WEBVTT 00:00:09.595 --> 00:00:12.271 The biggest sin that I was holding on to 00:00:12.271 --> 00:00:13.967 was my doubts and unbelief 00:00:13.967 --> 00:00:15.482 in the Lord Jesus Christ - 00:00:15.482 --> 00:00:17.586 that He was able to save my soul; 00:00:17.586 --> 00:00:20.525 to just trust in Him. 00:00:20.525 --> 00:00:22.278 And it would always be like, 00:00:22.278 --> 00:00:24.631 ok, I trust in Him, and then... 00:00:24.631 --> 00:00:27.485 Ok, I've got to repent and believe in that enough; 00:00:27.485 --> 00:00:29.522 I've got to keep trusting in Him 00:00:29.522 --> 00:00:31.161 and that will save my soul. 00:00:31.161 --> 00:00:33.386 I've got to keep believing Him and that will save my soul. 00:00:33.398 --> 00:00:34.796 I've got to repent enough; 00:00:34.796 --> 00:00:36.221 turn away from my sin enough, 00:00:36.221 --> 00:00:38.049 and that will save my soul. 00:00:38.049 --> 00:00:39.745 I mean, the Gospel to me 00:00:39.745 --> 00:00:41.692 was pretty much a law. 00:00:41.692 --> 00:00:44.769 It was repent and believe, 00:00:44.769 --> 00:00:47.598 and you won't go to hell. 00:00:47.598 --> 00:00:49.612 But it was different. 00:00:49.612 --> 00:00:51.166 It was a law. 00:00:51.166 --> 00:00:53.076 It wasn't the free grace of God in it 00:00:53.076 --> 00:00:55.116 that God would save me. 00:00:55.116 --> 00:00:58.009 It was like, oh, I'm going to seek You 00:00:58.009 --> 00:00:59.760 with all my heart and soul 00:00:59.760 --> 00:01:03.861 and then I'm going to bend Your arm, God. 00:01:03.861 --> 00:01:07.505 I'm going to try and pray enough. 00:01:07.505 --> 00:01:09.781 I'm going to seek You 00:01:09.781 --> 00:01:13.985 and it never sufficed. 00:01:13.985 --> 00:01:16.671 There's never completeness in it all. 00:01:16.671 --> 00:01:18.582 It would always fail, 00:01:18.582 --> 00:01:20.237 even though I sought God; 00:01:20.237 --> 00:01:21.537 cried out to Him; 00:01:21.537 --> 00:01:24.107 prayed, thought good thoughts about Him. 00:01:24.107 --> 00:01:25.047 It didn't suffice. 00:01:25.047 --> 00:01:26.516 God wasn't looking at my works 00:01:26.516 --> 00:01:28.009 even though I prayed good. 00:01:28.009 --> 00:01:30.234 I mean before, I actually thought - 00:01:30.234 --> 00:01:33.454 when I was thinking I was a Christian 00:01:33.454 --> 00:01:34.886 and everything like that, 00:01:34.886 --> 00:01:37.371 I thought, man, look at my performance. 00:01:37.371 --> 00:01:38.932 I just prayed really good there. 00:01:38.932 --> 00:01:39.949 Then all of a sudden, 00:01:39.949 --> 00:01:41.440 I would even have the thought 00:01:41.440 --> 00:01:42.744 but that doesn't matter. 00:01:42.744 --> 00:01:43.977 You know Christ matters. 00:01:43.977 --> 00:01:45.688 And then that right there, 00:01:45.688 --> 00:01:46.897 because I said that, 00:01:46.897 --> 00:01:49.274 that was my performance right there. 00:01:49.274 --> 00:01:50.841 Because I was acknowledging that 00:01:50.841 --> 00:01:52.292 it's Christ's work. 00:01:52.292 --> 00:01:55.047 And me pointing to Christ and saying, "it's His." 00:01:55.047 --> 00:01:58.705 That was how I was performing before God. 00:01:58.705 --> 00:02:00.483 And that's what I was holding on to. 00:02:00.483 --> 00:02:01.881 I was holding on to: 00:02:01.881 --> 00:02:03.283 I'm a special case. 00:02:03.283 --> 00:02:05.223 I mean, I can't believe... 00:02:05.223 --> 00:02:06.779 woe is me. 00:02:06.779 --> 00:02:08.167 The big thing was, 00:02:08.167 --> 00:02:09.892 God was pointing at me and saying, 00:02:09.892 --> 00:02:11.239 you won't believe. 