Some people going outside some people coming inside
Usually I try and make a quick estimate how many people go out and how many people come in
The moment is I'm at a loss
More people have gone out that come in
Maybe my charisma is not working today. Maybe I spent it all in Hong Kong and Singapore
He
Okay, yes few more coming in but of course many people actually watch these talks on online
So many people actually go overseas or watch you online
Which is very wonderful that we can share all of these talks
And online is much easier because if you're watching at home online if you don't like it you can always delete
But here you're not allowed to delete me. You're stuck with me for the whole 45 minutes
so
here we go I
Do have a fan oh
It doesn't work
Hey, hey
Okay
So
These talks on a Friday night as I often say you don't try and plan them just let them happen
And it's just know people say some things just
Beforehand or the last hour or two and it's just an obvious topic which keeps coming up and up and up and up
and the one today is you know the old one about stress I
Don't know why people are stressed out
We're stressing out about
Can't you this is your weekend? You don't have to work I do
That just come back for 11 days just working my butt off in Hong Kong
I shouldn't have any but left after all the hard work I do
But it's still there my nose to the grindstone. She know she should be flat by now and
Always accepting all these offers
Just say that as soon as you come back
There you have to just don't get some physiotherapy on your arm because people always twisting my arm to do this and to do that
but oh
Come on relax
Because a lot of times that you understand that you know you should be stressful
The amount of work you do, but you don't have to be
The stress has got nothing to do with how much work you have
It does nothing to do with all the problems you have in your life. It's nothing to do with all of this
It's not the world which is stressful
It is the way we look at it
This is a wonderful thing which you know a basic teaching and understanding you can learn
It's not the world is out to get you
It's just that sometimes. We don't understand and we react in a way, which is causes things to be worse
so
Instead of learning just to over react to life
because that's what an
inflammation and inflammation
no either of the immune system or an inflammation because you have a wound and
inflammation of your head because you know somebody said something you don't like or your
Expectations don't be met or people keep shouting at you and criticizing you all of those things
It's an overreaction to life
So we learn
Hopefully places by this just how number one to overcome stress
lower your
expectations
Simple things
when you go over to
one of the places I was over in Hong Kong
They're talking about how the children committing suicide. They're in these universities
Because now this is next to China in Hong Kong and it's a very very demanding
culture trying to get jobs trying to survive, and if you do think you live in a stressful environment in Perth
This is my heaven
Compared to the stresses, which people sometimes have to deal with in those countries
At least we have space at least we have a beach many beaches you know in a place of like Perth
But in some of these places or it's just really really tough
Wow
So first the voice because everybody wants, you know you have to succeed in life you have to get someone life
You have to be somewhere in life
That's what people think especially in the Chinese culture where your parental expectations are very high
And you do have this idea of filial piety you just want to look after your parents
But sometimes we don't know how to achieve that
So I was just saying that some of the some of the experiences which I remembered growing up
One of those experiences would haven't really mentioned that much all these memories keep coming back every now and again
You know that's when I was about 11 years 10 or 11 years of age
You know my primary school. I managed to get on the school football team
and
I was so proud of getting on the school football team playing on a Saturday morning, and when I told my dad
I'm on the school football team. He said you are wonderful when you're playing Saturday mornings
Is it aha I have to work on a Saturday morning, and if it it eleven-year-olds?
You're so crestfallen when he got on
The school's he was only at school football team primary school
But you felt me something and yet dad couldn't come to see you. Oh, that was so disappointing, but he had work to do
So you can imagine my delight?
When you had already started playing the soccer game the kickoff had already happened, and I turned around and there was my father
He was on the touchline cheering me on oh that meant so much to me
And then I asked him after the game said how come you managed to come here? I thought you had to work
And he said yes, I did have to work
But I know he was always very sick, so I told my boss
The doctor had asked me to have a series of injections every Saturday morning
He lied he wasn't a very honest man, but he was so kind and
I'll give him that
You know he was putting his job at risk to see his son play football
and
That meant so much to me
And that was the kindness he
education which I got from him
Disability to sacrifice because being with your family is so important but some of us think oh now
We've got to get you a really good education
and if and if you don't pass those exams
Then you have tuition
extra homework
keep keep
Pushing for the academic achievements and so you know we just do things all upside down
Do you really need academic achievers to get anywhere in life look at me? I got lots of academic
Achievements, and I haven't got anything in life. I live in a small cave I haven't got a house and got a car
I don't have any holidays
Honestly, I don't have holidays when I go to Hong Kong. It's teach teach teach work won't work
I don't sort of you know have any any
superannuation to worry about
You know if I lost my job in the Buddhist light at West Australia. I'll be on the street. I've got
No health insurance
Got nothing
except
beautiful memories of a kind father
kind friends
Kind people kind monks kind kids
Thank you and that is my inheritance
And so sometimes when we wonder about the stresses in life we get stressed out because we're searching for the wrong things in life
There we sometimes we should stop every day. What do anyone a
little question like that
Right now. What do you want in I?
