[Script Info] Title: [Events] Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.97,0:00:06.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So people tell me I'm a nice person ... Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.15,0:00:10.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the point where it's part\Nof my personal and professional identity Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.19,0:00:12.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I'm so nice Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.47,0:00:14.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and able to get long with anyone, Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.52,0:00:17.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even my most fierce opponents. Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.01,0:00:20.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like my "thing," Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.11,0:00:21.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's what I'm known for. Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.52,0:00:22.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter) Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.12,0:00:25.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But ... Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.80,0:00:29.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what no one knows Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.06,0:00:30.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that I was a bully. Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.80,0:00:35.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Honestly, I didn't think\Nabout it much myself. Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.22,0:00:39.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I buried the memories for years, Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.14,0:00:41.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and even still, a lot of it's really hazy. Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.27,0:00:44.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Denial, by the way, apparently\Nis also one of my things. Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.57,0:00:48.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the more people started to praise me Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.84,0:00:51.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for being a liberal who could\Nget along with conservatives, Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.61,0:00:53.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the more I wrote articles\Nabout being nice Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.80,0:00:56.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and gave talks about being nice, Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.77,0:01:00.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more I felt this hypocrisy\Ncreeping up inside me. Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.81,0:01:04.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if I was actually really mean? Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.03,0:01:12.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was 10 years old, Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.29,0:01:15.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there was a girl in my class\Nat school named Vicky. Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.74,0:01:20.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I tormented her ... Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.43,0:01:21.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mercilessly. Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.41,0:01:24.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, everyone did. Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.77,0:01:26.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even the teachers picked on her. Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.75,0:01:29.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It doesn't make it any better, does it? Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.09,0:01:33.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Vicky was clearly a troubled kid. Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.42,0:01:36.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She would hit herself\Nand give herself bloody noses Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.99,0:01:38.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she had hygiene problems -- Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.53,0:01:39.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she had big hygiene problems. Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.23,0:01:43.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But instead of helping this girl, Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.58,0:01:47.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who was plainly suffering\Nfrom hardships in her life, Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.97,0:01:50.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we called her, "Sticky Vicky." Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.92,0:01:53.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I called her, "Sticky Vicky." Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.77,0:02:01.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My clearest memory\Nis standing in the empty hallway Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.04,0:02:02.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,outside the fifth grade classrooms Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.100,0:02:05.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,waiting for Vicky\Nto come out of the bathroom, Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.19,0:02:09.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I have a clipboard and a pen\Nand a survey I've made up, Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.14,0:02:10.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,asking about shampoo preferences, Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.93,0:02:13.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like I'm doing a study\Nfor science class or something. Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.94,0:02:16.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when Vicky comes out of the bathroom, Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.42,0:02:17.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I pounce on her Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.44,0:02:19.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I ask her what shampoo she uses. Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.31,0:02:21.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, to put this in perspective, Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.50,0:02:23.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't remember the names of my teachers, Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.51,0:02:26.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't remember the names\Nof any of the books I read that year, Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.53,0:02:29.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I pretty much can't remember\Nanything from fifth grade, Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.11,0:02:32.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I remember that VIcky told me\Nshe used White Rain shampoo. Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.28,0:02:34.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Clear as yesterday, Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.66,0:02:36.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like it just happened. Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.82,0:02:37.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as classes let out, Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.95,0:02:40.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I ran down the hall shouting\Nat all the other kids, Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.89,0:02:43.