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Some people going outside some people coming inside

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Usually I try and make a quick estimate how many people go out and how many people come in

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The moment is I'm at a loss

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More people have gone out that come in

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Maybe my charisma is not working today. Maybe I spent it all in Hong Kong and Singapore

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He

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Okay, yes few more coming in but of course many people actually watch these talks on online

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So many people actually go overseas or watch you online

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Which is very wonderful that we can share all of these talks

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And online is much easier because if you're watching at home online if you don't like it you can always delete

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But here you're not allowed to delete me. You're stuck with me for the whole 45 minutes

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so

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here we go I

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Do have a fan oh

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It doesn't work

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Hey, hey

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Okay

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So

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These talks on a Friday night as I often say you don't try and plan them just let them happen

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And it's just know people say some things just

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Beforehand or the last hour or two and it's just an obvious topic which keeps coming up and up and up and up

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and the one today is you know the old one about stress I

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Don't know why people are stressed out

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We're stressing out about

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Can't you this is your weekend? You don't have to work I do

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That just come back for 11 days just working my butt off in Hong Kong

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I shouldn't have any but left after all the hard work I do

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But it's still there my nose to the grindstone. She know she should be flat by now and

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Always accepting all these offers

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Just say that as soon as you come back

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There you have to just don't get some physiotherapy on your arm because people always twisting my arm to do this and to do that

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but oh

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Come on relax

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Because a lot of times that you understand that you know you should be stressful

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The amount of work you do, but you don't have to be

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The stress has got nothing to do with how much work you have

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It does nothing to do with all the problems you have in your life. It's nothing to do with all of this

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It's not the world which is stressful

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It is the way we look at it

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This is a wonderful thing which you know a basic teaching and understanding you can learn

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It's not the world is out to get you

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It's just that sometimes. We don't understand and we react in a way, which is causes things to be worse

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so

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Instead of learning just to over react to life

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because that's what an

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inflammation and inflammation

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no either of the immune system or an inflammation because you have a wound and

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inflammation of your head because you know somebody said something you don't like or your

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Expectations don't be met or people keep shouting at you and criticizing you all of those things

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It's an overreaction to life

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So we learn

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Hopefully places by this just how number one to overcome stress

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lower your

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expectations

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Simple things

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when you go over to

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one of the places I was over in Hong Kong

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They're talking about how the children committing suicide. They're in these universities

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Because now this is next to China in Hong Kong and it's a very very demanding

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culture trying to get jobs trying to survive, and if you do think you live in a stressful environment in Perth

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This is my heaven

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Compared to the stresses, which people sometimes have to deal with in those countries

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At least we have space at least we have a beach many beaches you know in a place of like Perth

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But in some of these places or it's just really really tough

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Wow

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So first the voice because everybody wants, you know you have to succeed in life you have to get someone life

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You have to be somewhere in life

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That's what people think especially in the Chinese culture where your parental expectations are very high

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And you do have this idea of filial piety you just want to look after your parents

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But sometimes we don't know how to achieve that

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So I was just saying that some of the some of the experiences which I remembered growing up

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One of those experiences would haven't really mentioned that much all these memories keep coming back every now and again

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You know that's when I was about 11 years 10 or 11 years of age

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You know my primary school. I managed to get on the school football team

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and

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I was so proud of getting on the school football team playing on a Saturday morning, and when I told my dad

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I'm on the school football team. He said you are wonderful when you're playing Saturday mornings

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Is it aha I have to work on a Saturday morning, and if it it eleven-year-olds?

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You're so crestfallen when he got on

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The school's he was only at school football team primary school

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But you felt me something and yet dad couldn't come to see you. Oh, that was so disappointing, but he had work to do

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So you can imagine my delight?

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When you had already started playing the soccer game the kickoff had already happened, and I turned around and there was my father

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He was on the touchline cheering me on oh that meant so much to me

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And then I asked him after the game said how come you managed to come here? I thought you had to work

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And he said yes, I did have to work

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But I know he was always very sick, so I told my boss

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The doctor had asked me to have a series of injections every Saturday morning

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He lied he wasn't a very honest man, but he was so kind and

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I'll give him that

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You know he was putting his job at risk to see his son play football

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and

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That meant so much to me

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And that was the kindness he

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education which I got from him

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Disability to sacrifice because being with your family is so important but some of us think oh now

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We've got to get you a really good education

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and if and if you don't pass those exams

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Then you have tuition

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extra homework

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keep keep

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Pushing for the academic achievements and so you know we just do things all upside down

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Do you really need academic achievers to get anywhere in life look at me? I got lots of academic

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Achievements, and I haven't got anything in life. I live in a small cave I haven't got a house and got a car

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I don't have any holidays

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Honestly, I don't have holidays when I go to Hong Kong. It's teach teach teach work won't work

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I don't sort of you know have any any

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superannuation to worry about

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You know if I lost my job in the Buddhist light at West Australia. I'll be on the street. I've got

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No health insurance

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Got nothing

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except

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beautiful memories of a kind father

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kind friends

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Kind people kind monks kind kids

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Thank you and that is my inheritance

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And so sometimes when we wonder about the stresses in life we get stressed out because we're searching for the wrong things in life

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There we sometimes we should stop every day. What do anyone a

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little question like that

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Right now. What do you want in I?

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Want to be rich come on that's never gonna happen, and if you are rich

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That's not that is sometimes people saying oh

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I win the lottery then I can I can do this and go there I can pay off all my debts

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I can just you know what they say they say a compartment. You know that you've got powers

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I know you've got powers, so just know a few numbers. That's all I wanna

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palpable

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They sometimes they are for these things. I'm not gonna be really really careful

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Because I don't know what it is. I don't know why but sometimes when good lucks

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They forget to keep but it is this was of this blessing once a

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Friend of mine here. He said the friend of a friend one of the people who came here very often

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And he's moved out of Perth now. He said one of his friends was opening up a small business

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Can I come and bless the business for him and of course you know just a blessing is just just giving you extra energy?

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You know making you feel good

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Just like you know the your honor the grounds of the football stadium or the cricket pitch and you cheer on your team

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Just my father cheered me on when I was playing soccer that meant a lot to me that made lifted up my spirit

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So I decided to go and chant for this business

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But you know I do get very busy sometimes and sometimes

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I forget to ask what type of business is it and this was a lottery store I

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Won't say which which

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shopping center this was in but I went there just opening out first time and I

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Really gave it a big full blessing

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ajahn brahm superpower

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And it was only about a year later two years later. I

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read in the West Australian Saturday edition clue to get the Saturday paper here to find out what's going on and

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There was a big article about this

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the most

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successful lottery outlet in Australia

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And I realized oh my goodness the one that I blessed I

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better not bless anymore

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mother

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But when people do get rich, what do you do with the wealth? It's just a

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Lot of times you know that wealth

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destroys your happiness

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it doesn't actually just make you more happy I

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Have lived I have visited. It's part of my job, and if an interesting life is a monk

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Sometimes you go and see these incredibly wealthy people politicians

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CEOs well the last time I went was in Hong Kong go to LinkedIn so now I've been to LinkedIn Facebook

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Google what else is there must be a few others, which I'm supposed to do sorry Twitter. Yeah

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Isn't Twitter part of I know that?

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Donald Trump uses my Twitter a lot too much, but you know it is treatable

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Okay very good

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Bad jokes walk because

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It's stupid

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but anyway

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Let's go to all these places meet always interesting people and what happens

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Is sometimes some of these people and mega wealthy?

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Billionaires

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you know once I was I was at Parliament House in in Canberra a

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state dinner with Queen Elizabeth the second Wow

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And I went to the toilet like you have to do in the men's toilet in the urinal next to me

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Was Lachlan Murdoch?

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And I thought oh, I should have bought a donation envelope for the Buddha Society of Western stupid yeah

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But I didn't have one with me, but anyway

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So

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You meet all this and there's one fellow. I just remember just going to give him in a blessing and his mansion

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It was over in Kuala Lumpur somewhere

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I won't say which guy this is I went to his mansion and there were guards with machine guns the guy

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You know he was a private person just a tycoon

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Guards at his gate huge

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Huge walls see CCTV ninety-three two seats CCC saw something TVs and

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guards everywhere

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And I thought this is like going in a prison

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And it was like a prison

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He reminded me of a prison, so these guys are very very wealthy actually lived in their own private prisons

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And they couldn't go anywhere by themselves

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Always had to have somebody take them around

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Bodyguards everywhere and so what type of life is that?

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And I just remember growing up small. What was it called it's a council flat?

