0:00:00.431,0:00:09.679 (موسیقی) 0:00:09.989,0:00:13.081 (تشویق) 0:00:13.401,0:00:16.882 رابرت والدینگر: چه چیزی سلامت و شادی [br]ما را درزندگی حفظ کنیم؟ 0:00:21.656,0:00:22.656 ،اگرقصدداشتید به بهترین شکل ممکن برای آینده خود سرمایه گذاری کنید[br]وقت و انرژی خود را صرف چه چیزی می کردید؟ 0:00:24.543,0:00:25.543 دربررسی هزاره اخیر، از مردم خواستند[br]تا هداف مهم زندگیشان را نام ببرند. 0:00:25.987,0:00:26.709 .بیش از 80درصد آنها گفتند می خواهند ثروتمند شوند 0:00:26.709,0:00:27.431 .و50درصد جوانان گفتند علاوه بر ثروتنمند شدن، [br]می خواهند مشهورگردند 0:00:44.112,0:00:45.112 وهمواره به ما می گویندپرتلاش و مسئولیت پذیرهستیم، بیشتر به خودفشارمی آوریم، وبیشترپیشرفت می کنیم. 0:00:52.952,0:00:53.952 وهمواره به ما می گویند پشت به کاربده، سخت ترتلاش کن، وبیشتر بیشرفت کن. 0:01:01.793,0:01:06.543 وباورمان شده که م برای زندگی خوب باید [br].دنبال چنین چیزهایی باشیم. 0:01:07.236,0:01:16.526 نمی توان از همه دوران عمرمردم، از انتخابهایشان، و[br]نتیجه انتخابشان تصویربرداری کرد. 0:01:18.122,0:01:24.116 بیشتردانسته های ما درباره زندگی بشر، [br].از پرسش ازمردم و یادآوری گذشته آنها است 0:01:25.014,0:01:29.387 وهمانظورکه می دانید، گذشته گذشته وکاریش نمیشه کرد[br].اما مردم فراموشش می کنند 0:01:29.916,0:01:33.377 مابسياري اؤ اتفاقات گذشته [br].را فراموش می کنیم 0:01:33.706,0:01:35.965 .وگاهی وقتها صرفا کار حافظه خلاقیت است 0:01:37.161,0:01:44.121 اما چه می شد اگر می توانستیم گذر تمام زندگیها [br].را آشکارابا گذشت زمان تماشا می کردیم 0:01:44.593,0:01:50.369 .چه می شداگر زندگی آدما را از نوجوانی [br].تا کهنسالی مطالعه می کردیم 0:01:51.243,0:01:53.875 تاببینیم که واقعا چه باعث میشه [br].تا مردم خوشحالی و سلامتشان را حفظ کنند 0:01:55.827,0:01:56.765 ما این کارراکردیم. 0:01:57.935,0:02:04.768 مطالعه هاروارددرباره رشد و پیشرفت بزرگسالان [br].بلندمدت ترین تحقیقی است که تابه حال انجام شده است 0:02:05.961,0:02:12.040 ما طی 75 سال زندگی 724 نفر[br].را ردیابی کرده ایم 0:02:13.667,0:02:17.707 ما به صورت مرتب هرسال ىرباره کارشان[br]،کیفیت زندگیشان و سلامتشان تحقیق کرده ایم 0:02:18.307,0:02:23.788 Year after year, asking about their work, their home lives, their health, 0:02:25.510,0:02:32.611 and of course asking all along the way, without knowing how their life stories are going to turn out. 0:02:33.323,0:02:38.714 Studies like this are exceedingly rare. Almost all projects of this kind fall apart within a decade. 0:02:39.626,0:02:45.306 Because too many people dropout of the study, or funding for the research dries up. 0:02:46.778,0:02:53.742 Or the researchers get distracted or they die, and no body moves the ball further down the field. 0:02:54.900,0:03:04.629 But through a combination of luck and the persistence of several generations of researchers, this study has survived. 0:03:06.002,0:03:14.048 About 60 of our original 724 men, are still alive, still participating in the study, most of them in their 90's. 0:03:15.840,0:03:19.741 And we are now beginning to study more than 2,000 children of these men. And I am the fourth director of the study. 0:03:20.618,0:03:24.821 Since 1938 we've tracked the lives of two groups of men. 0:03:25.428,0:03:30.331 The first group started in the study when they were sophomores at Harvard College. 0:03:31.611,0:03:37.931 They all finished college during WWII, and then most went off to serve in the war. 0:03:38.323,0:03:47.754 And the second group that we followed, was a group of boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods. 0:03:47.999,0:03:52.140 Boys who were chosen for the study, specifically because they were from some of the most troubled and disadvantaged families in Boston of the 1930s. 0:03:55.090,0:04:01.522 Most lived in tenements, many without hot and cold running water. 0:04:02.682,0:04:09.874 When they entered the study, all of these teenagers were interviewed, they were given medical exams. 0:04:10.505,0:04:16.108 We went to their homes and interviewed their parents. And then these teenagers grew up into adults who entered all walks of life. 0:04:16.765,0:04:18.800 They became factory workers, and lawyers, and brick layers, and doctors. [br] 0:04:20.526,0:04:24.385 One President of the United States. 