[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.48,0:00:21.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks for sticking around
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.80,0:00:25.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thanks for having a big red X\Nburned into your eyeballs
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.04,0:00:26.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for the next three days.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.24,0:00:27.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.38,0:00:31.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Today I want to talk\Nabout the meaning of words,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.24,0:00:32.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how we define them
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.56,0:00:34.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how they, almost as revenge,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.76,0:00:35.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,define us.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.64,0:00:40.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The English language\Nis a magnificent sponge.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.72,0:00:43.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love the English language.\NI'm glad that I speak it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.49,0:00:47.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think you are all lucky\Nto speak it, as well.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.80,0:00:49.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But for all that, it has a lot of holes.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.04,0:00:53.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In Greek, there's a word, "lachesism"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.40,0:00:56.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is the hunger for disaster.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.28,0:01:00.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, when you see\Na thunderstorm on the horizon
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.88,0:01:03.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you just find yourself\Nrooting for the storm.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.64,0:01:06.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In Mandarin, they have a word "yù yī" --
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.60,0:01:08.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not pronouncing that correctly --
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.64,0:01:12.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which means the longing\Nto feel intensely again
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.36,0:01:14.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the way you did when you were a kid.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.24,0:01:19.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In Polish, they have a word "jouska"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.40,0:01:22.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is the kind of\Nhypothetical conversation
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.96,0:01:25.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you compulsively\Nplay out in your head.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.96,0:01:30.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And finally, in German,\Nof course in German,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.12,0:01:32.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they have a word called "Zielschmerz,"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.00,0:01:36.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is the dread\Nof getting what you want.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.44,0:01:40.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.56,0:01:42.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Finally fulfilling a lifelong dream.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.40,0:01:47.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm German myself,\Nso I know exactly what that feels like.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.68,0:01:50.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I'm not sure\Nif I would use any of these words
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.32,0:01:51.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as I go about my day,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.00,0:01:54.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I'm really glad they exist.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.26,0:01:57.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the only reason they exist\Nis because I made them up.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.02,0:02:01.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am the author of "The Dictionary\Nof Obscure Sorrows,"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.66,0:02:04.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which I've been writing\Nfor the last seven years.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.58,0:02:08.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the whole mission of the project
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.62,0:02:13.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to find holes\Nin the language of emotion
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.82,0:02:15.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and try to fill them
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.06,0:02:18.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that we have a way of talking\Nabout all those human peccadilloes
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.98,0:02:21.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and quirks of the human condition
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.42,0:02:25.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we all feel\Nbut may not think to talk about
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.42,0:02:28.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we don't have the words to do it.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.02,0:02:32.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It started watching the end credits\Nof "Saturday Night Live,"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.75,0:02:37.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I was beset by the most\Nbeautiful and haunting melancholy.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.04,0:02:39.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you ever get a chance\Nto stay up that late,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.51,0:02:42.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would urge you to watch\Nthe end credits of SNL.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.48,0:02:49.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, I decided to try\Nto define that emotion.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.29,0:02:51.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And about halfway through this project,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.73,0:02:53.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I defined "sonder,"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.37,0:02:56.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the idea that we all think of ourselves\Nas the main character
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.77,0:02:59.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and everyone else is just extras.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.05,0:03:01.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But in reality,\Nwe're all the main character,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.77,0:03:04.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you yourself are an extra\Nin someone else's story.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.37,0:03:09.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so as soon as I published that,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.49,0:03:11.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got a lot of response from people
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.21,0:03:15.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,saying "thank you for giving voice\Nto something I had felt all my life
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.85,0:03:18.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but there was no word for that."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.89,0:03:20.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it made them feel less alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.37,0:03:23.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the power of words,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.09,0:03:26.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to make us feel less alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.61,0:03:29.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it was not long after that
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.37,0:03:31.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I started to notice sonder
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.17,0:03:35.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being used earnestly\Nin conversations online,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.49,0:03:38.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not long after I actually noticed it,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.41,0:03:41.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I caught it next to me\Nin an actual conversation in person.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.93,0:03:44.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is no stranger feeling\Nthan making up a word
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.41,0:03:48.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then seeing it\Ntake on a mind of its own.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.73,0:03:50.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't have a word\Nfor that yet, but I will.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.85,0:03:52.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.29,0:03:53.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm working on it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.29,0:03:56.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started to think\Nabout what makes words real,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.25,0:03:59.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because a lot of people ask me,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.77,0:04:02.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the most common thing\NI got from people is,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.13,0:04:05.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well, are these words made up?\NI don't really understand."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.41,0:04:07.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I didn't really know what to tell them
