Marble columns...
Elegant, sturdy, and bursting with class.
Nothing says I've got money and power...
like marble columns.
How do I know?
Because I've been selling marble columns to rich people
for over 10 years.
I'm talking millionaires.
You put marble columns in your house,
that place is gonna look like a mansion.
Transform your living room!
The bathroom!
Even your driveway!
How much you wanna bet the car pulling up to that driveway is a Rolls-Royce?
You gotta get yourself some marble columns.
You like eating breakfast?
How about eating breakfast in a kitchen with marble columns?
Ooh lala!
Now, that's a fancy meal!
You need a little help in the bedroom department?
Try some marble columns.
You could go in at it like the king and queen of France.
You gotta get yourself some marble columns.
You don't believe me? Just ask my daughter, Lexi.
Look at these columns.
Look at this one! Look at that one!
Can you believe it? You could stick these things everywhere.
They'll make your house look like a palace, like a castle.
People are gonna look at your house and go:
Who lives there? The pope?
What is that? The Playboy mansion?
It's ridiculous!
Imagine pulling up to your house and seeing these and going:
Oh my God! I live here!
How nuts would it be to own this one,
or that one,
or this one, or that one?
You gotta get yourself some marble columns.
The Romans had them and they didn't do too bad, right?
Hey, you know what? Take a good look at the White House.
Notice anything classy on the porch?
Columns!
So, come on down to Mike's Marbleopolis
and get yourself some columns.
Mike's Marbleopolis 2941 Central Avenue in LUNBROOK
You gotta get yourself some marble columns.