WEBVTT

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What keeps us healthy and happy 
ขา

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0:20 - 0:21

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as we go through life?

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0:22 - 0:25

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If you were going to invest now

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0:25 - 0:27

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in your future best self,

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0:27 - 0:31

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where would you put your time
and your energy?

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0:32 - 0:34

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There are lots of answers out there.

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0:34 - 0:38

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We're bombarded with images
of what's most important in life.

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0:40 - 0:43

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The media are filled with stories
of people who are rich

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0:43 - 0:46

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and famous and building empires at work.

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0:47 - 0:49

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And we believe those stories.

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0:50 - 0:53

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There was a recent survey of millennials

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0:53 - 0:58

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asking them what their
most important life goals were,

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0:58 - 1:00

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and over 80 percent said

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1:00 - 1:04

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that a major life goal for them
was to get rich.

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1:06 - 1:10

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And another 50 percent
of those same young adults

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1:10 - 1:13

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said that another major life goal

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1:13 - 1:14

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was to become famous.

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1:16 - 1:17

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(Laughter)

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1:17 - 1:24

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And we're constantly told
to lean in to work, to push harder

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1:24 - 1:26

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and achieve more.

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1:26 - 1:30

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We're given the impression that these
are the things that we need to go after

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1:30 - 1:32

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in order to have a good life.

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1:32 - 1:34

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But is that true?

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1:34 - 1:38

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Is that really what keeps people happy
as they go through life?

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1:40 - 1:42

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Pictures of entire lives,

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1:42 - 1:47

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of the choices that people make
and how those choices work out for them,

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1:47 - 1:50

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those pictures
are almost impossible to get.

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1:52 - 1:55

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Most of what we know about human life

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1:55 - 1:58

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we know from asking people
to remember the past,

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1:59 - 2:03

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and as we know, hindsight
is anything but 20/20.

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2:03 - 2:07

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We forget vast amounts
of what happens to us in life,

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2:07 - 2:10

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and sometimes memory
is downright creative.

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2:11 - 2:12

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Mark Twain understood this.

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2:14 - 2:15

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He's quoted as saying,

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2:16 - 2:20

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"Some of the worst things in my life
never happened."

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2:20 - 2:23

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(Laughter)

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2:24 - 2:28

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And research shows us that we actually
remember the past more positively

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2:28 - 2:30

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as we get older.

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2:30 - 2:33

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I'm reminded of a bumper sticker
that says,

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2:33 - 2:36

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"It's never too late
to have a happy childhood."

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2:36 - 2:39

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(Laughter)

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2:40 - 2:44

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But what if we could watch entire lives

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2:44 - 2:47

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as they unfold through time?

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2:47 - 2:51

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What if we could study people
from the time that they were teenagers

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2:51 - 2:54

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all the way into old age

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2:54 - 2:57

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to see what really keeps people
happy and healthy?

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2:58 - 2:59

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We did that.

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3:00 - 3:03

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The Harvard Study of Adult Development

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3:03 - 3:07

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may be the longest study
of adult life that's ever been done.

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3:08 - 3:14

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For 75 years, we've tracked
the lives of 724 men,

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3:16 - 3:21

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year after year, asking about their work,
their home lives, their health,

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3:21 - 3:25

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and of course asking all along the way
without knowing how their life stories

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3:25 - 3:27

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were going to turn out.

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3:28 - 3:32

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Studies like this are exceedingly rare.

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3:32 - 3:36

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Almost all projects of this kind
fall apart within a decade

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3:36 - 3:39

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because too many people
drop out of the study,

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3:39 - 3:42

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or funding for the research dries up,

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3:42 - 3:44

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or the researchers get distracted,

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3:44 - 3:48

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or they die, and nobody moves the ball
further down the field.

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3:49 - 3:51

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But through a combination of luck

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3:51 - 3:55

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and the persistence
of several generations of researchers,

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3:55 - 3:57

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this study has survived.

