[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.03,0:00:05.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[This talk contains mature content]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.06,0:00:10.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My mother called to stage an intervention.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.76,0:00:18.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She'd come across a few snippets\Nof my memoir, which wasn't even out yet,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.50,0:00:20.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she was concerned.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.31,0:00:23.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It wasn't the sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.40,0:00:24.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.86,0:00:28.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was the language that disturbed her.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.79,0:00:31.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.74,0:00:34.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I have been so many things
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.08,0:00:36.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,along my curious journey:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.62,0:00:39.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a poor boy, a nigger,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.51,0:00:42.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a Yale man, a Harvard man,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.43,0:00:45.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a faggot, a Christian,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.16,0:00:47.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a crack baby, alleged,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.20,0:00:50.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the spawn of Satan, the Second Coming,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.13,0:00:52.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Casey."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.01,0:00:53.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's just page six.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.76,0:00:55.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.36,0:00:58.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you may understand\Nmy mother's worry.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.46,0:01:03.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But she wanted only to make\None small change.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.14,0:01:07.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So she called, and she began,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.88,0:01:11.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hey, you are a man.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.66,0:01:16.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're not a faggot,\Nyou're not a punk,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.01,0:01:16.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and let me tell you the difference.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.84,0:01:19.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are prominent. You are intelligent.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.17,0:01:21.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You dress well. You know how to speak.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.26,0:01:22.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People like you.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.76,0:01:25.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't walk around\Ndoing your hand like a punk.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.69,0:01:28.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're not a vagabond on the street.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.11,0:01:30.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are an upstanding person
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.60,0:01:33.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who just happens to be gay.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.23,0:01:35.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't put yourself over there
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.67,0:01:38.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you are over here."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.89,0:01:42.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She thought she'd done me a favor,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.46,0:01:45.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in a way, she had.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.20,0:01:49.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Her call clarified what I am trying\Nto do with my life
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.18,0:01:54.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in my work as a writer,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.16,0:01:57.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is to send one simple message:
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.100,0:02:01.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the way we're taught to live\Nhas got to change.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.48,0:02:04.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I learned this the hard way.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.56,0:02:06.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was born not on\Nthe wrong side of the tracks,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.92,0:02:09.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but on the wrong side of a whole river,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.32,0:02:11.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Trinity, down in Oak Cliff, Texas.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.83,0:02:15.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was raised there in part\Nby my grandmother
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.03,0:02:17.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who worked as a domestic,\Nand by my sister,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.88,0:02:21.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who adopted me\Na few years after our mother,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.42,0:02:24.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who struggled with mental illness,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.05,0:02:25.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,disappeared.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.24,0:02:27.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it was that disappearance,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.28,0:02:30.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that began when I was 13\Nand lasted for five years,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.91,0:02:33.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that shaped the person I became,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.70,0:02:37.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the person I later had to un-become.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.46,0:02:41.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Before she left, my mother\Nhad been my human hiding place.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.67,0:02:46.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She was the only other person\Nwho seemed as strange as me,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.35,0:02:47.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,beautifully strange,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.52,0:02:51.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some mix of Blanche DuBois\Nfrom "A Streetcar Named Desire"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.19,0:02:53.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a 1980s Whitney Houston.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.55,0:02:56.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.59,0:02:59.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not saying she was perfect,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.13,0:03:02.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just that I sure benefited\Nfrom her imperfections,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.43,0:03:05.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and maybe that's what magic is, after all:
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.12,0:03:07.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a useful mistake.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.52,0:03:10.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when she began to disappear\Nfor days at a time,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.60,0:03:12.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I turned to some magic of my own.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.37,0:03:14.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It struck me, as from above,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.77,0:03:18.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I could conjure up by mother\Njust by walking perfectly