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for really poor people in a part of London

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Which I never knew that this was so many migrants went to my little primary school

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No, there's Africans

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I was member luahn ever he was from to make us somewhere really nice friend

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There was people over from

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from Sri Lanka

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Can't remember this guy's name now, but all these are from Eastern Europe and from Asia

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All these are people I didn't know

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That in migrant areas were usually the poor areas

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But they were my friends

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and

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My best friend it was a son of a milkman

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So it's not exactly the highest-paid job in the world but he was my friend my mate

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I just remembered to spending so many times. You know enjoying each other's playing soccer

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But I also remembered my little apartment

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You know this I'm not quite sure how you can how you can define this?

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but and it was only just

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Three or four rooms really small and I had to live in the same bedroom with my brother

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And sometimes my parents would actually do have one of these

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Make your beds

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It was just that latter was the sulfur which converted into a badass only place. They could really sleep very very small

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But it was small

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It was so wonderful

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Because I had to go up with my brother. I had to get on with him

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Yeah, we would argue we would fight

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But one thing I had learned is how to love somebody

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how to the other thing I always remember was my parents

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they were just no ordinary people they would argue and

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Sometimes they would fight and sometimes they wouldn't speak to each other

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In such a small house that couldn't last that long and

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The kids were around as well. We'd start teasing white is speaking to daddy mummy come on mummy. You can say sorry

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And eventually they would make up

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they would hug, and they would kiss in front of my brother and I

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know such a special moment I

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Learned because it was such a small apartment. I learned that we do argue. We do have differences of opinion

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and as we seen things from a different angle, but

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Because we had no choice

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We're too poor to afford a lawyer

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So yeah, it's a makeup

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We wish from head

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But I saw them just kissing and hugging and saying sorry I learned such a wonderful teaching from that doesn't matter who's right and wrong

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Which is actually a no?

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We've got to live together so we kiss and make up and we enjoy each other's company, so small houses are really really important

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So one of the reasons we have problems and stress

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You know in a place like Perth our houses are too big?

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Simple thing put more people in the house

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Good then you learn how to get on together and have this beautiful

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Family people you can rely upon maybe you can talk with

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Know sometimes people I sit there Friday evening people talk about this. I talk about that

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I don't know really what you're talking about, but I pretend to so yeah really that happened Wow yeah, I know sometimes

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That's all people need just to be written know recognized and to be

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received some kindness

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some love and some respect

242
00:18:05,980 --> 00:18:08,819
and that's what you learn living in a small place, but

243
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:16,110
You notice again. I was reminded of this tale because I just sang over a had dinner

244
00:18:16,110 --> 00:18:18,629
I got lunch rather before 12 now

245
00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:25,379
And you know that I would do remember once that there must have been at nine or ten or eleven that my we were

246
00:18:26,050 --> 00:18:32,700
Legitimately poor because my father put a 1 pound note on this shelf above the coal fire

247
00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:35,459
They didn't have electric fires

248
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:42,360
just have coal now to keep you warm during the really freezing winters and

249
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:49,289
This mother was sitting down their kids were myself and my brother doing homework or something

250
00:18:49,290 --> 00:18:52,950
I don't know how this happened, but a gust of air

251
00:18:53,890 --> 00:18:58,560
Just took that one pound note and it fell into the fireplace

252
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,200
and started burning

253
00:19:01,330 --> 00:19:08,429
And my father just tried to get it out. He burned his hand and my mother's just started crying. Oh weeping

254
00:19:09,310 --> 00:19:11,310
That was so much for them

255
00:19:11,890 --> 00:19:15,120
So it also taught me now as a monk

256
00:19:15,970 --> 00:19:18,329
Sometimes I give my other monks a bit of a hard time

257
00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:20,160
No, you know. I've got to get a final

258
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:26,310
Okay, when this party at that project because I remember this how much money meant when I was really young so

259
00:19:28,060 --> 00:19:33,269
Wonderful thing to them, but he didn't need the money because head is beautiful love and it wasn't stressful

260
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:36,540
My father did have time

261
00:19:36,730 --> 00:19:38,849
to actually to watch his son playing soccer

262
00:19:39,550 --> 00:19:46,259
They did have time just to talk with you and to be with you that is what we're missing

263
00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:50,220
That's one of the reasons. We don't have what we do have too much stress in as well

264
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,280
Because we don't have each other

265
00:19:54,460 --> 00:20:02,219
We actually just divided big houses number one means all in different rooms

266
00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:10,199
How many people just share rooms these days even husbands and wives sometimes that they sleep in different bits

267
00:20:12,370 --> 00:20:15,780
Even they have different rooms sometimes different houses

268
00:20:17,169 --> 00:20:18,850
What's going on?

269
00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:20,559
and then

270
00:20:20,559 --> 00:20:24,989
Here you don't have anyone to argue with you don't have anyone to talk with either

271
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:31,319
So some of the reasons we have this stress over here is this and we're so divided and separated out

272
00:20:32,140 --> 00:20:38,669
And because we have big house and you have to work so hard to pay the bills and so because we pay some bills

273
00:20:38,950 --> 00:20:43,020
We don't have time to meet with one another this is a vicious cycle

274
00:20:44,169 --> 00:20:49,649
so much work needs to be done to pay bills pay rates pray this pray that and just

275
00:20:50,559 --> 00:20:55,199
For a big house where we don't see each other if we were living in the same house

276
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,289
We don't see each other because we're so busy even on a weekend

277
00:20:58,289 --> 00:21:03,089
What are you doing this weekend how much stuff have you got to do. Can you just chill out this weekend?

278
00:21:03,820 --> 00:21:05,820
No, why not?

279
00:21:05,830 --> 00:21:07,830
It's your weekend. You're not supposed to work

280
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:10,360
So

281
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:11,380
our

282
00:21:11,380 --> 00:21:12,460
lifestyle

283
00:21:12,460 --> 00:21:15,659
These days it's always doing stuff so

284
00:21:16,270 --> 00:21:20,159
much stuff there we get tired and stressed and

285
00:21:20,710 --> 00:21:24,360
We think we have to get stressed in order to relax

286
00:21:26,169 --> 00:21:33,869
Sometimes we work so hard so when this is done when I pay off the mortgage when my kids leave home

287
00:21:34,570 --> 00:21:36,570
When the work is done on a Friday

288
00:21:37,210 --> 00:21:43,169
Then when I pass my exams when I get the results from my my tests

289
00:21:43,539 --> 00:21:46,619
On Thursday, well what if it is?

290
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:48,460
well

291
00:21:48,460 --> 00:21:50,460
Then I'll be happy

292
00:21:50,650 --> 00:21:55,559
And I sometimes you really really wonder when don't let people ever relax

293
00:21:56,590 --> 00:21:59,159
This is I do travel around a lot

294
00:21:59,159 --> 00:22:06,299
this is a saying which I often have just been to Hong Kong Kowloon Charton all over the place and

295
00:22:06,610 --> 00:22:09,329
Singapore as well. These are supposed to be major

296
00:22:09,940 --> 00:22:15,690
cities, but in all these places you go, and see it's very rare to see a human being

297
00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:23,220
All you ever see is human goings and doings never actually being here and enjoying this moment a

298
00:22:23,799 --> 00:22:26,549
Weekend just more work on a different type of work

299
00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:30,629
So if you really want to overcome the stress of your life

300
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,840
You have to realize that

301
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:42,390
You're addicted to stress you're afraid of not doing stress you think that maybe if you relaxed everything will go wrong in your life

302
00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:47,339
You know it doesn't go wrong. You just you don't have heart attacks

303
00:22:48,070 --> 00:22:53,189
It doesn't go wrong. It just means you have more time with the people you love and care for it

304
00:22:53,710 --> 00:22:57,240
Doesn't go wrong. Yes other people think you're really weird

305
00:22:58,090 --> 00:23:01,439
Why is it? You've got two weeks lot of dangers staying at home?

306
00:23:02,649 --> 00:23:04,979
Where are you going on the long weekend?

307
00:23:05,590 --> 00:23:07,480
Nowhere I'm just being here

308
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:13,740
You're crazy go down to Margaret River go down to Bunbury go down a bodhinyana monastery

309
00:23:14,289 --> 00:23:17,398
See the the monks a sa atm

310
00:23:18,010 --> 00:23:20,010
We're doing that for

311
00:23:20,710 --> 00:23:23,100
If you really want to see it with video it for you

312
00:23:23,620 --> 00:23:28,319
So you can see it home. I can't understand where people travel about people ask me

313
00:23:28,899 --> 00:23:35,699
There's mostly actually the Thai people for they're here. No ok good. They asked me before I left. They said you're going to Hong Kong

314
00:23:36,460 --> 00:23:38,460
We're going to Hong Kong for you going shopping

315
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,319
Shopping or do you want to go shopping for?

