I started finding it really hard to get up in the mornings
and despite feeling really tired during the day, I just couldn't sleep at night.
I lost motivation for a lot of things,
even normal everyday activities, I just
found it too difficult and I
just couldn't be bothered to do it.
And the things that I used to really love, like reading and
going out with friends, I just couldn't be bothered with anymore.
I used to consider myself quite a sociable person.
I was on the university netball team and was always going out with my teammates
and people from my course, often to arena.
But I just couldn't be bothered to socialize.
Spent a lot more time on my own in my room,
only really coming out when I had to.
I just was avoiding people all the time. My friends and my family,
my relationship with my boyfriend, I felt quite strained as well.
He told me that I'd changed,
that I'd become distant and boring,
which, made me feel even worse because I didn't know why
I was feeling the way I was feeling anyway.
I just felt really alone
and of no use to anybody else.
I used to do quite well at UNI,
I worked hard, got quite good grades
but motivation just went.
I wasn't meeting deadlines because I couldn't concentrate
and I lost my appetite as well. I just wasn't interested in eating,
didn't feel like eating.
so, I lost weight.
I know, generally just wasn't caring about my appearance.
And things like washing my hair and putting on makeup and wearing nice clothes.
I just couldn't be bothered with, didn't seem worth doing.
And I think it was the physical changes that alerted
friends and family to the fact that something was wrong.