[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.53,0:00:33.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ladies and gentlemen,\Nplease welcome Robin Williams!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.85,0:00:50.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.80,0:00:57.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, please!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.10,0:01:00.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sit the fuck down!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.83,0:01:02.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.18,0:01:05.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.98,0:01:07.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.48,0:01:09.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, yes!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.23,0:01:13.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, yes, my little\Nsemain headed friend!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.22,0:01:17.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's it! Good night!\NThank you very much!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.14,0:01:22.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you for the standing ovation,\Nyou made the orgasm up front.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.14,0:01:24.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's have a cigarette, let's relax.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.37,0:01:26.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're here in New York,\Nfucking New York!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.89,0:01:30.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.12,0:01:36.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously this is not gonna\Nbe your normal night of theater!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.23,0:01:40.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This will be Shakespeare\Nwith a strap-on!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.63,0:01:43.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that's the way you like it!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.00,0:01:47.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Welcome to my lovely set which is\Nfrom the musical "Fantastic Voyage"!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.87,0:01:51.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or maybe the last thing\Na clitoris sees!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.51,0:01:54.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm over here!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.58,0:01:56.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm down here!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.28,0:02:00.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is brought to you by HBO,\Nwhich is subsidiary of Time Warner,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.86,0:02:02.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,also owned by\NAmerica On Line...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.72,0:02:04.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You've got mail".\NI hope you don't have stocks!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.19,0:02:07.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Welcome!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.70,0:02:09.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't be afraid!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.67,0:02:13.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was so reassuring\Nthe other day...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.87,0:02:16.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,George W. Bush talked\Nto the stock market and...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.27,0:02:20.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It must be him\Ntalking about business ethics
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.01,0:02:22.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's kinda like having\Na leopard give you a facial.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.04,0:02:25.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It doesn't really work!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.98,0:02:29.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"A lot of our imports\Ncome from other countries".
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.45,0:02:31.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No shit?!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.95,0:02:35.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Moving right along...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.29,0:02:39.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Meanwhile,\NMichael is protesting...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.13,0:02:44.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know, baby...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.47,0:02:48.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was strange enought when Michael\Nwas the best man at Lisa's wedding.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.27,0:02:51.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That for me was like,\N"You're pushing the term, my man"!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.41,0:02:56.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was a pretty short list.\NWas Richard Simmons hunting?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.61,0:03:00.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- "What are you doing"?\N- "I'm the best man"!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.38,0:03:02.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now Michael is claming rasism.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.75,0:03:05.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going,\N"Honey, you gotta pick a race first".
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.93,0:03:15.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What are you claiming,\Nmistreatment of elves"?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.70,0:03:19.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Girl, you gotta pick a gender, too.\NWhat are you going for"?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.13,0:03:22.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You were Diana Ross.\NNow you've just left it all behind".
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.00,0:03:28.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Michael, you're not a freak.\NYou're just surgically enhanced...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.78,0:03:32.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you spend more money\Nthan the Vatican.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.68,0:03:34.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you go to Neverland, it says
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.02,0:03:37.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You must be this\Nhigh to ride Michael".
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.72,0:03:49.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously, people and the lawyers\Nfor HBO are going, "Fuck"!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.56,0:03:51.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But how fucked up\Ndo you have to be
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.73,0:03:54.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for Al Sharpton to go,\N"I'm outta here, man"!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.08,0:04:04.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If Al Sharpton bails on your ass,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.91,0:04:08.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even rats are going,\N"Man, that guy's quick"!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.28,0:04:11.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"From the Don King School\Nof hair processing..."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.78,0:04:13.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's running for\Noffice in Idaho on the
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.12,0:04:18.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What a fucking, wild, crazy chance\Nin hell you'll be elected" ticket.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.69,0:04:21.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorry, my lips just went,\N"What the fuck did you say"?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.36,0:04:25.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Couple of dyslexic people went,\N"Thank you, Robin"!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.67,0:04:27.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Thank you"!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.14,0:04:30.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We were worried about\Nthe pledge of allegiance.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.60,0:04:32.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We were gonna say\N"One nation under dog"!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.41,0:04:34.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's OK.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.48,0:04:36.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know people are going\N"I've got a cure for this"!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.94,0:04:40.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"One nation under Canada,\Nabove Mexico".
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.12,0:04:43.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But then you have to the whole...
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.35,0:04:47.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's anthems like\N"Someone bless America"!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.89,0:04:50.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On the dollar bill, instead\Nof "In God We Trust",
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.52,0:04:52.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"In Gates We Trust"!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.99,0:04:55.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Mr. Gates, when did you realize\Nyou are creating monopoly"?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.30,0:04:56.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Monopoly is just a game, senator".
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.50,0:04:58.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm trying to control\Nthe fucking world".
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.07,0:05:03.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't you see Windows Millenium?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.27,0:05:05.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's all leading to\NInformation Technology.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.24,0:05:07.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Soon it will be Total\NInformation Technology, "TIT".
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.14,0:05:12.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when you're sucking on the tit,\NI have you by the motherboard.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.01,0:05:15.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't be afraid!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.32,0:05:18.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a nice day\Nin New York, my people.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.55,0:05:22.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,NY police have a catch and\Nrelease program. Way to go!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.19,0:05:27.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stop! OK, go on again!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.53,0:05:31.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're it!\NGet the fuck outta here!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.23,0:05:35.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I like NY on a day like today. For a\Nwhile everything went like "are you OK"?.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.17,0:05:40.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People're back to being newyorkers\Nlike "Have a nice day, asshole"!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.64,0:05:43.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Fuck you, my friend!\NEnjoy your day"!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.94,0:05:47.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the most beautiful thing about\Na day like today in this NY is
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.41,0:05:50.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the ladies\Ntake the twins for a walk!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.28,0:05:53.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, yeah, the tities are out today!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.15,0:05:59.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On a hot day all the tities are out\Nthere. And like God made them go...
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.93,0:06:03.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Beautiful tiddies, all shapes, sizes\Nand women running, they are going...
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.46,0:06:07.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then they hit a\Nbreeze and "chicken's done"!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.87,0:06:11.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes!\NYeah, baby!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.81,0:06:14.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These are not like\Nthe tits in Vegas,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.38,0:06:16.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where even God goes\N"I didn't make those"!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.21,0:06:21.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Weird tits. You know\Nfake tits are like nazis.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.55,0:06:23.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They don't laugh,\Nthey don't dance, they're just...
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.18,0:06:27.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm walking here"!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.39,0:06:30.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've seen a woman turn\Nand the tits stayed there.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.29,0:06:37.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Babies, lucky they don't have any\Nteeth becayse they'd knock them out.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.13,0:06:39.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've seen tits that are really bad,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.03,0:06:42.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like they had the nipples on the top,\Nit looked like Kilroy.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.08,0:06:53.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you go up Madison Avenue\Nyou see some hardcore surgery like...
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.28,0:06:58.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm so scared,\Nbut I can't express it".
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.69,0:07:03.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These are the ladies who've had\Nso much surgery, they're going
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.72,0:07:04.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What are these lumps\Nunder my eyes"?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.96,0:07:06.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Those are your tits, madam"!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.73,0:07:12.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- And what's this?\N- Don't ask, Mrs. Trotski!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.13,0:07:16.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is good news for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.87,0:07:19.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And girls getting\NBotox injections...?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.17,0:07:24.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Look, I don't have any wrinkles.\N- You also have no expression.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.48,0:07:28.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You look like you've had\Na slight coma, but you're beautiful.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.88,0:07:36.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When guys say to you "Baby, I want\Nyou to get your tits done for me, OK"?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.59,0:07:39.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Do it for me.\NDo it for your daddy man".
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.56,0:07:41.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you say\N"OK, daddy man"!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.10,0:07:45.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Then I want you to get\Nyour balls done for me, OK"?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.43,0:07:49.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to get\Nthose big old basket balls.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.87,0:07:53.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when you do the baywatch\Nthing, it's like...
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.41,0:07:59.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nothing drives a woman crazy like a\Nbig old Easter basket on her bunny.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.71,0:08:04.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you go to the doctor...
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.86,0:08:09.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Payback's a bitch!\NGo for it, girls!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.62,0:08:14.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because you went through a hard time.\NThis whole winter was so bizarre.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.23,0:08:19.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Temperatures were like 80, 20,\N30, 50. It was fucking weird!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.93,0:08:21.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The weathermen are going,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.54,0:08:23.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't fucking\Nknow what's going on"!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.57,0:08:27.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Let's just see what happens".
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.58,0:08:31.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Flowers were like Anne Heche\Ngoing "I'm out, I'm in, I'm out..."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.88,0:08:34.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't know where to go"!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.49,0:08:46.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,George came back from Japan, he went\N"I went to the Coyote Conference"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.16,0:08:49.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- No, it's Kyoto.\N- That's a very good car.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.100,0:08:52.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,George, walk away.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.53,0:08:54.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they say there's no global warming,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.94,0:08:57.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but right now the\NNorth Pole is a pool.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.57,0:09:02.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is beyond global warming,\Nat this point it is cooking.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.01,0:09:05.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's 105 in the middle of the country,\Nand people come up going,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:05.71,0:09:07.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Is it hot enough for you"?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.28,0:09:12.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"No, I like sweat to be rolling down\Nthe crack of my ass like Niagra".
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.55,0:09:17.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I like my old man\Ntities to lactate, my man".
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.02,0:09:22.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see people in shorts and you're\Ngoing "Please, don't wear those"!
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.13,0:09:25.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh please, don't put those on"!
Dialogue: 0,0:09:25.93,0:09:27.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you go to South West Airline\Nthey're going,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.64,0:09:31.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Sorry, you're not fat,\Nyou're horizontally challenged".
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.91,0:09:35.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Big people at South West\NAirlines have buy two seats.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.68,0:09:37.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The problem is that\Nthey are not together.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.85,0:09:43.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you have to put your\Ntits in the overhead rack.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.85,0:09:46.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People don't mind now.\NWe're working our way through.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.92,0:09:48.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All over the country\Nyou've got weird things.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.06,0:09:51.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In Houston they got Enron field.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.49,0:09:54.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We were gonna call it\N5th Amendment field but fuck..."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.53,0:09:58.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can't call it\N"We're fucked field"!
Dialogue: 0,0:09:58.73,0:10:02.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Arthur Anderson put in the\Nchairs, they spin both ways".
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.60,0:10:08.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And now Martha Stuart\Nmay become somebody's bitch.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.64,0:10:11.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.05,0:10:14.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Say it ain't so!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.48,0:10:18.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I like to consider it more\Nlike "severe companion".
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.45,0:10:23.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you only have one room, and I\Nlike to call it my "private space",
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.29,0:10:28.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,use the light well. You have vertical\Nbars, don't use horizontal blinds.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:28.96,0:10:32.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, think of your ankle\Nbracelet as an accessory.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.60,0:10:38.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first time she has lunch going\N"You call this keesh"?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.97,0:10:42.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Shut up, bitch!\NYou're inside now, you're mine!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.61,0:10:50.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All over things have been going good.\NI've been to Memphis, to Graceland.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.05,0:10:54.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I never knew that Ray Charles\Nhad a decorating license.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.46,0:10:56.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're some severe...
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.19,0:10:59.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're colours there that\Nhave never seen daylight.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.33,0:11:03.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been to Nashville, I've heard\Npeople sing songs like
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.36,0:11:08.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Take your finger outta my ass,\Ncause I'm leaving you behind"!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.30,0:11:14.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Funny ass shit people do now.\NI'm sweatin' like crazy up here.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.11,0:11:17.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's HBO, cause it's live.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.28,0:11:23.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People playing baseball.\NYou've got a good seat.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.05,0:11:25.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yankees are kicking\Nagain, way to go!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.39,0:11:32.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You did a good job.\NIt came through.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.63,0:11:36.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everybody's worried about people\Nplaying baseball on steroids.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.80,0:11:39.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's one quick way you tell
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.27,0:11:43.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on steroids, your balls shrink\Nand your head grows.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.24,0:11:44.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if someone steps up to the plate
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.70,0:11:47.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a Mardi Gras head and\NRaisinettes, "You're out"!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.48,0:11:51.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Poor Barry Bonds!\NThey won't pitch to him
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.74,0:11:52.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when they do it,\Nthey're trying to kill him.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.88,0:11:55.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's like Yasser Arafat\Nof baseball.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.98,0:11:59.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For Jerusalem I have\Nan interesting plan.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.79,0:12:02.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's called a timeshare,\Nlike Miami, let's try that.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:03.02,0:12:05.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jews will get Hanukah and Passover,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.99,0:12:08.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Christians will get\NChristmas and Easter
Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.56,0:12:11.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Muslims will have Ramadan\Nand that other holiday, Kaboom.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.27,0:12:18.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously, the people of HBO\Nare going "Oh, fuck off"!
Dialogue: 0,0:12:18.67,0:12:20.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What are you doing, you asshole"!
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.88,0:12:25.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm very excited\Nbecause this is my time
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.71,0:12:28.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I was watching\NWorld Cup Soccer, my man.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.62,0:12:30.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I saw world cup, baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:30.48,0:12:33.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a few soccer fans,\Nthe rest of you are going
Dialogue: 0,0:12:33.32,0:12:36.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Uh, that's like football\Nwithout pads, right"?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:36.62,0:12:38.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the rest of the\Nworld, it's football.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.83,0:12:41.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For us, it's "A strange sport,\Nplayed by damaged people".
Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.66,0:12:45.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We made it in the World Cup.\NEverybody plays it.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:45.13,0:12:48.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not like the World Series, cause the\NFrench don't have a baseball team.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:48.57,0:12:52.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If they did, they would only have\Nleft field and no one would be safe.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.44,0:12:54.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what I'm saying?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:55.24,0:12:59.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What can you do, huh?\NIt is Bastille day, alore!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.22,0:13:06.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The day that Marie Antoinette\Ngave the ultimate head. Look out!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.65,0:13:09.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are French. Fuck you, Americans,\NI don't care!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:10.82,0:13:14.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My friend Lance Armstrong is racing\Nright now in The Tour du France.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.86,0:13:18.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And every year the French\Ngo, "He is on chemicals".
Dialogue: 0,0:13:18.33,0:13:21.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It's chemotherapy,\Nyou little toad sucker".
Dialogue: 0,0:13:22.50,0:13:25.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, he has one testicle,\Nhe's aerodynamic.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.04,0:13:29.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everyone, cut off your balls.\NYou'll be quicker, do it!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:30.54,0:13:32.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't be afraid.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.31,0:13:37.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you look at the World Cup,\NAmerica finally made it.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:37.78,0:13:41.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We made it to the sixteen, baby!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:44.19,0:13:48.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're no longer in the\N"Special Olympics" category.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:49.66,0:13:52.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They used to see us coming "Give\Nit to them, they're damaged people"!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:53.47,0:13:58.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you for the ball.\NI got a ball. I shoot the ball!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:59.11,0:14:03.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unlike the Brazilians.\NWhen they play is like...
Dialogue: 0,0:14:05.28,0:14:07.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the fans are like...
Dialogue: 0,0:14:08.82,0:14:11.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Brazilians are going\N"Look, I'm playing soccer..."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:11.95,0:14:14.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Look, I'm scoring"!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.69,0:14:17.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And now I'm kicking the ball".
Dialogue: 0,0:14:17.92,0:14:22.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Soccer is kinda mellow, you know.\NIs a little passive agressive though.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:23.13,0:14:26.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't do anything...\NWhat are you looking at?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:26.97,0:14:28.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not like hockey, when someone\Ncomes up with a stick and goes
Dialogue: 0,0:14:29.14,0:14:30.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Bang, motherfucker"!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.30,0:14:32.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's why there are no\NSpanish hockey players.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:32.61,0:14:34.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When a white guy takes\Na stick and goes...
Dialogue: 0,0:14:35.21,0:14:37.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Motherfucker, I'm going\Nto cut you off now"!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:38.21,0:14:42.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And you, Freddie Krugger bitch,\Ntake off the mask, motherfucker"!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:42.55,0:14:44.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Coming in there!\NGoddamnit"!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:45.99,0:14:51.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes guys do this weird thing...\NThey fall down and pretend like...
Dialogue: 0,0:14:51.16,0:14:57.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I've been killed...\NI've been blinded..."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:57.93,0:15:03.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"There's nobody near me, huh?\NOK, I'm kidding"!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:04.10,0:15:06.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the referee comes over,\N"Yellow card"!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:07.91,0:15:10.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Two yellow cards,\N"Red card"!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:10.61,0:15:13.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hold on, three cards,\N"Green card"!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:15.02,0:15:16.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the referee is so sweet, too.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:18.99,0:15:23.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What's your name?\NTurn around".