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3:57 - 4:02

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About 60 of our original 724 men

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4:02 - 4:03

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are still alive,

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4:03 - 4:05

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still participating in the study,

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4:05 - 4:07

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most of them in their 90s.

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4:08 - 4:10

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And we are now beginning to study

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4:10 - 4:14

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the more than 2,000 children of these men.

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4:14 - 4:17

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And I'm the fourth director of the study.

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4:18 - 4:23

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Since 1938, we've tracked the lives
of two groups of men.

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4:23 - 4:25

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The first group started in the study

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4:25 - 4:28

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when they were sophomores
at Harvard College.

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4:28 - 4:31

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The were from what Tom Brokaw has called
"the greatest generation".

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4:32 - 4:35

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They all finished college
during World War II,

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4:35 - 4:37

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and then most went off
to serve in the war.

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4:38 - 4:40

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And the second group that we've followed

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4:40 - 4:44

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was a group of boys
from Boston's poorest neighborhoods,

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4:44 - 4:46

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boys who were chosen for the study

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4:46 - 4:50

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specifically because they were
from some of the most troubled

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4:50 - 4:52

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and disadvantaged families

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4:52 - 4:54

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in the Boston of the 1930s.

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4:54 - 4:59

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Most lived in tenements,
many without hot and cold running water.

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5:01 - 5:03

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When they entered the study,

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5:03 - 5:06

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all of these teenagers were interviewed.

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5:06 - 5:08

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They were given medical exams.

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5:08 - 5:12

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We went to their homes
and we interviewed their parents.

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5:12 - 5:14

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And then these teenagers
grew up into adults

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5:14 - 5:17

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who entered all walks of life.

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5:17 - 5:23

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They became factory workers and lawyers
and bricklayers and doctors,

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5:23 - 5:25

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one President of the United States.

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5:27 - 5:31

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Some developed alcoholism.
A few developed schizophrenia.

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5:32 - 5:34

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Some climbed the social ladder

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5:34 - 5:38

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from the bottom
all the way to the very top,

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5:38 - 5:41

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and some made that journey
in the opposite direction.

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5:42 - 5:45

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The founders of this study

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5:45 - 5:47

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would never in their wildest dreams

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5:47 - 5:52

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have imagined that I would be
standing here today, 75 years later,

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5:52 - 5:55

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telling you that
the study still continues.

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5:56 - 6:00

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Every two years, our patient
and dedicated research staff

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6:00 - 6:03

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calls up our men
and asks them if we can send them

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6:03 - 6:06

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yet one more set of questions
about their lives.

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6:07 - 6:10

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Many of the inner city Boston men ask us,

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6:10 - 6:14

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"Why do you keep wanting to study me?
My life just isn't that interesting."

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6:15 - 6:18

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The Harvard men never ask that question.

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6:18 - 6:23

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Laughter)

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6:28 - 6:30

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
To get the clearest picture
of these lives,

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6:31 - 6:33

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we don't just send them questionnaires.

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6:33 - 6:36

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We interview them in their living rooms.

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6:37 - 6:40

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We get their medical records
from their doctors.

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6:40 - 6:42

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We draw their blood, we scan their brains,

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6:42 - 6:44

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we talk to their children.

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6:44 - 6:49

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We videotape them talking with their wives
about their deepest concerns.

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6:49 - 6:53

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And when, about a decade ago,
we finally asked the wives

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6:53 - 6:55

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
if they would join us
as members of the study,

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6:55 - 6:58

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many of the women said,
"You know, it's about time."

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6:58 - 6:59

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Laughter)

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7:01 - 7:02

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So what have we learned?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
7:02 - 7:08

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What are the lessons that come
from the tens of thousands of pages

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
7:08 - 7:11

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of information that we've generated

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
7:11 - 7:12

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
on these lives?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
7:13 - 7:18

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, the lessons aren't about wealth
or fame or working harder and harder.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
7:20 - 7:26

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The clearest message that we get
from this 75-year study is this:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
7:26 - 7:31

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Good relationships keep us
happier and healthier. Period.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
7:32 - 7:36

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We've learned three big lessons
about relationships.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
7:36 - 7:40

