[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.84,0:00:02.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I used to think
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.21,0:00:04.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the whole purpose of life
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.12,0:00:06.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was pursuing happiness.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.55,0:00:10.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everyone said the path\Nto happiness was success,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.27,0:00:12.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I searched for that ideal job,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.79,0:00:14.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that perfect boyfriend,\Nthat beautiful apartment.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.30,0:00:20.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But instead of ever feeling fulfilled,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.02,0:00:23.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I felt anxious and adrift,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.30,0:00:24.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I wasn't alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.58,0:00:28.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My friends, they struggled with this too.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.01,0:00:31.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eventually I decided to go\Nto graduate school
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.60,0:00:37.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for positive psychology to learn\Nwhat truly makes people happy,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.09,0:00:41.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but what I discovered there\Nchanged my life.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.10,0:00:43.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The data showed that chasing happiness
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.38,0:00:46.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can make people unhappy,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.12,0:00:49.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what really struck me was this:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.16,0:00:51.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the suicide rate has been rising\Naround the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.67,0:00:55.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it recently reached\Na 30-year high in America.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.89,0:00:59.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even though life is getting\Nobjectively better
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.18,0:01:01.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by nearly every conceivable standard,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.25,0:01:03.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more people feel hopeless,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.48,0:01:06.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,depressed and alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.40,0:01:09.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's an emptiness\Ngnawing away at people,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.88,0:01:12.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you don't have to be\Nclinically depressed to feel it.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.49,0:01:15.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sooner or later, I think we all wonder,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.74,0:01:20.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is this all there is?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.03,0:01:22.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And according to the research,\Nwhat predicts this despair
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.54,0:01:24.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not a lack of happiness.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.35,0:01:26.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a lack of something else,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.97,0:01:31.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a lack of having meaning in life.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.09,0:01:33.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that raised some questions for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.49,0:01:37.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is there more to life than being happy?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.04,0:01:39.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what's the difference\Nbetween being happy
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.66,0:01:42.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and having meaning in life?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.58,0:01:45.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many psychologists define happiness
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.05,0:01:47.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a state of comfort and ease,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.50,0:01:50.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feeling good in the moment.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.17,0:01:52.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Meaning, though, is deeper.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.92,0:01:54.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The renowned psychologist\NMartin Seligman
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.72,0:01:59.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,says meaning comes from belonging to\Nand serving something beyond yourself,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.44,0:02:03.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and from developing the best within you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.44,0:02:06.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our culture is obsessed with happiness,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.51,0:02:10.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I came to see that seeking meaning\Nis the more fulfilling path,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.45,0:02:13.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the studies show that people\Nwho have meaning in life,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.42,0:02:14.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they're more resilient,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.84,0:02:17.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they do better in school and at work,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.46,0:02:19.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they even live longer.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.98,0:02:22.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this all made me wonder,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.17,0:02:25.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how can we each live more meaningfully?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.35,0:02:29.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To find out, I spent five years\Ninterviewing hundreds of people
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.76,0:02:33.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and reading through thousands\Nof pages of psychology,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.05,0:02:35.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,neuroscience and philosophy.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.37,0:02:37.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bringing it all together,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.32,0:02:39.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I found that there are what I call
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.89,0:02:42.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,four pillars of a meaningful life,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.54,0:02:45.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we can each create lives of meaning
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.00,0:02:49.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by building some or all\Nof these pillars in our lives.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.55,0:02:52.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first pillar is belonging.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.38,0:02:54.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Belonging comes\Nfrom being in relationships
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.91,0:02:57.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where you're valued\Nfor who you are intrinsically
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.56,0:02:59.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and where you value others as well,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.95,0:03:05.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but some groups and relationships\Ndeliver a cheap form of belonging.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.04,0:03:07.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're valued for what you believe,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.28,0:03:08.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for who you hate,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.41,0:03:10.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not for who you are.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.42,0:03:13.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,True belonging springs from love.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.39,0:03:16.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It lives in moments among individuals,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.48,0:03:19.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's a choice.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.09,0:03:20.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can choose to cultivate\Nbelonging with others.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.79,0:03:22.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's an example.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.19,0:03:25.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Each morning, my friend Jonathan\Nbuys a newspaper
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.87,0:03:28.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the same street vendor in New York.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.64,0:03:30.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They don't just conduct\Na transaction, though.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.68,0:03:32.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They take a moment to slow down,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.82,0:03:35.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,talk, and treat each other like humans.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.89,0:03:39.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But one time, Jonathan\Ndidn't have the right change,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.57,0:03:42.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the vendor said,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.36,0:03:44.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't worry about it."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.87,0:03:46.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But Jonathan insisted on paying,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.28,0:03:47.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so he went to the store
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.19,0:03:48.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and bought something he didn't need
