[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.95,0:00:19.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My brother Chuks and my best friend\NIke are part of the organizing team,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.38,0:00:23.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so when they ask me to come,\NI couldn't say no.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.63,0:00:24.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'm so happy to be here.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.86,0:00:27.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What a fantastic team of people\Nwho care about Africa
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.42,0:00:29.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel so humble and so happy to be here.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.95,0:00:33.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm also told that the most beautiful,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.65,0:00:36.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,most amazing little girl in the world\Nis in the audience
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.77,0:00:38.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her name is Kamzia Adichie
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.40,0:00:41.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I want her to stand up...\Nshe's my niece!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.53,0:00:46.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.12,0:00:57.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I would like to start by telling you\None of my greatest friend, Okuloma.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.48,0:00:59.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okuloma lived on my street
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.22,0:01:01.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and looked after me like a big brother.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.60,0:01:06.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I liked a boy, I would ask\NOkuloma's opinion.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.06,0:01:09.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okuloma died in the notorious\NSosoliso Plane Crash
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.32,0:01:12.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in Nigeria in December of 2005.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.58,0:01:15.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Almost exactly seven years ago.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.06,0:01:21.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okuloma was a person I could argue with,\Nlaugh with, and truly talk to.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.59,0:01:25.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was also the first person\Nto call me a feminist.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.80,0:01:29.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was about fourteen,\Nwe were at his house, arguing.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.16,0:01:33.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Both of us bristling with\Nhalf bit knowledge from books we had read.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.16,0:01:36.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't remember what this\Nparticular argument was about,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.69,0:01:39.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I remember that\Nas I argued and argued,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.59,0:01:43.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okuloma looked at me and said,\N"You know, you're a feminist."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.99,0:01:46.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was not a compliment.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.86,0:01:50.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I could tell from his tone, the same tone\Nthat you would use to say something like
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.42,0:01:53.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You're a supporter of terrorism."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.16,0:01:55.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.42,0:01:59.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did not know exactly what this word\N"feminist" meant,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.24,0:02:02.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I did not want Okuloma\Nto know that I did not know,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.18,0:02:04.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I brushed it aside\Nand I continued to argue.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.92,0:02:07.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the first thing I planned to do\Nwhen I got home
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.62,0:02:10.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was to look up the word\N"feminist" in the dictionary.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.65,0:02:14.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now fast forward to some years later,\NI wrote a novel
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.00,0:02:17.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about a man who among other things\Nbeats his wife
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.56,0:02:20.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and whose story doesn't end very well.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.12,0:02:22.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,While I was promoting the novel\Nin Nigeria,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.68,0:02:28.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a journalist, a nice well-meaning man,\Ntold me he wanted to advise me.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.40,0:02:32.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And for the Nigerians here,\NI'm sure we're all familiar with
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.88,0:02:38.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how quick our people are to give\Nunsolicited advice.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.44,0:02:43.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He told me that people were saying\Nthat my novel was feminist
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.24,0:02:45.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and his advice to me --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.12,0:02:47.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he was shaking his head sadly\Nas he spoke --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.52,0:02:50.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was that I should never\Ncall myself a feminist because
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.58,0:02:54.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feminists are women who are unhappy\Nbecause they cannot find husbands.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.93,0:02:58.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.68,0:03:02.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I decided to call myself\N"a happy feminist."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.30,0:03:05.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then an academic, a Nigerian woman\Ntold me
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.99,0:03:08.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that feminism was not our culture\Nand that feminism wasn't African,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.84,0:03:11.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that I was calling myself a feminist \N
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.14,0:03:14.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I had been corrupted\Nby "Western books."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.12,0:03:17.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which amused me,\Nbecause a lot of my early readings
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.26,0:03:19.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were decidedly unfeminist.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.17,0:03:21.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think I must have read every single\NMills & Boon romance
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.77,0:03:24.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,published before I was sixteen.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.17,0:03:26.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And each time I tried to read those books
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.38,0:03:28.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,called "the feminist classics"\NI'd get bored
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.60,0:03:30.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I really struggled to finish them.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.82,0:03:33.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But anyway, since feminism was un-African,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.06,0:03:37.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I decided that I would now call myself\N"a happy African feminist."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.97,0:03:42.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At some point I was a happy\NAfrican feminist who does not hate men
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.24,0:03:43.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and who likes lip gloss
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.90,0:03:47.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and who wears high-heels\Nfor herself but not for men.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.06,0:03:50.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of course a lot of these\Nwas tongue-in-cheek,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.40,0:03:54.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that were feminists so heavy\Nwith baggage, negative baggage.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.00,0:03:56.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You hate men, you hate bras,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.65,0:03:59.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you hate African culture,\Nthat sort of thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.46,0:04:02.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now here's a story from my childhood.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.08,0:04:04.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was in primary school,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.58,0:04:09.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my teacher said at the beginning of term\Nthat she would give the class a test
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.34,0:04:12.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and whoever got the highest score\Nwould be the class monitor.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.52,0:04:15.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, class monitor was a big deal.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.17,0:04:17.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you were a class monitor,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.59,0:04:20.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you got to write down the names\Nof noise makers,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.50,0:04:24.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which was having enough power of its own.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.46,0:04:29.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But my teacher would also give you\Na cane to hold in your hand
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.23,0:04:33.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while you walk around and\Npatrol the class for noise makers.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.25,0:04:36.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now of course you're not\Nactually allowed to use the cane.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.64,0:04:40.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it was an exciting prospect\Nfor the nine-year-old me.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.56,0:04:43.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I very much wanted to be\Nthe class monitor.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.46,0:04:45.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I got the highest score on the test.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.89,0:04:49.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then, to my surprise, my teacher said that\Nthe monitor had to be a boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.24,0:04:54.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She've forgotten to make that clear earlier\Nbecause she assumed it was... obvious.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.15,0:04:56.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.67,0:04:59.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A boy had the second highest\Nscore on the test
