WEBVTT

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Growing up as a kid in Ireland,

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we had pretty much
zero percent immigration.

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I was the brownest person for miles.

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(Laughter)

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Just a hint of a tan.

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They were like:
"Look at him ... suspicious."

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(Laughter)

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And now, we have 17 percent immigration,

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and we are one of the only
countries in the whole world

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that doesn't have a single political party
in parliament opposing immigration.

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One of the only ones.

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We can't because we have shagged our way
into all your family trees.

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(Laughter)

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Many of you don't even know it ...

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(Laughter)

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until that day you get
your DNA test results.

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You're like: "Look at that!
I'm like 23 percent Irish!"

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(Laughter)

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This whole time,
I thought I was a Filipino.

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(Laughter)

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Three years ago, we became
the first country in the whole world,

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by popular vote,

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to legalize gay marriage.

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One of the most
steeped-in-Catholicism countries ever

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put it to the people and went,
"Gay marriage, what do you think?"

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And collectively we went,
"Yeah,feck it, why not, go on there."

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(Laughter)

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To put that into perspective,

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in 1993, homosexuality
was actually illegal in Ireland.

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And then the year before last,

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we found a guy who is half-Indian,
and gay, and made him Prime Minister.

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(Laughter)

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You go to places like America,
where I live at the moment,

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and still they're debating
having their first female president.

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In Ireland, we've had
21 years of female presidents.

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We were the first country
in the whole world

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to have back-to-back female presidents.

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We've moved on to gay, half-Indian people.

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(Laughter)

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We're woke as feck over there.

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(Laughter)

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We don't even have Chinatown in Ireland.

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We let them live with us.

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(Laughter)

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(Applause)

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All these things have happened
in a fraction of my lifetime.

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Like our lives are full of
huge changes, big huge changes,

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all the time, all around us.

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But for some reason,
when it comes to one particular thing,

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one particular feeling,

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we assume it can't really be changed.

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Fear.

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So, I did a bit of
an experiment a while ago.

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It was to do the thing I feared the most
... every single day ... for a year.

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It was a horrendous plan.

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Especially because
when I went to university,

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my nickname was Shakin' Stevens,

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after the musical icon, I suppose,
if you liked it, at the time.

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And it wasn't for the musical ability.

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I don't know if you've ever had it,

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when you stand in front
of a group of people,

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and you have to speak,

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or you're holding a bit of paper,
and you're speaking,

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and you are like: "Why is
that piece of paper moving?

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Why am I shaking while I'm speaking?"

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That happened for me every time,
and it was even worse.

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It kind of went through my body.

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So, the shaking went into my shoulders,

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down through my hips,

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and I was just involuntarily ...

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(Laughter)

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becoming a kind of Irish salsa dancer.

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But -
(Laughter)

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And it was so bad
that people would come to see it.

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(Laughter)

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That's a pretty Irish thing,
where they're like:

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"Look at him, going to pieces.
We'd better see that."

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(Laughter)

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I should have known,
I should've remembered,

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that it was possible to change this,

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but for some reason,
I think for a lot of us,

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when it comes to fear,

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we forget that we have the power
to somehow change that.

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Sometimes you just need
that catalyst to drive change.

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For me, unfortunately,
it came in the worst possible way.

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A friend of mine, Arash,

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who was the most outdoorsy
and athletic person I've ever met,

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within the space of 96 hours

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went from hiking
the John Muir Trail in California

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to lying in the John Muir hospital

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surrounded by doctors telling him
he'd never walk again,

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after suffering
a severe spinal cord injury.

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He didn't want to accept that prognosis.

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None of his friends wanted
to accept that prognosis,

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so they all rallied to do
fundraisers on his behalf

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to get him to his goal
of getting back on his feet again.

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And it kind of rubbed off on me.

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And I was like: "Well maybe
I could do something to help."

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So I organized -

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I just happen to know a comedian
who lived next door to me,

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and I was like: "If I did a comedy show,
charity show, would you do it?"

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And he said yes.

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So to Arash, I was like: "Let's do
this comedy show to raise some funds."

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And he's like: "That's a great idea man.
You're going to host it?"

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I was like: "Oh no."

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He didn't know about
the whole Shakin' Stevens thing.

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(Laughter)

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Up to that moment, I would have described
public speaking as my biggest fear,

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and as a crippling fear.

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But when you're stood there,

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and your friend is sat there
in a wheelchair, looking at you,

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that is not the term you ever
feel right about using again ...

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(Laughter)

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for a fear.

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It just made it seem
a little bit ridiculous.

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And I was like, especially like,
Irish people en masse,

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fair to say, we hate public speaking.

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But Irish people en masse,
we love speaking.

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(Laughter)

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We love it.

