0:00:02.050,0:00:05.310 Some people going outside some people coming inside 0:00:07.660,0:00:11.609 Usually I try and make a quick estimate how many people go out and how many people come in 0:00:12.009,0:00:14.009 The moment is I'm at a loss 0:00:14.440,0:00:16.440 More people have gone out that come in 0:00:18.730,0:00:23.640 Maybe my charisma is not working today. Maybe I spent it all in Hong Kong and Singapore 0:00:25.840,0:00:27.840 He 0:00:28.660,0:00:34.680 Okay, yes few more coming in but of course many people actually watch these talks on online 0:00:36.340,0:00:39.329 So many people actually go overseas or watch you online 0:00:40.510,0:00:45.059 Which is very wonderful that we can share all of these talks 0:00:45.670,0:00:51.899 And online is much easier because if you're watching at home online if you don't like it you can always delete 0:00:52.570,0:00:57.809 But here you're not allowed to delete me. You're stuck with me for the whole 45 minutes 0:00:58.690,0:01:00.100 so 0:01:00.100,0:01:02.100 here we go I 0:01:03.549,0:01:05.549 Do have a fan oh 0:01:07.150,0:01:09.150 It doesn't work 0:01:09.400,0:01:11.400 Hey, hey 0:01:12.700,0:01:14.700 Okay 0:01:14.740,0:01:16.740 So 0:01:17.140,0:01:24.689 These talks on a Friday night as I often say you don't try and plan them just let them happen 0:01:25.509,0:01:28.769 And it's just know people say some things just 0:01:29.320,0:01:35.250 Beforehand or the last hour or two and it's just an obvious topic which keeps coming up and up and up and up 0:01:35.650,0:01:39.809 and the one today is you know the old one about stress I 0:01:40.509,0:01:42.839 Don't know why people are stressed out 0:01:43.899,0:01:45.899 We're stressing out about 0:01:46.450,0:01:52.019 Can't you this is your weekend? You don't have to work I do 0:01:53.920,0:02:00.089 That just come back for 11 days just working my butt off in Hong Kong 0:02:00.130,0:02:03.479 I shouldn't have any but left after all the hard work I do 0:02:04.119,0:02:09.988 But it's still there my nose to the grindstone. She know she should be flat by now and 0:02:11.170,0:02:13.170 Always accepting all these offers 0:02:13.410,0:02:15.410 Just say that as soon as you come back 0:02:15.490,0:02:21.689 There you have to just don't get some physiotherapy on your arm because people always twisting my arm to do this and to do that 0:02:22.570,0:02:24.570 but oh 0:02:25.510,0:02:27.510 Come on relax 0:02:28.570,0:02:34.049 Because a lot of times that you understand that you know you should be stressful 0:02:35.800,0:02:38.699 The amount of work you do, but you don't have to be 0:02:39.340,0:02:43.380 The stress has got nothing to do with how much work you have 0:02:43.930,0:02:50.369 It does nothing to do with all the problems you have in your life. It's nothing to do with all of this 0:02:50.370,0:02:52.370 It's not the world which is stressful 0:02:52.690,0:02:55.230 It is the way we look at it 0:02:55.450,0:03:00.839 This is a wonderful thing which you know a basic teaching and understanding you can learn 0:03:01.480,0:03:03.899 It's not the world is out to get you 0:03:04.660,0:03:10.260 It's just that sometimes. We don't understand and we react in a way, which is causes things to be worse 0:03:11.530,0:03:13.270 so 0:03:13.270,0:03:17.429 Instead of learning just to over react to life 0:03:18.220,0:03:20.050 because that's what an 0:03:20.050,0:03:22.050 inflammation and inflammation 0:03:22.660,0:03:28.740 no either of the immune system or an inflammation because you have a wound and 0:03:29.650,0:03:34.440 inflammation of your head because you know somebody said something you don't like or your 0:03:35.170,0:03:41.910 Expectations don't be met or people keep shouting at you and criticizing you all of those things 0:03:43.209,0:03:46.229 It's an overreaction to life 0:03:47.410,0:03:49.330 So we learn 0:03:49.330,0:03:54.630 Hopefully places by this just how number one to overcome stress 0:03:55.420,0:03:57.420 lower your 0:03:58.150,0:04:00.150 expectations 0:04:00.280,0:04:02.280 Simple things 0:04:02.560,0:04:04.560 when you go over to 0:04:04.630,0:04:06.839 one of the places I was over in Hong Kong 0:04:07.480,0:04:12.359 They're talking about how the children committing suicide. They're in these universities 0:04:13.840,0:04:18.899 Because now this is next to China in Hong Kong and it's a very very demanding 0:04:19.720,0:04:26.999 culture trying to get jobs trying to survive, and if you do think you live in a stressful environment in Perth 0:04:27.580,0:04:29.580 This is my heaven 0:04:29.710,0:04:35.489 Compared to the stresses, which people sometimes have to deal with in those countries 0:04:36.160,0:04:43.350 At least we have space at least we have a beach many beaches you know in a place of like Perth 0:04:43.870,0:04:47.489 But in some of these places or it's just really really tough 0:04:48.010,0:04:49.960 Wow 0:04:49.960,0:04:57.599 So first the voice because everybody wants, you know you have to succeed in life you have to get someone life 0:04:57.600,0:04:59.380 You have to be somewhere in life 0:04:59.380,0:05:05.430 That's what people think especially in the Chinese culture where your parental expectations are very high 0:05:05.770,0:05:09.990 And you do have this idea of filial piety you just want to look after your parents 0:05:10.990,0:05:13.439 But sometimes we don't know how to achieve that 0:05:15.520,0:05:22.949 So I was just saying that some of the some of the experiences which I remembered growing up 0:05:23.590,0:05:29.939 One of those experiences would haven't really mentioned that much all these memories keep coming back every now and again 0:05:30.550,0:05:34.859 You know that's when I was about 11 years 10 or 11 years of age 0:05:34.860,0:05:40.469 You know my primary school. I managed to get on the school football team 0:05:41.350,0:05:42.400 and 0:05:42.400,0:05:49.109 I was so proud of getting on the school football team playing on a Saturday morning, and when I told my dad 0:05:49.300,0:05:55.710 I'm on the school football team. He said you are wonderful when you're playing Saturday mornings 0:05:55.710,0:06:02.039 Is it aha I have to work on a Saturday morning, and if it it eleven-year-olds? 0:06:02.040,0:06:03.900 You're so crestfallen when he got on 0:06:03.900,0:06:07.559 The school's he was only at school football team primary school 0:06:07.560,0:06:14.970 But you felt me something and yet dad couldn't come to see you. Oh, that was so disappointing, but he had work to do 0:06:15.910,0:06:18.090 So you can imagine my delight? 0:06:19.180,0:06:26.160 When you had already started playing the soccer game the kickoff had already happened, and I turned around and there was my father 0:06:26.470,0:06:31.440 He was on the touchline cheering me on oh that meant so much to me 0:06:31.960,0:06:38.669 And then I asked him after the game said how come you managed to come here? I thought you had to work 0:06:39.490,0:06:41.759 And he said yes, I did have to work 0:06:42.669,0:06:46.288 But I know he was always very sick, so I told my boss 0:06:47.229,0:06:52.288 The doctor had asked me to have a series of injections every Saturday morning 0:06:54.520,0:06:59.490 He lied he wasn't a very honest man, but he was so kind and 0:07:01.990,0:07:03.990 I'll give him that 0:07:04.150,0:07:09.539 You know he was putting his job at risk to see his son play football 0:07:10.090,0:07:11.199 and 0:07:11.199,0:07:13.199 That meant so much to me 0:07:13.720,0:07:16.440 And that was the kindness he 0:07:17.080,0:07:19.289 education which I got from him 0:07:19.990,0:07:26.039 Disability to sacrifice because being with your family is so important but some of us think oh now 0:07:26.039,0:07:28.039 We've got to get you a really good education 0:07:28.870,0:07:31.470 and if and if you don't pass those exams 0:07:32.110,0:07:34.110 Then you have tuition 0:07:34.930,0:07:36.280 extra homework 0:07:36.280,0:07:37.960 keep keep 0:07:37.960,0:07:43.139 Pushing for the academic achievements and so you know we just do things all upside down 0:07:43.630,0:07:48.509 Do you really need academic achievers to get anywhere in life look at me? I got lots of academic 0:07:49.030,0:07:55.199 Achievements, and I haven't got anything in life. I live in a small cave I haven't got a house and got a car 0:07:55.199,0:07:57.269 I don't have any holidays 0:07:58.000,0:08:02.250 Honestly, I don't have holidays when I go to Hong Kong. It's teach teach teach work won't work 0:08:02.520,0:08:04.799 I don't sort of you know have any any 0:08:05.349,0:08:07.240 superannuation to worry about 0:08:07.240,0:08:12.359 You know if I lost my job in the Buddhist light at West Australia. I'll be on the street. I've got 0:08:13.240,0:08:15.240 No health insurance 0:08:16.330,0:08:18.330 Got nothing 0:08:18.340,0:08:19.539 except 0:08:19.539,0:08:22.049 beautiful memories of a kind father 