316
00:23:46,249 --> 00:23:48,249
Do you like going shopping

317
00:23:48,409 --> 00:23:49,789
Why?

318
00:23:49,789 --> 00:23:56,289
Not number one. I'm a monk number two. I'm a man so shopping to me. It's just I just know just weird

319
00:24:01,460 --> 00:24:03,549
But you know you have to go through these airports

320
00:24:03,649 --> 00:24:08,709
And then the airport just shopping centers these days you can't bypass them

321
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:15,819
Anyway all these things which I remember just walking just in Hong Kong and all the shops which I saw we're either

322
00:24:16,909 --> 00:24:20,739
Closed shop mostly women's clothes shoe shops or food

323
00:24:21,860 --> 00:24:24,039
And I said well, where's the monks shops?

324
00:24:25,159 --> 00:24:28,148
you know can I get a verse such robe a

325
00:24:33,259 --> 00:24:35,259
Gucci beanie

326
00:24:37,970 --> 00:24:39,970
They didn't have any mug shops there

327
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,960
How many clothes you need a

328
00:24:45,019 --> 00:24:46,909
nice thing of

329
00:24:46,909 --> 00:24:50,859
Living a simple life. It just great being a simple mark

330
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:55,480
Just this is actually just this is my baggage

331
00:24:56,690 --> 00:24:58,669
Thank you. It's about what?

332
00:24:58,669 --> 00:25:03,609
About taken out I don't know if I'm taken up about this every time I come back to Perth Airport is brilliant

333
00:25:04,879 --> 00:25:06,860
The guys know me there

334
00:25:06,860 --> 00:25:08,450
No, they call me, Abba

335
00:25:08,450 --> 00:25:14,950
So the guy this afternoon said Abba you you're back again. He said you should have your own aircraft by now

336
00:25:14,950 --> 00:25:16,700
He told me this afternoon

337
00:25:16,700 --> 00:25:18,399
And I said if I had you'd be out of a job

338
00:25:18,399 --> 00:25:22,479
He said oh yes true, so I offered go they just walk the stroll through

339
00:25:23,450 --> 00:25:25,629
You know because you haven't got enough to search

340
00:25:28,460 --> 00:25:32,379
So its simplicity is a way to overcome stress

341
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:39,189
But why do we have so much stuff just in case we worry so much about the future what might happen

342
00:25:41,419 --> 00:25:44,378
Yeah, what might happen you don't have to worry about anything

343
00:25:45,950 --> 00:25:51,460
Because again, I think last two weeks ago and especially just last week because

344
00:25:53,540 --> 00:25:55,599
Chinese year of the dock

345
00:25:57,050 --> 00:26:00,519
So I have to quote the great American philosopher

346
00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:04,120
Snoopy

347
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:08,769
And it's true mean these little animals that that sort of stuff you get from

348
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:12,700
The cartoons are just simple

349
00:26:13,550 --> 00:26:19,719
Profound and everybody could understand it you just want you know just just read Nietzsche ki

350
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:25,150
Or Wittgenstein and it just screws up your head. They're always up to after a while, but anyway

351
00:26:25,700 --> 00:26:27,350
Snoopy it's

352
00:26:27,350 --> 00:26:35,140
Really profound and easy to understand one of the things he said which I was talking about which he said that

353
00:26:35,870 --> 00:26:37,870
worrying about things

354
00:26:38,300 --> 00:26:40,300
Never stops bad things happening

355
00:26:41,210 --> 00:26:47,050
She worried about you. Don't worry about it bad things happen anyway, but it stops you enjoying the present

356
00:26:48,290 --> 00:26:50,889
What are you worrying about thing? You're destroying your weekend

357
00:26:51,559 --> 00:26:53,559
destroying being here

358
00:26:53,570 --> 00:26:55,520
So it's not

359
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,579
The fact you've got lots of things to worry about

360
00:26:59,210 --> 00:27:04,960
Other people do the worrying for you. Why not that's what the government is for to do the worrying

361
00:27:07,100 --> 00:27:10,329
Your job is just to do is enjoy. That's what you pay your taxes for

362
00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:13,370
so

363
00:27:13,370 --> 00:27:15,370
You refuse

364
00:27:15,890 --> 00:27:18,009
to worry on the weekend or

365
00:27:18,950 --> 00:27:24,160
If you'd have a weekend jobs then no don't worry on Monday or Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday, whatever

366
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,609
So you know that reminds me with that story?

367
00:27:28,850 --> 00:27:34,900
These things come up monks know all these stories and listen if you complain about

368
00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:42,729
Me telling the same stories over and over and over again. I have to hear them more than anybody

369
00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:52,240
So I know these stories, but anyway, so this is the the the migrant who came to Australia

370
00:27:53,059 --> 00:27:57,189
And even though he was well educated had a lots of

371
00:27:57,830 --> 00:28:02,050
Qualifications and when you come to a place like Australia your qualifications don't mean anything

372
00:28:04,070 --> 00:28:06,070
And I'm bit worried about that

373
00:28:06,550 --> 00:28:08,579
Because you know now you have to have a qualification

374
00:28:09,429 --> 00:28:11,429
to teach mindfulness you

375
00:28:12,070 --> 00:28:13,840
Got to be accredited

376
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,530
You got to go to a course and get a certificate

377
00:28:17,590 --> 00:28:24,689
So it's only a matter of time when I won't be allowed to teach meditation because I haven't gone through a course

378
00:28:25,179 --> 00:28:28,889
I've taught the people who teach the courses, but I haven't done the course myself

379
00:28:33,010 --> 00:28:35,010
It's really weird this would be

380
00:28:36,790 --> 00:28:38,790
This actually happened I remember

381
00:28:39,340 --> 00:28:42,390
It's not here this evening yeah. He was the the chief

382
00:28:42,970 --> 00:28:46,170
Psychiatrist some years ago over. It's great as hospital

383
00:28:46,170 --> 00:28:50,999
You know one of our members here, and he told me this story that I've in Sydney University

384
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:56,160
I think he was not the same as Western Australia Western Australia is we're smart. I've been Sydney's absolutely

385
00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:02,369
Ridiculous, they had this teacher this expert this professor of psychiatry

386
00:29:03,010 --> 00:29:06,689
Coming over to Sydney University to lecture for one year

387
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,480
But because he was teaching

388
00:29:10,420 --> 00:29:15,179
Psychiatry he had to be a member of the Royal College of Psychiatrists

389
00:29:16,390 --> 00:29:18,390
Which means that his?

390
00:29:19,210 --> 00:29:22,020
qualifications in the United States counted for nothing

391
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:28,770
He had to do an exam here in Sydney in Australia, so he could teach

392
00:29:30,790 --> 00:29:36,449
And they gave him two books to study on which they would test him

393
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:43,229
And when they gave him this two books the first one he told his lamina. What's this? He said well

394
00:29:43,230 --> 00:29:45,300
You've got to study it whose name is on that

395
00:29:45,820 --> 00:29:48,000
It's me I wrote that book

396
00:29:50,500 --> 00:29:56,520
He still had to study it and pass it I think he passed the exam on his own book that's gonna happen to me

397
00:29:56,520 --> 00:30:01,979
I'm sure to be able to teach in this joint you're gonna have to mindfulness bliss and Beyond and stuff like that open the door

398
00:30:01,980 --> 00:30:05,670
Of your heart, they're gonna. Give me a test on it. I wrote the Philippian thing, but anyway

399
00:30:05,670 --> 00:30:08,999
That's the stupidity of our world these days, but anyway. Let's go back to the

400
00:30:09,550 --> 00:30:10,750
stressing out

401
00:30:10,750 --> 00:30:14,669
but just all these things that you know that so we

402
00:30:15,370 --> 00:30:20,449
The future we can't plan and the past oh come on

403
00:30:21,330 --> 00:30:25,370
Why do we linger on the process what causes our stress?

404
00:30:27,570 --> 00:30:29,309
Remember stress

405
00:30:29,309 --> 00:30:31,668
Is like the guitar string?

406
00:30:32,580 --> 00:30:38,419
Pull on both directions to have stress. You've got to have something pulling it

407
00:30:39,539 --> 00:30:41,539
if you let go

408
00:30:42,210 --> 00:30:43,740
Nothing is pulling

409
00:30:43,740 --> 00:30:46,760
Things relax, and there's no stress anymore

410
00:30:47,429 --> 00:30:49,519
So what actually is pulling you?