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.69,0:03:21.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from my elementary school\Nat the top of a steep hill
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.80,0:03:24.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all the way down\Nto my grandmother's house,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.86,0:03:30.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,placing one foot and one foot only\Nin each sidewalk square.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.25,0:03:33.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I couldn't let any part of any foot\Ntouch the line between the square,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.66,0:03:34.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I couldn't skip a square,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.83,0:03:38.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all the way to the last square\Nat the last blade of grass
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.10,0:03:41.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that separated our lawn from our driveway.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.02,0:03:45.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I bullshit you not, it worked,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.11,0:03:46.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just once though.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.16,0:03:51.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But if my perfect walk could not\Nbring my mother back,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.22,0:03:54.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I found that this approach had other uses.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.49,0:03:58.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I found that everyone else\Nin charge around me
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.20,0:04:01.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,loved nothing more than perfection,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.46,0:04:03.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,obedience, submission,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.56,0:04:06.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or at least if I submitted,\Nthey wouldn't bother me too much,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.06,0:04:09.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I took a bargain
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.12,0:04:13.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I'd later see in a prison,\Na Stasi prison in Berlin,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.66,0:04:15.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on a sign that read,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.12,0:04:19.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"He who adapts can live tolerably."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.53,0:04:25.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was a bargain that helped ensure that\NI had a place to stay and food to eat,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.38,0:04:29.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a bargain that won me praise\Nof teachers and kin, strangers,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.69,0:04:32.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a bargain that paid off\Nbig time, it seemed,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.34,0:04:36.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when one day at 17, a man from Yale\Nshowed up at my high school to recruit me
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.49,0:04:38.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for Yale's football team.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.59,0:04:42.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It felt as out-of-the-blue to me then\Nas it may to you now.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.14,0:04:45.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Yale man said, everybody said,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.18,0:04:48.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that this was the best thing\Nthat could ever happen to me,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.94,0:04:51.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the best thing that could happen\Nto the whole community.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.39,0:04:55.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Take this ticket, boy," they told me.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.18,0:04:57.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was not so sure.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.44,0:05:00.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yale seemed another world entirely,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.15,0:05:04.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a cold, foreign, hostile place.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.69,0:05:06.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On the first day of my recruiting visit,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.58,0:05:08.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I texted my sister\Nan excuse for not going.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.95,0:05:11.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"These people are so weird."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.60,0:05:15.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She replied, "You'll fit right in."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.04,0:05:17.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.82,0:05:20.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I took the ticket,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.16,0:05:22.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and worked damn hard to fit right in.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.45,0:05:26.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When my freshman advisor warned me\Nnot to wear my fitted hats on campus,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.32,0:05:31.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she said, "You're at Yale now.\NYou don't have to do that anymore."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.66,0:05:36.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I figured, this was just one\Nof the small prices
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.25,0:05:38.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that must be paid to make it.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.74,0:05:40.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I paid them all, or tried,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.64,0:05:43.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and sure enough they seemed\Nto pay me back,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.27,0:05:46.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,made me a leader\Non the varsity football team,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.26,0:05:49.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,got me into a not-so-secret society
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.16,0:05:51.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a job on Wall Street\Nand later in Washington.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.58,0:05:54.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Things were going so well\Nthat I figured naturally
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.12,0:05:57.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I should be President\Nof the United States.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.06,0:05:59.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.19,0:06:03.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But since I was only 24,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.28,0:06:06.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and since even presidents\Nhave to start somewhere,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.15,0:06:09.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I settled instead on a run for Congress.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.70,0:06:14.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now this was in the afterglow\Nof that great 2008 election,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.18,0:06:19.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the election during which a serious,\Nmoderate senator stressed,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.02,0:06:22.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The message you've got to send\Nmore than any other message
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.80,0:06:26.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that Barack Obama is just like us."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.75,0:06:28.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They sent that message so well
