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With his harebrained schemes 
and asinine dealings with the gods,

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King Midas ruled the ancient kingdom 
of Phrygia with an uneven hand.

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He was known in Greek mythology 
as a rogue ruler

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whose antics bemused his people 
and distracted the gods.

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Midas spent his days 
in a stupor of splendor,

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spoiling himself and his beloved daughter
and gorging himself on feasts and wine.

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Unsurprisingly, he felt 
an affinity with Dionysus,

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god of wine, carnival, and performance.

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One day, Midas discovered a satyr

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dozing in his rose garden and drunk 
on more than the scent of flowers.

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Midas recognized the satyr 
as one of Dionysus’s followers

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and let him nurse 
his hangover at the palace.

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Pleased with the king’s hospitality,
Dionysus offered to grant him one wish.

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Midas cast a greedy eye 
over his surroundings.

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Despite the luxury in which he lived,

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no amount of precious jewels, finest silk 
or splendid decor felt like enough.

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His life, he thought, was lacking luster;
what he needed was more gold.

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The god sent the power to turn anything
the king touched to gold

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surging through Midas.

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Ecstatic, he turned to his possessions.

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At his lightest touch, 
the palace walls transformed,

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stone statues shone,

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and goblets glittered.

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He galloped through his home in a frenzy,

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handling each item until 
it took on a lustrous sheen.

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Soon the palace heaved with gold,

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and Midas’s delirious
laughter echoed off the walls.

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Exhausted and hungry from his rampage,

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Midas picked up a bunch of grapes from 
his newly gilded fruit bowl.

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But he nearly shattered his teeth,

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for the fruit had turned 
to metal in his mouth.

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When he picked up a loaf of bread, 
the crumbs hardened in his hand.

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Flinging himself onto 
his bed in frustration,

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Midas discovered his plush pillows 
had morphed into solid gold.

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Hearing his cries of frustration, 
his daughter entered the room.

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But when Midas reached out to her,

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he saw with horror that he had frozen her 
into a golden statue.

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Horrified at what he had done,

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Midas begged the gods 
to rid him of his power.

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Taking pity on the foolish king,

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Dionysus told Midas to wash 
his hands in the River Pactolus.

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When Midas reached into the river, 
the gold drained from his fingertips.

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Midas returned home 
to find his daughter alive

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and his palace back to normal, 
and he rejoiced.

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You’d think he would’ve learned 
his lesson,

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but just a few weeks later,
Midas blundered again,

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insulting the music and sun god Apollo 
when he declared Pan a greater musician.

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Apollo scornfully declared that the king 
must have the ears of an ass

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to make such a misjudgment,
and transformed Midas accordingly.

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Once again regretting his behavior,

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Midas kept his hairy ears 
hidden in public.

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They were seen only by his barber,

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who was sworn to secrecy during 
a very awkward grooming session.

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The barber stifled his laughter 
and fought the desire to tell someone,

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yet the secret consumed him.

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One day, he walked outside the city 
and dug a hole in the ground.

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Plunging his head into the earth,

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the desperate barber whispered,
“Midas has ass’s ears.”

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Soon after, a clump of reeds sprang up

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in the spot where the barber 
had buried his words.

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When the wind blew, they carried the 
echoes of his whisper through the breeze:

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"Midas has ass’s ears."

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At the sound, donkeys in the fields raised
their heads in recognition

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and people chuckled to themselves 
at the follies of their king.

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With his golden touch and ass’s ears, 
Midas was not the most respected ruler.

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And where other leaders were honored 
through statues and temples,

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his people remembered him 
a little differently:

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in the depths of the glittering river 
and the rustle of the Phrygian wind.