0:08:22.870,0:08:24.820 kind friends 0:08:24.820,0:08:28.109 Kind people kind monks kind kids 0:08:29.740,0:08:33.060 Thank you and that is my inheritance 0:08:34.510,0:08:41.819 And so sometimes when we wonder about the stresses in life we get stressed out because we're searching for the wrong things in life 0:08:43.149,0:08:46.769 There we sometimes we should stop every day. What do anyone a 0:08:47.680,0:08:49.680 little question like that 0:08:49.990,0:08:52.440 Right now. What do you want in I? 0:08:53.319,0:08:58.049 Want to be rich come on that's never gonna happen, and if you are rich 0:08:59.560,0:09:02.669 That's not that is sometimes people saying oh 0:09:02.670,0:09:07.529 I win the lottery then I can I can do this and go there I can pay off all my debts 0:09:07.529,0:09:12.119 I can just you know what they say they say a compartment. You know that you've got powers 0:09:12.120,0:09:15.389 I know you've got powers, so just know a few numbers. That's all I wanna 0:09:16.750,0:09:18.459 palpable 0:09:18.459,0:09:22.378 They sometimes they are for these things. I'm not gonna be really really careful 0:09:23.470,0:09:29.129 Because I don't know what it is. I don't know why but sometimes when good lucks 0:09:31.329,0:09:36.568 They forget to keep but it is this was of this blessing once a 0:09:37.180,0:09:42.120 Friend of mine here. He said the friend of a friend one of the people who came here very often 0:09:42.120,0:09:47.909 And he's moved out of Perth now. He said one of his friends was opening up a small business 0:09:49.029,0:09:56.458 Can I come and bless the business for him and of course you know just a blessing is just just giving you extra energy? 0:09:57.040,0:09:59.040 You know making you feel good 0:09:59.079,0:10:05.039 Just like you know the your honor the grounds of the football stadium or the cricket pitch and you cheer on your team 0:10:05.040,0:10:11.040 Just my father cheered me on when I was playing soccer that meant a lot to me that made lifted up my spirit 0:10:11.040,0:10:13.680 So I decided to go and chant for this business 0:10:14.470,0:10:17.399 But you know I do get very busy sometimes and sometimes 0:10:17.399,0:10:24.688 I forget to ask what type of business is it and this was a lottery store I 0:10:27.069,0:10:29.069 Won't say which which 0:10:29.769,0:10:35.279 shopping center this was in but I went there just opening out first time and I 0:10:35.620,0:10:38.309 Really gave it a big full blessing 0:10:39.309,0:10:41.309 ajahn brahm superpower 0:10:41.350,0:10:44.759 And it was only about a year later two years later. I 0:10:45.939,0:10:52.199 read in the West Australian Saturday edition clue to get the Saturday paper here to find out what's going on and 0:10:53.019,0:10:55.019 There was a big article about this 0:10:55.540,0:10:57.100 the most 0:10:57.100,0:11:00.569 successful lottery outlet in Australia 0:11:01.540,0:11:06.880 And I realized oh my goodness the one that I blessed I 0:11:07.940,0:11:09.940 better not bless anymore 0:11:10.430,0:11:12.139 mother 0:11:12.139,0:11:16.629 But when people do get rich, what do you do with the wealth? It's just a 0:11:17.329,0:11:19.329 Lot of times you know that wealth 0:11:20.540,0:11:22.540 destroys your happiness 0:11:23.029,0:11:25.958 it doesn't actually just make you more happy I 0:11:26.839,0:11:31.599 Have lived I have visited. It's part of my job, and if an interesting life is a monk 0:11:32.269,0:11:35.379 Sometimes you go and see these incredibly wealthy people politicians 0:11:36.350,0:11:42.880 CEOs well the last time I went was in Hong Kong go to LinkedIn so now I've been to LinkedIn Facebook 0:11:43.910,0:11:49.630 Google what else is there must be a few others, which I'm supposed to do sorry Twitter. Yeah 0:11:50.930,0:11:53.560 Isn't Twitter part of I know that? 0:11:54.980,0:12:01.389 Donald Trump uses my Twitter a lot too much, but you know it is treatable 0:12:06.380,0:12:08.380 Okay very good 0:12:09.500,0:12:11.500 Bad jokes walk because 0:12:11.959,0:12:13.959 It's stupid 0:12:14.060,0:12:15.140 but anyway 0:12:15.140,0:12:19.779 Let's go to all these places meet always interesting people and what happens 0:12:20.180,0:12:23.260 Is sometimes some of these people and mega wealthy? 0:12:24.829,0:12:26.480 Billionaires 0:12:26.480,0:12:32.230 you know once I was I was at Parliament House in in Canberra a 0:12:33.140,0:12:38.049 state dinner with Queen Elizabeth the second Wow 0:12:39.079,0:12:46.689 And I went to the toilet like you have to do in the men's toilet in the urinal next to me 0:12:47.089,0:12:49.089 Was Lachlan Murdoch? 0:12:49.279,0:12:56.018 And I thought oh, I should have bought a donation envelope for the Buddha Society of Western stupid yeah 0:12:57.380,0:13:01.209 But I didn't have one with me, but anyway 0:13:02.899,0:13:04.010 So 0:13:04.010,0:13:10.449 You meet all this and there's one fellow. I just remember just going to give him in a blessing and his mansion 0:13:10.550,0:13:13.089 It was over in Kuala Lumpur somewhere 0:13:13.089,0:13:18.909 I won't say which guy this is I went to his mansion and there were guards with machine guns the guy 0:13:20.000,0:13:23.229 You know he was a private person just a tycoon 0:13:24.830,0:13:26.919 Guards at his gate huge 0:13:28.430,0:13:36.279 Huge walls see CCTV ninety-three two seats CCC saw something TVs and 0:13:37.640,0:13:39.640 guards everywhere 0:13:39.950,0:13:42.700 And I thought this is like going in a prison 0:13:43.519,0:13:44.950 And it was like a prison 0:13:44.950,0:13:51.789 He reminded me of a prison, so these guys are very very wealthy actually lived in their own private prisons 0:13:52.370,0:13:54.370 And they couldn't go anywhere by themselves 0:13:55.160,0:13:57.670 Always had to have somebody take them around 0:13:58.760,0:14:01.929 Bodyguards everywhere and so what type of life is that? 0:14:03.230,0:14:08.589 And I just remember growing up small. What was it called it's a council flat? 0:14:09.410,0:14:13.899 for really poor people in a part of London 0:14:14.089,0:14:19.599 Which I never knew that this was so many migrants went to my little primary school 0:14:20.120,0:14:21.670 No, there's Africans 0:14:21.670,0:14:27.070 I was member luahn ever he was from to make us somewhere really nice friend 0:14:27.410,0:14:29.800 There was people over from 0:14:30.800,0:14:32.230 from Sri Lanka 0:14:32.230,0:14:38.469 Can't remember this guy's name now, but all these are from Eastern Europe and from Asia 0:14:39.079,0:14:41.889 All these are people I didn't know 0:14:42.440,0:14:46.179 That in migrant areas were usually the poor areas 0:14:47.329,0:14:49.329 But they were my friends 0:14:49.370,0:14:50.600 and 0:14:50.600,0:14:53.409 My best friend it was a son of a milkman 0:14:53.839,0:15:00.039 So it's not exactly the highest-paid job in the world but he was my friend my mate 0:15:00.070,0:15:06.249 I just remembered to spending so many times. You know enjoying each other's playing soccer 0:15:06.800,0:15:08.890 But I also remembered my little apartment 0:15:10.130,0:15:14.380 You know this I'm not quite sure how you can how you can define this? 0:15:14.930,0:15:16.930 but and it was only just 0:15:17.209,0:15:24.369 Three or four rooms really small and I had to live in the same bedroom with my brother 0:15:25.100,0:15:29.320 And sometimes my parents would actually do have one of these 0:15:30.320,0:15:31.960 Make your beds 0:15:31.960,0:15:38.679 It was just that latter was the sulfur which converted into a badass only place. They could really sleep very very small 0:15:39.410,0:15:41.770 But it was small 0:15:42.890,0:15:44.890 It was so wonderful 0:15:44.930,0:15:51.039 Because I had to go up with my brother. I had to get on with him 0:15:51.649,0:15:53.739 Yeah, we would argue we would fight 0:15:54.500,0:15:58.239 But one thing I had learned is how to love somebody 0:15:59.690,0:16:03.070 how to the other thing I always remember was my parents 0:16:03.770,0:16:07.029 they were just no ordinary people they would argue and 0:16:07.700,0:16:11.649 Sometimes they would fight and sometimes they wouldn't speak to each other 0:16:13.490,0:16:17.289 In such a small house that couldn't last that long and 0:16:17.899,0:16:24.909 The kids were around as well. We'd start teasing white is speaking to daddy mummy come on mummy. You can say sorry 0:16:25.520,0:16:27.520 And eventually they would make up 0:16:28.100,0:16:32.320 they would hug, and they would kiss in front of my brother and I 0:16:33.230,0:16:35.230 know such a special moment I 0:16:35.839,0:16:41.499 Learned because it was such a small apartment. I learned that we do argue. We do have differences of opinion 0:16:42.290,0:16:45.550 and as we seen things from a different angle, but 0:16:46.640,0:16:48.640 Because we had no choice 0:16:49.640,0:16:52.869 We're too poor to afford a lawyer 0:16:54.380,0:16:56.380 So