Want to be rich come on that's never gonna happen, and if you are rich
That's not that is sometimes people saying oh
I win the lottery then I can I can do this and go there I can pay off all my debts
I can just you know what they say they say a compartment. You know that you've got powers
I know you've got powers, so just know a few numbers. That's all I wanna
palpable
They sometimes they are for these things. I'm not gonna be really really careful
Because I don't know what it is. I don't know why but sometimes when good lucks
They forget to keep but it is this was of this blessing once a
Friend of mine here. He said the friend of a friend one of the people who came here very often
And he's moved out of Perth now. He said one of his friends was opening up a small business
Can I come and bless the business for him and of course you know just a blessing is just just giving you extra energy?
You know making you feel good
Just like you know the your honor the grounds of the football stadium or the cricket pitch and you cheer on your team
Just my father cheered me on when I was playing soccer that meant a lot to me that made lifted up my spirit
So I decided to go and chant for this business
But you know I do get very busy sometimes and sometimes
I forget to ask what type of business is it and this was a lottery store I
Won't say which which
shopping center this was in but I went there just opening out first time and I
Really gave it a big full blessing
ajahn brahm superpower
And it was only about a year later two years later. I
read in the West Australian Saturday edition clue to get the Saturday paper here to find out what's going on and
There was a big article about this
the most
successful lottery outlet in Australia
And I realized oh my goodness the one that I blessed I
better not bless anymore
mother
But when people do get rich, what do you do with the wealth? It's just a
Lot of times you know that wealth
destroys your happiness
it doesn't actually just make you more happy I
Have lived I have visited. It's part of my job, and if an interesting life is a monk
Sometimes you go and see these incredibly wealthy people politicians
CEOs well the last time I went was in Hong Kong go to LinkedIn so now I've been to LinkedIn Facebook
Google what else is there must be a few others, which I'm supposed to do sorry Twitter. Yeah
Isn't Twitter part of I know that?
Donald Trump uses my Twitter a lot too much, but you know it is treatable
Okay very good
Bad jokes walk because
It's stupid
but anyway
Let's go to all these places meet always interesting people and what happens
Is sometimes some of these people and mega wealthy?
Billionaires
you know once I was I was at Parliament House in in Canberra a
state dinner with Queen Elizabeth the second Wow
And I went to the toilet like you have to do in the men's toilet in the urinal next to me
Was Lachlan Murdoch?
And I thought oh, I should have bought a donation envelope for the Buddha Society of Western stupid yeah
But I didn't have one with me, but anyway
So
You meet all this and there's one fellow. I just remember just going to give him in a blessing and his mansion
It was over in Kuala Lumpur somewhere
I won't say which guy this is I went to his mansion and there were guards with machine guns the guy
You know he was a private person just a tycoon
Guards at his gate huge
Huge walls see CCTV ninety-three two seats CCC saw something TVs and
guards everywhere
And I thought this is like going in a prison
And it was like a prison
He reminded me of a prison, so these guys are very very wealthy actually lived in their own private prisons
And they couldn't go anywhere by themselves
Always had to have somebody take them around
Bodyguards everywhere and so what type of life is that?
And I just remember growing up small. What was it called it's a council flat?
for really poor people in a part of London
Which I never knew that this was so many migrants went to my little primary school
No, there's Africans
I was member luahn ever he was from to make us somewhere really nice friend
There was people over from
from Sri Lanka
Can't remember this guy's name now, but all these are from Eastern Europe and from Asia
All these are people I didn't know
That in migrant areas were usually the poor areas
But they were my friends
and
My best friend it was a son of a milkman
So it's not exactly the highest-paid job in the world but he was my friend my mate
I just remembered to spending so many times. You know enjoying each other's playing soccer
But I also remembered my little apartment
You know this I'm not quite sure how you can how you can define this?
but and it was only just
Three or four rooms really small and I had to live in the same bedroom with my brother
And sometimes my parents would actually do have one of these
Make your beds
It was just that latter was the sulfur which converted into a badass only place. They could really sleep very very small
But it was small
It was so wonderful
Because I had to go up with my brother. I had to get on with him
Yeah, we would argue we would fight
But one thing I had learned is how to love somebody
how to the other thing I always remember was my parents
they were just no ordinary people they would argue and
Sometimes they would fight and sometimes they wouldn't speak to each other
In such a small house that couldn't last that long and
The kids were around as well. We'd start teasing white is speaking to daddy mummy come on mummy. You can say sorry
And eventually they would make up
they would hug, and they would kiss in front of my brother and I
know such a special moment I
Learned because it was such a small apartment. I learned that we do argue. We do have differences of opinion
and as we seen things from a different angle, but
Because we had no choice
We're too poor to afford a lawyer
So yeah, it's a makeup
We wish from head
But I saw them just kissing and hugging and saying sorry I learned such a wonderful teaching from that doesn't matter who's right and wrong
Which is actually a no?
