WEBVTT
00:00:17.000 --> 00:00:21.000
[ Woman Moaning ]
00:00:23.500 --> 00:00:27.000
Ahh ! Ohh !
00:00:27.500 --> 00:00:29.000
- Ohh.
- [ Man Moaning ] Oh, yeah.
00:00:29.500 --> 00:00:31.000
Ohh,
you're so good.
00:00:31.500 --> 00:00:35.000
Ohh, yes.
I am the best, baby.
00:00:35.500 --> 00:00:37.000
- [ Woman On TV ] Oh, yeah !
- Oh. Oh, that was a tit.
00:00:37.500 --> 00:00:39.000
- That is a tit ! Yes !
- [ Moaning Continues ]
00:00:39.500 --> 00:00:41.000
[ Woman ] Oh, you're so big !
00:00:42.500 --> 00:00:44.000
Oh, yeah. Yeah,
that's right, baby.
00:00:44.500 --> 00:00:47.000
- [ Man On TV ] Oh, doggie
wants to hide his bone. - [ Woman ] Yes !
00:00:47.500 --> 00:00:49.000
Oh, yeah !
I'm bone smugglin', baby.
00:00:49.500 --> 00:00:51.000
- Man, would you shut up !
- [ Moaning Continues ]
00:00:51.500 --> 00:00:53.000
Hey, Jimmy.
Just wanted to say sweet dreams.
00:00:54.500 --> 00:00:55.000
Yeah, yeah.
Sweet dreams. Good night, Mom.
00:00:56.500 --> 00:00:59.000
- Kiss good night.
- [ Moaning Continues ]
00:00:59.500 --> 00:01:02.000
- [ Mom ] Something wrong
with the reception ? - Uh, yeah. Yeah.
00:01:02.500 --> 00:01:05.000
- There's-- There's this nature
show that I'm trying to watch. - [ Man On TV ] Take it off.
00:01:05.500 --> 00:01:09.000
- And the birds are
all scrambled and I can't even-- - [ Woman On TV ] Do me ! Yes !
00:01:09.500 --> 00:01:12.000
- [ Jimmy Groans ]
- Baby ! Ride me like a pony !
00:01:12.500 --> 00:01:15.000
- The thing must be broken or I
sat on the remote or something. - [ Moans Continue ]
00:01:15.500 --> 00:01:18.000
- Getting ready for bed, son ?
- Yup, I'm all set, Dad. I'm all set.
00:01:18.500 --> 00:01:21.000
- Yeah ?
- No ! No, I think he's tried to watch some illegal channels.
00:01:21.500 --> 00:01:24.000
- Illegal-- Illegal channels ?
- This is just bad reception, honey.
00:01:24.500 --> 00:01:26.000
-[ Man On TV ] Oh, spank my hairy ass !
-What's that ?
00:01:26.500 --> 00:01:30.000
- Ooh, baby !
- You know what ? Here. Just give me this, please--
00:01:30.500 --> 00:01:33.000
- Oh, my God !
- And let's get this-- Ohh !
00:01:33.500 --> 00:01:37.000
Okay, okay. Let's, uh-- What the hell's
the matter with this thing ?
00:01:37.500 --> 00:01:38.000
[ Woman On TV ] Yes !
00:01:49.500 --> 00:01:52.000
[ Boy ] Illegal channels ?
Shit !
00:01:52.500 --> 00:01:54.000
If there's any channel that
should be illegal, it's that "all-woman's" channel.
00:01:55.500 --> 00:01:58.000
- Lifetime supply
of pantyhose or some shit. - Yeah.
00:01:58.500 --> 00:02:01.000
Hey, uh, did you see The Little Mermaid
on TV the other night ?
00:02:01.500 --> 00:02:04.000
- No.
- Ariel, man. She's so hot !
00:02:04.500 --> 00:02:08.000
- Yeah, Oz. But not when she's on land.
- She's a mermaid, dude.
00:02:08.500 --> 00:02:12.000
[ Boy ] Come on, Vicky, it's Stifler's
party. We got to go. It'll be great.
00:02:12.500 --> 00:02:16.000
[ Vicky ] Why ? All that
happens at Stifler's parties is people get drunk and do it.
00:02:16.500 --> 00:02:18.000
Yeah.
00:02:18.500 --> 00:02:20.000
[ Vicky ] Now, come on, Kevin.
Open it.
00:02:20.500 --> 00:02:23.000
It's a big, thick envelope, Vicky.
You got in.
00:02:23.500 --> 00:02:25.000
If you think so,
just open it.
00:02:25.500 --> 00:02:27.000
- Fine.
- ** [ Rock ]
00:02:32.500 --> 00:02:34.000
Hmm.
00:02:34.500 --> 00:02:38.000
"Dear Miss Latham: We're sorry but
after keeping you on the waiting list...
00:02:38.500 --> 00:02:42.000
for the past couple of months, we've
decided that you are now rejected."
00:02:42.500 --> 00:02:44.000
- Shut up !
- [ Both Giggling ]
00:02:44.500 --> 00:02:49.000
- You got in.
- [ Squeals ] Yes ! I love you !
00:02:49.500 --> 00:02:51.000
- -- [ Continuing ]
- [ Chuckling ] Okay.
00:02:58.500 --> 00:03:00.000
Hey, you think I should wear
this shirt to Stifler's party ?
00:03:00.500 --> 00:03:03.000
[ Scoffs ] You've worn that shirt for,
like, three days in a row, man !
00:03:03.500 --> 00:03:05.000
Guys.
She said it.
00:03:05.500 --> 00:03:07.000
- Said what ? [ Chuckles ]
- She said she loves me.
00:03:07.500 --> 00:03:10.000
- Holy shit, dude ! The "L" word ?
- Oh, man !
00:03:10.500 --> 00:03:12.000
Cornell's not
that far from "U" of "M."
00:03:12.500 --> 00:03:14.000
Yeah, it's only,
like, seven hours.
00:03:14.500 --> 00:03:16.000
Oh, and you get
to drive across Canada.
00:03:16.500 --> 00:03:21.000
- Beautiful country.
- Whatever. It's doable.
00:03:21.500 --> 00:03:24.000
Wh-What we should
do today, in band.
00:03:24.500 --> 00:03:28.000
Instead of playing
our instruments regularly, we should play them backwards.
00:03:28.500 --> 00:03:30.000
- That'll be so funny !
- Yeah.
00:03:30.500 --> 00:03:32.000
-- [ Noodling ]
00:03:34.500 --> 00:03:39.000
No offense, but you're talking
about a post-high school, long-distance relationship.
00:03:39.500 --> 00:03:41.000
And you and Kevin
haven't even done it yet.
00:03:41.500 --> 00:03:43.000
That's not why
we're going out.
00:03:43.500 --> 00:03:46.000
What do you expect him to drive
to Cornell for ? Milk and cookies ?
00:03:46.500 --> 00:03:49.000
We're gonna have sex
when he's ready and I'm ready.
00:03:49.500 --> 00:03:51.000
It's got to be
completely perfect.
00:03:51.500 --> 00:03:54.000
I want the right time, the right moment,
the right place--
00:03:54.500 --> 00:03:57.000
Vicky, it's not
a space shuttle launch. It's sex.
00:04:01.500 --> 00:04:03.000
- Finch.
- Here's the man we are looking for.
00:04:03.500 --> 00:04:05.000
- Gentlemen.
- What's goin' on, buddy ?
00:04:05.500 --> 00:04:09.000
- Same ol'--
- [ Sighs ] Finch. You got the Latin homework ?
00:04:09.500 --> 00:04:15.000
Oh.
[ Speaks Latin, Chuckles ]
00:04:15.500 --> 00:04:17.000
It means, "My dog ate it."
It's Latin. It's a joke.
00:04:17.500 --> 00:04:22.000
- It's a Latin joke.
- Yeah, Latin. Just drink your coffee.
00:04:22.500 --> 00:04:24.000
- No, Jim, it's mochaccino.
- What ?
00:04:24.500 --> 00:04:26.000
What I'm drinking, it's mochaccino.
It's not coffee.
00:04:27.500 --> 00:04:29.000
[ Boy ] 'Nova !
00:04:29.500 --> 00:04:31.000
- [ Both Grunting ]
- What's up, dude ?
00:04:31.500 --> 00:04:33.000
You comin' to the party
tonight, Ozzie, you fuckface ?
00:04:33.500 --> 00:04:35.000
Uh, depends if my date
wants to stop by.
00:04:35.500 --> 00:04:39.000
- I'm workin' on somethin' new.
- I got an idea about something new.
00:04:39.500 --> 00:04:41.000
How about you guys
actually locate your dicks,
00:04:41.500 --> 00:04:44.000
remove the shrink-wrap
and fucking use them !
00:04:44.500 --> 00:04:48.000
Dude, it's gonna happen.
She's a college chick.
00:04:48.500 --> 00:04:50.000
[ Scoffs ] Oh, right.
I'll see you guys tonight.
00:04:50.500 --> 00:04:54.000
I'll look for you in the no-fucking
section. [ Mocking Laugh ]
00:04:54.500 --> 00:04:56.000
[ Self-Deprecating Chuckle ]
00:04:56.500 --> 00:04:57.000
[ Self-Deprecating Chuckle ]
00:04:57.500 --> 00:05:01.000
All right. I'm shooting for a
9:00 E.T.A. Beer in hand by five after.
00:05:01.500 --> 00:05:04.000
Breath check.
00:05:05.500 --> 00:05:09.000
- Thank you.
- [ Gargling ]
00:05:10.500 --> 00:05:13.000
[ Hacks ]
00:05:15.500 --> 00:05:18.000
- I wish you wouldn't do that.
- So, you got something up your sleeve for tonight ?
00:05:18.500 --> 00:05:21.000
This is a foolproof plan,
my friend.
00:05:21.500 --> 00:05:23.000
I have a serious question
to ask you guys. Okay.
00:05:23.500 --> 00:05:27.000
You know Nadia the Czechoslovakian
chick ? She might be there tonight.
00:05:27.500 --> 00:05:29.000
Now, do you think she would prefer...
[ Clears Throat ]
00:05:31.500 --> 00:05:33.000
Iaid-back Jim...
00:05:33.500 --> 00:05:35.000
or...
00:05:35.500 --> 00:05:38.000
[ Clears Throat ]
cool, hip Jim ?
00:05:38.500 --> 00:05:40.000
I don't think it really matters
with that shirt you're wearing.
00:05:40.500 --> 00:05:44.000
What ? Correct me if I'm wrong but
you're the one with the girlfriend...
00:05:44.500 --> 00:05:46.000
and you're still
stranded on third base.
00:05:46.500 --> 00:05:49.000
Hey, at least I know what
third base feels like, okay ?
00:05:49.500 --> 00:05:51.000
- You're still just a batboy.
- Batboy. Batboy.
00:05:51.500 --> 00:05:53.000
- [ Laughs ]
- What are you talking about ?
00:05:53.500 --> 00:05:56.000
Guys, uh--
00:05:56.500 --> 00:05:59.000
What exactly does
third base feel like ?
00:05:59.500 --> 00:06:01.000
You wanna
take this one ?
00:06:03.500 --> 00:06:07.000
- Like warm apple pie.
- Yeah ? - Yeah.
00:06:07.500 --> 00:06:10.000
- Apple pie, huh ?
- Uh-huh.
00:06:10.500 --> 00:06:13.000
- McDonald's or homemade ?
- [ Scooter Engine Starts ]
00:06:13.500 --> 00:06:17.000
Gentlemen,
destiny awaits.
00:06:17.500 --> 00:06:19.000
- [ Engine Stalls ]
- [ Boys Chuckle ]
00:06:19.500 --> 00:06:20.000
- [ Engine Stalls ]
- [ Boys Chuckle ]
00:06:20.500 --> 00:06:22.000
- -- [ Rock ]
- - It's been one week since you looked at me -
00:06:22.500 --> 00:06:24.000
- Cocked your head to the side
and said, I'm angry -
00:06:24.500 --> 00:06:26.000
That's number five and six
for the Stif-meister !
00:06:27.500 --> 00:06:29.000
- -- [ Continues ]
- Yeah.
00:06:29.500 --> 00:06:31.000
- [ Gasps ]
- Oops !
00:06:31.500 --> 00:06:34.000
- Holy !
- H-Hey !
00:06:34.500 --> 00:06:38.000
Nadia ! Buenos dias.
Glad you could make it.
00:06:38.500 --> 00:06:41.000
- I'll be back for you later.
- [ Door Bell Chimes ]
00:06:41.500 --> 00:06:44.000
- -- [ Snapping Fingers ]
- -- [ Continues ]
00:06:47.500 --> 00:06:49.000
- Another party sultan !
- How ya doin' ?
00:06:49.500 --> 00:06:51.000
Welcome to Stifler's
Palace of Love, fellas.
00:06:51.500 --> 00:06:55.000
- The keg's back there ! Enjoy !
- Yeah.
00:06:55.500 --> 00:06:58.000
Vicky, Jessica ! Great to see you.
Glad you could make it.
00:06:58.500 --> 00:07:00.000
Haha, bitches !
00:07:00.500 --> 00:07:02.000
- Sherman !
- Hey !
00:07:03.500 --> 00:07:05.000
What the fuck
are you doin' here ?
00:07:09.500 --> 00:07:10.000
Fellas !
What's goin' on ?
00:07:10.500 --> 00:07:11.000
Fellas !
What's goin' on ?
00:07:11.500 --> 00:07:15.000
Sherman. Not much. Just, uh,
scopin' the babes.
00:07:15.500 --> 00:07:18.000
- Indeed ! Some fine ladies here, boys.
- Uh-huh.
00:07:18.500 --> 00:07:22.000
Confidence is high.
Repeat. Confidence is high.
00:07:22.500 --> 00:07:24.000
Sherman is movin'
to DEFCON 2.
00:07:25.500 --> 00:07:28.000
- Full strategic arsenal
ready for deployment. - Hey !
00:07:28.500 --> 00:07:30.000
You have somethin'
goin' tonight, Sherman ?
00:07:30.500 --> 00:07:32.000
You see that
Central chick, Bernette ?
00:07:32.500 --> 00:07:34.000
- Um, no.
- No.
00:07:34.500 --> 00:07:37.000
She's around.
Seems she's taken a liking to me.
00:07:39.500 --> 00:07:42.000
Fellas, it's time
she experienced... the Shermanator.
00:07:42.500 --> 00:07:45.000
Yeah, okay,
Sherman. Whatever.
00:07:45.500 --> 00:07:49.000
I'm a sophisticated sex robot
sent back through time...
00:07:49.500 --> 00:07:52.000
to change the future
for one lucky lady.
00:07:52.500 --> 00:07:56.000
- Go get 'em, tiger.
- [ Imitates Schwarzenegger ] I'll be back !
00:07:58.500 --> 00:08:00.000
- Hopeless.
- Completely.
00:08:00.500 --> 00:08:02.000
- Hi.
- Hey, Vic.
00:08:02.500 --> 00:08:05.000
Oh, shit.
Guys-- Guys--
00:08:05.500 --> 00:08:09.000
There's Nadia and
she just looked at me.
00:08:09.500 --> 00:08:11.000
- She just looked at me.
- Well, why don't you go talk to her ?
00:08:13.500 --> 00:08:15.000
Yeah.
00:08:15.500 --> 00:08:18.000
Yeah, you're right, Kev.
I should just go talk to her.
00:08:18.500 --> 00:08:20.000
- [ Laughing ]
- [ Indistinct ]
00:08:20.500 --> 00:08:22.000
Yeah,
I could do that. Sure.
00:08:22.500 --> 00:08:26.000
Sure.
[ Clears Throat ]
00:08:26.500 --> 00:08:30.000
Kev ? Kev ? Ke--
00:08:36.500 --> 00:08:38.000
- [ Clattering ]
- [ Groan ]
00:08:38.500 --> 00:08:41.000
Yeah. Yeah.
[ Indistinct ]
00:08:42.500 --> 00:08:48.000
- At last -
00:08:50.500 --> 00:08:53.000
- My love -
00:08:53.500 --> 00:08:56.000
- Has come along -
00:08:58.500 --> 00:09:02.000
- My lonely days -
00:09:02.500 --> 00:09:07.000
- - Are over -
- [ Laughs ] That's great !
00:09:07.500 --> 00:09:11.000
- And life
is like a song -
00:09:15.500 --> 00:09:17.000
- Oh, yeah, yeah -
00:09:17.500 --> 00:09:19.000
- At last -
00:09:21.500 --> 00:09:23.000
See ya later.
00:09:23.500 --> 00:09:25.000
- The stars above --**
00:09:25.500 --> 00:09:27.000
- -- [ Rock ]
- [ Doorbell Chimes ]
00:09:31.500 --> 00:09:34.000
- -- [ Blaring ]
- We're here for the party.
00:09:34.500 --> 00:09:37.000
What party ?
There's no party. [ Chuckles ]
00:09:37.500 --> 00:09:40.000
[ Slurred, lndistinct ]
00:09:41.500 --> 00:09:46.000
Weird.
Try the house down the street.
00:09:49.500 --> 00:09:52.000
[ Oz ] So, what's your major ?
00:09:53.500 --> 00:09:55.000
[ Girl ] Post-modern feminist thought.
00:09:55.500 --> 00:09:58.000
Oh, cool.
