[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.22,0:00:16.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was the CEO of a large\Nreligious nonprofit,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.28,0:00:19.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the host of a national television show.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.17,0:00:21.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I preached in mega churches.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.77,0:00:28.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was a successful, well-educated,\Nwhite American male.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.94,0:00:32.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The poet and mystic Thomas Merton said,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.37,0:00:35.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It's a difficult thing to climb\Nto the top of the ladder of success
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.88,0:00:37.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,only to realize when you get there
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.96,0:00:41.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that your ladder has been leaning\Nagainst the wrong wall."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.72,0:00:43.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.42,0:00:48.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I knew from the time was three\Nor four years of age I was transgender.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.26,0:00:51.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In my naivety, I thought I got to choose.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.35,0:00:53.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought a gender fairy\Nwould arrive and say,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.55,0:00:56.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Okay, the time has come!"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.12,0:00:59.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But alas, no gender fairy arrived,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.58,0:01:01.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I just lived my life.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.45,0:01:03.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't hate being a boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.83,0:01:05.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just knew I wasn't one.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.93,0:01:10.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went to college, got married,\Nhad kids, built a career,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.01,0:01:15.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the call toward authenticity\Nhas all the subtlety of a smoke alarm.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.74,0:01:16.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.69,0:01:19.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And eventually decisions have to be made.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.68,0:01:24.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I came out as transgender\Nand I lost all of my jobs.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.00,0:01:27.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had never had a bad review,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.28,0:01:30.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I lost every single job.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.23,0:01:35.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In 21 states, you can't be fired\Nfor being transgender,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.99,0:01:37.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but in all 50,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.42,0:01:42.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can be fired if you're transgender\Nand you work for a religious corporation.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.05,0:01:44.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Good to know!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.60,0:01:46.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.76,0:01:52.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not easy being a transgender woman.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.27,0:01:56.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People sometimes ask,\N"Do you feel 100% like a woman?"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.87,0:01:59.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I say, "Well, if you've talked\Nto one transgender person,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.74,0:02:03.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you've talked to exactly one\Ntransgender person.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.27,0:02:05.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't speak for anybody else."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.00,0:02:09.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel 100% like a transgender woman.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.15,0:02:13.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are things a cisgender woman\Nknows I will never know.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.62,0:02:18.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That said, I am learning a lot\Nabout what it means to be a female,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.73,0:02:23.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I am learning a lot\Nabout my former gender.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.94,0:02:25.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.76,0:02:29.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have the unique experience\Nof having lived life on both sides -
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.34,0:02:30.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.33,0:02:35.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm here to tell you:\Nthe differences are massive.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.39,0:02:37.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.07,0:02:40.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.64,0:02:45.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I'll start with the small stuff -
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.13,0:02:47.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the pockets on women's jeans.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.64,0:02:49.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.52,0:02:50.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.75,0:02:53.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Cheers) (Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.51,0:02:56.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.72,0:02:58.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't put a phone in there.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.93,0:03:00.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.03,0:03:01.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Paper clip, maybe.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.81,0:03:03.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.64,0:03:07.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or the sizing of women's clothing.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.41,0:03:10.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do the numbers mean anything?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.68,0:03:12.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.38,0:03:14.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is a double zero?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.52,0:03:16.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.11,0:03:18.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And ladies, I doubt\Nyou've thought about this,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.27,0:03:22.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but do you know there is never\Na time in the life of a male
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.34,0:03:24.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that he has to worry about whether or not
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.53,0:03:29.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an article of his clothing is accidentally\Ngoing to drop into the toilet?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.53,0:03:32.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not a long sweater, not a belt, nothing.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.21,0:03:34.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Never even a passing thought.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.66,0:03:36.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.32,0:03:45.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I get my hair cut\Nabout half as often as I used to,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.76,0:03:47.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it costs tens times as much.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.92,0:03:49.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.04,0:03:52.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I can go on vacation\Nor I can get my hair cut.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.48,0:03:53.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I cannot do both.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.95,0:03:55.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.89,0:04:00.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I keep bumping into gender\Ndifferences everywhere I go!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.16,0:04:02.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes literally.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.12,0:04:05.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm walking down the hallway\Nand I just bump into it.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.12,0:04:08.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's nothing in the way,\Nand I just bump into it.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.07,0:04:09.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think, "What's that about?"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.47,0:04:11.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I know it's going to leave a bruise