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.49,0:04:09.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because once sonder started to take off,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.45,0:04:12.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who am I to say what words\Nare real and what aren't.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.85,0:04:16.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so I sort of felt like Steve Jobs,\Nwho described his epiphany
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.93,0:04:20.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as when he realized that most of us,\Nas we go through the day,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.41,0:04:23.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we just try to avoid\Nbouncing against the walls too much
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.45,0:04:26.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and just sort of get on with things.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.57,0:04:29.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But once you realize that people --
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.97,0:04:34.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that this world was built\Nby people no smarter than you,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.77,0:04:36.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then you can reach out\Nand touch those walls
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.89,0:04:38.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and even put your hand through them
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.61,0:04:40.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and realize that you have\Nthe power to change it.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.69,0:04:43.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's phenomenal.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.74,0:04:50.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I think from there,\Nthat changed how I look at words
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.91,0:04:52.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what makes words real.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.77,0:04:56.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when people ask me,\N"Are these words real?"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.45,0:04:58.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had a variety of answers\Nthat I tried out.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.57,0:05:00.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some of them made sense.\NSome of them didn't,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.73,0:05:02.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but one of them I tried out was,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.33,0:05:05.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well, a word is real\Nif you want it to be real."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.89,0:05:10.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The way that this path is real\Nbecause people wanted it to be there.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.13,0:05:11.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.85,0:05:13.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It happens on college\Ncampuses all the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.97,0:05:15.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's called a "desire path."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.33,0:05:17.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.13,0:05:20.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, languages\Nare a reflection of desire
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.10,0:05:22.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something that they want to be there.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.09,0:05:23.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it may be the road less traveled,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.95,0:05:25.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it will get there eventually.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.58,0:05:28.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that's not really a satisfying answer,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.68,0:05:30.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I gave up on that one.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.97,0:05:34.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But then I decided,\Nwhat people are really asking
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.33,0:05:37.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when they're asking if a word is real,\Nthey're really asking,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.25,0:05:41.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well, how many brains\Nwill this give me access to?"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.55,0:05:45.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I think that's\Na lot of how we look at language.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.31,0:05:48.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A word is essentially a key
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.11,0:05:51.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that gets us into certain people's heads,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.11,0:05:53.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if it gets us into one brain,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.39,0:05:55.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's not really worth it,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.67,0:05:56.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not really worth knowing.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.95,0:05:59.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Two brains, eh, it depends on who it is.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.43,0:06:01.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A million brains, OK, now we're talking.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.27,0:06:08.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so a real word is one that gets you\Naccess to as many brains as you can.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.75,0:06:12.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what makes it worth knowing.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.03,0:06:16.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Incidentally, the realest word of all\Nby this measure is this.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.21,0:06:18.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[O.K.]
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.11,0:06:19.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's it.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.35,0:06:20.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The realest word we have.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.63,0:06:23.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is the closest thing we have\Nto a master key.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.23,0:06:25.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the most commonly\Nunderstood word in the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.83,0:06:27.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no matter where you are.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.11,0:06:28.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The problem with that is,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.35,0:06:30.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no one seems to know\Nwhat those two letters stand for.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.99,0:06:33.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.15,0:06:35.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which is kind of weird, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.23,0:06:38.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, it could be a misspelling\Nof "all correct," I guess,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.71,0:06:39.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or "old kinderhook."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.99,0:06:43.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No one really seems to know,\Nbut the fact that it doesn't matter
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.87,0:06:47.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,says something about\Nhow we add meaning to words.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.39,0:06:50.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The meaning is not\Nin the words themselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.15,0:06:53.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're the ones\Nthat pour ourselves into it.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.67,0:06:58.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think, when we're all searching\Nfor meaning in our lives,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.27,0:07:01.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and searching for the meaning of life,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.15,0:07:04.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think words have\Nsomething to do with that.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.27,0:07:08.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think if you're looking\Nfor the meaning of something,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.07,0:07:10.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the dictionary is a decent place to start.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.02,0:07:17.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I saw an interview with\Nthe religious scholar Reza Aslan.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.71,0:07:21.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was describing a misunderstanding
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.34,0:07:23.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that many people have about religion.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.76,0:07:27.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said that what a religion is
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.14,0:07:30.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is basically a set of\Nsymbols and metaphors
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.55,0:07:32.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that people pour themselves into
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.72,0:07:35.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to try to express something inexpressible.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.35,0:07:39.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Religion is essentially just a language.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.05,0:07:40.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's all it is.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.23,0:07:42.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a container for whatever\Nmeanings we bring to it.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.94,0:07:45.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that got me thinking ...