Dialogue: 0,0:15:26.59,0:15:29.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Why didn't you call me\Nafter the Mexico game"?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:32.80,0:15:37.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not like football referees who have\Nthat "too much commercial time"!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:38.40,0:15:41.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mad white man dancing on the field!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:43.41,0:15:45.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Moving away.\NMoving away.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:48.62,0:15:51.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the World Cup they always\Nclaim there's bad refereeing,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:51.78,0:15:52.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,someone may have been paid off.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:53.32,0:15:55.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, shit, say it ain't so!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:56.02,0:16:00.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're telling me that the Oscars\Nare also political? Fuck off!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:02.20,0:16:04.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a game mafia!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:08.74,0:16:12.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The mov-hand!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:12.34,0:16:18.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fairy Godfather, "Does this\Npistol make my ass look big"?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:20.08,0:16:23.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you go to LA, there's a great\Ngreeting these people do, "Love ya"!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:23.98,0:16:27.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Love you"!\N"Hey, love you"!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:35.10,0:16:40.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The worst refereeing was in the\NWinter Olympics with the French judge.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:40.87,0:16:42.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once again, the\NFrench fuck with us!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:43.90,0:16:48.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Canadians, they skate perfectly.\N"We did it perfect, huh"!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:48.31,0:16:51.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then the Russians\Nthey come and fuck up
Dialogue: 0,0:16:51.24,0:16:55.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the French judge went, "How lifelike,\Nthey fucked up, I give it to them, eh"?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:56.08,0:16:59.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At that point I'm going "Where is\NTanya Harding when you need her"?
Dialogue: 0,0:17:00.65,0:17:04.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tanya would've been on that\Njudge like shit on Velcro.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:04.79,0:17:08.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Give me that medal,\Nyou French whore"!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:11.03,0:17:12.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I won"!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:14.03,0:17:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead we get to see\NTanya fight Paula Jones
Dialogue: 0,0:17:17.14,0:17:19.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in an all white trash weekend.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:22.24,0:17:24.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trailer park Tuesday!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:24.88,0:17:30.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tanya went right for the nose,\N"Not the nose, that's the Clinton money"!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:31.55,0:17:34.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next is gonna be Joey Butafuoco\Nfights John Wayne Bobbit.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:34.89,0:17:37.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There will be no hitting\Nbellow the belt there, my friend.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:38.63,0:17:42.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Fuck, man, give that back!\NMy balls are in the front row"!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:43.40,0:17:47.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's next? "The Nixon daughters\Nbattle for the library money".
Dialogue: 0,0:17:48.14,0:17:51.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Be there as my bitches go at it"!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:51.50,0:17:52.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At this point, even\NCaligula is going,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:53.04,0:17:55.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What the fuck\Nare you people doing"?
Dialogue: 0,0:17:55.91,0:17:57.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why don't you have\NHannibal Lector on Iron Chef
Dialogue: 0,0:17:58.01,0:18:00.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just kick out the jams?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:00.11,0:18:04.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cause we've got The Chamber,\NThe Chair, Fear Factor.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:04.18,0:18:07.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People in Texas are going\N"We got those shows".
Dialogue: 0,0:18:08.72,0:18:12.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We just don't film'em".
Dialogue: 0,0:18:12.16,0:18:16.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Two weeks ago, the Supreme Court banned\Nthe execution of retarded people.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:16.80,0:18:19.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People in Texas are going,\N"Shit, where's the fun now"?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:20.73,0:18:23.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cause they were zapping retarded\Npeople every other week.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:23.70,0:18:26.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was like, "Go sit on\NSanta's lap, Timmy".
Dialogue: 0,0:18:32.15,0:18:36.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I know the definition of\N"retarded" in Texas is pretty wide.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:42.82,0:18:44.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's crazy!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:49.66,0:18:53.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even the Taliban is going\N"You are crazy motherfuckers"!
Dialogue: 0,0:18:53.43,0:18:55.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a guy with one leg. They\Nweren't gonna give him a wodden leg.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:55.80,0:18:58.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was gonna be dead man hopping.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:01.48,0:19:04.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is a moment of compassion.\NBefore the lethal injection,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:04.94,0:19:07.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they do an alcohol swab,\Nwhich is so nice!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:11.12,0:19:12.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What the fuck are you doing"?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:13.59,0:19:17.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We don't want you to get\Nthat last-second infection"!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:19.53,0:19:21.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It's all safe now".
Dialogue: 0,0:19:22.36,0:19:26.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You remember the Winter Olympics.\NThey had them in Utah. Great place!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:26.60,0:19:29.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What, was Amish country booked,\Nwhat happened?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:29.60,0:19:34.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Come on down to Salt Lake!\NWe're gonna party like it's 1955".
Dialogue: 0,0:19:34.88,0:19:38.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Bring your wives. Oops!\NCome on down"!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:38.65,0:19:40.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At the closing ceremony\Nthey introduced
Dialogue: 0,0:19:40.88,0:19:43.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Donnie and Marie,\Nas the first couple of Utah.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:44.85,0:19:50.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went "Uh-uh, honey, no!\NThey're only a couple in Arkansas".
Dialogue: 0,0:19:54.100,0:19:59.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're going to Georgia,\NTed Turner and Jane Fonda broke up.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:00.23,0:20:04.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jane found God\Nand Ted found out it wasn't him.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:06.17,0:20:07.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're at the olympics once again,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:07.64,0:20:10.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're talking about\Nthe figure skating.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:10.64,0:20:13.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I find the figure skating\Nto be kinda sexy.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:13.85,0:20:17.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not ice dancing, which is polka\Non Valium. That's not good.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:18.08,0:20:21.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's that pairs figure skating.\NThere's that one very special lift.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:21.36,0:20:23.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where the male skater goes...
Dialogue: 0,0:20:24.12,0:20:25.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right here!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:25.83,0:20:29.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where even a gynecologist would go\N"Put on a glove, man"!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:29.63,0:20:33.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who's your daddy?\NWho's your daddy?
Dialogue: 0,0:20:35.74,0:20:37.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm going\N"Let's cut the foreplay,"
Dialogue: 0,0:20:37.24,0:20:39.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"let's have ice fucking,\Ncome on"!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:53.39,0:20:57.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she holds on without her hands!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:14.38,0:21:18.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even the French judge would go\N"I like it"!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:18.21,0:21:22.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't care. I'm giving them\Nthe medal. Fuck the Canadians"!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:22.48,0:21:24.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"So fabulous"!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:25.29,0:21:28.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's other kinda sexual things\Nin the Olympics, there's the louge,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:29.09,0:21:30.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about which I have only one question.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:30.42,0:21:34.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What drunken, German gynecologist\Ninvented that sport?
Dialogue: 0,0:21:36.33,0:21:39.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You know what? I want\Nto dress like a sperm,"
Dialogue: 0,0:21:39.57,0:21:43.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"shove an ice skate in my ass,"
Dialogue: 0,0:21:43.47,0:21:46.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"and go balls first\Ndown an ice chute".
Dialogue: 0,0:21:47.41,0:21:50.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Ya! That would be fun".
Dialogue: 0,0:21:52.15,0:21:54.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No! This is for pussies!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:55.22,0:21:57.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- How will you stir?\N- I will do kegels!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:58.89,0:22:01.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I will flex my ass\Nand go down the ramp"!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:03.32,0:22:06.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And do not talk to me\Nabout the two men louge.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:06.36,0:22:08.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm saying "Boys, get a room"!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:08.56,0:22:11.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Make that turn, you bastard, make it"!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:11.100,0:22:14.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hard right, you fucker, hard right"!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:15.24,0:22:20.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pour guy gets to the end of the run\N"I got wood man, I'm sorry"!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:20.44,0:22:22.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You cost us the race"!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:22.54,0:22:25.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Your penis going frr was\N200 of a second winds resistance"!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:26.61,0:22:28.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We could've won if you\Nweren't going brrring"!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:29.08,0:22:30.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Dolphin boy"!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:34.36,0:22:36.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's always some\Nhorrible drug scandal.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:36.79,0:22:39.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This year was a Spanish\Ncross-country skilor...
Dialogue: 0,0:22:39.29,0:22:40.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Skilor, which is like a skier.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:42.03,0:22:45.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Are you a skilor?\N- Yes!
Dialogue: 0,0:22:46.97,0:22:51.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They accused him of taking\Nsome performance enhancing drug.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:52.01,0:22:54.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like an elephant growth hormone.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:55.11,0:22:57.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Are you on some sort of drug"?
Dialogue: 0,0:22:59.55,0:23:02.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Are you taking an\Nanimal tranquilizer"?
Dialogue: 0,0:23:04.45,0:23:10.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they didn't bother\Ndrug testing the snowboarders.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:10.82,0:23:13.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Go, go my little boys, have fun"!
Dialogue: 0,0:23:14.70,0:23:17.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I guess they realized the word\N"half pipe" ment something.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:19.57,0:23:22.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember the kid who\Nwon the gold medal?
Dialogue: 0,0:23:22.90,0:23:24.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was in freestyle.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:24.60,0:23:29.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- You wanna be on a box of Whities?\N- No. Count Chocula.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:29.91,0:23:32.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A-ha! A clue, Sherlock!
Dialogue: 0,0:23:33.28,0:23:35.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The poor Canadian snowboarder,\Nin the 1998 Olympics,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:35.92,0:23:38.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they took away his medal because\Nhe tested positive for marijuana,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:38.72,0:23:39.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is kinda redundant number one.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:39.85,0:23:44.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Number two, they said that marijuana\Nwas a "performance-enhancing drug".
Dialogue: 0,0:23:48.100,0:23:53.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Marijuana enhances many things,\Ncolors, tastes, sensations,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:53.13,0:23:55.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you are certainly\Nnot fucking empowered.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:57.10,0:24:00.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you're stoned, you're lucky if\Nyou can find your own goddamn feet.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:01.64,0:24:03.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only way it's a\Nperformance-enhancing drug is
Dialogue: 0,0:24:03.84,0:24:06.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if there's a big fucking Hershey\Nbar at the end of the run.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:08.62,0:24:10.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then you'll be like...
Dialogue: 0,0:24:12.59,0:24:16.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then you'll be like a Swiss\Nski jumper going, "I'm there"!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:16.69,0:24:18.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pour Canadian snowboarder.\NThey asked for his medal back
Dialogue: 0,0:24:19.13,0:24:21.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he couldn't find it. It\Nwas around his fucking neck!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:22.56,0:24:25.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Get out of here, you little\Ngoofy Canadian bastard, eh?
Dialogue: 0,0:24:26.20,0:24:28.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have weird sports\Nlike the Biathalon
Dialogue: 0,0:24:28.14,0:24:30.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is like Norwegian drive-by.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:32.97,0:24:34.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Get the TV, Hans"!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:36.94,0:24:41.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Canadians won the\Ngold medal in hockey.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:41.58,0:24:46.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,God bless you Canadian people.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:46.49,0:24:48.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're so fucking nice, eh?
Dialogue: 0,0:24:49.52,0:24:52.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's your only\Nfucking sport, come on!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:53.69,0:24:55.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That and a mutant form of football.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:55.56,0:24:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We've got 13 men, we\Nhave a longer field"
Dialogue: 0,0:24:57.16,0:24:58.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"No, you have fun, enjoy"!
Dialogue: 0,0:25:00.87,0:25:04.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Canada's like a loft apartment\Nover a really great party.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:08.11,0:25:10.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Keep it down, eh"?
Dialogue: 0,0:25:13.91,0:25:17.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We are nice. We have Jean Chritien,\Nour great prime minister".
Dialogue: 0,0:25:17.68,0:25:20.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was the only man in the world who said,\N"I don't need no secret service"
Dialogue: 0,0:25:20.96,0:25:23.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"If a guy comes to hit me,\NI fucking knock him out, eh"?
Dialogue: 0,0:25:23.92,0:25:27.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm Jean Chritien which versus\Nyour president, who's a cretin".
Dialogue: 0,0:25:27.90,0:25:31.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Quebec keeps wanting to break away from\NCanada, but still keep the currency.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:32.63,0:25:33.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like a kid moving\Nout of the house,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:33.97,0:25:36.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-But I still would like to get money.\N-Fuck off you!
Dialogue: 0,0:25:37.97,0:25:41.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Canadian money is also\Ncalled the Looney.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:41.44,0:25:44.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How can you take an\Neconomic crisis seriously?
Dialogue: 0,0:25:45.75,0:25:48.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- The Looney is down!\N- Oh, how sad for you!
Dialogue: 0,0:25:49.52,0:25:50.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are you saying, eh?
Dialogue: 0,0:25:51.89,0:25:56.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everyone was so happy that at the\NOlympics the security was so tight.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:56.49,0:25:57.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Security was amazing\Nat the Olympics".
Dialogue: 0,0:25:58.16,0:26:00.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Utah's the whitest\Nfucking State in the Union!
Dialogue: 0,0:26:01.76,0:26:05.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,An Arab in Utah is like an albino\Nat the Apollo. You would notice!
Dialogue: 0,0:26:09.84,0:26:15.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- We found one!\N- He's just tanned. Everybody off!
Dialogue: 0,0:26:15.58,0:26:18.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The problem was that there was\Nbasically white powder everywhere.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:18.95,0:26:20.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All the dogs looking\Nfor anthrax were going
Dialogue: 0,0:26:22.85,0:26:24.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You go, man, you go"!
Dialogue: 0,0:26:25.08,0:26:27.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pour dogs they looked\Nfor anthrax and cocain.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:27.45,0:26:29.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the cage at the end\Nof the day they're going
Dialogue: 0,0:26:29.52,0:26:32.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I can't taste my ass,\NI don't know why..."
Dialogue: 0,0:26:34.90,0:26:36.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It's my tail"!
Dialogue: 0,0:26:38.73,0:26:40.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Meanwhile your cat\Nsits over there going
Dialogue: 0,0:26:40.63,0:26:42.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You're still an\Nasshole, you know that".
Dialogue: 0,0:26:43.70,0:26:46.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it me, or are cats drag queens?
Dialogue: 0,0:26:47.27,0:26:49.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The way they kinda go\N"Who loves Kitty"?
Dialogue: 0,0:26:54.01,0:26:55.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Are these your shoes"?
Dialogue: 0,0:26:57.95,0:27:00.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who loves Kitty?\NWho loves Kitty?
Dialogue: 0,0:27:01.06,0:27:03.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Male cats have that amazing thing,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:03.92,0:27:06.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where they kinda walk around going\N"That's mine"!
Dialogue: 0,0:27:08.80,0:27:11.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Mine"!
Dialogue: 0,0:27:12.07,0:27:14.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I like that too".
Dialogue: 0,0:27:14.64,0:27:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank God men aren't like that!
Dialogue: 0,0:27:17.04,0:27:20.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Nice car, Bob.\NMine now"!
Dialogue: 0,0:27:21.38,0:27:24.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What are you doing?\N- Just shopping!
Dialogue: 0,0:27:38.59,0:27:40.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The whole anthrax thing\Nhad people going...
Dialogue: 0,0:27:40.73,0:27:43.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They said\N"Don't open your mail"!
Dialogue: 0,0:27:44.03,0:27:47.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Why?\N- There's white powder in envelopes.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:47.43,0:27:49.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Really"!?
Dialogue: 0,0:27:51.00,0:27:53.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Your mother and I used to look\Nfor white powder in envelopes"!
Dialogue: 0,0:27:53.61,0:27:55.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We weren't on-line.\NWe did lines, my friend".
Dialogue: 0,0:27:56.94,0:28:00.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And there were ninjas on the\Nfucking lawn, trying to kill us"!
Dialogue: 0,0:28:01.82,0:28:03.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And now, there are people\Ntrying to kill us.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:04.12,0:28:05.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's why\NI bought a gas mask.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:06.35,0:28:11.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't even get a condom\Non when I want to!
Dialogue: 0,0:28:11.82,0:28:17.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hey, baby. Yeah, I got\Na love glove. Hold on".
Dialogue: 0,0:28:20.80,0:28:22.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'll be right with you, honey".
Dialogue: 0,0:28:22.70,0:28:26.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't go away on me now".
Dialogue: 0,0:28:30.74,0:28:32.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're playing "Beat the cock".
Dialogue: 0,0:28:34.05,0:28:36.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I got it, I got it"!