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.47,0:04:17.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because now that my skin is thinner\NI have bruises absolutely everywhere.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.36,0:04:23.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How I experience my sexuality\Nis profoundly different.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.64,0:04:27.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's less visual and more holistic;
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.12,0:04:33.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,less of a body experience\Nand more of a being experience.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.94,0:04:38.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I cannot count the number of times\NI've said to Cathy, my former wife,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.32,0:04:40.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I am so, so sorry!"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.39,0:04:41.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.75,0:04:45.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just didn't know what I didn't know.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.61,0:04:50.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is no way a well-educated\Nwhite male can understand
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.74,0:04:53.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how much the culture\Nis tilted in his favor.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.26,0:04:58.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's no way he can understand it\Nbecause it's all he's ever known,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.90,0:05:01.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all he ever will know.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.52,0:05:03.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And conversely,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.13,0:05:07.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's no way that a woman\Ncan understand the full import of that
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.04,0:05:10.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because being a female\Nis all she's ever known.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.45,0:05:14.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She might have an inkling that she's\Nworking twice as hard for half as much,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.51,0:05:17.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but she has no idea
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.35,0:05:21.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how much harder it is for her than it is\Nfor the guy in the Brooks Brothers jacket
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.71,0:05:23.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the office across the hall.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.15,0:05:27.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know! I was that guy!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.77,0:05:30.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I thought I was one of the good guys,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.51,0:05:32.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sensitive to women,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.80,0:05:34.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,egalitarian.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.02,0:05:37.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then came the first time\NI ever flew as a female.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.25,0:05:42.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I've flown over 2.3 million miles\Nwith American Airlines.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.21,0:05:44.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know my way around an airplane.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.25,0:05:46.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And American was great\Nthrough my transition,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.38,0:05:49.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that does not mean\Ntheir passengers were.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.66,0:05:54.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first time I flew as Paula,\NI was going from Denver to Charlotte,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.23,0:05:56.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I got on the plane\Nand there was stuff in my seat.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.76,0:06:01.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I picked it up to put my stuff down,\Nand a guy said, "That's my stuff."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.66,0:06:04.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "Okay, but it's in my seat.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.85,0:06:07.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I'll just hold it for you\Nuntil you find your seat,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.68,0:06:09.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then I'll give it to you."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.11,0:06:12.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, "Lady, that is my seat!"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.02,0:06:14.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "Actually, it's not.\NIt's my seat."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.93,0:06:15.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.96,0:06:17.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"1D, 1D.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.82,0:06:21.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'll be glad to hold your stuff\Nuntil you find your seat."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.58,0:06:24.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, "What do I have\Nto tell you? That is my seat!"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.24,0:06:26.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "Yeah, it's not."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.08,0:06:28.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.18,0:06:30.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At which point the guy behind me said,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.07,0:06:33.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Lady, would you take\Nyour effing argument elsewhere
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.01,0:06:35.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I can get in the airplane?"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.03,0:06:39.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was absolutely stunned!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.46,0:06:43.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had never been treated\Nlike that as a male.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.13,0:06:45.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would have said,\N"I believe that's my seat,"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.30,0:06:48.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the guy immediately\Nwould have looked at his boarding pass
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.26,0:06:49.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and said, "Oh, I'm sorry."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.64,0:06:53.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know that because\Nit happened all the time!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.38,0:06:57.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The flight attendant\Ntook our boarding passes.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.05,0:07:00.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said to the guy,\N"Sir, you're in 1C. She's in 1D."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.86,0:07:04.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I put his stuff down in 1C,\Nhe said not one single word,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.38,0:07:07.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and of course you know\Nwho was next to me in 1F.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.16,0:07:08.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter).