We've got to live together so we kiss and make up and we enjoy each other's company, so small houses are really really important
So one of the reasons we have problems and stress
You know in a place like Perth our houses are too big?
Simple thing put more people in the house
Good then you learn how to get on together and have this beautiful
Family people you can rely upon maybe you can talk with
Know sometimes people I sit there Friday evening people talk about this. I talk about that
I don't know really what you're talking about, but I pretend to so yeah really that happened Wow yeah, I know sometimes
That's all people need just to be written know recognized and to be
received some kindness
some love and some respect
and that's what you learn living in a small place, but
You notice again. I was reminded of this tale because I just sang over a had dinner
I got lunch rather before 12 now
And you know that I would do remember once that there must have been at nine or ten or eleven that my we were
Legitimately poor because my father put a 1 pound note on this shelf above the coal fire
They didn't have electric fires
just have coal now to keep you warm during the really freezing winters and
This mother was sitting down their kids were myself and my brother doing homework or something
I don't know how this happened, but a gust of air
Just took that one pound note and it fell into the fireplace
and started burning
And my father just tried to get it out. He burned his hand and my mother's just started crying. Oh weeping
That was so much for them
So it also taught me now as a monk
Sometimes I give my other monks a bit of a hard time
No, you know. I've got to get a final
Okay, when this party at that project because I remember this how much money meant when I was really young so
Wonderful thing to them, but he didn't need the money because head is beautiful love and it wasn't stressful
My father did have time
to actually to watch his son playing soccer
They did have time just to talk with you and to be with you that is what we're missing
That's one of the reasons. We don't have what we do have too much stress in as well
Because we don't have each other
We actually just divided big houses number one means all in different rooms
How many people just share rooms these days even husbands and wives sometimes that they sleep in different bits
Even they have different rooms sometimes different houses
What's going on?
and then
Here you don't have anyone to argue with you don't have anyone to talk with either
So some of the reasons we have this stress over here is this and we're so divided and separated out
And because we have big house and you have to work so hard to pay the bills and so because we pay some bills
We don't have time to meet with one another this is a vicious cycle
so much work needs to be done to pay bills pay rates pray this pray that and just
For a big house where we don't see each other if we were living in the same house
We don't see each other because we're so busy even on a weekend
What are you doing this weekend how much stuff have you got to do. Can you just chill out this weekend?
No, why not?
It's your weekend. You're not supposed to work
So
our
lifestyle
These days it's always doing stuff so
much stuff there we get tired and stressed and
We think we have to get stressed in order to relax
Sometimes we work so hard so when this is done when I pay off the mortgage when my kids leave home
When the work is done on a Friday
Then when I pass my exams when I get the results from my my tests
On Thursday, well what if it is?
well
Then I'll be happy
And I sometimes you really really wonder when don't let people ever relax
This is I do travel around a lot
this is a saying which I often have just been to Hong Kong Kowloon Charton all over the place and
Singapore as well. These are supposed to be major
cities, but in all these places you go, and see it's very rare to see a human being
All you ever see is human goings and doings never actually being here and enjoying this moment a
Weekend just more work on a different type of work
So if you really want to overcome the stress of your life
You have to realize that
You're addicted to stress you're afraid of not doing stress you think that maybe if you relaxed everything will go wrong in your life
You know it doesn't go wrong. You just you don't have heart attacks
It doesn't go wrong. It just means you have more time with the people you love and care for it
Doesn't go wrong. Yes other people think you're really weird
Why is it? You've got two weeks lot of dangers staying at home?
Where are you going on the long weekend?
Nowhere I'm just being here
You're crazy go down to Margaret River go down to Bunbury go down a bodhinyana monastery
See the the monks a sa atm
We're doing that for
If you really want to see it with video it for you
So you can see it home. I can't understand where people travel about people ask me
There's mostly actually the Thai people for they're here. No ok good. They asked me before I left. They said you're going to Hong Kong
We're going to Hong Kong for you going shopping
Shopping or do you want to go shopping for?
Do you like going shopping
Why?
Not number one. I'm a monk number two. I'm a man so shopping to me. It's just I just know just weird
But you know you have to go through these airports
And then the airport just shopping centers these days you can't bypass them
Anyway all these things which I remember just walking just in Hong Kong and all the shops which I saw we're either
Closed shop mostly women's clothes shoe shops or food
And I said well, where's the monks shops?
you know can I get a verse such robe a
Gucci beanie
They didn't have any mug shops there
How many clothes you need a
nice thing of
Living a simple life. It just great being a simple mark
Just this is actually just this is my baggage
Thank you. It's about what?
