[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.18,0:00:09.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Good afternoon.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.18,0:00:12.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a real pleasure\Nto do another TED Talk.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.26,0:00:16.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And today I'm going to talk\Nto you about you.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.75,0:00:19.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And share with you, hopefully,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.24,0:00:22.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an idea that's really made\Na massive difference in my life
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.75,0:00:25.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and hopefully could make\Na massive difference in your life too.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.89,0:00:29.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've spent my life, really,\Nstudying human beings.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.20,0:00:32.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was a kid,\NI was the youngest of four,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.47,0:00:35.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I spent a lot of time\Njust watching my brothers and sisters
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.37,0:00:38.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and seeing the mess\Nand the challenge that they got into,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.26,0:00:40.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and trying to clock how I avoided that.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.50,0:00:43.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then I had the great fortune\Nof training as a physician,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.13,0:00:45.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and some of you may know
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.09,0:00:48.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that medical training\Nis the most incredible opportunity,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.94,0:00:52.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because you get up close\Nand personal with human suffering
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.14,0:00:55.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on every single level, on a daily basis.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.79,0:00:58.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been in a room where people\Nhave died right in front of me,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.79,0:01:00.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's a really profound moment.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.56,0:01:03.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've also been in a room\Nwhere life has come into the world;
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.82,0:01:09.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've delivered a number of children,\Nincluding three of my own four boys,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.82,0:01:11.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one of whom is at the back -
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.20,0:01:12.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hi, son.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.21,0:01:14.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.84,0:01:17.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Son from the audience) Hi, dad!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.42,0:01:22.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So medical training,\Na fantastic experience.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.10,0:01:26.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I became a researcher,\Ninitially an immunologist,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.37,0:01:28.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and studied right down to the nano detail
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.97,0:01:33.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of how our white blood cells\Nroll along the inside of our blood vessels
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.52,0:01:35.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and with really clever adhesion molecules
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.48,0:01:38.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stick and kind of squeeze out\Nbetween the endothelia cells
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.56,0:01:40.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and fight infection.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.08,0:01:44.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,More recently as a neuroscientist.\NSo right down at nano level.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.50,0:01:46.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And also at a much bigger scale.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.62,0:01:50.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had the good fortune of working\Nwith CEOs and leaders around the world
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.82,0:01:53.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in some of our biggest companies\Nand multi-nationals,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.31,0:01:56.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,looking at the hidden social dynamics\Nand the networks that exist
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.35,0:01:59.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that determine whether a company\Nsucceeds or fails.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.31,0:02:01.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As you heard,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.28,0:02:04.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've worked with elite athletes,\Nhelping them to win gold medals.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.22,0:02:07.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've read a lot, learned a lot.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.78,0:02:11.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And through all that time,\None question kept bothering me,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.81,0:02:14.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sort of eating away at my brain.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.01,0:02:15.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that question was:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.24,0:02:22.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you could teach yourself,\Nyour children, or anybody one thing,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.62,0:02:23.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what would it be?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.85,0:02:25.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What would that one thing be?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.64,0:02:27.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can only teach one thing
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.01,0:02:29.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of all the things\NI've learned and understood,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.15,0:02:31.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's that that I want\Nto share with you today.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.48,0:02:32.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is that one thing?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.59,0:02:36.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can tell you it's not "Eat an apple";\Nthat's not what it is.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.16,0:02:38.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're going to talk about that.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.64,0:02:42.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But before, I want to return, just,\Nto really the story of you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.95,0:02:44.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know whether you remember,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.58,0:02:48.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but there was a time\Nbefore you knew you existed.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.58,0:02:51.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For some of you that was probably\Nlast Friday night, after a skinful.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.96,0:02:52.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.89,0:02:56.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But as we all grow up,\Nthere's a moment in our life -
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.39,0:02:59.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this is a really\Nbeautiful moment if you witness it -
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.19,0:03:01.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where you can see, about one year old -
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.19,0:03:04.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it might happen a bit sooner, a bit later,\Nbut roughly about one year old -