0:04:25.745,0:04:30.386 Some developed alcoholism, a few developed schizophrenia. 0:04:31.297,0:04:35.187 Some climbed the social ladder from the bottom all the way to the very top. 0:04:35.977,0:04:43.630 And some made that journey in the opposite direction. 0:04:43.880,0:04:48.051 The founders of this study, would never in their wildest dreams, have imagined that I would be standing here today, 0:04:49.987,0:04:58.978 75 years later, telling you that the study still continues. 0:05:00.616,0:05:07.540 Every two years our patient and dedicated research staff calls up our men, and asks them if we can send them yet one more set of questions about their lives. 0:05:09.018,0:05:11.480 Many of the inner city Boston men ask us, [br]"why do you keep wanting to study me? My life just isn't that interesting." 0:05:11.581,0:05:18.450 The Harvard men never ask that question. 0:05:21.399,0:05:26.231 [laughing] 0:05:27.339,0:05:33.473 To get the clearest picture of these lives, we don't just send them questionnaires. 0:05:33.911,0:05:41.048 We interview them in their living rooms, we get their medical records from their doctors, we draw their blood. 0:05:42.213,0:05:50.726 We scan their brains, we talk to their children, we videotape them talking to their wives about their deepest concerns. 0:05:50.937,0:05:51.856 And when about a decade ago we finally asked the wives if they would join us as members of the study, many of the women said "you know its about time." 0:05:52.245,0:06:02.681 [laughter] 0:06:04.259,0:06:09.671 So what did we learn? What are the lessons that come from the tens of thousands of pages of information that we've generated on these lives? 0:06:10.961,0:06:16.663 Well the lessons aren't about wealth, or fame, or working harder and harder. 0:06:17.143,0:06:21.936 The clearest message that we get from this 75 year study is this: 0:06:23.363,0:06:26.264 Good relationships keep us happier and healthier, period. 0:06:27.093,0:06:32.854 We've learned three big lessons about relationships. 0:06:33.956,0:06:41.352 The first, is that social connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kills. 0:06:42.103,0:06:47.298 It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier. 0:06:48.759,0:06:51.736 They are physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected. 0:06:52.331,0:06:59.542 And the experiences of loneliness turns out to be toxic. 0:07:00.488,0:07:09.056 People who are more isolated than they want to be from others, find that they are less happy, 0:07:10.425,0:07:17.747 their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner, and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely. 0:07:19.375,0:07:23.927 And the sad fact, is that at any given time more than 1 in 5 Americans will report that they are lonely. 0:07:25.448,0:07:29.737 And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd, and you can be lonely in a marriage. 0:07:30.203,0:07:37.621 So the second big lesson that we learned, is that it's not just the number of friends that you have, 0:07:39.160,0:07:42.781 and it't not just whether or not you're in a committed relationship, but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters. 0:07:43.703,0:07:52.630 It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health. 0:07:53.704,0:07:57.854 High conflict marriages for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worst than getting divorced. 0:07:58.434,0:08:03.856 And living in the midst of good, warm relationships, is protective. 0:08:04.566,0:08:11.157 Once we had followed our men all the way into their eighties, we wanted to look back at them at midlife. 0:08:12.358,0:08:17.959 And to see if we could predict who was going to grow into a happy healthy octogenarian, and who wasn't. 0:08:18.752,0:08:23.077 But when we gathered together, everything we knew about them, at age 50, 0:08:23.858,0:08:26.902 it wasn't their middle age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old. 0:08:27.280,0:08:34.812 It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. 