[clap]
- That was a really good clap, that didn't even look like it would be a good clap
- I know! - Did you do that here?
- Yes I did like this- [Clap]
[Gasp] Why does that sound better than this? [clap]
[clap] This is why they show it in movies when people clap like this
I thought it was just fancy clapping but that's how you should clap!
- We don't need Gabbie! - They do it in post!
♪ [JBU theme] ♪
- Thank you so much for coming back Renee - I'm so excited to be back
-This is Renee Arielle, a friend and also an internet person
[laughs] Yup, you know last time I started off being like
'oh, my life is a mess' but I didn't talk about how I lost my job?
-Yeah or what I did and I watched it back
and I'm like, they probably have no idea what I was talking about
- Why would they know anything about you?
Today I wanna talk about how do you get out of a toxic relationship?
- That's a good question - Move. Change your name. [Phone ding]
Allison! Your phone! - It's because the food is gonna come!
Ok fine - And I have to answer the phone call!
- What's a mukbang? - It's a [sigh]
- You sound like my aunt - It's a type of youtube video
where people eat while they talk - It's very popular
It's very popular so you could do it - Ok cool
Do you mean your aunt that lives alone on the farm that you're not aloud to talk
about in front of me?
- So anyway how do you get out of a toxic relationship?
I wanna to bring this up because I think that recently
- What? maybe Renee's been struggling with this
- [stuttering] I don't know why, that's weird that you... yeah a little bit
It's one of thsoe things that when you haven't gone through it or haven't had
a friend go through it, you don't under- you're like 'Just leave! Walk away!'
but it's harder than that!
- Because you start to equate the past with the present or the future
so if it was good for one month two years ago, you're like 'but that month!'
What if we get that month back! - That's all you keep doing
You strive for a moment in time that just doesn't exist anymore
The person your partner was in that time doesn't exist anymore
There's issues that aren't gonna be solved but in your mind you're like
'But what if?'
Allison always says 'You gotta think about what's going on right now
and not romanticize the past or hope for the future' right?
- I don't remember saying that, but it's very smart!
One thing that my therapist taught me that is really helpful is that
with people who give you attention and then take it away, that's addicting
- yeah It has the exact same effect on your body
as like drugs, or like anything else people get addicted to
and so you feel so helpless, and you're like 'I don't understand why I can't just
cut this person out', but it's because they have created it so that you are
addicted to them
- For me, it would be like, all in, acting like nothing's wrong,
and then out of nowhere: stone cold
- Wow! and like, leaves
[stammering] And I'd be so confused, my brain wouldn't catch up with what was
happening, and I was just so confused, and I wanted answers
and at first you're able to distance yourself, but after time it's cray what
you will forget - Yes! and forgive