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.88,0:05:02.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he would be monitor.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.66,0:05:05.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now what was even more\Ninteresting about this
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.26,0:05:08.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that the boy was a sweet, gentle soul
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.44,0:05:12.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who had no interest in patrolling\Nthe class with the cane,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.11,0:05:15.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while I was full of ambition to do so.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.58,0:05:18.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I was female, and he was male
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.90,0:05:21.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so he became the class monitor.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.44,0:05:24.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I've never forgotten that incident.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.31,0:05:26.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I often make the mistake of thinking that
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.99,0:05:29.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something that is obvious to me\Nis just as obvious to everyone else.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.66,0:05:32.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, take my dear friend Louis\Nfor example.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.34,0:05:34.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Louis is a brilliant, progressive man,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.41,0:05:36.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we would have conversations\Nand he would tell me,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.85,0:05:41.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't know what you mean by things\Nbeing different or harder for women.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.20,0:05:43.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe in the past, but not now."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.64,0:05:48.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I didn't understand how Louis\Ncould not see what seems so self-evident.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.36,0:05:52.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then one evening, in Lagos,\NLouis and I went out with friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.30,0:05:54.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And for people here who\Nare not familiar with Lagos,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.83,0:05:57.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's that wonderful Lagos' fixture,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.16,0:06:01.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the sprinkling of energetic man\Nwho hung around outside establishments
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.64,0:06:05.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and very dramatically "help" you\Npark your car.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.04,0:06:09.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was impressed with\Nthe particular theatrics
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.34,0:06:12.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the man who found us\Na parking spot that evening,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.63,0:06:15.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so as we were leaving,\NI decided to leave him a tip.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.50,0:06:18.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I opened my bag,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.17,0:06:19.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put my hand inside my bag,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.86,0:06:22.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,brought out my money that\NI had earned from doing my work,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.68,0:06:25.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I gave it to the man.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.98,0:06:27.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.12,0:06:30.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this man who was very grateful,\Nand very happy,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.32,0:06:32.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,took the money from me,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.34,0:06:34.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,looked across at Louis,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.12,0:06:36.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and said "Thank you, sir!"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.09,0:06:41.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.44,0:06:45.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Louis looked at me, surprised, and asked
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.10,0:06:48.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Why is he thanking me?\NI didn't give him the money."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.97,0:06:52.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then I saw realization\Ndawned on Louis' face.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.84,0:06:55.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The man believed that\Nwhatever money I had
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.94,0:06:59.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had ultimately come from Louis.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.93,0:07:02.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because Louis is a man.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.80,0:07:04.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The men and women are different.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.75,0:07:07.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have different hormones,\Nwe have different sexual organs,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.24,0:07:10.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have different biological abilities,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.20,0:07:13.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,women can have babies, men can't.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.02,0:07:14.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At least not yet.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.73,0:07:20.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Men have testosterone and are\Nin general physically stronger than women.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.64,0:07:24.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's slightly more women\Nthan men in the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.02,0:07:26.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about 52% of the world's population\Nis female.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.89,0:07:30.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But most of the positions of power\Nand prestige are occupied by men.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.77,0:07:34.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The late Kenyan Nobel Peace Laureate,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.35,0:07:37.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wangari Maathai, put it simply\Nand well when she said:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.46,0:07:41.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"The higher you go,\Nthe fewer women there are."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.82,0:07:46.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the recent US elections we kept hearing\Nof the Lilly Ledbetter law,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.27,0:07:49.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if we go beyond the nicely\Nalliterative name of that law,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.92,0:07:52.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was really about a man and a woman\N
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.74,0:07:55.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doing the same job being equally qualified
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.56,0:07:58.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the man being paid more\Nbecause he's a man.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.37,0:08:01.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So in the literal way, men rule the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.46,0:08:04.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this made sense a thousand years ago
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.70,0:08:08.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because human beings lived then in a world
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.17,0:08:12.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in which physical strength was\Nthe most important attribute for survival.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.35,0:08:17.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The physically stronger person\Nwas more likely to lead,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.40,0:08:20.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and men, in general,\Nare physically stronger.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.53,0:08:23.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of course there are many exceptions.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.37,0:08:27.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But today we live\Nin a vastly different world.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.24,0:08:32.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The person more likely to lead\Nis not the physically stronger person,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.15,0:08:35.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is the more creative person,\Nthe more intelligent person,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.79,0:08:37.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more innovative person,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.82,0:08:40.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there are no hormones\Nfor those attributes.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.66,0:08:43.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A man is as likely as a woman\Nto be intelligent,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.74,0:08:46.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be creative, to be innovative.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.79,0:08:51.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have evolved; but it seems to me\Nthat our ideas of gender had not evolved.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.15,0:08:56.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some weeks ago I walked into a lobby\Nof one of the best Nigerian hotels.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.07,0:08:58.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought about naming the hotel,\Nbut I thought I probably shouldn't,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.92,0:09:02.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a guard at the entrance stopped me\Nand ask me annoying questions,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.11,0:09:07.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because their automatic assumption is\Nthat a Nigerian female
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.23,0:09:10.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,walking into a hotel alone is a sex worker.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.81,0:09:12.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And by the way,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.18,0:09:14.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why do these hotels focus on
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.67,0:09:19.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the ostensible supply rather than\Nthe demand for sex workers?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.82,0:09:25.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In Lagos I cannot go alone into\Nmany "reputable" bars and clubs.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:25.05,0:09:27.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They just don't let you in\Nif you're a woman alone,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.25,0:09:29.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have to be accompanied by a man.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.89,0:09:32.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Each time I walk into a\NNigerian restaurant with a man,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.60,0:09:35.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the waiter greets the man and ignores me.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.44,0:09:39.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The waiters are products...
