coming up on dystopia daily...
dan: hello?
dodie: oh my god
dan: hell yeah
dan: [singing] i have anxiety~
dodie: [singing] bisexual lighting~
[keyboard moans] both laughing
dan: there we go! [laugh]
hi, i'm dan and welcome back to the thing
that I'm doing called dystopia daily
funky music
no— STOP STOP STOP IT
look it's shit, it's shit, i know it is!
i didn't have the budget for a composer, okay?
i spent it all on a realistic camp skeleton.
who are you making fun of, huh?
i paid for you. don't give me that attitude.
erm, yeah, so we didn't have a music department.
i had to get this shit early 2000s yamaha off of ebay
that was probably stolen from the dead—
the dead hands?
why'd it have to be the dead hands
of a child at a secondary school?
i don't know. i pried it out of the dead hands of a child.
a show without a strong theme tune
is nothing.
game of thrones? pokemon?
who wants to be a millionaire?
arthur the other-fucking-aardvark? i mean hey,
hey, what a wonderful kind of— (arthur theme song)
fuck, see, that's exactly what i'm talking about.
do we know anyone that can play an instrument?
logan paul can play the fucking guitar.
...okay, jesus—
you just ruined the concept of string instruments for me—
okay, never mind. erm— god no
we need someone that understands emotional pain,
how freaking weird the internet is,
and actually has just some level of talent, okay?
if you say logan paul again, i swear to god, sophie—
[phone dialing] hello?
uhh, yeah. yup.
no, strictly– strictly promotional for the EP.
yeah, no, nothing weird.
nothing about the show is weird.
yeah, it's tv. bbc.
four— three, three. yes.
absolutely. yup. sounds good.
glad you agreed. cool. thank you.
finally, we have tricked an actual guest into coming.
[laughter] fucking GOT 'em.
please welcome, dodie!
[happy music]
hey!
do i go in?
...bbc?
hello.
should i just sit here?
[clears throat]
dh: hello! dd: hello!
dh: how are you?! dd: i'm great, how are you?
dh: you've brought instruments!
dd: i did, yeah! one for me and one for you, if you want.
d—do you want?
dh: what is it?
dd: erm, i have a ukulele— dh: i fuckin' hate ukeleles,
dh: charlieissocoollike shit, honestly—erm, dd: [hurt gasp]
dh: how are you today?
dd: uhh, yeah! i'm good!
dh: that is the kind of good that i say to people
dh: when i'm NOT good! dd: [laugh]
dh: and that means that you're an artist.
dd: yeah, you're right. dh: and that's why we're here.
dd: mhm. will you take this? thank you. okay.
dh: is the end of life death... or the moment that
nobody remembers us?
dd: uhm.. uh.
dd: i don't know how to answer that.
dd: pro– probably the end of life, i think.
dh: you don't think that your songs
will keep you living forever in the hearts of people?
dd: i just think when i die, i'm–
i'm gone, you know?
dh: as long as you keep singing, dodie will NEVER die.
dh: i'm being a terrible host.
dh: i appreciate you being here. would you like a beverage?
dd: i would love one, thank you, what have you got?
dh: [grunt] i've got cucumber water. [thud]
dd: oh– my god, okay.
dh: i heard that you are a pickle fan, is that correct?
dd: i am! yeah! thanks for doing your research.
dh: we've left this in here, for like, two weeks now,
so i guess it's a pickle, technically.
dd: wow, that's so kind, thank you.
dd: i'll just move this forward, shall i?
dd: is that– is that okay? dh: fine.
dd: okay. yup.
dd: thank you, thank you. dh: yup.
dh: cheers– wait! dd: i'm just sniffin'.
dd: thank you. cheers. dh: there we go.
[slurp]
dh: erm, so. you are a person that makes things– dd: mhm.
dh: what you you like to promote here today?
dd: erm, well, i have a new ep? dh: you have a new ep?
dd: i do. dh: what's it called?
[exclamatory music] dd: it's called "hot mess", but
dd: that sort of pales in comparison to today.
[silence]
dh: [stammers] ...joke. dd: yeah.
dh: [laugh] okay! dd: thank you! thank you.
dd: i had one, y'know. dh: oh! i like it.
dh: finally, someone who gets why they're here. dd: [clears throat]
dh: phil didn't, did he. okay.
dh: i honestly wish that i was a musician sometimes.