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Sticky Vicky uses White Rain shampoo. Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.18,0:02:45.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't use White Rain shampoo, Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.17,0:02:48.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or you'll smell like Sticky Vicky." Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.79,0:02:52.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I forgot about this memory\Nfor a long time. Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.79,0:02:54.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I finally started remembering it, Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.66,0:02:56.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I immediately needed to know more. Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.30,0:02:58.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I reached out to friends\Nand eventually social media, Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.81,0:03:01.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I did everything I could\Nto try to find Vicky. Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.15,0:03:03.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I needed to know that she was OK, Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.100,0:03:05.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that I hadn't ruined her life. Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.61,0:03:10.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What I quickly realized Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.03,0:03:12.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was I wasn't just trying to figure out\Nwhat happened to Vicky. Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.46,0:03:15.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was trying to figure out\Nwhat happened to me. Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.84,0:03:19.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was 10 years old, Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.24,0:03:24.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I treated another human being\Nlike some worthless other ... Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.92,0:03:27.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like I was better than her, Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.37,0:03:28.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she was garbage. Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.15,0:03:31.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What kind of a nice person does that? Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.65,0:03:34.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, I know I was only a kid, Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.21,0:03:35.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but not all kids do that. Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.86,0:03:38.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most kids don't do that, right? Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.34,0:03:41.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, what if I wasn't nice afterall? Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.73,0:03:44.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was really just a hateful monster. Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.07,0:03:50.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then I started to notice myself\Nhaving these mean impulses, Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.83,0:03:52.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thinking mean thoughts Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.76,0:03:53.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and wanting to say them. Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.03,0:03:59.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Admittedly, most of my mean\Nthoughts were about conservatives. Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.52,0:04:01.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter) Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.07,0:04:05.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But not just conservatives. Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.38,0:04:09.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I also caught myself thinking mean things\Nabout mushy, centrist liberals Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.66,0:04:11.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and greedy Wall Street bankers Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.52,0:04:12.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Islamaphobes Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.89,0:04:14.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and slow drivers, Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.54,0:04:16.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I really hate slow drivers. Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.74,0:04:17.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter) Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.39,0:04:22.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as I'd catch myself\Nin these moments of hypocrisy, Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.36,0:04:24.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,either I was just noticing them Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.21,0:04:26.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or they were getting worse, Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.22,0:04:27.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,especially in the last few years. Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.21,0:04:30.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as I felt more [hageful]-- Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.36,0:04:32.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rageful, really, Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.78,0:04:36.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I noticed the world around me\Nseemed to be getting more hateful, too. Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.04,0:04:38.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like there was this steady\Nundercurrent of hate Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.59,0:04:40.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bubbling up all around us Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.68,0:04:42.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and increasingly overflowing. Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.18,0:04:46.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the plus side, I guess, Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.69,0:04:51.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that I realized that hate\Nwas not just my problem, Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.85,0:04:55.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is like, the most\Nselfish plus side ever -- Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.42,0:04:56.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter) Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.98,0:05:02.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because now instead of just my own hate\Nand cruelty to try to figure out, Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.43,0:05:06.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had a whole world of hate\NI wanted to unravel Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.44,0:05:08.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and understand and fix. Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.58,0:05:15.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I did what all overly intellectual\Npeople do when they have a problem Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.64,0:05:17.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that they want to understand, Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.21,0:05:18.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I wrote a book. Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.95,0:05:20.