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The first is that social connections
are really good for us,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
7:40 - 7:43

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and that loneliness kills.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
7:43 - 7:47

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It turns out that people
who are more socially connected

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
7:47 - 7:50

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to family, to friends, to community,

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7:50 - 7:55

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
are happier, they're physically healthier,
and they live longer

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
7:55 - 7:58

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
than people who are less well connected.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
7:58 - 8:02

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And the experience of loneliness
turns out to be toxic.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:02 - 8:07

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
People who are more isolated
than they want to be from others

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:07 - 8:10

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
find that they are less happy,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:10 - 8:13

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
their health declines earlier in midlife,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:13 - 8:15

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
their brain functioning declines sooner

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:15 - 8:19

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and they live shorter lives
than people who are not lonely.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:20 - 8:23

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And the sad fact
is that at any given time,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:23 - 8:28

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
more than one in five Americans
will report that they're lonely.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:29 - 8:31

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And we know that you
can be lonely in a crowd

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:31 - 8:34

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and you can be lonely in a marriage,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:34 - 8:36

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so the second big lesson that we learned

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:36 - 8:39

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is that it's not just
the number of friends you have,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:39 - 8:43

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and it's not whether or not
you're in a committed relationship,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:43 - 8:48

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but it's the quality
of your close relationships that matters.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:48 - 8:53

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It turns out that living in the midst
of conflict is really bad for our health.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:53 - 8:57

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
High-conflict marriages, for example,
without much affection,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
8:58 - 9:04

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
turn out to be very bad for our health,
perhaps worse than getting divorced.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:04 - 9:09

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And living in the midst of good,
warm relationships is protective.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:09 - 9:12

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Once we had followed our men
all the way into their 80s,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:12 - 9:15

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
we wanted to look back at them at midlife

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:16 - 9:17

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and to see if we could predict

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:17 - 9:21

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
who was going to grow
into a happy, healthy octogenarian

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:21 - 9:23

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and who wasn't.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:23 - 9:27

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And when we gathered together
everything we knew about them

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:28 - 9:29

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
at age 50,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:30 - 9:32

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it wasn't their middle age
cholesterol levels

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:32 - 9:35

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that predicted how they
were going to grow old.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:35 - 9:39

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It was how satisfied they were
in their relationships.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:39 - 9:44

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The people who were the most satisfied
in their relationships at age 50

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:44 - 9:46

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
were the healthiest at age 80.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:47 - 9:50

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And good, close relationships
seem to buffer us

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:50 - 9:53

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
from some of the slings and arrows
of getting old.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:54 - 9:58

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Our most happily partnered men and women

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
9:58 - 10:00

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
reported, in their 80s,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:00 - 10:03

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that on the days
when they had more physical pain,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:03 - 10:05

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
their mood stayed just as happy.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:06 - 10:09

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But the people who were
in unhappy relationships,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:09 - 10:12

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
on the days when they
reported more physical pain,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:12 - 10:15

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it was magnified by more emotional pain.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:17 - 10:22

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And the third big lesson that we learned
about relationships and our health

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:22 - 10:25

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is that good relationships
don't just protect our bodies,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:25 - 10:27

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
they protect our brains.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:28 - 10:32

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It turns out that being
in a securely attached relationship

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:32 - 10:36

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to another person in your 80s
is protective,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:36 - 10:38

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that the people who are in relationships

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:38 - 10:42

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
where they really feel they can count
on the other person in times of need,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:42 - 10:46

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
those people's memories
stay sharper longer.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:46 - 10:48

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And the people in relationships

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:48 - 10:51

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
where they feel they really
can't count on the other one,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:51 - 10:55

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
those are the people who experience
earlier memory decline.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:56 - 10:59

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And those good relationships,
they don't have to be smooth all the time.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10:59 - 11:03

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Some of our octogenarian couples
could bicker with each other

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:03 - 11:04

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
day in and day out,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:04 - 11:08

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but as long as they felt that they
could really count on the other

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:08 - 11:09

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
when the going got tough,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:10 - 11:13