yeah, it's a makeup 0:16:57.620,0:16:59.620 We wish from head 0:16:59.660,0:17:07.179 But I saw them just kissing and hugging and saying sorry I learned such a wonderful teaching from that doesn't matter who's right and wrong 0:17:07.490,0:17:08.709 Which is actually a no? 0:17:08.709,0:17:15.039 We've got to live together so we kiss and make up and we enjoy each other's company, so small houses are really really important 0:17:16.790,0:17:20.739 So one of the reasons we have problems and stress 0:17:21.829,0:17:25.209 You know in a place like Perth our houses are too big? 0:17:27.709,0:17:30.159 Simple thing put more people in the house 0:17:34.250,0:17:37.420 Good then you learn how to get on together and have this beautiful 0:17:38.120,0:17:41.530 Family people you can rely upon maybe you can talk with 0:17:42.679,0:17:47.909 Know sometimes people I sit there Friday evening people talk about this. I talk about that 0:17:47.910,0:17:55.259 I don't know really what you're talking about, but I pretend to so yeah really that happened Wow yeah, I know sometimes 0:17:55.260,0:17:59.730 That's all people need just to be written know recognized and to be 0:18:00.250,0:18:02.250 received some kindness 0:18:02.530,0:18:04.620 some love and some respect 0:18:05.980,0:18:08.819 and that's what you learn living in a small place, but 0:18:09.760,0:18:16.110 You notice again. I was reminded of this tale because I just sang over a had dinner 0:18:16.110,0:18:18.629 I got lunch rather before 12 now 0:18:19.030,0:18:25.379 And you know that I would do remember once that there must have been at nine or ten or eleven that my we were 0:18:26.050,0:18:32.700 Legitimately poor because my father put a 1 pound note on this shelf above the coal fire 0:18:33.220,0:18:35.459 They didn't have electric fires 0:18:35.680,0:18:42.360 just have coal now to keep you warm during the really freezing winters and 0:18:43.720,0:18:49.289 This mother was sitting down their kids were myself and my brother doing homework or something 0:18:49.290,0:18:52.950 I don't know how this happened, but a gust of air 0:18:53.890,0:18:58.560 Just took that one pound note and it fell into the fireplace 0:18:59.200,0:19:01.200 and started burning 0:19:01.330,0:19:08.429 And my father just tried to get it out. He burned his hand and my mother's just started crying. Oh weeping 0:19:09.310,0:19:11.310 That was so much for them 0:19:11.890,0:19:15.120 So it also taught me now as a monk 0:19:15.970,0:19:18.329 Sometimes I give my other monks a bit of a hard time 0:19:18.340,0:19:20.160 No, you know. I've got to get a final 0:19:20.160,0:19:26.310 Okay, when this party at that project because I remember this how much money meant when I was really young so 0:19:28.060,0:19:33.269 Wonderful thing to them, but he didn't need the money because head is beautiful love and it wasn't stressful 0:19:34.540,0:19:36.540 My father did have time 0:19:36.730,0:19:38.849 to actually to watch his son playing soccer 0:19:39.550,0:19:46.259 They did have time just to talk with you and to be with you that is what we're missing 0:19:46.260,0:19:50.220 That's one of the reasons. We don't have what we do have too much stress in as well 0:19:51.280,0:19:53.280 Because we don't have each other 0:19:54.460,0:20:02.219 We actually just divided big houses number one means all in different rooms 0:20:03.850,0:20:10.199 How many people just share rooms these days even husbands and wives sometimes that they sleep in different bits 0:20:12.370,0:20:15.780 Even they have different rooms sometimes different houses 0:20:17.169,0:20:18.850 What's going on? 0:20:18.850,0:20:20.559 and then 0:20:20.559,0:20:24.989 Here you don't have anyone to argue with you don't have anyone to talk with either 0:20:25.720,0:20:31.319 So some of the reasons we have this stress over here is this and we're so divided and separated out 0:20:32.140,0:20:38.669 And because we have big house and you have to work so hard to pay the bills and so because we pay some bills 0:20:38.950,0:20:43.020 We don't have time to meet with one another this is a vicious cycle 0:20:44.169,0:20:49.649 so much work needs to be done to pay bills pay rates pray this pray that and just 0:20:50.559,0:20:55.199 For a big house where we don't see each other if we were living in the same house 0:20:55.200,0:20:58.289 We don't see each other because we're so busy even on a weekend 0:20:58.289,0:21:03.089 What are you doing this weekend how much stuff have you got to do. Can you just chill out this weekend? 0:21:03.820,0:21:05.820 No, why not? 0:21:05.830,0:21:07.830 It's your weekend. You're not supposed to work 0:21:09.309,0:21:10.360 So 0:21:10.360,0:21:11.380 our 0:21:11.380,0:21:12.460 lifestyle 0:21:12.460,0:21:15.659 These days it's always doing stuff so 0:21:16.270,0:21:20.159 much stuff there we get tired and stressed and 0:21:20.710,0:21:24.360 We think we have to get stressed in order to relax 0:21:26.169,0:21:33.869 Sometimes we work so hard so when this is done when I pay off the mortgage when my kids leave home 0:21:34.570,0:21:36.570 When the work is done on a Friday 0:21:37.210,0:21:43.169 Then when I pass my exams when I get the results from my my tests 0:21:43.539,0:21:46.619 On Thursday, well what if it is? 0:21:47.200,0:21:48.460 well 0:21:48.460,0:21:50.460 Then I'll be happy 0:21:50.650,0:21:55.559 And I sometimes you really really wonder when don't let people ever relax 0:21:56.590,0:21:59.159 This is I do travel around a lot 0:21:59.159,0:22:06.299 this is a saying which I often have just been to Hong Kong Kowloon Charton all over the place and 0:22:06.610,0:22:09.329 Singapore as well. These are supposed to be major 0:22:09.940,0:22:15.690 cities, but in all these places you go, and see it's very rare to see a human being 0:22:17.470,0:22:23.220 All you ever see is human goings and doings never actually being here and enjoying this moment a 0:22:23.799,0:22:26.549 Weekend just more work on a different type of work 0:22:27.429,0:22:30.629 So if you really want to overcome the stress of your life 0:22:31.840,0:22:33.840 You have to realize that 0:22:34.480,0:22:42.390 You're addicted to stress you're afraid of not doing stress you think that maybe if you relaxed everything will go wrong in your life 0:22:43.630,0:22:47.339 You know it doesn't go wrong. You just you don't have heart attacks 0:22:48.070,0:22:53.189 It doesn't go wrong. It just means you have more time with the people you love and care for it 0:22:53.710,0:22:57.240 Doesn't go wrong. Yes other people think you're really weird 0:22:58.090,0:23:01.439 Why is it? You've got two weeks lot of dangers staying at home? 0:23:02.649,0:23:04.979 Where are you going on the long weekend? 0:23:05.590,0:23:07.480 Nowhere I'm just being here 0:23:07.480,0:23:13.740 You're crazy go down to Margaret River go down to Bunbury go down a bodhinyana monastery 0:23:14.289,0:23:17.398 See the the monks a sa atm 0:23:18.010,0:23:20.010 We're doing that for 0:23:20.710,0:23:23.100 If you really want to see it with video it for you 0:23:23.620,0:23:28.319 So you can see it home. I can't understand where people travel about people ask me 0:23:28.899,0:23:35.699 There's mostly actually the Thai people for they're here. No ok good. They asked me before I left. They said you're going to Hong Kong 0:23:36.460,0:23:38.460 We're going to Hong Kong for you going shopping 0:23:41.480,0:23:44.319 Shopping or do you want to go shopping for? 0:23:46.249,0:23:48.249 Do you like going shopping 0:23:48.409,0:23:49.789 Why? 0:23:49.789,0:23:56.289 Not number one. I'm a monk number two. I'm a man so shopping to me. It's just I just know just weird 0:24:01.460,0:24:03.549 But you know you have to go through these airports 0:24:03.649,0:24:08.709 And then the airport just shopping centers these days you can't bypass them 0:24:09.080,0:24:15.819 Anyway all these things which I remember just walking just in Hong Kong and all the shops which I saw we're either 0:24:16.909,0:24:20.739 Closed shop mostly women's clothes shoe shops or food 0:24:21.860,0:24:24.039 And I said well, where's the monks shops? 