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Well, the other signs\Nyou can get away with.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.09,0:07:00.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But when it comes to touch,\Nyou're culpable.'
Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.85,0:07:04.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But touch can get you\Nout of the friend zone,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.94,0:07:07.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it can also show someone\Nthat you're interested.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.94,0:07:09.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as long as you remember,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.45,0:07:10.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I like test cricket,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.85,0:07:12.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it lasts five days,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.05,0:07:14.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't have time\Nto HOT-APE with everyone,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:14.36,0:07:17.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then if the person\Ndoesn't respond positively,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.42,0:07:19.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can try someone else.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.82,0:07:22.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'A' is for attention.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.86,0:07:25.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This one might seem obvious.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.37,0:07:29.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The more attention someone is paying you,\Nthe more they like you.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.07,0:07:31.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the problem is\Nonce you are in the interaction,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.88,0:07:34.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's really hard to be objective.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.52,0:07:37.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which is why in anthropology,\Nwe have a methodology,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.50,0:07:39.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's called participant observation.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.47,0:07:42.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think this could be a really\Nuseful tool for you to use in flirting.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.05,0:07:47.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It means that you're participating,\Nyou're in the interaction,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.31,0:07:49.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you're not so in it\Nthat you can't observe.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.81,0:07:53.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if you were to, for example,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.10,0:07:56.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,touch and say something\Nand see the other person blushed,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.57,0:07:59.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it means that you're not so self-conscious
Dialogue: 0,0:07:59.19,0:08:03.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you can't observe the effect\Nthat you're having on the other person.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.14,0:08:06.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that my friends\Nis when the flirting gets really fun.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.01,0:08:09.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'P' is for proximity.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:11.08,0:08:13.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now proximity was used in two ways.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.49,0:08:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first, if you see someone\Nacross the room
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.02,0:08:19.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then all of a sudden\Nthey're next to your side,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.49,0:08:21.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is not a coincidence.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.80,0:08:25.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It means they like what they see\Nand they must explore further.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.96,0:08:27.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The other way proximity was used
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.78,0:08:30.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is when you're actually\Nin the interaction,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.14,0:08:32.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they're standing closer than usual.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.40,0:08:34.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if you're attracted, great.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.06,0:08:37.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're not, they're in your space.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.16,0:08:42.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the last of the flirting signs\Nis the most important.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.14,0:08:45.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can anyone guess what it is?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.48,0:08:47.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.73,0:08:49.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's eye contact.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.28,0:08:51.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This was the number one way
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.17,0:08:54.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that people could understand someone\Nwho's flirting with them
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.30,0:08:58.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the difference\Nbetween friendly and flirting.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.64,0:09:02.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So in flirting eye-contact\Nthe gaze happened more often.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.15,0:09:05.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was held for a longer amount of time,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:05.45,0:09:07.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it was more intense.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.09,0:09:10.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So using these signs:
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.76,0:09:15.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,humour, open body language, touch,\Nattention, proximity, eye contact,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.85,0:09:18.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can recognize\Nwhen someone is flirting with you.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.44,0:09:21.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as a general rule,\Nthe more signs the better.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.20,0:09:25.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now my favourite story of HOT-APE\Nbeing used in the field
Dialogue: 0,0:09:25.33,0:09:27.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was relayed to me by one of my clients.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.100,0:09:30.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She had shared HOT-APE\Nwith all of her friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.59,0:09:33.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And one night, they went out\NHOTAPE-ing guys.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.91,0:09:38.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of her friends was making\Neye contact with a guy at the bar,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.17,0:09:40.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she went over and spoke with him.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.40,0:09:42.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She came back a few minutes later,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:42.87,0:09:45.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bit dejected, my client said,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.36,0:09:49.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'What happened? What happened?'\NAnd she's like, 'Oh nothing.'
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.40,0:09:52.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Well, did you HOT-APE him?'\NShe's like, 'Yeah, yeah.'
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.59,0:09:54.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then they started\Ngoing through the sides:
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.83,0:09:57.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Did you use humour?'\NShe's like 'Yeah, yeah.'
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.08,0:10:00.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'What about open body language?\NYou didn't do this like you usually do?'
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.58,0:10:01.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'No, no.'
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.79,0:10:05.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'What about touch?\NDid you touch him? Back, hand.'
Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.35,0:10:08.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Uh, God, I didn't use touch.'
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.14,0:10:11.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then they started laughing,\Nlike, 'Well, no wonder.'
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.91,0:10:15.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what normally could have been\Na situation of dejection
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.85,0:10:17.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or, you know, feeling bad,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.82,0:10:20.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it just turned into a fun game.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.95,0:10:23.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is the power of HOTAPE
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.25,0:10:26.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it turns flirting\Ninto what it should be.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.19,0:10:29.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's something fun, easy,\Nit's not a big deal.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.47,0:10:32.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when we think\Nabout flirting like this,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.74,0:10:35.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it totally changes\Nour paradigm of rejection.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.31,0:10:41.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And in situations where we're often\Nfeeling self-conscious or a bit nervous,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.36,0:10:44.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have scientific tools\Nto help us remember what to do.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.02,0:10:47.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And finally,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:47.37,0:10:49.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it makes it's not about us,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.81,0:10:52.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's a checklist; it's a task.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.54,0:10:57.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's things to do rather than\Nhow we often see flirting
Dialogue: 0,0:10:57.05,0:11:00.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is a stranger's\Nevaluation of our worth.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.81,0:11:04.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So now you know the signs of flirting,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.58,0:11:09.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I encourage you to not just\Nrecognize but be proactive,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.79,0:11:14.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because these signs also use\Nfor you to express interest.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.30,0:11:16.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is my challenge to you:
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.55,0:11:22.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,forget about the game,\Nforget about the rules,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.34,0:11:24.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be genuine.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.18,0:11:27.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Take action and go HOTAPE someone.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.08,0:11:30.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.26,0:11:32.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.07,0:11:33.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.