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
those arguments didn't take a toll
on their memories.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:15 - 11:17

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So this message,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:17 - 11:23

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that good, close relationships
are good for our health and well-being,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:23 - 11:26

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
this is wisdom that's as old as the hills.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:26 - 11:29

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's your grandmother's advice,
and your pastor's.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:30 - 11:32

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Why is this so hard to get?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:33 - 11:35

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
For example, with respect to wealth, we know

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:35 - 11:38

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that once your basic 
material needs are met,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:39 - 11:40

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
wealth doesn't do it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:40 - 11:44

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If you go from making 
75,000 dollars a year

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:44 - 11:45

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to 75 million,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:46 - 11:50

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
we know that your health and happiness
will change very little,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:50 - 11:51

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
if at all.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:52 - 11:53

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
When it comes to fame,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:54 - 11:56

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the constant media intrusion

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:57 - 11:58

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and the lack of privacy

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:58 - 12:01

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
make most famous people 
significantly less healthy.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:02 - 12:05

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It certainly doesn't keep them happier.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:06 - 12:09

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And as for working harder and harder,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:09 - 12:12

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
there is that truism
that nobody on their death bed

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:12 - 12:15

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
ever wished they had spent 
more time at the office.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:15 - 12:16

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Laughter)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:17 - 12:21

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Why is this so hard to get
and so easy to ignore?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:21 - 12:23

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, we're human.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:23 - 12:26

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What we'd really like is a quick fix,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:26 - 12:27

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
something we can get

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:27 - 12:30

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that'll make our lives good
and keep them that way.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:31 - 12:34

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Relationships are messy
and they're complicated

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:34 - 12:38

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and the hard work of tending
to family and friends,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:38 - 12:41

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it's not sexy or glamorous.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:41 - 12:44

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's also lifelong. It never ends.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:44 - 12:49

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The people in our 75-year study
who were the happiest in retirement

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
12:50 - 12:56

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
were the people who had actively worked
to replace workmates with new playmates.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
13:00 - 13:03

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Just like the millennials
in that recent survey,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
13:03 - 13:07

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
many of our men when they
were starting out as young adults

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
13:07 - 13:11

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
really believed that fame and wealth
and high achievement

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
13:11 - 13:15

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
were what they needed to go after
to have a good life.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
13:15 - 13:20

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But over and over, over these 75 years,
our study has shown

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
13:20 - 13:25

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that the people who fared the best were
the people who leaned in to relationships,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
13:25 - 13:29

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
with family, with friends, with community.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
13:30 - 13:32

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So what about you?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
13:32 - 13:36

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Let's say you're 25,
or you're 40, or you're 60.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
13:37 - 13:40

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What might leaning in
to relationships even look like?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
13:41 - 13:44

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, the possibilities
are practically endless.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
13:45 - 13:51

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It might be something as simple
as replacing screen time with people time

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
13:51 - 13:55

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or livening up a stale relationship
by doing something new together,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
13:56 - 13:58

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
long walks or date nights,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
13:59 - 14:04

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or reaching out to that family member
who you haven't spoken to in years,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
14:04 - 14:07

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
because those all-too-common family feuds

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
14:07 - 14:09

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
take a terrible toll

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
14:09 - 14:11

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
on the people who hold the grudges.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
14:13 - 14:17

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'd like to close with another quote
from Mark Twain.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
14:19 - 14:21

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
More than a century ago,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
14:21 - 14:24

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
he was looking back on his life,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
14:24 - 14:25

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and he wrote this:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
14:26 - 14:30

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"There isn't time, so brief is life,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
14:30 - 14:35

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for bickerings, apologies,
heartburnings, callings to account.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
14:36 - 14:39

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
There is only time for loving,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
14:39 - 14:43

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and but an instant,
so to speak, for that."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
14:44 - 14:49

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The good life is built
with good relationships.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
14:49 - 14:51

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And that's an idea worth spreading.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
14:51 - 14:52

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Thank you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
14:52 - 14:58

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Applause)