WEBVTT 00:00:01.043 --> 00:00:04.304 What an intriguing group of individuals you are ... 00:00:05.505 --> 00:00:06.953 to a psychologist. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:06.977 --> 00:00:08.416 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:08.440 --> 00:00:11.546 I've had the opportunity over the last couple of days 00:00:11.570 --> 00:00:14.156 of listening in on some of your conversations 00:00:14.984 --> 00:00:17.150 and watching you interact with each other. 00:00:17.174 --> 00:00:19.699 And I think it's fair to say, already, 00:00:19.723 --> 00:00:24.911 that there are 47 people in this audience, 00:00:25.494 --> 00:00:26.712 at this moment, 00:00:27.414 --> 00:00:31.547 displaying psychological symptoms I would like to discuss today. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:31.571 --> 00:00:32.918 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:32.942 --> 00:00:35.944 And I thought you might like to know who you are. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:35.968 --> 00:00:37.391 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:37.415 --> 00:00:39.102 But instead of pointing at you, 00:00:39.126 --> 00:00:42.324 which would be gratuitous and intrusive, 00:00:42.865 --> 00:00:45.866 I thought I would tell you a few facts and stories, 00:00:45.890 --> 00:00:48.927 in which you may catch a glimpse of yourself. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:50.089 --> 00:00:54.325 I'm in the field of research known as personality psychology, 00:00:54.349 --> 00:00:57.789 which is part of a larger personality science 00:00:57.813 --> 00:01:02.922 which spans the full spectrum, from neurons to narratives. 00:01:03.337 --> 00:01:04.790 And what we try to do, 00:01:05.601 --> 00:01:07.164 in our own way, 00:01:07.188 --> 00:01:09.932 is to make sense of how each of us -- 00:01:10.793 --> 00:01:12.019 each of you -- 00:01:12.467 --> 00:01:14.545 is, in certain respects, 00:01:14.569 --> 00:01:15.932 like all other people, 00:01:16.993 --> 00:01:18.377 like some other people 00:01:19.243 --> 00:01:21.261 and like no other person. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:22.579 --> 00:01:25.746 Now, already you may be saying of yourself, 00:01:25.770 --> 00:01:27.515 "I'm not intriguing. 00:01:29.597 --> 00:01:35.046 I am the 46th most boring person in the Western Hemisphere." 00:01:35.895 --> 00:01:38.184 Or you may say of yourself, 00:01:38.208 --> 00:01:40.115 "I am intriguing, 00:01:41.252 --> 00:01:45.203 even if I am regarded by most people as a great, thundering twit." NOTE Paragraph 00:01:45.227 --> 00:01:46.417 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:46.441 --> 00:01:52.301 But it is your self-diagnosed boringness and your inherent "twitiness" 00:01:52.325 --> 00:01:56.752 that makes me, as a psychologist, really fascinated by you. 00:01:57.172 --> 00:01:59.523 So let me explain why this is so. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:00.284 --> 00:02:04.445 One of the most influential approaches in personality science 00:02:04.469 --> 00:02:06.059 is known as trait psychology, 00:02:06.083 --> 00:02:11.452 and it aligns you along five dimensions which are normally distributed, 00:02:11.476 --> 00:02:18.466 and that describe universally held aspects of difference between people. 00:02:19.379 --> 00:02:21.708 They spell out the acronym OCEAN. 00:02:22.105 --> 00:02:25.156 So, "O" stands for "open to experience," 00:02:25.180 --> 00:02:27.531 versus those who are more closed. 