Great night, isn't it ?
00:09:58.500 --> 00:10:01.000
Sure.
00:10:01.500 --> 00:10:07.000
Yeah, it's just somethin' about the
springtime that's just cool, you know ?
00:10:07.500 --> 00:10:11.000
- Like the smell
of fresh rain or somethin'. - Mmm.
00:10:11.500 --> 00:10:14.000
Suck me, beautiful.
00:10:14.500 --> 00:10:16.000
What did you just say ?
00:10:16.500 --> 00:10:20.000
- Suck me, beautiful.
- [ Laughs ]
00:10:20.500 --> 00:10:25.000
My friends call me "'Nova,"
as in Casanova.
00:10:25.500 --> 00:10:28.000
That's pathetic.
[ Laughs ]
00:10:29.500 --> 00:10:31.000
Jeez, you don't
have to laugh at me.
00:10:31.500 --> 00:10:33.000
Well, there's just some things
you need to learn, that's all.
00:10:33.500 --> 00:10:36.000
- Like what ?
- Well, you've got to tone it down.
00:10:36.500 --> 00:10:38.000
You don't need to come
to a place like Lookout Point...
00:10:38.500 --> 00:10:41.000
and spout off
cheeseball lines to be romantic.
00:10:41.500 --> 00:10:44.000
- Okay.
- You have to pay attention to a girl.
00:10:44.500 --> 00:10:49.000
Be sensitive to her feelings.
Relationships are reciprocal.
00:10:49.500 --> 00:10:53.000
Come on, Casanova.
I'll take you back to your friends.
00:10:53.500 --> 00:10:55.000
[ Power Windows Hum ]
00:10:58.500 --> 00:11:02.000
Vicky, think it's time to take
the next step in our relationship ?
00:11:02.500 --> 00:11:06.000
- Tonight ?
- Yeah, it's such a perfect evening.
00:11:06.500 --> 00:11:09.000
I mean, it's how you've
always pictured it, isn't it ?
00:11:09.500 --> 00:11:11.000
[ Boy ] Damn, my parts fuckin' stink !
00:11:11.500 --> 00:11:15.000
[ Boy #2 ] Dude, you gotta take
a shit ! You smell like a Yeti !
00:11:15.500 --> 00:11:18.000
Or not.
00:11:18.500 --> 00:11:21.000
Just relax.
00:11:22.500 --> 00:11:24.000
[ Zipper Unzips ]
00:11:24.500 --> 00:11:27.000
You actually
said that ?
00:11:27.500 --> 00:11:30.000
- [ Laughs Hysterically ]
- Shut up !
00:11:30.500 --> 00:11:32.000
You did a hell of a lot better
than I did with Nadia.
00:11:32.500 --> 00:11:35.000
Oh, thanks, Jim, that's great.
That's really reassuring.
00:11:35.500 --> 00:11:38.000
Hey, no problem,
'Nova.
00:11:38.500 --> 00:11:42.000
Hey, don't call me 'Nova anymore.
I'm a-- I'm a fraud.
00:11:42.500 --> 00:11:44.000
You guys
are pathetic.
00:11:44.500 --> 00:11:47.000
I'm gonna find myself
a little hottie.
00:11:47.500 --> 00:11:51.000
"Suck me, beautiful" !
[ Mocking Laugh ]
00:11:51.500 --> 00:11:56.000
- -- [ Continues ]
- [ Heavy Breathing ]
00:11:56.500 --> 00:11:58.000
- Let me know.
- Okay.
00:11:59.500 --> 00:12:01.000
Keep going.
00:12:01.500 --> 00:12:03.000
I should be able
to talk to girls.
00:12:04.500 --> 00:12:06.000
I'm articulate.
00:12:06.500 --> 00:12:08.000
You know, I got a 720
on my S.A.T. verbal.
00:12:08.500 --> 00:12:11.000
Bullshit.
There's no way.
00:12:11.500 --> 00:12:15.000
I kid you not, man.
Look. Listen.
00:12:15.500 --> 00:12:19.000
- Copious. Verisimilitude.
- Mmm.
00:12:19.500 --> 00:12:22.000
[ Moaning ]
Oh, ohh. Now.
00:12:24.500 --> 00:12:26.000
Ohh.
00:12:26.500 --> 00:12:29.000
[ Moaning, Grunting ]
00:12:29.500 --> 00:12:32.000
[ Fizzing ]
00:12:32.500 --> 00:12:34.000
Suck me,
beautiful !
00:12:34.500 --> 00:12:37.000
- Damn it, Stifler.
- Checkout time !
00:12:37.500 --> 00:12:43.000
- Please, vacate the room.
- You are such a jerk.
00:12:47.500 --> 00:12:50.000
God, I can't believe how many
cool people are at this party.
00:12:50.500 --> 00:12:54.000
Yup.
[ Chuckles, Snaps Fingers ]
00:12:54.500 --> 00:12:56.000
And you got
a keg too !
00:12:56.500 --> 00:12:59.000
- Wow !
- Indeed.
00:13:04.500 --> 00:13:07.000
Oh, wait.
I left my beer downstairs.
00:13:07.500 --> 00:13:10.000
No. No.
Here, babe !
00:13:10.500 --> 00:13:13.000
[ Giggles ]
Thanks.
00:13:13.500 --> 00:13:16.000
You're really
beautiful. Oh--
00:13:16.500 --> 00:13:19.000
- Really ?
- [ Sighs ] Oh, yeah.
00:13:19.500 --> 00:13:22.000
[ Both Giggle ]
00:13:32.500 --> 00:13:34.000
[ Muffled Chuckle ]
00:13:34.500 --> 00:13:37.000
You know what ? I don't know
if I want to be doing this.
00:13:37.500 --> 00:13:42.000
- Doing what ?
- You know, like, if we hook up tonight,
00:13:42.500 --> 00:13:45.000
tomorrow I'll just be some girl
you go telling all your friends about.
00:13:45.500 --> 00:13:48.000
[ Incredulous Chuckle ]
No way !
00:13:48.500 --> 00:13:51.000
Steve, you could at least look at me
when you say that !
00:13:51.500 --> 00:13:56.000
[ Sighs ]
Look. Sarah,
00:13:56.500 --> 00:14:00.000
I-- I wouldn't go telling
stories or anything about you.
00:14:00.500 --> 00:14:05.000
I promise.
So, just... relax,
00:14:05.500 --> 00:14:09.000
take it slow... and
let the good times roll.
00:14:11.500 --> 00:14:15.000
- Okay.
- All right.
00:14:15.500 --> 00:14:19.000
[ Gulps, Exhales ]
00:14:20.500 --> 00:14:23.000
What's wrong ?
00:14:25.500 --> 00:14:28.000
What's wrong ?
What is it ?
00:14:30.500 --> 00:14:35.000
- Xenophobic.
- [ Scream ]
00:14:35.500 --> 00:14:39.000
[ Whimpering ]
Oh !
00:14:39.500 --> 00:14:42.000
- Regurgitation.
- I know that one.
00:14:43.500 --> 00:14:47.000
- Kevin likes it.
- He likes getting head.
00:14:47.500 --> 00:14:49.000
Gee, what a total shocker.
What about you, Vicky ?
00:14:49.500 --> 00:14:52.000
I mean, h-have you just
never had one with Kevin...
00:14:52.500 --> 00:14:54.000
or have you never
had one, period ?
00:14:54.500 --> 00:14:56.000
I've had one.
00:14:56.500 --> 00:14:58.000
- I think.
- Okay.
00:14:58.500 --> 00:15:02.000
That's a no. No wonder
you're not psyched about sex.
00:15:02.500 --> 00:15:04.000
You tell me you never
even had one manually ?
00:15:04.500 --> 00:15:08.000
- I've never tried it.
- You've never double-clicked your mouse ?
00:15:09.500 --> 00:15:11.000
- [ Coughing, Vomiting ]
- Ha-ha, nice !
00:15:11.500 --> 00:15:14.000
- [ Laughing ]
- Jesus ! Stifler, how much did you drink, man ?
00:15:14.500 --> 00:15:18.000
Hey, Stifler ?
How's the pale ale ?
00:15:18.500 --> 00:15:21.000
- Fuck you ! [ Vomits ]
- Ooh, whoo !
00:15:22.500 --> 00:15:26.000
- [ Kevin ] That's Stifler's mom ?
- [ Jim ] Yup.
00:15:26.500 --> 00:15:31.000
Shit. I cannot believe a fine woman
like this produced a guy like Stifler.
00:15:31.500 --> 00:15:35.000
- Dude, that chick's a "MILF."
- What the hell is that ?
00:15:35.500 --> 00:15:39.000
- M-l-L-F-- Mom I'd like to fuck.
- Yeah, dude !
00:15:39.500 --> 00:15:41.000
Oh-ho, yeah !
00:15:41.500 --> 00:15:44.000
- [ Together ] Yeah ! MILF ! MILF !
- Hey, guys-- Guys. Guys.
00:15:44.500 --> 00:15:48.000
- Come here.
- Sherman, what's goin' on ?
00:15:48.500 --> 00:15:52.000
Yeah, uh-- Don't you think you fellas
could try a little tact ?
00:15:52.500 --> 00:15:57.000
I got company,
if you know what I mean ?
00:15:59.500 --> 00:16:01.000
She's hot !
00:16:01.500 --> 00:16:03.000
[ Door Slams ]
00:16:03.500 --> 00:16:09.000
If Sherman has sex before I do,
I'm gonna be really pissed.
00:16:09.500 --> 00:16:14.000
Sherman ? [ Chuckles ]
The Shermanator ?
00:16:14.500 --> 00:16:17.000
- [ Both Laugh ]
- Come on, man.
00:16:19.500 --> 00:16:21.000
[ Together ]
MILF ! MILF !
00:16:21.500 --> 00:16:25.000
MILF ! MILF ! Dude, hey, dude.
What are you doin' to her, dude ?
00:16:25.500 --> 00:16:29.000
Oh, my God,
bro, dude.
00:16:29.500 --> 00:16:32.000
- [ Chuckles ]
- Enough of this blow job bullshit.
00:16:32.500 --> 00:16:36.000
- I gotta get laid already.
- [ Vicky ] That's nice. Really, really nice.
00:16:36.500 --> 00:16:39.000
- Can I have a ride ?
- Sure.
00:16:40.500 --> 00:16:43.000
- [ Kevin ] Vicky, wait.
- Not for you.
00:16:43.500 --> 00:16:47.000
Yeti !
I am the Yeti !
00:16:55.500 --> 00:16:58.000
- [ Finch ] Good morning, gentlemen.
- Finch.
00:16:58.500 --> 00:17:02.000
Where were you last night, huh ?
What happened to that foolproof plan of yours ?
00:17:02.500 --> 00:17:05.000
Well, I was going for a fashionably-late
entrance and I was too late.
00:17:05.500 --> 00:17:08.000
So,
no ladies left.
00:17:08.500 --> 00:17:11.000
[ Sherman ] It was a very
special night, very special.
00:17:11.500 --> 00:17:13.000
- [ Girl Giggling ]
- Guys. Guys.
00:17:16.500 --> 00:17:20.000
- I'll never forget this.
- Oh, I'll never forget it, either.
00:17:20.500 --> 00:17:24.000
- [ Sherman ] Thank you.
- Uhh.
00:17:24.500 --> 00:17:28.000
- [ Girl ] Well, bye.
- Bye.
00:17:28.500 --> 00:17:30.000
Bye.
00:17:30.500 --> 00:17:32.000
[ Door Closes ]
00:17:33.500 --> 00:17:36.000
Fellas, say good-bye
to Chuck Sherman, the boy.
00:17:36.500 --> 00:17:39.000
I... am now a man.
00:17:39.500 --> 00:17:42.000
I highly recommend
you join the club.
00:17:42.500 --> 00:17:47.000
We were doin' the wild thing...
all night. I'm exhausted.
00:17:47.500 --> 00:17:50.000
I don't get it. I mean,
how the hell did you do that ?
00:17:50.500 --> 00:17:55.000
It was just my time.
It was just my time.
00:17:56.500 --> 00:17:59.000
Best of luck
to you boys.
00:18:01.500 --> 00:18:04.000
- I cannot believe this.
- Come on, guys.
00:18:04.500 --> 00:18:07.000
You know, we should
be happy for Sherman.
00:18:08.500 --> 00:18:11.000
[ Sighs ]
No, we shouldn't be.
00:18:11.500 --> 00:18:14.000
You know, I put in months
of quality time with Vicky.
00:18:14.500 --> 00:18:16.000
Sherman meets a chick
for one night and scores.
00:18:16.500 --> 00:18:19.000
- This is just wrong.
- No shit.
00:18:19.500 --> 00:18:23.000
How the hell am I supposed
to become Mr. Sensitive Man ?
00:18:23.500 --> 00:18:26.000
You know, we're all gonna go to college
as virgins. You realize this, right ?
00:18:26.500 --> 00:18:29.000
I mean, they probably have special dorms
for people like us.
00:18:29.500 --> 00:18:34.000
All right. I got an idea.
But it's got to stay between us.
00:18:34.500 --> 00:18:36.000
It's really simple. We just
got to make an agreement.
00:18:36.500 --> 00:18:39.000
Er, nah. It's--
It's more than an agreement.
00:18:39.500 --> 00:18:41.000
- What ? A bet ?
- A pact.
00:18:41.500 --> 00:18:43.000
No money involved.
More important than any bet.
00:18:43.500 --> 00:18:47.000
Here's the deal.
We all get laid before we graduate.
00:18:49.500 --> 00:18:52.000
Dude, it's not like I haven't
been trying to get laid.
00:18:52.500 --> 00:18:55.000
Think about when you work out, Oz.
You gotta have someone there, right ?
00:18:55.500 --> 00:18:57.000
Someone to spot you.
Someone to keep you motivated.
00:18:57.500 --> 00:19:00.000
Well, that's exactly what
we can do for each other.
00:19:00.500 --> 00:19:03.000
I mean, we'll be there
to keep each other on track.
00:19:03.500 --> 00:19:05.000
Separately, we are flawed
and vulnerable, but together,
00:19:05.500 --> 00:19:07.000
we are the masters
of our sexual destiny.
00:19:07.500 --> 00:19:09.000
Their tiger-style
kung fu is strong.
00:19:09.500 --> 00:19:11.000
But our dragon-style
will defeat it.
00:19:11.500 --> 00:19:15.000
- Guys !
- The Shaolin masters from East and West must unite !
00:19:15.500 --> 00:19:17.000
- Fight, and find out who is number one.
- Guys !
00:19:18.500 --> 00:19:22.000
Come on. You're ruining my moment here.
This is our very manhood at stake.
00:19:22.500 --> 00:19:25.000
We must make
a stand, here and now.
00:19:26.500 --> 00:19:30.000
No longer will our penises
remain flaccid and unused !
00:19:30.500 --> 00:19:34.000
We will fight for every man out there
who isn't getting laid and should be.
00:19:34.500 --> 00:19:37.000
This is our day.
This is our time.
00:19:38.500 --> 00:19:42.000
And, by God, we will not stand by and
watch history condemn us into celibacy.
00:19:42.500 --> 00:19:44.000
- Amen. Yes.
- I like that.
00:19:44.500 --> 00:19:48.000
-We will make a stand. We will succeed.
-'Bout time !
00:19:48.500 --> 00:19:51.000
- We will get laid !
- Yeah ! - Yeah !
00:19:51.500 --> 00:19:52.000
[ Cheering, Whooping ]
00:19:52.500 --> 00:19:56.000
Now, the sex: It's got
to be valid, consensual sex.
00:19:56.500 --> 00:20:00.000
- No prostitutes.
That's what you're thinkin', Finch. - [ Sucking Air ]
00:20:00.500 --> 00:20:02.000
[ Laughs ]
Busted.
00:20:02.500 --> 00:20:05.000
So, basically,
prom is our last chance.
00:20:05.500 --> 00:20:07.000
- Oh, dude. Prom sucks.
- I know,
00:20:07.500 --> 00:20:09.000
but you gotta think
about it this way.
00:20:09.500 --> 00:20:13.000
I mean, all the parties afterwards ?
The chicks are going to want to do it.
00:20:13.500 --> 00:20:17.000
- Yeah-yeah, he's right. It's,
like tradition or something. - The Rose Bowl.
00:20:18.500 --> 00:20:22.000
- So, that gives us--
- Exactly three weeks to the day.
00:20:24.500 --> 00:20:27.000
- We're gonna do this.
- All right, to the next step ! - Next step !
00:20:27.500 --> 00:20:28.000
[ Together ] Next step !
[ Whooping ]
00:20:28.500 --> 00:20:30.000
[ Together ] Next step !
[ Whooping ]
00:20:30.500 --> 00:20:35.000
- I have visions I was in them
I was lookin' into the mirror -
00:20:35.500 --> 00:20:38.000
- To see a little bit clearer -
00:20:38.500 --> 00:20:40.000
- The rottenness
and evil in me -
00:20:43.500 --> 00:20:47.000
- Fingertips have memories I can't
forget the curves of your body -
00:20:47.500 --> 00:20:50.000
- And when I feel
a bit naughty -
00:20:50.500 --> 00:20:54.000
- I run it up
the flagpole and see -
00:20:54.500 --> 00:20:56.000
- Who salutes
but no one ever does -
00:20:56.500 --> 00:21:00.000
- I'm not sick
but I'm not well -
00:21:00.500 --> 00:21:02.000
- I'm not sick
but I'm not well -
00:21:02.500 --> 00:21:05.000
- And I'm so hot -
00:21:05.500 --> 00:21:09.000
- 'Cause I'm in hell -
00:21:09.500 --> 00:21:13.000
- Been around the world and found
that only stupid people are breeding -
00:21:14.500 --> 00:21:17.000
- The cretins
cloning and feeding -
00:21:17.500 --> 00:21:20.000
- Well, did you get the flowers ?