Dialogue: 0,0:28:39.55,0:28:43.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's your penis like a\Nmidget in a diving suit...
Dialogue: 0,0:28:43.92,0:28:45.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't think we're\Ngoing in today, Pete".
Dialogue: 0,0:28:47.09,0:28:48.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We didn't make the deadline".
Dialogue: 0,0:28:58.17,0:29:02.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember when they sent anthrax\Nto Tom Daschle's office?
Dialogue: 0,0:29:03.34,0:29:04.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they cleared that\Nfucking place out.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:05.21,0:29:09.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Everybody out, come on"!\NHelmets, suits, they're all leaving.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:09.88,0:29:10.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when the Congressman\Nwalked out they go
Dialogue: 0,0:29:10.85,0:29:13.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"But the rest of you,\Ngo about your lives".
Dialogue: 0,0:29:14.69,0:29:16.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Everything is perfectly OK".
Dialogue: 0,0:29:16.96,0:29:19.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We'll be miles away".
Dialogue: 0,0:29:19.26,0:29:22.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like when you go to the dentist\Nand he puts a little lead bib over your balls.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:22.73,0:29:26.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He walks behind concrete, going\N"You'll be fine"!
Dialogue: 0,0:29:30.90,0:29:32.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How can you tell\Nif Congress was sick?
Dialogue: 0,0:29:32.64,0:29:35.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's night of the living dead anyway.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:35.31,0:29:38.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All those old senators going
Dialogue: 0,0:29:38.44,0:29:42.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The confederate flag is just\Nthe symbol of state's rights".
Dialogue: 0,0:29:42.15,0:29:45.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, and the swastika\Nis just a Tibetan good luck charm.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:50.09,0:29:52.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When did Ted Kennedy\Nbecome Jabba the Hutt?
Dialogue: 0,0:29:54.23,0:29:56.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's huge!
Dialogue: 0,0:29:56.60,0:29:59.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're a Kennedy, not a Maisy's\Nday float, come on!
Dialogue: 0,0:30:00.23,0:30:03.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bring him down.\NWe're voting!
Dialogue: 0,0:30:04.10,0:30:08.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Step away, boy.\N"I said no to the Crispy Cream".
Dialogue: 0,0:30:09.61,0:30:13.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Congress recently\Napproved the covert plan
Dialogue: 0,0:30:13.18,0:30:15.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to assassinate Saddam Hussein.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:18.59,0:30:21.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what they've done,\Nis publicly approve
Dialogue: 0,0:30:21.96,0:30:24.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the secret plan to\Nassassinate Hussein.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:25.89,0:30:28.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wonder if he knows?
Dialogue: 0,0:30:30.56,0:30:36.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know there's a cure for bio\Nterrorism that they sent at us.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:37.40,0:30:40.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it lies within\NKeith Richards, I know that.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:41.24,0:30:42.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He is the only man on the planet\Nwho can go,
Dialogue: 0,0:30:42.41,0:30:46.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Anthrax?\NAll right..."
Dialogue: 0,0:30:49.85,0:30:53.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Doesn't go with my\NE. cola, but fuck"!
Dialogue: 0,0:30:54.86,0:30:59.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Keith is the only man who can make\Nthe Osbornes look fucking Amish.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:00.29,0:31:05.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've seen him go to a drug\Ndealer who said "I'm out, man"!
Dialogue: 0,0:31:06.10,0:31:07.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I have nothing left".
Dialogue: 0,0:31:07.94,0:31:10.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Supposedly he goes to Switzerland\Nand changes his blood.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:10.44,0:31:13.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not like one pint, but like a\Nfucking Chevrolette, all of it.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:14.01,0:31:16.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just wanna know\Nwho gets his blood?
Dialogue: 0,0:31:17.08,0:31:18.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some old Swiss man's going,
Dialogue: 0,0:31:18.38,0:31:22.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Heidi!\NWe've gotta go on tour, you bitch"!
Dialogue: 0,0:31:23.08,0:31:26.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We've gotta pay for mixed babies".
Dialogue: 0,0:31:27.79,0:31:30.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We may all be dead and gone,
Dialogue: 0,0:31:30.62,0:31:34.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Keith will still be there\Nwith five cockroaches.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:34.56,0:31:37.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Keith'll go, "I smoked\Nyour uncle, did you know that"?
Dialogue: 0,0:31:38.97,0:31:41.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Fucking crazy..."
Dialogue: 0,0:31:42.37,0:31:46.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every so often,\NRumsfeld comes out and goes,
Dialogue: 0,0:31:46.31,0:31:49.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't know where.\NI don't know when".
Dialogue: 0,0:31:50.98,0:31:53.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"But something awful's\Ngoing to happen".
Dialogue: 0,0:31:54.15,0:31:57.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Thank you, that's all for today,\Nno further questions".
Dialogue: 0,0:31:58.12,0:32:00.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Excuse me, can you give me a clue?
Dialogue: 0,0:32:00.75,0:32:03.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is it, the Central\N"Intuitive" Agency now?
Dialogue: 0,0:32:04.76,0:32:07.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you working with Miss Cleo?
Dialogue: 0,0:32:10.43,0:32:13.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't know where,\NI don't know when,"
Dialogue: 0,0:32:13.20,0:32:15.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"but somethin'\Nawful's gonna happen"!
Dialogue: 0,0:32:16.27,0:32:17.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And definitely don't\Nmarry that fat man".
Dialogue: 0,0:32:17.90,0:32:19.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"He only wants you\Nfor your money, girl"!
Dialogue: 0,0:32:20.77,0:32:24.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People are suing Miss Cleo for fraud.\NI went "Fucking duh"!
Dialogue: 0,0:32:26.01,0:32:31.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What do you want? A blind tarot\Ncard before you go, "A-ha"!
Dialogue: 0,0:32:31.78,0:32:35.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If she's a psychic, why does\Nshe need a fuckin' phone number?
Dialogue: 0,0:32:36.62,0:32:38.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Number two, that\Nfake Jamaican accent?
Dialogue: 0,0:32:39.06,0:32:41.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If she was a real psychic,
Dialogue: 0,0:32:41.60,0:32:45.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she'd be one of those Louisiana\Npsychics going, "You gonna die"!
Dialogue: 0,0:32:45.93,0:32:47.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"They have to puck your ass up"
Dialogue: 0,0:32:47.47,0:32:49.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"so they can pull a place for\Nyour bike, come on now"!
Dialogue: 0,0:32:50.30,0:32:52.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like buying hair\Ncare products from Cher.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:53.04,0:32:55.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She's wearing a wig, you idiot!
Dialogue: 0,0:32:56.01,0:32:59.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Take that abdominal thing...\N"Help you lose weight"
Dialogue: 0,0:32:59.38,0:33:02.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"while it shocks your fat ass\Nsitting watching TV".
Dialogue: 0,0:33:03.15,0:33:07.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm getting six-pack abs\Nby knocking my testicles around"!
Dialogue: 0,0:33:08.12,0:33:10.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You strap that to your head.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:11.79,0:33:15.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And say, "I will not buy\Nstupid shit for no reason"!
Dialogue: 0,0:33:24.77,0:33:26.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now we are in troubled times.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:26.61,0:33:29.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When it happened, I thought\Nthe Statue of Liberty would change.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:29.28,0:33:31.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead of "Give me your\Ntired and your poor,"
Dialogue: 0,0:33:31.24,0:33:33.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it would be her with a baseball\Nbat going "You want a piece of me"?
Dialogue: 0,0:33:34.52,0:33:38.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was hardcore security.\NIn NY stopping people in the tunnel..
Dialogue: 0,0:33:39.45,0:33:42.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In Washington they had F-18s\Nflying, air cover everywhere.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:42.72,0:33:45.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In San Francisco,\Nnot so hardcore security.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:46.36,0:33:49.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At Golden Gate Bridge there's a\NHummer, and I'm talking about the car.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:54.30,0:33:58.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One Hummer here, two National Guardsmen,\Nsame at the other end of the bridge.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:59.24,0:34:01.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The problem is that the Hummer\Nand the National Guardsmen
Dialogue: 0,0:34:01.14,0:34:02.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are in jungle camouflage.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:03.34,0:34:07.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For those who never been to SF,\Nthe bridge is bright orange.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:08.08,0:34:12.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I feel like going\N"Be vewy, vewy quiet".
Dialogue: 0,0:34:13.15,0:34:17.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We're wooking for tewwowists".
Dialogue: 0,0:34:21.76,0:34:24.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Airport security, before\Nall this happened it was like,
Dialogue: 0,0:34:24.53,0:34:27.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Beep, OK, get\Non the plane, come on".
Dialogue: 0,0:34:28.24,0:34:31.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What's that? Oh, that's a gun.\NOK, get on the plane".
Dialogue: 0,0:34:32.67,0:34:36.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You could carry a four inch blade,\Nthat's about that long.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:41.94,0:34:45.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, you can't even carry\Na nail-clipper on a plane.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:46.05,0:34:47.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are they afraid you're\Ngonna go "All right"!
Dialogue: 0,0:34:48.98,0:34:53.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Give me the plane\Nor the bitch loses a cuticle".
Dialogue: 0,0:34:53.52,0:34:57.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I have a nail file.\NI can be irritating".
Dialogue: 0,0:34:58.09,0:35:01.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you have a steak or any piece\Nof meat, they won't give you a knife.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:01.96,0:35:04.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's like\N"Quest for Fire" flight.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:11.57,0:35:14.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Sir, you're making a lot of noise".
Dialogue: 0,0:35:14.84,0:35:18.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Hindu man in the back is going\N"Hold the bowl higher".
Dialogue: 0,0:35:18.95,0:35:21.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't be afraid to beg,\Nuse your hands."
Dialogue: 0,0:35:22.78,0:35:26.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now the airport security is tight.\NYou go through the metal detector
Dialogue: 0,0:35:26.86,0:35:29.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if you are heavily pierced,\Nlike some of my friends...
Dialogue: 0,0:35:30.32,0:35:31.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Take out your keys, sir".
Dialogue: 0,0:35:31.99,0:35:34.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Tip of the iceberg".
Dialogue: 0,0:35:42.60,0:35:47.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For those playing the home game,\Nthis is called a Prince Albert.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:47.74,0:35:49.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sure that was his last wish.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:50.31,0:35:52.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sure Albert said,\N"Victoria, I'm dying".
Dialogue: 0,0:35:53.92,0:35:57.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I want you to name a\Nmuseum, a performance hall"
Dialogue: 0,0:35:57.15,0:35:59.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"and a bolt through\Nthe cock after me".
Dialogue: 0,0:35:59.65,0:36:03.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That will be Victoria's Secret.\NGo, my darling".
Dialogue: 0,0:36:03.89,0:36:07.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Sell little thongs to people\Nlike they had little anal floss".
Dialogue: 0,0:36:08.76,0:36:10.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm talking heavily pierced.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:10.60,0:36:12.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not like Britney Spears\N"I'm a virgin"!
Dialogue: 0,0:36:12.57,0:36:15.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah and Michael Jackson\Nis a father. Move on!
Dialogue: 0,0:36:15.80,0:36:17.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm talking like a hoop\Nthrough your nipple.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:17.77,0:36:20.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, lady...\NI'm guessing!
Dialogue: 0,0:36:24.38,0:36:29.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just kinda the way your\Nclothes are going...
Dialogue: 0,0:36:29.45,0:36:33.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you have a big hoop, what\Nyou're gonna do? Tie up a pony? No!
Dialogue: 0,0:36:34.22,0:36:38.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or you have two. He's and her's\Ntowels, whatever you want!
Dialogue: 0,0:36:38.63,0:36:40.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A towel down here,\Nso you can wash up. Fun!
Dialogue: 0,0:36:41.30,0:36:44.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's interesting when you see a girl\Nwith a bolt through her tongue.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:45.07,0:36:46.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why did you do that?
Dialogue: 0,0:36:46.44,0:36:49.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"To enahthe\Nthe thekthual thtimulathion".
Dialogue: 0,0:36:51.87,0:36:53.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Nothing drives my boyfriend crazy"
Dialogue: 0,0:36:53.64,0:36:57.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"like the feel of cold\Nsteel on his hot rod".
Dialogue: 0,0:36:57.41,0:36:59.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"But the problem is I ended up\Nknocking out all my teeth"
Dialogue: 0,0:36:59.45,0:37:01.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"and living in a trailer park\Nwith a man named Bubba".
Dialogue: 0,0:37:02.88,0:37:04.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the trade-off, my darling.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:04.92,0:37:07.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You get the tatoo with\Na barb wire when you're 18
Dialogue: 0,0:37:07.59,0:37:10.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and by the time you're 80\Nit's fucking picket fence.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:11.06,0:37:15.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Madonna turns into\NMargaret Hamilton going,
Dialogue: 0,0:37:15.83,0:37:20.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm dying, melting".
Dialogue: 0,0:37:20.20,0:37:20.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's what you wanna do.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:20.94,0:37:24.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was growing up I didn't have\NPlayboy or Penthouse. Sad for me!
Dialogue: 0,0:37:24.91,0:37:26.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I had National Geographic
Dialogue: 0,0:37:26.94,0:37:29.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the girls that got me crazy...
Dialogue: 0,0:37:30.24,0:37:33.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know the ones with\Nthe slinky neck going...
Dialogue: 0,0:37:34.22,0:37:38.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do that, drive your parents crazy\Nwhen you come down the stairs...
Dialogue: 0,0:37:38.85,0:37:40.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or do the full ubangy go,
Dialogue: 0,0:37:40.86,0:37:45.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Mom, dad, it's also a CD-player".
Dialogue: 0,0:37:46.43,0:37:48.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you can take out the plate\Nand jump-rope with your lower lip.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:48.83,0:37:49.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have fun!
Dialogue: 0,0:37:50.43,0:37:52.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Watch grandma go "Shit"!
Dialogue: 0,0:37:59.81,0:38:02.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Union guys going\N"Don't touch it, Mr. Williams"!
Dialogue: 0,0:38:09.88,0:38:13.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This shit is gonna be\Nmore precious than oil.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:14.56,0:38:17.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ten years from now, it's already\Nstarting to happen. People going,
Dialogue: 0,0:38:19.43,0:38:21.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I got water".
Dialogue: 0,0:38:21.80,0:38:25.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And if you want it cold,\NI got ice, motherfucker".
Dialogue: 0,0:38:26.77,0:38:31.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Going on the planes now, a sweet\Nlittle Southern stewardess goes,
Dialogue: 0,0:38:31.77,0:38:35.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Ladies and gentlemen,\Nbefore we board flight five,"
Dialogue: 0,0:38:35.18,0:38:38.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"we're just gonna do a few\Nrandom bag checks".
Dialogue: 0,0:38:38.05,0:38:40.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"These are totally random".
Dialogue: 0,0:38:41.15,0:38:43.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm just gonna read off\Na few names".
Dialogue: 0,0:38:47.16,0:38:49.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Has'N'T'Been' Seen"?
Dialogue: 0,0:38:51.66,0:38:52.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Akeem Been'Laid"?
Dialogue: 0,0:38:53.96,0:38:55.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Have'N'T'Been Fucked"?
Dialogue: 0,0:38:57.50,0:38:59.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Judy Smith"?
Dialogue: 0,0:38:59.63,0:39:01.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fourteen arabs and a blonde...?
Dialogue: 0,0:39:02.37,0:39:06.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And every black and Hispanic man in\Nthe room is going "Thank you, God"!
Dialogue: 0,0:39:06.71,0:39:10.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, yes, we're off the list,\Nmotherfucker, yeah"!
Dialogue: 0,0:39:12.71,0:39:15.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"They man's gonna be fucking\Nwith you now, Habib".
Dialogue: 0,0:39:16.18,0:39:18.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You better learn to go orderly".
Dialogue: 0,0:39:19.35,0:39:22.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They take the knitting needles\Nfrom the eighty-year-old lady,
Dialogue: 0,0:39:22.46,0:39:25.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Why, cause I'm gonna knit\Nan Afghan?" Give 'em to me!
Dialogue: 0,0:39:26.23,0:39:28.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the five year old kid, they're\Npatting him down, he's going,
Dialogue: 0,0:39:28.46,0:39:31.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What are you doing?\NYou're not a priest, let go of me!"
Dialogue: 0,0:39:37.51,0:39:40.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you've had\Na problem too, I guess.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:40.41,0:39:42.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Father pats little boys down, like,
Dialogue: 0,0:39:42.41,0:39:45.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Good game, boy, good game!\NWash up Timmy, really wash up!"
