Marble columns...
Elegant, sturdy,
and bursting with class.
Nothing says
I've got money and power...
like
marble columns.
How do I know?
Because I've been selling
marble columns to rich people
for over
10 years.
I'm talking
millionaires.
You put marble columns
in your house,
that place is gonna
look like a mansion.
Transform your living room!
The bathroom!
Even your driveway!
How much you wanna bet the car
pulling up to that driveway is a Rolls-Royce?
You gotta get yourself
some marble columns.
You like eating
breakfast?
How about eating breakfast
in a kitchen with marble columns?
Ooh lala!
Now,
that's a fancy meal!
You need a little help
in the bedroom department?
Try some
marble columns.
You could go in at it
like the king and queen of France.
You gotta get yourself
some marble columns.
You don't believe me?
Just ask my daughter, Lexi.
Look at these columns.
Look at this one!
Look at that one!
Can you believe it?
You could stick these things everywhere.
They'll make your house
look like a palace, like a castle.
People are gonna
look at your house and go:
Who lives there?
The pope?
What is that?
The Playboy mansion?
It's ridiculous!
Imagine pulling up to your house
and seeing these and going:
Oh my God!
I live here!
How nuts would it be
to own this one,
or that one,
or this one,
or that one?
You gotta get yourself
some marble columns.
The Romans had them
and they didn't do too bad, right?
Hey, you know what?
Take a good look at the White House.
Notice anything classy
on the porch?
Columns!
So, come on down
to Mike's Marbleopolis
and get yourself
some columns.
Mike's Marbleopolis
2941 Central Avenue in LUNBROOK
You gotta get yourself
some marble columns.