411
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,160
making you feel stressed

412
00:30:53,159 --> 00:30:55,159
It's fear

413
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:58,400
Mostly of the future

414
00:30:59,070 --> 00:31:01,070
What might happen?

415
00:31:01,860 --> 00:31:04,010
What will people think of me?

416
00:31:05,309 --> 00:31:11,658
That's one of the great experiences. I had coming to Australia as a monk

417
00:31:12,900 --> 00:31:14,900
Was how many years ago now?

418
00:31:15,299 --> 00:31:20,538
33 34 years ago and 34 years ago now coming to Australia. It was actually waste that time

419
00:31:21,059 --> 00:31:26,569
So norm is coming out of that time my 34th anniversary here in Australia when you first came here

420
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:32,240
No people took one look at you. They'd never seen a Buddhist monk in the streets

421
00:31:33,090 --> 00:31:35,929
So sometimes they wanted to know what you're wearing that for

422
00:31:36,750 --> 00:31:41,539
But I still remember the first place before we got this place here in no no Maura

423
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:49,819
We had a little house in for Magnolia Street in North Perth and I was working so hard

424
00:31:50,190 --> 00:31:56,990
We would work over in Bodeen Jana monastery serpentine five days a week and on the weekend. We go to this little house

425
00:31:57,510 --> 00:32:00,439
which was you could actually sleep there and

426
00:32:01,049 --> 00:32:03,049
You could have a hot shower

427
00:32:03,809 --> 00:32:09,619
Over there in banja animosity you get buckets and throw them over from the dam

428
00:32:09,900 --> 00:32:12,229
Throw them over yourself in the evening to wash

429
00:32:13,020 --> 00:32:15,020
And it was so cold

430
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:19,880
The wind was blowing the world it was chilly

431
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,299
And you you really knew how to wash away quickly

432
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,299
for anyhow on the weekend on

433
00:32:26,940 --> 00:32:29,840
Sunday night on Monday morning we pack up water

434
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:33,950
We got all of the stuff to take down to the serpentine the monastery where we built it

435
00:32:33,950 --> 00:32:39,049
And I still remember just packing up on Sunday afternoon evening

436
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:44,029
Putting out this beacon of the old combi van savvy couple years all those were really really good

437
00:32:44,100 --> 00:32:46,399
We packed up so much stuff in that

438
00:32:47,070 --> 00:32:50,689
Compound I remember going to the old wood yard at Jared oh

439
00:32:51,210 --> 00:32:56,149
You have a big timber yard there. We get the timber toss snow fresh sawn

440
00:32:56,700 --> 00:33:02,629
We go around the back way the long way around because our little van was so

441
00:33:03,510 --> 00:33:05,340
overloaded right

442
00:33:05,340 --> 00:33:08,090
And the inside there absolutely jam-packed

443
00:33:08,220 --> 00:33:15,559
On the roof as well really high if ever you seen I remember seeing on the only the rows I think in Indonesia

444
00:33:15,690 --> 00:33:17,690
the mr. Bean

445
00:33:17,790 --> 00:33:22,850
sketch we had a little carnie packed everything really up the top there that was like us I

446
00:33:24,150 --> 00:33:31,280
Remember after we packed all this in our combi van the head of the timber mill said you guys must do a lot of pray?

447
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,710
To get that back to where you belong

448
00:33:35,220 --> 00:33:38,809
And it was true, but anyway when we were packing up in North curse

449
00:33:39,330 --> 00:33:43,189
This little 14 year old girl came out roughly about 14

450
00:33:43,380 --> 00:33:48,920
She was visiting her grandma in the house next door and she came up and looked at me with

451
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:54,860
All the disgust only a teenage girl can actually give

452
00:33:55,470 --> 00:33:57,470
She had her hands on her hips

453
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:00,049
and look me up and down I

454
00:34:00,690 --> 00:34:08,539
Can't do disgust, but you know really yeah, and he said looked at me and said you're dressed like a girl

455
00:34:09,570 --> 00:34:11,570
That's sick

456
00:34:14,190 --> 00:34:18,740
She was really trying to upset me because I can see her point you know you're wearing a skirt

457
00:34:19,590 --> 00:34:24,110
And a bald head, but girls don't wear board heads. I'm uh sort of beanie on or something, but anyway

458
00:34:24,900 --> 00:34:27,259
She was really disgusted authoress was so funny

459
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:33,920
So anyway, it is we were just know having tutors or the other time when I was visiting a cousin

460
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:42,410
Know that cousin eight. He came here to visit many years ago in stoke-on-trent. That's where he lived and so

461
00:34:43,169 --> 00:34:47,969
During their spending time with your loved ones with your friends, so instead of staying in here

462
00:34:47,970 --> 00:34:54,059
We meditate we went for a walk walk on a Sunday morning as a beautiful day walking down the streets

463
00:34:54,609 --> 00:35:01,259
And I don't know what it is about me must have some sort of charisma, but people were supporting at me and smiling and laughing

464
00:35:02,380 --> 00:35:06,540
And I just making people laugh as a great as a great skill

465
00:35:07,630 --> 00:35:11,430
But it was actually more people pointing and laughing at me than usual

466
00:35:11,980 --> 00:35:15,270
And so I didn't really want to know what was going on well

467
00:35:15,270 --> 00:35:18,989
You know one badly dressed or something or but no

468
00:35:18,990 --> 00:35:22,679
They were just laughing at me all the time and then when we turned a corner

469
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:27,629
I found out why there's this big billboard a big sight the circus was in town

470
00:35:28,750 --> 00:35:31,229
And they thought I must have been one of the clowns

471
00:35:34,630 --> 00:35:37,890
And I did what make people happy is fine by me

472
00:35:38,410 --> 00:35:43,020
So anyway just sometimes what do people think of you

473
00:35:44,950 --> 00:35:46,950
Do you really care what?

474
00:35:47,829 --> 00:35:49,829
Is your boss think of you

475
00:35:50,470 --> 00:35:55,980
What is your your friends think of you and sometimes? We just so?

476
00:35:56,740 --> 00:35:58,740
afraid of our

477
00:35:59,230 --> 00:36:04,919
Reputation what other people think of us that we have to be fashionable we have to have good clothes

478
00:36:05,319 --> 00:36:07,529
We have to just know fit in

479
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:15,720
As another little memory of mine when I was really into rock music when I was young and used to have these big

480
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:19,139
concerts remember going to the the Isle of Wight

481
00:36:19,900 --> 00:36:21,900
rock festival

482
00:36:22,299 --> 00:36:23,740
1970

483
00:36:23,740 --> 00:36:30,599
So the famous rock festival and I had to be cool, so I had green velvet jeans

484
00:36:32,890 --> 00:36:39,329
When I went down there I found I thought I was being rebellious, I thought I was being individual

485
00:36:39,329 --> 00:36:42,539
I thought I was just just rebelling

486
00:36:43,540 --> 00:36:46,649
against convention setting a new style

487
00:36:47,290 --> 00:36:53,549
And when I went down there I found thousands of other people had green velvet jeans

488
00:36:55,450 --> 00:36:58,139
It is another type of uniform

489
00:36:58,989 --> 00:37:00,130
so

490
00:37:00,130 --> 00:37:02,519
Instead of worrying what other people think of you

491
00:37:03,369 --> 00:37:05,369
You can actually be free of that

492
00:37:05,799 --> 00:37:09,329
Be someone who is at peace with yourself

493
00:37:10,720 --> 00:37:14,309
too much that people are worried about

494
00:37:15,670 --> 00:37:17,670
their appearances

495
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:20,430
Or again, how they come across to other people?

496
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,640
the goodness sake what other people like

497
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:26,640
Is not your hairstyle

498
00:37:27,039 --> 00:37:32,728
You know this used to be really weird and now it's really common, so how many people copy monks

499
00:37:34,390 --> 00:37:36,249
Where no

500
00:37:36,249 --> 00:37:38,519
We some of us have patches

501
00:37:38,829 --> 00:37:44,939
You know you've got patches in your robe haven't you there are lots of crutches in Israel you see we've really fashionable

502
00:37:47,650 --> 00:37:50,639
Fashion leaders trendsetters, but anyway

503
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:56,519
Anyway, it is because we don't really care or worry what other people think of us we can relax

504
00:37:56,519 --> 00:38:00,419
We should be happy we can be at peace and that is why people

505
00:38:00,969 --> 00:38:02,969
like hear

506
00:38:03,279 --> 00:38:08,639
What people like to to hang around with is that people are relaxed?