0:24:25.159,0:24:28.148 you know can I get a verse such robe a 0:24:33.259,0:24:35.259 Gucci beanie 0:24:37.970,0:24:39.970 They didn't have any mug shops there 0:24:41.960,0:24:43.960 How many clothes you need a 0:24:45.019,0:24:46.909 nice thing of 0:24:46.909,0:24:50.859 Living a simple life. It just great being a simple mark 0:24:51.440,0:24:55.480 Just this is actually just this is my baggage 0:24:56.690,0:24:58.669 Thank you. It's about what? 0:24:58.669,0:25:03.609 About taken out I don't know if I'm taken up about this every time I come back to Perth Airport is brilliant 0:25:04.879,0:25:06.860 The guys know me there 0:25:06.860,0:25:08.450 No, they call me, Abba 0:25:08.450,0:25:14.950 So the guy this afternoon said Abba you you're back again. He said you should have your own aircraft by now 0:25:14.950,0:25:16.700 He told me this afternoon 0:25:16.700,0:25:18.399 And I said if I had you'd be out of a job 0:25:18.399,0:25:22.479 He said oh yes true, so I offered go they just walk the stroll through 0:25:23.450,0:25:25.629 You know because you haven't got enough to search 0:25:28.460,0:25:32.379 So its simplicity is a way to overcome stress 0:25:32.840,0:25:39.189 But why do we have so much stuff just in case we worry so much about the future what might happen 0:25:41.419,0:25:44.378 Yeah, what might happen you don't have to worry about anything 0:25:45.950,0:25:51.460 Because again, I think last two weeks ago and especially just last week because 0:25:53.540,0:25:55.599 Chinese year of the dock 0:25:57.050,0:26:00.519 So I have to quote the great American philosopher 0:26:02.120,0:26:04.120 Snoopy 0:26:04.400,0:26:08.769 And it's true mean these little animals that that sort of stuff you get from 0:26:09.320,0:26:12.700 The cartoons are just simple 0:26:13.550,0:26:19.719 Profound and everybody could understand it you just want you know just just read Nietzsche ki 0:26:19.720,0:26:25.150 Or Wittgenstein and it just screws up your head. They're always up to after a while, but anyway 0:26:25.700,0:26:27.350 Snoopy it's 0:26:27.350,0:26:35.140 Really profound and easy to understand one of the things he said which I was talking about which he said that 0:26:35.870,0:26:37.870 worrying about things 0:26:38.300,0:26:40.300 Never stops bad things happening 0:26:41.210,0:26:47.050 She worried about you. Don't worry about it bad things happen anyway, but it stops you enjoying the present 0:26:48.290,0:26:50.889 What are you worrying about thing? You're destroying your weekend 0:26:51.559,0:26:53.559 destroying being here 0:26:53.570,0:26:55.520 So it's not 0:26:55.520,0:26:57.579 The fact you've got lots of things to worry about 0:26:59.210,0:27:04.960 Other people do the worrying for you. Why not that's what the government is for to do the worrying 0:27:07.100,0:27:10.329 Your job is just to do is enjoy. That's what you pay your taxes for 0:27:11.630,0:27:13.370 so 0:27:13.370,0:27:15.370 You refuse 0:27:15.890,0:27:18.009 to worry on the weekend or 0:27:18.950,0:27:24.160 If you'd have a weekend jobs then no don't worry on Monday or Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday, whatever 0:27:24.800,0:27:27.609 So you know that reminds me with that story? 0:27:28.850,0:27:34.900 These things come up monks know all these stories and listen if you complain about 0:27:35.360,0:27:42.729 Me telling the same stories over and over and over again. I have to hear them more than anybody 0:27:46.700,0:27:52.240 So I know these stories, but anyway, so this is the the the migrant who came to Australia 0:27:53.059,0:27:57.189 And even though he was well educated had a lots of 0:27:57.830,0:28:02.050 Qualifications and when you come to a place like Australia your qualifications don't mean anything 0:28:04.070,0:28:06.070 And I'm bit worried about that 0:28:06.550,0:28:08.579 Because you know now you have to have a qualification 0:28:09.429,0:28:11.429 to teach mindfulness you 0:28:12.070,0:28:13.840 Got to be accredited 0:28:13.840,0:28:16.530 You got to go to a course and get a certificate 0:28:17.590,0:28:24.689 So it's only a matter of time when I won't be allowed to teach meditation because I haven't gone through a course 0:28:25.179,0:28:28.889 I've taught the people who teach the courses, but I haven't done the course myself 0:28:33.010,0:28:35.010 It's really weird this would be 0:28:36.790,0:28:38.790 This actually happened I remember 0:28:39.340,0:28:42.390 It's not here this evening yeah. He was the the chief 0:28:42.970,0:28:46.170 Psychiatrist some years ago over. It's great as hospital 0:28:46.170,0:28:50.999 You know one of our members here, and he told me this story that I've in Sydney University 0:28:51.000,0:28:56.160 I think he was not the same as Western Australia Western Australia is we're smart. I've been Sydney's absolutely 0:28:57.040,0:29:02.369 Ridiculous, they had this teacher this expert this professor of psychiatry 0:29:03.010,0:29:06.689 Coming over to Sydney University to lecture for one year 0:29:07.480,0:29:09.480 But because he was teaching 0:29:10.420,0:29:15.179 Psychiatry he had to be a member of the Royal College of Psychiatrists 0:29:16.390,0:29:18.390 Which means that his? 0:29:19.210,0:29:22.020 qualifications in the United States counted for nothing 0:29:22.840,0:29:28.770 He had to do an exam here in Sydney in Australia, so he could teach 0:29:30.790,0:29:36.449 And they gave him two books to study on which they would test him 0:29:36.760,0:29:43.229 And when they gave him this two books the first one he told his lamina. What's this? He said well 0:29:43.230,0:29:45.300 You've got to study it whose name is on that 0:29:45.820,0:29:48.000 It's me I wrote that book 0:29:50.500,0:29:56.520 He still had to study it and pass it I think he passed the exam on his own book that's gonna happen to me 0:29:56.520,0:30:01.979 I'm sure to be able to teach in this joint you're gonna have to mindfulness bliss and Beyond and stuff like that open the door 0:30:01.980,0:30:05.670 Of your heart, they're gonna. Give me a test on it. I wrote the Philippian thing, but anyway 0:30:05.670,0:30:08.999 That's the stupidity of our world these days, but anyway. Let's go back to the 0:30:09.550,0:30:10.750 stressing out 0:30:10.750,0:30:14.669 but just all these things that you know that so we 0:30:15.370,0:30:20.449 The future we can't plan and the past oh come on 0:30:21.330,0:30:25.370 Why do we linger on the process what causes our stress? 0:30:27.570,0:30:29.309 Remember stress 0:30:29.309,0:30:31.668 Is like the guitar string? 0:30:32.580,0:30:38.419 Pull on both directions to have stress. You've got to have something pulling it 0:30:39.539,0:30:41.539 if you let go 0:30:42.210,0:30:43.740 Nothing is pulling 0:30:43.740,0:30:46.760 Things relax, and there's no stress anymore 0:30:47.429,0:30:49.519 So what actually is pulling you? 0:30:50.160,0:30:52.160 making you feel stressed 0:30:53.159,0:30:55.159 It's fear 0:30:56.400,0:30:58.400 Mostly of the future 0:30:59.070,0:31:01.070 What might happen? 0:31:01.860,0:31:04.010 What will people think of me? 0:31:05.309,0:31:11.658 That's one of the great experiences. I had coming to Australia as a monk 0:31:12.900,0:31:14.900 Was how many years ago now? 0:31:15.299,0:31:20.538 33 34 years ago and 34 years ago now coming to Australia. It was actually waste that time 0:31:21.059,0:31:26.569 So norm is coming out of that time my 34th anniversary here in Australia when you first came here 0:31:27.960,0:31:32.240 No people took one look at you. They'd never seen a Buddhist monk in the streets 0:31:33.090,0:31:35.929 So sometimes they wanted to know what you're wearing that for 0:31:36.750,0:31:41.539 But I still remember the first place before we got this place here in no no Maura 0:31:41.840,0:31:49.819 We had a little house in for Magnolia Street in North Perth and I was working so hard 0:31:50.190,0:31:56.990 We would work over in Bodeen Jana monastery serpentine five days a week and on the weekend. We go to this little house 0:31:57.510,0:32:00.439 which was you could actually sleep there and 0:32:01.049,0:32:03.049 You could have a hot shower 0:32:03.809,0:32:09.619 Over there in banja animosity you get buckets and throw them over from the dam 0:32:09.900,0:32:12.229 Throw them over yourself in the evening to wash 0:32:13.020,0:32:15.020 And it was so cold 0:32:15.360,0:32:19.880 The wind was blowing the world it was chilly 0:32:20.640,0:32:23.299 And you you really knew how to wash away quickly 0:32:24.000,0:32:26.299 for anyhow on the weekend on 0:32:26.940,0:32:29.840 Sunday night on Monday morning we pack up water 0:32:29.840,0:32:33.950 We got all of the stuff to take down to the serpentine the monastery where we built it 0:32:33.950,0:32:39.049 And I still remember just packing up on Sunday afternoon evening 0:32:39.360,0:32:44.029 Putting out this beacon of the old combi van savvy couple years all those were really really good 0:32:44.100,0:32:46.399 We packed up so much stuff in that 0:32:47.070,0:32:50.689 Compound I remember going to the old wood yard at Jared oh 0:32:51.210,0:32:56.149 You have a big timber yard there. We get the timber toss snow fresh sawn 0:32:56.700,0:33:02.629 We go around the back way the long way around because our little van was so 0:33:03.510,0:33:05.340 overloaded right 0:33:05.340,0:33:08.090 And the inside there absolutely jam-packed 0:33:08.220,0:33:15.559 On the roof as well really high if ever you seen I remember seeing on the only the rows I think in Indonesia 0:33:15.690,0:33:17.690 the mr. Bean 0:33:17.790,0:33:22.850 sketch we had a little carnie packed everything really up the top there that was like us I 