- - And I don't even own a TV -
00:21:22.500 --> 00:21:25.000
- Hear the voices in my head
I swear to God -
00:21:25.500 --> 00:21:28.000
- It sounds like
they're snoring -
00:21:28.500 --> 00:21:31.000
- But if you're poor
and you're boring -
00:21:31.500 --> 00:21:33.000
- The agony and the irony -
00:21:33.500 --> 00:21:37.000
- They're killing me -
Whoa !
00:21:37.500 --> 00:21:41.000
- I'm not sick
but I'm not well -
00:21:41.500 --> 00:21:44.000
- And I'm so hot -
00:21:45.500 --> 00:21:48.000
- 'Cause I'm in hell --**
00:21:48.500 --> 00:21:51.000
Don't worry. You'll
get her back soon enough.
00:21:51.500 --> 00:21:53.000
- You think so ?
- Sure, she likes you.
00:21:53.500 --> 00:21:54.000
- Well, I like her too.
- Do you love her ?
00:21:54.500 --> 00:21:55.000
- Well, I like her too.
- Do you love her ?
00:21:55.500 --> 00:21:59.000
Um, you know what ?
You can't really ask me that.
00:21:59.500 --> 00:22:02.000
Well, if you want to get
her in the sack, I mean, just tell her you love her.
00:22:02.500 --> 00:22:05.000
- That's how I was duped.
- Look, Jessica,
00:22:05.500 --> 00:22:08.000
I-l don't want
to dupe her.
00:22:08.500 --> 00:22:11.000
All right.
What you need to do...
00:22:11.500 --> 00:22:13.000
is learn how to press
a girl's buttons.
00:22:14.500 --> 00:22:15.000
You have to give her
what she's never had.
00:22:16.500 --> 00:22:19.000
- What's that ?
- Let me give you a hint.
00:22:19.500 --> 00:22:23.000
[ Orgasmic Moans ]
Ohh, Kev ! Uhh. Yeah.
00:22:23.500 --> 00:22:26.000
- ? Comprende ?
- You mean an orgasm.
00:22:26.500 --> 00:22:29.000
- You got it, stud !
- Well, you know,
00:22:29.500 --> 00:22:31.000
I'm-l'm pretty sure that I've...
given her a--
00:22:31.500 --> 00:22:35.000
- No, you haven't.
- Well, there was one time--
00:22:35.500 --> 00:22:38.000
- No.
- Oh, man.
00:22:38.500 --> 00:22:43.000
- Look, kid, it's up to you.
The big "L" or the big "O." - Dickhead !
00:22:43.500 --> 00:22:47.000
- You gotta see this.
- [ Vocal Group ] - Do you believe in -
00:22:47.500 --> 00:22:50.000
- - Magic in a young girl's heart -
- - Ooh, ooh -
00:22:50.500 --> 00:22:53.000
- How the music can free her
whenever it starts -
00:22:54.500 --> 00:22:57.000
- And it's magic
if the music is groovy -
00:22:57.500 --> 00:23:01.000
- - It makes you feel happy -
- What did you cocks do to him ?
00:23:01.500 --> 00:23:03.000
- - I'll tell you about the magic
It'll free your soul - - - Ooh, ooh, ooh -
00:23:04.500 --> 00:23:08.000
- But it's like tryin' to tell
a stranger 'bout rock 'n' roll --**
00:23:08.500 --> 00:23:10.000
Great.
See you next time.
00:23:15.500 --> 00:23:18.000
- Hey, guys.
Came to watch me in action ? - Yeah.
00:23:18.500 --> 00:23:21.000
- I-l think you sounded pretty good.
- Yeah, man.
00:23:21.500 --> 00:23:23.000
I think you need
your balls reattached.
00:23:23.500 --> 00:23:26.000
- Hey, keep it down, dude.
- What the fuck are you doing here ?
00:23:26.500 --> 00:23:28.000
This place
is an untapped resource.
00:23:28.500 --> 00:23:30.000
I mean,
check it out.
00:23:31.500 --> 00:23:35.000
- These vocal jazz girls are hot.
- Why the hell is he joining jazz choir so late ?
00:23:35.500 --> 00:23:39.000
- Maybe he's preparing for
another senior year at East ? - [ Chuckles ]
00:23:39.500 --> 00:23:43.000
You guys,
we don't even know him.
00:23:45.500 --> 00:23:47.000
You dipshit !
00:23:47.500 --> 00:23:49.000
You're expecting
to score with some...
00:23:49.500 --> 00:23:51.000
goody-goody
choirgirl priss ?
00:23:51.500 --> 00:23:55.000
These chicks don't know me. I can work
the sensitive angle here, fellas !
00:23:55.500 --> 00:23:58.000
You know, it's just like
that college chick told me.
00:23:58.500 --> 00:24:01.000
All that you gotta do
is just ask 'em questions...
00:24:01.500 --> 00:24:03.000
and listen to what
they have to say and shit.
00:24:03.500 --> 00:24:07.000
I don't know, man.
That sounds like a lot of work !
00:24:09.500 --> 00:24:12.000
- [ Knocking ]
- Uh, just a second !
00:24:17.500 --> 00:24:19.000
Come in. Come in.
00:24:20.500 --> 00:24:22.000
Oh, Jim, you're here.
00:24:22.500 --> 00:24:26.000
Uh, I was just walking
by your room and uh--
00:24:26.500 --> 00:24:30.000
And, you know, I was thinking, "Boy,
it's been a long time since we've had...
00:24:30.500 --> 00:24:32.000
a little
father-son, uh-uh, chat."
00:24:34.500 --> 00:24:38.000
Oh ! I almost forgot.
I, uh, I bought some magazines.
00:24:38.500 --> 00:24:41.000
Do you just want to flip
to the center section ?
00:24:43.500 --> 00:24:46.000
Well, this is the--
this is the, uh, female form.
00:24:46.500 --> 00:24:49.000
And they have
focused on the breasts,
00:24:49.500 --> 00:24:54.000
uh, which are used primarily
to, uh, feed young infants...
00:24:54.500 --> 00:24:58.000
- and, uh-- and also, uh, in foreplay.
- Right. [ Clears Throat ]
00:24:58.500 --> 00:25:02.000
This is, uh--
This is Hustler.
00:25:02.500 --> 00:25:06.000
And this is a much
more exotic magazine.
00:25:06.500 --> 00:25:10.000
Now, they have decided to focus
on the, uh, pubic region--
00:25:11.500 --> 00:25:14.000
- Right. Uh-huh.
- The whole groin area.
00:25:14.500 --> 00:25:18.000
Look at the expression on her face.
You see that ? See what's she's doing ?
00:25:18.500 --> 00:25:21.000
She's kind of looking
right into your eyes saying,
00:25:21.500 --> 00:25:25.000
"Hey, big boy.
Hey, how ya doin' ?"
00:25:25.500 --> 00:25:29.000
- You see ?
- Right.
00:25:29.500 --> 00:25:33.000
Shaved is a magazine
I'm not too familiar with,
00:25:33.500 --> 00:25:38.000
- but, again,
if you flip to the center... - [ Sighs ]
00:25:38.500 --> 00:25:40.000
[ Clears Throat ]
section--
00:25:40.500 --> 00:25:45.000
Well, you see the detail that, uh,
that they go into in this picture here.
00:25:45.500 --> 00:25:48.000
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
- It almost looks like a tropical plant or something...
00:25:48.500 --> 00:25:50.000
- underwater... thing.
- Yeah. Yes.
00:25:50.500 --> 00:25:53.000
- Do you know what a clitoris is ?
- Oh, my God.
00:25:53.500 --> 00:25:55.000
- Well, don't say, "Oh--"
- Yes, I know what a clitoris is.
00:25:55.500 --> 00:25:57.000
Oh, you do. Oh, I see. Yes, you do.
I forgot you've been there and back.
00:25:57.500 --> 00:25:59.000
- You know everything--
- I've learned about it in Sex Ed--
00:25:59.500 --> 00:26:02.000
- I really don't need you
to talk about clitoris. - I'm trying to make this painless--
00:26:02.500 --> 00:26:05.000
- You know what ?
I'm sorry. Okay ? I'm sorry. - No-no-no.
00:26:05.500 --> 00:26:08.000
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.
00:26:08.500 --> 00:26:10.000
I shouldn't
have got hot there.
00:26:11.500 --> 00:26:13.000
Well, you know what
I'm going to do, Jim.
00:26:13.500 --> 00:26:15.000
I'm going to just
leave these books here...
00:26:15.500 --> 00:26:18.000
for you to, uh, peruse at your, uh--
at your leisure.
00:26:19.500 --> 00:26:22.000
Wait !
[ Groans ]
00:26:26.500 --> 00:26:28.000
Well, safer
than a tube sock.
00:26:28.500 --> 00:26:30.000
[ Sighs ]
00:26:30.500 --> 00:26:34.000
- Okay, that-- That was good.
- Yeah.
00:26:36.500 --> 00:26:40.000
- See you at dinner.
- Uh, yeah. I'll see you at dinner.
00:26:40.500 --> 00:26:43.000
So, Finch,
this is your plan ?
00:26:43.500 --> 00:26:46.000
You know, I don't think girls are
into the whole mini-golf thing.
00:26:46.500 --> 00:26:48.000
Kevin, I'm sure
that they're not.
00:26:48.500 --> 00:26:52.000
Actually, there is one small matter that
I need to ask for your cooperation in.
00:26:52.500 --> 00:26:55.000
- In the spirit of this
whole pact, you know ? - Sure, what do you need ?
00:26:55.500 --> 00:26:58.000
Whatever you hear about me, you agree.
And tell all the boys the same thing.
00:26:58.500 --> 00:27:02.000
Look, I gotta go.
Sixteen minutes round-trip.
00:27:02.500 --> 00:27:05.000
You know, Finch,
it's-- it's senior year.
00:27:05.500 --> 00:27:08.000
I mean, don't you think it's time you
learned how to take a dump at school ?
00:27:08.500 --> 00:27:11.000
When was the last time you looked
at the facilities in this school ?
00:27:15.500 --> 00:27:17.000
[ Murmuring ]
00:27:17.500 --> 00:27:20.000
- [ Grunts ]
- Excuse me.
00:27:20.500 --> 00:27:23.000
Uh, that's
Paul Finch, right ?
00:27:23.500 --> 00:27:26.000
- Yeah.
- Well, you've seen him in the locker room, right ?
00:27:26.500 --> 00:27:31.000
- Uh, yeah.
- So, my friends, they want to know. Is it true ?
00:27:31.500 --> 00:27:34.000
You know,
that he's... equipped.
00:27:34.500 --> 00:27:38.000
I have no idea. Finch showers
with his bathing suit on.
00:27:38.500 --> 00:27:40.000
I mean, uh--
00:27:40.500 --> 00:27:44.000
As a matter of fact, it is true.
The guy's huge !
00:27:44.500 --> 00:27:47.000
- Does he have a date for the prom yet ?
- No, definitely not.
00:27:47.500 --> 00:27:49.000
All right. Thanks.
00:27:50.500 --> 00:27:53.000
Oh, man !
00:27:53.500 --> 00:27:58.000
So I was thinking maybe you could
give me some advice, brother to brother.
00:27:58.500 --> 00:28:01.000
I thought you might know a trick
or somethin' to make her--
00:28:01.500 --> 00:28:05.000
- Orgasm ?
- Yeah. - What's good here ?
00:28:05.500 --> 00:28:08.000
- Try the spicy tuna hand roll.
- What ?
00:28:08.500 --> 00:28:11.000
- How do you do that ?
- Hey, never mind that. Listen, pay attention.
00:28:11.500 --> 00:28:15.000
Is that all that you're interested in,
tryin' to get your girl into bed ?
00:28:15.500 --> 00:28:18.000
No, it'd be good to be able
to, you know, return the favor.
00:28:18.500 --> 00:28:21.000
Be nice to know she enjoys
things as much as I do.
00:28:21.500 --> 00:28:24.000
See that ? That's good. That's what
I wanted to hear. Now, you qualify.
00:28:24.500 --> 00:28:28.000
- Qualify for what ?
- My man, you've just inherited the Bible.
00:28:30.500 --> 00:28:33.000
It originally started
as a sex manual,
00:28:33.500 --> 00:28:36.000
this book that some guys
brought back from Amsterdam.
00:28:37.500 --> 00:28:39.000
And each year it got passed on to one
East student who was worthy.
00:28:39.500 --> 00:28:43.000
Now, it's full of all sorts of stuff
that guys have added over the years.
00:28:46.500 --> 00:28:51.000
But you have to keep it a secret
and return it at the end of the year.
00:28:51.500 --> 00:28:55.000
All right.
So now you know. Good luck.
00:29:02.500 --> 00:29:04.000
- - lf you believe in magic -
- - Ooh, magic -
00:29:04.500 --> 00:29:09.000
- Don't you bother to choose if it's
jug band music or rhythm and blues -
00:29:09.500 --> 00:29:12.000
- Just go and listen
It will start with a smile -
00:29:13.500 --> 00:29:16.000
- That won't wipe off your face
no matter how hard you try -
00:29:16.500 --> 00:29:22.000
- Your feet start tappin' and you can't
seem to find how you got there -
00:29:22.500 --> 00:29:25.000
- Do you believe in magic --**
00:29:25.500 --> 00:29:30.000
- Scooby-dooby doo bah scoo-scooby-dooby
dooby-dooby doo bah -
00:29:30.500 --> 00:29:32.000
- Yeah, magic --**
00:29:32.500 --> 00:29:35.000
What was that ?
00:29:35.500 --> 00:29:37.000
- Uh, sorry.
- No, it was good.
00:29:40.500 --> 00:29:43.000
Well, it, uh--
It came from the heart.
00:29:43.500 --> 00:29:47.000
Well, keep it coming.
All right, people, good work !
00:29:47.500 --> 00:29:50.000
Now, don't forget. The state
competition's a couple of weeks away,
00:29:50.500 --> 00:29:53.000
so keep on it, okay ?
00:30:03.500 --> 00:30:06.000
Not bad, Chris.
00:30:06.500 --> 00:30:08.000
Really ?
00:30:09.500 --> 00:30:11.000
Thanks, uh,
Heather, right ?
00:30:11.500 --> 00:30:13.000
Yeah.
[ Chuckles ]
00:30:13.500 --> 00:30:16.000
So, you've got this sort of
Frank Sinatra thing going on.
00:30:16.500 --> 00:30:21.000
[ Chuckles ] Right. I feel like I've
discovered this whole new side of me.
00:30:21.500 --> 00:30:23.000
I mean, uh,
music is so expressive.
00:30:23.500 --> 00:30:27.000
[ Chuckles ] Okay.
I mean, I agree, but...
00:30:27.500 --> 00:30:30.000
aren't you supposed to be out,
like, trying to decapitate someone...
00:30:30.500 --> 00:30:34.000
-with your lacrosse stick or something ?
-Oh, sure. Sure.
00:30:34.500 --> 00:30:36.000
You know, I know what
people think. It's like,
00:30:36.500 --> 00:30:39.000
"Oz, he's just this
kick-ass lacrosse player."
00:30:40.500 --> 00:30:42.000
You know, I also play football,
by the way, but that's, like,
00:30:42.500 --> 00:30:46.000
- that's not all that I am, you know ?
- Of course, I didn't--
00:30:46.500 --> 00:30:50.000
I mean, it really bothers me when
people try to pigeonhole me like that.
00:30:50.500 --> 00:30:52.000
You ?
00:30:52.500 --> 00:30:55.000
You think
I don't get that ?
00:30:55.500 --> 00:30:58.000
God, it's like just because I don't
get drunk and barf every weekend...
00:30:58.500 --> 00:31:02.000
that people say, "Oh, look. There's
this Goody Two-Shoes choirgirl priss."
00:31:03.500 --> 00:31:07.000
Yeah. So, like,
what else do you do ?
00:31:07.500 --> 00:31:10.000
Well,
the same things you do,
00:31:10.500 --> 00:31:13.000
Iike hang out
with friends and stuff.
00:31:13.500 --> 00:31:16.000
- Why ? What do you think I do ?
- Oh, l--
00:31:16.500 --> 00:31:19.000
I just realized that I don't
know anything about you.
00:31:19.500 --> 00:31:24.000
- I was interested.
- Oh, well, what do you want to know ?
00:31:24.500 --> 00:31:27.000
You know,
stuff... about you.
00:31:30.500 --> 00:31:32.000
All right.
00:31:32.500 --> 00:31:37.000
Mom, I'm home !
00:32:24.500 --> 00:32:27.000
[ Chattering ]
00:32:29.500 --> 00:32:33.000
[ Moaning ]
00:32:33.500 --> 00:32:35.000
[ Moaning Continues ]
Oh, yeah. Oh !