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.29,0:09:41.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at this some women felt like\N"Yes! I thought that!"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.94,0:09:44.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The waiters are products of a society that
Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.56,0:09:48.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has taught them that men are\Nmore important than women.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.27,0:09:51.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I know that waiters\Ndon't intend any harm.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.28,0:09:55.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's one thing to know intellectually\Nand quite another to feel it emotionally.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.41,0:09:57.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Each time they ignore me,\NI feel invisible.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.89,0:09:59.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel upset.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.04,0:10:03.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want to tell them I'm just as human\Nas the man,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.12,0:10:06.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I'm just as worthy\Nof acknowledgement.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.54,0:10:08.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These are little things,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.42,0:10:11.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but sometimes it's the little things\Nthat sting the most.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.37,0:10:14.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And not long ago I wrote an article
Dialogue: 0,0:10:14.14,0:10:17.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about what it means to be\Nyoung and female in Lagos,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.09,0:10:20.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the printers told me\N"It was so angry."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.09,0:10:23.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of course it was angry!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.12,0:10:26.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.07,0:10:28.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am angry.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:28.75,0:10:31.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gender as it functions today\Nis a grave injustice.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.87,0:10:33.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We should all be angry.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.46,0:10:37.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anger has a long history of\Nbringing about positive change;
Dialogue: 0,0:10:37.19,0:10:40.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but, in addition to being angry,\NI'm also hopeful.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.05,0:10:43.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I believe deeply\Nin the ability of human beings
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.85,0:10:46.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to make and remake themselves\Nfor the better.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.66,0:10:48.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gender matters everywhere in the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.91,0:10:53.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I want to focus on\NNigeria and on Africa in general,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:53.05,0:10:55.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it is where I know,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.01,0:10:56.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and because it is where my heart is.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.85,0:10:58.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I would like today to ask
Dialogue: 0,0:10:58.71,0:11:02.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we begin to dream about\Nand plan for
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.46,0:11:06.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a different world, a fairer world;
Dialogue: 0,0:11:06.26,0:11:08.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a world of happier men and happier women \N
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.95,0:11:11.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who are truer to themselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.11,0:11:12.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is how to start:
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.85,0:11:14.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we must raise our daughters differently.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.95,0:11:17.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We must also raise our sons differently.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.29,0:11:21.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We do a great disservice to boys\Non how we raise them;
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.42,0:11:24.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we stifle the humanity of boys.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.78,0:11:27.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We define masculinity in a very narrow way,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.49,0:11:30.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,masculinity becomes this hard, small cage
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.48,0:11:33.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we put boys inside the cage.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.23,0:11:36.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We teach boys to be afraid of fear.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.10,0:11:40.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We teach boys to be afraid\Nof weakness, of vulnerability.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.53,0:11:42.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We teach them to mask their true selves,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.76,0:11:47.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they have to be,\Nin Nigerian speak, "hard man!"