About taken out I don't know if I'm taken up about this every time I come back to Perth Airport is brilliant
The guys know me there
No, they call me, Abba
So the guy this afternoon said Abba you you're back again. He said you should have your own aircraft by now
He told me this afternoon
And I said if I had you'd be out of a job
He said oh yes true, so I offered go they just walk the stroll through
You know because you haven't got enough to search
So its simplicity is a way to overcome stress
But why do we have so much stuff just in case we worry so much about the future what might happen
Yeah, what might happen you don't have to worry about anything
Because again, I think last two weeks ago and especially just last week because
Chinese year of the dock
So I have to quote the great American philosopher
Snoopy
And it's true mean these little animals that that sort of stuff you get from
The cartoons are just simple
Profound and everybody could understand it you just want you know just just read Nietzsche ki
Or Wittgenstein and it just screws up your head. They're always up to after a while, but anyway
Snoopy it's
Really profound and easy to understand one of the things he said which I was talking about which he said that
worrying about things
Never stops bad things happening
She worried about you. Don't worry about it bad things happen anyway, but it stops you enjoying the present
What are you worrying about thing? You're destroying your weekend
destroying being here
So it's not
The fact you've got lots of things to worry about
Other people do the worrying for you. Why not that's what the government is for to do the worrying
Your job is just to do is enjoy. That's what you pay your taxes for
so
You refuse
to worry on the weekend or
If you'd have a weekend jobs then no don't worry on Monday or Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday, whatever
So you know that reminds me with that story?
These things come up monks know all these stories and listen if you complain about
Me telling the same stories over and over and over again. I have to hear them more than anybody
So I know these stories, but anyway, so this is the the the migrant who came to Australia
And even though he was well educated had a lots of
Qualifications and when you come to a place like Australia your qualifications don't mean anything
And I'm bit worried about that
Because you know now you have to have a qualification
to teach mindfulness you
Got to be accredited
You got to go to a course and get a certificate
So it's only a matter of time when I won't be allowed to teach meditation because I haven't gone through a course
I've taught the people who teach the courses, but I haven't done the course myself
It's really weird this would be
This actually happened I remember
It's not here this evening yeah. He was the the chief
Psychiatrist some years ago over. It's great as hospital
You know one of our members here, and he told me this story that I've in Sydney University
I think he was not the same as Western Australia Western Australia is we're smart. I've been Sydney's absolutely
Ridiculous, they had this teacher this expert this professor of psychiatry
Coming over to Sydney University to lecture for one year
But because he was teaching
Psychiatry he had to be a member of the Royal College of Psychiatrists
Which means that his?
qualifications in the United States counted for nothing
He had to do an exam here in Sydney in Australia, so he could teach
And they gave him two books to study on which they would test him
And when they gave him this two books the first one he told his lamina. What's this? He said well
You've got to study it whose name is on that
It's me I wrote that book
He still had to study it and pass it I think he passed the exam on his own book that's gonna happen to me
I'm sure to be able to teach in this joint you're gonna have to mindfulness bliss and Beyond and stuff like that open the door
Of your heart, they're gonna. Give me a test on it. I wrote the Philippian thing, but anyway
That's the stupidity of our world these days, but anyway. Let's go back to the
stressing out
but just all these things that you know that so we
The future we can't plan and the past oh come on
Why do we linger on the process what causes our stress?
Remember stress
Is like the guitar string?
Pull on both directions to have stress. You've got to have something pulling it
if you let go
Nothing is pulling
Things relax, and there's no stress anymore
So what actually is pulling you?
making you feel stressed
It's fear
Mostly of the future
What might happen?
What will people think of me?
That's one of the great experiences. I had coming to Australia as a monk
Was how many years ago now?
33 34 years ago and 34 years ago now coming to Australia. It was actually waste that time
So norm is coming out of that time my 34th anniversary here in Australia when you first came here
No people took one look at you. They'd never seen a Buddhist monk in the streets
So sometimes they wanted to know what you're wearing that for
But I still remember the first place before we got this place here in no no Maura
We had a little house in for Magnolia Street in North Perth and I was working so hard
We would work over in Bodeen Jana monastery serpentine five days a week and on the weekend. We go to this little house
which was you could actually sleep there and
You could have a hot shower
Over there in banja animosity you get buckets and throw them over from the dam
Throw them over yourself in the evening to wash
And it was so cold
The wind was blowing the world it was chilly
And you you really knew how to wash away quickly
for anyhow on the weekend on
Sunday night on Monday morning we pack up water
We got all of the stuff to take down to the serpentine the monastery where we built it
And I still remember just packing up on Sunday afternoon evening
Putting out this beacon of the old combi van savvy couple years all those were really really good
We packed up so much stuff in that
Compound I remember going to the old wood yard at Jared oh
You have a big timber yard there. We get the timber toss snow fresh sawn
We go around the back way the long way around because our little van was so
overloaded right
And the inside there absolutely jam-packed
On the roof as well really high if ever you seen I remember seeing on the only the rows I think in Indonesia
the mr. Bean
sketch we had a little carnie packed everything really up the top there that was like us I
Remember after we packed all this in our combi van the head of the timber mill said you guys must do a lot of pray?
