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The scientific community is buzzing following the announcement that
archaeologists in Argentina have uncovered the first complete skeleton
of the world's oldest sexual predator.
According to the team of archaeologists, the discovery of a full skeleton
of Pervatasaurus Leroy, the first dinosaur species
known to stalk another not for food,
but for sexual satisfaction could, quote: "...shed light on any number
of mysteries surrounding this ancient lecherous creature."
Joining us now from Argentina is the lead paleontologist on the dig,
Andrew Vaughn. - Hello.
Dr. Vaughn, the pervatasaurus looks a bit like the Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Are the two related? - Yes. They're both members
of the Therepod sub order, but the pervatasaurus is smaller
and much, much creepier. - Now, how did you and your team
make this monumental discovery. - Oh, well, the skeleton was discovered
in a dank, subterranean cave far away from any of the other
dinosaur fossils we excavated.
The large number of well preserved footprints suggests
the pervatasaurus spent the majority of its time
there in the cave, just pacing back and forth alone.
So, it was basically a solitary creature. - Oh, for the most part, yes.
The pervatasaurus seemed to only approach other dinosaurs
when they were in large groups,
which allowed the pervatasaurus to stealthily creep between their bodies
and rub himself up against them. - It's incredible.
All of my research indicates that it really liked mud and slick surfaces
and would often submerge half of its body in mud,
while groping its own genitals and mumbling to itself.
Now, it was long thought, it was my understanding at least,
that the pervatasaurus was a carnivore. - Oh that was a misconception.
By studying the pervatasaurus fossilized feces,
which we found neatly stacked in symmetrical piles in the cave,
we discovered that the pervatasaurus was in fact an herbivore.
So it was a scavenger of sorts then. - Oh yes.
We have discovered drag marks near several caves
indicating the pervatasaurus likely lured smaller dinosaurs
back to its cave, but the lack of skeletons suggests the pervatasaurus
didn't kill and eat them, but only watched them as it masturbated.
Well, it's remarkable. Thanks for being with us, Dr. Vaughn.
Congratulations on your find. - Thank you.
Moving on, accusations of steroid use are calling into question the legitimacy
of many of the world's greatest sports' bloopers.
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