507
00:38:08,950 --> 00:38:12,210
Confident at peace with themselves at ease with themselves

508
00:38:13,180 --> 00:38:18,089
So if you want to be fashionable if you're gonna be attractive he one of people that think well of you

509
00:38:19,420 --> 00:38:21,420
relax

510
00:38:21,460 --> 00:38:23,759
Be confident smile more

511
00:38:24,819 --> 00:38:26,140
so

512
00:38:26,140 --> 00:38:28,829
Such a simple teaching even last night

513
00:38:29,769 --> 00:38:32,399
Somebody was saying she's heard me in Singapore

514
00:38:32,559 --> 00:38:39,419
They heard me giving all these talks, but still she's anxious and depressed and sometimes that she sleeps in in the morning

515
00:38:40,180 --> 00:38:42,989
Because she's afraid of getting out of bed and going to work

516
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:50,609
It's so easy solution just because is simple does not mean it doesn't work

517
00:38:52,150 --> 00:38:54,150
Simple powerful

518
00:38:55,029 --> 00:38:58,829
Because this is what I was taught for two years by a meditation teacher when I was still a student

519
00:38:59,589 --> 00:39:02,129
Said when you get up in the morning, what do you do?

520
00:39:02,739 --> 00:39:09,659
And go to toilet great. Is there a mirror in your toilet of course there's a mirror in the toilet and my teacher?

521
00:39:09,730 --> 00:39:13,139
Toby I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and

522
00:39:13,750 --> 00:39:15,750
smile at yourself

523
00:39:16,210 --> 00:39:22,619
And I told my teacher get real. I'm a student. You know you look at teenagers or 20 year olds

524
00:39:22,750 --> 00:39:24,750
What do they look like in the morning?

525
00:39:25,090 --> 00:39:27,240
Really grumpy miserable me

526
00:39:28,240 --> 00:39:33,030
Especially they've been drinking alcohol staying up late at night like I used to do it no Stace

527
00:39:33,030 --> 00:39:38,189
I said sir if I looked at myself in the mirror in the morning first thing. I probably scream

528
00:39:40,510 --> 00:39:42,629
And he said smart yourself

529
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:47,910
Impossible and that's when he told me things this great teacher

530
00:39:49,030 --> 00:39:51,030
simple

531
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,309
Two fingers and push up

532
00:39:54,070 --> 00:39:56,070
That's what he taught me

533
00:39:56,110 --> 00:39:58,110
So I did that for two years

534
00:39:58,630 --> 00:40:01,410
Two years I followed that and every morning

535
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,919
You got up there and looked at the mirror

536
00:40:05,860 --> 00:40:09,540
Impart to fingers up and this saw this stupid young man

537
00:40:10,060 --> 00:40:17,340
Smiling making a face in the mirror and when you when you do that. You know if I make a face. Yeah, it's working

538
00:40:17,340 --> 00:40:18,850
You're smarting now

539
00:40:18,850 --> 00:40:25,260
You do that to yourself everybody don't need anybody and then after a while you smile smile smile. I started laughing at myself

540
00:40:25,330 --> 00:40:27,330
I laughed at myself

541
00:40:27,790 --> 00:40:29,790
every morning for two years

542
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,930
And this is kind of stuck now

543
00:40:37,180 --> 00:40:39,450
Which means that yay didn't feel good

544
00:40:39,550 --> 00:40:44,550
He felt tired bit of a hangover busy day social life

545
00:40:44,550 --> 00:40:49,379
But Isis Mart every morning that was incredible for making you healthy

546
00:40:51,130 --> 00:40:54,390
Incredible for attracting really hot girlfriends

547
00:40:55,420 --> 00:40:59,399
It was a lot people smiley it was great for passing exams

548
00:41:00,190 --> 00:41:05,190
It was even great. I learned this okay when I was playing sports

549
00:41:05,380 --> 00:41:07,920
I did actually play sport every now and again

550
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:14,819
I don't know why I did this actually because they had to know the in Cambridge have the boats the ACE I

551
00:41:15,700 --> 00:41:18,480
Never did the boat race that was just too ridiculous

552
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:22,889
You know you don't that was just too full on but disorderly racing

553
00:41:23,170 --> 00:41:27,960
And just me in the boat and a race in pulling the soil a long way and after a while

554
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:31,800
It was really hard, and I wasn't really in certain to getting fits

555
00:41:32,500 --> 00:41:36,510
You noticed it's a bit of fun, but as an exercise but not super fit

556
00:41:37,060 --> 00:41:43,799
So no what happened there was a little coach the coach was on his bicycle had a megaphone. He shouted out at me

557
00:41:44,290 --> 00:41:52,019
He said you're making an ugly face smile and when you're really struggling physically of course you do make ugly faces

558
00:41:53,500 --> 00:42:01,439
And I learned something great from that coach worthwhile all of that. You know doing the the training for rowing in an eight

559
00:42:02,410 --> 00:42:05,340
And what I learned that when you smile the?

560
00:42:06,250 --> 00:42:10,560
Or is so easy to pull I've got a boost of energy

561
00:42:11,530 --> 00:42:15,870
Paint has dissipated. I smiled and the oil had more energy and

562
00:42:16,900 --> 00:42:21,449
That was such an important at all teaching ask any psychologists that even doctors

563
00:42:21,450 --> 00:42:28,919
I don't know. How it works if you've got a really really hard walk your cycling. You're running. You're exercising. You're

564
00:42:29,650 --> 00:42:32,580
Working to snoo have a really important meeting smile

565
00:42:35,020 --> 00:42:39,449
And then your boss will not know what you're up to

566
00:42:41,130 --> 00:42:47,119
Smart over that he thinks damn him he knows something I don't what's the answer?

567
00:42:48,749 --> 00:42:55,189
That's my thing it's so important so easy that takes away your stress

568
00:42:57,359 --> 00:43:02,659
Even little things like doing exams and tests interviews you smile

569
00:43:04,470 --> 00:43:08,569
Because people like people who smile it if you're hiring somebody

570
00:43:09,269 --> 00:43:15,559
You're gonna employ somebody at work. Are you gonna employ someone who's just got a miserable face a sourpuss

571
00:43:16,259 --> 00:43:20,238
You've got enough of them back at home when you're at work you guys

572
00:43:21,210 --> 00:43:26,449
You as somebody is uplifting smartie and it changes a whole

573
00:43:27,269 --> 00:43:29,779
Workplace and you don't get so

574
00:43:30,660 --> 00:43:32,660
stressed because

575
00:43:34,619 --> 00:43:37,459
When you are smarting enjoying this moment

576
00:43:39,509 --> 00:43:43,248
You don't have to worry about what's gonna happen in the future

577
00:43:45,509 --> 00:43:53,478
This is something which the Buddha said the only reason why you think about the future is because you're not enjoying the present

578
00:43:54,779 --> 00:44:00,079
If you can even just be and enjoy this moment which you have right now

579
00:44:00,809 --> 00:44:02,700
Smile at it

580
00:44:02,700 --> 00:44:04,700
You don't need to worry about the future

581
00:44:05,999 --> 00:44:11,659
Worrying about the future is not being responsible. It's actually escaping

582
00:44:14,460 --> 00:44:17,239
Because you're not here you're not enjoying this moment

583
00:44:18,119 --> 00:44:20,899
And some won't be well you know this moment is not really good

584
00:44:21,140 --> 00:44:26,539
I got aches pains things are going wrong doesn't matter. This is all you've got

585
00:44:28,410 --> 00:44:30,410
So when you're worried

586
00:44:30,989 --> 00:44:38,209
When all the worry about the future doesn't stop bad things happening. He just stops you enjoying

587
00:44:39,089 --> 00:44:41,089
What you already have right now?

588
00:44:42,599 --> 00:44:44,160
Snoopy

589
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:45,539
Elgin

590
00:44:45,539 --> 00:44:47,899
Snoopy the great master

591
00:44:49,050 --> 00:44:51,050
Who lived in little dog house?