To get that back to where you belong
And it was true, but anyway when we were packing up in North curse
This little 14 year old girl came out roughly about 14
She was visiting her grandma in the house next door and she came up and looked at me with
All the disgust only a teenage girl can actually give
She had her hands on her hips
and look me up and down I
Can't do disgust, but you know really yeah, and he said looked at me and said you're dressed like a girl
That's sick
She was really trying to upset me because I can see her point you know you're wearing a skirt
And a bald head, but girls don't wear board heads. I'm uh sort of beanie on or something, but anyway
She was really disgusted authoress was so funny
So anyway, it is we were just know having tutors or the other time when I was visiting a cousin
Know that cousin eight. He came here to visit many years ago in stoke-on-trent. That's where he lived and so
During their spending time with your loved ones with your friends, so instead of staying in here
We meditate we went for a walk walk on a Sunday morning as a beautiful day walking down the streets
And I don't know what it is about me must have some sort of charisma, but people were supporting at me and smiling and laughing
And I just making people laugh as a great as a great skill
But it was actually more people pointing and laughing at me than usual
And so I didn't really want to know what was going on well
You know one badly dressed or something or but no
They were just laughing at me all the time and then when we turned a corner
I found out why there's this big billboard a big sight the circus was in town
And they thought I must have been one of the clowns
And I did what make people happy is fine by me
So anyway just sometimes what do people think of you
Do you really care what?
Is your boss think of you
What is your your friends think of you and sometimes? We just so?
afraid of our
Reputation what other people think of us that we have to be fashionable we have to have good clothes
We have to just know fit in
As another little memory of mine when I was really into rock music when I was young and used to have these big
concerts remember going to the the Isle of Wight
rock festival
1970
So the famous rock festival and I had to be cool, so I had green velvet jeans
When I went down there I found I thought I was being rebellious, I thought I was being individual
I thought I was just just rebelling
against convention setting a new style
And when I went down there I found thousands of other people had green velvet jeans
It is another type of uniform
so
Instead of worrying what other people think of you
You can actually be free of that
Be someone who is at peace with yourself
too much that people are worried about
their appearances
Or again, how they come across to other people?
the goodness sake what other people like
Is not your hairstyle
You know this used to be really weird and now it's really common, so how many people copy monks
Where no
We some of us have patches
You know you've got patches in your robe haven't you there are lots of crutches in Israel you see we've really fashionable
Fashion leaders trendsetters, but anyway
Anyway, it is because we don't really care or worry what other people think of us we can relax
We should be happy we can be at peace and that is why people
like hear
What people like to to hang around with is that people are relaxed?
Confident at peace with themselves at ease with themselves
So if you want to be fashionable if you're gonna be attractive he one of people that think well of you
relax
Be confident smile more
so
Such a simple teaching even last night
Somebody was saying she's heard me in Singapore
They heard me giving all these talks, but still she's anxious and depressed and sometimes that she sleeps in in the morning
Because she's afraid of getting out of bed and going to work
It's so easy solution just because is simple does not mean it doesn't work
Simple powerful
Because this is what I was taught for two years by a meditation teacher when I was still a student
Said when you get up in the morning, what do you do?
And go to toilet great. Is there a mirror in your toilet of course there's a mirror in the toilet and my teacher?
Toby I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and
smile at yourself
And I told my teacher get real. I'm a student. You know you look at teenagers or 20 year olds
What do they look like in the morning?
Really grumpy miserable me
Especially they've been drinking alcohol staying up late at night like I used to do it no Stace
I said sir if I looked at myself in the mirror in the morning first thing. I probably scream
And he said smart yourself
Impossible and that's when he told me things this great teacher
simple
Two fingers and push up
That's what he taught me
So I did that for two years
Two years I followed that and every morning
You got up there and looked at the mirror
Impart to fingers up and this saw this stupid young man
Smiling making a face in the mirror and when you when you do that. You know if I make a face. Yeah, it's working
You're smarting now
You do that to yourself everybody don't need anybody and then after a while you smile smile smile. I started laughing at myself
I laughed at myself
every morning for two years
And this is kind of stuck now
Which means that yay didn't feel good
He felt tired bit of a hangover busy day social life
But Isis Mart every morning that was incredible for making you healthy
Incredible for attracting really hot girlfriends
It was a lot people smiley it was great for passing exams
It was even great. I learned this okay when I was playing sports
I did actually play sport every now and again
I don't know why I did this actually because they had to know the in Cambridge have the boats the ACE I
Never did the boat race that was just too ridiculous
You know you don't that was just too full on but disorderly racing
And just me in the boat and a race in pulling the soil a long way and after a while
It was really hard, and I wasn't really in certain to getting fits
You noticed it's a bit of fun, but as an exercise but not super fit
So no what happened there was a little coach the coach was on his bicycle had a megaphone. He shouted out at me
He said you're making an ugly face smile and when you're really struggling physically of course you do make ugly faces
And I learned something great from that coach worthwhile all of that. You know doing the the training for rowing in an eight
And what I learned that when you smile the?