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You'll be like:
"Do you ever speak to people?"

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"Oh yeah, all the time."

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"In public?"
- "Oh, absolutely, yeah."

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"Public speaking?"
- "Oh no, no, no.

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(Laughter)

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Not doing that."

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All of a sudden, it just felt nonsensical.

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So it was kind of time to at least
try and get over this nonsensical fear.

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But who do you ask for help?

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Or like, who were the masters
of this topic, or where do you go to?

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And for me, I was a big fan of the theory
popularized by Malcolm Gladwell,

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that it takes 10,000 hours doing something
to make someone a master.

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So I was like: "Who are the masters
of this public speaking stuff?"

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And the answer seemed
unconventional ... but obvious.

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It's like, surely stand-up comedians
are doing this more than anybody else.

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Surely they know a lot about it.

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It turns out the average stand-up comedian
on the way to making an income

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from doing stand-up comedy,

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if they're good,

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it takes them on average about seven years
to make an income from stand-up comedy.

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The ones who are dedicated, they estimate
to spend about four hours a day

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in some way, shape, or form,
working on their craft.

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Four hours a day, by those seven years,
is roughly those 10,000 hours.

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And they do it in the worst
conditions possible.

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Like, imagine, I live in America.

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They're having a tough day and they're:

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"I'm having an emotional day today.
I feel a lot of anxiety.

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I went to the supermarket.
They'd no avocados.

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It was horrendous.
(Laughter)

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I went to Bikram yoga,
and a guy flatulated.

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It was just no, no,
it's just too much for me.

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I put four photos on Instagram.
Nobody liked them, not even my mother ...

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Now I'm going to go to this comedy club,

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make it better, add alcohol,
sit there, fold my arms,

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stare at a person and go:
'Make me laugh.'"

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(Laughter)

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It just sounds like the worst possible
environment to do this.

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So my plan was getting
considerably worse as I went along.

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Not only was I going to try and do
this public speaking for a year,

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I was going to do
stand-up comedy for a year.

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And for this terrible plan,
I blame Americans.

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They're just a lot more positive
than Irish people ...

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unnecessarily sometimes.

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Like, they will support you with anything.

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You could be like: "I'm quitting my job.

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It's a good job, and I'm going to sell
inflatable penguins on the Internet."

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And they're like:
"God that's a great plan man.

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(Laughter)

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You should try that. Bring it in."

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High five.

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(Laughter).

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Sometimes you dismiss Irish people
to be like: "Cop on to yourself.

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Get those penguins down off the Internet:
you're bringing shame to the family."

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(Laughter)

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I got reminded of this,
a bit of a social media thing:

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I posted a little video of myself
kite-surfing under the Golden Gate Bridge.

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I thought, "This will get the likes."

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Posted this, and the American
comments come in:

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"Dude that looks awesome. You go."

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Next comment:

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"Oh my God. Looks like
you had the perfect day.

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Hope you had a great time."

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Irish comment:

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"I hope a shark bites your balls off."

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(Laughter)

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And that was my mother.

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(Laughter)

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So, safe to say,

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I wasn't really ready to tell Irish people
about the plan that I was having.

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I needed a way to hide it from them.

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And it turns out it's quite hard
to clock up the stage time needed

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to get some experience as a comedian
if you don't have any experience.

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So, I had to make it look like
I'd been around for a while doing comedy.

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Americans couldn't really
pronounce my last name,

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a little bit strange
even by Irish standards: Nihill.

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So they kept calling me Irish Dave.

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So, I was like:

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"Well, there's a stage name
that sounds pretty horrendous."

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The idea was that I was already good
at doing comedy in Ireland,

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and I just happened to be
in America for a while.

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It needed to look like
he'd been around a while.

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So, alright, Irish Dave,
let's go with that,

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made him a website,
made him look pretty good online.

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Facebook page,

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Facebook fans, which mildly
controversially at the time,

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you could just buy on the Internet.

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(Laughter)

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So I was pretty big there for a while ...

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(Laughter)

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especially in India.

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(Laughter)

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The first booked show I did
was five ladies and I.

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That comedy show was called
"Oestrogen entrée, with a side of balls."

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I was that side of balls.

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(Laughter)

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A very proud moment as you can imagine.

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But thankfully, it went up from there,

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and I started doing all these comedy clubs
and shows and festivals.

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At the end of that year, I found myself
on stage in front of 1400 people

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in America's largest
storytelling competition.

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And I'm about to lay an egg.

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Because, after your story,

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they judge you in front of
all the other people.

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So it's like diving in the Olympics.

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They actually hold up a scorecard
from 0 to 10 about how you just did.

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That sounds horrendous.