592
00:44:51,300 --> 00:44:57,409
Ate out of a bowl I live in a bigger house not that much bigger called a cootie or a cave

593
00:44:57,540 --> 00:45:02,269
But I eat out of a bowl just like Snoopy and I go for a walk every Saturday morning

594
00:45:03,119 --> 00:45:05,119
It's called arms round

595
00:45:06,240 --> 00:45:13,339
But this is actually how we can overcome the stress in life, it doesn't mean that you have to do

596
00:45:14,460 --> 00:45:16,460
I'll give up your job

597
00:45:16,950 --> 00:45:23,030
Doesn't mean you have to give up your partner doesn't mean you have to give up your kids and no

598
00:45:24,030 --> 00:45:29,269
Ordain them listen. We know what people do I saw through this scam is a scam

599
00:45:29,849 --> 00:45:33,139
Because well, it's not really a scam, but I call it a scam

600
00:45:33,660 --> 00:45:38,030
Because when it came the holiday times in places like Malaysia

601
00:45:38,940 --> 00:45:40,859
sometimes in Thailand

602
00:45:40,859 --> 00:45:45,739
They would get their children to actually spend two or three weeks in a monastery

603
00:45:46,140 --> 00:45:49,190
Ordaining as a novice monk or even novice nuns

604
00:45:50,490 --> 00:45:54,709
Wonderful thing so we could take your children two or three weeks

605
00:45:54,990 --> 00:45:58,669
They ordained as a novice we trained them

606
00:45:59,220 --> 00:46:04,790
Discipline them feed them, and they come home much nicer kids

607
00:46:05,730 --> 00:46:13,219
At the same time you've got two or three weeks. We can go on a holiday or visit your homeland

608
00:46:13,799 --> 00:46:17,959
Knowing that your children have really well looked after you don't have anything to our

609
00:46:18,510 --> 00:46:20,510
free child care

610
00:46:27,599 --> 00:46:32,088
So we have to look after your little work all the different monsters, but

611
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:37,549
They're very nice little kids, but anyway, so

612
00:46:39,119 --> 00:46:44,119
Why do you just stay with the people you're always there good enough for your kids

613
00:46:44,910 --> 00:46:50,389
Spend time with them. Just like my father spent time with me just watching a football match

614
00:46:51,089 --> 00:46:53,689
It's amazing just how I remember death

615
00:46:54,599 --> 00:46:57,019
And as I cherish that

616
00:46:58,109 --> 00:47:00,828
These are the things which you teach your children

617
00:47:01,990 --> 00:47:06,209
The things which you learn from your partner your knife

618
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:12,000
You don't look at what goes wrong, and I think of all the times you had a wonderful evening

619
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:15,719
If you've got a partner and you've had a wonderful time together

620
00:47:16,839 --> 00:47:22,798
Please keep thinking about that. Why why did that work? Why did you have a wonderful time with her or him?

621
00:47:23,980 --> 00:47:26,849
When it all goes wrong, please forget about that

622
00:47:27,910 --> 00:47:30,930
Because you learn from successes not learn from mistakes

623
00:47:32,230 --> 00:47:35,339
This is an important part of him having no stress

624
00:47:36,069 --> 00:47:43,259
But apparently I know teachers if businesses go all this business is not just LinkedIn and Google and other stuff

625
00:47:43,630 --> 00:47:47,369
But you know what happens is that when anything goes wrong?

626
00:47:48,039 --> 00:47:52,528
We keep on having meeting after meeting after meeting it went wrong it shouldn't have gone wrong

627
00:47:52,529 --> 00:47:59,909
Why did it go wrong? You're to blame out no your mistake out you know when things go wrong just

628
00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:02,880
Forget about it

629
00:48:03,250 --> 00:48:05,969
Don't blame anybody, but when things go right

630
00:48:06,970 --> 00:48:09,299
There is when to have the meetings

631
00:48:10,059 --> 00:48:16,559
why did it go right and who was responsible me me me me yeah and

632
00:48:18,250 --> 00:48:23,669
We learn for what goes right in life we learn not from stress

633
00:48:24,490 --> 00:48:26,729
But those moments when you don't have stress

634
00:48:27,819 --> 00:48:33,479
When they were a beautiful evening a beautiful day a beautiful weekend

635
00:48:34,450 --> 00:48:36,099
We learned

636
00:48:36,099 --> 00:48:38,578
Not from the negative from the positive

637
00:48:39,220 --> 00:48:44,069
Which is one of the reasons? Why somebody once asked me what I did more. What did that talk?

638
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:46,589
What's the difference between letting go and letting be?

639
00:48:47,230 --> 00:48:51,209
Letting go is just letting go of complaining and controlling letting go of fear

640
00:48:51,849 --> 00:48:56,159
When you let go of all of that what's left. That's when you let things be

641
00:48:56,859 --> 00:48:58,859
But sometimes we just look at let it be

642
00:48:59,829 --> 00:49:01,829
Just let this weekend be

643
00:49:02,349 --> 00:49:04,349
And if you are peaceful happy

644
00:49:05,140 --> 00:49:07,260
if you smile are your kids

645
00:49:08,380 --> 00:49:11,099
instead of complaining about them spend time with a

646
00:49:11,710 --> 00:49:15,210
Connect with them connect with yourself connect whether weekend

647
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:20,010
Connect with your body so I can feel healthy connect with your mind it needs peace in his rest

648
00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:26,070
then you find it'll be so efficient in this world you get so much done but

649
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:29,760
Without any stress I

650
00:49:31,150 --> 00:49:33,450
Am a high achiever muck

651
00:49:34,780 --> 00:49:38,519
There's so many organizations is not just put us aside in Western, Australia

652
00:49:39,910 --> 00:49:44,069
Just over in Hong Kong. It's called Biff

653
00:49:45,340 --> 00:49:50,250
bodhinyana International Foundation and the people they're called b'fer's I

654
00:49:51,850 --> 00:49:53,530
Made the bigness

655
00:49:53,530 --> 00:49:56,190
And they're doing really amazing this is how much?

656
00:49:56,800 --> 00:50:04,200
Stuff which I do over there how many people come to the talks in the newspapers and just some videos and goodness knows in

657
00:50:04,630 --> 00:50:06,630
universities and

658
00:50:06,850 --> 00:50:12,029
Where were sudoko not just linked in the fallen correspondents Club. It's really cool

659
00:50:12,220 --> 00:50:14,879
What is people just they keep coming back and?

660
00:50:16,180 --> 00:50:22,079
you enjoy yourself, and you give and it works and

661
00:50:23,020 --> 00:50:25,740
Singapore's two groups over there Brom sent him

662
00:50:26,470 --> 00:50:28,470
a Buddhist fellowship

663
00:50:28,480 --> 00:50:30,400
They're flourishing

664
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:34,980
There are how many toes how many people who had talked last night that to 3,000 people I?

665
00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:37,920
Know wondering this was on a Thursday

666
00:50:38,620 --> 00:50:41,249
Night in Singapore they disc so buddy

667
00:50:42,190 --> 00:50:47,940
They were giving up that their evening meal straight from work straight to the talk for three hours. They were there

668
00:50:49,030 --> 00:50:51,030
amazing just

669
00:50:51,610 --> 00:50:53,610
So I have all that responsibility

670
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:56,650
All those groups

671
00:50:56,650 --> 00:50:58,390
group over in England

672
00:50:58,390 --> 00:51:01,740
Group over with I've got the brown Center

673
00:51:02,260 --> 00:51:09,749
You know Blum Society in Colombo, I got the a bicycle. Let's see my group over in, Indonesia

674
00:51:10,300 --> 00:51:13,440
those different things a si Australia Sangha Association

675
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:17,519
Monks and nuns in from all over all traditions over

676
00:51:18,190 --> 00:51:19,750
in

677
00:51:19,750 --> 00:51:23,940
Coming this weekend. You've got the Buddha Society Victoria

678
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:29,370
That's from the spiritual adviser so many advisers so many things to do

679
00:51:32,740 --> 00:51:34,740
But do I look stressed

680
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:40,200
So

681
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:44,040
Yes my Lyle

682
00:51:44,890 --> 00:51:51,480
So sometimes I get tired, but even just coming over a long flight not that well. I had to get out early in the morning

683
00:51:52,090 --> 00:51:54,719
to actually get the plane, I just come back here and

684
00:51:55,240 --> 00:51:57,240
Then this is how you deal with?

