Hello, I'm David Carlton,
the Deputy Prime Minister.

Hello.
I is Ali G, the dominating MC.

Making bitches touch their punani.

- The number after two, it be...
- Three.

Not Ali A, not Ali B,
not Ali C, not Ali D,

not Ali...

E...

not Ali...

F...

- but Ali...
- G.

Bo! Your rhymes is tight
for a honkey, yes, sir.

That's his full name and address.

Tell me, Ali, do you have a job?

I is recently gone on the dole.

- When?
- Eight years and three months ago.

It says here you claim disability.
Are you...?

Yes, I is actually spasticated.

I is got a terrible DJing injury

and still ain't got full mobility
in me mixing finger.

Fok-chickety-fok-fok-fresh. Ow.

Everything down there
is still working. Oh, yes. Yes.

Ali, erm...would you sit down?
Please, sit down.

- Would you ever become an MP?
- What for? It's full of pricks.

That's a little harsh.
I'm an MP, am I a prick?

- Yes.
- Let's try a different angle.

Is there nothing
you'd like to change?

Me'd wanna save the John Nike
Leisure Centre, obviously.

As the MP for Staines,
you could achieve that.

Would you stand in this by-election?

Me gotta be honest,
me ain't actually bi.

- Well...
- I mean,

obviously I done it with two girls.

Well, I seen it on the internet.

But me would never feel completely
comfortable being bummed by a man.

A lot of people say never say ever

but me feel strongly that me
exit hole should stay me exit hole

and never become me entry hole,
you know what I is saying?

Yes, yes.

Well, it's been
a pleasure meeting you.

David.

Later, sweetheart.