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Soyuzmultfilm

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Winter in Prostokvashino

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Well, well...

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Yeah!

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Oh what a mess...

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Yeah!

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It's the end of the 20th century.

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Yeah!

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And we only have one pair of boots for the two of us!

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It's like the Dark Ages!

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Yeah!

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So why did it turn out this way?

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Do you not have the meanses - I mean,[br]do you not have enough money?

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We have means.

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We don't have enough brains.

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I told this hunter of ours - buy yourself some boots.

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And what'd he do?

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What?

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He went and bought sneakers.

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He said they're prettier.

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Well, he did it without thinking.

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In the winter, what's our village folk costume like?

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Felt boots, padded pants, overcoat, and hat - a fur one.

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Not even college students wear sneakers here in the winter.

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He's an idiot. Idiot.

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Well, tell him so.

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Open up his eyes, make him see clearly.

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I can't. We haven't been talking to each other for two days now.

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Not two - three!

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That's no big deal. You can send a telegram, or a letter -

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that's what the mail is for.

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Whatever cannot be said, can be described in a letter.

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Do you want standard or conglaturatory stationery?

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Standard, standard, wouldn't want to spoil him.

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Heh, he doesn't want to spoil me - well, I don't need anything from you!

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I don't have any standard stationery, only congratulatory.

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Ugh, unplanned expenses again...

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Alright, give me the congraturatory kind.

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Sharik, you're an idiot.

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That's not right.

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Since the stationery is congratulatory, you have to first congratulate the recipient.

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Alright, alright. Congratulations, Sharik - you're an idiot.

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What should I write next?

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Typically people write about the weather.

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Weather... weather... the weather's nice here.

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You call that nice? The blizzard's been howling two days now.

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All the hunting's snowed in, ruined.

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You, comrade dog, be quiet.

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When you write your answer, you can describe your own weather.

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I'm not going to write him an answer!

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I'm gonna throw this stoker at him, so he stops calling me names!

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Why throw it, if you can mail it?

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Here, we'll wrap it up and hand it over to the cat.

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This is a parcel now.

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Someone sent you a stoker by parcel post.

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They wanted to hurl it at you.

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What?! For that, I'll hurl an iron at him!

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One moment, please...

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That's over a kilogram. Now this is a package.

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Here, now we'll deliver it.

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And if you roll a barrel at him [make ad hominem attacks]

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that's container transport.

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In rural areas, transportation agencies take care of that.

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I'm so tired of all of this.

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Our apartment reminds me of a TV show. It's called "What? Where? When?" [famous show in USSR]

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Why's that?

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Because there's no knowing what's strewn about where, and when it'll all be over.

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Calendar: December 31st

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And besides: your gasoline is killing all my flowers.

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It's not the gasoline. Plants die in houses where the entourage is too strict.

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Well in our house it's too lively.

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First you and Uncle Fedor play ping-pong, then chess,

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and now you've bought an old broken-down car - I don't know what else you could want.

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Uncle Fedor and I talked it over and decided...

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that we absolutely need to get another child somewhere.

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To alleviate the strictness and the grumpiness.

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Never.

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And for New Year's, we want to go to Prostokvashino.

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If that's what you want, you can go to Prostokvashino to your heart's content.

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I can't. I have to perform at the New Year's "Blue Flame".

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Well get on the last train and come join us.

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I mean, I love nature, but not so much as to ride trains in my concert gown.

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That's true. It's below freezing out in Prostokvashino!

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You'll have to put on your concert overcoat and concert felt boots.

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I wonder how my Sharik and Matroskin are doing out there.

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Ministry of Communications. Prostokvashino department. Talking letter.

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It's my first one getting one. I wonder what's inside...

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If's me, Pefkin the Mailman. I'f brought a mafazine, "Murfilka".

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Sharik and Matroskin have begun dividing property.

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STOP.

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Soon they'll start sawing the furnace in half

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COMMA

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and then the whole house

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STOP

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Pechkin the Mailman

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FULL STOP

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Oh, it's great that you've come

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I need to send Sharik an urgent telegram.

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Certainly. Fill out the form.

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Marker.

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Soon Uncle Fedor will be here stop

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Take my boots immediately and go cut down a tree in the forest

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Fourteen words... plus delivery.

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That'll be fifty kopeks.

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Mister Sharik. A telegram for you. Are you going to write an answer?

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No, I won't. I've got no money.

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Try searching your pockets.

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I don't have any pockets. I'll draw him an answer.

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So what is it, what kind of folk art is it?