685
00:51:58,060 --> 00:52:02,219
life both stress both ends loose

686
00:52:02,860 --> 00:52:05,339
Happy smiling and resilience

687
00:52:06,010 --> 00:52:11,879
Something like that goes wrong. You don't get angry when this guitar string has no tension

688
00:52:13,240 --> 00:52:15,899
Subject hits it something goes wrong

689
00:52:16,780 --> 00:52:18,780
You get fired by the police

690
00:52:19,210 --> 00:52:21,210
somebody hits your car

691
00:52:22,030 --> 00:52:26,519
people say things you don't want you get a letter from the

692
00:52:27,010 --> 00:52:31,439
Police or and letter from the tax office or saga when things go wrong

693
00:52:32,860 --> 00:52:36,149
It's only because we're so stressed. We've got no resilience

694
00:52:37,240 --> 00:52:44,729
Guitar string fully stretched Bing, but it makes a really high-pitched really nasty sound you have no stress at all

695
00:52:45,430 --> 00:52:47,430
guitar string fully loose

696
00:52:47,650 --> 00:52:49,060
ping

697
00:52:49,060 --> 00:52:51,060
Doesn't make any noise at all

698
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:53,400
You don't react

699
00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:56,280
When you're relaxed

700
00:52:56,590 --> 00:52:58,590
When you're tense

701
00:52:58,780 --> 00:53:05,399
When it is so tight one more thing one more thing you just say one more thing and then you explode

702
00:53:06,550 --> 00:53:08,550
that is where I enter :

703
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:11,080
from stress

704
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:14,069
To anger will destroy so much from anger

705
00:53:14,770 --> 00:53:18,659
So much of our friendships ourselves even our world

706
00:53:19,330 --> 00:53:22,529
so de-stress easy and

707
00:53:23,230 --> 00:53:25,230
the photo is coming with the

708
00:53:25,390 --> 00:53:26,470
the

709
00:53:26,470 --> 00:53:33,090
The pad and the microphone so I know so he doesn't stress out will finish now

710
00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:37,590
So let's have some questions so side to side to side - here we go

711
00:53:41,540 --> 00:53:43,540
So

712
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:57,549
That's how to de-stress okay, let's see what complaints we got over here

713
00:53:59,690 --> 00:54:03,129
Probably from all the psychiatrist's of stress therapists, I'm putting them out of business

714
00:54:04,610 --> 00:54:08,079
From Stephanie. What is the best way to overcome panic attacks?

715
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:11,950
I have suffered 18 years my entire life has been this and it saddens me greatly

716
00:54:12,980 --> 00:54:20,589
Firm panic attacks one of my friends who was a monk many years ago. He was in the US Marines in the Vietnam War

717
00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:25,509
He had because he was shot in the back of the head

718
00:54:26,210 --> 00:54:28,210
And had some brain damage

719
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:36,009
Otherwise is a wonderful monk very kind, but he had epileptic fits because of the injury being shortened though in a head

720
00:54:36,740 --> 00:54:41,740
how he dealt with his epileptics have hits similar way to overcome the panic attacks

721
00:54:42,710 --> 00:54:44,710
Because he was aware

722
00:54:45,020 --> 00:54:48,580
Mindful he could actually catch those fits

723
00:54:49,250 --> 00:54:55,570
Earlier and earlier and earlier he could see the signs. He could be aware to see how it works because

724
00:54:56,330 --> 00:54:58,600
The fits never just came out of the blue

725
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:00,800
they had the

726
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:05,680
introduction of the little bits getting more tense more tense he could actually feel it coming

727
00:55:07,100 --> 00:55:12,700
It took for a couple of years before he could catch it early enough

728
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:15,760
He could take another path

729
00:55:17,720 --> 00:55:24,609
Relax used to go to his room darken the room just lay down and just relaxed as much as he could and then

730
00:55:25,520 --> 00:55:27,700
after a while no more epileptic fits

731
00:55:29,570 --> 00:55:37,090
He used mindfulness to see the whole process of a fit happening even panic attacks

732
00:55:38,420 --> 00:55:41,799
They don't just come out of the blue you may think they do

733
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:49,599
if you're more aware you can actually see the process when they start to build and build and build and build and

734
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:52,000
If you can catch them early

735
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:54,400
You can find another path

736
00:55:55,760 --> 00:56:00,429
So you don't go down that same habitual routes of panic attacks

737
00:56:02,210 --> 00:56:04,270
That's one of the great things about awareness

738
00:56:05,750 --> 00:56:07,640
It gives you the feedback

739
00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:13,930
It gives you alternatives, so you're not just a creature of habit. You could explore and do things differently

740
00:56:15,500 --> 00:56:17,500
From the Philippines

741
00:56:18,110 --> 00:56:20,110
What if

742
00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:26,260
What if the stress you're experiencing is coming from the president of your country and his supporters I

743
00:56:27,530 --> 00:56:30,850
Tried not to be involved, but I can't stand not to care

744
00:56:31,700 --> 00:56:35,290
Well even our Buddha Society of Western Australia. We have a precedence

745
00:56:36,020 --> 00:56:37,550
well

746
00:56:37,550 --> 00:56:39,550
He's a good read

747
00:56:39,770 --> 00:56:41,770
so the stress of your

748
00:56:42,170 --> 00:56:45,159
country if there's something to do

749
00:56:45,710 --> 00:56:48,370
Then do it give everything you've got

750
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:58,810
Don't wanna go okay stressed so but if there's something you can do then do it

751
00:57:00,350 --> 00:57:06,489
Yeah, but that's what kids are like you know that kids are like that same as presidents

752
00:57:10,040 --> 00:57:13,810
Was they say the old saying about politicians are like newborn babies

753
00:57:15,350 --> 00:57:18,999
They have all like the nappies of newborn babies they have to be changed regularly

754
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:22,960
For that that's your the exception

755
00:57:25,520 --> 00:57:27,520
Yeah

756
00:57:27,890 --> 00:57:29,890
But anyway

757
00:57:30,590 --> 00:57:34,779
You from the if you this is a

758
00:57:35,570 --> 00:57:37,570
poem from William Blake

759
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:40,449
This is a read on purpose as

760
00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:41,900
different parts as

761
00:57:41,900 --> 00:57:47,710
Part of that poem Oh from quote to see a world in a grain of sand to heaven in a wild flower hold infinity in

762
00:57:47,710 --> 00:57:53,379
The palm of your hand eternity in an hour that is really about mindfulness and the joy of it, but also

763
00:57:54,050 --> 00:57:58,810
he wrote that vengeance to the tyrant fled and

764
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:02,829
caught the tyrant in his bed and

765
00:58:03,620 --> 00:58:06,989
slew the wicked one's head and

766
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:10,139
Became a tyrant in his stead

767
00:58:11,770 --> 00:58:13,800
And I was just in a seventeenth-century

768
00:58:14,740 --> 00:58:18,569
That's what happens people go into such politics

769
00:58:19,300 --> 00:58:26,039
Especially presence of country and men's people actually go into that position. They go in there trying to do some good

770
00:58:27,609 --> 00:58:30,449
But sometimes the old saying of power collapse

771
00:58:32,020 --> 00:58:37,020
Absolute power corrupts absolutely that was Lord Acton because that was you know he apparently that in the

772
00:58:37,210 --> 00:58:42,810
Suburb where I grew up that was actually where and I was accent and there was he had his big mansion there

773
00:58:43,630 --> 00:58:46,980
But now it's a long time ago, but that's power

774
00:58:47,980 --> 00:58:49,450
collapse yeah

775
00:58:49,450 --> 00:58:50,920
but if

776
00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:52,920
You use violence

777
00:58:53,079 --> 00:58:58,679
And you get angry and stress to try and get rid of those presidents

778
00:58:59,890 --> 00:59:02,129
You become the same

779
00:59:03,220 --> 00:59:05,760
They bring you down to their level

780
00:59:07,150 --> 00:59:09,150
That's been our history of our world

781
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:14,099
Overthrowing tyrants, and then we installed another tyrant

782
00:59:15,460 --> 00:59:17,460
Is there another way?

783
00:59:19,990 --> 00:59:24,060
From the USA corner bosom our stress and trauma forms of spiritual

784
00:59:24,339 --> 00:59:27,959
pathology or something needs to be acknowledged and contemplated first

785
00:59:28,119 --> 00:59:32,549
How does one come to trigger that guys that are simply suppressing the difficult emotions?