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter) Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.14,0:05:22.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wrote a book about hate. Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.54,0:05:25.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Spoiler alert: Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.56,0:05:26.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm against it. Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.86,0:05:28.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter) Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.46,0:05:30.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now at this point, Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.46,0:05:32.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you might be thinking to yourself, Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.13,0:05:33.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Why are y'all worried about hate? Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.99,0:05:35.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You didn't hate Vicky. Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.39,0:05:37.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bullying isn't hate." Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.36,0:05:39.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Isn't it? Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.24,0:05:42.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gordon Allport, Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.39,0:05:46.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the psychologist who pioneered\Nthe study of hate in the early 1900s, Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.85,0:05:49.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he developed what he called\Na "scale of prejudice." Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.48,0:05:54.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At one end are things like genocide\Nand other bias-motivated violence. Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.13,0:05:56.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But at the other end Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.81,0:05:59.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are things like believing\Nthat your in-group Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.97,0:06:03.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is inherently superior to some out-group, Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.54,0:06:08.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or avoiding social interaction\Nwith those others. Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.72,0:06:11.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Isn't that all hate? Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.23,0:06:14.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, it wasn't an accident Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.12,0:06:19.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I was a rich kid\Npicking on a poor kid, Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.05,0:06:23.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or that Vicky, it turns out,\Nwould eventually end up being gay. Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.88,0:06:29.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Poor kids and gay kids\Nare more likely to be bullied Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.05,0:06:32.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even by kids who also end up being gay. Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.11,0:06:37.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know there was a lot going on\Nin my little 10-year-old mind. Dialogue: 0,0:06:37.04,0:06:39.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not saying hate was the only\Nreason I picked on Vicky Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.72,0:06:42.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or even that I was consciously\Nhateful or anything, Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.72,0:06:44.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the fact is, Dialogue: 0,0:06:44.72,0:06:49.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the people we discriminate against\Nin our public policies and in our culture Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.47,0:06:54.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are also the groups of people\Nmost likely to be bullied in school. Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.07,0:06:57.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is not just a coincidence. Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.80,0:07:01.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's hate. Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.67,0:07:07.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am defining hate in a broad way Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.55,0:07:10.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I think we have a big problem. Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.40,0:07:13.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we need to solve all of it, Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.03,0:07:14.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not just the most extremes. Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.04,0:07:16.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So for instance, Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.17,0:07:18.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we probably all agree\Nthat marching down the street, Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.84,0:07:22.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,chanting about you should take away\Nrights from some group of people Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.04,0:07:24.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of their skin\Ncolor or their gender, Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.10,0:07:25.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we'd all agree that's hate, right? Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.75,0:07:26.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,OK. Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.85,0:07:32.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if you believe\Nthat group of people is inferior, Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.77,0:07:33.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you don't say it? Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.67,0:07:36.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is that hate? Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.84,0:07:41.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or what if you believe\Nthat group of people is inferior Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.49,0:07:43.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you aren't aware\Nthat you believe it -- Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.76,0:07:46.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what's known as implicit bias -- Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.03,0:07:47.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that hate? Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.94,0:07:50.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean they all have\Nthe same roots, don't they? Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.18,0:07:53.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the historic patterns\Nof racism and sexism Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.22,0:07:54.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that have shaped our history Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.64,0:07:56.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and still infect our society today. Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.32,0:07:57.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Isn't it all hate? Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.82,0:08:01.