WEBVTT

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"Ashley Judd,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
stupid fucking slut."

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"You can sue someone
for calling them a cunt."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"If you can't handle the Intenet,

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fuck off, whore."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"I wish Ashley Judd would
die a horrible death.

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She is the absolute worst."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Ashley Judd, you're the reason
women shouldn't vote."

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"'Twisted' is such a bad movie,

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I don't even want to rape it."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Whatever you do,

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don't tell Ashley Judd she'll
die alone with a dried out vagina."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"If I had to fuck an older women,

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oh my God,

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I would fuck the shit out of Ashley Judd,

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that bitch is hot AF.

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The unforgivable shit I would do to her."

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Online misogyny is a global
gender rights tragedy,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and it is imperative that it ends.

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(Applause)

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Girls' and womens' voices
and out allies' voices

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are constrained in ways

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that are personally, economically,
professionally [damaging],

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and when we curb abuse,

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we will expand freedom.

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I am a Kentucky basketball fan,

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so on a fine March day last year,

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I was doing one of the things I do best:

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I was cheering for my Wildcats.

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The daffodils were blooming,

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but the referees were not blowing
the whistle when I was telling them to.

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(Laughter)

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Funny,

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they're very friendly to me
before the opening [tip],

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but they really ignore me during the game.

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(Laughter)

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Three of my players were bleeding,

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so I did the next-best thing ...

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I tweeted.

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[@ArkRazorback dirty play can kiss
my team's free throw making a --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
@KySportsRadio @marchmadness
@espn Bloodied 3 players so far.]

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It is routine for me to be treated
in the ways I've already described to you.

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It happens to me every single day

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on social media platforms
such as Twitter and Facebook.

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Since I joined Twitter in 2011,

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misogyny and misogynists
have amply demonstrated

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they will dog my every step.

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My spirituality,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
my faith --

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being a hillbilly, I can say that,

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you can't --

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all of it is fair game.

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And I have responded to this
with various strategies.

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I've tried engaging people.

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This one guy was sending me
hyper sexual, nasty stuff,

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and there was a girl in his avatar,

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and I wrote him back and said,

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"Is that your daughter?

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I feel a lot of fear that you
may think about

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and talk to women this way."

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And he surprised me by saying,

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"You know what?

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You're right.

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I apologize."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Sometimes people want
to be held accountable.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This one guy was musing
to I don't know who

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that maybe I was the definition of a cunt.

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I was married to a Scot for 14 years,

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so I said, "Cunt means many
different things in different countries."

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(Laughter)

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"But I'm pretty sure you epitomize
the global standard of a dick."

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(Laughter)

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(Applause)

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I've tried to rise above it,

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I've tried to get in the trenches,

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but mostly I would scroll through
these social media platforms

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with one eye partially closed,

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trying not to see it,

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but you can't make
a cucumber out of a pickle.

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What is seen goes in.

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It's traumatic.

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And I was always secretly hoping
in some part of me

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that what was being said to me
and about me wasn't true.

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Because even I,

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an avowed, self-declared feminist,

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who worships at the altar of Gloria --

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(Laughter)

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internalize the patriarchy.

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This is really critical.

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Patriarchy is not boys and men.

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It is a system in which
we all participate,

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including me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
On that particular day,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for some reason that particular tweet
after the basketball game

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triggered something called a cyber mob.

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This vitriolic, global outpouring
of the most heinous hate speech:

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death threats, rape threats,

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and don't you know,

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when I was sitting at home
alone in my nightgown,

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I got a phone call,

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and it was my beloved former husband,

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and he said on a voicemail,

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"Loved one,

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what is happening to you is not OK."

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And there was something about him
taking a stand for me that night

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that allowed me
to take a stand for myself.

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And I started to write.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I started to write about sharing
the fact that I'm a survivor

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of all forms of sexual abuse,

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including three rapes.

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And the hate speech
I get in response to that --

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these are just some of the comments
posted to news outlets.

