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So Nintendo has finally revealed the entire[br]roster for Super Smash Brother Ultimate.

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And it’s fucking garbage!

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I can’t believe Nintendo left out so many[br]amazing characters that would be perfect for

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Smash Bros.

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But there is still hope.

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Nintendo has also announced that there will[br]be additional DLC characters as well.

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In fact, they already revealed one of them.

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Piranha Plant.

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I applaud Nintendo for this choice.

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It’s great to see them add a character so[br]controversial, yet so brave?

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Clearly Sakurai’s mind is one above our[br]own.

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While I doubt we could ever come to fathom[br]the depth of Sakurai’s intellect, this character

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does give us a window into the madman’s[br]mind.

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There are five DLC characters left to be announced,[br]and given all of the evidence that has piled

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up over the last few months, I think we have[br]a pretty good chance at guessing who is left.

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So without further ado, here are my predictions[br]for the Smash Ultimate DLC roster.

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Sakurai has been feeding us hints about new[br]characters during every direct we have had.

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During the E3 Direct, we could see a barrel[br]and a rope ladder in the room where Sakurai

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was talking.

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This was obviously a hint at King K Rool being[br]a character in Smash.

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During the August 8th direct, there were two[br]chairs in the background, one yellow and one

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purple.

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No one really knew what this meant at first.

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People thought it was Waluigi, or maybe Rayman,[br]or even Skull Kid.

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Looking back at it now, it was so blatantly[br]obvious who the chairs were referring to that

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I won’t even bother repeating it.

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But what about the November direct?

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What secret did Sakurai leave for us this[br]time?

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Well, did you happen to notice this Japanese[br]man hidden right in front of the camera.

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I honestly can’t believe I missed it the[br]first time watching.

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But what does a Japanese man hint at?

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Well, I did some research and it turns out[br]that the game Super Mario Bros. was actually

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made by a Japanese man.

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Now my Japanese is a little rusty but I believe[br]his name is pronounced SHAGGY-ROO Bicycle

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Pump.

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Anyway, it turns out this Super Mario Bros[br]game is actually the game that Piranha Plant

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originated from.

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Coincidence?

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No.

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People have rightly pointed out that Piranha[br]Plant itself must be hinting at another character

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in the game, because why would Sakurai put[br]a fucking piranha plant in the game for no

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fucking reason?

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Some people think that Piranha Plant is hinting[br]at Geno’s inclusion, because there was some

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ad for Super Mario RPG in Japan with some[br]singing piranha plants or some shit, I don’t

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know.

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It’s a pretty solid theory, I will admit,[br]but listen to this.

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Remember that obscure Mario game I mentioned[br]earlier?

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The one that had Piranha Plant in it?

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Well, Piranha Plant isn’t even the first[br]enemy you see in that game, it’s the second.

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The first one is actually Goomba.

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So I think it’s safe to say that Goomba[br]is going to be our first DLC character.

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Now let’s talk about leaks.

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Super Smash Bros Ultimate has had tons of[br]leaks all over the internet.

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And most of them have been shit.

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But there is one leaker who has constantly[br]been proven right time and again.

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Vergeben.

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He correctly leaked Cat, Dog, Snake, and Bird.

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This person clearly has some insider information,[br]and they have said that a Square Enix character

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will be coming to Smash as DLC.

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So I played through every single game Square[br]Enix has ever made to find a character worthy

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of being included in Smash Bros.

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And I couldn’t find any.

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So I’m guessing they are going to just use[br]a character from Super Mario RPG, since the

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Mario franchise is pretty underrepresented[br]in Smash as it is.

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I don’t really know who they would pick.

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None of the characters really stand out to[br]me.

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Maybe Mallow?

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Yeah, Mallow.

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There are shit ton of characters in Smash[br]Ultimate.

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Too many, in fact.

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When people first pick up the game, it’s[br]going to be incredibly hard to know where

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to even start.

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It also doesn’t help that none of the characters[br]are very relatable.

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I don’t know what it’s like to be an Italian[br]plumber who eats mushrooms.

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I’m not physically fit in any way, shape[br]or form.

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I don’t even know what the fuck is going[br]on with this character.

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It seems to me like Smash Bros needs to have[br]a character that people can relate to.

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So I scoured the entire Nintendo franchise[br]to try and find a character that best represented

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the average Smash Bros fan.

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And I think I found him.

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Baby Mario.

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I don’t really know why, but whenever I[br]browse Smash related Reddit threads, YouTube

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comments or GameFAQ posts, I’m always reminded[br]of Baby Mario for some reason.

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It’s the weirdest thing, to be honest.

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Now, who says these DLC characters have to[br]even be from a pre-existing Nintendo game?

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You see, this is the problem with Smash speculation.

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There are all these rules people come up with[br]that aren’t really rules, they are just

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patterns.

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“New fighters have to be relevant” until[br]they aren’t.

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“A third party can’t have two fighters!”[br]until they do.

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So why does Nintendo have to add pre-existing[br]characters?

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That’s why I think we’ll be seeing a brand[br]new character added to Smash.

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Dr. Baby Mario.

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Now before you even say it, I know.

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Sakurai said that the DLC characters won’t[br]be echo fighters.

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But I didn’t say that Dr. Baby Mario would[br]be an echo fighter, did I?

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Let’s look at Dr. Mario.

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How is he different from Mario?

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Well, he’s slightly shorter, slightly more[br]powerful, slightly slower, and he has a different

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down Special.

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Now what attributes can echo fighters have?

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Well, they can have slightly different heights,[br]slightly different power levels, slightly

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different speeds, and they can have different[br]Special moves.

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So Dr. Mario is clearly not an echo of Mario,[br]meaning Dr. Baby Mario doesn’t have to be

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an echo of Baby Mario.

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Checkmate, atheists.

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Let’s go back to December 26, 2016.

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On that fateful day, Sakurai held an interview[br]with Denfaminicogamer.

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This interview took place in Sakurai’s house,[br]where he had a few collectibles lying around.

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Sakurai explained that he often purchased[br]toys to use as references when making games.

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The interviewer pointed out one of Sakurai’s[br]toys, a mech from the 1983 anime series Galactic

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Drifter Vifam.

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According to Sakurai, he purchased this toy[br]in order to use the included rifle as reference

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for a game he was working on.

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Sakurai obviously used this rifle as reference[br]for a new character in Smash.

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There is literally no other possible explanation[br]in the universe.

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There’s no way Sakurai could have used this[br]for a different game, or for an assist trophy.

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And it’s completely impossible that he just[br]didn’t actually use it.

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So where is the rifle, dear viewer?

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None of the new characters so far use rifles,[br]so this toy must be for our last DLC fighter.

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So, what character in the entire Nintendo[br]canon could Sakurai possibly be planning on

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adding into the game?

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Well, isn’t it obvious?

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So yeah, there’s my predictions.

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Best $25 bucks I ever spent.