Dialogue: 0,0:39:47.05,0:39:51.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They catch them, but they had the\Ndivine witness protection program.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:52.39,0:39:53.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Find the priest,\Nhere's the pedophile,
Dialogue: 0,0:39:53.76,0:39:56.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,here's the priest,\Nfind the pedophile...
Dialogue: 0,0:40:01.10,0:40:04.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't you ask, don't you tell,\Nyou might end up right in Hell.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:05.33,0:40:08.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's your check, direct from Rome,\Nbuy yourself a brand new home.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:09.34,0:40:13.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Isn't it amazing?\NThe Pope...
Dialogue: 0,0:40:18.85,0:40:20.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Applause break number two.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:21.68,0:40:25.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was amazing when the Pope gathered\Nall the cardinals in Rome and went...
Dialogue: 0,0:40:26.66,0:40:29.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only problem is, he's dressed\Nlike Liberace's stunt double.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:31.73,0:40:33.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a solution, though!
Dialogue: 0,0:40:34.20,0:40:37.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For problem priests, a little shock\Ncollar, going near a kid it's like,
Dialogue: 0,0:40:37.53,0:40:39.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You know, Timmy..."
Dialogue: 0,0:40:41.60,0:40:42.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Tommy, I think..."
Dialogue: 0,0:40:44.51,0:40:46.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or the automated confessional,\Ncould be fun.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:46.71,0:40:49.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"If this is a venal sin, press one".
Dialogue: 0,0:40:50.54,0:40:52.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"If this is a carnal sin, press two".
Dialogue: 0,0:40:53.18,0:40:56.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"If this is cardinal Law,\Nplease stay on the line".
Dialogue: 0,0:40:56.68,0:41:01.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Because you have to remember,\Nit's not just a sin, it's a felony"!
Dialogue: 0,0:41:01.16,0:41:03.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we have to keep track!
Dialogue: 0,0:41:12.27,0:41:15.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right now they're up there watching.\N"Hi, Mr. Ashcroft".
Dialogue: 0,0:41:17.34,0:41:20.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're now under the offices\Nof Homeland Security.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:21.18,0:41:24.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tom Ridge ever so often goes,\N"Today is a blue day, no, orange, red"!
Dialogue: 0,0:41:26.45,0:41:29.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They had to be very careful picking\Nthat name "Homeland Security".
Dialogue: 0,0:41:29.65,0:41:31.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Couldn't say Fatherland because\Na lot of the old Germans are going
Dialogue: 0,0:41:32.05,0:41:33.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That's a good one"!
Dialogue: 0,0:41:35.49,0:41:38.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But Homeland Security, it\Nsounds like Homefront Security,
Dialogue: 0,0:41:38.23,0:41:40.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which was England during WWII.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:40.53,0:41:44.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Old men with pitchforks and colostomy\Nbags, defending England!
Dialogue: 0,0:41:44.83,0:41:47.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There they were,\NRudolph has personally...
Dialogue: 0,0:41:47.37,0:41:50.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I threw my colostomy bag,\Ncovered him in shite"
Dialogue: 0,0:41:50.30,0:41:52.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and said "Get out of that fokker,\Nyou fucker, get out"!
Dialogue: 0,0:41:55.41,0:41:58.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I also find out now,\Nthat Winston Churchill,
Dialogue: 0,0:41:58.28,0:42:00.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one of the greatest\Norators of all time,
Dialogue: 0,0:42:00.65,0:42:05.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,may have been so fucked\Nup on cognac and champagne,
Dialogue: 0,0:42:05.09,0:42:07.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that he didn't do some\Nof his great speeches.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:07.69,0:42:12.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They were done by a man from the BBC,\Nwho also did "Winnie the Pooh".
Dialogue: 0,0:42:13.60,0:42:18.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We will fight them on the beaches,\Nin the air, on the land"!
Dialogue: 0,0:42:18.33,0:42:19.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Eeyore and Tigger"!
Dialogue: 0,0:42:22.07,0:42:24.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And, he was fighting against Hitler!
Dialogue: 0,0:42:24.91,0:42:27.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A man who recently a book\Ndeclared was a homosexual,
Dialogue: 0,0:42:27.58,0:42:29.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I always thought\Nthis was a clue!
Dialogue: 0,0:42:30.38,0:42:32.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That and the leather and the dancing!
Dialogue: 0,0:42:35.85,0:42:38.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are now finding ourselves\Nonce again drown to England
Dialogue: 0,0:42:38.35,0:42:39.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,during these troubled times.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:39.35,0:42:41.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tony Blair, a militant liberal.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:41.16,0:42:44.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Over here, George W. Bush,\Ncompassionate conservative.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:44.53,0:42:47.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sounds kinda like a Volvo\Nwith a gun rack, but...
Dialogue: 0,0:42:49.73,0:42:53.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Over here, Tony Blair, a man who\Nmust adress the House of Commons,
Dialogue: 0,0:42:53.90,0:42:56.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is like Congress, with a\Ntwo drink minimum, crazy place!
Dialogue: 0,0:42:58.17,0:43:01.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I believe my worthy opponents...\N- Oh, fuck off!
Dialogue: 0,0:43:02.01,0:43:04.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Shite, bollocks, you bastard!\NFuck you"!
Dialogue: 0,0:43:04.81,0:43:06.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Would someone remove\NMs. Tatcher from the chamber?
Dialogue: 0,0:43:10.25,0:43:13.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tony said, "This heinous\Nincident has brought us"
Dialogue: 0,0:43:13.86,0:43:14.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"to the edge of oblivion..."
Dialogue: 0,0:43:15.02,0:43:17.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"But our civilization shall endure"!
Dialogue: 0,0:43:17.19,0:43:21.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there's poor W. going,\N"Shit, I can't even spell that".
Dialogue: 0,0:43:23.23,0:43:26.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cause you look at Bush\Nand you realize it's Bush 2.0.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:27.90,0:43:31.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a beta release. He came with\Ncertain bugs in the software.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:31.97,0:43:34.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"This country will\Nnot be taken hostile,"
Dialogue: 0,0:43:34.21,0:43:36.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,oops, delete, delete, "hostage".
Dialogue: 0,0:43:38.11,0:43:41.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you look at him and realize\Nhe has a short attention spam.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:41.58,0:43:45.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Our economy is going...\Noh, look at the kitty".
Dialogue: 0,0:43:47.89,0:43:51.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He kinda reminds me of the guy in\Ncollege with a towel going, "Gotcha"!
Dialogue: 0,0:43:53.86,0:43:55.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You just don't want him to drive.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:56.50,0:43:58.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some men are born great,\Nsome achieve greatness,
Dialogue: 0,0:43:59.10,0:44:01.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some get it as a graduation gift.\NThat's OK!
Dialogue: 0,0:44:02.67,0:44:04.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Historically...
Dialogue: 0,0:44:08.31,0:44:10.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You must look at it\Nfrom a historical perspective.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:11.38,0:44:13.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's George the second.\NThe boy-king.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:13.05,0:44:15.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A man we thought could\Nonly lose, but somehow won,
Dialogue: 0,0:44:15.78,0:44:18.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of confused Hebrews.\NYes!
Dialogue: 0,0:44:20.56,0:44:25.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,W. doesn't speak while Channey's\Ndrinking water. Check that shit out!
Dialogue: 0,0:44:31.17,0:44:32.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When everything went down,
Dialogue: 0,0:44:32.23,0:44:34.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they put W. out there, but\Nthey protected Channey.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:39.00,0:44:42.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Channey had an angioplasty.\NMost people wait 'til it heals.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:43.11,0:44:45.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was like,\N"I'm perfectly fine"!
Dialogue: 0,0:44:46.21,0:44:48.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm OK"!
Dialogue: 0,0:44:49.55,0:44:53.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there's Ashcroft in the back,\N"Work the arms, you asshole"!
Dialogue: 0,0:44:54.59,0:44:58.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to remember,\NJohn Ashcroft is a man
Dialogue: 0,0:44:58.72,0:45:01.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who lost to a dead man in Missouri.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:01.99,0:45:07.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Choices in Missouri were\NJohn Ashcroft, Dead Man.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:07.77,0:45:09.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And people in Missouri went,
Dialogue: 0,0:45:09.47,0:45:14.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm sorry John, the dead man\Nscares me less than you do".
Dialogue: 0,0:45:21.21,0:45:23.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's the drill for me.\NYou know what's strange?
Dialogue: 0,0:45:26.85,0:45:29.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It doesn't scare me that\NW. waved at Stevie Wonder.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:29.49,0:45:31.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's OK.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:35.09,0:45:37.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stevie's only been blind since birth!
Dialogue: 0,0:45:37.93,0:45:40.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there's W. going,\N"Stevie"!
Dialogue: 0,0:45:40.60,0:45:44.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even Stevie Wonder's going,\N"Is that motherfucker waving at me"?
Dialogue: 0,0:45:46.30,0:45:50.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Does he think I'm looking\Nfor him? Goddamn"!
Dialogue: 0,0:45:52.08,0:45:54.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No! What scares me,
Dialogue: 0,0:45:54.58,0:45:58.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that W. almost died\Nfrom a fucking pretzel.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:59.68,0:46:01.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have billions of\Ndollars in national defense.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:02.12,0:46:05.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They want billions more\Nfor national security.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:05.69,0:46:08.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he almost fucking goes\Ndown from snack food!
Dialogue: 0,0:46:09.56,0:46:12.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Secret Service are going\N"Game's over, man"!
Dialogue: 0,0:46:12.76,0:46:15.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Gilligan's down.\NGilligan's down".
Dialogue: 0,0:46:17.57,0:46:20.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Step away from the chip, sir"!
Dialogue: 0,0:46:21.97,0:46:25.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have to have people go\N"Hydrate, you bastard"!
Dialogue: 0,0:46:26.61,0:46:29.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His own dogs didnt' give a shit.\NThey were licking him for the salt.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:34.92,0:46:37.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You need a dog that cares.\NA dog like Lassie, who'd go...
Dialogue: 0,0:46:41.43,0:46:43.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What's wrong, Lassie?\NThe President swallowed something"
Dialogue: 0,0:46:43.43,0:46:44.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"and you did the Heimlich"?
Dialogue: 0,0:46:45.80,0:46:47.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What else, girl"?
Dialogue: 0,0:46:49.13,0:46:52.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Mr. Channey is meeting\Nwith the Enron people"?
Dialogue: 0,0:46:54.37,0:46:58.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"An Enron employee\Nis secretary of the Navy"?
Dialogue: 0,0:46:58.64,0:46:59.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What about the Harken loan"?
Dialogue: 0,0:47:00.51,0:47:03.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Sorry, girl, we gonna\Nhave to put you down".
Dialogue: 0,0:47:04.08,0:47:09.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, Kenny Boy.\NThe Feds, the Feds are coming.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:16.29,0:47:19.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Welcome, boys and girls,\Nto Disney's new ride.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:19.72,0:47:22.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Investment pirates of the Caribbean.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:23.36,0:47:26.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your money checks in,\Nit doesn't check out.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:29.70,0:47:32.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes you catch George unprepared\Nand he says unusual things.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:32.64,0:47:38.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Mr. Bush, what are we gonna do?\N- We're gonna conduct a crusade.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:38.51,0:47:41.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And everybody in the room went...
Dialogue: 0,0:47:41.31,0:47:43.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ix-nay on the ucrade-say!
Dialogue: 0,0:47:45.65,0:47:51.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All throughout the Middle East...
Dialogue: 0,0:47:51.32,0:47:54.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hide the women and children and\Nthe number zero, they're coming!
Dialogue: 0,0:47:55.16,0:47:57.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you can't bomb the Afghanis\Nback to the stone age
Dialogue: 0,0:47:58.13,0:48:00.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they'll go\N"Upgrade. Fun"!
Dialogue: 0,0:48:02.00,0:48:06.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Today's bombing raid has enlarged the\Nhole from yesterday's bombing raid.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:06.27,0:48:09.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have moved trouble\Nfrom here, to here.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:09.04,0:48:12.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Goat in the upper right corner,\Npossible member of the Taliban,
Dialogue: 0,0:48:12.18,0:48:14.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or "concubine", we're not sure.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:14.48,0:48:17.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We did fire the 100 million dollars cruise\Nmissile up its ass and were successful.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:18.55,0:48:21.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Operation "Extreme Redundancy"\Nis carrying on!
Dialogue: 0,0:48:22.89,0:48:28.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then we started to drop bombs,\Nfood, food, bombs.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:28.23,0:48:29.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And here's the fun part.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:29.56,0:48:32.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some of the bombs were\Nlittle yellow bombs,
Dialogue: 0,0:48:32.20,0:48:34.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the food packages were\Nlittle yellow packages.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:34.93,0:48:38.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So now you're playing\N"Survivor The Real Game".
Dialogue: 0,0:48:38.50,0:48:42.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"OK Bob, I was here yesterday...\NI'm gonna go for this one today..."
Dialogue: 0,0:48:43.71,0:48:45.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what was in those packages?
Dialogue: 0,0:48:47.08,0:48:48.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pop-Tarts, peanut butter,
Dialogue: 0,0:48:48.65,0:48:52.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all you need is honey-baked ham\Nand you got a Redneck Christmas.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:54.48,0:48:56.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who dropped the honey-baked ham\Non the Muslims?
Dialogue: 0,0:48:59.22,0:49:03.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why are we dropping Pop-Tarts\Nand peanut butter on Afghanistan?
Dialogue: 0,0:49:03.39,0:49:05.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Number one, it tastes a shit load\Nbetter than dirt.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:07.33,0:49:08.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Number two and more importantly,
Dialogue: 0,0:49:08.90,0:49:10.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,very difficult\Nto have a call to Jihad
Dialogue: 0,0:49:11.04,0:49:13.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a mouth full of peanut butter.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:20.08,0:49:23.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Secondly, or thirdly,\Nfor those keeping track...
Dialogue: 0,0:49:25.05,0:49:28.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Afghanistan is a hasheesh\Nsmoking culture.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:28.85,0:49:31.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And everyone who's ever been\Na friend of the Hooka will go,
Dialogue: 0,0:49:31.86,0:49:34.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Pop-Tarts"!
Dialogue: 0,0:49:41.53,0:49:45.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes! Got milk?\NCome and get me!
Dialogue: 0,0:49:45.57,0:49:49.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're trying to win hearts\Nand minds. How do we do that?
Dialogue: 0,0:49:49.14,0:49:52.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do we build an amusement park\N"Muslim Mountain" with Gadafi Duck? No!
Dialogue: 0,0:49:54.55,0:49:57.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do we have a wet burger contest? No!
Dialogue: 0,0:49:57.88,0:50:01.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do we play Cat Stevens\Nrecords all day? Fuck off!
Dialogue: 0,0:50:06.09,0:50:07.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Drop Martha Stuart's tits? No!
Dialogue: 0,0:50:08.79,0:50:11.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do we have a children show\Ncalled "Saudi Dudi"? No!
Dialogue: 0,0:50:13.69,0:50:18.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What we must do is we gotta get\Na sister. You know what I'm sayin'?
Dialogue: 0,0:50:18.46,0:50:20.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You gotta get a sister from Brooklyn.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:21.07,0:50:23.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what I mean, a-ha, girl?\NYou know what I'm sayin'?
Dialogue: 0,0:50:23.77,0:50:26.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of those bitches you\Nsee on Jerry Springer.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:27.17,0:50:29.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Drop her ass in Kabul and she'll go,
Dialogue: 0,0:50:29.48,0:50:33.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Girl, you don't have to dress\Nlike a mother fucking bee keeper"!
Dialogue: 0,0:50:36.58,0:50:40.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You don't have to be\NCasper's bitch, forget all that"!
Dialogue: 0,0:50:42.79,0:50:44.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"If he picks up a rock, cause\Nyou're talking to another man,"
Dialogue: 0,0:50:44.89,0:50:48.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you pick a bigger rock and say\N"Shit has hit the fan, motherfucker"!
Dialogue: 0,0:50:50.26,0:50:52.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"He tries to cut off your clitoris,\Nmake you a Barbie doll,"
Dialogue: 0,0:50:52.60,0:50:55.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you grab a knife and say\N"Lorena Bobbit time"!
Dialogue: 0,0:50:55.97,0:50:59.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't make me go cobra, I will go\NOprah on your ass. Don't make me"!
Dialogue: 0,0:51:00.61,0:51:02.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're dealing with fundamentalists...