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Being told I'm a "snitch" is really fun.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
[Jay: She enjoyed every second of it!!!!!]

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(Audience) Jesus.

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AJ: Thank you, Jesus

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(Laughter)

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May your grace and mercy shine.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So I wrote this feminist op-ed,

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it is entitled, "Forget Your Team:

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It is Your Online Gender Violence
Toward Girls and Women

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that Can Kiss My Righteous Ass."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Laugther)

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(Applause)

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And I did that alone,

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and I published it alone,

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because my chief advisor
said, "Please don't,

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the rain of retaliatory garbage
that is inevitable,

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I fear for you."

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But I trust girls,

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and I trust women,

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and I trust our aliies.

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It was pulished,

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it went viral,

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it proves that every single day

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online misogyny is a phenomenon
endured by us all,

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all over the world,

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and when it is intersectional,

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it is worse.

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Sexual orientation,

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gender identity,

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race, ethnicity, religion --

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you name it,

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it amplifies the violence
endured by girls and women,

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and for our younger girls,

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it is worse.

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It's clearly traumatizing.

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Our mental health,

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our emotional well-being,

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are so gravely effected,

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because the threat of violence


99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is experienced
neurobiologically as violence.

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The cortisol shoots up,

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the limbic system gets fired,

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we lose productivity at work.

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And let's talk about work.

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Our ability to work is constrained.

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Online searches of women applying for jobs
reveal nude pictures of them,

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false allegations --

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they have STDs --

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their addresses indicating
that they are available for sex

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with real examples of people
showing up at the his house

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for said sex.

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Our ability to go to school is impaired.

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96 percent of all postings
of sexual images [in] our young people:

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girls.

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Our girls.

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Our boys are two-to-three
times more likely --

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non-consensually --

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to share images.

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And I want to say a word
about revenge porn.

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Part of what came out of this tweet

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was my getting connected with allies
and other activists

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who are fighting for a safe
and free Internet.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We started something
called the Speech Project:

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curbing abuse,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
expanding freedom.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And that website provides
a critical forum,

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because there is no global, legal thing
to help us figure this out.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But we do provide on that website
a standardized list of definitions,

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because it's hard to attack
a behavior in the right way

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
if we're not all sharing a definition
of what that behavior is.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I learned that revenge porn
is often dangerously misapplied.

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It is the non-consensual
sharing of an image

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
used tacticly to shame
and humiliate a girl or woman

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that attempts to pornogrpiphy us.


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Our natural sexuality is --

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I don't know about yours --

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pretty gorgeous and wonderful.

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And my expressing it does not
pornography make.

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(Applause)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So I have all these resources,

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that I'm keenly aware --

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so many people in the world do not.

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I was able to start
the Speech Project with colleagues.

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I can often get a social media
company's attention,

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I have a wonderful visit
to Facebook HQ coming up.

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Hasn't helped the idiotic
reporting standards yet ...

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I actually pay someone to scrub
my social media feeds,

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attempting to spare my brain

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the daily iterations
of the trauma of hate speech.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And guess what?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I get hate speech for that.

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"Oh, you live in an echo chamber."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, guess what?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Having someone post a photograph
of me with my mouth open

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saying they can't wait to cum on my face,

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I have a right to set that boundary.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Applause)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This distinction between virtual
and real is specious

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
because guess what --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that actually happened to me once
when I was a child,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and so that tweet brought up that trauma,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and I had to do work on that.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But you know what we do?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We take all of this hate speech,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and we disaggragate it,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and we code it,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and we give that data,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so that we understand
the intersectionality of it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
When I get porn,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
when it's about political affiliation,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
when it's about age,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
when it's about all of it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We're going to win this fight.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
There are a lot of solutions --