Or is so easy to pull I've got a boost of energy
Paint has dissipated. I smiled and the oil had more energy and
That was such an important at all teaching ask any psychologists that even doctors
I don't know. How it works if you've got a really really hard walk your cycling. You're running. You're exercising. You're
Working to snoo have a really important meeting smile
And then your boss will not know what you're up to
Smart over that he thinks damn him he knows something I don't what's the answer?
That's my thing it's so important so easy that takes away your stress
Even little things like doing exams and tests interviews you smile
Because people like people who smile it if you're hiring somebody
You're gonna employ somebody at work. Are you gonna employ someone who's just got a miserable face a sourpuss
You've got enough of them back at home when you're at work you guys
You as somebody is uplifting smartie and it changes a whole
Workplace and you don't get so
stressed because
When you are smarting enjoying this moment
You don't have to worry about what's gonna happen in the future
This is something which the Buddha said the only reason why you think about the future is because you're not enjoying the present
If you can even just be and enjoy this moment which you have right now
Smile at it
You don't need to worry about the future
Worrying about the future is not being responsible. It's actually escaping
Because you're not here you're not enjoying this moment
And some won't be well you know this moment is not really good
I got aches pains things are going wrong doesn't matter. This is all you've got
So when you're worried
When all the worry about the future doesn't stop bad things happening. He just stops you enjoying
What you already have right now?
Snoopy
Elgin
Snoopy the great master
Who lived in little dog house?
Ate out of a bowl I live in a bigger house not that much bigger called a cootie or a cave
But I eat out of a bowl just like Snoopy and I go for a walk every Saturday morning
It's called arms round
But this is actually how we can overcome the stress in life, it doesn't mean that you have to do
I'll give up your job
Doesn't mean you have to give up your partner doesn't mean you have to give up your kids and no
Ordain them listen. We know what people do I saw through this scam is a scam
Because well, it's not really a scam, but I call it a scam
Because when it came the holiday times in places like Malaysia
sometimes in Thailand
They would get their children to actually spend two or three weeks in a monastery
Ordaining as a novice monk or even novice nuns
Wonderful thing so we could take your children two or three weeks
They ordained as a novice we trained them
Discipline them feed them, and they come home much nicer kids
At the same time you've got two or three weeks. We can go on a holiday or visit your homeland
Knowing that your children have really well looked after you don't have anything to our
free child care
So we have to look after your little work all the different monsters, but
They're very nice little kids, but anyway, so
Why do you just stay with the people you're always there good enough for your kids
Spend time with them. Just like my father spent time with me just watching a football match
It's amazing just how I remember death
And as I cherish that
These are the things which you teach your children
The things which you learn from your partner your knife
You don't look at what goes wrong, and I think of all the times you had a wonderful evening
If you've got a partner and you've had a wonderful time together
Please keep thinking about that. Why why did that work? Why did you have a wonderful time with her or him?
When it all goes wrong, please forget about that
Because you learn from successes not learn from mistakes
This is an important part of him having no stress
But apparently I know teachers if businesses go all this business is not just LinkedIn and Google and other stuff
But you know what happens is that when anything goes wrong?
We keep on having meeting after meeting after meeting it went wrong it shouldn't have gone wrong
Why did it go wrong? You're to blame out no your mistake out you know when things go wrong just
Forget about it
Don't blame anybody, but when things go right
There is when to have the meetings
why did it go right and who was responsible me me me me yeah and
We learn for what goes right in life we learn not from stress
But those moments when you don't have stress
When they were a beautiful evening a beautiful day a beautiful weekend
We learned
Not from the negative from the positive
Which is one of the reasons? Why somebody once asked me what I did more. What did that talk?
What's the difference between letting go and letting be?
Letting go is just letting go of complaining and controlling letting go of fear
When you let go of all of that what's left. That's when you let things be
But sometimes we just look at let it be
Just let this weekend be
And if you are peaceful happy
if you smile are your kids
instead of complaining about them spend time with a
Connect with them connect with yourself connect whether weekend
Connect with your body so I can feel healthy connect with your mind it needs peace in his rest
then you find it'll be so efficient in this world you get so much done but
Without any stress I
Am a high achiever muck
There's so many organizations is not just put us aside in Western, Australia
Just over in Hong Kong. It's called Biff
bodhinyana International Foundation and the people they're called b'fer's I
Made the bigness
And they're doing really amazing this is how much?
Stuff which I do over there how many people come to the talks in the newspapers and just some videos and goodness knows in
universities and
Where were sudoko not just linked in the fallen correspondents Club. It's really cool
What is people just they keep coming back and?
you enjoy yourself, and you give and it works and
Singapore's two groups over there Brom sent him
a Buddhist fellowship
They're flourishing
There are how many toes how many people who had talked last night that to 3,000 people I?