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not saying they're the same thing, Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.24,0:08:03.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just like I am not saying\Nthat bullying -- Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.69,0:08:06.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being a bully is as bad as being a nazi, Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.34,0:08:12.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just like I'm not saying that being a nazi\Nis the same thing as punching a nazi ... Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.00,0:08:15.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter) Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.47,0:08:20.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But hating a nazi is still hate, right? Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.41,0:08:24.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What about hating someone\Nwho isn't as enlightened as you? Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.23,0:08:28.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, what I learned Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.60,0:08:31.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that we all are against hate Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.27,0:08:34.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we all think hate is a problem ... Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.24,0:08:36.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we think it's their problem, Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.59,0:08:38.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not our problem. Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.91,0:08:40.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're hateful. Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.76,0:08:43.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, if i think the people\Nwho didn't vote like me Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.24,0:08:46.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are stupid racist monsters who don't\Ndeserve to call themselves Americans, Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.73,0:08:48.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all right, fine, I'm not being nice, Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.64,0:08:49.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I get it. Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.65,0:08:51.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter) Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.67,0:08:53.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not hateful, Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.25,0:08:54.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm just right, Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.25,0:08:55.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right? Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.25,0:08:56.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter) Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.47,0:08:57.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wrong. Dialogue: 0,0:08:59.45,0:09:01.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We all hate. Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.65,0:09:06.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I do not mean that\Nin some abstract, generic sense. Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.84,0:09:10.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean all of us ... Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.65,0:09:12.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,me and you. Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.94,0:09:19.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That sanctimonious pedestal of superiority\Non which we all place ourselves, Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.10,0:09:22.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that they are hateful and we are not, Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.44,0:09:26.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is a manifestation\Nof the essential root of hate: Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.33,0:09:31.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we are fundamentally good\Nand they are not, Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.16,0:09:32.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is what needs to change. Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.16,0:09:37.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So in trying to understand\Nand solve hate, Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.92,0:09:40.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I read every book and every\Nresearch study I could find, Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.76,0:09:44.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I also went and talked\Nto some former nazis Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.91,0:09:46.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and some former terrorists Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.59,0:09:49.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and some former genocidal killers Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.05,0:09:53.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I figured if they could\Nfigure out how to escape hate, Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.31,0:09:54.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,surely the rest of us could. Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.76,0:09:59.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me give you just one example\Nof the former terrorist I spent time with Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.80,0:10:01.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the West Bank. Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.77,0:10:05.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When Bassam Aramin was 16 years old, Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.76,0:10:10.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he tried to blow up an Israeli\Nmilitary convoy with a grenade. Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.83,0:10:14.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He failed, fortunately, Dialogue: 0,0:10:14.35,0:10:16.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but he was still sentecned\Nto seven years in prison. Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.79,0:10:17.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When he was in prison, Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.95,0:10:19.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they showed a film about the Holocaust. Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.86,0:10:20.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Up until that point, Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.86,0:10:23.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bassam had thought the Hocolcaust\Nwas mostly a myth. Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.81,0:10:25.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He went to go watch the film Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.53,0:10:28.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because he thought he would enjoy\Nseeing Jews get killed. Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.54,0:10:32.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But when he saw what really happened, Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.87,0:10:34.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he broke down crying. Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.76,0:10:37.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And eventually after prison, Dialogue: 0,0:10:37.14,0:10:40.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bassam went on to get a master's\Ndegree in Holocaust studies Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.74,0:10:44.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he founded and organization\Nwhere former Palestinian combatants Dialogue: 0,0:10:44.80,0:10:48.