Dialogue: 0,0:51:02.94,0:51:04.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Amish are fundamentalists,\Nbut they don't try
Dialogue: 0,0:51:04.48,0:51:06.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and hijack a carriage at needlepoint.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:06.81,0:51:09.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And, if you're ever in Amish\Ncountry and you see a man
Dialogue: 0,0:51:09.92,0:51:12.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with his hand buried in a\Nhorse's ass, that's a mechanic.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:16.02,0:51:18.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who are we looking for?
Dialogue: 0,0:51:19.43,0:51:21.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ossama Bin Laden, one of 52 children.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:22.13,0:51:24.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even Freud would say,\N"He has issues".
Dialogue: 0,0:51:25.27,0:51:27.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What does he look\Nlike without the beard?
Dialogue: 0,0:51:27.27,0:51:30.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Howard Stern, Barbra Streisand?\NI don't know, I don't care!
Dialogue: 0,0:51:30.40,0:51:34.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know this he's a six foot five\NArab on dialysis...
Dialogue: 0,0:51:34.64,0:51:37.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why is that so fucking hard to find?
Dialogue: 0,0:51:37.71,0:51:42.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look for somebody attached\Nto their luggage.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:44.65,0:51:49.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you see the tapes\Nof him, you see a psychopath.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:50.42,0:51:53.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wait a minute.\NWe have some of our own!
Dialogue: 0,0:51:54.03,0:51:56.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Theodor Kasinsky, sitting around\Nwith nothing to do.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:57.20,0:52:00.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ted's played "A Beautiful Mind",\Nthe home game.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:00.83,0:52:04.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You give Ted a mailing list\Nand some tools...
Dialogue: 0,0:52:04.44,0:52:06.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ted, these people have been bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:06.21,0:52:08.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Are they bad?\N- Very bad!
Dialogue: 0,0:52:08.58,0:52:12.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I just want a few things.\N- I know you do!
Dialogue: 0,0:52:12.85,0:52:16.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or we get Charles Manson. Great\Norganizer, incredible with chicks.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:17.12,0:52:18.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't use him.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:18.65,0:52:20.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chucky all the time\Ncomes out for parole
Dialogue: 0,0:52:20.85,0:52:23.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a swastika on his forehead.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:23.36,0:52:25.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I'm better.\N- In many ways, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:25.96,0:52:28.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What would you do if you got out?\N- I'd kill everybody.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:30.83,0:52:32.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are we dealing with?
Dialogue: 0,0:52:33.40,0:52:36.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of the fundamental\Nthings is in a Jihad.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:36.90,0:52:40.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sounds like a country\Nwestern term like "jee-ha"!
Dialogue: 0,0:52:41.28,0:52:43.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you are in a Jihad\Nand you kill an infidel
Dialogue: 0,0:52:43.94,0:52:45.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which, I'm sad to say, is all of us,
Dialogue: 0,0:52:46.45,0:52:48.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you yourself die...
Dialogue: 0,0:52:48.25,0:52:49.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you go to heaven\Nand you are greated
Dialogue: 0,0:52:49.78,0:52:51.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by 71 dark-haired virgins.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:52.25,0:52:53.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now everyone who's ever been\Nwith one virgin is going...
Dialogue: 0,0:52:53.92,0:52:55.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't know..."
Dialogue: 0,0:52:57.76,0:52:59.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"For my talent portion..."
Dialogue: 0,0:53:02.46,0:53:05.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Recently, there was a\Narticle in the New York Times,
Dialogue: 0,0:53:05.33,0:53:06.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a Coran scholar said
Dialogue: 0,0:53:06.93,0:53:09.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The actual translation is not\N71 dark-haired virgins,"
Dialogue: 0,0:53:09.70,0:53:12.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"but 71 crystal clear raisins".
Dialogue: 0,0:53:16.34,0:53:19.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Slight difference in\Ninterpretation, really.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:19.85,0:53:23.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like finding out "thou shalt not\Nkill" is "thou shalt not wear a kilt".
Dialogue: 0,0:53:24.52,0:53:27.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the Scotish are going,\N"Fuck off"!
Dialogue: 0,0:53:28.09,0:53:31.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine some guy blows himself up,\Ngoes to the gates of Heaven sayin',
Dialogue: 0,0:53:31.52,0:53:34.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Where are my bitches?\N- Here're your raisins.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:35.73,0:53:39.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or 71 Virgils going,\N"You got a pretty mouth"!
Dialogue: 0,0:53:41.60,0:53:44.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ossama Bin Laden goes\Nto the gates of Heaven,
Dialogue: 0,0:53:44.70,0:53:45.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's George Washington waiting,
Dialogue: 0,0:53:45.64,0:53:47.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"How dare you defile that\Nwhat we created"
Dialogue: 0,0:53:47.91,0:53:49.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and starts violating on his ass.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:49.51,0:53:53.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,70 other members of the Congress\Nstart kicking the shit outta him.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:53.91,0:53:55.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then he's going,\N"Where're the virgins"?
Dialogue: 0,0:53:55.92,0:53:58.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"71 Virginians, you asshole"!
Dialogue: 0,0:54:03.49,0:54:05.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I must talk to Jesus Christ"!
Dialogue: 0,0:54:05.53,0:54:07.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Where is Jesus Christ"?
Dialogue: 0,0:54:07.63,0:54:11.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Saint Peter goes,\N"Hey, Jesus, did you call a cab"?
Dialogue: 0,0:54:15.64,0:54:19.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I heard it. Finally the PCs.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:19.21,0:54:20.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We crossed\Nthe politically correct line.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:20.98,0:54:23.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's OK to beat the shit out of them,\Nbut don't do the Ethnic joke.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:28.15,0:54:29.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How Buddhist of you!
Dialogue: 0,0:54:30.35,0:54:31.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember when they\Ndestroyed the two Buddhas?
Dialogue: 0,0:54:32.05,0:54:33.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What did Buddha do?\NNothing!
Dialogue: 0,0:54:34.19,0:54:35.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What does the Buddhist terrorist do?
Dialogue: 0,0:54:36.12,0:54:39.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Goes in the middle of the street,\Ntakes the gas... Self barbecue!
Dialogue: 0,0:54:39.96,0:54:42.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People're killing each other\Nin the name of God're going,
Dialogue: 0,0:54:42.40,0:54:43.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What the fuck are you doing"?
Dialogue: 0,0:54:44.36,0:54:46.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Making you deal\Nwith your shit".
Dialogue: 0,0:54:46.47,0:54:49.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't understand the whole\Nfundamentalist thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:49.37,0:54:51.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm an Episcopal.\NThat's catholic light.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:53.37,0:54:57.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Same religion, half the guilt.\NIt's frightening.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:57.48,0:54:59.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Catholics have confession,\Nepiscopals have
Dialogue: 0,0:55:00.01,0:55:03.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks Giving, your dad\Nhas a couple of gin and tonics...
Dialogue: 0,0:55:04.32,0:55:07.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I never loved you mother,\Nyou know that, don't ya"!?
Dialogue: 0,0:55:08.06,0:55:11.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I didn't, dad. And she's\Nright there. Tell her again".
Dialogue: 0,0:55:13.09,0:55:17.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Episcopal is basicly Church of\NEngland which was Henry the 8th
Dialogue: 0,0:55:17.100,0:55:21.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,breaking away from the Catholic Church\Ngoing, "I'm the fucking Pope now"!
Dialogue: 0,0:55:22.20,0:55:24.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then people broke\Naway from that church,
Dialogue: 0,0:55:25.10,0:55:27.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Calvinists found him\Nto be too loose.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:27.98,0:55:32.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then the Puritans broke away from\Nthe Calvinists, our ancestors,
Dialogue: 0,0:55:32.25,0:55:35.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people so uptight, the\NEnglish kicked them out.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:35.45,0:55:40.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How anal do you have to be for the\NEnglish to go "Get the fuck out"!
Dialogue: 0,0:55:41.06,0:55:44.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Take your pimp shoes and go"!
Dialogue: 0,0:55:44.72,0:55:47.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they land here in\NAmerica going "Hello"!
Dialogue: 0,0:55:47.66,0:55:51.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We bring you guilt,\Nsyphilis and alcohol".
Dialogue: 0,0:55:51.43,0:55:53.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Here chief, try this\Nand once you drunk it,"
Dialogue: 0,0:55:54.00,0:55:56.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"keep moving towards your\Nfeathers float. There you go"!
Dialogue: 0,0:55:57.04,0:55:59.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the Indians go\N"We have a gift for you".
Dialogue: 0,0:55:59.84,0:56:04.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"For us is a sacred herb. For you\Nit will be an addictive carcinogen".
Dialogue: 0,0:56:05.14,0:56:10.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Tobacco is a lot of fun.\NAnd a good cash crop, yeah".
Dialogue: 0,0:56:19.03,0:56:23.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Welcome to Custers.\NThe Casino that cares".
Dialogue: 0,0:56:23.36,0:56:26.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"This is my wife,\NSits-with-a-full-house".
Dialogue: 0,0:56:27.13,0:56:29.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It is now time for the\Nwhite man to get drunk,"
Dialogue: 0,0:56:29.44,0:56:31.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"and we'll get back the land\Nyou took from us".
Dialogue: 0,0:56:33.24,0:56:38.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Puritans stayed here\Nand groups broke away from them
Dialogue: 0,0:56:38.95,0:56:42.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then we got the people\Nwho knock on your door
Dialogue: 0,0:56:42.15,0:56:43.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at 6:30 in the morning\Non Sunday going,
Dialogue: 0,0:56:43.95,0:56:46.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Have you found Jesus"?
Dialogue: 0,0:56:46.69,0:56:48.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You just wanna come to\Nthe door nude and go
Dialogue: 0,0:56:48.49,0:56:50.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"No, help me look for him!\NCome on"!
Dialogue: 0,0:56:54.50,0:56:57.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People like Pat Robinson\Nand Jerry Falwell say
Dialogue: 0,0:56:57.100,0:56:59.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"This was brought upon\Nus by our sinful ways".
Dialogue: 0,0:57:00.13,0:57:02.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanna put them on a plane,\Ntake them to the ayatollah
Dialogue: 0,0:57:02.74,0:57:05.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and have world wide\Nfundamentalist wrestling.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:05.37,0:57:09.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"One time only. A life after death\Nmatch for all of our souls".
Dialogue: 0,0:57:10.14,0:57:12.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Let's get ready to humble"!
Dialogue: 0,0:57:12.91,0:57:16.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's the drill. Fundamentalists\Ntake it to be "the word".
Dialogue: 0,0:57:16.72,0:57:19.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not translatable, not metaphorical,\N"the word".
Dialogue: 0,0:57:19.69,0:57:22.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the Genesis, "Let there be light"!\NCould that be a metaphor for the Big Bang?
Dialogue: 0,0:57:22.96,0:57:25.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"No. God just went click".
Dialogue: 0,0:57:27.13,0:57:30.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are all descendant from Adam\Nand Eve, then we are all cousins?
Dialogue: 0,0:57:30.73,0:57:32.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That's right"!
Dialogue: 0,0:57:37.17,0:57:39.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are miracles in the Bible.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:39.47,0:57:43.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like when Moses, and I'm not\Ntalking "Guns 'N' Moses", no!
Dialogue: 0,0:57:43.94,0:57:44.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not Charlton Heston going,
Dialogue: 0,0:57:45.08,0:57:47.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Let the Jews go or the pharaoh\Ngets two in the head"!
Dialogue: 0,0:57:48.55,0:57:49.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Charlton Heston,\Na man who said,
Dialogue: 0,0:57:49.92,0:57:53.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Guns don't kill people.\NApes with guns kill people".
Dialogue: 0,0:57:54.39,0:57:57.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, Chucky! The second amendment
Dialogue: 0,0:57:57.12,0:57:59.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,started from people\Ngoing like this...
Dialogue: 0,0:57:59.46,0:58:00.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that still continues.\NThat's OK!
Dialogue: 0,0:58:01.30,0:58:05.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When Moses said to pharaoh\N"Let my people go".
Dialogue: 0,0:58:05.47,0:58:07.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And pharaoh went\N"In your dreams"!
Dialogue: 0,0:58:07.74,0:58:11.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Moses called the God,\N"God, I need some help"!
Dialogue: 0,0:58:11.30,0:58:14.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And frogs fell from the sky.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:14.64,0:58:18.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or maybe there were Jews\Nwith catapults going "Now"!
Dialogue: 0,0:58:19.61,0:58:24.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank God it wasn't the French,\Ncause they would go "Lunch"!
Dialogue: 0,0:58:25.08,0:58:29.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You're great caterers, I can't\Nlet you go, you crazy people"!
Dialogue: 0,0:58:30.39,0:58:35.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Frogs fell from the sky. I would\Nbe going "Get your shit and out"!
Dialogue: 0,0:58:36.13,0:58:39.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said wait a minute! That's what\Nwe should drop on Afghanistan.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:39.70,0:58:43.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not bombs, not food...\NFucking frogs!
Dialogue: 0,0:58:43.50,0:58:46.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Frogs, lizards, hamsters, gerbils,\Nshit they haven't seen.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:47.58,0:58:51.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you wanna get people out\Nof caves, a shit load of NY rats.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:56.55,0:59:00.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,NY rats would be going\N"Hey, come on, raid"!
Dialogue: 0,0:59:00.99,0:59:03.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I eat pussy literarly.\NBring it on"!
Dialogue: 0,0:59:04.72,0:59:09.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even then pharaoh was not impressed\N"Please, David Copperfield, no"!
Dialogue: 0,0:59:09.83,0:59:11.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then boils and\Nthen first born dies.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:12.10,0:59:14.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That's it! Hebrews get out"!
Dialogue: 0,0:59:14.67,0:59:15.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And everybody...
Dialogue: 0,0:59:17.70,0:59:19.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Let's not wait for the bread to rise".
Dialogue: 0,0:59:19.67,0:59:22.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Just get the crackers and the skin\Noff your penis, we're leaving"!
Dialogue: 0,0:59:24.54,0:59:26.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Excuse me! Why the skin\Noff the penis?
Dialogue: 0,0:59:26.61,0:59:29.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We're travelling, people.\NYou don't want sand in there".
Dialogue: 0,0:59:30.45,0:59:33.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And this is so passe! The dicky\Nthing, forget it. Let's move"!
Dialogue: 0,0:59:34.52,0:59:36.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're going to the desert.\NThen they get the 10 commandments,
Dialogue: 0,0:59:36.86,0:59:39.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that would be ajusted later\Nby certain presidents.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:40.56,0:59:42.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they get to the Red Sea.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:43.16,0:59:46.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they go "What now,\NMr. Magic, what do we do now"?
Dialogue: 0,0:59:46.83,0:59:49.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're gonna walk on the\N"fregs bocks", the "frogs bucks"...
Dialogue: 0,0:59:50.00,0:59:51.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Frogs backs!
Dialogue: 0,0:59:51.97,0:59:54.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you for watching me this far.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:56.08,0:59:58.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously, I did inhale.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:02.52,1:00:04.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What do we do now, Mr. Big Shot"?
Dialogue: 0,1:00:04.75,1:00:08.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he calls to God again\Nand the sea parts.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:08.79,1:00:12.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And even the most doubting\NJew is going "You're good"!
Dialogue: 0,1:00:12.39,1:00:18.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's move, don't eat the shellfish,\NI'll tell you why later.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:19.27,1:00:20.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where are we going?
Dialogue: 0,1:00:20.60,1:00:23.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"To Jerusalem to start\Nyears of struggling,"
Dialogue: 0,1:00:23.20,1:00:26.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"and later to Miami\Nto fuck up an election".
Dialogue: 0,1:00:30.84,1:00:34.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then the pharaoh comes, the sea\Ncloses and he calls to his cat-like God
Dialogue: 0,1:00:34.35,1:00:38.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the cat-like God can't do shit,\Ncause it's afraid of water.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:41.96,1:00:44.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then there's another miracle.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:44.92,1:00:49.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The night that Mary said to Joe\N"Joe, I'm pregnant".
Dialogue: 0,1:00:50.20,1:00:53.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Joe went "Holy Mother of God"!\NShe went "You're right"!
Dialogue: 0,1:00:54.97,1:00:58.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh, Jesus Christ!\N- What a great name, Joe!
Dialogue: 0,1:00:59.07,1:01:02.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That is so much better\Nthan Shmul. Way to go"!
Dialogue: 0,1:01:02.44,1:01:05.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I love you, Joe!\N- Hold on a minute, Mary.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:05.04,1:01:07.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- So I'm the step father of God's kid?\N- Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:07.51,1:01:09.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I can't discipline him,\NI can't tell him he's wrong,"
Dialogue: 0,1:01:09.68,1:01:12.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cause he'll look to me saying\N"You're not my real dad".