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.97,0:07:49.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if language was a kind of religion.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.65,0:07:54.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That would mean that this\Nis basically our holy book.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.47,0:07:58.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you think of the creation story,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.39,0:08:01.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's really more of a definition story.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.11,0:08:05.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the beginning, there was chaos\Nupon the waters of the Earth
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.80,0:08:07.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then God separated\Nthe land from the sea,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.02,0:08:10.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the fish from the birds, man from woman,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.84,0:08:12.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the eternal from the ephemeral.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.93,0:08:14.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's all in these pages.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.78,0:08:16.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what a definition is.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.21,0:08:20.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, if we're looking\Nfor meaning in the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:22.00,0:08:24.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is our faith, this is our holy book.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.99,0:08:26.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because the reality is,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.61,0:08:28.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the point of this holy book,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.79,0:08:31.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the point of, I think, all holy books,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.19,0:08:33.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that it brings a sense of order
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.99,0:08:35.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to a very chaotic universe.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.71,0:08:39.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our view of things is so limited
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.42,0:08:44.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the universe is so complicated
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.73,0:08:47.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we have to come up\Nwith patterns and shorthands
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.53,0:08:49.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and try to figure out\Na way to interpret it
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.85,0:08:51.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and be able to get on with our day.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.68,0:08:57.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's why we need words to do that,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.23,0:08:58.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to give meaning to our lives.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.76,0:09:00.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But even more than that,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.42,0:09:03.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we need words to contain us,\Nto define ourselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.01,0:09:07.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that is, I think, a lot\Nof how we use words right now,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.25,0:09:12.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're all sort of begging\Nto be defined, in certain ways.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.79,0:09:16.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think especially now,\Nwith technology and globalization,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.30,0:09:18.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's so easy to get lost in the fog.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.06,0:09:20.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Each of us is undefined, in a way,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:20.69,0:09:23.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the world is becoming\Never more undefined.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.60,0:09:28.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, I think a lot\Nof the structures that we look to
Dialogue: 0,0:09:28.34,0:09:30.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to try to contain ourselves
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.12,0:09:31.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,look like this.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.96,0:09:36.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Both in the sense\Nof "pound" and "hashtag."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.37,0:09:37.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.03,0:09:40.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's trying to box ourselves in\Nin certain ways
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.44,0:09:45.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and say, to look for certain entries\Nand certain categories
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.06,0:09:46.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and say, "Yes, that's me."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.36,0:09:49.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What we do is look at other people
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.18,0:09:50.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and say, "You're like me ...
