WEBVTT

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(Half bell)

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(Bell)

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Dear Thay,

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We have two different questions 
from friends who are asking about

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how to help very young people recognize 
the continuation with their father

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when they haven't had
any personal relationship with him?

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One person asks:

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'This summer in the children's program,
we had boys who cannot know their father,'

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'because they were born from 
artificial insemination.'

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'How can I help them to feel 
their father inside of them?'

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Another person asked in French:

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'How do you explain to a teenager 
the continuation of father to son'

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'when he has never been
recognized by his father'

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'since the time he was conceived.'

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There are people who have fathers
that are still alive,

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but they cannot 
connect with their fathers.

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Communication is blocked.

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And they don't want to be 
with their fathers.

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They are not interested in 
the person of their father.

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That is the truth, in many cases.

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But there are those who
have never seen their father,

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but who are capable of ...

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being in communication with their fathers,
thanks to the practice.

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They are helped to recognize 
the father in themselves.

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Your way of walking, your way of smiling, 
your way of acting, reacting,

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reflects very much the way of your father.

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And looking into yourself deeply,
you can recognize your father.

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You have traits of your father.

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And we can also help a person to do that:

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"Darling, you smile 
exactly like your father."

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"The way you reacted, is very much like
the way your father reacted."

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You can help a person like that.

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Especially when we talk about 
the positive characteristics of

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the father to the young man 
or the young woman.

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If you are a lady,
pregnant for the first time,

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and your baby is very small
inside of you.

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You have not yet seen
a picture of your baby.

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And yet you can talk to 
your baby with love.

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You already have love.
You can talk to your baby:

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"Darling, I know you are there,
I am so happy."

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You can practise the second mantra,

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(Laughs)

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and the first mantra:
"Darling, I am here for you."

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"Darling, I know you are there
and I am very happy."

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Both you and the future father can...

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talk to the embryo inside as a person.

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And love is very real.

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And talking can be very real also, 
full of love.

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So you don't need
an appearance to talk to.

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So even if we have not seen our father 
physically, we can talk to him.

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And the fact is that 
he is in every cell of your body.

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And you can smile to your father in
every cell of your body and say:

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"Daddy, I know you are there 
in every cell of my body."

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"And I know that..."

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"that my appearance has many things 
that are similar to your appearance."

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"I am your continuation."

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"And in the past ..."

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"you have transmitted to me
many good things,"

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"and maybe some things
that are not so positive."

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"I accept everything."

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"And with the practice of the Dharma,"

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"I can develop the positive elements 
that you have transmitted to me"

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"and I can transform the negative things
that you have transmitted to me."

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You can talk to your father like that.

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Because you have had a chance
to encounter the Buddhadharma,

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that is why you can do that.

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Develop the positive things and 
transform the negative things.

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And also...

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Loving kindness is born from that
kind of relationship, but also compassion.

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Compassion, because compassion 
can be born in your heart.

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If your father does not recognize you,
wants to ignore you,

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because he has 
a huge block of suffering in him,

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the seed of love in him has not had 
any chance to be watered.

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That is why he behaves like that.

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If someone knows how to water
that seed of love in him,

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that seed will have a chance to manifest.

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But so far, no one has helped him.

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So if you look in that way, 
you are not angry at your father anymore.

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And you know that there is 
a seed of love in your father.

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He might have been loving and shown 
his interest and his love to you

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but he did not have the chance.

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He did not encounter 
a Dharma brother, a Dharma sister

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who helped him to make 
that seed of love in him manifest.

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Everyone has that seed of love,
but his seed of love has not had a chance.

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So meditating like that,

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you accept your father
and you have compassion towards him.

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You have the chance to encounter
the Buddhadharma.

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You are able to water that seed in you,

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and you will be ... loving,
you will recognize your child,

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You will support your child,
you love your child.

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And if you succeed within yourself,

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you already have begun to transform 
your father inside of you.

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And having transformed 
the father inside of you,

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you have more chance to transform 
the father outside of you.

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Because the father outside 
is not the all of your father.

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He is inside of you.

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And you have the power,
the capacity, the chance

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to transform the father within.

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Your father in you
recognizes you and loves you.

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And that is your practice.

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And after having succeeded in that, 
you don't suffer anymore

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and you have more chance 
to help the father outside.

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(Half bell)

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(Bell)