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[This talk contains graphic language
and descriptions of sexual violence]

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[Viewer discretion is advised]

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"Ashley Judd,

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stupid fucking slut."

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"You can't sue someone
for calling them a cunt.

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If you can't handle the Intenet,

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fuck off, whore."

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"I wish Ashley Judd would
die a horrible death.

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She is the absolute worst."

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"Ashley Judd, you're the reason
women shouldn't vote."

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"'Twisted' is such a bad movie,

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I don't even want to rape it."

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"Whatever you do,

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don't tell Ashley Judd she'll
die alone with a dried out vagina."

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"If I had to fuck an older woman,

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oh my God,

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I would fuck the shit out of Ashley Judd,

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that bitch is hot AF.

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The unforgivable shit I would do to her."

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Online misogyny is a global
gender rights tragedy,

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and it is imperative that it ends.

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(Applause)

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Girls' and women's voices,

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and our allies' voices
are constrained in ways

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that are personally, economically,

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professionally and politically [damaging],

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and when we curb abuse,

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we will expand freedom.

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I am a Kentucky basketball fan,

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so on a fine March day last year,

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I was doing one of the things I do best:

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I was cheering for my Wildcats.

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The daffodils were blooming,

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but the referees were not blowing
the whistle when I was telling them to.

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(Laughter)

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Funny, they're very friendly
to me before the opening [tip],

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but they really ignore me during the game.

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(Laughter)

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Three of my players were bleeding,

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so I did the next-best thing ...

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I tweeted.

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[@ArkRazorback dirty play can kiss
my team's free throw making a --

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@KySportsRadio @marchmadness
@espn Bloodied 3 players so far.]

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It is routine for me to be treated
in the ways I've already described to you.

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It happens to me every single day

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on social media platforms
such as Twitter and Facebook.

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Since I joined Twitter in 2011,

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misogyny and misogynists
have amply demonstrated

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they will dog my every step.

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My spirituality,

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my faith --

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being a hillbilly, I can say that,

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you can't --

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all of it is fair game.

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And I have responded to this
with various strategies.

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I've tried engaging people.

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This one guy was sending me
hypersexual, nasty stuff,

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and there was a girl in his avatar.

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I wrote him back and said ...

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"Is that your daughter?

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I feel a lot of fear that you
may think about

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and talk to women this way."

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And he surprised me by saying,

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"You know what?

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You're right.

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I apologize."

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Sometimes people want
to be held accountable.

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This one guy was musing
to I don't know who

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that maybe I was the definition of a cunt.

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I was married to a Scot for 14 years,

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so I said, "Cunt means many different
things in different countries --

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(Laughter)

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but I'm pretty sure you epitomize
the global standard of a dick."

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(Laughter)

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(Applause)

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I've tried to rise above it,

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I've tried to get in the trenches,

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but mostly I would scroll through
these social media platforms

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with one eye partially closed,

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trying not to see it,

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but you can't make
a cucumber out of a pickle.

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What is seen goes in.

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It's traumatic.

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And I was always secretly hoping
in some part of me

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that what was being said to me
and about me wasn't true.

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Because even I,

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an avowed, self-declared feminist,

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who worships at the altar of Gloria --

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(Laughter)

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internalize the patriarchy.

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This is really critical.

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Patriarchy is not boys and men.

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It is a system in which
we all participate,

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including me.

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On that particular day,

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for some reason,

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that particular tweet
after the basketball game

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triggered something called a cyber mob.

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This vitriolic, global outpouring
of the most heinous hate speech:

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death threats, rape threats --

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and don't you know,

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when I was sitting at home
alone in my nightgown,

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I got a phone call,

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and it was my beloved former husband,

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and he said on a voicemail,

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"Loved one ...

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what is happening to you is not OK."

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And there was something about him


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taking a stand for me that night ...

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that allowed me
to take a stand for myself.

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And I started to write.

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I started to write about sharing
the fact that I'm a survivor

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of all forms of sexual abuse,

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including three rapes.

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And the hate speech
I get in response to that --

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these are just some of the comments
posted to news outlets.

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Being told I'm a "snitch" is really fun.

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[Jay: She enjoyed every second of it!!!!!]

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(Audience) Jesus.