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.13,0:07:11.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mister "would you take\Nyour effing argument elsewhere."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.16,0:07:12.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.24,0:07:14.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, my friend Karen,\Nwho works for American,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:14.60,0:07:17.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,came on the plane\Nto give the pilot his paperwork.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.54,0:07:19.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She left and waved goodbye.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.59,0:07:21.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I got to Charlotte, she called me.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.81,0:07:25.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said, "Paula, what happened?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.18,0:07:27.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You were as white as a sheet!"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.34,0:07:30.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I told her and she said, "Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.46,0:07:33.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Welcome to the world of women!"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.72,0:07:35.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.47,0:07:41.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, the truth is I will not live\Nlong enough to lose my male privilege.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.70,0:07:44.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I brought it with me when I transitioned.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.83,0:07:46.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.32,0:07:49.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A lot of decades of being a man.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.66,0:07:53.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that doesn't mean\NI don't see my power diminishing.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.40,0:07:55.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me tell you\Nanother thing I've observed.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.73,0:08:00.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Apparently, since I became a female,\NI have become stupid.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.58,0:08:02.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.15,0:08:09.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, I guess it's the loss of\Ntestosterone and the arrival of estrogen
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.85,0:08:12.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that has caused me to lose the brain cells
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.34,0:08:15.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,necessary to be a fully\Nfunctioning adult human.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.75,0:08:17.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.48,0:08:20.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Either that or I'm as smart as I ever was,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.74,0:08:25.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's just now I'm constantly\Nbeing subjected to mansplaining.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.60,0:08:27.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.98,0:08:30.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.10,0:08:37.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I was in my local Denver bike shop\Nand a young summer employee said,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.01,0:08:38.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Can I help?"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.24,0:08:40.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I said, "Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.06,0:08:43.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can the frame of an older\NGary Fisher mountain bike
Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.44,0:08:47.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,start to flex and bend enough\Nthat it causes the rear break to rub?"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.48,0:08:50.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, "Well, disk breaks\Nneed regular adjustments."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.02,0:08:53.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "I know that,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.76,0:08:57.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in fact I do\Nmy reg break adjustments."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.61,0:09:00.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, "Oh, well,\Nthen your rotor's bent."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.36,0:09:03.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "Yeah, my rotor is not bent.\NI know a bent rotor."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.65,0:09:07.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With condescension, he said,\N"Well, what do you want me to do?"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.00,0:09:11.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "You could answer my question."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.04,0:09:12.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.34,0:09:15.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At which point Kyle, the manager\Nof the shop, stepped in.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.14,0:09:16.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's such a sweetheart.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.50,0:09:19.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, "I think you're probably right.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.01,0:09:20.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me ask you a question:
Dialogue: 0,0:09:20.70,0:09:23.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you only get a chirp coming\Nfrom that rear break
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.52,0:09:25.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you're pulling hard uphill?"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:25.17,0:09:26.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "Yes, exactly!"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.93,0:09:29.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, "Yeah, that's frame fatigue."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.86,0:09:34.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanted to fall at the feet of Kyle\Nand call him blessed!
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.07,0:09:35.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.31,0:09:38.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Someone was taking me seriously!
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.45,0:09:40.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This happens all the time now.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.51,0:09:43.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have to go three\Nor four rounds with someone
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.30,0:09:45.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before I get a direct answer!
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.90,0:09:47.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there's a deeper issue:
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.22,0:09:51.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more you're treated as if\Nyou don't know what you're talking about,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.90,0:09:53.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more you begin to question
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.36,0:09:58.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whether or not you do in fact\Nknow what you're talking about, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:58.44,0:10:00.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.04,0:10:07.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I understand the woman's tendency\Nto doubt herself.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.50,0:10:10.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you ever notice if a woman\Nis in a meeting with a group of men,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.65,0:10:12.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she knows she's right,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.19,0:10:14.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she apologizes for it?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:14.45,0:10:17.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She says, "I'm sorry,\Nbut I don't think those numbers add up."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.68,0:10:21.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, you don't have\Nto apologize for being right.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.27,0:10:24.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Cheers) (Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:28.59,0:10:32.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Since I'm new to this gender,\NI asked my good friend Jen.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.02,0:10:35.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "What are women\Nlooking for in men?"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.34,0:10:40.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said, "Women are looking for men\Nwho will honor our uniqueness,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.08,0:10:43.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who will realize our gifting\Nis not lesser, it's not weaker,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.14,0:10:44.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's just different,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:44.18,0:10:48.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is in fact more comprehensive\Nand it's essential."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.18,0:10:52.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, of course there are men\Nwho do honor women, lots of them,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.80,0:10:55.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like my good friend\Nand fellow pastor, Mark,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.45,0:10:58.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who always draws out the best in me
