1
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Hello, I'm David Carlton,
the Deputy Prime Minister.

2
00:00:04,109 --> 00:00:08,208
Hello.
I is Ali G, the dominating MC.

3
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:11,287
Making bitches touch their punani.

4
00:00:11,287 --> 00:00:14,705
- The number after two, it be...
- Three.

5
00:00:14,705 --> 00:00:18,124
Not Ali A, not Ali B,
not Ali C, not Ali D,

6
00:00:18,124 --> 00:00:19,836
not Ali...

7
00:00:21,011 --> 00:00:22,054
E...

8
00:00:23,307 --> 00:00:25,382
not Ali...

9
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,429
F...

10
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:31,389
- but Ali...
- G.

11
00:00:31,389 --> 00:00:35,270
Bo! Your rhymes is tight
for a honkey, yes, sir.

12
00:00:35,270 --> 00:00:37,857
That's his full name and address.

13
00:00:37,857 --> 00:00:40,062
Tell me, Ali, do you have a job?

14
00:00:40,062 --> 00:00:42,985
I is recently gone on the dole.

15
00:00:42,985 --> 00:00:46,195
- When?
- Eight years and three months ago.

16
00:00:46,195 --> 00:00:49,579
It says here you claim disability.
Are you...?

17
00:00:49,579 --> 00:00:53,075
Yes, I is actually spasticated.

18
00:00:53,075 --> 00:00:55,369
I is got a terrible DJing injury

19
00:00:55,369 --> 00:00:58,754
and still ain't got full mobility
in me mixing finger.

20
00:00:58,754 --> 00:01:01,835
Fok-chickety-fok-fok-fresh. Ow.

21
00:01:01,835 --> 00:01:06,049
Everything down there
is still working. Oh, yes. Yes.

22
00:01:06,049 --> 00:01:10,559
Ali, erm...would you sit down?
Please, sit down.

23
00:01:13,857 --> 00:01:18,933
- Would you ever become an MP?
- What for? It's full of pricks.

24
00:01:18,933 --> 00:01:22,770
That's a little harsh.
I'm an MP, am I a prick?

25
00:01:22,770 --> 00:01:26,820
- Yes.
- Let's try a different angle.

26
00:01:28,579 --> 00:01:31,034
Is there nothing
you'd like to change?

27
00:01:31,034 --> 00:01:35,030
Me'd wanna save the John Nike
Leisure Centre, obviously.

28
00:01:35,030 --> 00:01:38,501
As the MP for Staines,
you could achieve that.

29
00:01:38,501 --> 00:01:41,037
Would you stand in this by-election?

30
00:01:41,037 --> 00:01:43,842
Me gotta be honest,
me ain't actually bi.

31
00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:45,961
- Well...
- I mean,

32
00:01:45,961 --> 00:01:48,255
obviously I done it with two girls.

33
00:01:48,255 --> 00:01:50,382
Well, I seen it on the internet.

34
00:01:50,382 --> 00:01:55,180
But me would never feel completely
comfortable being bummed by a man.

35
00:01:55,180 --> 00:01:57,437
A lot of people say never say ever

36
00:01:57,437 --> 00:02:01,432
but me feel strongly that me
exit hole should stay me exit hole

37
00:02:01,432 --> 00:02:05,234
and never become me entry hole,
you know what I is saying?

38
00:02:05,234 --> 00:02:07,950
Yes, yes.

39
00:02:07,950 --> 00:02:10,947
Well, it's been
a pleasure meeting you.

40
00:02:10,947 --> 00:02:11,697
David.

41
00:02:16,625 --> 00:02:18,452
Later, sweetheart.