00:32:36.500 --> 00:32:38.000
[ Gasps ]
00:32:38.500 --> 00:32:43.000
- Jim !
- It's not what it looks like.
00:32:48.500 --> 00:32:52.000
Well, we'll just tell your
mother that, uh-- that, uh--
00:32:52.500 --> 00:32:54.000
we ate it all.
00:33:00.500 --> 00:33:02.000
[ Sighs ]
00:33:19.500 --> 00:33:21.000
- [ Spectators Clamoring ]
- [ Grunts ]
00:33:32.500 --> 00:33:34.000
- [ Whistle Blows ]
- [ Cheering ]
00:33:34.500 --> 00:33:37.000
[ P.A. Announcer ]
Goal by number eight, Chris Ostreicher.
00:33:41.500 --> 00:33:43.000
- Nice game.
- Nice game. Good game.
00:33:46.500 --> 00:33:49.000
Hey, what are
you doin' here ?
00:33:49.500 --> 00:33:53.000
Just enjoying my first exhilarating
lacrosse experience.
00:33:53.500 --> 00:33:56.000
- You kicked butt.
- Oh, thanks.
00:33:56.500 --> 00:33:59.000
- Um, Chris--
- Oh, you can call me Oz, if you want.
00:33:59.500 --> 00:34:01.000
- Do I have to ?
- You can call me Ostreicher.
00:34:01.500 --> 00:34:03.000
- What's your middle name ?
- Nah, forget it.
00:34:03.500 --> 00:34:07.000
- Come on. I won't tell anyone.
- Well, neither will l.
00:34:07.500 --> 00:34:11.000
Okay. Um.
00:34:11.500 --> 00:34:14.000
So, I had this thought and--
00:34:14.500 --> 00:34:17.000
It may seem like
it's way out of left field.
00:34:17.500 --> 00:34:21.000
I don't know if you can,
but since I'm not going with anybody, I thought that maybe--
00:34:21.500 --> 00:34:24.000
Those guys sucked ass !
00:34:24.500 --> 00:34:26.000
Choir chick, what the hell
are you doing here ?
00:34:26.500 --> 00:34:31.000
Well, uh, I was
asking Chris to prom.
00:34:31.500 --> 00:34:33.000
So, do you
want to go ?
00:34:33.500 --> 00:34:37.000
Oh, yeah !
That would be great.
00:34:37.500 --> 00:34:40.000
Well, just don't
expect Oz to pay for the limo !
00:34:40.500 --> 00:34:43.000
Stifler, fuck !
I mean--
00:34:43.500 --> 00:34:48.000
Why do you got to be so
insensitive all the time ?
00:34:48.500 --> 00:34:51.000
What ?
00:34:51.500 --> 00:34:55.000
Whatever. Look, uh, don't forget.
My cottage after prom.
00:34:55.500 --> 00:34:57.000
On Lake Michigan.
[ Chuckles ]
00:34:57.500 --> 00:35:00.000
Hey, wait up, you pussies.
Where you goin' ?
00:35:00.500 --> 00:35:05.000
Ah, well, I gotta--
I gotta hit the showers now,
00:35:05.500 --> 00:35:09.000
but I think this is gonna
be really, really good.
00:35:09.500 --> 00:35:13.000
- Yeah. Me too.
- All right.
00:35:13.500 --> 00:35:15.000
- Bye.
- Bye. Bye.
00:35:20.500 --> 00:35:24.000
- 'Appenin' Oz !
- Working with the choir chick ?
00:35:24.500 --> 00:35:28.000
What d'ya say, fellas ? I just dig
those cute little sweaters she wears.
00:35:28.500 --> 00:35:32.000
- [ Laughing ]
- Nuts you do, you little horn dog.
00:35:32.500 --> 00:35:35.000
Yeah !
Yeah, baby !
00:35:35.500 --> 00:35:39.000
[ Stifler ] Spank me ! Spank me !
Hit that high "C."
00:35:39.500 --> 00:35:41.000
[ Falsetto ]
- Ahhhh -
00:35:41.500 --> 00:35:44.000
[ Whooping, Laughing ]
00:35:44.500 --> 00:35:47.000
Come on !
What's goin' on here ?
00:35:47.500 --> 00:35:51.000
[ Laughing, Shouting Continue ]
00:35:52.500 --> 00:35:54.000
I was being selfish
and majorly insensitive.
00:35:54.500 --> 00:35:57.000
I'm a-- I'm a total idiot.
I mean, a fool, a buffoon.
00:35:57.500 --> 00:36:00.000
I think shithead
really says it.
00:36:00.500 --> 00:36:02.000
You know what ? You're right.
I'm a shithead, and I want to make it up to you.
00:36:02.500 --> 00:36:04.000
You know what ? You're right.
I'm a shithead, and I want to make it up to you.
00:36:04.500 --> 00:36:07.000
Oh, yeah ? How ?
00:36:08.500 --> 00:36:11.000
- [ Moaning ] Oh. Oh. Oh. Ohh !
- - Don't make me -
00:36:11.500 --> 00:36:13.000
- - Over -
- Vicky. Shh. Your parents are downstairs.
00:36:13.500 --> 00:36:17.000
- Kevin, don't stop !
- Just a second.
00:36:17.500 --> 00:36:20.000
- I'm rockin' steady -
00:36:20.500 --> 00:36:22.000
- ln demonology -
00:36:23.500 --> 00:36:28.000
- Hey so that you could make it -
00:36:28.500 --> 00:36:30.000
[ Moans ]
00:36:31.500 --> 00:36:35.000
- - You're really makin' it --**
- Hon, can you tell Vic to come on down for supper ?
00:36:35.500 --> 00:36:41.000
- [ Screams ] Holy shit !
- Shh. You know there's no lock on your door ?
00:36:41.500 --> 00:36:43.000
- -- [ Humming ]
- [ Moaning ]
00:36:44.500 --> 00:36:46.000
-- [ Continues ]
00:36:46.500 --> 00:36:49.000
Ohh ! I'm coming !
I'm coming !
00:36:49.500 --> 00:36:52.000
-- [ Humming ]
00:36:54.500 --> 00:36:56.000
- Oh, Jim !
- Dad.
00:36:56.500 --> 00:36:59.000
Hi, I was just looking
at the old family portrait out here.
00:36:59.500 --> 00:37:02.000
Well, that was
a fun day wasn't it ?
00:37:02.500 --> 00:37:04.000
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
00:37:04.500 --> 00:37:09.000
Jim, I want to talk
about masturbation.
00:37:09.500 --> 00:37:13.000
Now, I just want you to know that
it's-it's a perfectly normal, uh, thing.
00:37:13.500 --> 00:37:15.000
And I have
to admit, uh, you know.
00:37:15.500 --> 00:37:20.000
I did a fair bit of masturbating
when I was a little younger.
00:37:20.500 --> 00:37:24.000
- I, uh-- I used to call it
"stroking the salami." - [ Groans ]
00:37:24.500 --> 00:37:27.000
Yeah, you know,
"pounding the ol' pud."
00:37:27.500 --> 00:37:30.000
I never did it
with baked goods.
00:37:30.500 --> 00:37:34.000
But you know your Uncle Mort ?
He "pinched the one-eyed snake" five, six times a day.
00:37:34.500 --> 00:37:38.000
See, it's like, uh,
practice for the big game.
00:37:38.500 --> 00:37:42.000
You see ?
It's like-- It's like...
00:37:42.500 --> 00:37:44.000
banging a tennis ball
against a brick wall.
00:37:45.500 --> 00:37:49.000
Which can be fun.
It can be fun, but it's not a game.
00:37:49.500 --> 00:37:51.000
- Right. No.
- It's not a game.
00:37:51.500 --> 00:37:55.000
What you want is you want
a partner to return the ball.
00:37:55.500 --> 00:37:59.000
- Do you want a partner ?
- Yeah. Yeah-Yeah, I want a partner.
00:37:59.500 --> 00:38:01.000
- You do want a partner ?
- Oh, I want a partner.
00:38:01.500 --> 00:38:05.000
- Want a partner. Good. Good.
- Of course.
00:38:05.500 --> 00:38:07.000
Good.
00:38:07.500 --> 00:38:11.000
So, once Hal becomes king,
he has to take on...
00:38:11.500 --> 00:38:14.000
the responsibilities of leadership
and turn his back...
00:38:14.500 --> 00:38:16.000
on his old,
drunken friend, Falstaff.
00:38:16.500 --> 00:38:21.000
You see, Hal is going through a...
rite of passage, much like you all are.
00:38:21.500 --> 00:38:25.000
So make most of the time you've got
left together. You'll miss it later.
00:38:25.500 --> 00:38:27.000
- [ Teacher Continues ]
- So, does your tongue cramp up ?
00:38:27.500 --> 00:38:32.000
- Nah. You get kind of dizzy, though.
- Wow.
00:38:32.500 --> 00:38:36.000
That's amazing. She's probably
gonna want to do it soon.
00:38:37.500 --> 00:38:41.000
- [ Bell Rings ]
- All right. Class dismissed.
00:38:43.500 --> 00:38:48.000
Still questing after the Holy Grail,
huh, guys ?
00:38:51.500 --> 00:38:53.000
Hey, uh,
where's Finch ?
00:38:53.500 --> 00:38:55.000
- Oh, he went home to take a shit.
- [ Chuckles ]
00:38:55.500 --> 00:38:57.000
I don't get it.
I just don't.
00:38:58.500 --> 00:39:00.000
How does a guy like that
get this sudden reputation ?
00:39:00.500 --> 00:39:04.000
- What reputation ?
- Observe.
00:39:04.500 --> 00:39:08.000
Ex-Excuse me.
Do you know who Paul Finch is ?
00:39:08.500 --> 00:39:11.000
Yeah ! He's the guy
with the tattoo, right ?
00:39:11.500 --> 00:39:17.000
- You know, the eagle and the
blazing fire and that stuff. - [ Chuckles ]
00:39:17.500 --> 00:39:21.000
Well, um, if you guys see him later,
will you tell him Courtney says hi ?
00:39:21.500 --> 00:39:24.000
Bye.
00:39:24.500 --> 00:39:28.000
- [ Scoffs ]
- Okay. Explain.
00:39:28.500 --> 00:39:31.000
I can't. I don't
know how he's doing it.
00:39:31.500 --> 00:39:34.000
I, uh-- I guess that
just leaves Jim trailing.
00:39:34.500 --> 00:39:36.000
- Aw, Jimbo !
- Better sack up, buddy !
00:39:36.500 --> 00:39:38.000
Yeah, I know.
I'm working on it, all right ?
00:39:39.500 --> 00:39:41.000
James ?
00:39:41.500 --> 00:39:43.000
You are very good
in the world history class, yes ?
00:39:43.500 --> 00:39:47.000
- Me ? Y-Yes. No, uh--
- [ Mouthing Words ]
00:39:47.500 --> 00:39:50.000
- Yes, I am.
- Perhaps you could help me with my studies.
00:39:50.500 --> 00:39:53.000
Uh, yeah. Absolutely.
00:39:53.500 --> 00:39:55.000
Tha-Tha-Tha-- That would be--
That would be great sometime.
00:39:55.500 --> 00:39:59.000
- How about tomorrow ?
- Well, I have ballet practice.
00:39:59.500 --> 00:40:03.000
Perhaps I could come
by your house afterwards ?
00:40:03.500 --> 00:40:05.000
I could change
clothes at your place.
00:40:07.500 --> 00:40:10.000
Oh. Uh... yeah.
00:40:10.500 --> 00:40:14.000
I suppose that
would be okay. Sure.
00:40:20.500 --> 00:40:25.000
- [ Engine Off ]
- Nice car !
00:40:25.500 --> 00:40:27.000
- I'm glad you think so.
- You don't like it ?
00:40:27.500 --> 00:40:31.000
No, I like the car.
By the way, though, about prom ?
00:40:31.500 --> 00:40:34.000
That was a bad idea.
I'm sorry I invited you.
00:40:34.500 --> 00:40:37.000
- What are you talkin' about ?
- Please.
00:40:37.500 --> 00:40:41.000
I asked you because I thought you might
actually be worth going with.
00:40:41.500 --> 00:40:44.000
But you are just a jock.
No, wait. You're a jerk.
00:40:44.500 --> 00:40:47.000
Wait !
I don't understand.
00:40:47.500 --> 00:40:51.000
I saw you making fun of me
with your lacrosse buddies.
00:40:51.500 --> 00:40:53.000
Heather, I wasn't
makin' fun of you.
00:40:53.500 --> 00:40:56.000
Gimme a break.
You're so full of it.
00:40:59.500 --> 00:41:04.000
Fuck me ! There's gonna be an Eastern
European chick naked in your house.
00:41:04.500 --> 00:41:06.000
And you're not gonna
do anything about that ?
00:41:06.500 --> 00:41:10.000
What am I gonna do, huh ?
Broadcast her over the lnternet ?
00:41:10.500 --> 00:41:14.000
- Yeah.
- You can do that ?
00:41:17.500 --> 00:41:21.000
[ Scoffs ]
No. I cannot do that to her.
00:41:21.500 --> 00:41:25.000
Jim, get some fuckin' balls.
00:41:25.500 --> 00:41:29.000
If you don't have the guts
to photograph a naked chick, how you gonna sleep with one ?
00:41:30.500 --> 00:41:32.000
I don't like the kid,
but he's got a point.
00:41:32.500 --> 00:41:35.000
See, even shit-brick
knows you should do it.
00:41:36.500 --> 00:41:39.000
All you gotta do is set up some sort of
private link or whatever on the 'Net...
00:41:39.500 --> 00:41:41.000
and tell me the address.
00:41:41.500 --> 00:41:44.000
You can send me
the address too.
00:41:44.500 --> 00:41:47.000
I'll save
you a seat.
00:41:47.500 --> 00:41:53.000
- How sweet it is
to be loved by you, by you -
00:41:53.500 --> 00:41:57.000
- - I needed the shelter
of someone's arms - - - Someone's arms -
00:41:57.500 --> 00:42:01.000
- - There you were -
- - You were, oh -
00:42:01.500 --> 00:42:06.000
- I needed someone
who understands my ups and downs -
00:42:06.500 --> 00:42:08.000
- There you were --**
00:42:08.500 --> 00:42:12.000
Okay, that was good, but
I want to thicken-up that solo.
00:42:12.500 --> 00:42:15.000
Michigan State is this Saturday,
and I want that part to smoke.
00:42:15.500 --> 00:42:17.000
Yeah, I know,
my timing's off.
00:42:17.500 --> 00:42:21.000
No, it's not that. I think it'll
work better as a duet with a tenor part.
00:42:21.500 --> 00:42:23.000
I'll do it.
00:42:24.500 --> 00:42:27.000
- [ Whispers ] Dick.
- I'll do it.
00:42:27.500 --> 00:42:29.000
Great.
See you tomorrow.
00:42:31.500 --> 00:42:33.000
Hmph.
00:42:36.500 --> 00:42:39.000
- Why are you doing this ?
- 'Cause I want to.
00:42:39.500 --> 00:42:42.000
Yeah ? Well,
you can't fake this.
00:42:42.500 --> 00:42:46.000
You better practice.
00:42:47.500 --> 00:42:49.000
[ Beeping ]
00:42:56.500 --> 00:42:58.000
- [ Knocking ]
- Come in.
00:43:00.500 --> 00:43:04.000
Jim ? There's a, uh--
a young lady here to see you.
00:43:04.500 --> 00:43:07.000
- Hey, Nadia.
- Hi, James. Ready to study ?
00:43:07.500 --> 00:43:09.000
Oh, he's always ready to study.
He's a real bookworm, this kid.
00:43:09.500 --> 00:43:13.000
- Dad.
- That means-- He's not-not one of those nerdy guys but--
00:43:13.500 --> 00:43:18.000
- Dad !
- Well, I'll-- I'll let you two hit the books.
00:43:22.500 --> 00:43:25.000
You want a beer ?
00:43:25.500 --> 00:43:29.000
- [ Kevin ] Oh, there we go.
- [ Little Boy ] Come on, move !
00:43:29.500 --> 00:43:33.000
Steve ! It's my computer !
And I wanna use it !
00:43:33.500 --> 00:43:35.000
Shut up !
00:43:35.500 --> 00:43:38.000
Oh, you need to--
You need to change, right ?
00:43:38.500 --> 00:43:41.000
- Uhh, do you mind ?
- No. N-No, not at all.
00:43:41.500 --> 00:43:44.000
Uh, please, you know.
Just go ahead and get un-- get changed.
00:43:45.500 --> 00:43:48.000
[ Clears Throat ] I'll, uh-- I'll
go downstairs and start studying up.
00:43:48.500 --> 00:43:50.000
- [ Chuckles ] Yeah.
- Okay.
00:43:50.500 --> 00:43:53.000
- [ Finch ] Oh--
- [ Kevin ] All right, there he goes.
00:43:53.500 --> 00:43:54.000
Now,
we're in business.
00:43:54.500 --> 00:43:55.000
Now,
we're in business.
00:43:55.500 --> 00:43:57.000
-** [ Rock ]
00:43:57.500 --> 00:43:59.000
- Back in a sec.