Dialogue: 0,1:01:12.65,1:01:15.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- How did it happen?\N- It's immaculate, Joe.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:15.29,1:01:19.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It better be, Mary!\NIt better be immaculate"!
Dialogue: 0,1:01:19.43,1:01:24.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sorry I'm transforming\NJoe into Ralph Cramdon.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:26.33,1:01:30.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Up to that point, all the names\Nin the Bible are very Jewish.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:30.70,1:01:35.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have Noah, Moses, Zebedee\Nand then you get Mary and Joe.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:35.21,1:01:38.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're just a hyphenate away\Nfrom Mary-Jean and Joe-Bob.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:39.51,1:01:42.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We could've had Jim Bob,\Nthe son of God.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:43.18,1:01:46.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Praise to him, Jim-Bob.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:46.22,1:01:51.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He, who finds the stuff\NAnd gets me a job, Jim-Bob!
Dialogue: 0,1:01:52.03,1:01:56.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jesus was an only child.\NThank God!
Dialogue: 0,1:01:56.50,1:01:59.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who would want to be Jerry,\Nthe brother of Christ?
Dialogue: 0,1:02:01.67,1:02:03.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a tough gig.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:04.00,1:02:05.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Come on, Jerry,\Nwe're going to the beach".
Dialogue: 0,1:02:05.41,1:02:08.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Jesus's gonna walk on the water,\Nfeed everybody, heal them"
Dialogue: 0,1:02:08.74,1:02:10.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"and get a whole buch\Nof disciples".
Dialogue: 0,1:02:10.08,1:02:13.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'll sat there with a rash and sand\Nin my ass. Great day for me"!
Dialogue: 0,1:02:15.78,1:02:20.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He ends up in a bar at the age of 30 going\N"Yeah, I'm Jerry Christ, whoo-dee-doo"!
Dialogue: 0,1:02:23.16,1:02:27.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yeah, I healed sombody. Come\Nhere Spot, heel! Look at that"!
Dialogue: 0,1:02:29.96,1:02:34.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Jesus is a carpenter, I'm\Na plumber. You do the math"!
Dialogue: 0,1:02:35.54,1:02:39.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And people say to me Jesus wasn't\NJewish. Of course he was Jewish!
Dialogue: 0,1:02:39.61,1:02:42.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thirty years old, single, living\Nat home with his parents, come on.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:43.54,1:02:44.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Working in his father's business,
Dialogue: 0,1:02:45.11,1:02:47.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,his mother thought he was\NGod's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up!
Dialogue: 0,1:02:49.48,1:02:51.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's an old tradition!
Dialogue: 0,1:02:52.25,1:02:55.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if he was Jewish, and many\Nof his Disciples were Jewish,
Dialogue: 0,1:02:55.49,1:02:58.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for the Last Supper, would they\Nhave not gone out for Chinese?
Dialogue: 0,1:02:59.66,1:03:02.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Welcome to Yah-Weh. Hold on\None minute, no service, no sandals".
Dialogue: 0,1:03:02.63,1:03:03.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"OK, you come in now".
Dialogue: 0,1:03:03.80,1:03:08.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You're twelve. All I got is two\Ntables of six. They're not together".
Dialogue: 0,1:03:08.97,1:03:14.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I got one big table by the window,\Nbut you all have to face this way".
Dialogue: 0,1:03:18.24,1:03:22.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You are glowing, so I guess we won't\Nneed that lamp, that's very nice"!
Dialogue: 0,1:03:22.88,1:03:26.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You've just turned a Szechwan chicken\Ninto a live chicken, you very good!"
Dialogue: 0,1:03:27.89,1:03:32.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's said that night, Jesus\Nturned to his disciples,
Dialogue: 0,1:03:32.26,1:03:34.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and said "One of you\Nshall betray me".
Dialogue: 0,1:03:34.66,1:03:37.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Peter said, "Is it me, Jesus"?\NJesus said, "It is not you Peter".
Dialogue: 0,1:03:38.33,1:03:42.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Simon said, "Is it me, Jesus"?\NJesus said, "It is not you Simon".
Dialogue: 0,1:03:42.47,1:03:44.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Judas said\N"Is it me, Jesus"?
Dialogue: 0,1:03:44.10,1:03:47.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Jesus turned to him\N"Is it me, Jesus"!?
Dialogue: 0,1:03:49.01,1:03:50.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thus you see\Ntwo traditions beginning
Dialogue: 0,1:03:51.01,1:03:54.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jewish sarcasm and gentile\Nhumor. Together born!
Dialogue: 0,1:03:55.52,1:04:00.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The next day the miracle occured.\NCrucifixion, Resurrection,
Dialogue: 0,1:04:00.19,1:04:02.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he rose again from the\Ndead and if he sees his shadow
Dialogue: 0,1:04:03.06,1:04:05.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,another 2,000 years of guilt.\NYes!
Dialogue: 0,1:04:06.13,1:04:10.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For me, the one big question is how\Ndo you get Crucifixion, Resurrection
Dialogue: 0,1:04:10.93,1:04:13.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then chocholate bunnies,\Ncoloured eggs?
Dialogue: 0,1:04:15.74,1:04:17.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How do you do that one?
Dialogue: 0,1:04:17.84,1:04:21.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even kids are going "Rabbits\Ndon't lay eggs. What is this"?
Dialogue: 0,1:04:22.04,1:04:25.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you don't want a kid bitting\Nthe head off a chocholate Jesus.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:26.55,1:04:30.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't want a cream\Nfilled cross going...
Dialogue: 0,1:04:30.75,1:04:32.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't wanna put raspberry\Njam in the grass going
Dialogue: 0,1:04:32.92,1:04:34.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We're looking for Jesus,\Nkids, come one"!
Dialogue: 0,1:04:35.76,1:04:38.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are we trying to do?\NYou're trying to keep them involved.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:39.09,1:04:41.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's why we have all the saints\Nthat did all those amazing things.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:43.53,1:04:45.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're all there\Nto keep your action up.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:46.47,1:04:48.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then we're starting\Nto lose them.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:48.57,1:04:49.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like Saint Christopher...
Dialogue: 0,1:04:49.84,1:04:52.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Chris, sorry, babe.\NDashboard sales are down".
Dialogue: 0,1:04:54.81,1:04:55.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The medals aren't selling well".
Dialogue: 0,1:04:56.04,1:04:59.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Drop the kid off your back, pick\Nup your stuff, you're outta here".
Dialogue: 0,1:04:59.35,1:05:02.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We're gonna have Saint Prada,\Nall ladies accesories".
Dialogue: 0,1:05:03.52,1:05:06.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I want a saint\Nlike Mother Teresa.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:06.72,1:05:10.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said "You can do only\Nsmall things with great love".
Dialogue: 0,1:05:10.72,1:05:13.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Pat Robinson said\N"She's not a real Christian"!
Dialogue: 0,1:05:13.23,1:05:16.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Why? Cause she doesn't have\Ntag shelther and a university"?
Dialogue: 0,1:05:17.46,1:05:21.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mother Teresa never had a line\Nof products, her own perfume...
Dialogue: 0,1:05:21.74,1:05:24.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Compassion" by Mother Teresa.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:24.77,1:05:27.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I smell, because I care.\NCompassion"!
Dialogue: 0,1:05:28.41,1:05:30.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gandhi never had "Gandhi Jeans"...
Dialogue: 0,1:05:31.68,1:05:35.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Whether you're simply not eating or\Ntelling the English to get the fuck out"!
Dialogue: 0,1:05:36.48,1:05:39.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"They come in size one and below".
Dialogue: 0,1:05:40.55,1:05:42.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gandhi was an amazing man.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:42.99,1:05:44.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They asked him "What do you\Nthink about Western civilization"?
Dialogue: 0,1:05:45.16,1:05:47.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said "I think it would\Nbe a wonderful idea".
Dialogue: 0,1:05:48.36,1:05:53.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As beatific as Gandhi was, there\Nwas somebody in a Bombay bar going
Dialogue: 0,1:05:54.34,1:05:58.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I know Gandhi.\NHe was a prick".
Dialogue: 0,1:05:59.64,1:06:03.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I saw him sucking on a pork hot-dog,\Nhitting on Mother Teresa".
Dialogue: 0,1:06:03.41,1:06:06.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"He kept saying\NWho's your diaper daddy"?
Dialogue: 0,1:06:09.28,1:06:10.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I saw that with my eyes".
Dialogue: 0,1:06:10.85,1:06:14.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"If you don't believe me, I'll\Nbitch slap you like Shiva".
Dialogue: 0,1:06:15.76,1:06:18.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't press this.\NDon't fucking do that"!
Dialogue: 0,1:06:19.29,1:06:21.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't go ding-dong,\Nyou asshole"!
Dialogue: 0,1:06:22.30,1:06:24.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Cause India has the\Natomic bomb, my friend".
Dialogue: 0,1:06:24.23,1:06:27.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I could turn this whole\Nplace into Chicken Tika".
Dialogue: 0,1:06:27.77,1:06:29.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,India has the bomb.\NPakistan has the bomb.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:29.60,1:06:31.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we're prepared\Nto fight over Kashmir.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:31.44,1:06:34.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And your president probably thought\Nit was a sweater. What an asshole!
Dialogue: 0,1:06:36.44,1:06:40.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,India detonated\N700 ground nuclear tests.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:40.81,1:06:43.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pakistan detonated\N700 ground nuclear tests.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:43.32,1:06:45.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And your spy satelites were\Nlike Ray Charles in the Louvre.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:45.99,1:06:47.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They didn't have a fucking clue.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:49.49,1:06:52.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,India has the bomb.\NPakistan has the bomb.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:52.36,1:06:53.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,China has the bomb.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:53.46,1:06:56.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or maybe they just have one\Nbillion people go "Boom"!
Dialogue: 0,1:06:57.56,1:07:01.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Russia has the bomb.\N"We have many bombs".
Dialogue: 0,1:07:02.47,1:07:05.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We don't know\Nwhere they all are"!
Dialogue: 0,1:07:06.91,1:07:09.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe you want a dirty bomb.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:11.31,1:07:13.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the French have a bomb, too.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:14.22,1:07:16.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe they have the Michelin\Nbomb that only destroys
Dialogue: 0,1:07:17.08,1:07:18.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,restaurants under four stars.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:20.05,1:07:23.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They still test their bombs.\NThey still detonate their bombs.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:23.72,1:07:25.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where did they do\Nthe undeground test?
Dialogue: 0,1:07:25.43,1:07:26.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the Sahara,\Nin the total wasteland?
Dialogue: 0,1:07:26.99,1:07:31.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, fuck off!\NIn Tahiti! In paradise.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:31.73,1:07:34.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why?\N"Because we're French".
Dialogue: 0,1:07:35.14,1:07:37.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, look a Green Peace\Nboat's come to protest".
Dialogue: 0,1:07:37.27,1:07:38.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Fuck off, I sink you".
Dialogue: 0,1:07:39.37,1:07:41.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm the baddest mother\Nfucker, am I not"?
Dialogue: 0,1:07:41.98,1:07:44.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Look, I'm giving a\Ncigarette to a baby".
Dialogue: 0,1:07:46.11,1:07:51.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Suck on the cigarette.\NLife is shit. Get to know this".
Dialogue: 0,1:07:51.72,1:07:54.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You, Americans.\NFuck all of you Americans"!
Dialogue: 0,1:07:57.36,1:08:01.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Americans, you politically correct.\NYou cultureless crack Americans".
Dialogue: 0,1:08:01.73,1:08:03.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We hate all of you.\NFuck off"!
Dialogue: 0,1:08:03.66,1:08:07.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The Germans are here...\NHello, Americans"!
Dialogue: 0,1:08:08.84,1:08:14.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I love you!\NCome on, Americans".
Dialogue: 0,1:08:15.68,1:08:18.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Welcome back, Americans"!
Dialogue: 0,1:08:18.84,1:08:20.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You can build a Disneyland\Nnear Paris".
Dialogue: 0,1:08:22.22,1:08:24.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We won't go, but build it".
Dialogue: 0,1:08:24.98,1:08:28.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It will have a Minnie mouse with\Narmpit hair. It will be great"!
Dialogue: 0,1:08:29.22,1:08:33.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Smoking a Galloise, going\N"I never loved Mickey".
Dialogue: 0,1:08:33.73,1:08:37.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"He has three fingers. What am I,\Na bowling ball? Fuck off"!
Dialogue: 0,1:08:38.73,1:08:39.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't love him"!
Dialogue: 0,1:08:45.07,1:08:48.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But there is one country\Nthat watches out for all of us
Dialogue: 0,1:08:48.44,1:08:52.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Swiss, ya!\NThe Geneva Convention.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:52.31,1:08:54.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If there's ever a nuclear war,\Nthey will be the only people going
Dialogue: 0,1:08:54.98,1:08:56.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What was that noise"?
Dialogue: 0,1:08:57.72,1:08:59.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In their big hollowed out country,
Dialogue: 0,1:08:59.55,1:09:01.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with their chocholate\Nand their watches. Ya!
Dialogue: 0,1:09:02.32,1:09:04.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The nice Germans. Ya!
Dialogue: 0,1:09:05.22,1:09:08.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or, as they like to say,\N"the other white race".
Dialogue: 0,1:09:09.16,1:09:11.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have only one question.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:11.16,1:09:16.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How can you trust an army, that\Nhas a wine opener on it's knife?
Dialogue: 0,1:09:18.20,1:09:21.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Many of you, men, have never\Nopened Chardonnay under fire".
Dialogue: 0,1:09:25.21,1:09:29.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You take out the wine bottle,\Npull out the cock and throw"!
Dialogue: 0,1:09:30.12,1:09:33.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't know, but I've been told,\NChardonnay must be self-cold".
Dialogue: 0,1:09:34.85,1:09:39.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My God! Where did all this\NImpresionistic art come from?
Dialogue: 0,1:09:40.23,1:09:43.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And all these jewelry\Nfrom 1939 to 1945?
Dialogue: 0,1:09:44.26,1:09:47.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fairies must've brought\Nit during the night.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:47.53,1:09:51.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have to do the Heimlich and\Ncough up an account number.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:52.61,1:09:54.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know this one thing...
Dialogue: 0,1:09:54.28,1:09:58.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know there's one country that is not\Ndeveloping a weapon of destruction.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:58.71,1:10:02.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That does not have a secret\Nweapon's lab up in the mountains.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:02.15,1:10:03.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jamaica!
Dialogue: 0,1:10:06.95,1:10:09.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jamaica would never make\Nan atomic bomb.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:09.72,1:10:12.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They may make\Nan atomic bong.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:13.13,1:10:16.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'd rather fight the war with an atomic bong\Ncause, when the atomic bomb goes off,
Dialogue: 0,1:10:16.76,1:10:19.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's devastation and radiation.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:19.53,1:10:23.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When the atomic bong goes off,\Nthere's celebration!
Dialogue: 0,1:10:28.61,1:10:30.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Smokes a split for the communion.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:30.71,1:10:32.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't see Jesus then,\Nyou never will.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:35.55,1:10:38.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know only one thing.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:38.42,1:10:41.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I never met me\Nan angry pot smoker.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:41.59,1:10:47.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I never met a man who said\N"Hey, you fucking prick"!
Dialogue: 0,1:11:01.21,1:11:05.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, fuck"!
Dialogue: 0,1:11:05.38,1:11:06.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What was I gonna do"!?
Dialogue: 0,1:11:08.42,1:11:10.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hold me, you piece of shit.\NGet over here"!
Dialogue: 0,1:11:10.98,1:11:15.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because you see,\Nmarihuana...
Dialogue: 0,1:11:18.69,1:11:21.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know this one.\NWait a minute.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:29.47,1:11:31.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you smoke a lot of pot, you may\Nnever become a rocket scientist.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:31.34,1:11:33.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or maybe...
Dialogue: 0,1:11:34.58,1:11:38.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you seen some of the things that\Nhappened recently to NASA, maybe you can.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:41.28,1:11:42.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The Mars lander..."
Dialogue: 0,1:11:44.55,1:11:47.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I did the calculations in feet,"
Dialogue: 0,1:11:47.62,1:11:50.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"but I programmed\Nthe lander in meters".
Dialogue: 0,1:11:54.13,1:11:57.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"So, instead of landing,\Nfucker burried"!