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.71,0:03:08.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where a child realizes they exist\Nas a physical entity.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.53,0:03:11.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's that moment where they look\Nin the mirror, and they kind of go,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.73,0:03:13.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, that's me!"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.55,0:03:15.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They move their hand\Nand that hand moves,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.48,0:03:17.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they realize that that's them.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.38,0:03:20.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So they have a physical\Nawareness, if you will.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.03,0:03:23.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But they haven't yet developed\Nan awareness of their emotional self,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.24,0:03:25.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is why you get the terrible twos.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.24,0:03:26.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when a two-year-old is hungry,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.82,0:03:30.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the world is hungry\Nand why aren't we eating?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.28,0:03:34.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So there's that kind of intensity,\Nthat egocentricity in a two-year-old.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.78,0:03:38.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's where they kind of get\Nto test the power.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.08,0:03:39.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So in the supermarket,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.28,0:03:43.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's "Mom, mom, that that, me, me,\Nfood, food, me, me, me, food,"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.18,0:03:45.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they kind of bother you\Nto a great extent.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.99,0:03:50.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then again, it's witnessable,\Nthis moment where they suddenly realize
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.43,0:03:52.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that not only are they\Nphysically separate from you,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.95,0:03:55.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but their emotions\Nare not your emotions.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.91,0:03:57.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You may have witnessed this
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.40,0:04:00.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a child walking down\Nthe aisle in the supermarket,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.63,0:04:05.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,eyes, streaming red,\Nbawling in frustration and rage
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.32,0:04:07.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that they can't get what they want,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.23,0:04:10.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then looking at you\Ncompletely baffled,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.01,0:04:11.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like: "Why aren't you crying?"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.48,0:04:13.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We're hungry;\Nwe want those chocolates."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.91,0:04:15.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.19,0:04:17.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's that bafflement in their eyes,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.04,0:04:19.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that sort of thousand yard stare.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.01,0:04:22.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's the emergence\Nof the awareness of the emotional self,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.60,0:04:25.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,separate from the parent or the caregiver.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.47,0:04:27.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that's a sort of second level up,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.21,0:04:29.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it's not until they get\Nto three to six years old
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.80,0:04:32.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that they get into the "conceptual self,"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.07,0:04:35.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and part of that emergence\Nis a sense of identity.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.24,0:04:37.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's what you would know\Nas consciousness,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.38,0:04:39.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is they start to become aware -
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.44,0:04:42.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not only that they're physically,\Nemotionally separate,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.03,0:04:43.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but they've got an identity.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.97,0:04:46.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it blossoms between\Nthree and six years old.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.23,0:04:47.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of the things that happens
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.69,0:04:49.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the emergence\Nof conceptual self is language.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.98,0:04:53.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So language is essentially a concept:\Nit's a noise to represent something.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.98,0:04:56.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the emergence\Nof conceptual self happens,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.92,0:04:59.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we start to label our universe -
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.30,0:05:02.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, cat, dog, bat, ball,\Nwindow, floor, and so on.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.84,0:05:06.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the world starts to make sense\Nand we start to be able to navigate.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.13,0:05:08.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Children between the age\Nof three and six
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.30,0:05:10.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,learn about six new words\Nevery single day.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.66,0:05:13.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's phenomenal\Nlanguage acquisition going on.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.36,0:05:15.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But only from the fourth level,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.22,0:05:17.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is called concrete consciousness,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.30,0:05:20.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they start to learn\Nthe rules that govern the concepts.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.52,0:05:23.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then it all starts to make sense:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.13,0:05:25.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why is a dog a dog and a cat a cat?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.11,0:05:27.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why is a mummy a mummy\Nand daddy a daddy?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.03,0:05:28.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's the rule?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.88,0:05:31.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's in that between\Nsix and nine years old
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.26,0:05:32.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the fun starts to happen.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.72,0:05:34.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if you speak to a seven-year-old,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.99,0:05:37.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can start to have fun\Nby playing against the rules -
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.81,0:05:39.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, look at that cat\Ngoing woof-woof?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.100,0:05:41.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.98,0:05:45.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cats go meow! They don't go woof-woof.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.100,0:05:49.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it makes them laugh\Nbecause you're playing against the rules.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.06,0:05:51.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's this whole\Nrule emergence that occurs
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.83,0:05:53.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a child between six and nine.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.94,0:05:57.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then that's where most people
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.49,0:05:59.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stay ...