Dialogue: 0,0:10:58.61,0:11:02.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then seems to take pleasure\Nin watching me lead.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.02,0:11:03.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We need more men like Mark,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.86,0:11:07.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who are willing to honor\Nand empower women.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.64,0:11:12.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know I'm going to keep bumping into\Nadditional differences on this journey,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.32,0:11:15.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but let me leave you with this.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:15.08,0:11:18.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To the women, I offer my heartfelt thanks.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.31,0:11:22.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I often feel like an interloper,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.22,0:11:27.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a late arrival to the serious\Nwork of womanhood,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.99,0:11:31.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you show me grace and great mercy.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.13,0:11:36.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to know you are\Nfar more capable than you realize,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.66,0:11:39.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you are more powerful than you know
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.56,0:11:44.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you reflect the best parts\Nof what it means to be fully human.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:45.06,0:11:46.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And to you guys
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.17,0:11:49.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who are probably feeling more than\Na little bit uncomfortable right now -
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.61,0:11:51.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.38,0:11:54.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I do understand.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:55.32,0:11:57.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I never thought I had privilege,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.42,0:11:59.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I did.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.83,0:12:04.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so do you.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.22,0:12:06.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What can you do?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:07.12,0:12:08.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can believe us
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.21,0:12:12.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when we tell you that we might,\Nwe might have equality,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.56,0:12:15.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but we do not have equity.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:15.52,0:12:19.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is not a level playing field,\Nit never has been.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.71,0:12:23.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can be a part of the solution\Nby elevating us to equal footing.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.44,0:12:26.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You uniquely have that power.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:27.59,0:12:29.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And to all of us,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.52,0:12:31.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do you know who I think about a lot?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:32.89,0:12:35.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think about my brown-skinned daughter,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:36.48,0:12:38.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and my brown-skinned daughter-in-law.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.85,0:12:41.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What do they know that I'm clueless about?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.30,0:12:46.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What do any of us really know about\Nthe shoes in which we have never walked?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:46.66,0:12:50.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's hard being a woman,\Nit's hard being a transgender woman.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.82,0:12:54.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As a man, I just didn't know\Nwhat I didn't know.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.52,0:12:56.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Would I do it all again?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:56.32,0:12:58.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of course I would,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.31,0:13:03.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the call toward authenticity\Nis sacred, it's holy,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:03.36,0:13:05.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's for the greater good.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:07.38,0:13:11.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For 45 years, my father\Nwas a fundamentalist pastor.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:12.03,0:13:14.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My mother is even more conservative -
Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.72,0:13:16.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:17.91,0:13:21.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I came out as transgender,\Nthey rejected me.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:21.29,0:13:23.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought I would never\Nspeak to them again.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.39,0:13:27.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Last January, I took a chance\Nand called my dad on his birthday,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.64,0:13:29.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he took my call.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:29.47,0:13:32.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We talked for about a half hour,\Nand about a month later,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:32.16,0:13:35.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I asked if I could come for a visit,\Nand they said yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:35.81,0:13:40.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And last spring, I had a delightfully\Nredemptive three-hour visit with them.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:40.32,0:13:42.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've met with them twice since.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.84,0:13:46.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that day, toward the end\Nof the conversation, that first day,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.26,0:13:49.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my father said a number\Nof precious things.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:50.13,0:13:52.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As I stood to go -
Dialogue: 0,0:13:54.22,0:13:55.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he said -
Dialogue: 0,0:13:55.48,0:13:57.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:14:01.21,0:14:03.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As I stood to go, he said,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.18,0:14:04.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Paula" -
Dialogue: 0,0:14:07.30,0:14:09.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He called me Paula -
Dialogue: 0,0:14:10.46,0:14:13.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.72,0:14:23.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, "Paula, I don't understand this,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:23.41,0:14:25.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I am willing to try."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:26.88,0:14:30.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My father is 93 years old,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:31.86,0:14:34.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he's willing to try.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:35.04,0:14:37.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What more could I ask?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:37.39,0:14:39.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hugged him so tightly.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:40.78,0:14:47.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One man willing to give up his power\Nbecause he knew what he knew,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.68,0:14:50.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that he loved his child,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:51.25,0:14:54.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he was willing to do\Nwhatever it takes
Dialogue: 0,0:14:54.99,0:14:58.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to honor the journey of another.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:59.27,0:15:00.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:00.56,0:15:03.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause) (Cheers)