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.02,0:09:54.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, we are an 'us'."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.22,0:09:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that gives us meaning.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:56.98,0:09:59.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's just a way of borrowing meaning.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.19,0:10:04.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The problem is that a lot of that\Ndepends on institutions
Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.83,0:10:07.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there are so many of us now,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.60,0:10:11.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and life is now so complicated and chaotic
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.12,0:10:14.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we have to wall ourselves off.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:14.14,0:10:16.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're becoming\Nfundamentalists in our faith.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.86,0:10:18.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Literalists.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.07,0:10:21.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because we all feel these categories\Nstart to fall apart.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.91,0:10:25.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have you noticed how many\Nof our conversations now
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.32,0:10:27.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are about the definitions of words?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:28.14,0:10:32.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know how many times I've seen\Na conversation on the Huffington Post
Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.37,0:10:34.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that starts "Are you a feminist?"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:34.98,0:10:36.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What does 'feminist' mean?"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.66,0:10:39.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Who on this debate stage\Nis the real progressive?"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.26,0:10:41.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What does 'socialist' mean?"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.71,0:10:43.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Who is a 'fascist'?"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:44.99,0:10:46.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Who is a 'woman'?"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.81,0:10:47.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Caitlyn Jenner.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.23,0:10:50.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Who is 'black'?" Rachel Dolezal.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.83,0:10:53.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These are the kind of conversations\Nwe have all the time,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:53.59,0:10:55.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but they're not really about meaning.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.66,0:10:58.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're about how we package the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:58.73,0:11:01.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, I think the end result
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.37,0:11:04.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that we end up\Nlooking something like this,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.53,0:11:06.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where we allow words to define us.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.98,0:11:10.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We forget that all words are made up.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.34,0:11:15.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're just models of how the world\Ncould be or should be,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:15.37,0:11:19.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so, we're all withdrawing\Nin our own communities of concern,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.28,0:11:20.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,speaking in our own languages
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.87,0:11:25.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when in fact, the world is more than that.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.01,0:11:29.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think all of us feel
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.10,0:11:33.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the categories that we use\Nto give our lives meaning
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.15,0:11:35.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't necessarily fit us all that well.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.14,0:11:39.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, we have to explain to people that,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.68,0:11:42.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that, "Yes, I subscribe to this,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.49,0:11:44.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that doesn't define me.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.66,0:11:46.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have to keep doing this over and over,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.74,0:11:52.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,negotiating how we fit\Ninto the categories that we have.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.33,0:11:56.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think a lot of us feel boxed in
Dialogue: 0,0:11:57.25,0:11:58.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by how we use these words.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.85,0:12:01.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We forget that words are made up.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.21,0:12:03.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not just my words.\NAll words are made up,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.21,0:12:05.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but not all of them mean something.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:07.02,0:12:09.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so I think what I'd like to --
Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.18,0:12:15.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The image I have of where we are today,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:15.18,0:12:16.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think of Anne Frank.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:17.55,0:12:21.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because she was in her little\Napartment in Amsterdam
Dialogue: 0,0:12:21.60,0:12:24.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in a time when everyone around her
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.41,0:12:26.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was trying to organize humanity
Dialogue: 0,0:12:26.28,0:12:29.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a way that made sense\Nwith clean lines and brutal efficiency,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.66,0:12:33.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she was on the inside,\Norganizing her own humanity.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:33.79,0:12:36.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think there's something\Nreally beautiful about that,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:36.54,0:12:39.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because a lot of it was\Nabout her own confusion
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.77,0:12:41.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and her own vulnerability.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.80,0:12:45.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think that's why we need\Na new kind of language
Dialogue: 0,0:12:45.57,0:12:47.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that looks a little more like this.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.58,0:12:50.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because each of us could be anyone.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.78,0:12:53.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At any given time,\Nwe are not just one person,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.63,0:12:55.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we are many people at once.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:56.39,0:13:01.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, we have to get more in line\Nwith how the world actually is,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:01.35,0:13:05.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not to get too caught up in the models\Nthat we've imposed on the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.91,0:13:10.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,GPS devices tend to warn you,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:10.97,0:13:14.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reminding you that the map you see\Nis not the real world,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.59,0:13:16.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so don't run into a lake.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:16.98,0:13:18.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:18.68,0:13:20.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think we need the same reminder,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:20.68,0:13:22.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the map is not the real world
Dialogue: 0,0:13:22.55,0:13:25.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so if we run into these problems,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:26.80,0:13:29.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have an option\Nto define things for ourself;
