[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.77,0:00:15.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Mom! Mom, come here! Mom they're going to make me into a plushine! Mom I don't wanna be a plushine! Mom I don't wanna be a plushine, please! Please! Please mom come here!"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.76,0:00:20.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the problem with plushines that nobody likes to talk about
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.36,0:00:23.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They won't sit up straight, and tumble all over the place
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.73,0:00:25.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They burn when you touch them
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.54,0:00:27.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they're just not real...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.24,0:00:27.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(What do you mean?)\NAnd they're just not real...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.88,0:00:29.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(What do you mean?)\NThey're not human...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.06,0:00:30.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(OP what do you mean?)\NThey're not human...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.34,0:00:33.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And for all the nonsense, you've wasted hundreds of dollars
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.56,0:00:36.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It's just not fair... it's just not fair..."\N- Very sad customer
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.79,0:00:39.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"There are consequences to your actions"\N- Very upset and dissatisfied customer
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.82,0:00:47.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"My children are dead, and My plush won't sit up straight. I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!"\N- Very displeased, unsettled, and quite honestly, horrified customer
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.58,0:00:50.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't be like these disgraces upon God's name
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.74,0:00:56.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead, make the newest companion to your collection Team 666- hmmm...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.77,0:00:59.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Team six-ex-one-one-one-
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.33,0:01:02.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Team six one hundred-and-eleven?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.00,0:01:04.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Team-
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.00,0:01:05.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Team-
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.28,0:01:08.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your very own Tamari!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.30,0:01:10.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tamari
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.18,0:01:14.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,THEY: SIT, BATHE, DETECT EXPLOSIVES
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.14,0:01:16.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tamari can do it all for the low low price of:
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.91,0:01:18.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,$27.99USD
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.57,0:01:21.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They can detend your home with their Tamari-sized handgun!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.88,0:01:25.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Clay Tamari not included)\N"Look how tiny it is! That sure is me!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.04,0:01:26.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That sure is you!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.48,0:01:34.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, I just love them! What a precious little one... It's-a-me, Mario!"\N- Very pleased customer
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.55,0:01:38.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Tamari successfully electrocuted my wife! Amazing!"\N- Very happy and enlightened customer
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.80,0:01:42.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tamari loves going to Menards. Why don't we have a look?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.95,0:01:44.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wish I knew my father...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.87,0:01:47.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I fucking love Menards!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.03,0:01:49.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tamari thoughly enjoys their confields
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.78,0:01:51.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Up, up, up they go!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.65,0:01:55.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tamari comes in five unique sizes and shapes
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.54,0:01:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,THIS IS A LIE\NYOU HAVE BEEN DECEIVED
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.96,0:02:00.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can have hours of fun, AND play, with Tamari!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.09,0:02:08.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Heh, well...what can i say about the Tamari plush That hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.53,0:02:13.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Ibuprofen and Diet Pepsi not included)\NHey there, little buddy! Do you perhaps have some ibuprofen, or a Diet Coke?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.40,0:02:21.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Tamari is the perfect companion at my family's funeral! Please take them home with you, I'm begging!"\N- This customer gave the Tamari plush Companion a five star rating
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.26,0:02:24.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Always let Tamari drive the car!"\N- Our favorite customer
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.01,0:02:30.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Tamaru produced a song on my own, my very own, computer! Would you like to have a look?"\N- Our least favorite customer
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.61,0:02:40.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Janky-ass music]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.98,0:02:44.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tamari has nightmares, and would love to be your newest friend
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.38,0:02:46.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but how do I let them in my house?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.73,0:02:55.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On November 22, Makeship will host a purchashing page for the Tamari plush, priced at $27.99
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.10,0:03:00.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From there, a minimum number of orders will be needed in order for Tamari to be given life
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.40,0:03:08.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If this number is not met, buyers will receive a full refund for their purchase, an the Tamaru plush will be unable to breathe their first breath
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.51,0:03:14.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,However, if this number is met, anyone who placed and order will receive their very own Tamari plush companion
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.61,0:03:18.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those interested will have 21 days to decide Tamari's fate
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.71,0:03:22.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Tamari Plush Companion Friend is a one-tine thing
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.64,0:03:26.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once the campaign ends, the Tamari Plush won't be for sale again
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.56,0:03:27.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's right!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.58,0:03:34.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember, minimum number of orders are needed by 21 days so that Tamari can get more Mike & Ikes
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.10,0:03:37.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that Tamari can go to the football game, and be there too!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.53,0:03:42.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For just one payment of 27.99, Tamari plush can be your friend
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.21,0:03:46.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here, have some more gleaming reviews from our loyal customers!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.01,0:03:51.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You're probably wondering, what does this have to do with my arts and my crafts?"\N- Gus
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.08,0:04:00.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Far below the waterline, the air was cold and rough. I gulped the icy wind, and then plunged beneath the dark waters."\N- A close friend
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.53,0:04:13.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"My son loves his Tamari Plush. Every night, when I read bedtime stories to him, he cuddles his Tamari Plush and looks up at me with pleading eyes."\N- Susan
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.69,0:04:19.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Seriously though, can anyone make a slightly less contorted Tamaranoid than this guy?"\N- Color me Impressed!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.04,0:04:25.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh man...words cannot describe what happend to me."\N- A customer who was rendered through VOCALOID6 AI Megpoid's Vocalo Changer feature
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.58,0:04:33.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yes, I love this product! I love it so much, I give it a hug every night before I go to bed! Make sure to give the plushie lots of hugs! Every day!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.84,0:04:42.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And make sure to call it a good little boy who you're proud of! Please! It's a requirement! treat it kindly! I'm begging of you! (Iraqi)!"\N- Tamari did not submit this review
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.98,0:05:00.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"If I am to consume the meat of creature distant and unknown...Then where should i find my family? my friends? everything?"\N- you
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.64,0:05:07.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I am glad i have the tamari plush so i can collect the little green bug next. this plush also comes with a tag. nice touch!"\N- littlegreenbugfan82
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.34,0:05:14.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"where are you? where are you now? WHERE ARE YOU NOW?!"\N- Alex
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.41,0:05:25.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"now you're wondering if the tamari plush is tame...um...what? is that an actual plush we're looking at?! we aren't able to open our jaws..."\N- A customer who has time
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.73,0:05:29.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"wow. i love tamari plush. and the tamari plush loves me!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.39,0:05:36.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every night, the tamari plush and i giggle softly together like two silly girls. you should hang out with the tamari plush and i sometime.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.34,0:05:45.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sometimes the night just takes over and it just becomes one big string of giggles! oh man, it is so good to be alive and sometimes we all take it for granted."\N- Anonumous Redditor
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.38,0:05:54.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Finally, a plush to achive the magic feat of being human."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.50,0:05:59.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Finally, a plush to achive the magic feat of being human."\Nflashing warning incoming
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.71,0:06:25.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Human not included)\N"Finally, a plush to achive the magic feat of being human."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.56,0:06:36.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Subtitled by Marlin Siragi