00:02:27.555 --> 00:02:30.730 "C" stands for "conscientiousness," 00:02:30.754 --> 00:02:34.398 in contrast to those with a more lackadaisical approach to life. 00:02:34.422 --> 00:02:39.065 "E" -- "extroversion," in contrast to more introverted people. 00:02:39.089 --> 00:02:41.781 "A" -- "agreeable individuals," 00:02:41.805 --> 00:02:45.227 in contrast to those decidedly not agreeable. 00:02:45.599 --> 00:02:48.243 And "N" -- "neurotic individuals," 00:02:48.267 --> 00:02:50.940 in contrast to those who are more stable. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:52.268 --> 00:02:55.658 All of these dimensions have implications for our well-being, 00:02:55.682 --> 00:02:58.188 for how our life goes. 00:02:58.762 --> 00:03:01.111 And so we know that, for example, 00:03:01.135 --> 00:03:06.110 openness and conscientiousness are very good predictors of life success, 00:03:06.829 --> 00:03:11.206 but the open people achieve that success through being audacious 00:03:11.230 --> 00:03:13.408 and, occasionally, odd. 00:03:14.077 --> 00:03:18.442 The conscientious people achieve it through sticking to deadlines, 00:03:18.466 --> 00:03:22.388 to persevering, as well as having some passion. 00:03:23.662 --> 00:03:27.548 Extroversion and agreeableness are both conducive 00:03:27.572 --> 00:03:30.150 to working well with people. 00:03:30.866 --> 00:03:33.854 Extroverts, for example, I find intriguing. 00:03:33.878 --> 00:03:36.861 With my classes, I sometimes give them a basic fact 00:03:36.885 --> 00:03:39.852 that might be revealing with respect to their personality: 00:03:40.356 --> 00:03:45.402 I tell them that it is virtually impossible for adults 00:03:45.426 --> 00:03:49.263 to lick the outside of their own elbow. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:49.287 --> 00:03:50.541 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:03:50.565 --> 00:03:51.949 Did you know that? 00:03:53.505 --> 00:03:57.694 Already, some of you have tried to lick the outside of your own elbow. 00:03:57.718 --> 00:03:59.494 But extroverts amongst you 00:03:59.518 --> 00:04:02.129 are probably those who have not only tried, 00:04:02.153 --> 00:04:04.643 but they have successfully licked the elbow 00:04:04.667 --> 00:04:06.358 of the person sitting next to them. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:06.382 --> 00:04:07.384 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:04:07.408 --> 00:04:09.093 Those are the extroverts. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:09.117 --> 00:04:12.536 Let me deal in a bit more detail with extroversion, 00:04:12.560 --> 00:04:15.519 because it's consequential and it's intriguing, 00:04:15.543 --> 00:04:19.024 and it helps us understand what I call our three natures. 00:04:19.048 --> 00:04:22.719 First, our biogenic nature -- our neurophysiology. 00:04:22.743 --> 00:04:25.726 Second, our sociogenic or second nature, 00:04:26.279 --> 00:04:30.137 which has to do with the cultural and social aspects of our lives. 00:04:30.744 --> 00:04:37.647 And third, what makes you individually you -- idiosyncratic -- 00:04:38.190 --> 00:04:41.236 what I call your "idiogenic" nature. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:41.260 --> 00:04:42.416 Let me explain. 00:04:44.901 --> 00:04:48.386 One of the things that characterizes extroverts is they need stimulation. 00:04:48.971 --> 00:04:53.695 And that stimulation can be achieved by finding things that are exciting: 00:04:53.719 --> 00:04:57.756 loud noises, parties and social events here at TED -- 00:04:57.780 --> 00:05:01.007 you see the extroverts forming a magnetic core. 00:05:01.031 --> 00:05:02.690 They all gather together. 