00:02:11.239 --> 00:02:14.268 My Gospel is free and it extends its arm to you. 00:02:14.268 --> 00:02:17.332 Nothing holds you back from trusting in My Son. 00:02:17.332 --> 00:02:20.489 You're the one that won't come. 00:02:20.489 --> 00:02:22.984 And I kept thinking, 00:02:22.984 --> 00:02:26.151 well, I guess I'll wait. 00:02:26.151 --> 00:02:27.962 Wait for that special feeling. 00:02:27.962 --> 00:02:29.227 The more I waited, 00:02:29.227 --> 00:02:32.327 the fruit of waiting came more doubts 00:02:32.327 --> 00:02:33.563 and unbelief about God. 00:02:33.563 --> 00:02:35.562 Hatred towards Him and everything. 00:02:35.562 --> 00:02:38.343 And then, ok, I'm going to cry out to Him. 00:02:38.343 --> 00:02:39.387 People would tell me, 00:02:39.387 --> 00:02:40.542 cry out to the Lord. 00:02:40.542 --> 00:02:42.840 If you really cry out to Him, He'll answer you. 00:02:42.840 --> 00:02:44.145 I was like, ok. 00:02:44.145 --> 00:02:45.262 So I cried out to Him, 00:02:45.262 --> 00:02:46.566 and I'm thinking about Him 00:02:46.566 --> 00:02:47.434 and trying... 00:02:47.434 --> 00:02:52.096 I was trusting in my crying out to Him. 00:02:52.096 --> 00:02:54.543 I came to a point where 00:02:54.543 --> 00:02:57.585 I can just believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, 00:02:57.585 --> 00:03:00.303 that it was His prayers that were 00:03:00.303 --> 00:03:01.871 100% completely perfect. 00:03:01.871 --> 00:03:04.805 And all that merit of Him is now 00:03:04.805 --> 00:03:08.036 imputed to my account. 00:03:08.036 --> 00:03:09.889 Not that I'm perfect and righteous 00:03:09.889 --> 00:03:11.141 in my own self, 00:03:11.141 --> 00:03:13.999 but there's righteousness in Him. 00:03:13.999 --> 00:03:15.960 And if I keep believing in Him 00:03:15.960 --> 00:03:16.966 and trusting in Him - 00:03:16.966 --> 00:03:19.196 not that these are works or anything like that, 00:03:19.196 --> 00:03:20.611 but it's a ceasing - 00:03:20.611 --> 00:03:22.034 giving up and saying, 00:03:22.034 --> 00:03:23.466 He has a righteousness 00:03:23.466 --> 00:03:26.416 that's going to pay for all my sin. 00:03:26.416 --> 00:03:29.075 His death pays for all my sin. 00:03:29.075 --> 00:03:31.714 It's His righteousness that covers me 00:03:31.714 --> 00:03:33.357 and clothes me. 00:03:33.357 --> 00:03:35.616 And God looks at me with love now 00:03:35.616 --> 00:03:37.345 because of Christ 00:03:37.345 --> 00:03:39.203 and not because of myself. 00:03:39.203 --> 00:03:41.577 There's absolutely nothing inside me 00:03:41.577 --> 00:03:44.482 that I can come to God with. 00:03:44.482 --> 00:03:47.130 It has to come from outside. 00:03:47.130 --> 00:03:48.877 There has to be Christ. 00:03:48.877 --> 00:03:50.021 If I don't have Christ, 00:03:50.021 --> 00:03:52.437 then I don't have that propitiation that He's made, 00:03:52.437 --> 00:03:53.967 how can I come to God? 00:03:53.967 --> 00:03:55.729 I mean, if I didn't see the Gospel, 00:03:55.729 --> 00:03:58.636 all I would be doing is trying to bend God's arm, 00:03:58.636 --> 00:04:00.318 even though I was condemned. 00:04:00.318 --> 00:04:03.564 I was a vile, filthy sinner before Him. 00:04:03.564 --> 00:04:06.089 I mean, we hope in the Lord 00:04:06.089 --> 00:04:07.960 because He saves. 00:04:07.960 --> 00:04:09.909 We pray to God because He answers. 00:04:09.909 --> 00:04:11.847 I mean, we look to Christ 00:04:11.847 --> 00:04:14.413 because He saves us. 00:04:14.413 --> 00:04:17.249 He steps in our place 00:04:17.249 --> 00:04:18.613 when we should be there. 00:04:18.613 --> 00:04:21.908 I mean, it's to the one who does not work 00:04:21.908 --> 00:04:25.429 but believes in Him Who justifies the ungodly, 00:04:25.429 --> 00:04:27.713 his faith - the person who does not work 00:04:27.713 --> 00:04:30.698 and believes in God who justifies the ungodly, 00:04:30.698 --> 00:04:32.740 his faith is counted as righteousness. 