786
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:39,599
This is just like mistakes in life often say this you have not each miss gate mistakes

787
00:59:40,780 --> 00:59:42,899
You're not even first of all forgive them

788
00:59:42,900 --> 00:59:47,700
You don't make the mistake another reason for feeling bad about yourself

789
00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:55,259
Which is where we get suppressing from knowledge yet forgive it this. No. There's nothing wrong with this nothing evil

790
00:59:55,260 --> 01:00:00,179
It's not against the precepts - but it's not against the law don't get put in jail for being stressed

791
01:00:02,530 --> 01:00:04,530
You get put in hospital

792
01:00:05,140 --> 01:00:07,170
so first of all you acknowledge it and

793
01:00:08,050 --> 01:00:14,429
Forgiving it. It's means you. Just don't punish punishment is one of the terrible things which causes more stress in this world

794
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:18,179
He someone asked me in Hong Kong. Do you believe in punishment? I said just know

795
01:00:18,770 --> 01:00:19,380
a

796
01:00:19,380 --> 01:00:22,549
Really absolute definite answer which was quite shocking to them

797
01:00:23,220 --> 01:00:26,570
what about really bad people the punishment just makes them worse and

798
01:00:27,270 --> 01:00:31,669
When I was punished or died all I learned when I was punished at school for making a mistake

799
01:00:32,250 --> 01:00:35,989
Was to make sure I don't get caught next time

800
01:00:37,470 --> 01:00:40,459
It was just like learn how to be more smart and sneaky

801
01:00:42,210 --> 01:00:44,840
So quite um there were from the acknowledgement

802
01:00:45,930 --> 01:00:50,630
Forgiven, it's part of life to make mistakes and even stress and trauma

803
01:00:51,570 --> 01:00:56,659
Mistakes happen in life. There's no the the the dogshit for the mango tree

804
01:00:57,360 --> 01:00:59,360
but

805
01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:05,060
We learn from it. It's a learning which is a growth in spirituality

806
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:11,179
Stress and trauma it happens we have to learn from it not

807
01:01:11,850 --> 01:01:13,260
contemplated

808
01:01:13,260 --> 01:01:15,260
contemplate too much thinking

809
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:17,360
explored

810
01:01:17,970 --> 01:01:19,560
Understood

811
01:01:19,560 --> 01:01:22,159
Really just walk on right into

812
01:01:22,740 --> 01:01:28,490
so we understand how it works just like sit with that panic attacks or with a guy with who had the

813
01:01:29,340 --> 01:01:31,340
epileptic fits

814
01:01:31,500 --> 01:01:33,500
explore it

815
01:01:33,510 --> 01:01:37,610
Understand there and what you have understand it you have powerful

816
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:44,269
It's not the best metaphor, but in the Chinese art of war

817
01:01:44,970 --> 01:01:47,120
Know the enemy know thyself

818
01:01:48,030 --> 01:01:50,989
Thousand battles fought thousand battles, won

819
01:01:52,020 --> 01:01:56,959
Now it's a military thing but his reasoning became famous because that is about our life

820
01:01:57,540 --> 01:01:59,540
We got like stress trauma

821
01:02:00,090 --> 01:02:01,980
our enemy

822
01:02:01,980 --> 01:02:05,149
So know the enemy know yourself

823
01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:08,360
Thousands bet battles won

824
01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:15,769
So a thousand battles fought a thousand battles won. That's how we overcome these things through wisdom through understanding

825
01:02:16,650 --> 01:02:21,560
but not contemplating contemplating thinking thinking goes around it so I can a

826
01:02:21,900 --> 01:02:25,850
Moon a satellite it orbits the problem it things around things

827
01:02:26,700 --> 01:02:28,790
To actually explore you have to go into

828
01:02:30,410 --> 01:02:32,410
No not

829
01:02:32,540 --> 01:02:35,080
Escaping from it. They're going towards it

830
01:02:36,170 --> 01:02:38,800
So anyway any questions from the floor

831
01:02:41,060 --> 01:02:47,139
Great oh there was one was it. No. Yeah, okay? I

832
01:02:55,460 --> 01:03:01,510
Just want to ask you a little bit more about forgiving yourself from mistakes from the past like

833
01:03:04,340 --> 01:03:06,340
I

834
01:03:06,350 --> 01:03:11,589
Know it mistakes from the past are just so much fun

835
01:03:13,730 --> 01:03:21,429
Honestly because when we mention our mistakes people remember then it's good fun people look what's the nice?

836
01:03:22,490 --> 01:03:24,350
as many mistakes

837
01:03:24,350 --> 01:03:28,629
When I was doing a funeral service I got Chinese

838
01:03:29,210 --> 01:03:31,210
Culture in my mind right now

839
01:03:31,430 --> 01:03:35,440
Because of just being a Hong Kong so when I was in

840
01:03:37,369 --> 01:03:43,239
Was first came over here there was Chinese Buddhist family and

841
01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:45,260
somebody

842
01:03:45,260 --> 01:03:52,689
Not you know wasn't Chinese this was actually Sri. Lankan. I remember now this one of the Sri. Lankan men who comes here

843
01:03:52,690 --> 01:03:57,310
They said one of their family had died and they were doing the funeral service

844
01:03:58,070 --> 01:04:03,789
In Raqqa B. Road as a funeral parlor there, so I went over there and you know just

845
01:04:05,330 --> 01:04:10,959
Started a service welcome everybody maybe in a funeral services were welcome everybody welcome

846
01:04:11,750 --> 01:04:13,750
everybody and it's a

847
01:04:14,270 --> 01:04:16,780
to do the Buddhist funeral service for

848
01:04:17,450 --> 01:04:24,159
The the mother of my friend over here, so R and Jane or something

849
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:27,250
Whose mother just passed away

850
01:04:28,010 --> 01:04:34,030
And that's just how I started and that point this old lady at the front stood up

851
01:04:35,180 --> 01:04:41,350
Interrupted me and she looked at me and said it's not me who died it's my husband

852
01:04:42,780 --> 01:04:45,739
I'm still alive nothing wrong with me

853
01:04:47,520 --> 01:04:51,110
And that was the end of being serious about being

854
01:04:51,750 --> 01:04:58,820
70 it's wonderful you're making mistake like that and I know you don't heard the joke about you know the funeral

855
01:04:59,160 --> 01:05:02,149
Directors, you know who couldn't find the gravesite

856
01:05:02,820 --> 01:05:04,820
They lost the plot

857
01:05:05,550 --> 01:05:09,830
For that actually happened to me once I think in Guildford Cemetery and

858
01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:13,250
As we're doing the procession from the gates

859
01:05:13,860 --> 01:05:15,270
and when they were going and

860
01:05:15,270 --> 01:05:21,919
just now we're going in the front end and the hearse was following myself and the funeral director and the northern mourners behind and they

861
01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:25,730
Were going and I said, no. This is a long way. He said you know. I don't know where it is

862
01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:34,159
And we looked over there maybe about 300 meters away and that people were waving at us there's over here

863
01:05:36,180 --> 01:05:38,180
It has happened I

864
01:05:38,490 --> 01:05:44,060
Remember just all these great jokes about funerals one of the friends over in Sydney

865
01:05:44,060 --> 01:05:48,320
He was a funeral director before and he said sometimes sometimes. They actually do

866
01:05:49,590 --> 01:05:51,590
Go to the wrong cemetery

867
01:05:53,520 --> 01:05:59,390
So you know they've got no two funerals one is they a Fremantle one is up in a row when they arrive there

868
01:05:59,390 --> 01:06:02,839
They should be a few at Fremantle. Yeah, you should be up in away

869
01:06:05,250 --> 01:06:08,149
Well that's when they had to collect the bodies

870
01:06:08,250 --> 01:06:13,250
You know it's it, and so just to be able to to get enough. You know to make it worthwhile

871
01:06:13,560 --> 01:06:15,769
They had had to be three

872
01:06:16,620 --> 01:06:18,739
three bodies in the back of the hearse one

873
01:06:18,740 --> 01:06:21,979
So just taking it to the funeral parlor not there to the funeral well

874
01:06:21,980 --> 01:06:26,659
They took it there know some of the people you know a bit sort of you know just

875
01:06:27,870 --> 01:06:31,880
overweight and had three really heavy people and

876
01:06:32,460 --> 01:06:34,410
so the poor hearse

877
01:06:34,410 --> 01:06:41,120
It was actually so heavy in the back the metal of the front back bumper was actually scraping on the bitumen

878
01:06:41,850 --> 01:06:47,959
And you can't actually stop and unload somebody and pick him up later, so they're in big trouble there

879
01:06:49,160 --> 01:06:53,950
Or the other guy. They install this was in New York or San Francisco somewhere

880
01:06:53,950 --> 01:06:57,220
You know they have these these lanes for two or more people

881
01:06:57,950 --> 01:07:03,129
You know so you know the because so many people drive their cars only a single person in the car

882
01:07:03,470 --> 01:07:09,339
And that's what causes also traffic and so some jurisdictions. They have lanes especially two or more people and

883
01:07:10,910 --> 01:07:12,470
Then

884
01:07:12,470 --> 01:07:14,470
policeman stopped a funeral hearse

885
01:07:14,690 --> 01:07:17,109
there's only one driver in there and

886
01:07:17,630 --> 01:07:21,190
the actually the driver took the police to court he

887
01:07:21,770 --> 01:07:24,550
Said well, I had the guy in the back that makes two

888
01:07:28,099 --> 01:07:35,469
Whom he lost his case some judges don't have a sense of humor, but anyway, okay, so hopefully that answers the questions

889
01:07:35,470 --> 01:07:38,439
It's getting a bit late, so I'm just this so now

890
01:07:38,990 --> 01:07:44,589
Is basically the bottom of the stack and then we can actually go and do whatever we need to do

891
01:08:17,759 --> 01:08:19,759
[Chanting]