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Israel combatants come together, Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.06,0:10:49.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,work together, Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.10,0:10:50.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,try to find common ground. Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.42,0:10:54.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By his own account, Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.32,0:10:57.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bassam used to hate Israelis, Dialogue: 0,0:10:57.46,0:11:00.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but through knowing Israelis\Nand learning their stories Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.76,0:11:02.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and working together for peace, Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.51,0:11:03.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he overcame his hate. Dialogue: 0,0:11:05.84,0:11:10.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bassam says he still\Ndoesn't hate Israelis, Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.33,0:11:15.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even after the Israeli military shot\Nand killed his 10-year-old daughter, Dialogue: 0,0:11:15.32,0:11:16.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Abir, Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.32,0:11:17.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while she was walking to school. Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.50,0:11:25.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bassam even forgave the soldier\Nwho killed his daughter. Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.50,0:11:27.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That soldier, Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.51,0:11:30.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he taught me, Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.14,0:11:34.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was just a product of the same\Nhateful system as he was. Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.68,0:11:44.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If a former terrorist -- Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.22,0:11:48.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if a terrorist can learn to stop hating Dialogue: 0,0:11:48.57,0:11:50.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and still not hate\Nwhen their child is killed, Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.73,0:11:54.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,surely the rest of us can stop our habits Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.72,0:11:56.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of demeaning and\Ndehumanizing each other. Dialogue: 0,0:11:57.30,0:12:00.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I will tell you there are stories\Nlike Bassam's all over the world, Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.64,0:12:02.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,plus study after study after study Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.62,0:12:07.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that says, no, we are neither designed\Nnor destined as human beings to hate, Dialogue: 0,0:12:07.83,0:12:11.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but rather taught to hate\Nby the world around us. Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.45,0:12:12.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I promise you, Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.79,0:12:16.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,none of us pops out of the womb\Nhating black people or Republicans. Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.27,0:12:21.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is nothing in our DNA\Nthat makes us hate Muslims or Mexicans. Dialogue: 0,0:12:21.63,0:12:22.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For better or for worse, Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.86,0:12:26.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we are all a product\Nof the culture around us. Dialogue: 0,0:12:27.92,0:12:29.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the good news is Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.96,0:12:34.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're also the ones\Nwho shape that culture, Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.14,0:12:35.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which means we can change it. Dialogue: 0,0:12:36.84,0:12:42.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first step is starting to recognize\Nthe hate inside ourselves. Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.27,0:12:43.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We need to catch ourselves Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.77,0:12:46.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and our hateful thoughts\Nin all their forms Dialogue: 0,0:12:46.28,0:12:49.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in all of us, Dialogue: 0,0:12:49.56,0:12:51.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and work to challenge\Nour ideas and assumptions. Dialogue: 0,0:12:51.95,0:12:53.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That doesn't happen overnight, Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.42,0:12:54.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am telling you right here, Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.80,0:12:56.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is a lifelong journey Dialogue: 0,0:12:56.12,0:12:57.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it's one we all need to take. Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.52,0:12:59.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then second: Dialogue: 0,0:12:59.49,0:13:03.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we want to challenge\Nthe hate in our societies, Dialogue: 0,0:13:03.12,0:13:07.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we need to promote policies\Nand institutions and practices Dialogue: 0,0:13:07.16,0:13:09.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that connect us as communities. Dialogue: 0,0:13:10.36,0:13:13.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Literally, like integrative\Nneighborhoods and schools. Dialogue: 0,0:13:13.45,0:13:15.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That by the way is the reason\Nto support integration.\N Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.93,0:13:18.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not just because\Nit's the right thing to do, Dialogue: 0,0:13:18.23,0:13:21.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but because integration\Nsystematically combats hate. Dialogue: 0,0:13:21.66,0:13:24.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are studies\Nthat teenagers who participate Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.12,0:13:28.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in racially integrated classes\Nand activities reduce their racial bias. Dialogue: 0,0:13:28.19,0:13:31.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when little kids go to racially\Nintegrated kindergartens Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.58,0:13:33.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and elementary schools, Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.72,0:13:35.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they develop less bias to begin with. Dialogue: 0,0:13:36.70,0:13:40.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the fact is in so many ways\Nand in so many places around our world, Dialogue: 0,0:13:40.77,0:13:43.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we are separated from each other. Dialogue: 0,0:13:44.87,0:13:47.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the United States for instance, Dialogue: 0,0:13:47.12,0:13:51.