Dialogue: 0,1:11:57.93,1:12:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"185 million dollars... oopsy"!
Dialogue: 0,1:12:01.17,1:12:03.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Two years... splat"!
Dialogue: 0,1:12:03.44,1:12:06.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"OK, fuck!\NHere's a better one"!
Dialogue: 0,1:12:08.31,1:12:10.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The Hubble Telescope..."
Dialogue: 0,1:12:10.81,1:12:14.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I forgot to put in a lens".
Dialogue: 0,1:12:14.75,1:12:17.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Read the top line.\N"Officer Jerry, serial..."
Dialogue: 0,1:12:18.05,1:12:20.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The rest is just a black hole".
Dialogue: 0,1:12:21.06,1:12:24.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I once called Steven Hawking's house,\N"Hello, this is Steven Hawking".
Dialogue: 0,1:12:24.89,1:12:28.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yes, I'd like to leave a message.\N- No, this is Steven Hawking.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:30.53,1:12:31.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know one thing though.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:32.43,1:12:36.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pot is not like alcohol.\NAlcohol changes your moods.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:36.37,1:12:40.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go to a bar at happy hour and see\Nsome happy motherfuckers there.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:41.38,1:12:44.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See those guys going,\N"Hey, fuck you, my man"!
Dialogue: 0,1:12:45.91,1:12:47.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hey, listen to me".
Dialogue: 0,1:12:49.12,1:12:52.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Listen to me, you piece of shit".
Dialogue: 0,1:12:53.05,1:12:57.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You do not know shit\Nabout fuck, my man".
Dialogue: 0,1:13:00.90,1:13:03.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You want a piece of yourself"?
Dialogue: 0,1:13:04.26,1:13:07.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Step outside, I'll kick my ass".
Dialogue: 0,1:13:07.64,1:13:09.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I've already shit myself,\NI'm halfway there".
Dialogue: 0,1:13:13.31,1:13:16.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some people know,\Nyou can deal with it geneticaly.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:16.64,1:13:18.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're Irish, you've\Ngot a running start
Dialogue: 0,1:13:18.44,1:13:19.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you can do it\Nbetter than we are.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:20.65,1:13:25.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're Irish, you'll kick my ass\Nbut then you'll sing about it, afterwards.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:26.29,1:13:28.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, the night you\Nsaid my wife was fat,"
Dialogue: 0,1:13:28.59,1:13:30.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I knocked you down\Nand shit in your hat".
Dialogue: 0,1:13:35.10,1:13:39.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then you keep drinking 'til you're\Nin your 80s and you're on a dialysis machine,
Dialogue: 0,1:13:39.07,1:13:42.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doing liver dancing\NMichael Flatline.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:43.47,1:13:45.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they say the Irish\Nsaved civilization,
Dialogue: 0,1:13:45.77,1:13:47.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,drank a couple of Guiness
Dialogue: 0,1:13:47.24,1:13:49.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and forgot where they fucking put it.\NBut that's all right!
Dialogue: 0,1:13:49.84,1:13:54.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Japanese drink\Ndifferently than us.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:55.62,1:13:57.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You could be polite during the day
Dialogue: 0,1:13:57.78,1:14:00.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all of a sudden you're\N"Arigato gozaimas".
Dialogue: 0,1:14:00.39,1:14:05.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And after five Jack Daniels...\N"Tie the yellow ribbon"!
Dialogue: 0,1:14:08.70,1:14:12.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Karaoke for\N"asshole with a microphone".
Dialogue: 0,1:14:12.57,1:14:15.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Sing, you round eyed fuck, come on"!
Dialogue: 0,1:14:16.57,1:14:22.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And If you want a linguistic adventure,\Ngo drinkin' with a Scotsman.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:22.21,1:14:25.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cause you can't fucking\Nunderstand them before...
Dialogue: 0,1:14:26.28,1:14:27.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You land in Scotland\Nand they're going
Dialogue: 0,1:14:30.75,1:14:33.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh, yeah.\N- Oh, yeah?
Dialogue: 0,1:14:38.89,1:14:41.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Sure.\N- Oh, fuck sure, eh?
Dialogue: 0,1:14:46.47,1:14:50.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Sure!\N- Oh sure, you dumb fucking bastard.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:53.04,1:14:57.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you realize how drunk they get,\Nthey could wear a skirt and not care!
Dialogue: 0,1:14:57.81,1:15:00.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And how they could invent\Na sport like golf.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:01.72,1:15:04.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's my idea for a fucking sport.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:05.05,1:15:07.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I knock a ball in a gopher hole.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:08.72,1:15:11.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh, you mean like pool?\N- Fuck off pool!
Dialogue: 0,1:15:11.52,1:15:14.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not with a straight stick,\Nwith a little fucked up stick!
Dialogue: 0,1:15:15.70,1:15:18.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I whack the ball, it goes\Nin a gopher hole.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:19.27,1:15:22.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh, you mean like croquet?\N- Fuck croquet!
Dialogue: 0,1:15:23.20,1:15:26.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I put the hole hundreds\Nof yards away!
Dialogue: 0,1:15:27.61,1:15:31.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, fuck yeah!\NThere's big fun there!
Dialogue: 0,1:15:34.82,1:15:37.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh, like a bowling thing?\N- Fuck no!
Dialogue: 0,1:15:37.92,1:15:40.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not straight,\NI put shit in the way!
Dialogue: 0,1:15:41.06,1:15:44.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like trees and bushes and high grass.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:44.39,1:15:46.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you can lose you fucking ball.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:46.59,1:15:49.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And go hacking away\Nwith a fucking tire iron!
Dialogue: 0,1:15:49.73,1:15:53.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whacking away, and each time you miss\Nyou feel like you're gonna have a stroke!
Dialogue: 0,1:15:54.40,1:15:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fuck that's what we'll\Ncall it, a stroke,
Dialogue: 0,1:15:57.17,1:16:00.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cause each time you miss you\Nfeel like you're gonna fucking die!
Dialogue: 0,1:16:01.51,1:16:04.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh great, oh and here's the\Nbetter part. Fuck, this is brilliant!
Dialogue: 0,1:16:05.14,1:16:07.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right near the end,\NI'll put a little flat piece
Dialogue: 0,1:16:08.08,1:16:10.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a little flag to\Ngive you fucking hope.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:11.58,1:16:14.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But then I'll put a\Npool and a sandbox,
Dialogue: 0,1:16:15.12,1:16:17.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to fuck with your ball again!
Dialogue: 0,1:16:17.56,1:16:22.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You'll be there trashing your ass,\Njerking away in the sand.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:22.66,1:16:26.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- And you do this one time?\N- Fuck no!
Dialogue: 0,1:16:26.80,1:16:31.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eighteen fucking times!
Dialogue: 0,1:16:40.01,1:16:42.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There you have a sport!
Dialogue: 0,1:16:43.08,1:16:44.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The manly sport of golf,
Dialogue: 0,1:16:44.48,1:16:47.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where you can dress like a\Npimp and no one will care.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:47.49,1:16:52.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where even a blind gay man would go,\N"Oh, dear Christ"!
Dialogue: 0,1:16:53.29,1:16:56.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Those are loud, this is not carnival!\NWhat the fuck are you on"?
Dialogue: 0,1:16:57.46,1:17:00.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even the aligator's going,\N"Asshole"!
Dialogue: 0,1:17:02.04,1:17:06.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's such an athletic sport,\Nwhack the ball, get in the car.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:07.78,1:17:10.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whack the ball,\Nget in the car.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:10.61,1:17:12.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the commentary's electrifying.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:13.15,1:17:16.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just this side of Curling,\Nfor really getting me going.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:16.18,1:17:18.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We're on the third green now".
Dialogue: 0,1:17:20.15,1:17:23.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Could people be quieter,\NI'd like to hear the grass grow".
Dialogue: 0,1:17:25.12,1:17:28.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want the guy who does Mexican\Nsoccer to do golf one time.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:30.60,1:17:33.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The ball is rolling,\Nthe ball is going to the..."
Dialogue: 0,1:17:33.47,1:17:41.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hole"!
Dialogue: 0,1:17:44.48,1:17:46.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just to see all those\Nwaspy motherfuckers going,
Dialogue: 0,1:17:46.75,1:17:48.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, dear Christ"!
Dialogue: 0,1:17:49.45,1:17:53.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"My God, they're not gardening,\Nthey're playing now, oh, shit"!
Dialogue: 0,1:17:53.45,1:17:57.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What the hell are we gonna do"?\NThat was their last domain of dominance.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:57.36,1:17:59.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was their area.\NThey were the king.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:59.33,1:18:02.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Up until... Tiger!
Dialogue: 0,1:18:05.87,1:18:08.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Son of a black man\Nand a Thai woman.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:08.60,1:18:11.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not even a German geneticist\Ncould've thought than one up!
Dialogue: 0,1:18:12.51,1:18:16.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Black athletic ability,\NBuddhist concentration.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:20.41,1:18:22.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Crouching Potter.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:23.28,1:18:25.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then he goes\Nto the British Open,
Dialogue: 0,1:18:25.82,1:18:29.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he plays at Saint Andrews,\Nwhere they fucking invented the sport.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:29.89,1:18:32.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And after the forth round,\Nhe's 18 under par.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:32.63,1:18:35.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there's only 18 fucking holes.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:35.86,1:18:40.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And all the old men are going,\N"My God, we're doomed"!
Dialogue: 0,1:18:40.30,1:18:43.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"How did he learn to play?\NWe wouldn't let him join, dear God"!
Dialogue: 0,1:18:44.10,1:18:46.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they start having nightmares\Nof golf carts going...
Dialogue: 0,1:18:50.68,1:18:52.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yo, yo, yo, I'm playing through,"
Dialogue: 0,1:18:52.81,1:18:54.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Whether you're a gentile or a Jew."
Dialogue: 0,1:18:54.92,1:18:58.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Purple beats, motherfucker"!
Dialogue: 0,1:19:05.16,1:19:09.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All of your gentle sports are no longer\Ngentle. Tennis used to be...
Dialogue: 0,1:19:12.53,1:19:13.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Until the Williams sisters...
Dialogue: 0,1:19:20.04,1:19:23.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- 40, love?\N- No, that's good love, baby!
Dialogue: 0,1:19:25.28,1:19:27.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even boxing's changed.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:27.48,1:19:31.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Remember boxing, people go, "I go\Nto boxing to watch the sport of boxing".
Dialogue: 0,1:19:31.08,1:19:33.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like saying,\N"I go to stock car races"
Dialogue: 0,1:19:33.29,1:19:36.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"to see people take\Nleft turns all day".
Dialogue: 0,1:19:36.42,1:19:40.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, you go to boxing to see\Nsomeone get the fuck beat out of him.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:40.56,1:19:44.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even the guy who loses is going,\N"I have 18 million dollars".
Dialogue: 0,1:19:44.60,1:19:46.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't know where it fucking is..."
Dialogue: 0,1:19:47.94,1:19:53.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm gonna buy me a big ass house,\Nbut I can't find it. Fuck off"!
Dialogue: 0,1:19:54.17,1:19:58.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Boxing was the same.\NAnd then Mike Tyson!
Dialogue: 0,1:19:59.05,1:20:01.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mike Tyson comes along\Nand bites somebody.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:02.48,1:20:05.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's get ready to nibble!
Dialogue: 0,1:20:06.05,1:20:08.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All these guys're going,\N"Oh, dear God, he bit somebody"!
Dialogue: 0,1:20:08.59,1:20:10.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm saying, "You're lucky\Nhe just bit somebody".
Dialogue: 0,1:20:10.39,1:20:13.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Mike just got out of prison.\NYou're lucky he didn't fuck him".
Dialogue: 0,1:20:14.96,1:20:18.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You bite somebody in jail its like,\N"Get ready bitch, you're mine now"!
Dialogue: 0,1:20:18.73,1:20:20.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Break it up!\N- We're not finished.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:20.57,1:20:23.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mike said to a journalist, "I'm gonna\Nfuck you, till you love me".
Dialogue: 0,1:20:23.57,1:20:26.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At that point I'm going, "Someone\Ndidn't come here to box, babe".
Dialogue: 0,1:20:27.58,1:20:31.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mike said, "I'm on Zoloft, so I\Ndon't kill you, motherfuckers"!
Dialogue: 0,1:20:32.05,1:20:34.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going,\N"Up the dosage, Mike"!
Dialogue: 0,1:20:35.98,1:20:39.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's all these drugs,\NZoloft, Prozac.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:39.19,1:20:41.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanna have one drug\Nencompassing it all.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:41.66,1:20:43.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Call it "Fuck It All".
Dialogue: 0,1:20:44.72,1:20:48.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't feel anything, I don't\Nwanna do anything, "Fuck It All".
Dialogue: 0,1:20:49.76,1:20:53.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The closest thing to a coma\Nyou'll ever be, "Fuck It All".
Dialogue: 0,1:20:53.60,1:20:56.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sitting here in my own dong,\N"Fuck It All".
Dialogue: 0,1:20:57.80,1:21:00.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The scary thing about drugs is that\Nthey have some horrible side effect.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:01.08,1:21:02.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"May cause artificial insemination".
Dialogue: 0,1:21:06.28,1:21:07.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What?\NWhat do you mean?
Dialogue: 0,1:21:08.52,1:21:11.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a product called Olestra,\Nwhich is a very strange thing.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:11.78,1:21:13.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Olestra? What is that?
Dialogue: 0,1:21:13.39,1:21:16.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It said on the little side of the chips,\N"May cause anal leakage".
Dialogue: 0,1:21:19.93,1:21:23.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's not a side effect\Nif my ass is going...
Dialogue: 0,1:21:24.60,1:21:27.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think that's an effect, really!
Dialogue: 0,1:21:28.47,1:21:32.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Fire in the hole"!\NBad day!
Dialogue: 0,1:21:33.47,1:21:37.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- How you're doing, Bob?\N- Just a little anal leakage, Ted.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:38.14,1:21:41.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bob, you wanna get out\Nof the pool right now?
Dialogue: 0,1:21:45.45,1:21:49.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want science to help me.\NGod, look at me! Look at this!
Dialogue: 0,1:21:50.02,1:21:52.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had women in NY saying\N"Don't wear fur"!
Dialogue: 0,1:21:54.13,1:21:58.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The politically correct... red paint\N"Fuck off, lady, it's me"!
Dialogue: 0,1:21:58.53,1:22:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a fucking Chia pet.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:01.60,1:22:04.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've gone to the zoo\Nand had monkeys go...
Dialogue: 0,1:22:11.31,1:22:13.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anybody who thinks the\Nzoo is a happy place,
Dialogue: 0,1:22:13.31,1:22:16.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,go and watch the monkeys wait\Nfor groups of school children.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:16.48,1:22:20.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Watch the fun.\NThe monkeys sit there, like...
Dialogue: 0,1:22:20.65,1:22:22.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Wait for it".
Dialogue: 0,1:22:24.69,1:22:27.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Wait 'til the teacher comes\Nwith the video camera".
Dialogue: 0,1:22:29.16,1:22:29.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Now"!
Dialogue: 0,1:22:40.67,1:22:42.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cause they're not happy.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:42.54,1:22:45.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even the poor animals\Nlike Ling Ling the panda,
Dialogue: 0,1:22:45.28,1:22:47.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she must mate, so you can\Nbuild the wing on the zoo.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:47.95,1:22:50.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They go to China,\Nthey anesthesize a panda,
Dialogue: 0,1:22:50.55,1:22:51.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is kinda redundant...
Dialogue: 0,1:22:53.45,1:22:56.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They bring him back to America\Nand give him a name like Ping Pong.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:57.39,1:22:59.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When his Chinese name was\NWho Shu Ko Hu,
Dialogue: 0,1:23:00.03,1:23:01.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Bear with Balls of Steel".
Dialogue: 0,1:23:02.60,1:23:05.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They put him in the cage with\NLing Ling, saying "Go, mate"!
Dialogue: 0,1:23:05.57,1:23:09.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He looks at her like,\N"I would never fuck her"!
Dialogue: 0,1:23:11.70,1:23:15.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That is one ugly panda bitch".
Dialogue: 0,1:23:15.74,1:23:19.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"If you were a panda, you'd know that's\Nthe fucking ugliest panda bitch there is".
Dialogue: 0,1:23:20.61,1:23:23.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I wouldn't have fucked her\Nwith a koala's dick"!
Dialogue: 0,1:23:24.78,1:23:26.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Fuck off"!
Dialogue: 0,1:23:26.65,1:23:30.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I would rather lick my own balls,\Nthan fuck that panda bitch"!