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.09,0:03:49.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to make change.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.58,0:03:52.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But when he gave the money to the vendor,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.89,0:03:54.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the vendor drew back.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.100,0:03:56.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was hurt.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.87,0:03:58.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was trying to do something kind,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.75,0:04:01.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but Jonathan had rejected him.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.61,0:04:06.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think we all reject people in small ways\Nlike this without realizing it.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.46,0:04:07.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I do.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.52,0:04:10.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll walk by someone I know\Nand barely acknowledge them.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.64,0:04:13.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll check my phone\Nwhen someone's talking to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.68,0:04:15.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These acts devalue others.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.63,0:04:18.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They make them feel\Ninvisible and unworthy.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.87,0:04:21.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But when you lead with love,\Nyou create a bond
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.96,0:04:24.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that lifts each of you up.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.91,0:04:28.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For many people, belonging\Nis the most essential source of meaning,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.100,0:04:31.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,those bonds of family and friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.18,0:04:35.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For others, the key to meaning\Nis the second pillar: purpose.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.84,0:04:38.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, finding your purpose\Nis not the same thing
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.90,0:04:41.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as finding that job that makes you happy.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.52,0:04:45.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Purpose is less about what you want\Nthan about what you give.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.15,0:04:49.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A hospital custodian told me\Nher purpose is healing sick people.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.63,0:04:52.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many parents tell me,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.37,0:04:53.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"My purpose is raising my children."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.77,0:04:56.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The key to purpose is using your strengths
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.20,0:04:58.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to serve others.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.20,0:05:01.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of course, for many of us,\Nthat happens through work.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.91,0:05:05.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's how we contribute and feel needed.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.59,0:05:08.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that also means that issues\Nlike disengagement at work,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.100,0:05:10.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unemployment,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.43,0:05:12.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,low labor force participation,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.68,0:05:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these aren't just economic problems,\Nthey're existential ones too.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.00,0:05:19.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Without something worthwhile to do,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.29,0:05:21.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people flounder.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.67,0:05:24.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of course, you don't have\Nto find purpose at work,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.41,0:05:27.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but purpose gives you\Nsomething to live for,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.33,0:05:30.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some why that drives you forward.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.48,0:05:34.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The third pillar of meaning\Nis also about stepping beyond yourself,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.12,0:05:36.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but in a completely different way:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.42,0:05:38.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,transcendance.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.13,0:05:41.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Transcendent states are those rare moments\Nwhen you're lifted above
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.41,0:05:43.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the hustle and bustle of daily life,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.93,0:05:45.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your sense of self fades away,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.94,0:05:49.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you feel connected\Nto a higher reality.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.14,0:05:53.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For one person I talked to,\Ntranscendence came from seeing art.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.18,0:05:55.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For another person, it was at church.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.62,0:05:57.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For me, I'm a writer,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.47,0:05:59.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it happens through writing.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.24,0:06:01.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes I get so in the zone
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.37,0:06:04.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I lose all sense of time and place.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.76,0:06:08.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And these transcendent\Nexperiences can change you.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.09,0:06:12.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One study had students look up\Nat 200-feet tall eucalyptus trees
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.63,0:06:14.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for one minute,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.42,0:06:16.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but afterwards they felt\Nless self-centered
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.27,0:06:21.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they even behaved more generously\Nwhen given the chance to help someone.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.70,0:06:26.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Belonging, purpose, transcendence.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.09,0:06:28.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, the fourth pillar of meaning,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.93,0:06:31.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've found, tends to surprise people.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.64,0:06:34.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The fourth pillar is storytelling,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.33,0:06:37.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the story you tell yourself\Nabout yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:37.91,0:06:41.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Creating a narrative from the events\Nof your life brings clarity.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.90,0:06:45.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It helps you understand\Nhow you became you.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.96,0:06:48.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But we don't always realize\Nthat we're the authors of our stories
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.73,0:06:51.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and can change the way we're telling them.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.13,0:06:53.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your life isn't just a list of events.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.68,0:06:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can edit, interpret,\Nand retell your story
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.96,0:06:59.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even as you're constrained by the facts.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.88,0:07:02.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I met a young man named Emeka
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.59,0:07:04.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who'd been paralyzed playing football.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.92,0:07:07.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After his injury, Emeka told himself,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.62,0:07:10.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"My life was great playing football,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.34,0:07:13.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but now look at me."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.72,0:07:16.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People who tell stories like this --
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.32,0:07:19.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"My life was good. Now it's bad." --
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.05,0:07:21.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they tend to be more\Nanxious and depressed.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.90,0:07:24.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that was Emeka for a while.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.65,0:07:28.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But with time, he started\Nto weave a different story.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.60,0:07:30.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His new story was,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.35,0:07:33.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Before my injury,\Nmy life was purposeless.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.76,0:07:36.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I partied a lot and was\Na pretty selfish guy.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.87,0:07:41.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But my injury made me realize\NI could be a better man."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.30,0:07:45.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That edit to his story\Nchanged Emeka's life.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.21,0:07:47.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After telling the new story to himself,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.42,0:07:49.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Emeka started mentoring kids,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.69,0:07:51.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he discovered what his purpose was:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.84,0:07:54.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,serving others.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.10,0:07:57.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The psychologist Dan McAdams\Ncalls this a redemptIve story,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.62,0:08:00.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where the bad is redeemed by the good.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.50,0:08:02.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People leading meaningful\Nlives, he's found,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.83,0:08:04.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they tend to tell stories\Nabout their lives
