WEBVTT
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coming up on dystopia daily...
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dan: hello?
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dodie: oh my god
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dan: hell yeah
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dan: [singing]
i have anxiety~
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dodie: [singing]
bisexual lighting~
NOTE Paragraph
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[keyboard moans]
both laughing
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dan: there we go!
[laugh]
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hi, i'm dan and welcome back to the thing
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that I'm doing called dystopia daily
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funky music
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no— STOP STOP STOP IT
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look it's shit, it's shit, i know it is!
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i didn't have the budget
for a composer, okay?
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i spent it all on a
realistic camp skeleton.
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who are you making fun of, huh?
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i paid for you.
don't give me that attitude.
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erm, yeah, so we didn't
have a music department.
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i had to get this shit early 2000s
yamaha off of ebay
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that was probably stolen from the dead—
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the dead hands?
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why'd it have to be the dead hands
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of a child at a secondary school?
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i don't know.
i pried it out of the dead hands of a child.
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a show without a strong theme tune
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is nothing.
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game of thrones? pokemon?
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who wants to be a millionaire?
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arthur the other-fucking-aardvark?
i mean hey,
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hey, what a wonderful kind of—
(arthur theme song)
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fuck, see, that's exactly what
i'm talking about.
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do we know anyone that can play an instrument?
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logan paul can play the fucking guitar.
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...okay, jesus—
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you just ruined the concept of string instruments for me—
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okay, never mind.
erm— god no
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we need someone that understands emotional pain,
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how freaking weird the internet is,
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and actually has just some level of talent, okay?
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if you say logan paul again,
i swear to god, sophie—
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[phone dialing]
hello?
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uhh, yeah. yup.
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no, strictly– strictly promotional for the EP.
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yeah, no, nothing weird.
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nothing about the show is weird.
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yeah, it's tv. bbc.
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four— three, three. yes.
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absolutely. yup. sounds good.
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glad you agreed. cool. thank you.
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finally, we have tricked an actual guest into coming.
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[laughter]
fucking GOT 'em.
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please welcome, dodie!
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[happy music]
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hey!
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do i go in?
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...bbc?
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hello.
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should i just sit here?
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[clears throat]
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dh: hello!
dd: hello!
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dh: how are you?!
dd: i'm great, how are you?
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dh: you've brought instruments!
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dd: i did, yeah!
one for me and one for you, if you want.
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d—do you want?
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dh: what is it?
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dd: erm, i have a ukulele—
dh: i fuckin' hate ukeleles,
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dh: charlieissocoollike shit, honestly—erm,
dd: [hurt gasp]
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dh: how are you today?
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dd: uhh, yeah! i'm good!
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dh: that is the kind of good
that i say to people
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dh: when i'm NOT good!
dd: [laugh]
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dh: and that means that
you're an artist.
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dd: yeah, you're right.
dh: and that's why we're here.
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dd: mhm. will you take this?
thank you. okay.
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dh: is the end of life death...
or the moment that
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nobody remembers us?
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dd: uhm.. uh.
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dd: i don't know how to answer that.
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dd: pro– probably the end
of life, i think.
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dh: you don't think that
your songs
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will keep you living forever
in the hearts of people?
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dd: i just think when i die, i'm–
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i'm gone, you know?
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dh: as long as you keep singing,
dodie will NEVER die.
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dh: i'm being a terrible host.
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dh: i appreciate you being here.
would you like a beverage?
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dd: i would love one, thank you,
what have you got?
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dh: [grunt] i've got cucumber water.
[thud]
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dd: oh– my god, okay.
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dh: i heard that you are
a pickle fan, is that correct?
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dd: i am! yeah!
thanks for doing your research.
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dh: we've left this in here,
for like, two weeks now,
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so i guess it's a pickle, technically.
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dd: wow, that's so kind, thank you.
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dd: i'll just move this forward,
shall i?
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dd: is that– is that okay?
dh: fine.
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dd: okay. yup.
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dd: thank you, thank you.
dh: yup.
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dh: cheers– wait!
dd: i'm just sniffin'.
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dd: thank you. cheers.
dh: there we go.
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[slurp]
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dh: erm, so. you are a person that makes things–
dd: mhm.
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dh: what you you like to promote here today?
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dd: erm, well, i have a new ep?
dh: you have a new ep?
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dd: i do.
dh: what's it called?
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[exclamatory music]
dd: it's called "hot mess", but
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dd: that sort of pales
in comparison to today.
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[silence]
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dh: [stammers] ...joke.
dd: yeah.
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dh: [laugh] okay!
dd: thank you! thank you.
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dd: i had one, y'know.
dh: oh! i like it.
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dh: finally, someone who gets why they're here.
dd: [clears throat]
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dh: phil didn't, did he. okay.
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dh: i honestly wish that i was
a musician sometimes.