Dialogue: 0,1:23:32.53,1:23:35.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's only one animal\Nwho can tell you
Dialogue: 0,1:23:35.96,1:23:37.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if she's happy\Nand wants to mate.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:38.13,1:23:40.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is Coco,\Nthe silverback gorilla.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:40.53,1:23:43.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She saw me,\Nthe blue eyed simian.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:44.24,1:23:45.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She was intrigued.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:46.24,1:23:48.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She said to her trainer...
Dialogue: 0,1:23:48.61,1:23:50.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What does that mean?\N- She wants you to tickle her.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:50.84,1:23:51.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,OK, I tickle her...
Dialogue: 0,1:23:53.35,1:23:55.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then she goes...
Dialogue: 0,1:23:55.55,1:23:58.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What does that mean?\N- She wants you to lift your shirt.
Dialogue: 0,1:23:59.65,1:24:04.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I lift my shirt, she reaches out\Nand grabs both my nipples.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:04.96,1:24:08.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when an 800 pound\Ngorilla's got you by the tits...
Dialogue: 0,1:24:08.70,1:24:10.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you listen!
Dialogue: 0,1:24:10.86,1:24:14.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then my balls went,\N"Somebody wants to play".
Dialogue: 0,1:24:15.74,1:24:18.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Should we go to phase two?\N- No! Do not go to phase two!
Dialogue: 0,1:24:21.11,1:24:25.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I repeat!\NDo not go to lift off"!
Dialogue: 0,1:24:25.75,1:24:28.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"This may feel like a human, but\Nnotice the placement of the tumbs".
Dialogue: 0,1:24:28.78,1:24:30.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"This is not a human"!
Dialogue: 0,1:24:31.18,1:24:32.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Do not go to phase two"!
Dialogue: 0,1:24:33.32,1:24:35.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Warning! Warning"!
Dialogue: 0,1:24:35.66,1:24:38.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She must've sense something,\Ncause she grabes me by the hand,
Dialogue: 0,1:24:38.16,1:24:40.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,takes me in the back.\NDaktari meets Deliverance.
Dialogue: 0,1:24:41.10,1:24:44.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm expecting the crocodile\Nhunter to walk out and go,
Dialogue: 0,1:24:44.56,1:24:49.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, cranky! She wants\Nto fuck his brains out"!
Dialogue: 0,1:24:50.37,1:24:54.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Watch out, boys and girls.\NDanger! Danger! Danger"!
Dialogue: 0,1:24:54.81,1:25:00.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"This could be like that time I\Nput my finger in a crock's cloette".
Dialogue: 0,1:25:01.22,1:25:04.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But part of me went,\N"Could be fun"!
Dialogue: 0,1:25:06.79,1:25:09.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Make a great story for a bar.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:09.82,1:25:12.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A guy's going "I had\Na wild night in Vegas".
Dialogue: 0,1:25:12.93,1:25:15.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yeah? Well I banged a gorilla".
Dialogue: 0,1:25:17.66,1:25:18.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Where's everybody going"?
Dialogue: 0,1:25:21.80,1:25:26.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you don't want that\Nlate night phone call, "Hello"?
Dialogue: 0,1:25:28.04,1:25:30.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't call me"!
Dialogue: 0,1:25:32.11,1:25:34.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe it's because I'm 50.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:34.22,1:25:37.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you hit 50, the old machinery\Ndoesn't work so well.
Dialogue: 0,1:25:37.45,1:25:41.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You be at a public rest room going,\N"How're you doing? Great game today, huh"?
Dialogue: 0,1:26:05.45,1:26:08.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, boy"!
Dialogue: 0,1:26:08.38,1:26:12.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's happened is your prostate\Nis bigger than your ego now.
Dialogue: 0,1:26:13.25,1:26:17.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you're in your 40s, you go to\Nthe doctor they have to do the old...
Dialogue: 0,1:26:18.29,1:26:19.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First time is "Oh, my God"!
Dialogue: 0,1:26:19.56,1:26:21.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm just putting on the\Nglove, Mr. Williams".
Dialogue: 0,1:26:22.46,1:26:24.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went back the second time and\NI moaned another doctor's name.
Dialogue: 0,1:26:25.06,1:26:26.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't do that!
Dialogue: 0,1:26:28.64,1:26:32.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Who's Dr. Smith?\N- You're the only one!
Dialogue: 0,1:26:32.97,1:26:35.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When a woman has to\Ngo to the gynecologist,
Dialogue: 0,1:26:35.21,1:26:37.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you don't want a doctor\Nwho has a hobby.
Dialogue: 0,1:26:37.94,1:26:40.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't want a gynecologist\Nwho's also a magician.
Dialogue: 0,1:26:41.75,1:26:45.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't want somebody going,\N"How are we today... Oh, a dove"!
Dialogue: 0,1:26:46.95,1:26:48.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Wow, what's this"?!
Dialogue: 0,1:26:52.23,1:26:54.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Is this your card"?
Dialogue: 0,1:26:54.66,1:26:59.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't want a doctor who's a\Nproctologist and ventriloquist. No!
Dialogue: 0,1:27:00.47,1:27:01.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"How you're doing today"?
Dialogue: 0,1:27:01.90,1:27:04.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Take your hand out of my ass.\NI'm not a muppet. Move it"!
Dialogue: 0,1:27:05.87,1:27:11.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In your 50s it's no longer the...\NIt's the ortho-proctoscope.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:11.54,1:27:13.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The colonoscopy.\NThat's what W. did.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:13.85,1:27:16.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a video camera\Non the end of a rodeo rudder.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:17.78,1:27:20.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's going up you!
Dialogue: 0,1:27:20.55,1:27:23.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Suddenly, you're your own\NDiscovery channel special.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:24.32,1:27:27.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Slowly, we're going up\NRobin's colon".
Dialogue: 0,1:27:28.20,1:27:30.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"This must be what you see".
Dialogue: 0,1:27:30.33,1:27:35.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Slowly up ahead,\Na burger he had in '85".
Dialogue: 0,1:27:35.40,1:27:39.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Is that a polyp?\N- That's a fart, Mr. Williams.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:39.84,1:27:41.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They go further up your ass,\Nthey blow air.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:42.71,1:27:45.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you're a fucking party favour.
Dialogue: 0,1:27:47.62,1:27:52.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, doctor, give me all you can take!\NI'm a man. Give me 120 psi!
Dialogue: 0,1:27:53.92,1:27:55.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You feel like a Pinata,\Nyou think little Mexican kids
Dialogue: 0,1:27:55.56,1:27:58.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are gonna come out and go,\N"Get the presents"!
Dialogue: 0,1:27:58.89,1:28:02.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The air is coming this way.\NThe farts are going, "Incoming"!
Dialogue: 0,1:28:03.46,1:28:06.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It's not a... No finger!\NIt's the midget!
Dialogue: 0,1:28:06.47,1:28:09.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Fall back behind the shit,\Nwait for my command"!
Dialogue: 0,1:28:10.50,1:28:13.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Prepare to make\Nthe wet sloppy noise"!
Dialogue: 0,1:28:13.20,1:28:18.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because the moment they pull that\Ntube out of your ass, you are an evinrude!
Dialogue: 0,1:28:22.78,1:28:27.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Rolling, rolling, rolling\NKeep that colon flowing"!
Dialogue: 0,1:28:29.82,1:28:32.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fourty miles, blowing outta you!
Dialogue: 0,1:28:36.06,1:28:40.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You put on your pants and you're floating\Nlike a balloon spinning on the America's Cup.
Dialogue: 0,1:28:41.17,1:28:43.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Coming about, Jimmy.\NShe's your"!
Dialogue: 0,1:28:44.70,1:28:47.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then you realize...\N"Oh, shit, fire in the hole"!
Dialogue: 0,1:28:48.41,1:28:51.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Tighten up boys, we're not\Ngonna drop here"!
Dialogue: 0,1:28:51.71,1:28:53.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Thank you, doctor.\NSee you next week".
Dialogue: 0,1:28:57.78,1:28:59.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hold the elevator"!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:00.35,1:29:02.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Fuck you, you bastard"!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:07.90,1:29:09.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Seven flights of stairs.
Dialogue: 0,1:29:10.36,1:29:13.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everybody you pass,\Nyou're going "It's me"!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:13.87,1:29:16.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dogs look at you like\N"Roll over, man, you're dead"!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:17.47,1:29:20.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You just wanna borrow a match.\N"Give me that"!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:21.18,1:29:22.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Flaming asshole.
Dialogue: 0,1:29:23.14,1:29:27.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what you are. You're\Na flaming asshole! You're 50!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:28.88,1:29:31.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And can they make a drug\Nto help you through all of that,
Dialogue: 0,1:29:31.45,1:29:33.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to keep all of your organs intact\N'til your golden years? No!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:35.09,1:29:36.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can they make a drug to give you
Dialogue: 0,1:29:36.86,1:29:39.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mental clarity to your\Ngolden time? No!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:40.59,1:29:44.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They've got a drug to make you\Nharder than Chinese algebra!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:45.80,1:29:48.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Grandpa can have wood again.
Dialogue: 0,1:29:52.17,1:29:54.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I don't need the walker!\N- I see that!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:55.48,1:29:56.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And your grandmother's going
Dialogue: 0,1:29:56.74,1:29:59.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Shit! I thought the war was over"!
Dialogue: 0,1:29:59.91,1:30:03.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Get me a tetanus shot, if you gonna\Nstick me with that rusty thing"!
Dialogue: 0,1:30:10.56,1:30:14.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People have died on Viagra.\NThey have to have the open coffin...
Dialogue: 0,1:30:15.86,1:30:19.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, dear God, I don't\Nremember Pete being like that".
Dialogue: 0,1:30:20.27,1:30:22.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Kids, go get some horse shoes".
Dialogue: 0,1:30:23.57,1:30:25.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"He would've wanted it that way".
Dialogue: 0,1:30:26.11,1:30:30.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You used to get that from some\Nstrange Chinese aphrodisiac.
Dialogue: 0,1:30:30.71,1:30:33.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like humming bird\Neyelash and rhino horn.
Dialogue: 0,1:30:34.08,1:30:36.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To give you great masculinity.
Dialogue: 0,1:30:36.68,1:30:42.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But now you're on Viagra.\NYou are back! You are Frankencock!
Dialogue: 0,1:30:42.39,1:30:45.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are "the Inseminator"!
Dialogue: 0,1:30:45.53,1:30:47.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are ready to go!
Dialogue: 0,1:30:47.56,1:30:52.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're gonna be going for one\Nhour, one hour and a half!
Dialogue: 0,1:30:53.33,1:30:56.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Guys are going "Yeah"!\NWomen are going "Uh-uh".
Dialogue: 0,1:30:57.90,1:31:00.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cause after the first hour,\Nyour wife's going
Dialogue: 0,1:31:01.01,1:31:05.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yay, oh, big daddy..."
Dialogue: 0,1:31:06.78,1:31:08.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Listen, I got shit to do, OK"?
Dialogue: 0,1:31:14.46,1:31:15.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hello"?
Dialogue: 0,1:31:16.99,1:31:20.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yeah, I'll be late today.\NViagra, fucking..."
Dialogue: 0,1:31:22.23,1:31:26.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'll try and get there.\NGo outside with that thing"!
Dialogue: 0,1:31:27.47,1:31:28.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't go outside with a hard-on
Dialogue: 0,1:31:28.77,1:31:31.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cause the cat just\Nwaits for you to go...
Dialogue: 0,1:31:32.47,1:31:34.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And your dog is going,\N"Wow, you too"?!
Dialogue: 0,1:31:35.08,1:31:36.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can't go to work like
Dialogue: 0,1:31:36.11,1:31:38.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Hey, Bob!\N- How're you, Pete?
Dialogue: 0,1:31:38.71,1:31:40.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm happy to be here today"!
Dialogue: 0,1:31:41.28,1:31:43.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Direct traffic,\Nno, you can't do shit!
Dialogue: 0,1:31:43.95,1:31:45.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to make it\Ngo away. You slap it.
Dialogue: 0,1:31:45.62,1:31:48.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like one of those\Npunch-me clowns.
Dialogue: 0,1:31:50.62,1:31:54.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm not going anywhere"!
Dialogue: 0,1:31:54.40,1:31:57.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to finish it off.
Dialogue: 0,1:31:57.60,1:31:59.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the old days was...
Dialogue: 0,1:32:00.60,1:32:02.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, after an hour and a half,
Dialogue: 0,1:32:02.80,1:32:04.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you've got more semen\Nthan the Fifth Fleet.
Dialogue: 0,1:32:05.00,1:32:08.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, when you go, it's like...
Dialogue: 0,1:32:08.98,1:32:10.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, my eyes!
Dialogue: 0,1:32:10.18,1:32:13.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And your wife goes, "Now you\Nknow how it feels, asshole"!
Dialogue: 0,1:32:16.95,1:32:19.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Aim for the tits, Hawk Eye"!
Dialogue: 0,1:32:20.05,1:32:22.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm like a Lawn Boy!\NGet out"!
Dialogue: 0,1:32:22.99,1:32:24.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Save yourselves"!
Dialogue: 0,1:32:24.49,1:32:27.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Not the drapes!\N- Too late... I own them now.
Dialogue: 0,1:32:32.60,1:32:34.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You run out of semen and\Nyour testicles are going
Dialogue: 0,1:32:34.74,1:32:36.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We still got an erection, chief"!
Dialogue: 0,1:32:37.44,1:32:40.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Give me blood, give me urine,\Nany fluid"!
Dialogue: 0,1:32:44.21,1:32:48.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, God, please make\Nthis fucking shit go away"!
Dialogue: 0,1:32:50.68,1:32:53.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You do every goofy,\Nfucking orgasmic thing...
Dialogue: 0,1:33:13.51,1:33:15.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't touch it"!
Dialogue: 0,1:33:21.92,1:33:24.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't look at it"!
Dialogue: 0,1:33:25.12,1:33:27.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't even think about it"!
Dialogue: 0,1:33:28.42,1:33:31.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then you realize that God,
Dialogue: 0,1:33:31.66,1:33:34.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,gave you a penis and a brain.
Dialogue: 0,1:33:34.26,1:33:38.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And only enough blood\Nto run one at a time.
Dialogue: 0,1:33:43.64,1:33:46.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have lost thoughts\Nfrom your childhood.
Dialogue: 0,1:33:50.04,1:33:52.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then you hear these\Nwords from your lady...
Dialogue: 0,1:33:52.38,1:33:54.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"My turn"!
Dialogue: 0,1:33:57.58,1:34:00.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You can't fucking be serious"!
Dialogue: 0,1:34:02.22,1:34:04.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Look at me, I'm Goo Boy!\NWhat are you doing"?
Dialogue: 0,1:34:06.63,1:34:08.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That's right, Corky!\NIt's time to saddle up".
Dialogue: 0,1:34:09.03,1:34:10.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We're heading South of the border".
Dialogue: 0,1:34:11.73,1:34:13.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You gotta please Missy".
Dialogue: 0,1:34:14.44,1:34:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have one question for the ladies...
Dialogue: 0,1:34:16.80,1:34:18.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do we look like this?
Dialogue: 0,1:35:12.79,1:35:14.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Are you almost there"?
Dialogue: 0,1:35:15.63,1:35:18.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"No, no, no.\NI will finish"!
Dialogue: 0,1:35:19.13,1:35:21.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I love you"!
Dialogue: 0,1:35:22.44,1:35:26.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I love you!\NI will finish".
Dialogue: 0,1:35:27.37,1:35:32.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I can take it.\NI just can't feel my tongue".
Dialogue: 0,1:35:33.15,1:35:34.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Who's your daddy"?
Dialogue: 0,1:35:35.72,1:35:38.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I love you"!
Dialogue: 0,1:35:38.55,1:35:40.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I will finish".
Dialogue: 0,1:35:53.67,1:35:55.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Good night!
Dialogue: 0,1:36:31.07,1:36:33.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you!
Dialogue: 0,1:36:38.34,1:36:39.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you!
Dialogue: 0,1:36:41.02,1:36:41.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This night for New York!
Dialogue: 0,1:36:44.62,1:36:47.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are we gonna do tonight, Marty?
Dialogue: 0,1:36:48.06,1:36:49.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Good night!
Dialogue: 0,1:36:54.06,1:36:55.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're the best!
Dialogue: 0,1:36:57.96,1:36:59.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We did it!
Dialogue: 0,1:37:05.84,1:37:07.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My pink lady...