Dialogue: 0,0:11:48.63,0:11:52.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In secondary school, a boy and a girl,\Nboth of them teenagers,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.63,0:11:55.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,both of them with the same amount\Nof pocket money,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:55.22,0:11:58.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would go out and then\Nthe boy would be expected always
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.52,0:12:01.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to pay, to prove his masculinity.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.44,0:12:05.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And yet we wonder why boys\Nare more likely to steal money
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.16,0:12:07.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from their parents.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:07.88,0:12:10.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if both boys and girls were raised \N
Dialogue: 0,0:12:10.60,0:12:14.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not to link masculinity with money?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.18,0:12:17.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if the attitude was not\N"the boy has to pay"
Dialogue: 0,0:12:17.75,0:12:21.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but rather "whoever has more should pay"?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:21.04,0:12:23.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now of course because of that\Nhistorical advantage,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.80,0:12:25.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is mostly men who will have more today,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.100,0:12:28.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but if we start raising children\Ndifferently,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.19,0:12:30.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then in fifty years, in a hundred years,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:30.56,0:12:35.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,boys will no longer have the pressure\Nof having to prove this masculinity.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:35.46,0:12:39.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But by far the worst thing we do to males,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.02,0:12:41.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by making them feel\Nthat they have to be hard,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.34,0:12:45.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that we leave them\Nwith very fragile egos.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:45.28,0:12:49.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The more "hard-man"\Nthe man feels compelled to be,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:49.64,0:12:51.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the weaker his ego is.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.13,0:12:56.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then we do a much greater\Ndisservice to girls
Dialogue: 0,0:12:56.10,0:12:59.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we raise them to cater\Nto the fragile egos of men.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:00.57,0:13:04.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We teach girls to shrink themselves,\Nto make themselves smaller,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.07,0:13:05.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we say to girls,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:05.87,0:13:09.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You can have ambition,\Nbut not too much."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:09.28,0:13:12.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You should aim to be successful,\Nbut not too successful,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:12.47,0:13:15.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,otherwise you would threaten the man."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.20,0:13:17.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you are the breadwinner\Nin your relationship with a man,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:17.87,0:13:19.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have to pretend that you're not,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.90,0:13:24.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,especially in public, otherwise\Nyou will emasculate him.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.97,0:13:27.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what if we question\Nthe premise itself,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.54,0:13:31.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why should a woman's success\Nbe a threat to a man?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.56,0:13:35.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if we decide to simply dispose\Nof that word,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:35.13,0:13:40.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I don't think there's an English word\NI dislike more than "emasculation."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:40.93,0:13:44.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A Nigerian acquaintance once asked me\Nif I was worried that
Dialogue: 0,0:13:44.46,0:13:46.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,men would be intimidated by me.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.85,0:13:48.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was not worried at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:48.69,0:13:50.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact it had not occurred to me\Nto be worried because
Dialogue: 0,0:13:50.76,0:13:53.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a man who would be intimidated by me
Dialogue: 0,0:13:53.56,0:13:57.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is exactly the kind of man\NI would have no interest in.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:57.55,0:14:04.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)\N(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:14:04.54,0:14:07.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But still I was really struck by this.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:07.94,0:14:12.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I'm female,\NI'm expected to aspire to marriage;
Dialogue: 0,0:14:12.54,0:14:15.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm expected to make my life choices\Nalways keeping in mind
Dialogue: 0,0:14:15.18,0:14:17.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that marriage is the most important.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:17.82,0:14:20.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A marriage can be a good thing;
Dialogue: 0,0:14:20.46,0:14:24.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it can be a source of joy\Nand love and mutual support.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:24.93,0:14:27.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But why do we teach girls\Nto aspire to marriage
Dialogue: 0,0:14:27.66,0:14:30.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we don't teach boys the same?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:31.08,0:14:33.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know a woman who decided\Nto sell her house
Dialogue: 0,0:14:33.99,0:14:37.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because she didn't want to\Nintimidate a man who might marry her.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:38.22,0:14:42.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know an unmarried woman in Nigeria who,\Nwhen she goes to conferences,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:42.24,0:14:44.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wears a wedding ring
Dialogue: 0,0:14:44.23,0:14:47.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because according to her, she wants\Nthe other participants in the conference
Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.84,0:14:50.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to "give her respect."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:50.56,0:14:53.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know young women who are\Nunder so much pressure
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.35,0:14:56.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from family, from friends,\Neven from work to get married
Dialogue: 0,0:14:56.50,0:14:59.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they're pushed\Nto make terrible choices.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:59.48,0:15:02.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A woman at a certain age\Nwho is unmarried,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:02.13,0:15:06.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,our society teaches her to see it\Nas a deep, personal failure.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:06.95,0:15:10.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And a man at a certain age\Nwho is unmarried
Dialogue: 0,0:15:10.37,0:15:12.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we just think he hasn't come around\Nto making his pick.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:12.87,0:15:14.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:15:14.60,0:15:16.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's easy for us to say,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:16.72,0:15:18.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh but women can just say no\Nto all of this",
Dialogue: 0,0:15:18.96,0:15:21.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the reality is more difficult\Nand more complex.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:21.44,0:15:23.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're all social beings.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:23.16,0:15:25.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We internalize ideas\Nfrom our socialization.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:25.62,0:15:28.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even the language we use
Dialogue: 0,0:15:28.48,0:15:31.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in talking about marriage\Nand relationships illustrates this.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:31.33,0:15:34.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The language of marriage\Nis often the language of ownership
Dialogue: 0,0:15:34.19,0:15:36.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rather than the language of partnership.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:36.69,0:15:39.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We use the word "respect"
Dialogue: 0,0:15:39.74,0:15:42.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to mean something a woman shows a man
Dialogue: 0,0:15:42.78,0:15:45.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but often not something\Na man shows a woman.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:46.17,0:15:48.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Both men and women in Nigeria will say -
Dialogue: 0,0:15:48.96,0:15:51.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is an expression I'm very amused by -
Dialogue: 0,0:15:51.76,0:15:54.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I did it for peace in my marriage."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:54.56,0:15:56.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now when men say it,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:56.77,0:15:59.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it is usually about something that\Nthey should not be doing anyway.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:59.89,0:16:01.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:01.73,0:16:04.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes they say it to their friends,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:04.21,0:16:07.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's something to say to their friends\Nin a kind of fondly exasperated way,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:07.91,0:16:10.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, something that ultimately proves\Nhow masculine they are,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:10.81,0:16:12.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how needed, how loved --
Dialogue: 0,0:16:12.76,0:16:15.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh my wife said I can't go to club\Nevery night,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:15.71,0:16:18.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so for peace in my marriage,\NI do it only on weekends."
