WEBVTT

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Hello, I'm David Carlton,
the Deputy Prime Minister.

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Hello.
I is Ali G, the dominating MC.

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Making bitches touch their punani.

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- The number after two, it be...
- Three.

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Not Ali A, not Ali B,
not Ali C, not Ali D,

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not Ali...

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E...

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not Ali...

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F...

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- but Ali...
- G.

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Bo! Your rhymes is tight
for a honkey, yes, sir.

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That's his full name and address.

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Tell me, Ali, do you have a job?

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I is recently gone on the dole.

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- When?
- Eight years and three months ago.

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It says here you claim disability.
Are you...?

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Yes, I is actually spasticated.

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I is got a terrible DJing injury

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and still ain't got full mobility
in me mixing finger.

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Fok-chickety-fok-fok-fresh. Ow.

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Everything down there
is still working. Oh, yes. Yes.

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Ali, erm...would you sit down?
Please, sit down.

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- Would you ever become an MP?
- What for? It's full of pricks.

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That's a little harsh.
I'm an MP, am I a prick?

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- Yes.
- Let's try a different angle.

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Is there nothing
you'd like to change?

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Me'd wanna save the John Nike
Leisure Centre, obviously.

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As the MP for Staines,
you could achieve that.

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Would you stand in this by-election?

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Me gotta be honest,
me ain't actually bi.

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- Well...
- I mean,

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obviously I done it with two girls.

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Well, I seen it on the internet.

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But me would never feel completely
comfortable being bummed by a man.

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A lot of people say never say ever

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but me feel strongly that me
exit hole should stay me exit hole

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and never become me entry hole,
you know what I is saying?

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Yes, yes.

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Well, it's been
a pleasure meeting you.

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David.

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Later, sweetheart.