WEBVTT 00:00:00.768 --> 00:00:15.136 "Mom! Mom, come here! Mom they're going to make me into a plushine! Mom I don't wanna be a plushine! Mom I don't wanna be a plushine, please! Please! Please mom come here!" 00:00:16.759 --> 00:00:20.365 It's the problem with plushines that nobody likes to talk about 00:00:20.365 --> 00:00:23.026 They won't sit up straight, and tumble all over the place 00:00:23.726 --> 00:00:25.544 They burn when you touch them 00:00:25.544 --> 00:00:27.235 And they're just not real... 00:00:27.235 --> 00:00:27.881 (What do you mean?) And they're just not real... 00:00:27.881 --> 00:00:29.063 (What do you mean?) They're not human... 00:00:29.063 --> 00:00:30.335 (OP what do you mean?) They're not human... 00:00:30.335 --> 00:00:33.066 And for all the nonsense, you've wasted hundreds of dollars 00:00:33.556 --> 00:00:36.789 "It's just not fair... it's just not fair..." - Very sad customer 00:00:36.789 --> 00:00:39.815 "There are consequences to your actions" - Very upset and dissatisfied customer 00:00:39.815 --> 00:00:47.582 "My children are dead, and My plush won't sit up straight. I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!" - Very displeased, unsettled, and quite honestly, horrified customer 00:00:47.582 --> 00:00:50.744 Don't be like these disgraces upon God's name 00:00:50.744 --> 00:00:56.162 instead, make the newest companion to your collection Team 666- hmmm... 00:00:56.769 --> 00:00:59.367 Team six-ex-one-one-one- 00:01:00.332 --> 00:01:02.966 Team six one hundred-and-eleven? 00:01:04.001 --> 00:01:04.534 Team- 00:01:05.000 --> 00:01:05.684 Team- 00:01:06.284 --> 00:01:08.301 Your very own Tamari! 00:01:08.301 --> 00:01:10.184 Tamari 00:01:10.184 --> 00:01:14.135 THEY: SIT, BATHE, DETECT EXPLOSIVES 00:01:14.135 --> 00:01:16.909 Tamari can do it all for the low low price of: 00:01:16.909 --> 00:01:18.567 $27.99USD 00:01:18.567 --> 00:01:21.883 They can detend your home with their Tamari-sized handgun! 00:01:21.883 --> 00:01:25.035 (Clay Tamari not included) "Look how tiny it is! That sure is me!" 00:01:25.035 --> 00:01:26.484 That sure is you! 00:01:26.484 --> 00:01:34.551 "Oh, I just love them! What a precious little one... It's-a-me, Mario!" - Very pleased customer 00:01:34.551 --> 00:01:38.801 "Tamari successfully electrocuted my wife! Amazing!" - Very happy and enlightened customer 00:01:38.801 --> 00:01:42.951 Tamari loves going to Menards. Why don't we have a look? 00:01:42.951 --> 00:01:44.867 I wish I knew my father... 00:01:44.867 --> 00:01:47.034 I fucking love Menards! 00:01:47.034 --> 00:01:49.783 Tamari thoughly enjoys their confields 00:01:49.783 --> 00:01:51.330 Up, up, up they go! 00:01:52.650 --> 00:01:55.539 Tamari comes in five unique sizes and shapes 00:01:55.539 --> 00:01:56.959 THIS IS A LIE YOU HAVE BEEN DECEIVED 00:01:56.959 --> 00:02:00.089 You can have hours of fun, AND play, with Tamari! 00:02:00.089 --> 00:02:08.529 Heh, well...what can i say about the Tamari plush That hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone? 00:02:08.529 --> 00:02:13.396 (Ibuprofen and Diet Pepsi not included) Hey there, little buddy! Do you perhaps have some ibuprofen, or a Diet Coke? 00:02:13.396 --> 00:02:21.263 "Tamari is the perfect companion at my family's funeral! Please take them home with you, I'm begging!" - This customer gave the Tamari plush Companion a five star rating 00:02:21.263 --> 00:02:24.013 "Always let Tamari drive the car!" - Our favorite customer 00:02:24.013 --> 00:02:30.612 "Tamaru produced a song on my own, my very own, computer! Would you like to have a look?" - Our least favorite customer 00:02:30.612 --> 00:02:40.979 [Janky-ass music] 00:02:40.979 --> 00:02:44.379 Tamari has nightmares, and would love to be your newest friend 00:02:44.379 --> 00:02:46.729 but how do I let them in my house? 