[Monks chanting "Dies Irae"]
Pie Jesu Domine

Dona eis requiem

Pie Jesu Domine

Dona eis requiem

Pie Jesu Domine

Dona eis requiem

-A witch!
-We found a witch.

-We got a witch.
-We found a witch.

-We've got a witch.
-We've got a witch.

-Burn her! Burn her!

-We have found a witch. May we burn her?
-Burn her!

-How do you know she is a witch?
-She looks like one.

Bring her forward.

-I am not a witch. I am not a witch.
-But you are dressed as one.

-They dressed me up like this.
-We didn't!

And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.

-Well?
-Well, we did do the nose.

-The nose?
-And the hat. But she is a witch.

-Yeah!
-Burn her!

-Did you dress her up like this?
-No. No. No.

-Yes.
-Yes. Yes.

Yes, a bit. She has got a wart.

-What makes you think she is a witch?
-Well, she turned me into a newt.

A newt?

I got better.

-Burn her anyway!
-Burn her!

Quiet! There are ways of telling
whether she is a witch.

-Are there? What are they? Tell us.
-Do they hurt?

Tell me, what do you do with witches?

[all]
Burn them!

-What do you burn apart from witches?
-More witches!

-Wood.
-So, why do witches burn?

[silence]

-'Cause they're made of wood?
-Good.

So, how do we tell
whether she is made of wood?

-Build a bridge out of her.
-Can you not also make bridges of stone?

Oh, yeah.

Does wood sink in water?

-No.
-It floats.

[all]
Throw her into the pond!

-What also floats in water?
-Bread.

-Apples.
-Very small rocks.

-Cider. Cherries.
-Gravy. Mud.

-Churches.
-Lead.

A duck!

Exactly.

So, logically...

If she...

weighs the same as a duck...

She's made of wood.

And, therefore...

-A witch!
-A witch!

We shall use my largest scales.

[all cheering]

-Burn her!
-Burn the witch!

Right. Remove the supports!

-A witch!
-A witch!

-It's a fair cop.
-Burn her!

Who are you,
who are so wise in the ways of science?

-I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
-My liege.

Good Sir Knight, will you come to Camelot,
and join us at the Round Table?

My liege, I would be honored.

-What is your name?
-Bedevere, my liege.

Then I dub you Sir Bedevere,

knight of the Round Table.