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(Music)

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[Sanskrit]

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This is an ode to the mother goddess,

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that most of us in India learn when we are children.

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I learned it when I was four

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at my mother's knee.

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That year she introduced me to dance,

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and thus began

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my tryst with classical dance.

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Since then -- it's been four decades now --

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I've trained with the best in the field,

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performed across the globe,

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taught young and old alike,

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created, collaborated,

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choreographed,

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and wove a rich tapestry

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of artistry, achievement and awards.

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The crowning glory was in 2007,

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when I received this country's

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fourth highest civilian award, the Padma Shri,

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for my contribution to art.

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(Applause)

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But nothing, nothing prepared me

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for what I was to hear

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on the first of July 2008.

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I heard the word "carcinoma."

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Yes, breast cancer.

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As I sat dumbstruck in my doctor's office,

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I heard other words:

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"cancer," "stage," "grade."

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Until then, Cancer was the zodiac

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sign of my friend,

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stage was what I performed on,

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and grades were what I got in school.

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That day, I realized

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I had an unwelcome, uninvited,

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new life partner.

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As a dancer,

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I know the nine rasas or the navarasas:

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anger, valor,

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disgust, humor

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and fear.

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I thought I knew what fear was.

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That day, I learned what fear was.

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Overcome with the enormity of it all

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and the complete feeling of loss of control,

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I shed copious tears

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and asked my dear husband, Jayant.

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I said, "Is this it? Is this the end of the road?

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Is this the end of my dance?"

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And he, the positive soul that he is,

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said, "No, this is just a hiatus,

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a hiatus during the treatment,

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and you'll get back to doing what you do best."

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I realized then

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that I, who thought I had complete control of my life,

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had control of only three things:

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My thought, my mind --

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the images that these thoughts created --

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and the action that derived from it.

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So here I was wallowing

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in a vortex of emotions

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and depression and what have you,

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with the enormity of the situation,

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wanting to go to a place of healing, health and happiness.

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I wanted to go from where I was

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to where I wanted to be,

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for which I needed something.

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I needed something that would pull me out of all this.

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So I dried my tears,

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and I declared to the world at large ...

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I said, "Cancer's only one page in my life,

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and I will not allow this page to impact the rest of my life."

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I also declared to the world at large

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that I would ride it out,

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and I would not allow cancer to ride me.

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But to go from where I was

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to where I wanted to be,

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I needed something.

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I needed an anchor, an image,

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a peg

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to peg this process on,

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so that I could go from there.

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And I found that in my dance,

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my dance, my strength, my energy, my passion,

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my very life breath.

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But it wasn't easy.

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Believe me, it definitely wasn't easy.

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How do you keep cheer

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when you go from beautiful

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to bald in three days?

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How do you not despair

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when, with the body ravaged by chemotherapy,

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climbing a mere flight of stairs was sheer torture,

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that to someone like me who could dance for three hours?

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How do you not get overwhelmed

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by the despair and the misery of it all?

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All I wanted to do was curl up and weep.

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But I kept telling myself fear and tears

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are options I did not have.

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So I would drag myself into my dance studio --

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body, mind and spirit -- every day into my dance studio,

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and learn everything I learned

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when I was four, all over again,

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reworked, relearned, regrouped.

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It was excruciatingly painful, but I did it.

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Difficult.

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I focused on my mudras,

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on the imagery of my dance,

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on the poetry and the metaphor

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and the philosophy of the dance itself.

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And slowly, I moved out

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of that miserable state of mind.

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But I needed something else.

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I needed something to go that extra mile,

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and I found it in that metaphor

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which I had learned from my mother when I was four.

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The metaphor of Mahishasura Mardhini,

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of Durga.

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Durga, the mother goddess, the fearless one,

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created by the pantheon of Hindu gods.

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Durga, resplendent, bedecked, beautiful,

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her 18 arms

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ready for warfare,

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as she rode astride her lion

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into the battlefield to destroy Mahishasur.

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Durga, the epitome

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of creative feminine energy,

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or shakti.

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Durga, the fearless one.

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I made that image of Durga

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and her every attribute, her every nuance,

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my very own.

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Powered by the symbology of a myth

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and the passion of my training,

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I brought laser-sharp focus into my dance,

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laser-sharp focus to such an extent

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that I danced a few weeks after surgery.

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I danced through chemo and radiation cycles,

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much to the dismay of my oncologist.

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I danced between chemo and radiation cycles

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and badgered him to fit it

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to my performing dance schedule.

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What I had done

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is I had tuned out of cancer

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and tuned into my dance.

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Yes, cancer has just been one page in my life.

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My story

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is a story of overcoming setbacks,

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obstacles and challenges

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that life throws at you.

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My story is the power of thought.

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My story is the power of choice.

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It's the power of focus.

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It's the power of bringing ourselves

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to the attention of something that so animates you,

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so moves you,

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that something even like cancer becomes insignificant.

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My story is the power of a metaphor.

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It's the power of an image.

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Mine was that of Durga,

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Durga the fearless one.

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She was also called Simhanandini,

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the one who rode the lion.

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As I ride out,

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as I ride my own inner strength,

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my own inner resilience,

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armed as I am with what medication can provide

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and continue treatment,

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as I ride out into the battlefield of cancer,

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asking my rogue cells to behave,

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I want to be known not as a cancer survivor,

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but as a cancer conqueror.

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I present to you an excerpt of that work

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"Simhanandini."

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(Applause)

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(Music)

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(Applause)