0:08:36.084,0:08:41.784 The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50, were the healthiest at age 80. 0:08:43.004,0:08:54.036 And good close relationships seem to buffer us from some of the slings and arrows of getting old. 0:08:54.895,0:09:03.760 Our most happily partnered men and women, reported in their eighties, that on the days that they had more physical pain, their mood stayed just as happy. 0:09:04.830,0:09:12.012 But the people who were in unhappy relationships, on the days they reported more physical pain, it was magnified by more emotional pain. 0:09:12.671,0:09:13.919 And the third big lesson that we learn about relationships and our health, is that good relationships don't just protect our bodies, 0:09:14.900,0:09:23.173 they protect our brains. 0:09:23.483,0:09:29.315 It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship to another person in your 80s, is protective. 0:09:29.656,0:09:32.661 That the people who are in relationships, that they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need, 0:09:33.446,0:09:41.547 those peoples memories stay sharper longer. 0:09:42.890,0:09:46.525 And the people in relationships that feel that they really cant count on the other one, those are the people who experience earlier memory decline. 0:09:46.776,0:09:51.020 And those good relationships, they don't have to be smooth all the time. [br] 0:09:51.718,0:10:00.271 Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each other day in and day out. 0:10:02.130,0:10:12.364 But as long as they could count on the other when the going got tough, those arguments didn't take a toll on their memories. 0:10:13.432,0:10:16.393 So, this message that good close relationships are good for our health and wellbeing, this is wisdom that's as old as the hills. 0:10:17.885,0:10:19.265 Why is it so hard to get and so easy to ignore? 0:10:19.545,0:10:26.359 Well, we're human. 0:10:27.825,0:10:36.521 What we really like is a quick fix, something we can get that'll make our lives good and keep it that way. 0:10:37.585,0:10:40.220 Relationships are messy and they are complicated and the hard work of tending to family and friends, its not sexy or glamorous. 0:10:40.969,0:10:50.862 It's also life long, it never ends. [br] 0:10:52.031,0:10:57.913 The people in our 75 year study who were the happiest in retirement, were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates. 0:10:58.541,0:11:05.534 Just like the Millennials in that recent survey, many of our men when they were starting out as young adults, 0:11:06.585,0:11:12.265 really believed that fame and wealth and high achievement were what they needed to go after, to have a good life. 0:11:12.837,0:11:19.498 But over and over, over these 75 years our study has shown that the people who faired the best, 0:11:20.248,0:11:22.790 are the people who leaned in to relationships with family, with friends, with community. 0:11:23.520,0:11:30.972 So what about you? 0:11:32.520,0:11:34.942 Let's say your 25, or you're 40, or 60. What might leaning into relationships even look like? 0:11:35.982,0:11:40.925 Well the possibilities are practically endless. 0:11:42.554,0:11:45.915 It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time. 0:11:46.593,0:11:48.596 Or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together. 0:11:50.125,0:11:53.778 Long walks or date nights. 0:11:54.629,0:12:02.171 Or reaching out to that family member you haven't spoken to in years, 0:12:04.496,0:12:08.800 because those all too common family feuds, take a terrible toll on people who hold the grudges. 0:12:09.911,0:12:15.803 I'd like to close with a quote from Mark Twain, 0:12:17.262,0:12:33.524 more than a century ago, he was looking back on his life, and he wrote this, 0:12:35.057,0:12:39.857 "There isn't time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that." 0:12:40.345,0:12:46.938 The good life is built with good relationships. Thank you. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 [Applause]