00:05:02.714 --> 00:05:04.129 And I've seen you. 00:05:04.153 --> 00:05:07.476 The introverts are more likely to spend time in the quiet spaces 00:05:07.500 --> 00:05:09.323 up on the second floor, 00:05:09.347 --> 00:05:13.139 where they are able to reduce stimulation -- 00:05:13.163 --> 00:05:17.098 and may be misconstrued as being antisocial, 00:05:17.122 --> 00:05:20.120 but you're not necessarily antisocial. 00:05:21.310 --> 00:05:24.208 It may be that you simply realize that you do better 00:05:25.436 --> 00:05:29.847 when you have a chance to lower that level of stimulation. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:30.998 --> 00:05:35.146 Sometimes it's an internal stimulant, from your body. 00:05:35.170 --> 00:05:40.085 Caffeine, for example, works much better with extroverts than it does introverts. 00:05:40.109 --> 00:05:43.288 When extroverts come into the office at nine o'clock in the morning 00:05:43.312 --> 00:05:46.197 and say, "I really need a cup of coffee," 00:05:46.221 --> 00:05:47.372 they're not kidding -- 00:05:47.396 --> 00:05:48.569 they really do. 00:05:49.531 --> 00:05:51.337 Introverts do not do as well, 00:05:51.361 --> 00:05:53.878 particularly if the tasks they're engaged in -- 00:05:54.913 --> 00:05:56.458 and they've had some coffee -- 00:05:56.482 --> 00:05:58.620 if those tasks are speeded, 00:05:58.644 --> 00:06:00.523 and if they're quantitative, 00:06:00.547 --> 00:06:04.941 introverts may give the appearance of not being particularly quantitative. 00:06:05.580 --> 00:06:07.220 But it's a misconstrual. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:07.244 --> 00:06:10.288 So here are the consequences that are really quite intriguing: 00:06:10.312 --> 00:06:12.395 we're not always what seem to be, 00:06:12.419 --> 00:06:15.703 and that takes me to my next point. 00:06:16.196 --> 00:06:18.752 I should say, before getting to this, 00:06:18.776 --> 00:06:21.456 something about sexual intercourse, 00:06:21.480 --> 00:06:23.581 although I may not have time. 00:06:23.605 --> 00:06:26.477 And so, if you would like me to -- 00:06:26.501 --> 00:06:27.652 yes, you would? 00:06:27.676 --> 00:06:28.827 OK. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:28.851 --> 00:06:29.936 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:29.960 --> 00:06:31.120 There are studies done 00:06:31.144 --> 00:06:36.469 on the frequency with which individuals engage in the conjugal act, 00:06:37.406 --> 00:06:40.645 as broken down by male, female; introvert, extrovert. 00:06:41.100 --> 00:06:42.251 So I ask you: 00:06:42.275 --> 00:06:44.347 How many times per minute -- 00:06:45.162 --> 00:06:47.046 oh, I'm sorry, that was a rat study -- NOTE Paragraph 00:06:47.070 --> 00:06:49.077 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:50.151 --> 00:06:51.953 How many times per month 00:06:54.715 --> 00:06:57.974 do introverted men engage in the act? 00:06:58.486 --> 00:06:59.876 3.0. 00:06:59.900 --> 00:07:01.532 Extroverted men? 00:07:01.556 --> 00:07:03.166 More or less? 00:07:03.616 --> 00:07:05.244 Yes, more. 00:07:05.607 --> 00:07:07.974 5.5 -- almost twice as much. 00:07:09.264 --> 00:07:11.832 Introverted women: 3.1. 00:07:11.856 --> 00:07:13.452 Extroverted women? 00:07:13.476 --> 00:07:16.822 Frankly, speaking as an introverted male, 00:07:16.846 --> 00:07:18.583 which I will explain later -- 00:07:18.607 --> 00:07:20.188 they are heroic. 00:07:20.973 --> 00:07:22.748 7.5. 00:07:23.782 --> 00:07:26.134 They not only handle all the male extroverts, 00:07:26.158 --> 00:07:28.251 they pick up a few introverts as well. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:28.275 --> 00:07:30.171 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:30.195 --> 00:07:32.515 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:36.796 --> 00:07:41.097 We communicate differently, extroverts and introverts. 00:07:42.576 --> 00:07:44.082 Extroverts, when they interact, 00:07:44.106 --> 00:07:48.571 want to have lots of social encounter punctuated by closeness. 00:07:48.595 --> 00:07:51.586 They'd like to stand close for comfortable communication. 00:07:52.547 --> 00:07:54.746 They like to have a lot of eye contact, 00:07:54.770 --> 00:07:56.114 or mutual gaze. 00:07:57.241 --> 00:07:58.448 We found in some research 00:07:58.472 --> 00:08:01.470 that they use more diminutive terms when they meet somebody. 00:08:01.873 --> 00:08:04.586 So when an extrovert meets a Charles, 00:08:04.610 --> 00:08:07.495 it rapidly becomes "Charlie," and then "Chuck," 00:08:07.519 --> 00:08:09.198 and then "Chuckles Baby." NOTE Paragraph 00:08:09.222 --> 00:08:10.714 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:11.032 --> 00:08:12.437 Whereas for introverts, 00:08:12.461 --> 00:08:17.366 it remains "Charles," until he's given a pass to be more intimate 00:08:17.390 --> 00:08:19.610 by the person he's talking to. 00:08:20.044 --> 00:08:22.829 We speak differently. 00:08:24.934 --> 00:08:30.171 Extroverts prefer black-and-white, concrete, simple language. 00:08:31.854 --> 00:08:35.648 Introverts prefer -- and I must again tell you 00:08:35.672 --> 00:08:40.029 that I am as extreme an introvert as you could possibly imagine -- 00:08:40.853 --> 00:08:42.570 we speak differently. 00:08:42.594 --> 00:08:46.589 We prefer contextually complex, 00:08:46.613 --> 00:08:48.545 contingent, 00:08:48.569 --> 00:08:50.585 weasel-word sentences -- NOTE Paragraph 00:08:50.609 --> 00:08:51.632 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:51.656 --> 00:08:53.018 More or less. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:53.385 --> 00:08:54.821 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:54.845 --> 00:08:56.045 As it were. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:56.069 --> 00:08:57.084 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:57.108 --> 00:08:59.108 Not to put too fine a point upon it -- 00:08:59.848 --> 00:09:01.021 like that. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:01.955 --> 00:09:03.357 When we talk, 00:09:03.381 --> 00:09:05.123 we sometimes talk past each other. 00:09:05.724 --> 00:09:08.352 I had a consulting contract I shared with a colleague 00:09:08.376 --> 00:09:11.380 who's as different from me as two people can possibly be. 00:09:11.739 --> 00:09:13.518 First, his name is Tom. 00:09:14.499 --> 00:09:15.713 Mine isn't. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:15.737 --> 00:09:17.008 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:09:17.032 --> 00:09:18.963 Secondly, he's six foot five. 00:09:18.987 --> 00:09:20.939 I have a tendency not to be. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:20.963 --> 00:09:22.006 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:09:22.030 --> 00:09:25.753 And thirdly, he's as extroverted a person as you could find. 00:09:25.777 --> 00:09:28.157 I am seriously introverted. 00:09:28.670 --> 00:09:30.365 I overload so much, 00:09:30.389 --> 00:09:35.203 I can't even have a cup of coffee after three in the afternoon 00:09:35.227 --> 00:09:37.515 and expect to sleep in the evening. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:38.178 --> 00:09:42.130 We had seconded to this project a fellow called Michael. 00:09:43.320 --> 00:09:47.492 And Michael almost brought the project to a crashing halt. 00:09:48.528 --> 00:09:52.324 So the person who seconded him asked Tom and me, 00:09:53.244 --> 00:09:54.703 "What do you make of Michael?" 