0:33:24.150,0:33:31.280 Remember after we packed all this in our combi van the head of the timber mill said you guys must do a lot of pray? 0:33:31.560,0:33:33.710 To get that back to where you belong 0:33:35.220,0:33:38.809 And it was true, but anyway when we were packing up in North curse 0:33:39.330,0:33:43.189 This little 14 year old girl came out roughly about 14 0:33:43.380,0:33:48.920 She was visiting her grandma in the house next door and she came up and looked at me with 0:33:49.920,0:33:54.860 All the disgust only a teenage girl can actually give 0:33:55.470,0:33:57.470 She had her hands on her hips 0:33:57.840,0:34:00.049 and look me up and down I 0:34:00.690,0:34:08.539 Can't do disgust, but you know really yeah, and he said looked at me and said you're dressed like a girl 0:34:09.570,0:34:11.570 That's sick 0:34:14.190,0:34:18.740 She was really trying to upset me because I can see her point you know you're wearing a skirt 0:34:19.590,0:34:24.110 And a bald head, but girls don't wear board heads. I'm uh sort of beanie on or something, but anyway 0:34:24.900,0:34:27.259 She was really disgusted authoress was so funny 0:34:28.080,0:34:33.920 So anyway, it is we were just know having tutors or the other time when I was visiting a cousin 0:34:34.560,0:34:42.410 Know that cousin eight. He came here to visit many years ago in stoke-on-trent. That's where he lived and so 0:34:43.169,0:34:47.969 During their spending time with your loved ones with your friends, so instead of staying in here 0:34:47.970,0:34:54.059 We meditate we went for a walk walk on a Sunday morning as a beautiful day walking down the streets 0:34:54.609,0:35:01.259 And I don't know what it is about me must have some sort of charisma, but people were supporting at me and smiling and laughing 0:35:02.380,0:35:06.540 And I just making people laugh as a great as a great skill 0:35:07.630,0:35:11.430 But it was actually more people pointing and laughing at me than usual 0:35:11.980,0:35:15.270 And so I didn't really want to know what was going on well 0:35:15.270,0:35:18.989 You know one badly dressed or something or but no 0:35:18.990,0:35:22.679 They were just laughing at me all the time and then when we turned a corner 0:35:22.680,0:35:27.629 I found out why there's this big billboard a big sight the circus was in town 0:35:28.750,0:35:31.229 And they thought I must have been one of the clowns 0:35:34.630,0:35:37.890 And I did what make people happy is fine by me 0:35:38.410,0:35:43.020 So anyway just sometimes what do people think of you 0:35:44.950,0:35:46.950 Do you really care what? 0:35:47.829,0:35:49.829 Is your boss think of you 0:35:50.470,0:35:55.980 What is your your friends think of you and sometimes? We just so? 0:35:56.740,0:35:58.740 afraid of our 0:35:59.230,0:36:04.919 Reputation what other people think of us that we have to be fashionable we have to have good clothes 0:36:05.319,0:36:07.529 We have to just know fit in 0:36:08.680,0:36:15.720 As another little memory of mine when I was really into rock music when I was young and used to have these big 0:36:16.240,0:36:19.139 concerts remember going to the the Isle of Wight 0:36:19.900,0:36:21.900 rock festival 0:36:22.299,0:36:23.740 1970 0:36:23.740,0:36:30.599 So the famous rock festival and I had to be cool, so I had green velvet jeans 0:36:32.890,0:36:39.329 When I went down there I found I thought I was being rebellious, I thought I was being individual 0:36:39.329,0:36:42.539 I thought I was just just rebelling 0:36:43.540,0:36:46.649 against convention setting a new style 0:36:47.290,0:36:53.549 And when I went down there I found thousands of other people had green velvet jeans 0:36:55.450,0:36:58.139 It is another type of uniform 0:36:58.989,0:37:00.130 so 0:37:00.130,0:37:02.519 Instead of worrying what other people think of you 0:37:03.369,0:37:05.369 You can actually be free of that 0:37:05.799,0:37:09.329 Be someone who is at peace with yourself 0:37:10.720,0:37:14.309 too much that people are worried about 0:37:15.670,0:37:17.670 their appearances 0:37:17.680,0:37:20.430 Or again, how they come across to other people? 0:37:21.640,0:37:23.640 the goodness sake what other people like 0:37:24.640,0:37:26.640 Is not your hairstyle 0:37:27.039,0:37:32.728 You know this used to be really weird and now it's really common, so how many people copy monks 0:37:34.390,0:37:36.249 Where no 0:37:36.249,0:37:38.519 We some of us have patches 0:37:38.829,0:37:44.939 You know you've got patches in your robe haven't you there are lots of crutches in Israel you see we've really fashionable 0:37:47.650,0:37:50.639 Fashion leaders trendsetters, but anyway 0:37:51.640,0:37:56.519 Anyway, it is because we don't really care or worry what other people think of us we can relax 0:37:56.519,0:38:00.419 We should be happy we can be at peace and that is why people 0:38:00.969,0:38:02.969 like hear 0:38:03.279,0:38:08.639 What people like to to hang around with is that people are relaxed? 0:38:08.950,0:38:12.210 Confident at peace with themselves at ease with themselves 0:38:13.180,0:38:18.089 So if you want to be fashionable if you're gonna be attractive he one of people that think well of you 0:38:19.420,0:38:21.420 relax 0:38:21.460,0:38:23.759 Be confident smile more 0:38:24.819,0:38:26.140 so 0:38:26.140,0:38:28.829 Such a simple teaching even last night 0:38:29.769,0:38:32.399 Somebody was saying she's heard me in Singapore 0:38:32.559,0:38:39.419 They heard me giving all these talks, but still she's anxious and depressed and sometimes that she sleeps in in the morning 0:38:40.180,0:38:42.989 Because she's afraid of getting out of bed and going to work 0:38:45.160,0:38:50.609 It's so easy solution just because is simple does not mean it doesn't work 0:38:52.150,0:38:54.150 Simple powerful 0:38:55.029,0:38:58.829 Because this is what I was taught for two years by a meditation teacher when I was still a student 0:38:59.589,0:39:02.129 Said when you get up in the morning, what do you do? 0:39:02.739,0:39:09.659 And go to toilet great. Is there a mirror in your toilet of course there's a mirror in the toilet and my teacher? 0:39:09.730,0:39:13.139 Toby I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and 0:39:13.750,0:39:15.750 smile at yourself 0:39:16.210,0:39:22.619 And I told my teacher get real. I'm a student. You know you look at teenagers or 20 year olds 0:39:22.750,0:39:24.750 What do they look like in the morning? 0:39:25.090,0:39:27.240 Really grumpy miserable me 0:39:28.240,0:39:33.030 Especially they've been drinking alcohol staying up late at night like I used to do it no Stace 0:39:33.030,0:39:38.189 I said sir if I looked at myself in the mirror in the morning first thing. I probably scream 0:39:40.510,0:39:42.629 And he said smart yourself 0:39:43.360,0:39:47.910 Impossible and that's when he told me things this great teacher 0:39:49.030,0:39:51.030 simple 0:39:51.040,0:39:53.309 Two fingers and push up 0:39:54.070,0:39:56.070 That's what he taught me 0:39:56.110,0:39:58.110 So I did that for two years 0:39:58.630,0:40:01.410 Two years I followed that and every morning 0:40:02.200,0:40:04.919 You got up there and looked at the mirror 0:40:05.860,0:40:09.540 Impart to fingers up and this saw this stupid young man 0:40:10.060,0:40:17.340 Smiling making a face in the mirror and when you when you do that. You know if I make a face. Yeah, it's working 0:40:17.340,0:40:18.850 You're smarting now 0:40:18.850,0:40:25.260 You do that to yourself everybody don't need anybody and then after a while you smile smile smile. I started laughing at myself 0:40:25.330,0:40:27.330 I laughed at myself 0:40:27.790,0:40:29.790 every morning for two years 0:40:31.120,0:40:33.930 And this is kind of stuck now 0:40:37.180,0:40:39.450 Which means that yay didn't feel good 0:40:39.550,0:40:44.550 He felt tired bit of a hangover busy day social life 0:40:44.550,0:40:49.379 But Isis Mart every morning that was incredible for making you healthy 0:40:51.130,0:40:54.390 Incredible for attracting really hot girlfriends 0:40:55.420,0:40:59.399 It was a lot people smiley it was great for passing exams 0:41:00.190,0:41:05.190 It was even great. I learned this okay when I was playing sports 0:41:05.380,0:41:07.920 I did actually play sport every now and again 0:41:07.920,0:41:14.819 I don't know why I did this actually because they had to know the in Cambridge have the boats the ACE I 0:41:15.700,0:41:18.480 Never did the boat race that was just too ridiculous 0:41:18.480,0:41:22.889 You know you don't that was just too full on but disorderly racing 0:41:23.170,0:41:27.960 And just me in the boat and a race in pulling the soil a long way and after a while 0:41:27.960,0:41:31.800 It was really hard, and I wasn't really in certain to getting fits 0:41:32.500,0:41:36.510 You noticed it's a bit of fun, but as an exercise but not super fit 0:41:37.060,0:41:43.799 So no what happened there was a little coach the coach was on his bicycle had a megaphone. He shouted out at me 0:41:44.290,0:41:52.019 He said you're making an ugly face smile and when you're really struggling physically of course you do make ugly faces 0:41:53.500,0:42:01.439 And I learned something great from that coach worthwhile all of that. You know doing the the training for rowing in an eight 0:42:02.410,0:42:05.340 And what I learned that when you smile the? 0:42:06.250,0:42:10.560 Or is so easy to pull I've got a boost of energy 0:42:11.530,0:42:15.870 Paint has dissipated. I smiled and the oil had more energy and 0:42:16.900,0:42:21.449 That was such an important at all teaching ask any psychologists that even doctors 0:42:21.450,0:42:28.919 I don't know. How it works if you've got a really really hard walk your cycling. You're running. You're exercising. You're 0:42:29.650,0:42:32.580 Working to snoo have a really important meeting smile 0:42:35.020,0:42:39.449 And then your boss will not know what you're up to 0:42:41.130,0:42:47.119 Smart over that he thinks damn him he knows something I don't what's the answer? 