[Monks chanting "Dies Irae"] Pie Jesu Domine
Dona eis requiem
Pie Jesu Domine
Dona eis requiem
Pie Jesu Domine
Dona eis requiem
-A witch! -We found a witch.
-We got a witch. -We found a witch.
-We've got a witch. -We've got a witch.
-Burn her! Burn her!
-We have found a witch. May we burn her? -Burn her!
-How do you know she is a witch? -She looks like one.
Bring her forward.
-I am not a witch. I am not a witch. -But you are dressed as one.
-They dressed me up like this. -We didn't!
And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.
-Well? -Well, we did do the nose.
-The nose? -And the hat. But she is a witch.
-Yeah! -Burn her!
-Did you dress her up like this? -No. No. No.
-Yes. -Yes. Yes.
Yes, a bit. She has got a wart.
-What makes you think she is a witch? -Well, she turned me into a newt.
A newt?
I got better.
-Burn her anyway! -Burn her!
Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
-Are there? What are they? Tell us. -Do they hurt?
Tell me, what do you do with witches?
[all] Burn them!
-What do you burn apart from witches? -More witches!
-Wood. -So, why do witches burn?
[silence]
-'Cause they're made of wood? -Good.
So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
-Build a bridge out of her. -Can you not also make bridges of stone?
Oh, yeah.
Does wood sink in water?
-No. -It floats.
[all] Throw her into the pond!
-What also floats in water? -Bread.
-Apples. -Very small rocks.
-Cider. Cherries. -Gravy. Mud.
-Churches. -Lead.
A duck!
Exactly.
So, logically...
If she...
weighs the same as a duck...
She's made of wood.
And, therefore...
-A witch! -A witch!
We shall use my largest scales.
[all cheering]
-Burn her! -Burn the witch!
Right. Remove the supports!
-A witch! -A witch!
-It's a fair cop. -Burn her!
Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
-I am Arthur, King of the Britons. -My liege.
Good Sir Knight, will you come to Camelot, and join us at the Round Table?
My liege, I would be honored.
-What is your name? -Bedevere, my liege.
Then I dub you Sir Bedevere,
knight of the Round Table.