Know wondering this was on a Thursday
Night in Singapore they disc so buddy
They were giving up that their evening meal straight from work straight to the talk for three hours. They were there
amazing just
So I have all that responsibility
All those groups
group over in England
Group over with I've got the brown Center
You know Blum Society in Colombo, I got the a bicycle. Let's see my group over in, Indonesia
those different things a si Australia Sangha Association
Monks and nuns in from all over all traditions over
in
Coming this weekend. You've got the Buddha Society Victoria
That's from the spiritual adviser so many advisers so many things to do
But do I look stressed
So
Yes my Lyle
So sometimes I get tired, but even just coming over a long flight not that well. I had to get out early in the morning
to actually get the plane, I just come back here and
Then this is how you deal with?
life both stress both ends loose
Happy smiling and resilience
Something like that goes wrong. You don't get angry when this guitar string has no tension
Subject hits it something goes wrong
You get fired by the police
somebody hits your car
people say things you don't want you get a letter from the
Police or and letter from the tax office or saga when things go wrong
It's only because we're so stressed. We've got no resilience
Guitar string fully stretched Bing, but it makes a really high-pitched really nasty sound you have no stress at all
guitar string fully loose
ping
Doesn't make any noise at all
You don't react
When you're relaxed
When you're tense
When it is so tight one more thing one more thing you just say one more thing and then you explode
that is where I enter :
from stress
To anger will destroy so much from anger
So much of our friendships ourselves even our world
so de-stress easy and
the photo is coming with the
the
The pad and the microphone so I know so he doesn't stress out will finish now
So let's have some questions so side to side to side - here we go
So
That's how to de-stress okay, let's see what complaints we got over here
Probably from all the psychiatrist's of stress therapists, I'm putting them out of business
From Stephanie. What is the best way to overcome panic attacks?
I have suffered 18 years my entire life has been this and it saddens me greatly
Firm panic attacks one of my friends who was a monk many years ago. He was in the US Marines in the Vietnam War
He had because he was shot in the back of the head
And had some brain damage
Otherwise is a wonderful monk very kind, but he had epileptic fits because of the injury being shortened though in a head
how he dealt with his epileptics have hits similar way to overcome the panic attacks
Because he was aware
Mindful he could actually catch those fits
Earlier and earlier and earlier he could see the signs. He could be aware to see how it works because
The fits never just came out of the blue
they had the
introduction of the little bits getting more tense more tense he could actually feel it coming
It took for a couple of years before he could catch it early enough
He could take another path
Relax used to go to his room darken the room just lay down and just relaxed as much as he could and then
after a while no more epileptic fits
He used mindfulness to see the whole process of a fit happening even panic attacks
They don't just come out of the blue you may think they do
if you're more aware you can actually see the process when they start to build and build and build and build and
If you can catch them early
You can find another path
So you don't go down that same habitual routes of panic attacks
That's one of the great things about awareness
It gives you the feedback
It gives you alternatives, so you're not just a creature of habit. You could explore and do things differently
From the Philippines
What if
What if the stress you're experiencing is coming from the president of your country and his supporters I
Tried not to be involved, but I can't stand not to care
Well even our Buddha Society of Western Australia. We have a precedence
well
He's a good read
so the stress of your
country if there's something to do
Then do it give everything you've got
Don't wanna go okay stressed so but if there's something you can do then do it
Yeah, but that's what kids are like you know that kids are like that same as presidents
Was they say the old saying about politicians are like newborn babies
They have all like the nappies of newborn babies they have to be changed regularly
For that that's your the exception
Yeah
But anyway
You from the if you this is a
poem from William Blake
This is a read on purpose as
different parts as
Part of that poem Oh from quote to see a world in a grain of sand to heaven in a wild flower hold infinity in
The palm of your hand eternity in an hour that is really about mindfulness and the joy of it, but also
he wrote that vengeance to the tyrant fled and
caught the tyrant in his bed and
slew the wicked one's head and
Became a tyrant in his stead
And I was just in a seventeenth-century
That's what happens people go into such politics
Especially presence of country and men's people actually go into that position. They go in there trying to do some good
But sometimes the old saying of power collapse
Absolute power corrupts absolutely that was Lord Acton because that was you know he apparently that in the
Suburb where I grew up that was actually where and I was accent and there was he had his big mansion there
But now it's a long time ago, but that's power
collapse yeah
but if
You use violence
And you get angry and stress to try and get rid of those presidents
You become the same
They bring you down to their level
That's been our history of our world
Overthrowing tyrants, and then we installed another tyrant
Is there another way?
From the USA corner bosom our stress and trauma forms of spiritual
pathology or something needs to be acknowledged and contemplated first
How does one come to trigger that guys that are simply suppressing the difficult emotions?