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AJ: Thank you, Jesus.

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May your grace and mercy shine.

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So, I wrote this feminist op-ed,

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it is entitled, "Forget Your Team:

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It is Your Online Gender Violence
Toward Girls and Women

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that Can Kiss My Righteous Ass."

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(Laugther)

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(Applause)

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I did that alone,

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and I published it alone,

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because my chief advisor
said, "Please don't,

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the rain of retaliatory garbage
that is inevitable --

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I fear for you."

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But I trust girls,

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and I trust women,

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and I trust our aliies.

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It was published,

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it went viral,

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it proves that every single day

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online misogyny is a phenomenon
endured by us all,

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all over the world,

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and when it is intersectional,

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it is worse.

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Sexual orientation,

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gender identity,

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race, ethnicity, religion --

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you name it,

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it amplifies the violence
endured by girls and women,

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and for our younger girls,

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it is worse.

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It's clearly traumatizing.

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Our mental health,

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our emotional well-being,

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are so gravely effected

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because the threat of violence


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is experienced
neurobiologically as violence.

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The cortisol shoots up,

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the limbic system gets fired,

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we lose productivity at work.

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And let's talk about work.

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Our ability to work is constrained.

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Online searches of women applying for jobs
reveal nude pictures of them,

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false allegations --

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they have STDs --

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their addresses indicating
that they are available for sex

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with real examples

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of people showing up
at this house for said sex.

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Our ability to go to school is impaired.

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96 percent of all postings

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of sexual images
[in] our young people ...

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girls.

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Our girls.

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Our boys are two-to-three
times more likely --

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non-consensually --

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to share images.

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I want to say a word about revenge porn.

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Part of what came out of this tweet

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was my getting connected with allies
and other activists

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who are fighting for a safe
and free Internet.

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We started something
called the Speech Project;

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curbing abuse,

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expanding freedom.

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And that website provides
a critical forum,

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because there is no global, legal thing
to help us figure this out.

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But we do provide on that website
a standardized list of definitions,

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because it's hard to attack
a behavior in the right way

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if we're not all sharing a definition
of what that behavior is.

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And I learned that revenge porn
is often dangerously misapplied.

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It is the non-consensual
sharing of an image

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used tactically to shame
and humiliate a girl or woman

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that attempts to pornography us.

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Our natural sexuality is --

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I don't know about yours --

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pretty gorgeous and wonderful.

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And my expressing it does not
pornography make.

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(Applause)

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So, I have all these resources,

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that I'm keenly aware --

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so many people in the world do not.

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I was able to start
the Speech Project with colleagues.

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I can often get a social media
company's attention.

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I have a wonderful visit
to Facebook HQ coming up.

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Hasn't helped the idiotic
reporting standards yet ...

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I actually pay someone to scrub
my social media feeds,

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attempting to spare my brain

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the daily iterations
of the trauma of hate speech.

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And guess what?

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I get hate speech for that.

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"Oh, you live in an echo chamber."

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Well, guess what?

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Having someone post a photograph
of me with my mouth open

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saying they "can't wait
to cum on my face,"

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I have a right to set that boundary.

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(Applause)

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This distinction between virtual
and real is specious

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because guess what --

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that actually happened to me
once when I was a child,

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and so that tweet brought up that trauma,

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and I had to do work on that.

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But you know what we do?

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We take all of this hate speech,

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and we disaggregate it,

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and we code it,

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and we give that data

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so that we understand
the intersectionality of it:

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when I get porn,

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when it's about political affiliation,

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when it's about age,

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when it's about all of it.

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We're going to win this fight.

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There are a lot of solutions --

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thank goodness.

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I'm going to offer just a few,

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and of course I challenge you
to create and contribute your own.

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Number one:

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we have to start
with digital media literacy,

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and clearly it must have a gendered lens.

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Kids, schools, caregivers, parents:

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it's essential.

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Two ...

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shall we talk about our friends in tech?

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Said with dignity and respect,

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the sexism in your workplaces must end.

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(Applause)

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(Cheers)

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EDGE,

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the global standard for gender equality,

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is the minimum standard.

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And guess what, Silicon Valley?

