Soyuzmultfilm
Winter in Prostokvashino
Well, well...
Yeah!
Oh what a mess...
Yeah!
It's the end of the 20th century.
Yeah!
And we only have one pair of boots for the two of us!
It's like the Dark Ages!
Yeah!
So why did it turn out this way?
Do you not have the meanses - I mean, do you not have enough money?
We have means.
We don't have enough brains.
I told this hunter of ours - buy yourself some boots.
And what'd he do?
What?
He went and bought sneakers.
He said they're prettier.
Well, he did it without thinking.
In the winter, what's our village folk costume like?
Felt boots, padded pants, overcoat, and hat - a fur one.
Not even college students wear sneakers here in the winter.
He's an idiot. Idiot.
Well, tell him so.
Open up his eyes, make him see clearly.
I can't. We haven't been talking to each other for two days now.
Not two - three!
That's no big deal. You can send a telegram, or a letter -
that's what the mail is for.
Whatever cannot be said, can be described in a letter.
Do you want standard or conglaturatory stationery?
Standard, standard, wouldn't want to spoil him.
Heh, he doesn't want to spoil me - well, I don't need anything from you!
I don't have any standard stationery, only congratulatory.
Ugh, unplanned expenses again...
Alright, give me the congraturatory kind.
Sharik, you're an idiot.
That's not right.
Since the stationery is congratulatory, you have to first congratulate the recipient.
Alright, alright. Congratulations, Sharik - you're an idiot.
What should I write next?
Typically people write about the weather.
Weather... weather... the weather's nice here.
You call that nice? The blizzard's been howling two days now.
All the hunting's snowed in, ruined.
You, comrade dog, be quiet.
When you write your answer, you can describe your own weather.
I'm not going to write him an answer!
I'm gonna throw this stoker at him, so he stops calling me names!
Why throw it, if you can mail it?
Here, we'll wrap it up and hand it over to the cat.
This is a parcel now.
Someone sent you a stoker by parcel post.
They wanted to hurl it at you.
What?! For that, I'll hurl an iron at him!
One moment, please...
That's over a kilogram. Now this is a package.
Here, now we'll deliver it.
And if you roll a barrel at him [make ad hominem attacks]
that's container transport.
In rural areas, transportation agencies take care of that.
I'm so tired of all of this.
Our apartment reminds me of a TV show. It's called "What? Where? When?" [famous show in USSR]
Why's that?
Because there's no knowing what's strewn about where, and when it'll all be over.
Calendar: December 31st
And besides: your gasoline is killing all my flowers.
It's not the gasoline. Plants die in houses where the entourage is too strict.
Well in our house it's too lively.
First you and Uncle Fedor play ping-pong, then chess,
and now you've bought an old broken-down car - I don't know what else you could want.
Uncle Fedor and I talked it over and decided...
that we absolutely need to get another child somewhere.
To alleviate the strictness and the grumpiness.
Never.
And for New Year's, we want to go to Prostokvashino.
If that's what you want, you can go to Prostokvashino to your heart's content.
I can't. I have to perform at the New Year's "Blue Flame".
Well get on the last train and come join us.
I mean, I love nature, but not so much as to ride trains in my concert gown.
That's true. It's below freezing out in Prostokvashino!
You'll have to put on your concert overcoat and concert felt boots.
I wonder how my Sharik and Matroskin are doing out there.
Ministry of Communications. Prostokvashino department. Talking letter.
It's my first one getting one. I wonder what's inside...
If's me, Pefkin the Mailman. I'f brought a mafazine, "Murfilka".
Sharik and Matroskin have begun dividing property.
STOP.
Soon they'll start sawing the furnace in half
COMMA
and then the whole house
STOP
Pechkin the Mailman
FULL STOP
Oh, it's great that you've come
I need to send Sharik an urgent telegram.
Certainly. Fill out the form.
Marker.
Soon Uncle Fedor will be here stop
Take my boots immediately and go cut down a tree in the forest
Fourteen words... plus delivery.
That'll be fifty kopeks.
Mister Sharik. A telegram for you. Are you going to write an answer?
No, I won't. I've got no money.
Try searching your pockets.
I don't have any pockets. I'll draw him an answer.
So what is it, what kind of folk art is it?