This is just like mistakes in life often say this you have not each miss gate mistakes
You're not even first of all forgive them
You don't make the mistake another reason for feeling bad about yourself
Which is where we get suppressing from knowledge yet forgive it this. No. There's nothing wrong with this nothing evil
It's not against the precepts - but it's not against the law don't get put in jail for being stressed
You get put in hospital
so first of all you acknowledge it and
Forgiving it. It's means you. Just don't punish punishment is one of the terrible things which causes more stress in this world
He someone asked me in Hong Kong. Do you believe in punishment? I said just know
a
Really absolute definite answer which was quite shocking to them
what about really bad people the punishment just makes them worse and
When I was punished or died all I learned when I was punished at school for making a mistake
Was to make sure I don't get caught next time
It was just like learn how to be more smart and sneaky
So quite um there were from the acknowledgement
Forgiven, it's part of life to make mistakes and even stress and trauma
Mistakes happen in life. There's no the the the dogshit for the mango tree
but
We learn from it. It's a learning which is a growth in spirituality
Stress and trauma it happens we have to learn from it not
contemplated
contemplate too much thinking
explored
Understood
Really just walk on right into
so we understand how it works just like sit with that panic attacks or with a guy with who had the
epileptic fits
explore it
Understand there and what you have understand it you have powerful
It's not the best metaphor, but in the Chinese art of war
Know the enemy know thyself
Thousand battles fought thousand battles, won
Now it's a military thing but his reasoning became famous because that is about our life
We got like stress trauma
our enemy
So know the enemy know yourself
Thousands bet battles won
So a thousand battles fought a thousand battles won. That's how we overcome these things through wisdom through understanding
but not contemplating contemplating thinking thinking goes around it so I can a
Moon a satellite it orbits the problem it things around things
To actually explore you have to go into
No not
Escaping from it. They're going towards it
So anyway any questions from the floor
Great oh there was one was it. No. Yeah, okay? I
Just want to ask you a little bit more about forgiving yourself from mistakes from the past like
I
Know it mistakes from the past are just so much fun
Honestly because when we mention our mistakes people remember then it's good fun people look what's the nice?
as many mistakes
When I was doing a funeral service I got Chinese
Culture in my mind right now
Because of just being a Hong Kong so when I was in
Was first came over here there was Chinese Buddhist family and
somebody
Not you know wasn't Chinese this was actually Sri. Lankan. I remember now this one of the Sri. Lankan men who comes here
They said one of their family had died and they were doing the funeral service
In Raqqa B. Road as a funeral parlor there, so I went over there and you know just
Started a service welcome everybody maybe in a funeral services were welcome everybody welcome
everybody and it's a
to do the Buddhist funeral service for
The the mother of my friend over here, so R and Jane or something
Whose mother just passed away
And that's just how I started and that point this old lady at the front stood up
Interrupted me and she looked at me and said it's not me who died it's my husband
I'm still alive nothing wrong with me
And that was the end of being serious about being
70 it's wonderful you're making mistake like that and I know you don't heard the joke about you know the funeral
Directors, you know who couldn't find the gravesite
They lost the plot
For that actually happened to me once I think in Guildford Cemetery and
As we're doing the procession from the gates
and when they were going and
just now we're going in the front end and the hearse was following myself and the funeral director and the northern mourners behind and they
Were going and I said, no. This is a long way. He said you know. I don't know where it is
And we looked over there maybe about 300 meters away and that people were waving at us there's over here
It has happened I
Remember just all these great jokes about funerals one of the friends over in Sydney
He was a funeral director before and he said sometimes sometimes. They actually do
Go to the wrong cemetery
So you know they've got no two funerals one is they a Fremantle one is up in a row when they arrive there
They should be a few at Fremantle. Yeah, you should be up in away
Well that's when they had to collect the bodies
You know it's it, and so just to be able to to get enough. You know to make it worthwhile
They had had to be three
three bodies in the back of the hearse one
So just taking it to the funeral parlor not there to the funeral well
They took it there know some of the people you know a bit sort of you know just
overweight and had three really heavy people and
so the poor hearse
It was actually so heavy in the back the metal of the front back bumper was actually scraping on the bitumen
And you can't actually stop and unload somebody and pick him up later, so they're in big trouble there
Or the other guy. They install this was in New York or San Francisco somewhere
You know they have these these lanes for two or more people
You know so you know the because so many people drive their cars only a single person in the car
And that's what causes also traffic and so some jurisdictions. They have lanes especially two or more people and
Then
policeman stopped a funeral hearse
there's only one driver in there and
the actually the driver took the police to court he
Said well, I had the guy in the back that makes two
Whom he lost his case some judges don't have a sense of humor, but anyway, okay, so hopefully that answers the questions
It's getting a bit late, so I'm just this so now
Is basically the bottom of the stack and then we can actually go and do whatever we need to do
[Chanting]