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.65,0:08:08.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,defined by redemption, growth and love.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.57,0:08:11.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what makes people\Nchange their stories?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:11.52,0:08:13.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some people get help from a therapist,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.96,0:08:15.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you can do it on your own too
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.68,0:08:18.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just by reflecting\Non your life thoughtfully,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.46,0:08:20.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how your defining experiences shaped you,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.50,0:08:22.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what you lost, what you gained.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:22.80,0:08:24.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what Emeka did.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.92,0:08:27.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You won't change your story overnight.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.25,0:08:29.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It could take years and be painful.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.61,0:08:33.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After all, we've all suffered,\Nand we all struggle.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.07,0:08:37.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But embracing those painful memories\Ncan lead to new insights and wisdom,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.43,0:08:41.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to finding that good that sustains you.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.68,0:08:47.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Belonging, purpose,\Ntranscendence, storytelling:
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.91,0:08:51.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,those are the four pillars of meaning.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.38,0:08:54.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was younger,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.18,0:08:57.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was lucky enough to be surrounded\Nby all of the pillars.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.56,0:09:00.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My parents ran a Sufi meeting house
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.27,0:09:02.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from our home in Montreal.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.80,0:09:07.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sufism is a spiritual practice\Nassociated with the Whirling Dervishes
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.30,0:09:09.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the poet Rumi.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.53,0:09:12.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Twice a week, Sufis would come to our home
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.13,0:09:16.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to meditate, drink Persian tea,\Nand share stories.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.21,0:09:21.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Their practice also involved serving\Nall of creation through small acts of love,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.21,0:09:24.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which meant being kind\Neven when people wronged you.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.58,0:09:26.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it gave them a purpose,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.15,0:09:29.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to reign in the ego.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.11,0:09:31.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eventually, I left home for college
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.63,0:09:35.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and without the daily grounding\Nof Sufism in my life,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.80,0:09:37.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I felt unmoored
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.18,0:09:40.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I started searching for those things\Nthat make life worth living.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.68,0:09:43.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what set me on this journey.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.13,0:09:46.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Looking back, I now recognize\Nthat the Sufi house
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.03,0:09:48.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had a real culture of meaning.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.39,0:09:50.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The pillars were part of the architecture,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.74,0:09:54.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the presence of the pillars\Nhelped us all live more deeply.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.41,0:09:56.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of course, the same principle applies
Dialogue: 0,0:09:56.76,0:09:59.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in other strong communities as well,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.63,0:10:01.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,good ones and bad ones.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.68,0:10:03.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gangs, cults:
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.49,0:10:07.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these are cultures of meaning\Nthat use the pillars and give people
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.44,0:10:10.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something to live and die for,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.05,0:10:12.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that's exactly why we as a society
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.71,0:10:15.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,must offer better alternatives.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.07,0:10:17.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We need to build these pillars\Nwithin our families
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.80,0:10:22.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and our institutions to help people\Nbecome their best selves.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.48,0:10:25.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But living a meaningful life takes work.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.60,0:10:27.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's an ongoing process.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.20,0:10:29.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As each day goes by,\Nwe're constantly creating our lives,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:29.24,0:10:32.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,adding to our story,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.77,0:10:36.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and sometimes we can get off track.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.36,0:10:38.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whenever that happens to me,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.92,0:10:42.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember a powerful experience\NI had with my father.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.61,0:10:46.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Several months after\NI graduated from college,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.49,0:10:51.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my dad had a massive heart attack\Nthat should have killed him.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.20,0:10:54.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He survived, and when I asked him\Nwhat was going through his mind
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.23,0:10:56.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as he faced death,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.02,0:10:58.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he said all he could think about\Nwas needing to live
Dialogue: 0,0:10:58.62,0:11:01.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so he could be there\Nfor my brother and me,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.51,0:11:04.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this gave him the will\Nto fight for life.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.30,0:11:07.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When he went under anesthesia\Nfor emergency surgery,\N
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.25,0:11:09.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of counting backwards from 10,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.74,0:11:13.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he repeated our names like a mantra.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:13.68,0:11:17.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He wanted our names to be\Nthe last words he spoke on Earth
Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.85,0:11:20.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if he died.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.84,0:11:25.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My dad is a carpenter and a Sufi.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:25.18,0:11:26.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a humble life but a good life.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.96,0:11:30.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lying there facing death,\Nhe had a reason to live:
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.74,0:11:34.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,love.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.08,0:11:36.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His sense of belonging within his family,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.41,0:11:38.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,his purpose as a dad,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:38.24,0:11:41.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,his transcendent meditation,\Nrepeating our names,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:41.20,0:11:44.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these, he says, are the reasons\Nwhy he survived.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.00,0:11:47.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the story he tells himself.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.91,0:11:50.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the power of meaning.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.87,0:11:53.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Happiness comes and goes,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.59,0:11:55.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but when life is really good
Dialogue: 0,0:11:55.36,0:11:57.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when things are really bad,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:57.39,0:12:00.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,having meaning gives you\Nsomething to hold onto.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.46,0:12:01.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.71,0:12:05.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)