0:42:48.749,0:42:55.189 That's my thing it's so important so easy that takes away your stress 0:42:57.359,0:43:02.659 Even little things like doing exams and tests interviews you smile 0:43:04.470,0:43:08.569 Because people like people who smile it if you're hiring somebody 0:43:09.269,0:43:15.559 You're gonna employ somebody at work. Are you gonna employ someone who's just got a miserable face a sourpuss 0:43:16.259,0:43:20.238 You've got enough of them back at home when you're at work you guys 0:43:21.210,0:43:26.449 You as somebody is uplifting smartie and it changes a whole 0:43:27.269,0:43:29.779 Workplace and you don't get so 0:43:30.660,0:43:32.660 stressed because 0:43:34.619,0:43:37.459 When you are smarting enjoying this moment 0:43:39.509,0:43:43.248 You don't have to worry about what's gonna happen in the future 0:43:45.509,0:43:53.478 This is something which the Buddha said the only reason why you think about the future is because you're not enjoying the present 0:43:54.779,0:44:00.079 If you can even just be and enjoy this moment which you have right now 0:44:00.809,0:44:02.700 Smile at it 0:44:02.700,0:44:04.700 You don't need to worry about the future 0:44:05.999,0:44:11.659 Worrying about the future is not being responsible. It's actually escaping 0:44:14.460,0:44:17.239 Because you're not here you're not enjoying this moment 0:44:18.119,0:44:20.899 And some won't be well you know this moment is not really good 0:44:21.140,0:44:26.539 I got aches pains things are going wrong doesn't matter. This is all you've got 0:44:28.410,0:44:30.410 So when you're worried 0:44:30.989,0:44:38.209 When all the worry about the future doesn't stop bad things happening. He just stops you enjoying 0:44:39.089,0:44:41.089 What you already have right now? 0:44:42.599,0:44:44.160 Snoopy 0:44:44.160,0:44:45.539 Elgin 0:44:45.539,0:44:47.899 Snoopy the great master 0:44:49.050,0:44:51.050 Who lived in little dog house? 0:44:51.300,0:44:57.409 Ate out of a bowl I live in a bigger house not that much bigger called a cootie or a cave 0:44:57.540,0:45:02.269 But I eat out of a bowl just like Snoopy and I go for a walk every Saturday morning 0:45:03.119,0:45:05.119 It's called arms round 0:45:06.240,0:45:13.339 But this is actually how we can overcome the stress in life, it doesn't mean that you have to do 0:45:14.460,0:45:16.460 I'll give up your job 0:45:16.950,0:45:23.030 Doesn't mean you have to give up your partner doesn't mean you have to give up your kids and no 0:45:24.030,0:45:29.269 Ordain them listen. We know what people do I saw through this scam is a scam 0:45:29.849,0:45:33.139 Because well, it's not really a scam, but I call it a scam 0:45:33.660,0:45:38.030 Because when it came the holiday times in places like Malaysia 0:45:38.940,0:45:40.859 sometimes in Thailand 0:45:40.859,0:45:45.739 They would get their children to actually spend two or three weeks in a monastery 0:45:46.140,0:45:49.190 Ordaining as a novice monk or even novice nuns 0:45:50.490,0:45:54.709 Wonderful thing so we could take your children two or three weeks 0:45:54.990,0:45:58.669 They ordained as a novice we trained them 0:45:59.220,0:46:04.790 Discipline them feed them, and they come home much nicer kids 0:46:05.730,0:46:13.219 At the same time you've got two or three weeks. We can go on a holiday or visit your homeland 0:46:13.799,0:46:17.959 Knowing that your children have really well looked after you don't have anything to our 0:46:18.510,0:46:20.510 free child care 0:46:27.599,0:46:32.088 So we have to look after your little work all the different monsters, but 0:46:34.440,0:46:37.549 They're very nice little kids, but anyway, so 0:46:39.119,0:46:44.119 Why do you just stay with the people you're always there good enough for your kids 0:46:44.910,0:46:50.389 Spend time with them. Just like my father spent time with me just watching a football match 0:46:51.089,0:46:53.689 It's amazing just how I remember death 0:46:54.599,0:46:57.019 And as I cherish that 0:46:58.109,0:47:00.828 These are the things which you teach your children 0:47:01.990,0:47:06.209 The things which you learn from your partner your knife 0:47:07.960,0:47:12.000 You don't look at what goes wrong, and I think of all the times you had a wonderful evening 0:47:12.760,0:47:15.719 If you've got a partner and you've had a wonderful time together 0:47:16.839,0:47:22.798 Please keep thinking about that. Why why did that work? Why did you have a wonderful time with her or him? 0:47:23.980,0:47:26.849 When it all goes wrong, please forget about that 0:47:27.910,0:47:30.930 Because you learn from successes not learn from mistakes 0:47:32.230,0:47:35.339 This is an important part of him having no stress 0:47:36.069,0:47:43.259 But apparently I know teachers if businesses go all this business is not just LinkedIn and Google and other stuff 0:47:43.630,0:47:47.369 But you know what happens is that when anything goes wrong? 0:47:48.039,0:47:52.528 We keep on having meeting after meeting after meeting it went wrong it shouldn't have gone wrong 0:47:52.529,0:47:59.909 Why did it go wrong? You're to blame out no your mistake out you know when things go wrong just 0:48:00.880,0:48:02.880 Forget about it 0:48:03.250,0:48:05.969 Don't blame anybody, but when things go right 0:48:06.970,0:48:09.299 There is when to have the meetings 0:48:10.059,0:48:16.559 why did it go right and who was responsible me me me me yeah and 0:48:18.250,0:48:23.669 We learn for what goes right in life we learn not from stress 0:48:24.490,0:48:26.729 But those moments when you don't have stress 0:48:27.819,0:48:33.479 When they were a beautiful evening a beautiful day a beautiful weekend 0:48:34.450,0:48:36.099 We learned 0:48:36.099,0:48:38.578 Not from the negative from the positive 0:48:39.220,0:48:44.069 Which is one of the reasons? Why somebody once asked me what I did more. What did that talk? 0:48:44.200,0:48:46.589 What's the difference between letting go and letting be? 0:48:47.230,0:48:51.209 Letting go is just letting go of complaining and controlling letting go of fear 0:48:51.849,0:48:56.159 When you let go of all of that what's left. That's when you let things be 0:48:56.859,0:48:58.859 But sometimes we just look at let it be 0:48:59.829,0:49:01.829 Just let this weekend be 0:49:02.349,0:49:04.349 And if you are peaceful happy 0:49:05.140,0:49:07.260 if you smile are your kids 0:49:08.380,0:49:11.099 instead of complaining about them spend time with a 0:49:11.710,0:49:15.210 Connect with them connect with yourself connect whether weekend 0:49:15.760,0:49:20.010 Connect with your body so I can feel healthy connect with your mind it needs peace in his rest 0:49:21.280,0:49:26.070 then you find it'll be so efficient in this world you get so much done but 0:49:27.760,0:49:29.760 Without any stress I 0:49:31.150,0:49:33.450 Am a high achiever muck 0:49:34.780,0:49:38.519 There's so many organizations is not just put us aside in Western, Australia 0:49:39.910,0:49:44.069 Just over in Hong Kong. It's called Biff 0:49:45.340,0:49:50.250 bodhinyana International Foundation and the people they're called b'fer's I 0:49:51.850,0:49:53.530 Made the bigness 0:49:53.530,0:49:56.190 And they're doing really amazing this is how much? 0:49:56.800,0:50:04.200 Stuff which I do over there how many people come to the talks in the newspapers and just some videos and goodness knows in 0:50:04.630,0:50:06.630 universities and 0:50:06.850,0:50:12.029 Where were sudoko not just linked in the fallen correspondents Club. It's really cool 0:50:12.220,0:50:14.879 What is people just they keep coming back and? 0:50:16.180,0:50:22.079 you enjoy yourself, and you give and it works and 0:50:23.020,0:50:25.740 Singapore's two groups over there Brom