- Jimmy, honey, wh--
00:44:00.500 --> 00:44:02.000
-- [ Continues ]
00:44:11.500 --> 00:44:16.000
- He pauses shaving and he tells himself
that he is the bomb -
00:44:16.500 --> 00:44:21.000
- She has her curlers set, her credit
cards are paying the funds -
00:44:21.500 --> 00:44:24.000
- - He's not that old I've been told --**
- Ah, here she is.
00:44:26.500 --> 00:44:29.000
- Did I miss anything ?
- No. You are just in time.
00:44:29.500 --> 00:44:33.000
- [ Boys Groaning ] Oh. Ohh !
- [ Kevin ] This is incredible.
00:44:33.500 --> 00:44:36.000
Oh, my God !
This is too much.
00:44:36.500 --> 00:44:39.000
[ Finch ] Oh, did you see ?
Oh, there that goes. Oh, geez.
00:44:39.500 --> 00:44:41.000
God bless
the lnternet.
00:44:41.500 --> 00:44:44.000
- [ Jim ] Ai-yi-yi.
- Do it. Take it off.
00:44:44.500 --> 00:44:47.000
- Oh, my God.
- [ Together ] Ohhh !
00:44:47.500 --> 00:44:49.000
Oh, thank you, God,
for this wonderful, wonderful day.
00:44:50.500 --> 00:44:54.000
- She takes her vitamins.
- - And it is way too unhealthy -
00:44:54.500 --> 00:44:56.000
- Often they've typically --**
00:44:56.500 --> 00:44:58.000
- [ Sighs ]
- Stop hyperventilating.
00:44:58.500 --> 00:45:01.000
-- [ Continues lndistinct ]
00:45:03.500 --> 00:45:08.000
This is, like,
the coolest thing I've ever seen.
00:45:08.500 --> 00:45:11.000
- I know.
- [ Both Snicker ]
00:45:11.500 --> 00:45:14.000
Can you believe-- This is definitely
one of Stifler's best ideas ever.
00:45:16.500 --> 00:45:18.000
[ Jim ] What is she--
She's touching my stuff.
00:45:18.500 --> 00:45:20.000
- Why is she touching my stuff ?
- [ Finch ] Man, let her touch.
00:45:21.500 --> 00:45:24.000
- She's going through my stuff !
- Nadia can touch anything she wants.
00:45:30.500 --> 00:45:33.000
- Oh.
- Oh, no. Oh, no.
00:45:33.500 --> 00:45:36.000
- No, no.
- Oh, nice collection there, Jim.
00:45:36.500 --> 00:45:38.000
She's gonna leave.
She's definitely gonna--
00:45:39.500 --> 00:45:41.000
She's getting comfortable.
She's not gonna leave.
00:45:41.500 --> 00:45:44.000
[ Finch ] She reads
the articles.
00:45:51.500 --> 00:45:54.000
[ Boys Moaning ]
00:45:57.500 --> 00:45:59.000
Is she ?
00:45:59.500 --> 00:46:03.000
She's goin' downstairs.
00:46:03.500 --> 00:46:06.000
[ Moaning ]
00:46:12.500 --> 00:46:16.000
- Oh, my God !
- Jackpot, baby !
00:46:16.500 --> 00:46:20.000
- Can you believe this ?
- Nadia, I would have never known.
00:46:20.500 --> 00:46:22.000
I have an announcement
that I would like to make.
00:46:23.500 --> 00:46:26.000
There is a gorgeous woman...
masturbating on my bed !
00:46:27.500 --> 00:46:32.000
- [ Finch ] Thank you, Nadia !
- If you ever had a chance with Nadia, this is it.
00:46:32.500 --> 00:46:37.000
- [ Scoffs ] What am I
supposed to do, Kev ? - Seduce her.
00:46:37.500 --> 00:46:40.000
Wha-- What the hell
would I say ?
00:46:40.500 --> 00:46:43.000
Go over there and ask her
if she needs an extra hand.
00:46:43.500 --> 00:46:47.000
- That's stupid, Kev. I can't--
- That's not stupid ! You're stupid if you don't go !
00:46:47.500 --> 00:46:49.000
Come on !
Get over there !
00:46:49.500 --> 00:46:52.000
- Get goin', man. She's prime.
- Get out of here !
00:46:52.500 --> 00:46:55.000
- She's waitin' for you.
- Okay, all right. I'm goin'.
00:46:55.500 --> 00:46:57.000
- Go !
- Go ! - I'm goin' !
00:46:57.500 --> 00:46:59.000
- Go ! Go ! Go ! Go !
- Oh, shit.
00:46:59.500 --> 00:47:03.000
-- [ Rock ]
00:47:08.500 --> 00:47:12.000
- She's open
waiting for more -
00:47:12.500 --> 00:47:16.000
- And I know he's only
lookin' to score -
00:47:16.500 --> 00:47:19.000
- And it's way too unhealthy -
00:47:19.500 --> 00:47:21.000
- - Often they've typically -
- Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.
00:47:21.500 --> 00:47:25.000
- Been starved
for attention before --**
00:47:25.500 --> 00:47:27.000
[ Exhales Sharply ]
00:47:27.500 --> 00:47:30.000
Oh, boy. Oh, God.
Oh, crap. Oh, no.
00:47:30.500 --> 00:47:34.000
- [ Phone Rings ]
- Hello ?
00:47:34.500 --> 00:47:37.000
- Looks like Jim addressed
the e-mail wrong. - What ?
00:47:37.500 --> 00:47:41.000
It went out to every mailbox
in the East High directory.
00:47:41.500 --> 00:47:43.000
God, how juvenile.
00:47:43.500 --> 00:47:45.000
- -- [ Rock ]
- Hey, hey, hey, guys !
00:47:45.500 --> 00:47:49.000
- - Baby -
- Check this out ! Oh, my God ! Wow !
00:47:52.500 --> 00:47:54.000
Oh.
[ Laughs ]
00:47:54.500 --> 00:47:59.000
Please, God,
let this be it.
00:47:59.500 --> 00:48:01.000
Please ?
00:48:01.500 --> 00:48:05.000
- [ Inhales, Exhales Deeply ]
- [ Nadia Moaning, Panting ]
00:48:05.500 --> 00:48:10.000
- S-Somebody's goin' in there.
- [ Whimpering, Moaning ]
00:48:11.500 --> 00:48:13.000
Here you go.
That's what you need to do.
00:48:13.500 --> 00:48:16.000
- That guy's in my trig class.
- Oh, no.
00:48:18.500 --> 00:48:22.000
-Looks like you could use an extra hand.
-Jim !
00:48:22.500 --> 00:48:25.000
- Well-- Oh, God.
- Shame on you.
00:48:25.500 --> 00:48:27.000
Yeah, shame on me.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
00:48:27.500 --> 00:48:29.000
- Uh, you know, I'm just gonna go.
- Well,
00:48:29.500 --> 00:48:33.000
you have seen me.
00:48:33.500 --> 00:48:36.000
Now, it's
my turn to see you.
00:48:37.500 --> 00:48:41.000
Strip !
00:48:41.500 --> 00:48:43.000
- Strip ?
- Slowly.
00:48:43.500 --> 00:48:47.000
Uh, you mean,
like, strip strip ?
00:48:47.500 --> 00:48:51.000
For me.
00:48:51.500 --> 00:48:53.000
[ Finch ] What is he
talkin' to her about ?
00:48:53.500 --> 00:48:58.000
- Uh, no idea.
- Come on, Jim. People are viewing. Get to business.
00:48:58.500 --> 00:49:01.000
- [ Tuning Radio ]
- -- [ Techno ]
00:49:01.500 --> 00:49:04.000
Perfect !
00:49:04.500 --> 00:49:07.000
- Move, James ! Move !
- Yeah, yeah. Move.
00:49:13.500 --> 00:49:15.000
-- [ Continues ]
00:49:15.500 --> 00:49:18.000
- Go, trig boy ! It's yer birthday !
- [ Chittering ]
00:49:29.500 --> 00:49:30.000
- No ! No. No.
- Please, God.
00:49:31.500 --> 00:49:33.000
- [ Disappointed Muttering ]
- What's going on ?
00:49:38.500 --> 00:49:41.000
- Yes !
- All right. Get in the mix !
00:49:41.500 --> 00:49:43.000
- See there.
- Oh, okay.
00:49:45.500 --> 00:49:50.000
- This is disgusting.
- What the fuck is this ?
00:49:52.500 --> 00:49:54.000
Cut it out, man !
00:49:59.500 --> 00:50:01.000
Yeah.
00:50:02.500 --> 00:50:04.000
- [ Laughing ]
- [ Laughing ]
00:50:13.500 --> 00:50:15.000
Freak.
00:50:19.500 --> 00:50:21.000
Did not just
take out that chair.
00:50:21.500 --> 00:50:25.000
- Yup, he took out the chair.
- More, more, you bad boy !
00:50:26.500 --> 00:50:30.000
Oh, yeah, I'm naughty. I'm naughty,
baby. Hyah ! [ Slapping ]
00:50:30.500 --> 00:50:33.000
- [ Groans ] Ohh, God !
- [ Chitters, Slaps ]
00:50:33.500 --> 00:50:36.000
- Calling your name -
00:50:36.500 --> 00:50:39.000
- - Calling your name -
- Now,
00:50:39.500 --> 00:50:42.000
come to me.
00:50:42.500 --> 00:50:45.000
Oh, yeah.
00:50:51.500 --> 00:50:53.000
- Here we go.
- He's in, man.
00:50:54.500 --> 00:50:55.000
- - Calling -
- This just got a hell of a lot better.
00:50:55.500 --> 00:50:59.000
- Be gentle.
- Okay.
00:51:01.500 --> 00:51:04.000
- - Calling your name -
- Uh--
00:51:04.500 --> 00:51:06.000
- - Calling -
- Oh.
00:51:06.500 --> 00:51:09.000
- Your name --**
00:51:09.500 --> 00:51:11.000
- [ Whimpers ]
- Jim ?
00:51:11.500 --> 00:51:15.000
- Oh ! Oh, no.
- [ Both ] Oh, no.
00:51:15.500 --> 00:51:18.000
- [ All ] Oh. Ohh !
- Liftoff aborted.
00:51:19.500 --> 00:51:22.000
- Houston, we have a problem.
- Oh-- Uhh--
00:51:22.500 --> 00:51:25.000
- [ Blows Air ]
- What happened ? What did he do
00:51:25.500 --> 00:51:27.000
He blew it.
00:51:27.500 --> 00:51:30.000
I guess
I'll be going now.
00:51:30.500 --> 00:51:35.000
No, no, no, I'm-- I'm not done, Nadia.
I've, uh-- I've got reserves.
00:51:35.500 --> 00:51:38.000
Nadia, please, please.
I'm begging you.
00:51:38.500 --> 00:51:41.000
Well, I do like
your dirty magazines.
00:51:41.500 --> 00:51:46.000
You do ? Okay. Well. Um.
Did-Did-- Did you see this one ?
00:51:46.500 --> 00:51:51.000
This here is your-- is your more,
uh, exotic, risque magazine.
00:51:51.500 --> 00:51:53.000
- He's pullin' out the porn.
- He's desperate.
00:51:53.500 --> 00:51:55.000
[ Finch ] Jim, just wait
till she leaves.
00:51:55.500 --> 00:51:58.000
Very arousing women.
They arouse me-- [ Clears Throat ]
00:51:58.500 --> 00:52:00.000
They arouse me
very, very much.
00:52:00.500 --> 00:52:04.000
But, uh--
But not as arousing as you.
00:52:04.500 --> 00:52:08.000
- Oh, Jim !
- Oh, God !
00:52:08.500 --> 00:52:10.000
[ Coos ]
00:52:12.500 --> 00:52:16.000
- [ Together ] Yes !
- [ All Exclaiming ]
00:52:16.500 --> 00:52:18.000
He's ruining daisy !
Whoo !
00:52:18.500 --> 00:52:21.000
-- [ Continues ]
00:52:21.500 --> 00:52:25.000
So, uh, "shaved"
is the expression ?
00:52:28.500 --> 00:52:30.000
Holy shit.
00:52:30.500 --> 00:52:33.000
- Holy shit !
- [ All ] Holy shit !
00:52:34.500 --> 00:52:36.000
- H-H-Holy shit !
- Touch me, Jim.
00:52:39.500 --> 00:52:41.000
- Here.
- [ Gasps ]
00:52:41.500 --> 00:52:44.000
[ Groans ]
Oh. Oh.
00:52:44.500 --> 00:52:47.000
- [ Together ] Again ?
- Not again.
00:52:47.500 --> 00:52:50.000
- Not again, man !
- Is that possible ?
00:52:50.500 --> 00:52:52.000
What a loser.
00:52:52.500 --> 00:52:53.000
What a loser.
00:52:53.500 --> 00:52:56.000
[ Bell Ringing ]
00:52:56.500 --> 00:52:58.000
- [ Laughing ]
- [ Boy ] Hey !
00:53:05.500 --> 00:53:08.000
[ Laughing Continues ]
00:53:10.500 --> 00:53:12.000
[ Whooping, Taunting ]
00:53:16.500 --> 00:53:19.000
[ Chattering ]
00:53:19.500 --> 00:53:24.000
[ Oz ] - I needed someone
to understand my ups and downs -
00:53:24.500 --> 00:53:27.000
- There you were -
00:53:27.500 --> 00:53:32.000
- With sweet love
and devotion -
00:53:32.500 --> 00:53:34.000
- Deeply touching
my emotion -
00:53:34.500 --> 00:53:39.000
- I just wanna stop
and thank you, baby --**
00:53:41.500 --> 00:53:44.000
- Hey, minute man !
- Shut up.
00:53:44.500 --> 00:53:46.000
You know-- You know you're
supposed to be supportive.
00:53:46.500 --> 00:53:50.000
Hey, you think you still
got a chance with Nadia ?
00:53:50.500 --> 00:53:53.000
No. Her sponsors here
saw the thing on the 'Net.
00:53:53.500 --> 00:53:55.000
I-l really don't
think they liked it.
00:53:55.500 --> 00:53:58.000
How do
you know that ?
00:53:58.500 --> 00:54:00.000
- She's already on a plane back home.
- [ Groans ]
00:54:00.500 --> 00:54:02.000
Yeah.
00:54:02.500 --> 00:54:06.000
You know, guys ? Maybe I'm just
not good with girls, period.
00:54:06.500 --> 00:54:09.000
No-no-no, really-really. Like-- Like I
was born without that part of the brain.
00:54:09.500 --> 00:54:11.000
I mean, I can't
talk to girls.
00:54:11.500 --> 00:54:13.000
And when I do talk
to them, I screw it up.
00:54:14.500 --> 00:54:17.000
Yeah, well, come prom those excuses
aren't going to do you any good.
00:54:18.500 --> 00:54:22.000
- [ Sighs ]
- [ Michelle ] And one time at band camp,
00:54:22.500 --> 00:54:24.000
we weren't supposed
to have pillow fights,
00:54:24.500 --> 00:54:28.000
but we had a pillow fight,
and it was so much fun.
00:54:28.500 --> 00:54:33.000
A-And this one time, we all
lost our music and we were supposed to play this song,
00:54:33.500 --> 00:54:38.000
but we didn't know it, so we just made
it up and we kept playing and playing,
00:54:38.500 --> 00:54:42.000
and the conductor didn't know
what we were doing, and it was so funny.
00:54:42.500 --> 00:54:44.000
-So, you're pissed about somethin', huh.
-[ Scoffs ]
00:54:45.500 --> 00:54:46.000
You know what
I do when I'm angry ?
00:54:47.500 --> 00:54:50.000
I just play some Bach on my flute.
It's so relaxing.
00:54:50.500 --> 00:54:53.000
- I learned to do that at band camp.
- Hold on, uh--
00:54:53.500 --> 00:54:56.000
You have no idea
why I'm angry ?
00:54:57.500 --> 00:55:00.000
Is it because we have a test tomorrow ?
Sometimes I get cranky...
00:55:00.500 --> 00:55:03.000
- when I know I have
a big test to study for. - [ Laughs ]
00:55:03.500 --> 00:55:07.000
- Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much it.
- I thought so...
00:55:07.500 --> 00:55:10.000
- because this one time at band camp--
- W-What's your name ?
00:55:10.500 --> 00:55:12.000
- Michelle.
- O-Okay.
00:55:12.500 --> 00:55:14.000
Michelle, um--
00:55:14.500 --> 00:55:17.000
[ Chuckles ] Do you want to be
my date for the prom ?
00:55:17.500 --> 00:55:21.000
Really ? You seriously
want to go with me ?
00:55:24.500 --> 00:55:27.000
Yes. Seriously.
00:55:27.500 --> 00:55:31.000
Are we going to Steve Stifler's
party afterwards ? Because that would be so cool.
00:55:31.500 --> 00:55:36.000
- Sure, whatever you want.
- Cool ! We're gonna have such a good time.
00:55:36.500 --> 00:55:42.000
It'll be like this one time at band camp
when we all had a campfire--
00:55:43.500 --> 00:55:45.000
[ Knocking At Door ]
00:55:50.500 --> 00:55:51.000
[ Siren Wailing, Distant ]
00:55:56.500 --> 00:55:59.000
Hi.
00:55:59.500 --> 00:56:03.000
- How'd you know I was here ?
- Stifler told me.
00:56:03.500 --> 00:56:07.000
- Talked to Stifler ?
- Well, I needed to find you.
