WEBVTT

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[clap]

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- That was a really good clap, that didn't
even look like it would be a good clap

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- I know!
- Did you do that here?

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- Yes I did like this-
[Clap]

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[Gasp] Why does that sound better than
this? [clap]

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[clap] This is why they show it in movies
when people clap like this

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I thought it was just fancy clapping but
that's how you should clap!

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- We don't need Gabbie!
- They do it in post!

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♪ [JBU theme] ♪

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- Thank you so much for coming back Renee
- I'm so excited to be back

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-This is Renee Arielle, a friend and also
an internet person

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[laughs] Yup, you know last time I started
off being like

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'oh, my life is a mess' but I didn't talk
about how I lost my job?

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-Yeah
or what I did and I watched it back

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and I'm like, they probably have no idea
what I was talking about

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- Why would they know anything about you?

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Today I wanna talk about how do you get
out of a toxic relationship?

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- That's a good question
- Move. Change your name. [Phone ding]

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Allison! Your phone!
- It's because the food is gonna come!

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Ok fine
- And I have to answer the phone call!

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- What's a mukbang?
- It's a [sigh]

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- You sound like my aunt
- It's a type of youtube video

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where people eat while they talk
- It's very popular

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It's very popular so you could do it
- Ok cool

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Do you mean your aunt that lives alone on
the farm that you're not aloud to talk

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about in front of me?

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- So anyway how do you get out of a
toxic relationship?

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I wanna to bring this up because I think
that recently

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- What?
maybe Renee's been struggling with this

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- [stuttering] I don't know why, that's
weird that you... yeah a little bit

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It's one of thsoe things that when you
haven't gone through it or haven't had

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a friend go through it, you don't under-
you're like 'Just leave! Walk away!'

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but it's harder than that!

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- Because you start to equate the past
with the present or the future

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so if it was good for one month two years
ago, you're like 'but that month!'

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What if we get that month back!
- That's all you keep doing

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You strive for a moment in time that
just doesn't exist anymore

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The person your partner was in that time
doesn't exist anymore

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There's issues that aren't gonna be solved
but in your mind you're like

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'But what if?'

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Allison always says 'You gotta think about
what's going on right now

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and not romanticize the past or hope for
the future' right?

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- I don't remember saying that, but it's
very smart!

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One thing that my therapist taught me
that is really helpful is that

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with people who give you attention and
then take it away, that's addicting

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- yeah
It has the exact same effect on your body

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as like drugs, or like anything else
people get addicted to

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and so you feel so helpless, and you're
like 'I don't understand why I can't just

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cut this person out', but it's because
they have created it so that you are

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addicted to them

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- For me, it would be like, all in,
acting like nothing's wrong,

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and then out of nowhere:
stone cold

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- Wow!
and like, leaves

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[stammering] And I'd be so confused,
my brain wouldn't catch up with what was

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happening, and I was just so confused, and
I wanted answers

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and at first you're able to distance
yourself, but after time it's cray what

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you will forget
- Yes! and forgive