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The scientific community is buzzing 
following the announcement that archaeologists

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in Argentina have uncovered the first complete skeleton

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of the world`s oldest sexual predator.

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According to the team of archaeologist

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the discovery of a full skeleton of Pervatasaurus Leroy,

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the first dinosaurs species known to stalk another

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not for food but for sexual satisfaction

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, could quote ‘…shed light on any number of

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mysteries surrounding this ancient lecherous creature’

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Joining us now from Argentina is the lead paleontologist on the dig,

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Dr. Andrew Vaughn.

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Hello.

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Dr. Vaughn, the pervatasaurus looks a bit like the tyrannosaurus Rex

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Are they two related?

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Yes. They`re both members of the Thereped suborder,

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but the pervatasaurus is smaller and much much creepier

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Now, how did you and your team make this monumental discovery?

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Oh, well, the skeleton was discovered in a dank,

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subterranean cave far away from any of the other dinosaur fossils we excavated.

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And the large number of well-preserved footprints

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suggested the pervatasaurus spent the majority of its time there in a cave

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just pacing back and forth alone.

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So it was basically a solitary creature.

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Oh, for the most part, yes.

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The pervatasaurus seemed to only approach other dinosaurs

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when they were in large groups which allowed the pervatasaurus

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to stealthily creep between their bodies and rub himself against them.

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It`s incredible.

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All of my research indicates that it really liked mud and slick surfaces

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and would often submerge half of its body in mud

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while groping its own genitals and mumbling to himself.

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Now, it was long thought, it was my understanding at least,

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that the pervatasaurus was a carnivore.

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Oh, that was a misconception.

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By studying pervatasaurus fossilized faeces which we found neatly stacked

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in a symmetric piles in a cave we discovered

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that the pervatasaurus was in fact a herbivore.

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So it was a scavenger of sorts then?

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Oh yes. We have discovered drag marks near several caves

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indicating the pervatasaurus likely lured smaller dinosaurs back to its cave,

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but the lack of skeletons suggests

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the pervatasaurus didn`t kill or eat them

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but only watch them as it masturbated.

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Well it`s remarkable! Thanks for being with us, Dr. Vaughn.

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Congratulations on your find.

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Thank you.

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Moving on accusations of steroid use are calling into suggestion

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the legitimacy of many of the world greatest sports….