00:02:46.729 --> 00:02:55.097 On November 22, Makeship will host a purchashing page for the Tamari plush, priced at $27.99 00:02:55.097 --> 00:03:00.396 From there, a minimum number of orders will be needed in order for Tamari to be given life 00:03:00.396 --> 00:03:08.507 If this number is not met, buyers will receive a full refund for their purchase, an the Tamaru plush will be unable to breathe their first breath 00:03:08.507 --> 00:03:14.612 However, if this number is met, anyone who placed and order will receive their very own Tamari plush companion 00:03:14.612 --> 00:03:18.712 Those interested will have 21 days to decide Tamari's fate 00:03:18.712 --> 00:03:22.645 The Tamari Plush Companion Friend is a one-tine thing 00:03:22.645 --> 00:03:26.562 Once the campaign ends, the Tamari Plush won't be for sale again 00:03:26.562 --> 00:03:27.579 That's right! 00:03:27.579 --> 00:03:34.095 Remember, minimum number of orders are needed by 21 days so that Tamari can get more Mike & Ikes 00:03:34.095 --> 00:03:37.528 So that Tamari can go to the football game, and be there too! 00:03:37.528 --> 00:03:42.213 For just one payment of 27.99, Tamari plush can be your friend 00:03:42.213 --> 00:03:46.013 Here, have some more gleaming reviews from our loyal customers! 00:03:46.013 --> 00:03:51.078 "You're probably wondering, what does this have to do with my arts and my crafts?" - Gus 00:03:51.078 --> 00:04:00.529 "Far below the waterline, the air was cold and rough. I gulped the icy wind, and then plunged beneath the dark waters." - A close friend 00:04:00.529 --> 00:04:13.694 "My son loves his Tamari Plush. Every night, when I read bedtime stories to him, he cuddles his Tamari Plush and looks up at me with pleading eyes." - Susan 00:04:13.694 --> 00:04:19.044 "Seriously though, can anyone make a slightly less contorted Tamaranoid than this guy?" - Color me Impressed! 00:04:19.044 --> 00:04:25.577 "Oh man...words cannot describe what happend to me." - A customer who was rendered through VOCALOID6 AI Megpoid's Vocalo Changer feature 00:04:25.577 --> 00:04:33.843 "Yes, I love this product! I love it so much, I give it a hug every night before I go to bed! Make sure to give the plushie lots of hugs! Every day! 00:04:33.843 --> 00:04:42.977 And make sure to call it a good little boy who you're proud of! Please! It's a requirement! treat it kindly! I'm begging of you! (Iraqi)!" - Tamari did not submit this review 00:04:42.977 --> 00:05:00.643 "If I am to consume the meat of creature distant and unknown...Then where should i find my family? my friends? everything?" - you 00:05:00.643 --> 00:05:07.342 "I am glad i have the tamari plush so i can collect the little green bug next. this plush also comes with a tag. nice touch!" - littlegreenbugfan82 00:05:07.342 --> 00:05:14.410 "where are you? where are you now? WHERE ARE YOU NOW?!" - Alex 00:05:14.410 --> 00:05:25.726 "now you're wondering if the tamari plush is tame...um...what? is that an actual plush we're looking at?! we aren't able to open our jaws..." - A customer who has time 00:05:25.726 --> 00:05:29.392 "wow. i love tamari plush. and the tamari plush loves me! 00:05:29.392 --> 00:05:36.342 every night, the tamari plush and i giggle softly together like two silly girls. you should hang out with the tamari plush and i sometime. 00:05:36.342 --> 00:05:45.377 sometimes the night just takes over and it just becomes one big string of giggles! oh man, it is so good to be alive and sometimes we all take it for granted." - Anonumous Redditor 00:05:45.377 --> 00:05:54.501 "Finally, a plush to achive the magic feat of being human." 00:05:54.501 --> 00:05:59.708 "Finally, a plush to achive the magic feat of being human." flashing warning incoming 00:05:59.708 --> 00:06:25.925 (Human not included) "Finally, a plush to achive the magic feat of being human." 00:06:29.561 --> 00:06:36.759 Subtitled by Marlin Siragi