Dialogue: 0,0:16:18.45,0:16:20.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:20.49,0:16:23.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now when a woman says,\N"I did it for peace in my marriage,"
Dialogue: 0,0:16:23.93,0:16:27.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she's usually talking about having\Ngiving up a job,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:27.33,0:16:28.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a dream,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:28.92,0:16:30.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a career.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:30.85,0:16:33.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We teach females that in relationships,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:33.88,0:16:36.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,compromise is what women do.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:36.91,0:16:39.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We raise girls to see each other\Nas competitors
Dialogue: 0,0:16:39.94,0:16:43.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not for job or for accomplishments,\Nwhich I think could be a good thing,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:43.23,0:16:45.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but for attention of men.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:46.08,0:16:48.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We teach girls that they cannot be\Nsexual beings
Dialogue: 0,0:16:48.91,0:16:51.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the way that boys are.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:51.24,0:16:54.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If we have sons, we don't mind\Nknowing about our sons' girlfriends.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:54.55,0:16:56.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But our daughters' boyfriends?\NGod forbid.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:56.88,0:16:58.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:58.38,0:17:00.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But of course when the time is right,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:00.29,0:17:04.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we expect those girls to bring back\Nthe perfect man to be their husbands.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:04.40,0:17:05.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We police girls,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:05.87,0:17:07.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we praise girls for virginity,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:07.82,0:17:09.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but we don't praise boys for virginity,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:09.77,0:17:12.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's always made me wonder\Nhow exactly this is supposed to work out
Dialogue: 0,0:17:12.99,0:17:15.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because...\N(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:15.77,0:17:23.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:24.15,0:17:28.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, the loss of virginity\Nis usually a process that involves...
Dialogue: 0,0:17:28.87,0:17:30.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Recently a young woman \N
Dialogue: 0,0:17:30.75,0:17:32.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was gang raped in a University in Nigeria,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:32.90,0:17:34.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think some of us know about that.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:34.73,0:17:36.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the response of many young Nigerians,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:36.67,0:17:38.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,both male and female,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:38.10,0:17:40.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was something along the lines of this:
Dialogue: 0,0:17:40.48,0:17:42.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yes, rape is wrong.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:42.97,0:17:47.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what is a girl doing in a room\Nwith four boys?"
Dialogue: 0,0:17:47.02,0:17:52.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now if we can forget\Nthe horrible inhumanity of that response,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:52.39,0:17:57.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these Nigerians have been raised\Nto think of women as inherently guilty,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:57.74,0:18:01.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and have been raised to expect\Nso little of men
Dialogue: 0,0:18:01.23,0:18:04.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the idea of men as savage beings\Nwithout any control
Dialogue: 0,0:18:04.68,0:18:06.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is somehow acceptable.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:06.50,0:18:09.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We teach girls shame.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:09.13,0:18:11.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Close your legs",\N"Cover yourself".
Dialogue: 0,0:18:11.70,0:18:13.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We make them feel as though\Nby being born female
Dialogue: 0,0:18:13.98,0:18:16.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they're already guilty of something.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:16.26,0:18:18.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, girls grow up to be women
Dialogue: 0,0:18:18.54,0:18:20.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who cannot see they have desire.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:20.75,0:18:24.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They grow up to be women\Nwho silence themselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:25.26,0:18:28.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They grow up to be women who\Ncannot see what they truly think,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:28.52,0:18:30.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they grow up -
Dialogue: 0,0:18:30.02,0:18:32.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this is the worst thing\Nwe did to girls -
Dialogue: 0,0:18:32.27,0:18:36.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they grow up to be women\Nwho have turned pretense into an art form.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:36.81,0:18:42.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:18:42.76,0:18:46.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know a woman who hates domestic work,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:46.13,0:18:47.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she just hates it,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:47.48,0:18:49.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but she pretends that she likes it,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:50.44,0:18:54.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because she's been taught that\Nto be "good wife material"
Dialogue: 0,0:18:54.33,0:18:58.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she has to be -- to use that Nigerian word\N-- very "homely."
