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[Monks chanting "Dies Irae"][br]Pie Jesu Domine

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Dona eis requiem

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Pie Jesu Domine

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Dona eis requiem

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Pie Jesu Domine

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Dona eis requiem

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-A witch![br]-We found a witch.

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-We got a witch.[br]-We found a witch.

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-We've got a witch.[br]-We've got a witch.

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-Burn her! Burn her!

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-We have found a witch. May we burn her?[br]-Burn her!

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-How do you know she is a witch?[br]-She looks like one.

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Bring her forward.

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-I am not a witch. I am not a witch.[br]-But you are dressed as one.

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-They dressed me up like this.[br]-We didn't!

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And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.

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-Well?[br]-Well, we did do the nose.

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-The nose?[br]-And the hat. But she is a witch.

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-Yeah![br]-Burn her!

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-Did you dress her up like this?[br]-No. No. No.

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-Yes.[br]-Yes. Yes.

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Yes, a bit. She has got a wart.

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-What makes you think she is a witch?[br]-Well, she turned me into a newt.

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A newt?

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I got better.

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-Burn her anyway![br]-Burn her!

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Quiet! There are ways of telling[br]whether she is a witch.

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-Are there? What are they? Tell us.[br]-Do they hurt?

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Tell me, what do you do with witches?

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[all][br]Burn them!

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-What do you burn apart from witches?[br]-More witches!

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-Wood.[br]-So, why do witches burn?

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[silence]

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-'Cause they're made of wood?[br]-Good.

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So, how do we tell[br]whether she is made of wood?

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-Build a bridge out of her.[br]-Can you not also make bridges of stone?

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Oh, yeah.

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Does wood sink in water?

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-No.[br]-It floats.

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[all][br]Throw her into the pond!

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-What also floats in water?[br]-Bread.

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-Apples.[br]-Very small rocks.

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-Cider. Cherries.[br]-Gravy. Mud.

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-Churches.[br]-Lead.

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A duck!

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Exactly.

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So, logically...

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If she...

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weighs the same as a duck...

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She's made of wood.

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And, therefore...

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-A witch![br]-A witch!

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We shall use my largest scales.

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[all cheering]

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-Burn her![br]-Burn the witch!

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Right. Remove the supports!

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-A witch![br]-A witch!

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-It's a fair cop.[br]-Burn her!

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Who are you,[br]who are so wise in the ways of science?

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-I am Arthur, King of the Britons.[br]-My liege.

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Good Sir Knight, will you come to Camelot,[br]and join us at the Round Table?

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My liege, I would be honored.

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-What is your name?[br]-Bedevere, my liege.

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Then I dub you Sir Bedevere,

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knight of the Round Table.