00:09:54.727 --> 00:09:56.997 Well, I'll tell you what Tom said in a minute. 00:09:57.021 --> 00:09:59.337 He spoke in classic "extrovert-ese." 00:09:59.955 --> 00:10:03.530 And here is how extroverted ears heard what I said, 00:10:03.554 --> 00:10:05.507 which is actually pretty accurate. 00:10:05.531 --> 00:10:09.791 I said, "Well Michael does have a tendency at times 00:10:10.385 --> 00:10:13.671 of behaving in a way that some of us might see 00:10:14.489 --> 00:10:18.624 as perhaps more assertive than is normally called for." NOTE Paragraph 00:10:18.941 --> 00:10:21.251 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:21.611 --> 00:10:23.388 Tom rolled his eyes and he said, 00:10:23.412 --> 00:10:25.941 "Brian, that's what I said: 00:10:26.629 --> 00:10:28.029 he's an asshole!" NOTE Paragraph 00:10:28.053 --> 00:10:30.230 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:30.254 --> 00:10:32.075 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:33.509 --> 00:10:34.776 Now, as an introvert, 00:10:34.800 --> 00:10:39.981 I might gently allude to certain "assholic" qualities 00:10:40.005 --> 00:10:41.300 in this man's behavior, 00:10:41.324 --> 00:10:44.128 but I'm not going to lunge for the a-word. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:44.152 --> 00:10:45.928 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:47.228 --> 00:10:48.494 But the extrovert says, 00:10:48.518 --> 00:10:51.392 "If he walks like one, if he talks like one, I call him one." 00:10:51.416 --> 00:10:52.828 And we go past each other. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:53.498 --> 00:10:57.464 Now is this something that we should be heedful of? 00:10:57.488 --> 00:10:58.654 Of course. 00:10:58.678 --> 00:11:00.262 It's important that we know this. 00:11:00.286 --> 00:11:01.825 Is that all we are? 00:11:02.670 --> 00:11:04.711 Are we just a bunch of traits? 00:11:05.563 --> 00:11:06.825 No, we're not. 00:11:08.116 --> 00:11:10.372 Remember, you're like some other people 00:11:11.266 --> 00:11:12.975 and like no other person. 00:11:13.487 --> 00:11:15.922 How about that idiosyncratic you? 00:11:16.485 --> 00:11:19.736 As Elizabeth or as George, 00:11:19.760 --> 00:11:22.640 you may share your extroversion or your neuroticism. 00:11:24.251 --> 00:11:28.258 But are there some distinctively Elizabethan features of your behavior, 00:11:28.282 --> 00:11:30.479 or Georgian of yours, 00:11:31.732 --> 00:11:35.582 that make us understand you better than just a bunch of traits? 00:11:36.240 --> 00:11:38.643 That make us love you? 00:11:39.461 --> 00:11:42.455 Not just because you're a certain type of person. NOTE Paragraph 00:11:43.188 --> 00:11:45.812 I'm uncomfortable putting people in pigeonholes. 00:11:47.081 --> 00:11:49.672 I don't even think pigeons belong in pigeonholes. 00:11:51.235 --> 00:11:53.304 So what is it that makes us different? 00:11:54.004 --> 00:11:58.901 It's the doings that we have in our life -- the personal projects. 00:11:59.403 --> 00:12:01.224 You have a personal project right now, 00:12:01.248 --> 00:12:04.334 but nobody may know it here. 00:12:05.504 --> 00:12:07.312 It relates to your kid -- 00:12:07.336 --> 00:12:09.536 you've been back three times to the hospital, 00:12:09.560 --> 00:12:11.456 and they still don't know what's wrong. 00:12:13.373 --> 00:12:14.697 Or it could be your mom. 00:12:16.092 --> 00:12:18.194 And you'd been acting out of character. 00:12:18.218 --> 00:12:19.780 These are free traits. 