It's the Native American national folk house - a "figvam" [Russian: "don't even count on it"]
See what it's come to? We found him, so to speak, at the dump, washed him, made him so clean...
and now he's drawing us figvams.
Maybe Uncle Fedor should've gotten a turtle instead - in a box.
Oh yeah? I feel bad about cutting down trees.
If everyone were to go cut down trees for New Year's, we'd have no forest, just stumps.
And having stumps is only good for old women.
Why's that?
Why? You idiot! You can sit on them!
What are the birds going to do? And the rabbits? Have you thought about them?
He's thinking about the rabbits. Who's going to think about us? Admiral Ivan Fedorovich Kruzenshtern?
Allow me to enquire, in order to increase my education level:
who is Ivan Fedorovich Kruzenshtern?
I don't know. But that was the name of the steamship my grandmother rode on
He probably wasn't like you. He must've been a good person, if a steamship was named after him.
And he wouldn't have cut trees!
Unlike some people I know.
See, it'll be the New Year soon.
The clock is already tolling.
I don't think that's a clock tolling... someone's kicking our door.
Yeah? Come in!
Hello! Guess who I am!
Admiral. Ivan Fedorovich Kruzenshtern!
The person - and the steamship!
You've really...
Who's there?
It's me, Pechkin the Mailman, I've brought a magazine, "Murzilka".
Happy New Year! Where's Uncle Fedor?
He's in the car. We can't get through - the roads are all snowed over.
Prostokvashino: 500 m
So I've heard that sled dogs exist.
But sled cats - that's going overboard.
Well, have you ever seen a sled mailman?
That's nothing - in winter our roads, and our weather are so bad
we even have sled academics!
I've seen it myself!
Hey, stop! Stop!
The car's out of the hole now. I can drive on my own.
[singing] I keep noticing, more and more,
that it's as though someone has replaced me.
I don't dream of the seas anymore
sign: Happy New Year!
The TV has replaced nature for me.
It's time to forget past events
Starting tomorrow, starting tomorrow
Neither neighbors, nor friends - no one - will be able to recognize me
You have a really strange setting panel. All circles.
That's not a panel they have there. It's just all covered in cobwebs.
They have a panel like that on every pot and pan. Even on the furnace!
Because they weren't talking to each other.
We've already made up.
We made up while pulling Uncle Fedor out of the snow together.
Because joint labor - for my benefit - unifies.
Matroskin!
I'm glad it all ended well for you. Have a good New Year's Eve.
What about you - won't you spend it with us?
No no, don't even ask. In our day, what's the best thing to have on the table?
Flowers.
Bones.
A TV. But yours only shows spiderwebs.
I'll go home.
Don't leave. We'll definitely fix the TV. After all, our mother's going to be in the "Blue Flame" tonight.
Of course we'll fix it! And there's a wonderful tree out in the yard - alive and real!
Let's decorate it.
Yeah, let's! Except we don't have any ornaments! We have nothing to decorate with!
What do you mean - nothing? We've got so many antiques up in the attic.
Let's decorate the tree with them.
May I have your attention? Please make your smartest faces.
I'm starting a photo-hunt on you.
So what're the news from Moscow?
Dad and I have decided to obtain another child.
Well, well... before, people would try to obtain fur coats, motorcycles...
Now they've started looking to get children.
Oh, how nice! In the TV, some guy with a big moustache gave your mom flowers!
I would take that guy with his big ears and twist his ears off.
Here, I'll show you the guy.
There he is, the cunning villain - looks like a bureaucrat.
He's no villain. He's Mom's manager.
Oh, now Mom's going to sing!
But it's all in vain. Your TV's sound doesn't work!
Oh what a pity that we can't hear Mom!
She spent half a year preparing for this performance.
Wow, your mom's being broadcast both there and here.
Technology's moving so quickly!
Technology's not what's moving - I am. On skis!
As for the concert, that was taped.
Our mom's here!
Haven't I said before: I just can't live without our Prostokvashino!
[singing] If there weren't winter in the cities and villages,
we wouldn't know these joyous days
Children wouldn't circle around snowmen
Ski tracks wouldn't trace their loops.
If there weren't winter, if it were always summer,
we wouldn't know this New Year's frenzy.
Grandfather Frost wouldn't hurry to us over bumpy roads,
The ice on the river wouldn't freeze.
If there weren't winter in the cities and villages,
we wouldn't know these joyous days!
End of the film.