Dialogue: 0,0:13:29.23,0:13:33.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we don't necessarily\Njust have to borrow the meanings
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.83,0:13:35.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that give meaning to our lives.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:36.89,0:13:38.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is possible --
Dialogue: 0,0:13:38.07,0:13:41.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I know this because\NI've been doing it the last seven years --
Dialogue: 0,0:13:41.28,0:13:42.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to come up with new metaphors
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.72,0:13:44.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that make the invisible visible.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:45.86,0:13:48.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's something\Nreally beautiful about that.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:48.90,0:13:53.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think if we got\Nin a better relationship with chaos,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:54.37,0:13:58.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we stopped trying to oversimplify
Dialogue: 0,0:13:58.84,0:14:03.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the interior storm\Nthat all of us are facing
Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.10,0:14:05.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the confusion and the vulnerability,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:05.79,0:14:08.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how complicated the world really is,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:08.64,0:14:11.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then we could feel\Na little more comfortable in our skin
Dialogue: 0,0:14:11.59,0:14:14.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we wouldn't have to withdraw
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.18,0:14:16.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,within the categories\Nthat we allow to define us.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:16.51,0:14:19.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we could take the power\Nback from our words
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.22,0:14:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and define them.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.36,0:14:23.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think that's a little more\Nhealthy relationship.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:23.93,0:14:27.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know how many conversations\Nwould be benefited by someone --
Dialogue: 0,0:14:28.17,0:14:29.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like the game Catch Phrase,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.59,0:14:34.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where you're given\Nthe actual topic you're talking about,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:34.40,0:14:36.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so the challenge is,\N"Don't say that word."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:36.52,0:14:39.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think if we all did that,\Nwe would be a little better off.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:40.92,0:14:44.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because it would allow\Ncertain lexical fluidity
Dialogue: 0,0:14:44.37,0:14:46.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I think we're losing now.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:46.27,0:14:50.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're all just sort of\Ntrapped in our own lexicons
Dialogue: 0,0:14:50.39,0:14:55.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that don't necessarily correlate\Nwith people who aren't already like us,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:55.15,0:14:59.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so I think I feel us drifting apart\Na little more every year,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:59.79,0:15:01.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more seriously we take words.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:04.27,0:15:07.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because remember, words are not real.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:07.99,0:15:09.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They don't have meaning. We do.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:09.80,0:15:11.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think it's important to remember that.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:11.78,0:15:16.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if we took some sense\Nof creativity and authorship
Dialogue: 0,0:15:16.42,0:15:18.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in inventing who we are,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:18.56,0:15:19.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is possible.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:20.36,0:15:25.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is possible to try to reach\Nfor richer metaphors.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:25.76,0:15:27.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This world has never been as complicated,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:27.86,0:15:31.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and our lives have never been\Nmore complicated than they are right now.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:31.30,0:15:36.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, instead of reaching\Nfor the nearest standardized word,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:36.61,0:15:38.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or just begging to be\Ndiagnosed with something,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:38.95,0:15:41.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is worth actually being present,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:41.79,0:15:43.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in sadness, for example.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:43.96,0:15:45.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the chaos of emotion.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:46.68,0:15:48.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think that's worth doing.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:48.42,0:15:50.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think we need new lenses
Dialogue: 0,0:15:50.68,0:15:55.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to help contextualize the chaos\Nthat we face all the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:55.30,0:15:56.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if we do that,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:56.75,0:16:01.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if each of us is willing\Nto actually define who it is we are
Dialogue: 0,0:16:01.34,0:16:03.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with some sense of creativity,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:03.64,0:16:06.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think the world could look\Na little more like this.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:07.48,0:16:08.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Really messy.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:09.20,0:16:10.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think we are really messy people
Dialogue: 0,0:16:11.06,0:16:12.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the world is a really messy world.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:13.82,0:16:15.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think this would not be so bad,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:15.75,0:16:17.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,us pouring out of these institutions,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:17.63,0:16:20.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which are weakening all the time,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:20.14,0:16:21.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and meeting each other as we are,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:21.96,0:16:24.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in all our vulnerability,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:24.38,0:16:26.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wearing our emotions on our sleeves.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:27.52,0:16:28.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:29.68,0:16:30.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as messy as it is,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:32.53,0:16:36.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it would be a little more\Nfulfilling to do that.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:37.40,0:16:40.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'd like to leave you with a reading
Dialogue: 0,0:16:40.68,0:16:43.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from one of my favorite philosophers,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:43.32,0:16:45.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bill Watterson, who created\N"Calvin and Hobbes."
Dialogue: 0,0:16:45.88,0:16:47.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:47.96,0:16:51.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Creating a life that reflects\Nyour values and satisfies your soul
Dialogue: 0,0:16:51.80,0:16:53.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is a rare achievement.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:53.48,0:16:55.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To invent your own life's meaning
Dialogue: 0,0:16:55.96,0:16:57.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not easy,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:57.52,0:16:59.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it is still allowed,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:59.36,0:17:01.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I think you'll be\Nhappier for the trouble."
Dialogue: 0,0:17:02.24,0:17:03.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:03.48,0:17:08.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)