Dialogue: 0,0:18:59.62,0:19:00.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then she got married,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:00.88,0:19:02.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and after a while her husband's family \N
Dialogue: 0,0:19:02.86,0:19:06.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,began to complain\Nthat she had changed.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:06.64,0:19:08.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Actually she had not changed,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:08.24,0:19:10.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she just got tired of pretending.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:10.87,0:19:13.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The problem with gender,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:13.34,0:19:16.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that it prescribes how we should be
Dialogue: 0,0:19:16.38,0:19:19.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rather than recognizing how we are.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:19.80,0:19:22.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now imagine how much happier\Nwe would be,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:22.29,0:19:25.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how much freer to be\Nour true individual selves,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:25.56,0:19:29.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we didn't have the weight\Nof gender expectations.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:29.20,0:19:34.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Boys and girls are undeniably\Ndifferent biologically,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:34.13,0:19:37.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but socialization exaggerates\Nthe differences
Dialogue: 0,0:19:37.19,0:19:39.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then it becomes\Na self-fulfilling process.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:39.82,0:19:42.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now take cooking for example.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:42.17,0:19:45.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Today women in general are more likely\Nto do the house work than men,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:45.95,0:19:47.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the cooking and cleaning.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:47.30,0:19:48.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But why is that?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:48.87,0:19:51.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it because women are born\Nwith a cooking gene?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:51.57,0:19:53.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:19:53.36,0:19:56.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or because over years they have been\Nsocialized to see cooking as their rule?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:57.44,0:20:00.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Actually I was going to say that maybe\Nwomen are born with a cooking gene,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:00.40,0:20:04.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,until I remember that the majority\Nof the famous cooks in the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:04.39,0:20:06.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whom we give the fancy title of "chefs,"
Dialogue: 0,0:20:06.65,0:20:08.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are men.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:09.28,0:20:10.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I used to look up to my grandmother
Dialogue: 0,0:20:10.86,0:20:12.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who was a brilliant, brilliant woman,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:12.57,0:20:14.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and wonder how she would have been
Dialogue: 0,0:20:14.74,0:20:18.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if she had the same opportunity\Nas men when she was growing up.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:19.20,0:20:21.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now today, there are\Nmany more opportunities for women
Dialogue: 0,0:20:21.72,0:20:23.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than there were during\Nmy grandmother's time
Dialogue: 0,0:20:23.78,0:20:26.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of changes in policy,\Nchanges in law,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:26.66,0:20:28.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all of which are very important.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:28.47,0:20:32.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what matters even more\Nis our attitude, our mindset,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:32.49,0:20:35.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what we believe and what we value\Nabout gender.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:36.06,0:20:38.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if in raising children
Dialogue: 0,0:20:38.41,0:20:41.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we focus on ability instead of gender?
Dialogue: 0,0:20:41.85,0:20:43.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if in raising children
Dialogue: 0,0:20:43.38,0:20:47.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we focus on interest instead of gender?
Dialogue: 0,0:20:47.15,0:20:49.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know a family who have\Na son and a daughter,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:49.52,0:20:51.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,both of whom are brilliant at school,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:51.20,0:20:53.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who are wonderful, lovely children.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:53.29,0:20:55.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When the boy is hungry,\Nthe parents say to the girl
Dialogue: 0,0:20:55.81,0:20:58.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Go and cook Indomie noodles\Nfor your brother."
Dialogue: 0,0:20:58.96,0:21:02.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now the daughter doesn't particularly like\Nto cook Indomie noodles,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:02.82,0:21:05.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but she's a girl,\Nand so she has to.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:05.72,0:21:07.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, what if the parents,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:07.20,0:21:08.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the beginning,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:08.46,0:21:14.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,taught both the boy and the girl\Nto cook Indomie?
Dialogue: 0,0:21:14.09,0:21:17.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cooking, by the way,\Nis a very useful skill for boys to have.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:17.18,0:21:21.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've never thought it made sense\Nto leave such a crucial thing,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:21.79,0:21:25.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the ability to nourish oneself,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:25.03,0:21:27.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the hands of others.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:27.32,0:21:32.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:21:32.06,0:21:35.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know a woman who has the same degree\Nand the same job as her husband,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:35.84,0:21:38.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when they get back from work\Nshe does most of the house work,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:38.59,0:21:40.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which I think is true for many marriages,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:40.97,0:21:42.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what struck me about them was that
Dialogue: 0,0:21:42.97,0:21:45.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whenever her husband changed\Nthe baby's diaper,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:45.54,0:21:48.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she said "thank you" to him.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:49.05,0:21:53.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now what if she saw this\Nas perfectly normal and natural
Dialogue: 0,0:21:53.75,0:21:57.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that he should, in fact,\Ncare for his child?
Dialogue: 0,0:21:59.59,0:22:03.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm trying to unlearn\Nmany of the lessons of gender
Dialogue: 0,0:22:03.41,0:22:05.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I internalized when I was growing up.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:05.67,0:22:08.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I sometimes still feel very vulnerable
Dialogue: 0,0:22:08.42,0:22:11.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the face of gender expectations.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:11.17,0:22:14.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first time I taught a\Nwriting class in graduate school
Dialogue: 0,0:22:14.26,0:22:15.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was worried.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:15.73,0:22:19.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wasn't worried about the material\NI would teach because I was well-prepared
Dialogue: 0,0:22:19.25,0:22:21.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I was going to teach\Nwhat I enjoy teaching.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:21.48,0:22:24.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead, I was worried about what to wear.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:24.81,0:22:26.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanted to be taken seriously.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:27.30,0:22:29.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I knew that because I was female
Dialogue: 0,0:22:29.01,0:22:32.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will automatically\Nhave to prove my worth.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:33.46,0:22:35.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I was worried if I looked too feminine
