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Hello, I'm David Carlton,[br]the Deputy Prime Minister.

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Hello.[br]I is Ali G, the dominating MC.

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Making bitches touch their punani.

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- The number after two, it be...[br]- Three.

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Not Ali A, not Ali B,[br]not Ali C, not Ali D,

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not Ali...

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E...

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not Ali...

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F...

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- but Ali...[br]- G.

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Bo! Your rhymes is tight[br]for a honkey, yes, sir.

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That's his full name and address.

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Tell me, Ali, do you have a job?

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I is recently gone on the dole.

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- When?[br]- Eight years and three months ago.

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It says here you claim disability.[br]Are you...?

0:00:49.579,0:00:53.075
Yes, I is actually spasticated.

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I is got a terrible DJing injury

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and still ain't got full mobility[br]in me mixing finger.

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Fok-chickety-fok-fok-fresh. Ow.

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Everything down there[br]is still working. Oh, yes. Yes.

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Ali, erm...would you sit down?[br]Please, sit down.

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- Would you ever become an MP?[br]- What for? It's full of pricks.

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That's a little harsh.[br]I'm an MP, am I a prick?

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- Yes.[br]- Let's try a different angle.

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Is there nothing[br]you'd like to change?

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Me'd wanna save the John Nike[br]Leisure Centre, obviously.

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As the MP for Staines,[br]you could achieve that.

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Would you stand in this by-election?

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Me gotta be honest,[br]me ain't actually bi.

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- Well...[br]- I mean,

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obviously I done it with two girls.

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Well, I seen it on the internet.

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But me would never feel completely[br]comfortable being bummed by a man.

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A lot of people say never say ever

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but me feel strongly that me[br]exit hole should stay me exit hole

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and never become me entry hole,[br]you know what I is saying?

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Yes, yes.

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Well, it's been[br]a pleasure meeting you.

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David.

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Later, sweetheart.