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That's like you losing your virginity,

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and someone just popping up
at the end of your bed ...

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I mean like: 2

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(Laughter)

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Room for improvement.

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(Laughter)

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The funny thing is
that by the end of this time,

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I was learning a lot that comedians
were learning the hard way.

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We'd done the charity event for Arash.

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It went really, really well.

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Nobody would have noticed Shakin' Stevens.

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What I was learning, over time,

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and through repetition
and knowledge from this group of people,

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was not how to overcome a fear,

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but how to manage a fear,
and, in my case, how to hide a fear.

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And I think we're sold that
quite a lot in life.

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"Here's the easy way
to overcome your fear."

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You might never overcome it,

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but just at least tell me
how to manage it,

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like stop the Shakin' Stevens bit.

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And a key part of it was just
telling yourself in your head

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that you are not nervous.

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Of course you are.

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The sweating is coming,

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and I'm like the salsa dancing
is coming back,

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but people are like:
"Just tell yourself you're excited."

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Look at how it were like
2,000 of you today:

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I was like: "Ah, I'm so excited."

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(Laughter)

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So, I literally found myself on stage,

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1400 people,

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and there's three comedians out of ten
in this competition of storytelling.

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So, of course, my theory is they're
the true masters going to come 1, 2 and 3.

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And Arash has got wind that I'm in this
under the sneaky name Irish Dave,

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and he's come, so they're
all there in the audience.

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I am laying an egg.

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I don't have butterflies
in my chest; I have pigeons.

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If you'd touch my hand
before I went on stage,

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it felt like a mackerel
just went like that.

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(Laughter)

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If you'd hugged me, same as today,

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you'd feel like you'd hugged
someone got out of a shower.

00:11:59.098 --> 00:12:00.806
You're like: What's going on there?

00:12:00.806 --> 00:12:02.507
But it was just hiding them, right?

00:12:02.509 --> 00:12:04.250
So we're doing this competition,

00:12:04.276 --> 00:12:08.493
and at this stage I had written a book 
I'd self-published about my experience,

00:12:08.493 --> 00:12:10.223
and I'd just sold it to a publisher,

00:12:10.223 --> 00:12:13.291
and they were like: "We're going
to need a new ending on this."

00:12:13.295 --> 00:12:16.689
So I'm like: "Winning this competition,
that could be a good ending."

00:12:16.689 --> 00:12:18.603
So towards the end of this competition -

00:12:18.603 --> 00:12:21.526
1, 2 and 3, as I anticipated,
are the comedians -

00:12:21.526 --> 00:12:24.247
and I'm winning, and there's
only one person left.

00:12:24.247 --> 00:12:25.455
And this lady goes -

00:12:25.455 --> 00:12:27.140
no comedic background or training -

00:12:27.140 --> 00:12:29.663
gets on stage and is amazing and kills it.

00:12:29.663 --> 00:12:31.718
And they're in bits
laughing at everything,

00:12:31.718 --> 00:12:32.980
and she wins.

00:12:32.987 --> 00:12:37.210
I was like: "Oh well,
there goes me ending here."

00:12:37.632 --> 00:12:40.746
And I was like: "How did you do that?

00:12:40.752 --> 00:12:41.952
I was fascinated.

00:12:41.952 --> 00:12:45.159
I've studied this for ages,
but you wiped the floor with everybody.

00:12:45.159 --> 00:12:47.276
She's: "I've been studying
comedians a lot.

00:12:47.276 --> 00:12:49.166
I've been reading a lot about it."

00:12:49.166 --> 00:12:51.101
I was like: "What did you read? Tell me.

00:12:51.101 --> 00:12:53.733
Anything super helpful?
I'm publishing a book on this."

00:12:53.738 --> 00:12:55.050
And she's like: "This one."

00:12:55.055 --> 00:12:58.015
Pulling up her notes, she says,
"This book was really helpful.

00:12:58.015 --> 00:13:00.870
'Do You Talk Funny?'
by a guy called David Nihill."

00:13:01.561 --> 00:13:04.503
(Laughter)

00:13:05.125 --> 00:13:07.438
I say, "You beat me with my own book."

00:13:07.465 --> 00:13:09.771
(Laughter)

00:13:10.763 --> 00:13:13.612
Oh! And I thought, right,
that's the end of that.

00:13:13.685 --> 00:13:17.473
Told the story, and sure enough,
a week or so after, this guy contacts me.

00:13:17.473 --> 00:13:19.663
"Would you be interested
in doing a TED talk?

00:13:19.663 --> 00:13:21.959
I liked your story.
Would you like to share it?"

00:13:21.959 --> 00:13:24.399
And I said, "Ooh,
now this would be a good ending."

00:13:24.399 --> 00:13:25.653
And then: "Wait a minute.