Dialogue: 0,0:22:35.38,0:22:37.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would not be taken seriously.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:37.54,0:22:41.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I really wanted to wear my shiny lip gloss\Nand my girly skirt,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:41.69,0:22:43.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I decided not to.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:43.38,0:22:45.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead, I wore a very serious,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:45.98,0:22:49.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,very manly, and very ugly suit.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:50.04,0:22:52.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because the sad truth is\Nthat when it comes to appearance
Dialogue: 0,0:22:52.67,0:22:54.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we start off with man as the standard,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:54.59,0:22:56.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as the norm.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:56.20,0:22:58.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If a man is getting ready\Nfor a business meeting
Dialogue: 0,0:22:58.56,0:23:00.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he doesn't worry about\Nlooking too masculine
Dialogue: 0,0:23:00.42,0:23:02.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and therefore not being taken for granted.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:03.03,0:23:05.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If a woman has to get ready\Nfor business meeting,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:05.84,0:23:09.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she has to worry about looking\Ntoo feminine, and what it says
Dialogue: 0,0:23:10.44,0:23:13.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and whether or not\Nshe will be taken seriously.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:14.06,0:23:16.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wish I had not worn\Nthat ugly suit that day.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:17.27,0:23:20.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've actually banished it from my closet,\Nby the way.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:20.72,0:23:25.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Had I then the confidence\Nthat I have now to be myself
Dialogue: 0,0:23:25.66,0:23:28.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my students would have benefited\Neven more from my teaching,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:28.59,0:23:30.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I would have been\Nmore comfortable,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:30.50,0:23:33.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and more fully and more truly myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:33.72,0:23:38.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have chosen to no longer be apologetic\Nfor my femaleness
Dialogue: 0,0:23:38.16,0:23:40.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and for my femininity.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:40.43,0:23:46.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:23:46.54,0:23:49.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I want to be respected\Nin all of my femaleness
Dialogue: 0,0:23:49.81,0:23:52.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I deserve to be.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:52.11,0:23:54.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gender is not an easy conversation\Nto have.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:55.64,0:23:57.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For both men and women,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:57.92,0:24:01.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to bring up gender, sometimes\Nencounters almost immediate resistance.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:01.49,0:24:04.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can imagine some people here\Nare actually thinking
Dialogue: 0,0:24:04.24,0:24:06.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Women, true to selves? "
Dialogue: 0,0:24:08.41,0:24:10.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some of the men here might be thinking
Dialogue: 0,0:24:10.25,0:24:12.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Okay, all of this is interesting,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:12.31,0:24:14.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I don't think like that."
Dialogue: 0,0:24:14.86,0:24:16.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that is part of the problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:16.95,0:24:20.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That many men do not actively think\Nabout gender
Dialogue: 0,0:24:20.16,0:24:21.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or notice gender,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:21.60,0:24:23.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is part of the problem of gender.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:23.71,0:24:26.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That many men, say, like my friend Louis,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:26.22,0:24:28.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that everything is fine now.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:28.76,0:24:32.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that many men do nothing to change it.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:32.06,0:24:34.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you are a man and you walk\Ninto a restaurant with a woman
Dialogue: 0,0:24:34.90,0:24:37.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the waiter greets only you,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:37.28,0:24:39.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,does it occur to you to ask the waiter
Dialogue: 0,0:24:39.31,0:24:41.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Why haven't you greeted her?"
Dialogue: 0,0:24:43.87,0:24:46.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because gender can be...
Dialogue: 0,0:24:47.31,0:24:54.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:24:55.73,0:24:59.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Actually we may repose part of\Na longer version of this talk.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:00.31,0:25:03.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, because gender can be\Na very uncomfortable conversation to have,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:03.92,0:25:06.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there are very easy ways to close it,\Nto close the conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:06.86,0:25:10.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So some people will bring up\Nevolutionary biology
Dialogue: 0,0:25:10.10,0:25:11.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and apes,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:11.28,0:25:14.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how, you know, female apes\Nbow down to male apes
Dialogue: 0,0:25:14.88,0:25:16.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that sort of thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:16.60,0:25:18.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the point is we're not apes.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:18.93,0:25:24.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)\N(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:25:25.68,0:25:30.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Apes also live on trees and\Nhave earth worms for breakfast
Dialogue: 0,0:25:30.23,0:25:31.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but we don't.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:32.08,0:25:33.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some people will say,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:33.39,0:25:36.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well, poor men also have a hard time."
Dialogue: 0,0:25:36.47,0:25:38.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is true.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:38.96,0:25:41.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that is not what this...\N(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:25:41.32,0:25:44.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But this is not what this conversation\Nis about.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:45.51,0:25:49.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gender and class are different forms\Nof oppression.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:49.21,0:25:52.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I actually learned quite a bit\Nabout systems of oppression
Dialogue: 0,0:25:52.73,0:25:55.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how they can be blind to one another
Dialogue: 0,0:25:55.38,0:25:57.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by talking to black men.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:58.42,0:26:01.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was once talking to a black man\Nabout gender
Dialogue: 0,0:26:01.30,0:26:02.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he said to me,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:02.44,0:26:04.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Why do you have to say
Dialogue: 0,0:26:04.36,0:26:06.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'my experience as a woman'?
Dialogue: 0,0:26:06.22,0:26:07.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why can't it be
Dialogue: 0,0:26:07.39,0:26:10.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'your experience as a human being'?"
Dialogue: 0,0:26:10.81,0:26:13.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now this was the same man\Nwho would often talk about
Dialogue: 0,0:26:13.09,0:26:16.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,his experience as a black man.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:18.46,0:26:21.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gender matters. Men and women\Nexperience the world differently.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:22.03,0:26:24.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gender colors the way\Nwe experience the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:24.58,0:26:27.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But we can change that.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:27.21,0:26:28.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some people will say,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:29.42,0:26:31.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh but women have the real power,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:31.92,0:26:33.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bottom power."