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thank goodness.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm going to offer just a few,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and of course I challenge you
to create and contribute your own.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Number one:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
we have to start
with digital media literacy,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and clearly it must have a gendered lens.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Kids, schools, caregivers, parents:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it's essential.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Two:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
should we talk about our friends in tech?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Said with dignity and respect,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the sexism in your workplaces must end.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Applause)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Cheers)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
EDGE,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the global standard for gender equality,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is the minimum standard.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And guess what, Silicon Valley,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
if L'Oreal in India

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and the Phillipines,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and Brazil,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and in Russia and can do it,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you can, too.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Enough excuses.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Only when women have critical mass
in every department in your companies,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
including building platforms
from the ground up,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
will the conversations about priorities
and solutions change.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And more love for my friends in tech:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
profiteering off misogyny
in video games must end.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm so tired of hearing you talk
to me at cocktail parties --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
like you did a couple
weeks ago in Aspen --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
about how deplorable #gamergate was

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
when you're still making billions
of dollars off games

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that maim and dump women for sport.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Basta,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
as the Italians would say.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Enough.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Applause)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Our friends in law enforcement
have much to do,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
because we've seen

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that online violence is an extension
of in person violence.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
In our country,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
more girls and women have been
murdered by their intimate partners

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
than died on 9/11

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and have died since in Afghanistan
and Iraq combined.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And it's not "cool" to say that,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but it is true.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We care so much geopolitically
about what men are doing over there

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to women over there ...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
In 2015,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
72,828 women used intimate
partner violence services in this country.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That is not counting the girls
and women and boys who needed them.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Law enforcement must be empowered

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
with up-to-date Internet technology,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the devices,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and an understanding
of these platforms --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
how they work.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The police wanted to be helpful
when Amanda Hesse called

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
about the death threat
she was getting on Twitter,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but they couldn't really when they said,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"What's Twitter?"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Our legislators must write and pass
astute legislation

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that reflects today's technology

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and our notions of free and hate speech.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
In New York recently,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the law could not be applied 
to a perpetrator

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
because the crimes must
have been committed --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
even if it was anonymous --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
they must have been committed
by telephone, in mail,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
by telegraph --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Laughter)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The language must be
technologically neutral.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So apparently,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I've got a pretty bold voice.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So let's talk about your friends ...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
white men.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You have a role to play
and a choice to make.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You can do something,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or you can do nothing.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We're cool in this room,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but when this goes out
everyone will say,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Oh my god,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
she's a reverse racist."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That quote was said by a white man,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Robert Morris,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
chairperson Price Waterhouse Cooper,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
he asked me to include it in my talk.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We need to grow support lines
and help groups,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so victims can help each other

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
when their lives and finances
have been derailed.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We must as individuals disrupt
gender violence as it is happening.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
92 percent of young people,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
29 and under,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
witness it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
72 percent of us have witnessed it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We must have the courage and urgency

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to practice stopping it
as it is unfolding.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And lastly,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
believe her.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Believe her.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Applause)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This is fundamentally a problem
of human interaction.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I believe that human interaction
is at the core of our healing.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Trauma not transformed
will be trauma transferred.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Edith Horton said,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"The end is latent in the beginning,"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so we are going to end this talk
replacing hate speech with love speech.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Because I get lonely in this,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but I know that we are allies.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I recently learned

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
about how gratitude and affirmations
offset negative interactions.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It takes five of those to offset
one negative interaction,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and gratitude in particular --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
free, available globally
any time, anywhere,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to anyone in any dialect.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It fires the pregenual anterior cingulate,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
a watershed part of the brain,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that floods it with great, good stuff.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So I'm going to say awesome
stuff about myself.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I would like for you
to reflect it back to me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It might sound something like this --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Laughter)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I am a powerful and strong woman,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and you would say, "Yes you are."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Audience) Yes your are.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
My mama loves me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Audience) Yes she does.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I did a great job with my talk.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Audience) Yes you did.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I have a right to be here.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Audience) Yes you do.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm really cute.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Laughter)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Audience) Yes you are.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
God does good work.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Audience) Yes he does.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I love you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Thank you so much

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for letting me be of service.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Applause)