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.76,0:06:32.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that their campaign became\Nthe gold standard of modern politics,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.36,0:06:35.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if not modern life,\Nwhich also seems to demand
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.51,0:06:40.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we each do whatever it takes\Nto be able to say at the end of our days
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.96,0:06:44.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with peace and satisfaction,\N"I was just like everybody else."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:44.45,0:06:48.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This would be my message, too.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.46,0:06:55.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So one night, I made on final call\Nto my prospective campaign manager.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.59,0:06:59.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We'd do the things it'd take to win,\Nbut first he had one question:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.28,0:07:04.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is there anything I need to know?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.17,0:07:07.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I held the phone, and finally said,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.94,0:07:10.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well, you should probably know I'm gay."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.20,0:07:14.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Silence.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:14.84,0:07:18.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hmm. I see," he nearly whispered,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.60,0:07:22.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as if he'd found a shiny penny\Nor a dead baby bird.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.31,0:07:26.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm glad you told me," he continued.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.37,0:07:29.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You definitely didn't make\Nmy job any easier.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.54,0:07:30.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, you are in Texas.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.84,0:07:34.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's not impossible, not impossible.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.50,0:07:37.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But Casey, let me ask you something:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.36,0:07:43.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how are you gonna feel when somebody,\Nsay, at a rally, calls you a faggot?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.76,0:07:46.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And let's be real, OK?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.21,0:07:50.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You do understand that somebody\Nmight want to physically harm you.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.45,0:07:52.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just want to know:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.42,0:07:55.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are you really ready for this?"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.98,0:07:57.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wasn't,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.80,0:08:00.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I could not understand,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.72,0:08:03.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could hardly breathe
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.76,0:08:07.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or think or say a word.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.59,0:08:10.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But to be clear,\Nthe boy that I was at that time
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.23,0:08:12.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would have leapt\Nat the chance to be harmed,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.98,0:08:16.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to sacrifice everything,\Neven life, for a cause.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.34,0:08:19.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was something shocking, though,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.30,0:08:22.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not that there should\Nhave been, but there was,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:22.62,0:08:27.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the notion that he might be harmed\Nfor nothing more than being himself,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.46,0:08:30.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which he had not even tried\Nto do in the first place.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.88,0:08:33.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All that he, all that I,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.44,0:08:38.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had tried to do and be\Nwas what I thought was asked of me.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.39,0:08:41.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was prominent for a 24-year old,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.92,0:08:47.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,intelligent, I spoke well, dressed decent,\NI was an upstanding citizen.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.30,0:08:53.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the bargain I had accepted\Ncould not save me after all,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.22,0:08:55.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nor can it save you.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.94,0:08:57.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You may have already learned this lesson,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.87,0:09:02.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or you will, regardless of your sexuality.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.15,0:09:06.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The queer receives\Na concentrated dose, no doubt,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.19,0:09:11.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but repression is a bitter pill\Nthat's offered to us all.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.68,0:09:15.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're taught to hide so many parts\Nof who we are and what we've been through,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.94,0:09:19.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,our love, our pain, for some, our faith.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.58,0:09:23.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So while coming out\Nto the world can be hard,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.03,0:09:27.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,coming in to all the raw, strange magic\Nof ourselves can be much harder.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.69,0:09:32.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As Miles Davis, "It takes a long time\Nto sound like yourself."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.60,0:09:35.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That surely was the case for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.52,0:09:38.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had my private revelation\Nthat night at 24,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.31,0:09:40.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but mostly went on with my life.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.67,0:09:44.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went on to Harvard Business School,\Nstarted a successful non-profit,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.54,0:09:47.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wound up on the cover of a magazine,\Non the stage at TED.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.96,0:09:50.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had achieved, by my late 20s,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.77,0:09:54.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about everything a kid\Nis supposed to achieve.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.71,0:09:57.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I was real cracked up,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.23,0:10:01.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not exactly having a nervous breakdown,\Nbut not too far off,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.76,0:10:04.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and awful sad either way.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.79,0:10:07.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had never thought of being a writer,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.17,0:10:11.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,didn't even read, in earnest,\Nuntil I was nearly 23.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.95,0:10:15.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the book business\Nis about the only industry