00:13:25.653 --> 00:13:27.046
I have a friend called Arash,

00:13:27.046 --> 00:13:30.206
and he's the reason I got into
all this mess in the first place,

00:13:30.206 --> 00:13:31.819
and all this lunacy started.

00:13:31.819 --> 00:13:35.408
His story's more powerful and better
than anyone's I think I've ever heard.

00:13:35.408 --> 00:13:37.278
Could I send you a little video of him?

00:13:37.278 --> 00:13:40.482
He did a practice run with an audience
using comedians' techniques.

00:13:40.482 --> 00:13:43.200
Could I send you that?
Maybe you'd consider booking him?"

00:13:43.200 --> 00:13:44.699
And he booked him in my place.

00:13:44.699 --> 00:13:46.465
And I was there backstage watching

00:13:46.465 --> 00:13:49.576
when Arash got
a 51-second standing ovation

00:13:49.576 --> 00:13:52.970
as he told everybody
how he trained for one whole year,

00:13:52.970 --> 00:13:54.031
keeping it a secret,

00:13:54.031 --> 00:13:56.708
with the sole goal of standing again
on his own two feet

00:13:56.708 --> 00:13:59.590
so he could propose to his beautiful
girlfriend, eye to eye.

00:13:59.743 --> 00:14:01.843
He didn't want to do it
from his wheelchair.

00:14:01.843 --> 00:14:03.240
And, of course, she said yes.

00:14:03.359 --> 00:14:06.280
So, at the end, he stood up
from his wheelchair, on stage,

00:14:06.280 --> 00:14:08.760
doing something doctors told me
he'd never do again.

00:14:08.760 --> 00:14:12.470
She came out and joined them,
and the whole place just lost their mind.

00:14:12.558 --> 00:14:14.948
And I get hairs in the back
of my neck standing up

00:14:14.948 --> 00:14:16.564
just telling you guys about it.

00:14:17.229 --> 00:14:18.563
The comedy event we did

00:14:18.563 --> 00:14:21.425
became a recurring event
called "Comedy for a Spinal Cause".

00:14:21.425 --> 00:14:24.379
Today, we've raised for people
with spinal cord injuries

00:14:24.379 --> 00:14:26.490
just over $45,000.

00:14:26.876 --> 00:14:28.276
Arash wrote a book -

00:14:28.441 --> 00:14:31.440
(Applause)

00:14:35.531 --> 00:14:37.526
Arash wrote a book about his experiences.

00:14:37.526 --> 00:14:39.377
He started a non-profit.

00:14:39.377 --> 00:14:41.278
He continues his recovery,

00:14:41.278 --> 00:14:43.912
and continues to be
an inspiration around him.

00:14:44.307 --> 00:14:47.362
Six weeks from today,
in this very hall in Manchester,

00:14:47.362 --> 00:14:49.375
there's going to be a musical act planned.

00:14:49.375 --> 00:14:52.030
Ironically, his name is Shakin' Stevens.

00:14:52.030 --> 00:14:53.497
(Laughter)

00:14:53.604 --> 00:14:54.863
What are the chances!?

00:14:54.920 --> 00:14:57.712
If you take nothing away
from all this lunacy,

00:14:57.712 --> 00:15:00.097
it's our lives are full of change,

00:15:00.101 --> 00:15:01.382
and, a lot of the time,

00:15:01.382 --> 00:15:04.079
we can drive and control
that change more than we think,

00:15:04.079 --> 00:15:07.080
whether it's just some
involuntary dancing moves,

00:15:07.080 --> 00:15:10.051
a feeling that you have,
or a whole country.

00:15:10.426 --> 00:15:12.102
You might not overcome a fear,

00:15:12.102 --> 00:15:15.655
but with help from the right people,
I believe you can learn to manage it.

00:15:15.912 --> 00:15:19.017
Public speaking, ultimately,
if it's one of your biggest fears,

00:15:19.017 --> 00:15:21.811
like it's mine and so many
other people's out there,

00:15:21.811 --> 00:15:24.089
try and tell yourself you're excited,

00:15:24.089 --> 00:15:26.249
no matter how many people
are looking at you.

00:15:26.249 --> 00:15:29.611
Remember, at the end of the day,
it's just you sharing your story.

00:15:29.611 --> 00:15:31.520
You know it better than anyone else,

00:15:31.520 --> 00:15:34.003
and you never know
what'll happen when you tell it.

00:15:34.003 --> 00:15:36.445
And if you need help
along the way, ask a comedian.

00:15:36.469 --> 00:15:38.519
I believe they're
the world's true masters.

00:15:38.519 --> 00:15:39.519
Thank you very much.

00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:41.633
(Applause)