00:56:07.500 --> 00:56:09.000
We're gonna have
to work on that song.
00:56:10.500 --> 00:56:13.000
Okay.
I'm glad you came by.
00:56:13.500 --> 00:56:15.000
So you work nights ?
00:56:17.500 --> 00:56:20.000
- My dad's the manager.
- Really ?
00:56:20.500 --> 00:56:23.000
Cool. Tell him
the subs are great.
00:56:26.500 --> 00:56:28.000
-So you're going to Michigan next year ?
-Yeah.
00:56:28.500 --> 00:56:31.000
My parents want me to go
to Northwestern, but...
00:56:31.500 --> 00:56:34.000
I don't wanna write all those
extra essays they make you do.
00:56:34.500 --> 00:56:40.000
I mean, how am I supposed to
know what my "most emotionally significant moment" was ?
00:56:40.500 --> 00:56:45.000
So when my "U" of "M" acceptance came in
December, I just said the hell with it.
00:56:45.500 --> 00:56:47.000
- Onions ?
- What ?
00:56:47.500 --> 00:56:49.000
You, uh, want onions ?
00:56:49.500 --> 00:56:51.000
Oh, no, thank you.
00:56:54.500 --> 00:56:57.000
So what are you
gonna major in ?
00:56:57.500 --> 00:57:01.000
State's got a good business
school, and I could probably walk-on to the lacrosse team.
00:57:01.500 --> 00:57:05.000
Well, you've probably got it
pretty figured out, then, huh ?
00:57:05.500 --> 00:57:09.000
I mean, business is okay,
and lacrosse is awesome, but...
00:57:09.500 --> 00:57:12.000
what am I gonna be,
a professional lacrosse player ?
00:57:12.500 --> 00:57:14.000
I really have no idea.
00:57:14.500 --> 00:57:17.000
Thank God.
I thought I was the only one.
00:57:17.500 --> 00:57:19.000
Well, you're not.
00:57:21.500 --> 00:57:23.000
So we're gonna be
close next year.
00:57:31.500 --> 00:57:33.000
You mean East Lansing
and Ann Arbor ?
00:57:33.500 --> 00:57:36.000
Yeah.
[ Chuckling ]
00:57:36.500 --> 00:57:38.000
[ Stifler ] What are you
talkin' about ?
00:57:38.500 --> 00:57:42.000
I can't go to the prom with you.
I'm holding out for someone else.
00:57:42.500 --> 00:57:44.000
[ Laughing ]
You gotta be fuckin' kidding me.
00:57:44.500 --> 00:57:49.000
I know it's a long shot, but I figure
Paul Finch might ask me.
00:57:49.500 --> 00:57:53.000
Finch.
Shit-brick.
00:57:53.500 --> 00:57:56.000
Oh, gosh.
I-l forgot.
00:57:56.500 --> 00:57:58.000
[ Stammering ]
You look okay.
00:57:58.500 --> 00:58:02.000
I-l mean, the scars
healed really well.
00:58:02.500 --> 00:58:04.000
- Hey, Stifler.
- Eat shit.
00:58:07.500 --> 00:58:08.000
What was that
all about ?
00:58:09.500 --> 00:58:13.000
- He's still embarrassed
because Finch kicked his ass. - Who told you that ?
00:58:13.500 --> 00:58:15.000
What do you mean,
"no comment" ?
00:58:15.500 --> 00:58:18.000
- Did you two hook up or something ?
- What, are you kidding ? No.
00:58:18.500 --> 00:58:22.000
Then how did all this
get started ?
00:58:22.500 --> 00:58:25.000
Well, I guess it's all right
for me to tell you now.
00:58:25.500 --> 00:58:29.000
That reputation of his isn't
going anywhere. Cheese, please.
00:58:29.500 --> 00:58:32.000
Finch comes up to me
and says, "Jessica,
00:58:32.500 --> 00:58:34.000
I need your help with this,
blah, blah, etcetera."
00:58:34.500 --> 00:58:37.000
So I said, "All right.
Pay me 200 bucks,
00:58:37.500 --> 00:58:40.000
and I'll tell a couple of girls
that you're dynamite in bed."
00:58:40.500 --> 00:58:42.000
So he did,
and I did.
00:58:43.500 --> 00:58:45.000
- That actually works ?
- Well, duh ! Of course.
00:58:45.500 --> 00:58:47.000
Naturally, I embellished
a little bit.
00:58:47.500 --> 00:58:50.000
Did you hear that Finch had
an affair with an older woman ?
00:58:50.500 --> 00:58:52.000
[ Chuckling ]
No, I didn't hear that one.
00:58:52.500 --> 00:58:54.000
That one was my favorite.
00:58:55.500 --> 00:58:57.000
[ Laughing ]
Do that cheerleader.
00:58:57.500 --> 00:59:00.000
- - Thank you, baby -
- She wants me. She calls me up--
00:59:00.500 --> 00:59:05.000
- How sweet it is
to be loved by you --**
00:59:05.500 --> 00:59:08.000
Oh, my God,
you're gay !
00:59:08.500 --> 00:59:10.000
Sing it with me.
You know the words.
00:59:10.500 --> 00:59:13.000
No, thanks, man. You've been
singin' that shit all week.
00:59:13.500 --> 00:59:17.000
If you try that at M.S.U.
this Saturday, I'll kick your ass.
00:59:17.500 --> 00:59:19.000
Our last game
is this Saturday.
00:59:19.500 --> 00:59:21.000
[ Snickers ]
Yeah, well, shit.
00:59:24.500 --> 00:59:28.000
I've got this lacrosse game. It's
really important. It's our last game.
00:59:28.500 --> 00:59:32.000
Central almost beat us last time, so
this time I really wanna kick their ass.
00:59:32.500 --> 00:59:35.000
But it's gonna be cool,
because the game's at State,
00:59:35.500 --> 00:59:38.000
which means afterwards
I'll be able to stop by.
00:59:38.500 --> 00:59:40.000
So you can't sing
at the competition.
00:59:40.500 --> 00:59:42.000
[ Sighing ] Heather, I'm sorry.
I totally blew it.
00:59:42.500 --> 00:59:47.000
It's okay. You should...
do what makes you happy.
00:59:49.500 --> 00:59:53.000
All right. Listen,
thanks for understanding.
00:59:53.500 --> 00:59:55.000
Yeah.
00:59:55.500 --> 00:59:58.000
So, uh, I guess
I'll see you later ?
00:59:58.500 --> 01:00:01.000
Mm-hmm.
01:00:10.500 --> 01:00:13.000
[ Whistling ]
01:00:13.500 --> 01:00:16.000
Hey, Kevin.
01:00:16.500 --> 01:00:21.000
- You seen shit-brick lately ?
- Why ? What did you do to him ?
01:00:21.500 --> 01:00:23.000
Me ? Nothing.
01:00:23.500 --> 01:00:26.000
See, I'm the one
whose ass he kicked.
01:00:26.500 --> 01:00:29.000
But, uh, I'll tell you
one thing, though.
01:00:29.500 --> 01:00:33.000
I don't think he's gonna have a problem
shitting in school anymore.
01:00:33.500 --> 01:00:35.000
Slipped a little something
into his mochaccino.
01:00:37.500 --> 01:00:40.000
Oh, God !
01:00:41.500 --> 01:00:43.000
Oh ! Oh !
01:00:43.500 --> 01:00:46.000
[ Panting ]
01:00:49.500 --> 01:00:51.000
Jesus.
01:00:52.500 --> 01:00:54.000
Right this way,
sir.
01:01:00.500 --> 01:01:03.000
Oh, God.
[ Farting ]
01:01:08.500 --> 01:01:11.000
[ Farting ]
01:01:17.500 --> 01:01:19.000
[ Farting ]
01:01:31.500 --> 01:01:34.000
- [ Girls Laughing ]
- Oh, no.
01:01:35.500 --> 01:01:37.000
It's gonna be fun.
01:01:37.500 --> 01:01:39.000
[ Girl #2 ] You know it's just gonna be
some crappy band and stupid decorations.
01:01:39.500 --> 01:01:43.000
[ Girl #1 ] You're just saying
that because prom's a week away and you don't have a date.
01:01:43.500 --> 01:01:46.000
[ Girl #2 ] No, no, no.
I don't want a date.
01:01:46.500 --> 01:01:50.000
- Finch is goin' stag and... so am l.
- [ Groaning ]
01:01:50.500 --> 01:01:54.000
God, he's like so...
refined.
01:01:54.500 --> 01:01:57.000
- [ Groans ]
- You think that older woman thing is true ?
01:01:57.500 --> 01:02:00.000
Yeah, it's true.
It was Stifler's mom.
01:02:00.500 --> 01:02:02.000
[ Farting ]
01:02:02.500 --> 01:02:06.000
- [ Continues Farting ]
- Joanie, was that you ?
01:02:06.500 --> 01:02:08.000
- Oh !
- Can't hold it.
01:02:08.500 --> 01:02:11.000
Oh !
[ Loud Farting ]
01:02:13.500 --> 01:02:15.000
[ Groaning ]
01:02:15.500 --> 01:02:17.000
Eww !
01:02:17.500 --> 01:02:20.000
[ Groaning ]
01:02:30.500 --> 01:02:35.000
[ Whistling ]
01:02:35.500 --> 01:02:38.000
[ Laughter ]
01:02:40.500 --> 01:02:44.000
- Yeah !
- [ Laughter Continues ]
01:02:44.500 --> 01:02:47.000
[ Vicky ] Kev ?
I think we've come...
01:02:47.500 --> 01:02:51.000
- a really long way since homecoming.
- Yeah, we have.
01:02:51.500 --> 01:02:53.000
Maybe it's time...
01:02:53.500 --> 01:02:57.000
we start to express ourselves
in new ways.
01:02:57.500 --> 01:02:59.000
- Yeah.
- You wanna do it ?
01:02:59.500 --> 01:03:02.000
- Yeah.
- I love you.
01:03:04.500 --> 01:03:06.000
It's your turn.
01:03:07.500 --> 01:03:10.000
That's not
what I was thinking.
01:03:10.500 --> 01:03:14.000
Sex. It's always
about sex.
01:03:14.500 --> 01:03:17.000
It's not
always about sex.
01:03:17.500 --> 01:03:20.000
I just thought it was
about sex this time.
01:03:24.500 --> 01:03:28.000
Look, Vicky, love is a term
that gets thrown around,
01:03:28.500 --> 01:03:30.000
and-and people
don't mean it.
01:03:30.500 --> 01:03:33.000
When I say it, I want it
to be more than words.
01:03:33.500 --> 01:03:36.000
- You know ? I want it to be--
- Perfect.
01:03:38.500 --> 01:03:40.000
Exactly.
01:03:40.500 --> 01:03:43.000
- [ Choir Director ] Okay, Albert.
You ready ? - No problemo.
01:03:44.500 --> 01:03:48.000
- I close my eyes
at night -
01:03:48.500 --> 01:03:51.000
Come on, Heather.
Work with me here.
01:03:51.500 --> 01:03:53.000
[ Crowd Applauding, Cheering ]
01:03:56.500 --> 01:03:59.000
- [ Whistle Blows ]
- [ Announcer ] Goal, Ostreicher !
01:03:59.500 --> 01:04:03.000
- All right, Oz !
- Atta boy, Ozzie !
01:04:03.500 --> 01:04:05.000
Whoo !
Yeah, baby !
01:04:05.500 --> 01:04:07.000
- We're crushing you losers !
- Let's go, fellas !
01:04:07.500 --> 01:04:09.000
Come on !
Whoo-hoo !
01:04:11.500 --> 01:04:16.000
- Bumblebee, bumblebee,
bumblebee, bumblebee, bumblebee -
01:04:16.500 --> 01:04:18.000
Focus on the music.
Think melody.
01:04:18.500 --> 01:04:21.000
- Let the music be my guide.
- That would be a start.
01:04:32.500 --> 01:04:34.000
Who's the man ?
Stifler !
01:04:37.500 --> 01:04:39.000
[ Coach ]
Huddle up, guys ! Huddle up !
01:04:47.500 --> 01:04:51.000
Huddle up !
Come on ! Okay.
01:04:51.500 --> 01:04:53.000
All right, all right !
01:04:53.500 --> 01:04:55.000
- Good hustle, guys.
- Good hustle.
01:04:55.500 --> 01:05:00.000
But you can still lose. You all saw
what happened to Oz out there.
01:05:00.500 --> 01:05:05.000
I don't want to ever see any of you
thinking you're gonna score.
01:05:05.500 --> 01:05:08.000
You don't score
until you score.
01:05:09.500 --> 01:05:11.000
- Until you score.
- That's right, baby !
01:05:11.500 --> 01:05:13.000
[ Coach ] It all boils down
to today.
01:05:13.500 --> 01:05:17.000
For you seniors,
this marks the culmination...
01:05:17.500 --> 01:05:20.000
- of the past four years.
- Culmination.
01:05:21.500 --> 01:05:25.000
[ Coach ] I want you to think about
what this means to you.
01:05:25.500 --> 01:05:28.000
Do you guys wanna look back
on your days at East...
01:05:28.500 --> 01:05:32.000
and know that you used
the time you had ?
01:05:32.500 --> 01:05:35.000
- Hell, yeah !
- You do !
01:05:37.500 --> 01:05:40.000
- Ah ! Good attitude, Ostreicher.
- Good luck, fellas.
01:05:40.500 --> 01:05:44.000
Christ, I didn't tell ya
to leave the game.
01:05:44.500 --> 01:05:46.000
I'm sorry, Coach.
01:05:46.500 --> 01:05:49.000
You got someplace more important
to be, Ostreicher ?
01:05:49.500 --> 01:05:51.000
Yeah.
01:05:51.500 --> 01:05:53.000
Ostreicher !
01:05:54.500 --> 01:05:58.000
Oz ?
Fuckface ?
01:05:58.500 --> 01:06:01.000
[ Coach ] Ostreicher !
01:06:26.500 --> 01:06:28.000
- Hey, Oz !
- Ozmeister !
01:06:29.500 --> 01:06:31.000
- [ Albert ] Oh, great.
- What about the game ?
01:06:31.500 --> 01:06:34.000
- I'm not playing.
- You're missing the game for us ?
01:06:34.500 --> 01:06:37.000
No, I'm missing the game
for you.
01:06:40.500 --> 01:06:44.000
- D-Does this mean I'm not
gonna get to do the duet ? - Albert, you suck.
01:06:49.500 --> 01:06:51.000
I don't think
he's comin' back.
01:06:51.500 --> 01:06:53.000
[ Heather ] - Close my eyes at night -
01:06:53.500 --> 01:06:58.000
- - Close my eyes -
- - Wonderin' where would I be without you in my life -
01:06:58.500 --> 01:07:02.000
- - Oh -
- - Everything I did was just a bore -
01:07:02.500 --> 01:07:07.000
- - Just a bore -
- - Everywhere I went seems I been there before -
01:07:07.500 --> 01:07:12.000
[ Together ] - But you brighten up
for me all of my days -
01:07:12.500 --> 01:07:15.000
- - With a love so sweet -
- - ln so many ways -
01:07:15.500 --> 01:07:17.000
- I just wanna stop -
01:07:17.500 --> 01:07:22.000
- - And thank you, baby -
- [ All ] - I just wanna stop -
01:07:22.500 --> 01:07:25.000
- - And thank you, baby -
- - Thank you, baby -
01:07:25.500 --> 01:07:30.000
- How sweet it is
to be loved by you --**
01:07:30.500 --> 01:07:33.000
[ Audience Applauding ]
01:07:33.500 --> 01:07:35.000
Yeah, Oz !
You fuckin' rule !
01:07:35.500 --> 01:07:38.000
- Fuckin' rule !
- Yeah !
01:07:41.500 --> 01:07:43.000
[ Vicky ] Maybe the words
aren't that important.
01:07:43.500 --> 01:07:45.000
It's like, I know he
really cares about me, you know ?
01:07:45.500 --> 01:07:47.000
Even if he can't
say it, he does.
01:07:47.500 --> 01:07:51.000
And yeah, he always talks about sex, but
that's okay, 'cause he's a guy, right ?
01:07:51.500 --> 01:07:54.000
- He's got a dick. He's a guy.
- Right.
01:07:54.500 --> 01:07:56.000
Wait. Is this
translation right ?
01:07:56.500 --> 01:07:59.000
"Go home, bird teacher.
I've had enough."
01:07:59.500 --> 01:08:02.000
I don't know.
I got it from Kevin.
01:08:02.500 --> 01:08:06.000
- So, does it hurt ?
- What ?
01:08:06.500 --> 01:08:09.000
You know-- sex.
Does it hurt ?
01:08:09.500 --> 01:08:13.000
Yeah. I mean, the first time you do it,
you know, it hurts.
01:08:13.500 --> 01:08:17.000
But then you, you do it again
and again and again--
01:08:17.500 --> 01:08:21.000
It just starts to feel good.
Really good.
01:08:21.500 --> 01:08:24.000
Okay, so say
I don't do it.
01:08:24.500 --> 01:08:29.000
And then I go off to college. I might
end up doing it with some random guy...
01:08:29.500 --> 01:08:32.000
- who totally turns out to be a jerk.
- This is true.
01:08:32.500 --> 01:08:35.000
And I'll wish I would've
done it with Kevin.
01:08:35.500 --> 01:08:37.000
So go do it with Kevin.