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.04,0:06:01.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.52,0:06:05.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most of the people\Nyou're going to meet, 20, 30, 40,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.27,0:06:07.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on the inside: nine!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.19,0:06:09.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.74,0:06:11.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See it in accompanies all the time:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.41,0:06:13.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,toys out of the pram,\Nbehaving like children.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.73,0:06:15.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's very common.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.07,0:06:17.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is an attempt,\Nusually in the early teenage years,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.70,0:06:20.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to get beyond that concrete self,\Nto get beyond the rules,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.75,0:06:23.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is why you get teenage conflict.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.13,0:06:26.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You'll see it, and parents\Ntry to suppress this,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.10,0:06:27.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like it's a bad thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.26,0:06:28.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a developmental stage!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.56,0:06:31.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You shouldn't be suppressing this stuff;\Nthey're testing the rules.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.70,0:06:33.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this battle ensues:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.15,0:06:36.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you told me to be home at ten,\NI want to be home at 11.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.68,0:06:39.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You told me to be honest;\Nyou're not being honest,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.13,0:06:40.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the fight breaks out.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.57,0:06:43.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they have their whole\Nturbulent teenage years.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.01,0:06:47.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Regardless of who wins that battle,\Nwhether it's mom or dad or the child,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.44,0:06:49.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it bubbles along for a few years.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.69,0:06:52.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now eventually,\Nregardless of who wins the battle,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.48,0:06:54.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they leave home - hopefully.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.72,0:06:57.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.86,0:07:01.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.29,0:07:03.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They go! Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.26,0:07:08.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But then a much bigger parent\Ncalled society comes in
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.64,0:07:10.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and imposes its rules.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.73,0:07:13.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So a lot of people go back\Ninto the concrete,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.26,0:07:16.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not like transferred but back\Nin the concrete following a set of rules,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.65,0:07:19.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we start to believe\Nthat we've got to get a degree,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.38,0:07:23.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we've got to get a job,\Na relationship, a car, a house,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.30,0:07:27.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we've got to get all these things\Nto be a good corporate citizen.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.07,0:07:29.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we start to follow the rules,\Nand we enter a company,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.95,0:07:33.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we start to work our way\Nup the career ladder,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.04,0:07:34.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,following the rules.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.26,0:07:38.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So a lot of people you'll encounter\Nare back in that concrete,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.26,0:07:40.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,their life become stereotypical.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.37,0:07:42.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You'll see people talk about this:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.01,0:07:44.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That's not how we\Ndo things at this company.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.11,0:07:47.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You'll be the Chief Executive,\NI'll be the Chief Financial Officer.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.26,0:07:48.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's how we do it around here."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.83,0:07:51.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a set of rules\Nthat we're all following,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.44,0:07:53.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we're often not even\Naware of those rules.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.79,0:07:56.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that will often happen\Nfor the rest of your life;
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.31,0:07:58.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you don't even realize\Nyou're running the rules.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.65,0:08:01.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By the way, these rules weren't given\Nto you with your permission;
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.77,0:08:05.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they were just imposed\Nby parents or society.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.78,0:08:07.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're not even aware of it.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.65,0:08:10.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're lucky, you have a crisis.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.75,0:08:12.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At some point in your life,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.04,0:08:15.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something terrible happens\Nto get you to question the rules.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.38,0:08:17.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, most people this never happens to -
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.43,0:08:20.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or if it does, it doesn't\Ncause them to question.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.41,0:08:22.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That might be the loss of a loved one,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:22.23,0:08:25.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the loss of a relationship\Nor something terrible happens,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.01,0:08:27.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,usually, most commonly, in midlife.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.95,0:08:30.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then you enter the stage\Nwhat we call "the disease of meaning,"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.91,0:08:32.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is it starts to occur to you
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.26,0:08:34.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's something wrong\Nwith the picture of your life.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.79,0:08:38.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been following all these rules,\Nand it hasn't delivered.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.80,0:08:41.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought if I was\Na good corporate citizen,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.12,0:08:44.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I got a good job, and a good house,\Nand paid tax and all of that stuff,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.77,0:08:47.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would be happy and blissful forever;
