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(Half bell)

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(Bell)

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Dear Thay,

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We have two different questions [br]from friends who are asking about

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how to help very young people recognize [br]the continuation with their father

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when they haven't had[br]any personal relationship with him?

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One person asks:

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'This summer in the children's program,[br]we had boys who cannot know their father,'

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'because they were born from [br]artificial insemination.'

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'How can I help them to feel [br]their father inside of them?'

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Another person asked in French:

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'How do you explain to a teenager [br]the continuation of father to son'

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'when he has never been[br]recognized by his father'

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'since the time he was conceived.'

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There are people who have fathers[br]that are still alive,

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but they cannot [br]connect with their fathers.

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Communication is blocked.

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And they don't want to be [br]with their fathers.

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They are not interested in [br]the person of their father.

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That is the truth, in many cases.

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But there are those who[br]have never seen their father,

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but who are capable of ...

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being in communication with their fathers,[br]thanks to the practice.

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They are helped to recognize [br]the father in themselves.

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Your way of walking, your way of smiling, [br]your way of acting, reacting,

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reflects very much the way of your father.

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And looking into yourself deeply,[br]you can recognize your father.

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You have traits of your father.

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And we can also help a person to do that:

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"Darling, you smile [br]exactly like your father."

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"The way you reacted, is very much like[br]the way your father reacted."

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You can help a person like that.

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Especially when we talk about [br]the positive characteristics of

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the father to the young man [br]or the young woman.

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If you are a lady,[br]pregnant for the first time,

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and your baby is very small[br]inside of you.

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You have not yet seen[br]a picture of your baby.

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And yet you can talk to [br]your baby with love.

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You already have love.[br]You can talk to your baby:

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"Darling, I know you are there,[br]I am so happy."

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You can practise the second mantra,

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(Laughs)

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and the first mantra:[br]"Darling, I am here for you."

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"Darling, I know you are there[br]and I am very happy."

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Both you and the future father can...

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talk to the embryo inside as a person.

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And love is very real.

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And talking can be very real also, [br]full of love.

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So you don't need[br]an appearance to talk to.

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So even if we have not seen our father [br]physically, we can talk to him.

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And the fact is that [br]he is in every cell of your body.

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And you can smile to your father in[br]every cell of your body and say:

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"Daddy, I know you are there [br]in every cell of my body."

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"And I know that..."

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"that my appearance has many things [br]that are similar to your appearance."

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"I am your continuation."

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"And in the past ..."

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"you have transmitted to me[br]many good things,"

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"and maybe some things[br]that are not so positive."

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"I accept everything."

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"And with the practice of the Dharma,"

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"I can develop the positive elements [br]that you have transmitted to me"

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"and I can transform the negative things[br]that you have transmitted to me."

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You can talk to your father like that.

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Because you have had a chance[br]to encounter the Buddhadharma,

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that is why you can do that.

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Develop the positive things and [br]transform the negative things.

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And also...

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Loving kindness is born from that[br]kind of relationship, but also compassion.

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Compassion, because compassion [br]can be born in your heart.

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If your father does not recognize you,[br]wants to ignore you,

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because he has [br]a huge block of suffering in him,

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the seed of love in him has not had [br]any chance to be watered.

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That is why he behaves like that.

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If someone knows how to water[br]that seed of love in him,

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that seed will have a chance to manifest.

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But so far, no one has helped him.

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So if you look in that way, [br]you are not angry at your father anymore.

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And you know that there is [br]a seed of love in your father.

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He might have been loving and shown [br]his interest and his love to you

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but he did not have the chance.

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He did not encounter [br]a Dharma brother, a Dharma sister

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who helped him to make [br]that seed of love in him manifest.

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Everyone has that seed of love,[br]but his seed of love has not had a chance.

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So meditating like that,

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you accept your father[br]and you have compassion towards him.

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You have the chance to encounter[br]the Buddhadharma.

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You are able to water that seed in you,

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and you will be ... loving,[br]you will recognize your child,

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You will support your child,[br]you love your child.

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And if you succeed within yourself,

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you already have begun to transform [br]your father inside of you.

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And having transformed [br]the father inside of you,

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you have more chance to transform [br]the father outside of you.

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Because the father outside [br]is not the all of your father.

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He is inside of you.

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And you have the power,[br]the capacity, the chance

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to transform the father within.

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Your father in you[br]recognizes you and loves you.

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And that is your practice.

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And after having succeeded in that, [br]you don't suffer anymore

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and you have more chance [br]to help the father outside.

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(Half bell)

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(Bell)