01:08:38.500 --> 01:08:41.000
- You think ?
- Yeah. You're-- You're ready.
01:08:41.500 --> 01:08:45.000
- You're woman. Look at you.
You're ready for sex. - You're right.
01:08:45.500 --> 01:08:47.000
- I know.
- I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna have sex.
01:08:48.500 --> 01:08:50.000
- Now.
- And it's gonna be right, and it's gonna be just perfect.
01:08:50.500 --> 01:08:52.000
- Perfect sex.
- Thanks, Jessica.
01:08:53.500 --> 01:08:55.000
Please.
01:08:55.500 --> 01:08:58.000
[ Whispering ]
Kevin.
01:08:58.500 --> 01:09:00.000
Kevin.
01:09:02.500 --> 01:09:05.000
- [ Whispering ] I wanna have sex.
- [ Loud ] Now ?
01:09:10.500 --> 01:09:12.000
Prom.
01:09:14.500 --> 01:09:20.000
- As you walk up those steps
and garner your award -
01:09:20.500 --> 01:09:24.000
- Try not to forget about me -
01:09:24.500 --> 01:09:27.000
- 'Cause I was there when you
had no one else to hold -
01:09:30.500 --> 01:09:33.000
- You used to look
just like a saint -
01:09:33.500 --> 01:09:35.000
- And stumble into walls -
01:09:35.500 --> 01:09:39.000
- You're a guy's
very own quarantine -
01:09:39.500 --> 01:09:43.000
- You used to never
think you'd ever grow old --**
01:09:54.500 --> 01:09:56.000
[ Jim's Dad ] You must be excited
about the big night tonight.
01:09:56.500 --> 01:09:59.000
Thrilled.
01:09:59.500 --> 01:10:00.000
Who's the lucky girl ?
01:10:00.500 --> 01:10:02.000
Who's the lucky girl ?
01:10:02.500 --> 01:10:04.000
Michelle.
01:10:04.500 --> 01:10:07.000
- Michelle.
- Yeah.
01:10:07.500 --> 01:10:11.000
- She must be very special.
- Oh, she's special, all right.
01:10:11.500 --> 01:10:14.000
I'm sure she is special if you
picked her out of the whole bunch.
01:10:17.500 --> 01:10:20.000
[ Clears Throat ] Jim, I'm just gonna
say one thing...
01:10:20.500 --> 01:10:22.000
before you leave
tonight.
01:10:23.500 --> 01:10:28.000
I want you to be very,
very careful...
01:10:28.500 --> 01:10:30.000
when you're
putting on...
01:10:30.500 --> 01:10:33.000
the corsage.
01:10:36.500 --> 01:10:38.000
Okay, Dad.
01:10:38.500 --> 01:10:40.000
- Promise me.
- I promise.
01:11:01.500 --> 01:11:05.000
- Midnight at the oasis -
01:11:06.500 --> 01:11:09.000
- Send your camel to bed -
01:11:11.500 --> 01:11:15.000
- Shadows painting our faces -
01:11:15.500 --> 01:11:18.000
- Traces -
01:11:18.500 --> 01:11:22.000
- Of romance in our heads -
01:11:22.500 --> 01:11:25.000
- Heaven's holding a half-moon -
01:11:27.500 --> 01:11:30.000
- Shining just for us -
01:11:32.500 --> 01:11:36.000
- Let's slip off
to a sand dune -
01:11:36.500 --> 01:11:38.000
- Real soon -
01:11:38.500 --> 01:11:41.000
- And kick up a little dust -
01:11:41.500 --> 01:11:46.000
- Come on
Cactus is our friend -
01:11:46.500 --> 01:11:51.000
- He'll point out the way -
01:11:51.500 --> 01:11:53.000
You know, at band camp
we have dances like this,
01:11:53.500 --> 01:11:56.000
only they're way funner.
01:11:57.500 --> 01:12:00.000
- Till the evenin' ends --**
01:12:00.500 --> 01:12:05.000
- Hey, hey, hey
Oooh -
01:12:10.500 --> 01:12:13.000
[ Kevin ] All right, status check.
Where do you guys stand ?
01:12:14.500 --> 01:12:17.000
Finch, we know where you are,
but can't really use that as an excuse.
01:12:17.500 --> 01:12:19.000
Jim ?
01:12:19.500 --> 01:12:24.000
Uh, my date's a flute-toting band dork.
Does that answer your question ?
01:12:24.500 --> 01:12:27.000
Oz, is this vocal-jazz shit
gonna pay off or what ?
01:12:27.500 --> 01:12:30.000
Kevin, what's with
the attitude ?
01:12:30.500 --> 01:12:33.000
Attitude ? Me ?
01:12:33.500 --> 01:12:36.000
I think you guys should be
a little more enthusiastic.
01:12:36.500 --> 01:12:38.000
This is the night
we've been waiting for.
01:12:38.500 --> 01:12:41.000
We're in this together.
You guys can't back out.
01:12:41.500 --> 01:12:44.000
Kev, you don't need us to get laid.
Are you afraid or something ?
01:12:44.500 --> 01:12:48.000
No. Come on.
We made a pact.
01:12:48.500 --> 01:12:51.000
You can't break that.
You guys are gonna have to--
01:12:51.500 --> 01:12:55.000
Have to what, Kev, huh ?
I don't have to do shit.
01:12:55.500 --> 01:12:59.000
Forget it already. I am so sick
and tired of all this bullshit pressure.
01:12:59.500 --> 01:13:03.000
I've never even had sex, and already,
I can't stand it. I hate sex !
01:13:04.500 --> 01:13:07.000
And I'm not gonna stand around here
busting my balls over something that,
01:13:07.500 --> 01:13:09.000
quite frankly,
isn't that damn important.
01:13:09.500 --> 01:13:11.000
I'm gonna go hang out
with that geek over there...
01:13:11.500 --> 01:13:14.000
'cause at least she has something else
to talk about besides sex.
01:13:14.500 --> 01:13:16.000
Goddamn.
01:13:18.500 --> 01:13:21.000
Yeah.
01:13:21.500 --> 01:13:24.000
You know, at least I learned
how to shit in school, buddy.
01:13:25.500 --> 01:13:27.000
Hey, Finch.
01:13:27.500 --> 01:13:29.000
- Wanna dance ?
- Yeah.
01:13:29.500 --> 01:13:33.000
- Oooh -
01:13:35.500 --> 01:13:38.000
- How come you have no date ?
- I like to keep my options open.
01:13:38.500 --> 01:13:40.000
I got something for you.
01:13:42.500 --> 01:13:45.000
Consider it
a consolation prize.
01:13:48.500 --> 01:13:51.000
Jessica, this is great !
Wow !
01:13:51.500 --> 01:13:55.000
- Felt sorta guilty
01:13:55.500 --> 01:13:58.000
No, I spent 50 on the flask,
150 on the earrings.
01:14:00.500 --> 01:14:02.000
- These are, uh--
- Let me just clarify...
01:14:02.500 --> 01:14:07.000
- that you have no chance
of scoring with me, Finch. - Of course not !
01:14:07.500 --> 01:14:09.000
So I take it you and Sherman
are pretty close, huh ?
01:14:10.500 --> 01:14:12.000
You met at that party
a while back, right ?
01:14:12.500 --> 01:14:14.000
Yeah, we were
up all night together.
01:14:14.500 --> 01:14:17.000
We had one of those
amazingly deep conversations...
01:14:17.500 --> 01:14:20.000
where you feel like
you really get to know someone.
01:14:20.500 --> 01:14:23.000
[ Chuckling ]
Deep conversation, huh ?
01:14:23.500 --> 01:14:25.000
Is that
what you call it ?
01:14:26.500 --> 01:14:28.000
What else
would I call it ?
01:14:34.500 --> 01:14:36.000
Thank you, Great Falls.
01:14:36.500 --> 01:14:39.000
We're gonna take a little break.
You are beautiful.
01:14:44.500 --> 01:14:46.000
[ Boy ] You suck !
01:14:46.500 --> 01:14:48.000
[ Microphone Feedback ]
01:14:49.500 --> 01:14:51.000
Excuse me, everyone.
01:14:51.500 --> 01:14:53.000
Sorry to interrupt.
01:14:53.500 --> 01:14:56.000
I just thought
you all should know this.
01:14:56.500 --> 01:14:59.000
Chuck Sherman is a liar.
01:14:59.500 --> 01:15:01.000
I never had sex with him.
01:15:01.500 --> 01:15:05.000
He's never had sex with anyone.
I know this because he told me.
01:15:05.500 --> 01:15:09.000
Once he tried to screw
a grapefruit, but that's all.
01:15:09.500 --> 01:15:13.000
Oh. He also told me that when he gets
nervous, he sometimes wets his pants.
01:15:13.500 --> 01:15:17.000
- Thank you for your time.
- [ Crowd Chattering, Laughing ]
01:15:22.500 --> 01:15:24.000
[ Jim Clears Throat ]
01:15:30.500 --> 01:15:33.000
- [ Jim ] Guess what ?
- Not interested.
01:15:33.500 --> 01:15:37.000
Kevin. Come on, man. The bus
to Stifler's is gonna be here soon.
01:15:37.500 --> 01:15:39.000
- I'm not going.
- [ Jim ] What ?
01:15:39.500 --> 01:15:43.000
Why not ?
01:15:43.500 --> 01:15:48.000
Look, things didn't really
turn out how I wanted them to.
01:15:48.500 --> 01:15:50.000
I mean, I don't even
know what I'm doin'.
01:15:50.500 --> 01:15:54.000
I-l'm acting like I've got
everything together tonight.
01:15:54.500 --> 01:15:57.000
I know that Vicky's gonna
ask me if I love her, and...
01:15:57.500 --> 01:15:59.000
I don't know
what I'm gonna say.
01:15:59.500 --> 01:16:01.000
I mean,
I'm on the brink.
01:16:01.500 --> 01:16:05.000
I'm just about to do it.
I should be psyched.
01:16:05.500 --> 01:16:09.000
I don't know. Maybe you're right.
Maybe I am just scared.
01:16:09.500 --> 01:16:13.000
[ Scoffs ] Come on, Kev.
Tonight is the night.
01:16:13.500 --> 01:16:17.000
We-We are finally going
to a post-prom party on the lake.
01:16:17.500 --> 01:16:19.000
We have been waiting for this
for four years.
01:16:19.500 --> 01:16:22.000
Why else have we been friends
with Stifler all this time, right ?
01:16:23.500 --> 01:16:26.000
We were friends
with Stifler ?
01:16:26.500 --> 01:16:28.000
Hey, look.
01:16:29.500 --> 01:16:32.000
Sherman didn't even
get laid.
01:16:32.500 --> 01:16:34.000
- He didn't ?
- No, he pissed himself.
01:16:35.500 --> 01:16:37.000
- [ Laughing ]
- What ?
01:16:38.500 --> 01:16:40.000
We'll tell you
on the bus.
01:16:40.500 --> 01:16:44.000
I'm gonna go inside
and grab my bag.
01:16:44.500 --> 01:16:46.000
My date too, perhaps ?
01:16:48.500 --> 01:16:50.000
[ Jim ] Stifler's mom
got it in the divorce.
01:16:50.500 --> 01:16:52.000
[ Michelle ] That reminds me
of this one time--
01:16:52.500 --> 01:16:55.000
Hey, can I ask you
a question ?
01:16:55.500 --> 01:16:58.000
How come you don't have any stories ?
I've got lots of them,
01:16:58.500 --> 01:17:00.000
and you don't have any.
01:17:00.500 --> 01:17:03.000
Oh, I've got stories.
Believe me. They're just, uh--
01:17:03.500 --> 01:17:06.000
They're just a little
more risque than tales of band camp.
01:17:06.500 --> 01:17:11.000
Are they gross or something ?
Like guy stuff ? Tell me !
01:17:11.500 --> 01:17:13.000
Okay.
You want a story ?
01:17:13.500 --> 01:17:15.000
Here's a story.
Stifler finds this beer--
01:17:19.500 --> 01:17:23.000
- [ Kevin ] This is
the nicest room in the house. - Kev, it's perfect.
01:17:34.500 --> 01:17:37.000
- [ Vicky Screams ]
- You guys are gonna fuck, aren't ya ?
01:17:37.500 --> 01:17:40.000
Fuckers !
Fuckers, fuckers !
01:17:40.500 --> 01:17:42.000
Fuckers,
fuckers, fuckers !
01:17:44.500 --> 01:17:46.000
- Out.
- Aw, come on !
01:17:46.500 --> 01:17:49.000
- Get out.
- Aw, man !
01:17:51.500 --> 01:17:55.000
- [ Laughing ]
- [ Laughing ]
01:18:07.500 --> 01:18:09.000
There's something
I've been meaning to tell you, Heather.
01:18:09.500 --> 01:18:11.000
What's that ?
01:18:11.500 --> 01:18:14.000
It's gonna sound
really bad, but, uh,
01:18:14.500 --> 01:18:16.000
I want you to know.
01:18:16.500 --> 01:18:19.000
You see, uh,
01:18:19.500 --> 01:18:24.000
I'm a virgin,
and, uh--
01:18:24.500 --> 01:18:26.000
Well, me, Kevin, Jim
and Finch were--
01:18:26.500 --> 01:18:29.000
We all made this pact...
01:18:29.500 --> 01:18:32.000
that we would
lose our virginity...
01:18:32.500 --> 01:18:34.000
before high school
was over,
01:18:34.500 --> 01:18:37.000
and tonight is supposed
to be the night that we all do it.
01:18:39.500 --> 01:18:41.000
This isn't the best way
to proposition me.
01:18:41.500 --> 01:18:44.000
No, that's--
That's not what I mean.
01:18:44.500 --> 01:18:47.000
W-What I mean is, uh--
01:18:48.500 --> 01:18:50.000
Look, do you know
what made me leave that game ?
01:18:50.500 --> 01:18:54.000
See, Coach, he was givin' us
this speech about...
01:18:54.500 --> 01:18:57.000
not slacking off when you see
the opportunity to score--
01:18:57.500 --> 01:18:59.000
This isn't any better,
Chris.
01:18:59.500 --> 01:19:01.000
No, you see--
You see, Heather,
01:19:02.500 --> 01:19:04.000
what I realized is that...
01:19:04.500 --> 01:19:09.000
with you, it's...
not like I'm running towards a goal...
01:19:09.500 --> 01:19:12.000
Iooking for
the best way to score.
01:19:12.500 --> 01:19:16.000
This may sound
a little corny, but...
01:19:16.500 --> 01:19:18.000
I feel like
I've already won.
01:19:21.500 --> 01:19:25.000
And, uh,
I care about you a lot.
01:19:26.500 --> 01:19:29.000
Oz, I know.
01:19:30.500 --> 01:19:33.000
- You called me Oz.
- Well, yeah.
01:19:33.500 --> 01:19:35.000
It's what your friends
call you.
01:19:35.500 --> 01:19:38.000
I mean, I feel like I'm
one of your friends now.
01:19:38.500 --> 01:19:42.000
And... your girlfriend ?
01:19:44.500 --> 01:19:49.000
- Ain't never thought that
I could love like this -
01:19:49.500 --> 01:19:52.000
- This feeling inside me
is growing -
01:19:52.500 --> 01:19:57.000
- I never thought that
you would care --**
01:20:16.500 --> 01:20:18.000
Are ya lost ?
01:20:22.500 --> 01:20:25.000
You're Stifler's mom.
Uh--
01:20:25.500 --> 01:20:28.000
No, no, not lost.
Just, um,
01:20:28.500 --> 01:20:30.000
you know,
taking the tour.
01:20:33.500 --> 01:20:37.000
Hey, uh, thank you for letting
us have this wonderful party.
01:20:37.500 --> 01:20:39.000
As if there was
an alternative in the matter.
01:20:44.500 --> 01:20:47.000
So, you enjoying yourself ?
01:20:47.500 --> 01:20:50.000
I'm... three sheets
to the wind, ma'am.
01:20:50.500 --> 01:20:53.000
I'm so happy for you.
01:20:53.500 --> 01:20:55.000
But it takes the edge off,
doesn't it ?
01:20:57.500 --> 01:21:00.000
- Where's your little date tonight ?
- No date. It was--
01:21:00.500 --> 01:21:02.000
It was a bathroom incident.
01:21:03.500 --> 01:21:07.000
- Pardon me ?
- Never mind.
01:21:11.500 --> 01:21:13.000
You have
anything to drink ?
01:21:13.500 --> 01:21:15.000
I believe the kegs
are upstairs.
01:21:17.500 --> 01:21:19.000
That is what
the cretins drink.
01:21:19.500 --> 01:21:21.000
I'm talking about
alcohol, liquor.
01:21:21.500 --> 01:21:24.000
- The good stuff.
- All right.
01:21:26.500 --> 01:21:28.000
I got some scotch.
01:21:28.500 --> 01:21:33.000
- Single malt ?
- Aged 18 years.
01:21:33.500 --> 01:21:35.000
The way I like it.
01:21:38.500 --> 01:21:41.000
Why don't you go
grab a glass from the bar ?
01:21:43.500 --> 01:21:46.000
I think I should.
01:21:46.500 --> 01:21:48.000
Allow me.
01:21:49.500 --> 01:21:51.000
You know it's
a bitchin' party.