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If L'Oréal in India,

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in the Philippines,

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in Brazil,

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and in Russia can do it,

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you can, too.

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Enough excuses.

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Only when women have critical mass
in every department at your companies,

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including building platforms
from the ground up,

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will the conversations about priorities
and solutions change.

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And more love for my friends in tech:

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profiteering off misogyny
in video games must end.

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I'm so tired of hearing you talk
to me at cocktail parties --

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like you did a couple
weeks ago in Aspen --

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about how deplorable #gamergate was

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when you're still making billions
of dollars off games

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that maim and dump women for sport.

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Basta,

266
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as the Italians would say.

267
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Enough.

268
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(Applause)

269
00:11:23,644 --> 00:11:27,081
Our friends in law enforcement
have much to do,

270
00:11:27,081 --> 00:11:28,738
because we've seen

271
00:11:28,738 --> 00:11:33,273
that online violence is an extension
of in-person violence.

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00:11:34,446 --> 00:11:36,260
In our country,

273
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:40,983
more girls and women have been
murdered by their intimate partners

274
00:11:40,983 --> 00:11:43,000
than died on 9/11,

275
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:47,434
and have died since in Afghanistan
and Iraq combined.

276
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And it's not cool to say that,

277
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but it is true.

278
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:55,430
We care so much geopolitically
about what men are doing over there

279
00:11:55,430 --> 00:11:57,861
to women over there ...

280
00:11:57,861 --> 00:12:00,245
In 2015,

281
00:12:00,245 --> 00:12:06,292
72,828 women used intimate
partner violence services in this country.

282
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:10,273
That is not counting the girls
and women and boys who needed them.

283
00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:14,561
Law enforcement must be empowered

284
00:12:14,561 --> 00:12:16,559
with up-to-date Internet technology,

285
00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:17,558
the devices,

286
00:12:17,558 --> 00:12:19,953
and an understanding
of these platforms --

287
00:12:19,953 --> 00:12:21,398
how they work.

288
00:12:21,868 --> 00:12:24,483
The police wanted to be helpful
when Amanda Hesse called

289
00:12:24,483 --> 00:12:27,140
about the death threat
she was getting on Twitter,

290
00:12:27,140 --> 00:12:29,332
but they couldn't really when they said,

291
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,949
"What's Twitter?"

292
00:12:32,906 --> 00:12:36,930
Our legislators must write
and pass astute legislation

293
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:38,747
that reflects today's technology

294
00:12:38,747 --> 00:12:42,282
and our notions of free and hate speech.

295
00:12:42,487 --> 00:12:43,607
In New York recently,

296
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the law could not be applied 
to a perpetrator

297
00:12:46,929 --> 00:12:49,132
because the crimes must
have been committed --

298
00:12:49,132 --> 00:12:50,471
even if it was anonymous --

299
00:12:50,471 --> 00:12:55,001
they must have been committed
by telephone, in mail,

300
00:12:55,001 --> 00:12:56,826
by telegraph --

301
00:12:56,826 --> 00:12:58,178
(Laughter)

302
00:13:01,335 --> 00:13:04,159
The language must be
technologically neutral.

303
00:13:05,562 --> 00:13:07,414
So apparently,

304
00:13:07,414 --> 00:13:09,324
I've got a pretty bold voice.

305
00:13:09,819 --> 00:13:12,352
So, let's talk about your friends ...

306
00:13:12,352 --> 00:13:13,843
white men.

307
00:13:15,369 --> 00:13:18,642
You have a role to play
and a choice to make.

308
00:13:18,828 --> 00:13:21,145
You can do something,

309
00:13:21,145 --> 00:13:23,178
or you can do nothing.

310
00:13:24,378 --> 00:13:25,592
We're cool in this room,

311
00:13:25,592 --> 00:13:27,498
but when this goes out
everyone will say,

312
00:13:27,498 --> 00:13:29,690
"Oh my god, she's a reverse racist."

313
00:13:30,765 --> 00:13:33,304
That quote was said by a white man,

314
00:13:33,304 --> 00:13:34,504
Robert Moritz,

315
00:13:34,504 --> 00:13:36,921
chairperson, PricewaterhouseCoopers,

316
00:13:36,921 --> 00:13:39,230
he asked me to include it in my talk.