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.18,0:08:48.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm not.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.88,0:08:52.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the disease of meaning,\Nand that is real pain.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.03,0:08:55.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If that happens in a religious context,\Npeople call it purgatory.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.01,0:08:58.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, literally, it's hell on earth.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.04,0:09:00.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So people get into this state\Nand often they lash out,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.57,0:09:03.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they become unpleasant\Nand negative and so on,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.57,0:09:05.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they're basically in pain.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:05.60,0:09:08.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now there are two strategies to that pain.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.18,0:09:10.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First strategy - much loved by students -
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.24,0:09:11.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anaesthetic.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.77,0:09:13.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.28,0:09:17.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because if I can blot\Nout the meaning of life,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:17.08,0:09:19.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that kind of existential question -
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.18,0:09:21.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I'm wasted on a Friday night,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.29,0:09:24.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't have to think\Nabout what's the meaning of all this.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.69,0:09:26.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It just goes away as a question.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.76,0:09:31.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So then some people do this every night,\Nsome people every weekend, getting wasted,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.07,0:09:32.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,either through alcohol and drugs.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.70,0:09:35.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the problem is\Nwhen the hangover wears off,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.37,0:09:38.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the question returns; it's still there.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.26,0:09:40.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't answer it.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.61,0:09:43.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're smart, you realize\Nanesthetics won't help you.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.23,0:09:45.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you get into the second strategy,\Nwhich is distraction.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.37,0:09:49.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are lots of different\Ntypes of distraction.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.01,0:09:52.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That distraction can simply be\Nthat you become a gym bunny.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.42,0:09:55.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's pump some iron.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.03,0:09:59.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because when I'm feeling the burn,\NI don't have to think about the question.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.66,0:10:03.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I become "the body beautiful,"\Nstuck at the gym the whole time,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.39,0:10:07.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,getting the kick\Non the endorphins and so on.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.24,0:10:10.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you realize that, actually,\Nwhen you get away from the gym,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.20,0:10:11.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the question is there again.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.01,0:10:13.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the gym doesn't solve it.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.61,0:10:16.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you might use\Na very common strategy:
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.39,0:10:17.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sex ...
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.96,0:10:18.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.96,0:10:21.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because while I am engaged\Nin the intimacy of the sexual union,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.97,0:10:25.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't have to think about the question,\Nbecause I'm too busy doing this.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.48,0:10:27.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:28.98,0:10:32.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you may have noticed\Nthat when the act is over,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.38,0:10:34.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that bloody question comes back again.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.74,0:10:38.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So some people go even more nuts:\NI'll have sex with two people,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.76,0:10:39.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:39.76,0:10:41.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then a whole crowd -
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.82,0:10:45.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,desperately trying to get away\Nfrom this question that's bothering them:
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.43,0:10:48.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the meaning of their life.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.24,0:10:51.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if sex doesn't work -\Nand it doesn't, ultimately -
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.56,0:10:54.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then you get into materialism: shoes!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.21,0:10:56.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll go and buy some shoes.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.93,0:10:59.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or a car, or a house, or a yacht.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.26,0:11:00.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we get into materialism,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.54,0:11:03.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or some people that we see,\Nvery common in industry, workaholism -
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.68,0:11:04.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they become work-addicted.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.98,0:11:07.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because while I am working\Nthat hard, having to do stuff,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.66,0:11:09.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't have to think about the question.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.62,0:11:11.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,None of that solves the problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.56,0:11:13.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because we mistakenly believe
Dialogue: 0,0:11:13.64,0:11:16.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the problem is out there\Nand the solution is out there,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.53,0:11:18.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whereas the real problem is in here.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.16,0:11:23.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You cannot solve your sense\Nof emptiness, or your unrest,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.87,0:11:26.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with an external solution\Noutside of yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.35,0:11:29.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So stop looking out there,\Nyou have to look in here,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.50,0:11:33.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and particularly to look\Nat your own emotional experience.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.13,0:11:37.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, most people go through their life\Ncompletely unaware of emotions,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.15,0:11:38.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,particularly us fellows, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:38.69,0:11:42.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If somebody mentions the word "emotions,"\Nwe run for the hills!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.13,0:11:46.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Emotions are just energy in motion,\Nthey're composite biological signals:
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.98,0:11:49.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the signals made up\Nof all the pounding heart rate,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.54,0:11:51.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the sweaty palms,\Nthe tension in the muscles
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.64,0:11:53.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or whatever is going on biologically,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.89,0:11:58.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's stereotypical energetic patterns -\Nenergy in motion, they are e-motions.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.73,0:12:01.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, we all have emotions,\Nevery single second of every single day,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.87,0:12:03.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even us fellows.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:03.23,0:12:05.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Feelings, however,\Nare something entirely different.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.68,0:12:08.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Feelings are the awareness\Nin our mind of the energy.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.99,0:12:11.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the energy is always there\Nbut we don't necessarily feel it,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.95,0:12:13.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that's where we're stuck -
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.30,0:12:18.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is we haven't really learned\Nto understand our own emotional life.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:18.66,0:12:19.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we go through our life
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.88,0:12:22.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,believing how we're feeling\Non a moment by moment basis
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.46,0:12:23.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is down to somebody else.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.82,0:12:25.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We actually say this:
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.04,0:12:28.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You annoyed me,"\N"You made me unhappy,"
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.59,0:12:32.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You did it to me,"\Nand we point the finger at other people,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:32.10,0:12:35.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,believing other people are\Nthe cause of our own unhappiness.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:35.30,0:12:36.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So newsflash:
Dialogue: 0,0:12:37.36,0:12:39.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nobody's doing it to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.72,0:12:41.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nobody's making you feel these things.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.54,0:12:43.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, what do you think that happens
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.36,0:12:46.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you get frustrated\Nwith somebody else?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:46.02,0:12:48.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Did they come up to you\Nand inject you with frustration,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:48.99,0:12:50.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the chemicals of frustration?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:51.28,0:12:53.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Did they create the electrical\Nsignals of frustration,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.82,0:12:55.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the pressure waves, the sound waves?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:55.88,0:12:58.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No. You did that.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.13,0:13:02.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You created that inside yourself\Nin response to their poor behavior.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:03.53,0:13:06.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, if you can accept\Nthat you're doing it -
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.05,0:13:10.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's not them, it's you -
Dialogue: 0,0:13:10.73,0:13:14.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that simple truth takes you\Nfrom what we call the victim position,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.41,0:13:18.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it crosses the threshold to ownership.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.11,0:13:22.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the most important transition\Nyou'll ever make in your life.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:22.40,0:13:24.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So to help you navigate that,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.94,0:13:28.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,first and foremost, you have to understand\Nwhere am I in the universe of emotions.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:28.84,0:13:32.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I asked you to write down your current\Nemotions and gave you five minutes,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:32.49,0:13:33.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you'd have a list of things,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.87,0:13:36.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then we said, OK,\Nput your hands up who's got how many,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:36.64,0:13:39.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we did a test of how many you got,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:39.02,0:13:42.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the average in a room like this\Nwould be about ten or twelve.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.61,0:13:47.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are 34,000 emotions\Nthat you can experience.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:47.40,0:13:49.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most people go through life\Nwith ten or twelve.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:49.71,0:13:53.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And just to try to help you navigate,\NI'll show you an app that we've built
Dialogue: 0,0:13:53.49,0:13:56.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to help people know where they are\Nin the universe of emotions.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:56.81,0:14:00.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we've plotted\Nall these emotions on a map,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:00.95,0:14:03.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this map shows you the axes.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.34,0:14:08.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, to the top of the axis\Nin the universe of emotions,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:08.90,0:14:12.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we've got the ones that are,\Nsort of, more energy, if you like,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:12.15,0:14:14.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to the bottom the ones\Nthat are more relaxed.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.80,0:14:16.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To the left the ones\Nthat are more positive
Dialogue: 0,0:14:16.84,0:14:19.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to the right the ones\Nthat are more negative.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.14,0:14:22.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you can see that we've plotted\Nmaybe the 20 commonest emotions there,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:22.71,0:14:26.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and as I'm talking to you, right now,\Nyou're somewhere on this grid.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:26.36,0:14:30.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're somewhere in the universe\Nexperiencing one of these planets,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.36,0:14:33.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we can bring in the next 100 emotions,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:33.68,0:14:37.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we can bring in the next\N200 emotions, the next 1,000.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:37.22,0:14:40.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we've built this app to try\Nand crowd source with you all 34,000,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:40.79,0:14:43.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we've built it with\Njust 2,000 as a starter.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:43.100,0:14:49.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you can enter into\None of the 64 galaxies that exist