01:21:51.500 --> 01:21:54.000
The Stif-man
always comes through in the clutch.
01:21:57.500 --> 01:22:01.000
[ Jim Laughs ] And then he just
puked his brains out.
01:22:01.500 --> 01:22:04.000
- That is a nasty story.
- Yep, I told you.
01:22:04.500 --> 01:22:06.000
Do you want to hear
a nasty story of mine ?
01:22:06.500 --> 01:22:08.000
It's sort of sexual.
01:22:10.500 --> 01:22:13.000
Yeah !
Yeah, let's hear it.
01:22:13.500 --> 01:22:18.000
Okay, well, this one time at band camp,
we were playing this game.
01:22:18.500 --> 01:22:21.000
I don't know if you know it,
but it's called "Spin the Bottle."
01:22:21.500 --> 01:22:25.000
And I had to kiss this guy
named Mark Wander on the lips.
01:22:25.500 --> 01:22:27.000
And-And he plays
trombone--
01:22:27.500 --> 01:22:30.000
[ Kevin ] So how do you
want to be ?
01:22:30.500 --> 01:22:33.000
Like... how do you
want to do it ?
01:22:34.500 --> 01:22:37.000
I don't know.
How do you ?
01:22:37.500 --> 01:22:42.000
Like... normal style.
The missionary position.
01:22:43.500 --> 01:22:45.000
Okay.
01:22:51.500 --> 01:22:54.000
Kev ?
01:22:54.500 --> 01:22:56.000
- Yeah ?
- I wanna hear you say it.
01:22:56.500 --> 01:22:58.000
Okay.
01:23:01.500 --> 01:23:04.000
Victoria,
01:23:04.500 --> 01:23:06.000
I love you.
01:23:07.500 --> 01:23:10.000
I love you.
01:23:21.500 --> 01:23:24.000
- Don't stray -
01:23:24.500 --> 01:23:26.000
- Don't ever go away -
01:23:26.500 --> 01:23:29.000
- I should be
much too smart for this -
01:23:29.500 --> 01:23:32.000
- You know it gets
the better of me -
01:23:32.500 --> 01:23:36.000
- Sometimes
when you and I collide -
01:23:36.500 --> 01:23:39.000
- - I fall into an ocean of you -
- Oh. My hair.
01:23:39.500 --> 01:23:41.000
- Pull me out in time -
01:23:41.500 --> 01:23:43.000
- [ Gasps ]
- - Don't let me drown -
01:23:43.500 --> 01:23:46.000
- Let me down -
01:23:46.500 --> 01:23:48.000
You okay ?
01:23:48.500 --> 01:23:52.000
Yeah. Go slow.
01:23:52.500 --> 01:23:55.000
- Say you'll stay -
01:23:55.500 --> 01:23:58.000
- Don't come and go -
01:23:58.500 --> 01:24:00.000
- Like you do -
01:24:02.500 --> 01:24:05.000
- Sway my way -
01:24:05.500 --> 01:24:08.000
- Yeah, I need to know -
01:24:08.500 --> 01:24:11.000
- All about you -
01:24:12.500 --> 01:24:15.000
- Say you'll stay --**
01:24:15.500 --> 01:24:18.000
So the end of the story
is you...
01:24:18.500 --> 01:24:20.000
had to kiss the guy
for 20 seconds.
01:24:20.500 --> 01:24:24.000
Yes ! And he was such a dork.
Everyone laughed at me...
01:24:24.500 --> 01:24:28.000
- but I didn't care
because it was so funny. - I get it.
01:24:28.500 --> 01:24:32.000
And this one time at band camp,
I stuck a flute in my pussy.
01:24:32.500 --> 01:24:34.000
Hmm.
[ Sputters ]
01:24:34.500 --> 01:24:36.000
[ Coughs ]
Excuse me ?
01:24:36.500 --> 01:24:39.000
What ? You don't think I know
how to get myself off ?
01:24:39.500 --> 01:24:43.000
Hell, that's what
half of band camp is-- Sex Ed.
01:24:43.500 --> 01:24:46.000
So are we gonna screw soon,
'cause I'm gettin' kinda antsy.
01:24:55.500 --> 01:24:57.000
This'll do. Whoo-hoo !
01:24:59.500 --> 01:25:03.000
- [ Toy Squeaks ]
- [ Grunts ] Ow !
01:25:03.500 --> 01:25:05.000
Now, I have two rubbers.
Wear them both. It'll desensitize you.
01:25:05.500 --> 01:25:08.000
Now, I have two rubbers.
Wear them both. It'll desensitize you.
01:25:08.500 --> 01:25:10.000
I don't want you coming
so damn early this time.
01:25:12.500 --> 01:25:15.000
What makes you think
that I would come early ?
01:25:15.500 --> 01:25:19.000
Come on. I saw you on the 'Net.
Why do you think I accepted this date ?
01:25:19.500 --> 01:25:22.000
- You're a sure thing.
- [ Scoffs ]
01:25:24.500 --> 01:25:27.000
Yes, I am.
01:25:27.500 --> 01:25:31.000
So I said, "This is very obviously
a Piero della Francesca."
01:25:31.500 --> 01:25:34.000
[ Laughing ]
Hmm.
01:25:39.500 --> 01:25:44.000
So, uh, would you object if I said
that you were quite striking ?
01:25:44.500 --> 01:25:49.000
Mr. Finch, are you
trying to seduce me ?
01:25:49.500 --> 01:25:52.000
- Yes, ma'am, I am.
- - And here's to you -
01:25:52.500 --> 01:25:54.000
- Mrs. Robinson -
01:25:54.500 --> 01:25:58.000
- Jesus loves you more
than you will know -
01:25:58.500 --> 01:26:01.000
- Whoa, whoa, whoa -
01:26:01.500 --> 01:26:04.000
- Stand up tall, Mrs. Robinson -
01:26:04.500 --> 01:26:08.000
- Mmm, you're dead.
- - God in heaven smiles on those who pray -
01:26:08.500 --> 01:26:11.000
- Hey, hey, hey -
01:26:11.500 --> 01:26:13.000
- - Hey, hey, hey --**
- [ Pool Balls Clacking ]
01:26:13.500 --> 01:26:15.000
- - Hey, hey, hey --**
- [ Pool Balls Clacking ]
01:26:15.500 --> 01:26:18.000
- Sway my way -
01:26:18.500 --> 01:26:21.000
- Yeah, I need to know -
01:26:21.500 --> 01:26:24.000
- All about you -
01:26:24.500 --> 01:26:27.000
- And there's no cure -
01:26:27.500 --> 01:26:30.000
- And no way to be sure -
01:26:30.500 --> 01:26:32.000
- Why everything's
turned inside out -
01:26:32.500 --> 01:26:34.000
- lnstilling so much doubt -
01:26:34.500 --> 01:26:37.000
- It makes me so tired -
01:26:37.500 --> 01:26:40.000
- I feel so uninspired -
01:26:40.500 --> 01:26:42.000
- My head is battling
with my heart -
01:26:42.500 --> 01:26:46.000
- My logic has been torn apart
And now --**
01:26:46.500 --> 01:26:49.000
- [ Stifler's Mom ] I had
no idea you'd be this good. - Neither did l.
01:26:49.500 --> 01:26:51.000
[ Moaning ]
Oh, Finchy. Finch.
01:26:51.500 --> 01:26:54.000
- Oh, Stifler's mom, whoa !
- Finchy !
01:26:58.500 --> 01:27:00.000
[ Toy Squeaks ]
01:27:00.500 --> 01:27:03.000
- [ Toy Squeaking ]
- Okay, let's go.
01:27:03.500 --> 01:27:06.000
What's my name ?
Say my name, bitch !
01:27:06.500 --> 01:27:08.000
Michelle, Michelle.
01:27:09.500 --> 01:27:11.000
[ Jim ] Oh, God.
01:27:39.500 --> 01:27:41.000
That was
a great night, huh ?
01:27:43.500 --> 01:27:45.000
Yeah.
01:27:47.500 --> 01:27:50.000
I mean, I just can't believe
we had our senior prom.
01:27:50.500 --> 01:27:54.000
I know.
It went by so fast.
01:27:54.500 --> 01:27:57.000
Yeah, it did.
01:27:57.500 --> 01:27:59.000
Kevin ?
01:28:04.500 --> 01:28:06.000
Next year with you
going to Ann Arbor...
01:28:06.500 --> 01:28:09.000
and me going to lthaca,
01:28:10.500 --> 01:28:13.000
it's not gonna work,
is it ?
01:28:13.500 --> 01:28:15.000
No.
Don't say that.
01:28:15.500 --> 01:28:17.000
I mean,
we could make it work.
01:28:19.500 --> 01:28:21.000
- It'll be perfect.
- No, Kevin.
01:28:23.500 --> 01:28:25.000
-But--
-See, that's what I've been realizing...
01:28:26.500 --> 01:28:28.000
is that...
nothing's perfect.
01:28:28.500 --> 01:28:33.000
And you can't
plan everything.
01:28:33.500 --> 01:28:37.000
Well, I guess... you will
be pretty far away.
01:28:38.500 --> 01:28:41.000
And we'll be on our own,
meeting new people.
01:28:45.500 --> 01:28:47.000
Last night, though.
01:28:51.500 --> 01:28:54.000
I wasn't lying.
01:28:55.500 --> 01:28:57.000
I know.
01:29:13.500 --> 01:29:16.000
She's gone.
Wha--
01:29:16.500 --> 01:29:18.000
Oh, my God.
She used me.
01:29:19.500 --> 01:29:20.000
I was used.
01:29:22.500 --> 01:29:26.000
I was used.
Cool !
01:29:28.500 --> 01:29:30.000
What's this door locked--
01:29:30.500 --> 01:29:32.000
Mom, where's--
01:29:34.500 --> 01:29:38.000
- Mom ? Shit-brick ?
- [ Finch ] Hey, Stifler.
01:29:40.500 --> 01:29:44.000
- Do do do do do do do -
01:29:44.500 --> 01:29:47.000
[ Finch ] I just gotta say that women,
01:29:47.500 --> 01:29:50.000
Iike a fine wine,
only get better with age.
01:29:51.500 --> 01:29:54.000
Of course, I have
no basis for comparison, but, uh,
01:29:55.500 --> 01:29:56.000
it was good.
01:29:57.500 --> 01:29:59.000
So you almost made it,
huh, Oz ?
01:29:59.500 --> 01:30:03.000
- I'll just say that
we had a great night together. - Hang in there, buddy.
01:30:03.500 --> 01:30:08.000
- You'll get there.
- You know, guys, I think we're falling in love.
01:30:08.500 --> 01:30:12.000
Wha-- [ Chuckles ]
Wow.
01:30:12.500 --> 01:30:14.000
That's great, man.
That's awesome.
01:30:16.500 --> 01:30:18.000
Y-You know what
the coolest thing is, guys ?
01:30:18.500 --> 01:30:21.000
This.
You know, right now.
01:30:21.500 --> 01:30:24.000
It's true. I mean, after this,
everything's gonna be different.
01:30:24.500 --> 01:30:28.000
After... getting laid ?
01:30:28.500 --> 01:30:31.000
- After high school.
- Here's to the next step.
01:30:31.500 --> 01:30:34.000
- To the next step.
- To the next step. - To the next step.
01:30:36.500 --> 01:30:39.000
- Do do do do do do do -
01:30:39.500 --> 01:30:42.000
- Do do do do do do do -
01:30:42.500 --> 01:30:44.000
- Do do do do do do do -
01:30:44.500 --> 01:30:46.000
- Do do do do do do do --**
01:30:52.500 --> 01:30:57.000
- Chickety China, the Chinese
chicken, have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin' -
01:30:57.500 --> 01:30:59.000
- Watchin' X Files
with no lights on -
01:30:59.500 --> 01:31:01.000
- We're dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man's in this one -
01:31:01.500 --> 01:31:03.000
- Like Harrison Ford
I'm getting frantic -
01:31:03.500 --> 01:31:04.000
- Like Sting I'm tantric
Like Snickers guaranteed to satisfy -
01:31:04.500 --> 01:31:05.000
- Like Sting I'm tantric
Like Snickers guaranteed to satisfy -
01:31:05.500 --> 01:31:07.000
- Like Kurosawa
I make mad films -
01:31:07.500 --> 01:31:09.000
- Okay, I don't make films
but if I did they'd have a samurai -
01:31:10.500 --> 01:31:11.000
- Gonna get a set of better clubs,
gonna find the kind with tiny nubs -
01:31:12.500 --> 01:31:14.000
- So my irons aren't always
flyin' off the backswing -
01:31:14.500 --> 01:31:16.000
- Gonna get in tune
with Sailor Moon 'cause that cartoon -
01:31:16.500 --> 01:31:18.000
- Has got the boom anime babes
that make me think the wrong thing -
01:31:18.500 --> 01:31:20.000
- How can I help it if I think
you're funny when you're mad -
01:31:20.500 --> 01:31:22.000
- Tryin' hard not to smile
though I feel bad -
01:31:22.500 --> 01:31:24.000
- I'm the kinda guy
who laughs at a funeral -
01:31:24.500 --> 01:31:26.000
- Sweetheart ?
- - Can't understand what I mean You soon will -
01:31:26.500 --> 01:31:29.000
- It's been one week
since you looked at me -
01:31:29.500 --> 01:31:30.000
- Dropped your eyes to the side
and said, I'm sorry --**
01:31:30.500 --> 01:31:31.000
- Dropped your eyes to the side
and said, I'm sorry --**
01:31:31.500 --> 01:31:35.000
- Hello to your mother
your brother significant other -
01:31:35.500 --> 01:31:39.000
- I am the summertime -
01:31:39.500 --> 01:31:45.000
- And I'm here
to free your mind -
01:31:45.500 --> 01:31:49.000
- Kick off your shoes the blues
and use anything but your mind -
01:31:49.500 --> 01:31:54.000
- 'Cause this is
the summertime -
01:31:54.500 --> 01:31:59.000
- And it's here
to free your mind -
01:31:59.500 --> 01:32:04.000
- How many other people
can you save today -
01:32:04.500 --> 01:32:09.000
- Don't you think it's high time
that you sail away -
01:32:09.500 --> 01:32:14.000
- Leave today
Don't fall behind -
01:32:14.500 --> 01:32:18.000
- Try something new, turn into you
if only for a short time -
01:32:18.500 --> 01:32:23.000
- I am the summertime -
01:32:23.500 --> 01:32:28.000
- And I'm here
to free your mind --**
01:32:38.500 --> 01:32:40.000
- Love is tragic
Love is bold -
01:32:40.500 --> 01:32:43.000
- You will always
do what you are told -
01:32:48.500 --> 01:32:51.000
- Love is hard
Love is strong -
01:32:51.500 --> 01:32:54.000
- You will never say
that you were wrong -
01:32:59.500 --> 01:33:01.000
- I don't know
when I got bitter -
01:33:01.500 --> 01:33:06.000
- Love is surely better
when it's gone -
01:33:08.500 --> 01:33:10.000
- 'Cause you wanted more -
01:33:10.500 --> 01:33:13.000
- More than I could give -
01:33:13.500 --> 01:33:15.000
- More than I could handle -
01:33:15.500 --> 01:33:18.000
- And a life that I can't live -
01:33:19.500 --> 01:33:21.000
- You wanted more -
01:33:21.500 --> 01:33:23.000
- More than I could bear -
01:33:24.500 --> 01:33:26.000
- More than I could offer -
01:33:26.500 --> 01:33:30.000
- And a love that isn't there -
01:33:41.500 --> 01:33:43.000
- Love is color
Love is love -
01:33:43.500 --> 01:33:46.000
- Love is never saying
you're too proud -
01:33:51.500 --> 01:33:54.000
- Love is trusting
Love is honest -
01:33:54.500 --> 01:33:57.000
- Love is not a hand
that holds you down -
01:34:02.500 --> 01:34:04.000
- I don't know
when I got bitter -
01:34:04.500 --> 01:34:09.000
- Love is surely better
when it's gone -
01:34:11.500 --> 01:34:13.000
- 'Cause you wanted more -
01:34:13.500 --> 01:34:16.000
- More than I could give -
01:34:16.500 --> 01:34:18.000
- More than I could handle -
01:34:18.500 --> 01:34:21.000
- And a life that I can't live -
01:34:22.500 --> 01:34:24.000
- You wanted more -
01:34:24.500 --> 01:34:26.000
- More than I could bear -
01:34:27.500 --> 01:34:29.000
- More than I could offer -
01:34:29.500 --> 01:34:33.000
- And a love that isn't there -
01:34:36.500 --> 01:34:40.000
- I gotta pick me up
when I am down -
01:34:42.500 --> 01:34:45.000
- I gotta get my feet
back on the ground -
01:34:47.500 --> 01:34:52.000
- I gotta pick me up
when I am down -
01:35:02.500 --> 01:35:05.000
- I don't know
when I got bitter -
01:35:05.500 --> 01:35:09.000
- But love is surely better
when it's gone -
01:35:12.500 --> 01:35:14.000
- 'Cause you wanted more -
01:35:14.500 --> 01:35:17.000
- More than I could give -
01:35:17.500 --> 01:35:19.000
- More than I could handle -
01:35:19.500 --> 01:35:22.000
- And a life that I can't live -
01:35:22.500 --> 01:35:22.990
- You wanted more --**