317
00:13:41,305 --> 00:13:44,839
We need to grow support lines
and help groups,

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00:13:44,839 --> 00:13:47,637
so victims can help each other

319
00:13:47,637 --> 00:13:50,074
when their lives and finances
have been derailed.

320
00:13:50,422 --> 00:13:54,652
We must as individuals disrupt
gender violence as it is happening.

321
00:13:54,652 --> 00:13:56,506
92 percent of young people,

322
00:13:56,506 --> 00:13:57,509
29 and under,

323
00:13:57,509 --> 00:13:58,948
witness it.

324
00:13:58,948 --> 00:14:01,979
72 percent of us have witnessed it.

325
00:14:02,303 --> 00:14:04,192
We must have the courage and urgency

326
00:14:04,192 --> 00:14:07,209
to practice stopping it
as it is unfolding.

327
00:14:08,471 --> 00:14:10,993
And lastly,

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00:14:10,993 --> 00:14:12,767
believe her.

329
00:14:13,735 --> 00:14:14,960
Believe her.

330
00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:18,035
(Applause)

331
00:14:22,015 --> 00:14:25,556
This is fundamentally a problem
of human interaction.

332
00:14:26,856 --> 00:14:31,043
I believe that human interaction
is at the core of our healing.

333
00:14:31,043 --> 00:14:35,132
Trauma not transformed
will be trauma transferred.

334
00:14:35,753 --> 00:14:36,787
Edith Wharton said,

335
00:14:36,787 --> 00:14:39,044
"The end is latent in the beginning,"

336
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:43,663
so we are going to end this talk
replacing hate speech with love speech.

337
00:14:44,005 --> 00:14:46,074
Because I get lonely in this,

338
00:14:46,074 --> 00:14:48,123
but I know that we are allies.

339
00:14:48,937 --> 00:14:50,626
I recently learned

340
00:14:50,626 --> 00:14:54,964
about how gratitude and affirmations
offset negative interactions.

341
00:14:55,283 --> 00:14:58,610
It takes five of those to offset
one negative interaction,

342
00:14:58,610 --> 00:15:00,042
and gratitude in particular --

343
00:15:00,042 --> 00:15:02,907
free, available globally
any time, anywhere,

344
00:15:02,907 --> 00:15:04,834
to anyone in any dialect.

345
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:08,380
It fires the pregenual anterior cingulate,

346
00:15:08,380 --> 00:15:10,086
a watershed part of the brain

347
00:15:10,086 --> 00:15:12,601
that floods it with great, good stuff.

348
00:15:12,815 --> 00:15:15,428
So I'm going to say awesome
stuff about myself.

349
00:15:15,428 --> 00:15:17,766
I would like for you
to reflect it back to me.

350
00:15:17,766 --> 00:15:20,141
It might sound something like this --

351
00:15:20,141 --> 00:15:21,137
(Laughter)

352
00:15:21,348 --> 00:15:23,557
I am a powerful and strong woman,

353
00:15:23,557 --> 00:15:25,504
and you would say, "Yes, you are."

354
00:15:25,504 --> 00:15:27,116
(Audience) Yes, you are.

355
00:15:27,116 --> 00:15:28,666
My mama loves me.

356
00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:30,280
(Audience) Yes, she does.

357
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,472
I did a great job with my talk.

358
00:15:32,472 --> 00:15:33,918
(Audience) Yes, you did.

359
00:15:33,918 --> 00:15:36,715
I have a right to be here.

360
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,926
(Audience) Yes, you do.

361
00:15:38,926 --> 00:15:40,061
I'm really cute.

362
00:15:40,061 --> 00:15:41,258
(Laughter)

363
00:15:41,258 --> 00:15:42,664
(Audience) Yes, you are.

364
00:15:42,990 --> 00:15:44,714
God does good work.

365
00:15:44,714 --> 00:15:46,612
(Audience) Yes, he does.

366
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,403
And I love you.

367
00:15:48,403 --> 00:15:49,445
Thank you so much

368
00:15:49,445 --> 00:15:51,531
for letting me be of service.

369
00:15:51,531 --> 00:15:52,531
Bless you.

370
00:15:52,531 --> 00:15:54,387
(Applause)