Dialogue: 0,0:26:33.39,0:26:36.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And for non-Nigerians, bottom power\Nis an expression which --
Dialogue: 0,0:26:36.15,0:26:37.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I suppose means something like
Dialogue: 0,0:26:37.72,0:26:41.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a woman who uses her sexuality\Nto get favors from men.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:41.100,0:26:45.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But bottom power is not power at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:46.78,0:26:50.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bottom power means that a woman
Dialogue: 0,0:26:50.08,0:26:53.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,simply has a good root to tap into,\Nfrom time to time,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:53.36,0:26:55.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,somebody else's power.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:56.03,0:26:57.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then of course we have to wonder \N
Dialogue: 0,0:26:57.36,0:26:58.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what happens when that somebody else is
Dialogue: 0,0:26:58.68,0:27:00.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a bad mood,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:00.01,0:27:01.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or sick,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:01.54,0:27:03.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or impotent.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:03.47,0:27:07.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:27:07.81,0:27:12.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some people will say that a woman\Nbeing subordinate to a man is our culture.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:13.84,0:27:15.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But culture is constantly changing.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:15.62,0:27:18.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have beautiful twin nieces\Nwho are fifteen
Dialogue: 0,0:27:18.58,0:27:19.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and live in Lagos,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:19.97,0:27:22.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if they had been born a hundred years ago
Dialogue: 0,0:27:22.86,0:27:25.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they would have been taken away\Nand killed.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:25.16,0:27:29.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because it was our culture,\Nit was our culture to kill twins.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:29.43,0:27:32.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what is the point of culture?
Dialogue: 0,0:27:32.36,0:27:33.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean there's the decorative,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:33.68,0:27:35.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the dancing...
Dialogue: 0,0:27:35.06,0:27:40.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but also, culture really is about\Npreservation and continuity of a people.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:40.28,0:27:41.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In my family,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:41.40,0:27:44.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am the child who is most interested\Nin the story of who we are,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:44.66,0:27:45.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in our tradition,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:45.80,0:27:48.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the knowledge about ancestral lands.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:48.19,0:27:50.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My brothers are not as interested as I am.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:50.95,0:27:53.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I cannot participate,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:53.07,0:27:54.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I cannot go to their meetings,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:54.88,0:27:56.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I cannot have a say.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:56.68,0:27:58.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I'm female.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:58.71,0:28:00.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Culture does not make people,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:00.94,0:28:02.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people make culture.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:05.42,0:28:08.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:28:09.11,0:28:12.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if it's in fact true\Nthat the full humanity of women
Dialogue: 0,0:28:12.50,0:28:15.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not our culture,\Nthen we must make it our culture.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:17.28,0:28:22.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think very often\Nof my dear friend Okuloma,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:22.15,0:28:26.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,may he and all the others that passed\Naway in that Sosoliso Crash
Dialogue: 0,0:28:26.85,0:28:29.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,continue to rest in peace.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:29.30,0:28:32.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He will always be remembered\Nby those of us who loved him.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:33.34,0:28:36.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he was right that day many years ago
Dialogue: 0,0:28:36.29,0:28:38.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when he called me a feminist.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:38.19,0:28:39.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am a feminist.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:40.37,0:28:42.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when I looked up the word\Nin the dictionary that day,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:42.51,0:28:43.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is what it said:
Dialogue: 0,0:28:43.71,0:28:44.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Feminist,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:44.96,0:28:47.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a person who believes\Nin the social, political
Dialogue: 0,0:28:47.43,0:28:50.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and economic equality of the sexes.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:51.24,0:28:52.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My great grandmother,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:52.88,0:28:54.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the stories I've heard,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:54.24,0:28:55.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was a feminist.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:55.94,0:28:59.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She ran away from the house of the man\Nshe did not want to marry,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:59.24,0:29:02.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and ended up marrying the man\Nof her choice.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:02.08,0:29:05.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She refused,\Nshe protested, she spoke up
Dialogue: 0,0:29:05.17,0:29:10.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whenever she felt she's being deprived\Nof access, or land, that sort of thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:10.57,0:29:13.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My great grandmother did not know\Nthat word "feminist,"
Dialogue: 0,0:29:13.98,0:29:16.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it doesn't mean that she wasn't one.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:17.19,0:29:19.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,More of us should reclaim that word.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:20.63,0:29:23.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My own definition of feminist is:
Dialogue: 0,0:29:24.04,0:29:26.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a feminist is a man or a woman
Dialogue: 0,0:29:26.30,0:29:28.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who says -
Dialogue: 0,0:29:28.02,0:29:37.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)\N(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:29:37.67,0:29:40.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a feminist is a man or a woman who says
Dialogue: 0,0:29:40.67,0:29:44.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yes, there's a problem\Nwith gender as it is today,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:44.16,0:29:45.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we must fix it.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:45.62,0:29:48.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We must do better."
Dialogue: 0,0:29:48.87,0:29:50.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The best feminist I know
Dialogue: 0,0:29:50.49,0:29:52.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is my brother Kenny.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:53.56,0:29:57.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's also a kind, good-looking,\Nlovely man,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:57.71,0:30:00.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he's very masculine.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:00.18,0:30:01.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:01.69,0:30:06.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)