sent him 0:50:26.470,0:50:28.470 a Buddhist fellowship 0:50:28.480,0:50:30.400 They're flourishing 0:50:30.400,0:50:34.980 There are how many toes how many people who had talked last night that to 3,000 people I? 0:50:35.920,0:50:37.920 Know wondering this was on a Thursday 0:50:38.620,0:50:41.249 Night in Singapore they disc so buddy 0:50:42.190,0:50:47.940 They were giving up that their evening meal straight from work straight to the talk for three hours. They were there 0:50:49.030,0:50:51.030 amazing just 0:50:51.610,0:50:53.610 So I have all that responsibility 0:50:54.760,0:50:56.650 All those groups 0:50:56.650,0:50:58.390 group over in England 0:50:58.390,0:51:01.740 Group over with I've got the brown Center 0:51:02.260,0:51:09.749 You know Blum Society in Colombo, I got the a bicycle. Let's see my group over in, Indonesia 0:51:10.300,0:51:13.440 those different things a si Australia Sangha Association 0:51:13.960,0:51:17.519 Monks and nuns in from all over all traditions over 0:51:18.190,0:51:19.750 in 0:51:19.750,0:51:23.940 Coming this weekend. You've got the Buddha Society Victoria 0:51:24.760,0:51:29.370 That's from the spiritual adviser so many advisers so many things to do 0:51:32.740,0:51:34.740 But do I look stressed 0:51:38.200,0:51:40.200 So 0:51:42.040,0:51:44.040 Yes my Lyle 0:51:44.890,0:51:51.480 So sometimes I get tired, but even just coming over a long flight not that well. I had to get out early in the morning 0:51:52.090,0:51:54.719 to actually get the plane, I just come back here and 0:51:55.240,0:51:57.240 Then this is how you deal with? 0:51:58.060,0:52:02.219 life both stress both ends loose 0:52:02.860,0:52:05.339 Happy smiling and resilience 0:52:06.010,0:52:11.879 Something like that goes wrong. You don't get angry when this guitar string has no tension 0:52:13.240,0:52:15.899 Subject hits it something goes wrong 0:52:16.780,0:52:18.780 You get fired by the police 0:52:19.210,0:52:21.210 somebody hits your car 0:52:22.030,0:52:26.519 people say things you don't want you get a letter from the 0:52:27.010,0:52:31.439 Police or and letter from the tax office or saga when things go wrong 0:52:32.860,0:52:36.149 It's only because we're so stressed. We've got no resilience 0:52:37.240,0:52:44.729 Guitar string fully stretched Bing, but it makes a really high-pitched really nasty sound you have no stress at all 0:52:45.430,0:52:47.430 guitar string fully loose 0:52:47.650,0:52:49.060 ping 0:52:49.060,0:52:51.060 Doesn't make any noise at all 0:52:51.400,0:52:53.400 You don't react 0:52:54.280,0:52:56.280 When you're relaxed 0:52:56.590,0:52:58.590 When you're tense 0:52:58.780,0:53:05.399 When it is so tight one more thing one more thing you just say one more thing and then you explode 0:53:06.550,0:53:08.550 that is where I enter : 0:53:09.520,0:53:11.080 from stress 0:53:11.080,0:53:14.069 To anger will destroy so much from anger 0:53:14.770,0:53:18.659 So much of our friendships ourselves even our world 0:53:19.330,0:53:22.529 so de-stress easy and 0:53:23.230,0:53:25.230 the photo is coming with the 0:53:25.390,0:53:26.470 the 0:53:26.470,0:53:33.090 The pad and the microphone so I know so he doesn't stress out will finish now 0:53:33.880,0:53:37.590 So let's have some questions so side to side to side - here we go 0:53:41.540,0:53:43.540 So 0:53:52.400,0:53:57.549 That's how to de-stress okay, let's see what complaints we got over here 0:53:59.690,0:54:03.129 Probably from all the psychiatrist's of stress therapists, I'm putting them out of business 0:54:04.610,0:54:08.079 From Stephanie. What is the best way to overcome panic attacks? 0:54:08.080,0:54:11.950 I have suffered 18 years my entire life has been this and it saddens me greatly 0:54:12.980,0:54:20.589 Firm panic attacks one of my friends who was a monk many years ago. He was in the US Marines in the Vietnam War 0:54:22.160,0:54:25.509 He had because he was shot in the back of the head 0:54:26.210,0:54:28.210 And had some brain damage 0:54:28.280,0:54:36.009 Otherwise is a wonderful monk very kind, but he had epileptic fits because of the injury being shortened though in a head 0:54:36.740,0:54:41.740 how he dealt with his epileptics have hits similar way to overcome the panic attacks 0:54:42.710,0:54:44.710 Because he was aware 0:54:45.020,0:54:48.580 Mindful he could actually catch those fits 0:54:49.250,0:54:55.570 Earlier and earlier and earlier he could see the signs. He could be aware to see how it works because 0:54:56.330,0:54:58.600 The fits never just came out of the blue 0:54:59.120,0:55:00.800 they had the 0:55:00.800,0:55:05.680 introduction of the little bits getting more tense more tense he could actually feel it coming 0:55:07.100,0:55:12.700 It took for a couple of years before he could catch it early enough 0:55:13.760,0:55:15.760 He could take another path 0:55:17.720,0:55:24.609 Relax used to go to his room darken the room just lay down and just relaxed as much as he could and then 0:55:25.520,0:55:27.700 after a while no more epileptic fits 0:55:29.570,0:55:37.090 He used mindfulness to see the whole process of a fit happening even panic attacks 0:55:38.420,0:55:41.799 They don't just come out of the blue you may think they do 0:55:42.440,0:55:49.599 if you're more aware you can actually see the process when they start to build and build and build and build and 0:55:50.000,0:55:52.000 If you can catch them early 0:55:52.400,0:55:54.400 You can find another path 0:55:55.760,0:56:00.429 So you don't go down that same habitual routes of panic attacks 0:56:02.210,0:56:04.270 That's one of the great things about awareness 0:56:05.750,0:56:07.640 It gives you the feedback 0:56:07.640,0:56:13.930 It gives you alternatives, so you're not just a creature of habit. You could explore and do things differently 0:56:15.500,0:56:17.500 From the Philippines 0:56:18.110,0:56:20.110 What if 0:56:20.480,0:56:26.260 What if the stress you're experiencing is coming from the president of your country and his supporters I 0:56:27.530,0:56:30.850 Tried not to be involved, but I can't stand not to care 0:56:31.700,0:56:35.290 Well even our Buddha Society of Western Australia. We have a precedence 0:56:36.020,0:56:37.550 well 0:56:37.550,0:56:39.550 He's a good read 0:56:39.770,0:56:41.770 so the stress of your 0:56:42.170,0:56:45.159 country if there's something to do 0:56:45.710,0:56:48.370 Then do it give everything you've got 0:56:50.960,0:56:58.810 Don't wanna go okay stressed so but if there's something you can do then do it 0:57:00.350,0:57:06.489 Yeah, but that's what kids are like you know that kids are like that same as presidents 0:57:10.040,0:57:13.810 Was they say the old saying about politicians are like newborn babies 0:57:15.350,0:57:18.999 They have all like the nappies of newborn babies they have to be changed regularly 0:57:20.960,0:57:22.960 For that that's your the exception 0:57:25.520,0:57:27.520 Yeah 0:57:27.890,0:57:29.890 But anyway 0:57:30.590,0:57:34.779 You from the if you this is a 0:57:35.570,0:57:37.570 poem from William Blake 0:57:38.240,0:57:40.449 This is a read on purpose as 0:57:40.760,0:57:41.900 different parts as 0:57:41.900,0:57:47.710 Part of that poem Oh from quote to see a world in a grain of sand to heaven in a wild flower hold infinity in 0:57:47.710,0:57:53.379 The palm of your hand eternity in an hour that is really about mindfulness and the joy of it, but also 0:57:54.050,0:57:58.810 he wrote that vengeance to the tyrant fled and 0:57:59.600,0:58:02.829 caught the tyrant in his bed and 0:58:03.620,0:58:06.989 slew the wicked one's head and 0:58:07.720,0:58:10.139 Became a tyrant in his stead 0:58:11.770,0:58:13.800 And I was just in a seventeenth-century 0:58:14.740,0:58:18.569 That's what happens people go into such politics 0:58:19.300,0:58:26.039 Especially presence of country and men's people actually go into that position. They go in there trying to do some good 0:58:27.609,0:58:30.449 But sometimes the old saying of power collapse 0:58:32.020,0:58:37.020 Absolute power corrupts absolutely that was Lord Acton because that was you know he apparently that in the 0:58:37.210,0:58:42.810 Suburb where I grew up that was actually where and I was accent and there was he had his big mansion there 0:58:43.630,0:58:46.980 But now it's a long time ago, but that's power 0:58:47.980,0:58:49.450 collapse yeah 0:58:49.450,0:58:50.920 but if 0:58:50.920,0:58:52.920 You use violence 0:58:53.079,0:58:58.679 And you get angry and stress to try and get rid of those presidents 0:58:59.890,0:59:02.129 You become the same 0:59:03.220,0:59:05.760 They bring you down to their level 0:59:07.150,0:59:09.150 That's been our history of our world 0:59:10.000,0:59:14.099 Overthrowing tyrants, and then we installed another tyrant 0:59:15.460,0:59:17.460 Is there another way? 0:59:19.990,0:59:24.060 From the USA corner bosom our stress and trauma forms of spiritual 0:59:24.339,0:59:27.959 pathology or something needs to be acknowledged and contemplated first 0:59:28.119,0:59:32.549 How does one come to trigger that guys that are simply suppressing the difficult emotions? 