[clap]

- That was a really good clap, that didn't
even look like it would be a good clap

- I know!
- Did you do that here?

- Yes I did like this-
[Clap]

[Gasp] Why does that sound better than
this? [clap]

[clap] This is why they show it in movies
when people clap like this

I thought it was just fancy clapping but
that's how you should clap!

- We don't need Gabbie!
- They do it in post!

♪ [JBU theme] ♪

- Thank you so much for coming back Renee
- I'm so excited to be back

-This is Renee Arielle, a friend and also
an internet person

[laughs] Yup, you know last time I started
off being like

'oh, my life is a mess' but I didn't talk
about how I lost my job?

-Yeah
or what I did and I watched it back

and I'm like, they probably have no idea
what I was talking about

- Why would they know anything about you?

Today I wanna talk about how do you get
out of a toxic relationship?

- That's a good question
- Move. Change your name. [Phone ding]

Allison! Your phone!
- It's because the food is gonna come!

Ok fine
- And I have to answer the phone call!

- What's a mukbang?
- It's a [sigh]

- You sound like my aunt
- It's a type of youtube video

where people eat while they talk
- It's very popular

It's very popular so you could do it
- Ok cool

Do you mean your aunt that lives alone on
the farm that you're not aloud to talk

about in front of me?

- So anyway how do you get out of a
toxic relationship?

I wanna to bring this up because I think
that recently

- What?
maybe Renee's been struggling with this

- [stuttering] I don't know why, that's
weird that you... yeah a little bit

It's one of thsoe things that when you
haven't gone through it or haven't had

a friend go through it, you don't under-
you're like 'Just leave! Walk away!'

but it's harder than that!

- Because you start to equate the past
with the present or the future

so if it was good for one month two years
ago, you're like 'but that month!'

What if we get that month back!
- That's all you keep doing

You strive for a moment in time that
just doesn't exist anymore

The person your partner was in that time
doesn't exist anymore

There's issues that aren't gonna be solved
but in your mind you're like

'But what if?'

Allison always says 'You gotta think about
what's going on right now

and not romanticize the past or hope for
the future' right?

- I don't remember saying that, but it's
very smart!

One thing that my therapist taught me
that is really helpful is that

with people who give you attention and
then take it away, that's addicting

- yeah
It has the exact same effect on your body

as like drugs, or like anything else
people get addicted to

and so you feel so helpless, and you're
like 'I don't understand why I can't just

cut this person out', but it's because
they have created it so that you are

addicted to them

- For me, it would be like, all in,
acting like nothing's wrong,

and then out of nowhere:
stone cold

- Wow!
and like, leaves

[stammering] And I'd be so confused,
my brain wouldn't catch up with what was

happening, and I was just so confused, and
I wanted answers

and at first you're able to distance
yourself, but after time it's cray what

you will forget
- Yes! and forgive