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It's the Native American national folk house - a "figvam" [Russian: "don't even count on it"]

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See what it's come to? We found him, so to speak, at the dump, washed him, made him so clean...

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and now he's drawing us figvams.

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Maybe Uncle Fedor should've gotten a turtle instead - in a box.

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Oh yeah? I feel bad about cutting down trees.

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If everyone were to go cut down trees for New Year's, we'd have no forest, just stumps.

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And having stumps is only good for old women.

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Why's that?

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Why? You idiot! You can sit on them!

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What are the birds going to do? And the rabbits? Have you thought about them?

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He's thinking about the rabbits. Who's going to think about us? Admiral Ivan Fedorovich Kruzenshtern?

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Allow me to enquire, in order to increase my education level:

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who is Ivan Fedorovich Kruzenshtern?

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I don't know. But that was the name of the steamship my grandmother rode on

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He probably wasn't like you. He must've been a good person, if a steamship was named after him.

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And he wouldn't have cut trees!

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Unlike some people I know.

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See, it'll be the New Year soon.

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The clock is already tolling.

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I don't think that's a clock tolling... someone's kicking our door.

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Yeah? Come in!

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Hello! Guess who I am!

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Admiral. Ivan Fedorovich Kruzenshtern!

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The person - and the steamship!

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You've really...

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Who's there?

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It's me, Pechkin the Mailman, I've brought a magazine, "Murzilka".

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Happy New Year! Where's Uncle Fedor?

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He's in the car. We can't get through - the roads are all snowed over.

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Prostokvashino: 500 m

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So I've heard that sled dogs exist.

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But sled cats - that's going overboard.

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Well, have you ever seen a sled mailman?

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That's nothing - in winter our roads, and our weather are so bad

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we even have sled academics!

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I've seen it myself!

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Hey, stop! Stop!

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The car's out of the hole now. I can drive on my own.

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[singing] I keep noticing, more and more,

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that it's as though someone has replaced me.

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I don't dream of the seas anymore

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sign: Happy New Year!

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The TV has replaced nature for me.

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It's time to forget past events

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Starting tomorrow, starting tomorrow

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Neither neighbors, nor friends - no one - will be able to recognize me

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You have a really strange setting panel. All circles.

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That's not a panel they have there. It's just all covered in cobwebs.

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They have a panel like that on every pot and pan. Even on the furnace!

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Because they weren't talking to each other.

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We've already made up.

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We made up while pulling Uncle Fedor out of the snow together.

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Because joint labor - for my benefit - unifies.

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Matroskin!

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I'm glad it all ended well for you. Have a good New Year's Eve.

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What about you - won't you spend it with us?

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No no, don't even ask. In our day, what's the best thing to have on the table?

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Flowers.

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Bones.

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A TV. But yours only shows spiderwebs.

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I'll go home.

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Don't leave. We'll definitely fix the TV. After all, our mother's going to be in the "Blue Flame" tonight.

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Of course we'll fix it! And there's a wonderful tree out in the yard - alive and real!

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Let's decorate it.

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Yeah, let's! Except we don't have any ornaments! We have nothing to decorate with!

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What do you mean - nothing? We've got so many antiques up in the attic.

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Let's decorate the tree with them.

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May I have your attention? Please make your smartest faces.

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I'm starting a photo-hunt on you.

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So what're the news from Moscow?

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Dad and I have decided to obtain another child.

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Well, well... before, people would try to obtain fur coats, motorcycles...

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Now they've started looking to get children.

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Oh, how nice! In the TV, some guy with a big moustache gave your mom flowers!

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I would take that guy with his big ears and twist his ears off.

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Here, I'll show you the guy.

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There he is, the cunning villain - looks like a bureaucrat.

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He's no villain. He's Mom's manager.

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Oh, now Mom's going to sing!

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But it's all in vain. Your TV's sound doesn't work!

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Oh what a pity that we can't hear Mom!

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She spent half a year preparing for this performance.

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Wow, your mom's being broadcast both there and here.

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Technology's moving so quickly!

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Technology's not what's moving - I am. On skis!

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As for the concert, that was taped.

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Our mom's here!

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Haven't I said before: I just can't live without our Prostokvashino!

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[singing] If there weren't winter in the cities and villages,

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we wouldn't know these joyous days

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Children wouldn't circle around snowmen

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Ski tracks wouldn't trace their loops.

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If there weren't winter, if it were always summer,

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we wouldn't know this New Year's frenzy.

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Grandfather Frost wouldn't hurry to us over bumpy roads,

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The ice on the river wouldn't freeze.

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If there weren't winter in the cities and villages,

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we wouldn't know these joyous days!

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End of the film.