0:59:33.280,0:59:39.599 This is just like mistakes in life often say this you have not each miss gate mistakes 0:59:40.780,0:59:42.899 You're not even first of all forgive them 0:59:42.900,0:59:47.700 You don't make the mistake another reason for feeling bad about yourself 0:59:48.040,0:59:55.259 Which is where we get suppressing from knowledge yet forgive it this. No. There's nothing wrong with this nothing evil 0:59:55.260,1:00:00.179 It's not against the precepts - but it's not against the law don't get put in jail for being stressed 1:00:02.530,1:00:04.530 You get put in hospital 1:00:05.140,1:00:07.170 so first of all you acknowledge it and 1:00:08.050,1:00:14.429 Forgiving it. It's means you. Just don't punish punishment is one of the terrible things which causes more stress in this world 1:00:15.040,1:00:18.179 He someone asked me in Hong Kong. Do you believe in punishment? I said just know 1:00:18.770,1:00:19.380 a 1:00:19.380,1:00:22.549 Really absolute definite answer which was quite shocking to them 1:00:23.220,1:00:26.570 what about really bad people the punishment just makes them worse and 1:00:27.270,1:00:31.669 When I was punished or died all I learned when I was punished at school for making a mistake 1:00:32.250,1:00:35.989 Was to make sure I don't get caught next time 1:00:37.470,1:00:40.459 It was just like learn how to be more smart and sneaky 1:00:42.210,1:00:44.840 So quite um there were from the acknowledgement 1:00:45.930,1:00:50.630 Forgiven, it's part of life to make mistakes and even stress and trauma 1:00:51.570,1:00:56.659 Mistakes happen in life. There's no the the the dogshit for the mango tree 1:00:57.360,1:00:59.360 but 1:00:59.400,1:01:05.060 We learn from it. It's a learning which is a growth in spirituality 1:01:05.760,1:01:11.179 Stress and trauma it happens we have to learn from it not 1:01:11.850,1:01:13.260 contemplated 1:01:13.260,1:01:15.260 contemplate too much thinking 1:01:15.360,1:01:17.360 explored 1:01:17.970,1:01:19.560 Understood 1:01:19.560,1:01:22.159 Really just walk on right into 1:01:22.740,1:01:28.490 so we understand how it works just like sit with that panic attacks or with a guy with who had the 1:01:29.340,1:01:31.340 epileptic fits 1:01:31.500,1:01:33.500 explore it 1:01:33.510,1:01:37.610 Understand there and what you have understand it you have powerful 1:01:39.120,1:01:44.269 It's not the best metaphor, but in the Chinese art of war 1:01:44.970,1:01:47.120 Know the enemy know thyself 1:01:48.030,1:01:50.989 Thousand battles fought thousand battles, won 1:01:52.020,1:01:56.959 Now it's a military thing but his reasoning became famous because that is about our life 1:01:57.540,1:01:59.540 We got like stress trauma 1:02:00.090,1:02:01.980 our enemy 1:02:01.980,1:02:05.149 So know the enemy know yourself 1:02:06.360,1:02:08.360 Thousands bet battles won 1:02:08.640,1:02:15.769 So a thousand battles fought a thousand battles won. That's how we overcome these things through wisdom through understanding 1:02:16.650,1:02:21.560 but not contemplating contemplating thinking thinking goes around it so I can a 1:02:21.900,1:02:25.850 Moon a satellite it orbits the problem it things around things 1:02:26.700,1:02:28.790 To actually explore you have to go into 1:02:30.410,1:02:32.410 No not 1:02:32.540,1:02:35.080 Escaping from it. They're going towards it 1:02:36.170,1:02:38.800 So anyway any questions from the floor 1:02:41.060,1:02:47.139 Great oh there was one was it. No. Yeah, okay? I 1:02:55.460,1:03:01.510 Just want to ask you a little bit more about forgiving yourself from mistakes from the past like 1:03:04.340,1:03:06.340 I 1:03:06.350,1:03:11.589 Know it mistakes from the past are just so much fun 1:03:13.730,1:03:21.429 Honestly because when we mention our mistakes people remember then it's good fun people look what's the nice? 1:03:22.490,1:03:24.350 as many mistakes 1:03:24.350,1:03:28.629 When I was doing a funeral service I got Chinese 1:03:29.210,1:03:31.210 Culture in my mind right now 1:03:31.430,1:03:35.440 Because of just being a Hong Kong so when I was in 1:03:37.369,1:03:43.239 Was first came over here there was Chinese Buddhist family and 1:03:44.240,1:03:45.260 somebody 1:03:45.260,1:03:52.689 Not you know wasn't Chinese this was actually Sri. Lankan. I remember now this one of the Sri. Lankan men who comes here 1:03:52.690,1:03:57.310 They said one of their family had died and they were doing the funeral service 1:03:58.070,1:04:03.789 In Raqqa B. Road as a funeral parlor there, so I went over there and you know just 1:04:05.330,1:04:10.959 Started a service welcome everybody maybe in a funeral services were welcome everybody welcome 1:04:11.750,1:04:13.750 everybody and it's a 1:04:14.270,1:04:16.780 to do the Buddhist funeral service for 1:04:17.450,1:04:24.159 The the mother of my friend over here, so R and Jane or something 1:04:24.920,1:04:27.250 Whose mother just passed away 1:04:28.010,1:04:34.030 And that's just how I started and that point this old lady at the front stood up 1:04:35.180,1:04:41.350 Interrupted me and she looked at me and said it's not me who died it's my husband 1:04:42.780,1:04:45.739 I'm still alive nothing wrong with me 1:04:47.520,1:04:51.110 And that was the end of being serious about being 1:04:51.750,1:04:58.820 70 it's wonderful you're making mistake like that and I know you don't heard the joke about you know the funeral 1:04:59.160,1:05:02.149 Directors, you know who couldn't find the gravesite 1:05:02.820,1:05:04.820 They lost the plot 1:05:05.550,1:05:09.830 For that actually happened to me once I think in Guildford Cemetery and 1:05:10.440,1:05:13.250 As we're doing the procession from the gates 1:05:13.860,1:05:15.270 and when they were going and 1:05:15.270,1:05:21.919 just now we're going in the front end and the hearse was following myself and the funeral director and the northern mourners behind and they 1:05:21.920,1:05:25.730 Were going and I said, no. This is a long way. He said you know. I don't know where it is 1:05:27.240,1:05:34.159 And we looked over there maybe about 300 meters away and that people were waving at us there's over here 1:05:36.180,1:05:38.180 It has happened I 1:05:38.490,1:05:44.060 Remember just all these great jokes about funerals one of the friends over in Sydney 1:05:44.060,1:05:48.320 He was a funeral director before and he said sometimes sometimes. They actually do 1:05:49.590,1:05:51.590 Go to the wrong cemetery 1:05:53.520,1:05:59.390 So you know they've got no two funerals one is they a Fremantle one is up in a row when they arrive there 1:05:59.390,1:06:02.839 They should be a few at Fremantle. Yeah, you should be up in away 1:06:05.250,1:06:08.149 Well that's when they had to collect the bodies 1:06:08.250,1:06:13.250 You know it's it, and so just to be able to to get enough. You know to make it worthwhile 1:06:13.560,1:06:15.769 They had had to be three 1:06:16.620,1:06:18.739 three bodies in the back of the hearse one 1:06:18.740,1:06:21.979 So just taking it to the funeral parlor not there to the funeral well 1:06:21.980,1:06:26.659 They took it there know some of the people you know a bit sort of you know just 1:06:27.870,1:06:31.880 overweight and had three really heavy people and 1:06:32.460,1:06:34.410 so the poor hearse 1:06:34.410,1:06:41.120 It was actually so heavy in the back the metal of the front back bumper was actually scraping on the bitumen 1:06:41.850,1:06:47.959 And you can't actually stop and unload somebody and pick him up later, so they're in big trouble there 1:06:49.160,1:06:53.950 Or the other guy. They install this was in New York or San Francisco somewhere 1:06:53.950,1:06:57.220 You know they have these these lanes for two or more people 1:06:57.950,1:07:03.129 You know so you know the because so many people drive their cars only a single person in the car 1:07:03.470,1:07:09.339 And that's what causes also traffic and so some jurisdictions. They have lanes especially two or more people and 1:07:10.910,1:07:12.470 Then 1:07:12.470,1:07:14.470 policeman stopped a funeral hearse 1:07:14.690,1:07:17.109 there's only one driver in there and 1:07:17.630,1:07:21.190 the actually the driver took the police to court he 1:07:21.770,1:07:24.550 Said well, I had the guy in the back that makes two 1:07:28.099,1:07:35.469 Whom he lost his case some judges don't have a sense of humor, but anyway, okay, so hopefully that answers the questions 1:07:35.470,1:07:38.439 It's getting a bit late, so I'm just this so now 1:07:38.990,1:07:44.589 Is basically the bottom of the stack and then we can actually go and do whatever we need to do 1:08:17.759,1:08:19.759 [Chanting]