Dialogue: 0,0:14:49.29,0:14:51.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and start to navigate round
Dialogue: 0,0:14:51.30,0:14:55.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and see where you are in relation\Nto some of the other emotions,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:55.28,0:14:58.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because if you don't know\Nwhere you are, you're lost.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:59.48,0:15:02.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, you'd never get control\Nof your own state,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:02.01,0:15:05.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's really important for your health,\Nfor your well-being, for your success,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:05.82,0:15:06.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whatever you're doing,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:06.96,0:15:09.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whether you're a sportsperson\Nor a business leader,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:09.47,0:15:12.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you can start to control\Nyour own emotional state
Dialogue: 0,0:15:12.13,0:15:13.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of what's going on for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:13.73,0:15:15.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't know where you are,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:15.27,0:15:17.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how can you possibly\Ncontrol any of this stuff?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:17.48,0:15:19.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The answer is you can't.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:19.24,0:15:23.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the start of the journey\Nis even knowing which planet are you on.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:24.01,0:15:27.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is designed to help you,\Nand you can see in the top corner there,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:27.31,0:15:31.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it shows you roughly where you are\Nin the universe, at any point in time.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:31.20,0:15:35.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, we can zoom in\Ninto one of these 64 galaxies
Dialogue: 0,0:15:35.43,0:15:37.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and look at a specific solar system.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:37.52,0:15:40.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, where do we go into? Maybe, Sociable.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:40.66,0:15:41.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can see.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:41.67,0:15:44.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So let's zoom in \Nto the solar system of Sociable
Dialogue: 0,0:15:44.54,0:15:47.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and start to see\Nwhat planets are around you.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:47.61,0:15:49.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you want to move\Nfrom Sociable to something else
Dialogue: 0,0:15:49.99,0:15:53.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then gradually navigate yourself\Nto a different part of the universe,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:53.83,0:15:55.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can see where you are.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:56.28,0:15:59.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most importantly,\Nyou can track where you are,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:59.02,0:16:00.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so you can enter some notes.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:00.95,0:16:04.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You visit the planet of,\NI don't know, Popular.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:04.41,0:16:06.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I felt popular today.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:06.42,0:16:09.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People came up and gave me\Nvarious messages, and I felt popular.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:09.43,0:16:13.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you could enter\Nhow popular you felt or you didn't feel
Dialogue: 0,0:16:13.42,0:16:15.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and actually keep an audit trail,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:15.12,0:16:17.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you can socialize this\Nwith your mates.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:17.46,0:16:23.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can either share it on Facebook\Nor tweet it or Gmail it
Dialogue: 0,0:16:23.07,0:16:27.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and see, well, who else \Nis in the solar system of Sociable
Dialogue: 0,0:16:27.54,0:16:30.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or even on the planet Popular -\Nwho else is out there.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:30.46,0:16:31.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I can track,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:31.60,0:16:34.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as it does with these audit trails,\Nof where I've been.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:34.30,0:16:36.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this is your start point,\Nstarting to get a grip
Dialogue: 0,0:16:36.88,0:16:39.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of do you even know\Nwhich planet you're on,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:40.40,0:16:43.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which are the nearest planets\Nand how you can start to move around,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:43.54,0:16:47.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,start to get some navigational capability\Nwithin that universe.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:48.03,0:16:51.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the first thing is you've got\Nto learn navigational potential,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:51.19,0:16:54.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this is designed to help you build\Nyour emotional repertoire.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:54.100,0:16:57.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you're not just stuck\Nwith twelve emotions,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:57.36,0:16:58.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or in some people frankly:
Dialogue: 0,0:16:58.90,0:17:00.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,two!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:00.100,0:17:04.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel "yuck" or "OK,"\Nthe only two motions they've got.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:05.92,0:17:07.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you've got to build a repertoire,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:07.75,0:17:10.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what you discover\Nas you start to build a repertoire,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:10.43,0:17:13.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some emotions are\Nbetter antidotes than others.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:13.82,0:17:16.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you can start to navigate around.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:16.59,0:17:17.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The second maneuver,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:17.85,0:17:21.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,once you've started\Nto navigate around the universe,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:21.01,0:17:24.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is really, once you get\Nto a more constructive planet,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:24.49,0:17:27.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's no right and wrong,\Nbut is this emotion really serving you?
Dialogue: 0,0:17:27.93,0:17:30.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you get\Nto a more constructive planet,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:30.20,0:17:31.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can you stay there?
