WEBVTT 00:00:03.980 --> 00:00:06.040 (Google) Next! I said next! 00:00:06.285 --> 00:00:08.785 If Google was still a guy 00:00:09.008 --> 00:00:10.818 -Why am I alive? -Okay... 00:00:10.985 --> 00:00:14.275 -Cream cheese is cheese? -Wait, do you still want to know about-- 00:00:14.295 --> 00:00:18.655 ~Avocado pit huge why? -Okay, don't speak in these weird haikus. 00:00:18.786 --> 00:00:21.216 -How to tell if pregnant? -Oh boy... 00:00:21.432 --> 00:00:22.672 -How to tell if-- -If pregnant? 00:00:23.827 --> 00:00:24.677 JENNIFER! 00:00:25.129 --> 00:00:28.349 -Local mosque, Seattle. -NSA, don't mind me. 00:00:28.849 --> 00:00:30.629 How to pronounce "do-gah-coin"? 00:00:30.818 --> 00:00:32.698 -According to Google maps, there's a number-- -Security. 00:00:33.067 --> 00:00:34.387 -Can you please not black mail? -Just... 00:00:35.334 --> 00:00:37.334 -Oh, excuse me... -Oh, no, no...come on in. 00:00:37.689 --> 00:00:40.899 Today is Jackson Pollock's birthday so we're celebrating 00:00:41.049 --> 00:00:43.579 -his particular style of painting. -Why fart smell? 00:00:43.927 --> 00:00:46.567 Not the most important painters of all time, and you want to know 00:00:46.627 --> 00:00:48.547 why farts smell, so there you go! 00:00:48.779 --> 00:00:50.189 Flight to Washington. 00:00:50.492 --> 00:00:52.492 Bank transfer all money to dogecoin how? 00:00:53.199 --> 00:00:54.099 -Okay, Glass. -(snickers) 00:00:54.318 --> 00:00:56.918 Search "avoid being bullied for wearing Google Glass"! 00:00:57.004 --> 00:00:58.244 (cracks up) 00:00:58.288 --> 00:01:01.668 -Flight to Washington state. -I knew you made that mistake. 00:01:01.871 --> 00:01:04.271 -F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-- -I think your F key is stuck! 00:01:04.324 --> 00:01:05.334 F-F-F-F-F... 00:01:05.366 --> 00:01:07.356 Why longitude shaped like an orange slice? 00:01:07.540 --> 00:01:10.220 -You are so wrong, dumb ass! -We'll see. 00:01:10.657 --> 00:01:14.007 Groundhogs Day or Groundhog Day. 00:01:14.215 --> 00:01:16.655 -Groundhog Day. -OOOH! 00:01:17.510 --> 00:01:18.900 Haircut place bowl cut. 00:01:19.263 --> 00:01:21.053 -Terror pictures. -Oh... 00:01:21.935 --> 00:01:24.055 -Oh, sorry. -Terrior pictures. 00:01:24.253 --> 00:01:26.483 Oh! (chuckles) Okay... 00:01:28.213 --> 00:01:29.703 (laughing in delight) 00:01:29.782 --> 00:01:32.342 -Hey, man, let me do my job, alright? -Fuck you! 00:01:32.442 --> 00:01:34.452 Can sue for screen door injured? 00:01:34.904 --> 00:01:36.834 Where to buy pet Russian dolphin? 00:01:37.072 --> 00:01:38.892 Why do my farts smell? 00:01:39.049 --> 00:01:40.499 -Tent... -Doing a little camping, huh? 00:01:40.671 --> 00:01:42.571 -Tentacle hentai. -OH COME ON! 00:01:52.456 --> 00:01:56.236 Open for business, everyone! Come on in, it's awesome in here! 00:01:56.910 --> 00:01:59.160 Soon...they'll come soon. Heh.