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.16,0:10:17.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that will pay you to investigate\Nyour own problems,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.05,0:10:23.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so (Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.05,0:10:26.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I decided to give it a try,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.32,0:10:29.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to trace those cracks with words.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.88,0:10:35.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, what came out on the page was\Nabout as strange as I felt at that time,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.18,0:10:37.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which alarmed some people at first.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:37.100,0:10:40.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A respected writer called\Nto stage his own intervention
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.86,0:10:43.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after reading a few early chapters,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.95,0:10:47.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he began, much like my mother,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:47.77,0:10:50.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hey, listen.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.76,0:10:53.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You've been hired\Nto write an autobiography.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:53.50,0:10:55.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a straightforward exercise.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.22,0:10:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's got a beginning, middle, and end,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.96,0:10:59.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and is grounded in the facts of your life,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.67,0:11:03.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and by the way, there's a great tradition\Nof autobiography in this country,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.13,0:11:08.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,led by people on the margins of society\Nwho write to assert their existence.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.12,0:11:11.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go buy some of those books\Nand learn from them.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.89,0:11:14.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're going in the wrong direction."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:15.91,0:11:19.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I no longer believed\Nwhat we are taught,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.44,0:11:21.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the right direction\Nis the safe direction.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.93,0:11:24.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I no longer believed what we are taught,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.13,0:11:27.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that queer lives or black lives\Nor poor lives are marginal lives.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.74,0:11:31.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I believed what Kendrick Lamar\Nsays on "Section.80."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:31.72,0:11:34.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm not on the outside looking in,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.96,0:11:37.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not on the inside looking out,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.21,0:11:40.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm in the dead fucking center\Nlooking around."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:41.18,0:11:42.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was the place
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.82,0:11:45.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from which I hoped to work,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:45.58,0:11:48.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,headed in the only direction worth going,\Nthe direction of myself,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:48.70,0:11:52.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,trying to help us all refuse\Nthe awful bargains
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.57,0:11:54.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we've been taught to take.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.94,0:11:56.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're taught to turn ourselves
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.98,0:12:01.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and our work into little nuggets\Nthat are easily digestible,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.21,0:12:04.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,taught to mutilate ourselves\Nso that we make sense to others,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.56,0:12:08.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be a stranger to ourselves\Nso the right people might befriend us
Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.06,0:12:11.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the right schools might accept us\Nand the right jobs might hire us,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.21,0:12:13.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the right parties might invite us,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:13.28,0:12:16.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and someday the right God\Nmight invite us to the right heaven
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.69,0:12:21.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and close his pearly gates behind us so we\Ncan bow down to him forever and ever.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:21.30,0:12:23.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These are the rewards, they say,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.82,0:12:25.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for our obedience:
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.79,0:12:28.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be a well-liked holy nugget,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.87,0:12:30.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be dead.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:30.92,0:12:35.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I say in return, "No thank you."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:35.53,0:12:39.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To the world, and to my mother.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.57,0:12:43.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, to tell you the truth, all I said\Nwas, "OK, mom, I'll talk to you later."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.32,0:12:44.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:44.86,0:12:48.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But in my mind, I said, "No thank you."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:48.29,0:12:52.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I cannot accept her bargain either.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.58,0:12:54.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nor should you.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.66,0:12:59.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It would be easy for many of us\Nin rooms like this
Dialogue: 0,0:12:59.04,0:13:01.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to see ourselves as safe,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:01.96,0:13:05.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to keep ourselves over here.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:05.72,0:13:08.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We speak well, we dress decent,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.77,0:13:13.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're intelligent, people like us,\Nor act like they do.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:13.67,0:13:19.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But instead, I say that we\Nshould remember Lot's wife.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.32,0:13:22.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jesus of Nazareth said it\Nfirst to his Disciples:
Dialogue: 0,0:13:22.73,0:13:25.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Remember Lot's wife."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:26.55,0:13:29.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lot, in case you haven't\Nread the Bible recently,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:29.82,0:13:33.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was a man who set\Nhis family down in Sodom,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.49,0:13:38.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the midst of a wicked society\Nthat God decided he had to destroy.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:38.53,0:13:41.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But God, being cruel,\Nyet still a sap in part,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:41.12,0:13:45.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rushed two angels out to Sodom\Nto warn Lot to gather up his folks
Dialogue: 0,0:13:45.60,0:13:47.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and get out of Dodge.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:47.79,0:13:50.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lot hear the angel's warning, but delayed.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:50.98,0:13:52.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They didn't have all day to wait,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:52.56,0:13:54.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so they grabbed Lot's hands
Dialogue: 0,0:13:54.73,0:13:57.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and his two daughters' hands\Nand his wife's hands
Dialogue: 0,0:13:57.17,0:14:00.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and hurried them out of Sodom,\Nand the angels shout,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:00.72,0:14:04.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Escape to the mountain.\NWhatever you do, don't look back,"
Dialogue: 0,0:14:04.55,0:14:08.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just as God starts raining down fire\Non Sodom and Gomorrah.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:08.38,0:14:10.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't figured out how Gomorrah\Ngot dragged into this.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:10.87,0:14:13.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But Lot and his folks are running,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:13.82,0:14:15.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fleeing all that destruction,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:15.78,0:14:18.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kicking up dust while the Lord\Nrains down death,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.76,0:14:25.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then, for some reason,\NLot's wife looks back.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:25.14,0:14:28.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,God turns her into a pillar of salt.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:28.98,0:14:33.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Remember Lot's wife," Jesus says.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:33.73,0:14:36.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I've got a question:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:36.94,0:14:39.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why does she look back?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:39.63,0:14:42.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Does she look back because\Nshe didn't want to miss the mayhem,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:42.77,0:14:46.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wanted one last glimpse of a city on fire?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:46.83,0:14:50.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Does she look back because she wanted\Nto be sure that her people
Dialogue: 0,0:14:50.04,0:14:53.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were far enough to danger\Nto breathe a little easy?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.17,0:14:57.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm so nosy and selfish sometimes,\Nthose likely would have been my reasons
Dialogue: 0,0:14:57.06,0:14:59.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I'd been in her shoes.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:59.15,0:15:06.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what if something else was going on\Nwith this woman, Lot's wife?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:06.01,0:15:11.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if she could not bear the thought\Nof leaving those people
Dialogue: 0,0:15:11.19,0:15:14.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all alone to burn alive,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:14.46,0:15:17.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even for righteousness sake?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:17.04,0:15:19.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Isn't that possible?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:19.36,0:15:24.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If it is, then this backward glance\Nof a disobedient woman
Dialogue: 0,0:15:24.81,0:15:27.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,may not be a cautionary tale after all,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:27.12,0:15:29.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it may be the bravest act\Nin all the Bible,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:29.88,0:15:33.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even braver than the act\Nthat holds the whole Book together,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:33.59,0:15:35.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the crucifixion.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:35.28,0:15:38.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are told that up on Calvary,\Non an old rugged cross,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:38.40,0:15:42.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jesus gave his life to save everybody,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:42.40,0:15:46.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,billions and billions of strangers\Nfor all time to come.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:46.06,0:15:47.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a nice thing to do.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:47.99,0:15:51.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It made him famous, that's for sure.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:51.43,0:15:53.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But Lot's wife was killed,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:53.79,0:15:56.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,turned into a pillar of salt,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:56.63,0:16:01.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all because she could not\Nturn her back on her friends,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:01.25,0:16:04.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the wicked men of Sodom,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:04.34,0:16:09.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and nobody even wrote\Nthe woman's name down.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:09.17,0:16:13.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh to have the courage of Lot's wife.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:13.34,0:16:16.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the kind of courage we need today,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:16.85,0:16:20.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the courage to put ourselves over there,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:20.09,0:16:23.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the courage to says that either\Nall of us have to be faggots
Dialogue: 0,0:16:23.60,0:16:28.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or none of us can be faggots\Nfor any of us to be free,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:28.13,0:16:32.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the courage to stand\Nwith other vagabonds in the street,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:32.56,0:16:34.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with all the wretched of the Earth,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:34.93,0:16:37.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to form an army of the least of these,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:37.49,0:16:41.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the faith that from\Nthe naked crust of all we are,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:41.90,0:16:44.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we can build a better world.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:44.88,0:16:47.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:47.09,0:16:50.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)