00:04:32.740 --> 00:04:35.923 Not the person who trusts in his works; 00:04:35.923 --> 00:04:37.410 trusts in his prayers; 00:04:37.410 --> 00:04:38.804 and trusts in his sighs 00:04:38.804 --> 00:04:41.373 and says, oh wow, I did good this time. 00:04:41.373 --> 00:04:43.394 He doesn't have any peace from God. 00:04:43.394 --> 00:04:46.103 God might give him up to that 00:04:46.103 --> 00:04:48.265 and give him a peace in it, 00:04:48.265 --> 00:04:51.284 and He'd be perfectly just in doing that. 00:04:51.284 --> 00:04:53.784 But in His mercy, 00:04:53.784 --> 00:04:56.455 He causes no peace for that person. 00:04:56.455 --> 00:04:59.141 That person, like me, 00:04:59.141 --> 00:05:00.668 that was trying to repent, 00:05:00.668 --> 00:05:02.143 trying to believe, 00:05:02.143 --> 00:05:04.111 trying to come to God, 00:05:04.111 --> 00:05:07.634 trying and doing anything 00:05:07.634 --> 00:05:10.484 to come to God 00:05:10.484 --> 00:05:13.594 outside of His Son and what He's done, 00:05:13.594 --> 00:05:14.672 it's nothing. 00:05:14.672 --> 00:05:15.902 I can't give God my heart 00:05:15.902 --> 00:05:17.742 and then God's going to give me His heart. 00:05:17.742 --> 00:05:18.551 No. 00:05:18.551 --> 00:05:20.548 God comes down and says, 00:05:20.548 --> 00:05:22.173 here's My Son. 00:05:22.173 --> 00:05:23.378 Do you consent? 00:05:23.378 --> 00:05:24.531 Will you believe in Him? 00:05:24.531 --> 00:05:25.634 This is My beloved Son. 00:05:25.634 --> 00:05:27.067 I'm well pleased with Him. 00:05:27.067 --> 00:05:29.276 He's willing to take your place. 00:05:29.276 --> 00:05:31.023 Will you trust Him? 00:05:31.023 --> 00:05:32.867 And then people would go, 00:05:32.867 --> 00:05:35.464 well, what about election? 00:05:35.464 --> 00:05:37.565 Find your election in Jesus Christ. 00:05:37.565 --> 00:05:40.257 Election has done but saved people. 00:05:40.257 --> 00:05:42.084 If He didn't elect, 00:05:42.084 --> 00:05:44.479 we'd all be like Sodom and Gomorrah. 00:05:44.479 --> 00:05:46.034 Totally trashed. 00:05:46.034 --> 00:05:48.559 Everything would be totally gone. 00:05:48.559 --> 00:05:50.720 There would be no salvation for anybody. 00:05:50.720 --> 00:05:52.941 But because God saves... 00:05:52.941 --> 00:05:55.115 God is a loving God 00:05:55.115 --> 00:05:56.400 and we're wicked. 00:05:56.400 --> 00:05:57.532 The thing is, 00:05:57.532 --> 00:05:58.991 we have a wrong view about God 00:05:58.991 --> 00:06:01.150 when we start going, well, I don't know if I'm elect. 00:06:01.150 --> 00:06:03.047 Because we're saying, God, You're a tyrant. 00:06:03.047 --> 00:06:05.249 You're the person that elects people, 00:06:05.249 --> 00:06:07.316 and I guess I'm just going to have to wait. 00:06:07.316 --> 00:06:08.550 And we sit around waiting 00:06:08.550 --> 00:06:10.730 and just harbor bad thoughts about God, 00:06:10.730 --> 00:06:15.767 instead of coming to Him exactly as we are. 00:06:15.767 --> 00:06:17.152 He is loving. 00:06:17.152 --> 00:06:18.848 God is love. 00:06:18.848 --> 00:06:21.640 And He gives a righteousness 00:06:21.640 --> 00:06:23.670 to sinners. 00:06:23.670 --> 00:06:25.080 People who just come to Him 00:06:25.080 --> 00:06:26.041 exactly as they are. 00:06:26.041 --> 00:06:27.242 Not trying to put on a show. 00:06:27.242 --> 00:06:30.064 Just saying, God, I hate you. 00:06:30.064 --> 00:06:31.360 I mean literally, 00:06:31.360 --> 00:06:34.334 you can come to God exactly as you are. 00:06:34.334 --> 00:06:37.754 But don't expect to stay like that. Because His love encompasses you. 00:06:37.754 --> 00:06:40.642 John 5:39-40 "You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; 00:06:40.642 --> 00:06:43.918 and it is they that bear witness about Me, yet you refused to come to Me that you may have life."