00:12:21.521 --> 00:12:24.601 You're very agreeable, but you act disagreeably 00:12:24.625 --> 00:12:28.498 in order to break down those barriers of administrative torpor 00:12:28.522 --> 00:12:29.673 in the hospital, 00:12:29.697 --> 00:12:32.323 to get something for your mom or your child. NOTE Paragraph 00:12:33.814 --> 00:12:35.321 What are these free traits? 00:12:35.345 --> 00:12:37.915 They're where were enact a script 00:12:37.939 --> 00:12:40.592 in order to advance a core project in our lives. 00:12:41.744 --> 00:12:43.802 And they are what matters. 00:12:43.826 --> 00:12:46.098 Don't ask people what type you are; 00:12:46.742 --> 00:12:49.496 ask them, "What are your core projects in your life?" 00:12:49.520 --> 00:12:51.304 And we enact those free traits. 00:12:51.328 --> 00:12:52.643 I'm an introvert, 00:12:52.667 --> 00:12:57.253 but I have a core project, which is to profess. 00:12:57.640 --> 00:12:58.848 I'm a professor. 00:12:59.798 --> 00:13:01.655 And I adore my students, 00:13:03.080 --> 00:13:04.667 and I adore my field. 00:13:04.691 --> 00:13:10.469 And I can't wait to tell them about what's new, what's exciting, 00:13:11.366 --> 00:13:13.618 what I can't wait to tell them about. 00:13:13.642 --> 00:13:15.462 And so I act in an extroverted way, 00:13:15.486 --> 00:13:17.014 because at eight in the morning, 00:13:17.038 --> 00:13:19.382 the students need a little bit of humor, 00:13:19.406 --> 00:13:22.128 a little bit of engagement to keep them going 00:13:22.152 --> 00:13:23.603 in arduous days of study. NOTE Paragraph 00:13:24.277 --> 00:13:25.714 But we need to be very careful 00:13:26.456 --> 00:13:29.412 when we act protractedly out of character. 00:13:30.679 --> 00:13:35.411 Sometimes we may find that we don't take care of ourselves. 00:13:37.309 --> 00:13:41.923 I find, for example, after a period of pseudo-extroverted behavior, 00:13:41.947 --> 00:13:44.247 I need to repair somewhere on my own. 00:13:45.916 --> 00:13:49.035 As Susan Cain said in her "Quiet" book, 00:13:49.059 --> 00:13:52.031 in a chapter that featured the strange Canadian professor 00:13:52.055 --> 00:13:54.050 who was teaching at the time at Harvard, 00:13:55.145 --> 00:13:56.805 I sometimes go to the men's room 00:13:56.829 --> 00:14:00.525 to escape the slings and arrows of outrageous extroverts. NOTE Paragraph 00:14:01.069 --> 00:14:02.153 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:14:02.177 --> 00:14:08.549 I remember one particular day when I was retired to a cubicle, 00:14:08.573 --> 00:14:10.498 trying to avoid overstimulation. 00:14:11.117 --> 00:14:16.364 And a real extrovert came in beside me -- not right in my cubicle, 00:14:16.388 --> 00:14:18.343 but in the next cubicle over -- 00:14:18.367 --> 00:14:20.690 and I could hear various evacuatory noises, 00:14:20.714 --> 00:14:22.983 which we hate -- even our own, 00:14:23.007 --> 00:14:25.737 that's why we flush during as well as after. NOTE Paragraph 00:14:25.761 --> 00:14:27.493 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:32.950 And then I heard this gravelly voice saying, 00:14:32.974 --> 00:14:35.409 "Hey, is that Dr. Little?" NOTE Paragraph 00:14:35.433 --> 00:14:37.362 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:14:38.664 --> 00:14:45.031 If anything is guaranteed to constipate an introvert for six months, 00:14:45.055 --> 00:14:46.816 it's talking on the john. NOTE Paragraph 00:14:46.840 --> 00:14:48.070 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:14:48.094 --> 00:14:50.194 That's where I'm going now. 00:14:50.696 --> 00:14:52.052 Don't follow me. NOTE Paragraph 00:14:52.564 --> 00:14:53.743 Thank you. NOTE Paragraph 00:14:53.767 --> 00:15:02.885 (Applause)