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,three-quarters of white people\Ndon't have any non-white friends. Dialogue: 0,0:13:52.85,0:13:56.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So in addition to promoting\Nthose proactive solutions, Dialogue: 0,0:13:56.94,0:14:00.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the other thing we need to do\Nis upend the hate in our institutions Dialogue: 0,0:14:00.74,0:14:02.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and our policies Dialogue: 0,0:14:02.33,0:14:05.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that perpetuate dehumanization Dialogue: 0,0:14:05.71,0:14:06.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and difference Dialogue: 0,0:14:06.88,0:14:07.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and otherizing Dialogue: 0,0:14:07.88,0:14:08.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and hate, Dialogue: 0,0:14:08.80,0:14:13.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like systems of sexual harassment Dialogue: 0,0:14:13.09,0:14:14.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and sexual assault in the workplace, Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.85,0:14:18.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or our deeply, racially imbalanced Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.83,0:14:22.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and deeply racially biased\Ncriminal "justice" system. Dialogue: 0,0:14:22.93,0:14:24.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We need to change that. Dialogue: 0,0:14:24.61,0:14:26.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Again, it will not happen overnight. Dialogue: 0,0:14:26.49,0:14:28.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It needs to happen. Dialogue: 0,0:14:29.86,0:14:32.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then ... Dialogue: 0,0:14:32.24,0:14:34.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when we connect together Dialogue: 0,0:14:34.92,0:14:38.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in these connection spaces, Dialogue: 0,0:14:38.64,0:14:42.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,faciliated by connection systems, Dialogue: 0,0:14:42.77,0:14:47.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we need to change the way\Nwe talk to each other Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.10,0:14:48.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and connect with one antoher Dialogue: 0,0:14:48.80,0:14:53.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and relate with generosity\Nand open-mindedness Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.93,0:14:55.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and kindness and compassion Dialogue: 0,0:14:55.44,0:14:56.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not hate. Dialogue: 0,0:14:57.85,0:14:58.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's it. Dialogue: 0,0:14:59.45,0:15:00.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's it. Dialogue: 0,0:15:00.77,0:15:04.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause) Dialogue: 0,0:15:05.15,0:15:06.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have solved it all, right? Dialogue: 0,0:15:06.90,0:15:07.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's it. Dialogue: 0,0:15:07.90,0:15:08.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is pretty much -- Dialogue: 0,0:15:08.98,0:15:10.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's a few details -- Dialogue: 0,0:15:10.13,0:15:12.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that's pretty much all we have to do. Dialogue: 0,0:15:12.10,0:15:13.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not that complicated, right? Dialogue: 0,0:15:15.57,0:15:16.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's hard. Dialogue: 0,0:15:18.62,0:15:24.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The hate that we feel\Ntowards certain groups of people Dialogue: 0,0:15:24.08,0:15:26.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of who they are\Nor what they believe Dialogue: 0,0:15:26.95,0:15:30.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is so ingrained in our minds\Nand in our society Dialogue: 0,0:15:30.31,0:15:33.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it can feel inevitable Dialogue: 0,0:15:33.26,0:15:34.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and impossible to change. Dialogue: 0,0:15:37.46,0:15:38.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Change is possible. Dialogue: 0,0:15:41.24,0:15:46.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just look at the terrorist\Nwho became a peace activist. Dialogue: 0,0:15:47.60,0:15:52.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or look at the bully who learned\Nto apologize to her victim. Dialogue: 0,0:15:55.48,0:15:59.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The entire time I was traveling\Naround the Middle East Dialogue: 0,0:15:59.62,0:16:00.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Rwanda Dialogue: 0,0:16:00.82,0:16:02.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and across the United States, Dialogue: 0,0:16:02.12,0:16:06.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hearing these unbelievable stories\Nof people in communities Dialogue: 0,0:16:06.23,0:16:08.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who had left entire histories\Nof hate behind, Dialogue: 0,0:16:08.94,0:16:10.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was still looking for Vicky. Dialogue: 0,0:16:11.03,0:16:14.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was so hard find her in fact\Nthat I hired a private investigator Dialogue: 0,0:16:14.19,0:16:15.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he found her. Dialogue: 0,0:16:15.34,0:16:17.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, he sort of found her. Dialogue: 0,0:16:17.41,0:16:18.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The truth is, Dialogue: 0,0:16:18.64,0:16:19.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it became clear Dialogue: 0,0:16:19.64,0:16:24.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the person I'm calling Vicky\Nhad gone to extraordinary lengths Dialogue: 0,0:16:24.65,0:16:26.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to hide her identity. Dialogue: 0,0:16:28.72,0:16:30.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But anyway, Dialogue: 0,0:16:30.02,0:16:34.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a year after I began my journey, Dialogue: 0,0:16:34.68,0:16:36.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wrote Vicky an apology. Dialogue: 0,0:16:38.31,0:16:40.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And a few months later, Dialogue: 0,0:16:40.60,0:16:41.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she wrote back. Dialogue: 0,0:16:45.21,0:16:47.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not going to lie, Dialogue: 0,0:16:47.76,0:16:49.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanted to be forgiven. Dialogue: 0,0:16:53.19,0:16:54.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wasn't. Dialogue: 0,0:16:56.06,0:16:58.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She offered me sort of\Nconditional forgiveness. Dialogue: 0,0:16:59.17,0:17:01.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What she wrote was, Dialogue: 0,0:17:01.36,0:17:06.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Messages such as yours\Ncannot absolve you of your past actions. Dialogue: 0,0:17:07.03,0:17:10.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only way to do that\Nis to improve the world, Dialogue: 0,0:17:10.34,0:17:14.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,prevent others\Nfrom behaving in similar ways Dialogue: 0,0:17:14.26,0:17:15.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and foster compassion." Dialogue: 0,0:17:17.90,0:17:19.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Vicky's right. Dialogue: 0,0:17:21.63,0:17:22.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which is why I'm here. Dialogue: 0,0:17:23.70,0:17:24.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you. Dialogue: 0,0:17:25.09,0:17:28.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)