Dialogue: 0,0:17:31.65,0:17:34.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that really requires you\Nto do a separate maneuver,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:34.53,0:17:35.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's called Mastery,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:35.70,0:17:40.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where you actually take the emotion\Nwhich is subject to you -
Dialogue: 0,0:17:40.14,0:17:44.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's a subjective experience,\Nbelow the level of your real awareness,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:44.74,0:17:48.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're sort of subject to it,\Ni.e. it's got you.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:48.22,0:17:52.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if you've got anger,\Nif anger is going through your system,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:52.03,0:17:53.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you're on the planet of Anger,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:53.61,0:17:54.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's got you.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:54.61,0:17:57.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You haven't got it; it's got you.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:57.34,0:18:00.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The way to get control over it\Nis to objectify it.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:00.19,0:18:02.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, "Oh, it is anger."
Dialogue: 0,0:18:02.27,0:18:04.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you take it out\Nas a subjective experience,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:04.41,0:18:05.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you objectify it.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:05.73,0:18:08.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you can objectify it,\Nyou can get a grip of it.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:08.80,0:18:11.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you can do that\Nwith your positive emotions,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:11.18,0:18:14.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then you can move yourself\Nover to the positive side of the universe
Dialogue: 0,0:18:14.46,0:18:15.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and stay there.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:16.42,0:18:20.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you really don't have to feel anything\Nyou do not want to feel.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:21.61,0:18:24.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Misery is optional,\Nyou don't have to feel that.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:25.30,0:18:27.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But if you haven't got control,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:27.94,0:18:28.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then who has?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:28.98,0:18:31.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the answer is usually\Nsomebody outside of you.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:31.57,0:18:33.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I'd really encourage you,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:33.16,0:18:35.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you want to transform\Nyour life forever -
Dialogue: 0,0:18:35.43,0:18:38.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because, ultimately,\Nemotions will predict your health,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:38.64,0:18:42.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they'll predict your performance,\Nyour wellbeing, your sense of fulfillment,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:42.89,0:18:47.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they'll determine your ability\Nto make effective decisions,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:47.66,0:18:50.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,emotions drive all of that,\Nyour motivation and so on.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:50.99,0:18:53.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't know about them\Nand have control over them,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:53.67,0:18:56.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's a little bit of a lottery as life.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:56.48,0:19:00.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if you go away after today,\Nand ask yourself one question:
Dialogue: 0,0:19:00.65,0:19:02.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what planet am I on?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:03.52,0:19:05.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what planet would I like to be on?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:05.88,0:19:09.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And start to work to be\Non the planet that you want to be on
Dialogue: 0,0:19:09.26,0:19:12.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rather than wherever life has pushed you.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:13.22,0:19:15.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine a world where all of us
Dialogue: 0,0:19:15.91,0:19:18.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could be on the planet\Nwe wanted to be on,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:18.78,0:19:20.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or navigate around\Nthat kind of solar system
Dialogue: 0,0:19:20.87,0:19:23.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or the galaxies that we\Nwanted to experience.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:23.26,0:19:24.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine a world
Dialogue: 0,0:19:24.78,0:19:29.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where, when you go to the bar to chat up\Nthat attractive person at the bar,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:29.51,0:19:31.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you didn't need four pints\Nof Dutch courage
Dialogue: 0,0:19:31.51,0:19:33.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before you could go there.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:33.89,0:19:36.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine you could just do that yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:36.82,0:19:37.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine a world
Dialogue: 0,0:19:37.94,0:19:42.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where you didn't need to feel anxious\Ngoing into an exam or a job interview,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:42.22,0:19:45.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where you didn't need\Nto feel terrified coming on stage.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:45.50,0:19:49.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine a world where your children,\Non the receiving end of bullying,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:49.10,0:19:51.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,didn't feel terrified or bullied.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:52.09,0:19:56.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you could control your emotions,\Nyou can change your life completely.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:57.46,0:19:58.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I'd really encourage you
Dialogue: 0,0:19:58.78,0:20:02.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to start wondering about\Nwhat planet you're on
Dialogue: 0,0:20:02.62,0:20:05.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and start putting\Nyourself in the universe,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:05.43,0:20:09.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in that part of the universe\Nwhere you really want to live your life.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:09.00,0:20:10.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you very much.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:10.28,0:20:13.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)